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Speaker 1: Hey, this is am. This is John, your og Okay

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Speaker 1: storytime podcast host, and we got.

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Speaker 2: Some delicious, juicy stories coming up.

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Speaker 1: But if you want to hear that deliciousness, you know,

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Speaker 1: just stick around for a two minute break with a

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Speaker 1: word from our sponsors.

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Speaker 3: My mother in law's boyfriend caused chaos at my wedding.

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Speaker 3: Someone needs to stop him.

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Speaker 4: Arrest him. Arrest that man.

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Speaker 3: My husband and I met when he was in school

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Speaker 3: nearby my hometown. His family lived across the country and

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Speaker 3: I had only met them twice maybe before this. His

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Speaker 3: mother was a sweet woman, but needs a lot of

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Speaker 3: care and attention. By the way, this comes from Joy

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Speaker 3: Moon Arts on the r slash Okay Storytom Subredent. So

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Speaker 3: she was dating slash living with this guy, what we

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Speaker 3: call him Luke when we got married. Because husband's family

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Speaker 3: was traveling, Luke decided to accompany mother in law to

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Speaker 3: take care of her. Everyone arrived and went to their

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Speaker 3: hotel three days before the wedding. At our rehearsal dinner,

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Speaker 3: Luke was very friendly with my then teenage sister. You

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Speaker 3: thought he liked older women. My father was not impressed

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Speaker 3: and proceeded to stick super close to sister for the

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Speaker 3: rest of the evening. Things continued to get more awkward

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Speaker 3: from there. The next day at the church, he awkwardly

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Speaker 3: just kind of wandered in and sat in the front.

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Speaker 3: He was fine through the whole ceremony, but when we

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Speaker 3: were headed to a different location for photos, and because

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Speaker 3: he was driving the majority of the husband's family, we

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Speaker 3: gave him specific directions on how to get there. Not far,

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Speaker 3: just a couple of turns, not bad. Here's the problem.

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Speaker 3: One has to enter the address very specifically because there

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Speaker 3: are two streets in the town with the same name,

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Speaker 3: but one is east and the other one is west.

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Speaker 3: So the address we needed to go to was one

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Speaker 3: two three W Street, but one two three E Street

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Speaker 3: also existed guests, which one he decided to put in

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Speaker 3: his GPS s bed East. We drove for about an

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Speaker 3: hour before finally calling my new husband in a rage

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Speaker 3: because this dear husband gave him the wrong address and

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Speaker 3: directions and they now won't get back to take pictures.

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Speaker 3: Pictures are already over and so husband tells Luke to

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Speaker 3: just drive to the reception. We arrive at the reception

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Speaker 3: and tell the DJ we are running a bit behind

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Speaker 3: because family got lost. Well five minutes turned into ten,

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Speaker 3: that turned into fifteen, and we can't wait any longer

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Speaker 3: to do the entry, so we do our introductions, parents,

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Speaker 3: the wedding's party, and us. My dad blesses the mill

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Speaker 3: and these people are still not there. Where did he

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Speaker 3: drive to that's thirty minutes, bro, this is crazy. Next

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Speaker 3: thing we know, there is a banging and slamming on

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Speaker 3: the window behind the hed table.

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Speaker 4: God, why are you gonna make an entrance?

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Speaker 3: My bridesmaids all get startled and scream, and the men

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Speaker 3: all get up to defend the perimeter. Oh wait, nope,

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Speaker 3: it's just slop pounded on the window because he can't

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Speaker 3: find the front door. Again, this person and his sense

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Speaker 3: of direction, This.

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Speaker 4: Man, I have a bad sense of direction. It's not

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Speaker 4: that bad. It's not this sky bad.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, luke badeth that you put it in the

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Speaker 3: out there?

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Speaker 4: Whoa bad?

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Speaker 3: Anyway? Someone goes and finds them. They all compiling to

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Speaker 3: the door and everyone is seated and already eating. Husband

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Speaker 3: had got up to grab something, and the next thing

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Speaker 3: I know, we hear shouting from across the room, Lucas

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Speaker 3: shouting at husband for starting the reception without them and

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Speaker 3: berating him for being disrespectful, inconsiderate son.

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Speaker 2: Son, you were disrespectful? How could you have done this

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Speaker 2: to me?

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Speaker 4: He's look, I got lost in It's her fault.

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Speaker 3: Dude, You're just some dude. My mom's dating like my dad.

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Speaker 2: My dad.

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Speaker 3: Husband kept his composure Major pops for that and ask

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Speaker 3: why it took them so long to get there. Luke says, well,

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Speaker 3: you gave me the wrong address again. We didn't even

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Speaker 3: give him any address. It was on the invitation's website

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Speaker 3: and even out mass text message the morning off. Everyone

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Speaker 3: else found it no problem and they were on time.

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Speaker 3: This big Einstein brain decided he knew better and input

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Speaker 3: the address himself incorrectly and went the wrong way again,

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Speaker 3: and then blamed us for his magellan ass navigational decisions.

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Speaker 3: So Luke is steaming, husband is stewed, and mother in

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Speaker 3: law is crying, and nobody is happy. We decided to

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Speaker 3: just move on and eat and put it aside for now.

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Speaker 4: I would kick Luke out.

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Speaker 3: We finished our meals and speeches, and now it is

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Speaker 3: time to dance. Luke bee lines for my teenage sister

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Speaker 3: and asked her to dance.

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Speaker 2: Yeo, wow, she's eighteen?

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Speaker 4: Is that true?

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Speaker 3: So she's eighteen, guys, is she about to turn? She's eighteen,

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Speaker 3: about to turn? My dad gets a hustle on and

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Speaker 3: heads them off. Now let me just pause and say,

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Speaker 3: Luke is very tall, beer bellied, sweaty, seventy something year

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Speaker 3: old white guy, and he gave us all the ick.

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Speaker 3: So my sister is less than impressed. But this is

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Speaker 3: a big old man and she is about fourteen.

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Speaker 4: Ew So the thing is like, this isn't even a

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Speaker 4: person that he knows, Like, it's not like it's on

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Speaker 4: Opie's husband's side, and it's like someone he's met before.

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Speaker 4: This is a complete stranger fourteen year old that he

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Speaker 4: keeps trying to interact with. I would be incredibly uncomfortable

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Speaker 4: even at like I would be uncomfortable if a seventy

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Speaker 4: year old man was like.

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Speaker 2: What's damn back of my age? You didn't need age

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Speaker 2: of consent?

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Speaker 4: I hate this man.

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Speaker 3: Dad to the rescue. Luke kept trying to dance with

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Speaker 3: the young girls at the reception. They were all freaked out,

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Speaker 3: and finally I think it was my dad someone told

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Speaker 3: him to sit down. Luke decided that was enough and

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Speaker 3: they were going to leave now, thank god, So he

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Speaker 3: packed everyone back into his car and they took off.

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Speaker 3: So my husband and I finished the party, grabbed our

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Speaker 3: bags and headed out for a honeymoon, which was great.

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Speaker 3: Whiting was over story over right right? Nope, a god,

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Speaker 3: we're right past halfway.

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Speaker 4: Don't dang. Luke continues to strike.

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Speaker 3: A few weeks later, after we moved into our new apartment,

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Speaker 3: we can invite it to dinner with Luke and mother

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Speaker 3: in law. Luke keeps making passive aggressive comments to my husband.

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Speaker 3: This continued every time we saw him from then on.

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Speaker 3: One day, we get a frantic call from mother in law.

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Speaker 3: Luke's brother passed and he was leaving to go deal

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Speaker 3: with it, and she was in a panic. Turns out

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Speaker 3: the brother was actually passed by someone else in his

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Speaker 3: own house.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god.

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Speaker 3: Mother in law flies out with Luke and has a

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Speaker 3: dream about the brother. The brother tells her the password

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Speaker 3: to his computer in her dream. Turns out it was

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Speaker 3: the correct password.

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Speaker 4: Going on.

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Speaker 3: Meanwhile, husband and I are left to take care of

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Speaker 3: their dog and we go over there and I decide

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Speaker 3: to be a snoop because there is just something off

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Speaker 3: about Luke and no one can really put a finger

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Speaker 3: on it. Oh brother, I wish I had it. We

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Speaker 3: found all kinds of weird spicy sleep stuff, books, toys, movies,

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Speaker 3: old school DVDs, found stuff on his computer. It was

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Speaker 3: a major gross We told him mother in law all

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Speaker 3: about it.

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Speaker 4: Okay, I was like, it's at least it's not child corn.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, thank goodness. But she didn't care. This guy was

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Speaker 3: going to take care of her. So yes, of course

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Speaker 3: she would overlook all the weird stuff. They decided to

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Speaker 3: get married. They planned their wedding so we would share

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Speaker 3: an aniversary.

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Speaker 2: How thoughtful.

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Speaker 3: How that is so nice of them now instead of

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Speaker 3: settling two days, just one big day. I still don't

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Speaker 3: know what that was all about. Anyway. Husband and I

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Speaker 3: arrive at their wedding. I head to the bridle room

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Speaker 3: and husband heads to where the guys were getting ready.

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Speaker 3: Guess who isn't there. Mother in law is crying because

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Speaker 3: she thinks she is getting left at the altar. No

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Speaker 3: one can get a hold of Luke, and the guests

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Speaker 3: are starting to speculate whether or not Luke will actually

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Speaker 3: show up. About an hour later, okay, he shows up

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Speaker 3: with some lame excuse about how the sprinklers at his

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Speaker 3: house are leaking or something, they're supposed to do that,

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Speaker 3: like they're.

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Speaker 4: Like going on. He's like, there's water fumbing out of

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Speaker 4: the ground.

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Speaker 3: The wedding goes fine, the reception is fine, Everything is fine.

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Speaker 3: About a year later, they are moving into a new

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Speaker 3: apartment and Luke, as they are moving in says to

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Speaker 3: mother in law, I am not attracted to you and

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Speaker 3: I am not in love with you anymore. The divorce

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Speaker 3: papers are on the counter. He had gone through the

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Speaker 3: divorce proceedings in secret pretty much from the go. And

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Speaker 3: you can go to our live streams every weekday at

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Speaker 3: three pmpaht wor Sophia.

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Speaker 4: TikTok, Facebook, YouTube, and Twitch.

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Speaker 3: We're live right now, maybe so go check it out.

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Speaker 4: I did to go double check. Man, oh man, if

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Speaker 4: only anyone could have seen that Luke was a HORRIBLEOK person,

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Speaker 4: creepy weirdo. If only anyone could have seen that this

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Speaker 4: might happen.

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Speaker 2: Uh, that was crazy.

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Speaker 4: He's got he's got a boat full of red flags

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Speaker 4: that he trails behind him. And the mother in law

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Speaker 4: was like, oh no, he's.

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Speaker 3: Perfect from me, And can we talk about this sub

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Speaker 3: story the password and the dream? That was crazy being right,

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Speaker 3: like psychic, I don't know. I don't know, but that wow. Okay,

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Speaker 3: hopefully they found something on the computer that could have

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Speaker 3: used to help find them.

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Speaker 4: That she had wasn't the one that they found all

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Speaker 4: of the icky stuff on.

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Speaker 3: Right, That was Luke's computer. They were she knew the

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Speaker 3: password to his brother's computer. Yeah, I was on the

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Speaker 3: brothers probably, like I don't know, sir incis episode. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: let's finish the story on now. It's a mad scrambled

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Speaker 3: to find mother in law a place to live and

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Speaker 3: figure out what the heck is happening. He's in it

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Speaker 3: for the money, I bet you. It turns out Luke

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Speaker 3: has been cheating on mother in law the whole time,

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Speaker 3: with the woman in her twenties.

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Speaker 4: Shocking the man that was trying to dance with fourteen year.

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Speaker 3: Olds come to find out that he had actually been

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Speaker 3: married six times before mother in law. Mother in law

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Speaker 3: got a place to live and is doing much better now.

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Speaker 3: Not sure what happened to Luke, but I'm sure he

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Speaker 3: is slimming up someone else at it. It was not

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Speaker 3: underaged stuff on his computer, but it was just gross

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Speaker 3: adult stuff. Okay, noted, Yeah that was our question. But

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Speaker 3: oh yeah, this guy sucks modern law not see that.

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Speaker 4: She seems to have seen it, but was like, Oh,

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Speaker 4: I want someone to care for me in my old

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Speaker 4: age at seventies, so I'm not gonna be picky. And

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Speaker 4: she was like, I'm gonna be really not picky.

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Speaker 3: I'll take anyone that would make me so uncomfortable if

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Speaker 3: I was with someone and Dad was here, gross gross grosch.

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Speaker 4: But that is the end of that story. My manipulative

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Speaker 4: mother in law blames us for not seeing her grandchildren,

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Speaker 4: but it's her fault. Maybe if she was a better person,

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Speaker 4: she could see her grandkids exactly. I forty three and

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Speaker 4: my husband forty three, met eighteen years ago, married fourteen years.

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Speaker 4: While we were dating, I saw his mom exhibit behavior

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Speaker 4: towards their family that made it clear she has no

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Speaker 4: respect for anyone but herself. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 4: from stock in Arkansas on the Okay storytime Separate. I

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Speaker 4: can't be too detailed, but she alienated her siblings to

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Speaker 4: a degree that most of them have little to nothing

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Speaker 4: to do with her. She stopped boundaries put in place

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Speaker 4: by the older cousins of my husband that had kids

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Speaker 4: when we were dating. I personally saw her laugh as

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Speaker 4: she told one of them that she blatantly disregarded their rules.

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Speaker 4: For the infant, she would buy holiday gifts for kids

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Speaker 4: who's family didn't celebrate holidays for religious reasons, while telling

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Speaker 4: the parents in front of the kids their beliefs are

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Speaker 4: wrong and she'll do as she likes.

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Speaker 3: Nice right role model.

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Speaker 4: This red flag behavior made me extremely wary of her.

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Speaker 4: Years went by and my husband and I eloped. We

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Speaker 4: didn't see any reason for a big wedding and didn't

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Speaker 4: want to start our life together more broke. We called

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Speaker 4: her parents the night before we got married and told them.

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Speaker 4: My parents were congratulatory, but mother in law immediately started

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Speaker 4: on why my husband shouldn't do it. She told him

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Speaker 4: I'm lazy, selfish, inconsiderate, etc.

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Speaker 3: Maybe she'll get a mirror.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe you're talking about yourself. She spent an hour

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Speaker 4: trying to talk him out of marrying me. He told

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Speaker 4: her she was being an a hole and that he

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Speaker 4: wasn't asking her permission, he just thought she'd be happy.

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Speaker 4: Spoiler alert. We got married the next day. We didn't

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Speaker 4: live near our families at the time, so all was well.

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Speaker 4: Then we decided to start a family, and within a

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Speaker 4: few months I was pregnant with our first we decided

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Speaker 4: to move closer to home and ended up staying with

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Speaker 4: my mother in law the last two months of my

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Speaker 4: pregnancy while finding and closing on our house. While living

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Speaker 4: with her, she told me to be a stay at

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Speaker 4: home mom, don't go to work, take care of our

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Speaker 4: kids because they are more important than extra money. I

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Speaker 4: actually am a stay at home mom, and guess who's

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Speaker 4: still calls me lazy. We had our first and two

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Speaker 4: weeks later moved into our new home.

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Speaker 3: Why can't this woman just be yourself?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I cannot win. She's like the mother in law's

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Speaker 4: be a stay at home mom, and she's like okay,

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Speaker 4: and she's like, you're not, You're wrong. I was so

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Speaker 4: ready to go. Yes, we were in her house, but

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Speaker 4: this woman would come running in our room at all

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Speaker 4: hours because the baby was crying, yelling what's wrong? And

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Speaker 4: give baby to grandma. Calm down, woman, it's time to nurse.

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Speaker 4: She wanted me to stop trying to nurse our baby

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Speaker 4: the first two weeks so she could feed her baby,

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Speaker 4: and I was selfish for not cooperating. She wanted to

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Speaker 4: take our fresh newborn to her office to show off.

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Speaker 4: We weren't even taking the baby to the grocery store.

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Speaker 4: After we moved, she never came over. We lived thirty

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Speaker 4: minutes from her house and two hours from my parents,

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Speaker 4: and they visited every weekend. We had to go to her.

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Speaker 4: About six to eight months after we moved in, mother

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Speaker 4: in law moved five hours away.

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Speaker 3: Oh right, good.

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Speaker 4: We made a few trips to see her, and she

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Speaker 4: came to visit for a couple of hours. For the

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Speaker 4: baby's first birthday, my parents came and helped set up

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Speaker 4: for the party. That helped us break down the party.

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Speaker 4: Shortly after we found out we were having baby number two.

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Speaker 4: Mother in law showed up for the baby shower, then

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Speaker 4: left after an hour, even though one was at the party.

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Speaker 4: When two was born, there were health issues and two

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Speaker 4: was in the ACU for twenty day. She came to

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Speaker 4: see him for two days, then went back home while

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Speaker 4: my parents got a hotel and took care of one

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Speaker 4: for us so we could stay at the hospital as

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Speaker 4: much as possible. I think she came back once more

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Speaker 4: before Christmas that year. She doesn't care about these kids. Yeah, no, No,

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Speaker 4: that summer she came into town and did everything in

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Speaker 4: her power to get husband and I to argue. Now,

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Speaker 4: I grew up with a master manipulator, so I learned

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Speaker 4: early to brush most of it off. When she tried

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Speaker 4: to convince me a husband that he was ready to

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Speaker 4: propose to another girl weeks before he met me slash

302
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:10,240
Speaker 4: while we were dating, I was laughing. She clung hard

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Speaker 4: to this story too.

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Speaker 3: Why an't we throwing your son under the bus?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, She's like, my son was trying to marry another girl,

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Speaker 4: and he's like, mom, what's going on? Naming the restaurant

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Speaker 4: husband took me to on our first fancy date. The

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Speaker 4: time we went was the only time he'd been up to.

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Speaker 4: When she was telling us this, talking about things that

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Speaker 4: happened to us, but maintaining it was another girl. The

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Speaker 4: best was that this girl had a name that starts

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Speaker 4: with the same letters mine does. My husband was getting

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Speaker 4: frustrated because they were obviously lies, but I was dying laughing.

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Speaker 4: It was just so sad and funny. She even told

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Speaker 4: us about a seagull stealing our fries, as if it

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Speaker 4: happened with husband and another woman. This behavior as continued,

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Speaker 4: but it's just sad. Now, this is like something something

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Speaker 4: medically wrong here. How unhappy do you have to be

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Speaker 4: to seek to suck the joy out of others, especially

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Speaker 4: your own son? Yeah, he's happy, happily married, has her

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Speaker 4: kid kids, and you're like, no, I need to ruin this.

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Speaker 3: Why what about?

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Speaker 4: A year and a half after two was born, we

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Speaker 4: moved forty five minutes away from my parents and three

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Speaker 4: hours from mother in law. In the two years we

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Speaker 4: lived there, mother in law came three times to visit.

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Speaker 4: All other trips we had to go see her. We

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Speaker 4: went there for festivals, to visit her at work, and

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Speaker 4: once for my husband to complete a job interview, on

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Speaker 4: top of just random trips. Two years later, we moved

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Speaker 4: eighteen hours away from my husband's career. We've been here

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Speaker 4: for seven years and she has only come once a year,

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Speaker 4: at either Christmas or Thanksgiving for three to four days

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Speaker 4: to visit. The best was when she wanted to take

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Speaker 4: one and two on twenty hour road trip Christmas Day,

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Speaker 4: right after opening their presence, just to turn around and

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Speaker 4: drive back twenty hours the twenty seventh. Of course, I

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00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,760
Speaker 4: was the a hole when I pointed out how dumb

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00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:52,360
Speaker 4: of an idea that was, no kid wants to leave

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Speaker 4: their presence to ride in a car for forty hours

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Speaker 4: over three days. I'm an adult and I don't want

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Speaker 4: to do that. About a year after we moved into

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Speaker 4: our house here, we got a surprise in baby number three.

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Speaker 3: All right, pump on your out, yeah.

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Speaker 4: Frank, of those kids out because you can have two.

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Speaker 3: I mean kids, are you probably four?

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Speaker 2: Classic? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Oh angilx four and you like four? Yeah, she's told

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Speaker 3: me on the first day. But I did ask her

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Speaker 3: on a first day come to kids. I was like, really,

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Speaker 3: I have three siblings. She's the youngest four siblings.

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Speaker 4: It's gonna be two premioure Oh I see, I see.

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Speaker 4: Being significantly older now three was more of a shock

354
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Speaker 4: than a surprise. Mother in law kept to her regularly

355
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:32,480
Speaker 4: scheduled visits. She didn't come out to meet three until Banksgiving. Unfortunately,

356
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:35,080
Speaker 4: a couple of years later, she lost her youngest son.

357
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:38,520
Speaker 4: Oh that's sad. He passed around Thanksgivings. So we went

358
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Speaker 4: to her and stayed two weeks to help her with

359
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,400
Speaker 4: funeral arrangements and just to be there. Kids one and

360
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:46,080
Speaker 4: two were in school, but they were excused. I think

361
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:48,520
Speaker 4: this is why now she thinks they can visit whenever

362
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,920
Speaker 4: with zero consequences. Brother in law had three kids of

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00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,360
Speaker 4: his own, all with ages that align with one, two,

364
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,720
Speaker 4: and three, but due to mother in law and brother

365
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:59,480
Speaker 4: in law having a bad relationship, we have never met

366
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:02,880
Speaker 4: brother in law youngest two children. Their mother wants nothing

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00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:05,040
Speaker 4: to do with mother in law, and since we have

368
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:07,600
Speaker 4: included her in our travel plans to their home state,

369
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,600
Speaker 4: sister in law two would have nothing to do with us,

370
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Speaker 4: understandably so as far as I'm aware, even brother in

371
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Speaker 4: law's other child has a little to no relationship with her.

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00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,080
Speaker 4: She has gone to visit once since the kid's birth

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Speaker 4: for a weekend, yet she expects his mother to send

374
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Speaker 4: the kid to stay with her. This summer two years ago,

375
00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:26,879
Speaker 4: we traveled to our home state to visit and rented

376
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,160
Speaker 4: a beach house with room for her to stay with us.

377
00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:31,639
Speaker 4: She opted to rent her own place off the beach

378
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,120
Speaker 4: and wanted the kids to stay with her. We had

379
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Speaker 4: family visiting every day, so we said no, but you

380
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:41,560
Speaker 4: can have them x night. They had great grandparents, my parents, aunts, uncles,

381
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:45,040
Speaker 4: and cousins from both sides come stay nights to visit

382
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Speaker 4: with tons of kids, so the kids wanted to stay

383
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Speaker 4: with us. Last summer, we traveled to our home state

384
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,880
Speaker 4: and stayed a week at an airbnb two hours from her.

385
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,639
Speaker 4: We invited her to stay with us, and she refused.

386
00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:59,360
Speaker 4: She said she was too tired to drive. I offer

387
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:02,159
Speaker 4: to pick her up, she refused. My husband offered to

388
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:02,639
Speaker 4: pick her up.

389
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Speaker 2: She refused.

390
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:06,920
Speaker 4: Husband was left feeling hurt that she wouldn't come to visit.

391
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,080
Speaker 4: Everything has to be on her terms, that's the thing.

392
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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it doesn't matter how easy it is.

393
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:12,720
Speaker 4: If she doesn't want to do it, she's not gonna

394
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Speaker 4: make any Yeah, concessions.

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Speaker 3: So my grandma is it's hard. Yeah, it's like.

396
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Speaker 4: I tell my grandma is too.

397
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:22,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so because like I came to visit one

398
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,320
Speaker 3: time and it was such a packed week I didn't

399
00:18:25,359 --> 00:18:27,879
Speaker 3: want to drive with Angie to go meet her. I

400
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:29,879
Speaker 3: was like, hey, we're having a family event here, come

401
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:31,439
Speaker 3: join us and I'd love to see you. It was

402
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:34,119
Speaker 3: like literally five minutes away from her house. Didn't come. Dang.

403
00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:37,760
Speaker 3: But she does have like CPOD stuff and like breathing issues,

404
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,760
Speaker 3: but she has also smoked her whole life.

405
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:40,520
Speaker 4: Doesn't help.

406
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:42,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, what about your grandma?

407
00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:44,240
Speaker 4: She just won't come to America.

408
00:18:44,359 --> 00:18:46,160
Speaker 3: Oh that okay, Yeah, that's tough.

409
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:49,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, kids, one and two were also hurt, but they

410
00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:51,359
Speaker 4: had cousins to play with, so they brushed it off.

411
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,680
Speaker 4: The vacations I've mentioned aren't our only trips to home

412
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,159
Speaker 4: state in the last seven years plus. I make it

413
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,959
Speaker 4: a point to go to mother in law's first and

414
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:01,960
Speaker 4: last on those trips, partly because my parents come to

415
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:05,720
Speaker 4: visit multiple times a year, and partly because apparently I'm

416
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,359
Speaker 4: a huge glutton for punishment. We paid for her to

417
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:10,680
Speaker 4: go to Disney World with us for six days when

418
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:13,879
Speaker 4: one and two were five and four years old. Never again.

419
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:17,040
Speaker 4: She only actually went into the park two days, and

420
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,720
Speaker 4: one of them she just walked off with our kids

421
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:22,119
Speaker 4: and wouldn't answer her phone and didn't send a text,

422
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:25,880
Speaker 4: didn't take two's emergency meds, just vanished for almost an hour.

423
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:29,040
Speaker 4: That's terrifying what mother in law has been asking us

424
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:31,840
Speaker 4: to send one only one. She says she can't handle

425
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,000
Speaker 4: two and three, and she and one have a special

426
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,679
Speaker 4: bond because one is her baby, to go on special

427
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:40,159
Speaker 4: vacations to different states and countries since one's birthday. We

428
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:44,160
Speaker 4: aren't doing that one. These kids are the three Musketeers,

429
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,320
Speaker 4: all for one and one for all and b. We

430
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:49,639
Speaker 4: haven't felt comfortable with interstate travel until now due to

431
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:53,600
Speaker 4: many factors, but primarily their ages, and two has ongoing

432
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:56,000
Speaker 4: health concerns from his birth trauma. Out of the country

433
00:19:56,040 --> 00:20:00,120
Speaker 4: trips without us just aren't happening until they're adults. A

434
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:04,639
Speaker 4: all this that's just backstory. We have ongoing current drama.

435
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:07,240
Speaker 4: My parents retired in the last three years and have

436
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,760
Speaker 4: rented a home near us and have been here the

437
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:12,240
Speaker 4: last year to help us as we prepare to move

438
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:15,000
Speaker 4: yes again for my husband's career. They had to return

439
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,240
Speaker 4: home for a visit to help with my grandparents, and

440
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:19,479
Speaker 4: since they were leaving at the beginning of summer vacation,

441
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:22,679
Speaker 4: we agreed to send the kids back with them. We

442
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:25,160
Speaker 4: called mother in law and told her, and at first

443
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,359
Speaker 4: she was super excited.

444
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:26,880
Speaker 1: Yay.

445
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:29,080
Speaker 4: We called to let her know the dates they would

446
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 4: be there and arranged a week to stay with her.

447
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,840
Speaker 4: When we called again to let her know they had

448
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:36,120
Speaker 4: left and would be in her home state the next day,

449
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:39,320
Speaker 4: eighteen hour drive, she was upset One, two, and three

450
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:42,360
Speaker 4: would be with my parents a whole twenty four hours

451
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,280
Speaker 4: longer than her because they're better than you.

452
00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:44,760
Speaker 3: Yeah.

453
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:47,040
Speaker 4: Then she told us that she had taken extra days

454
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,520
Speaker 4: off and planned to keep them longer, and when we

455
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,720
Speaker 4: told her that won't work because others have taken time

456
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,640
Speaker 4: off to see the kids, she decided we are keeping

457
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:55,920
Speaker 4: her kids from her.

458
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:59,119
Speaker 3: Excuse me, ma'am, but were you there in the nine

459
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:03,199
Speaker 3: of them? Actually nine times three is twenty seven? Were

460
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,639
Speaker 3: you there in the twenty seven months of carrying these children?

461
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:06,720
Speaker 4: Did you burth any of them?

462
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,000
Speaker 2: No? I don't think so. No.

463
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 3: So technically these are not your kids.

464
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:13,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, technically, and also just like in all realities, these

465
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:16,160
Speaker 4: aren't your kids. Yeah, and you have no claim over them.

466
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:19,639
Speaker 4: And if OP and her partner say, hey, they're going

467
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,520
Speaker 4: to see other people and you can see them these days,

468
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:22,680
Speaker 4: then you gotta listen to that.

469
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:23,120
Speaker 3: That's right.

470
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:23,680
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

471
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,280
Speaker 4: She has been told numerous times she can come here

472
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:28,960
Speaker 4: to visit anytime she wants. We have a bedroom for

473
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,280
Speaker 4: her and everything. She says, we can come visit her

474
00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:33,720
Speaker 4: or more. Husband tells her he gets three weeks of

475
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,480
Speaker 4: vacation to her six. She can spend her money and

476
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:40,200
Speaker 4: time however she wants, but if she chooses to go elsewhere,

477
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,760
Speaker 4: we are not responsible for her not seeing the kids.

478
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,920
Speaker 4: She has a two week abroad VAKA scheduled this summer. Again,

479
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 4: she says, we can come there those three weeks. The

480
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,479
Speaker 4: kids live here. The kids' lives are here, they have

481
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:55,280
Speaker 4: school activities, friends, Kid two is missing weeks of necessary

482
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:58,679
Speaker 4: PT and OT he can't miss much more without backsliding.

483
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:01,840
Speaker 4: We finally had to explain to her that her expectations

484
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:05,320
Speaker 4: just aren't realistic. We won't ever be sending our kids

485
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:07,919
Speaker 4: to stay with her the whole summer. Her latest demand.

486
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,800
Speaker 4: She is, however, welcome to come visit during the summer.

487
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,199
Speaker 4: Bear in mind, all of this is stemming from us

488
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:16,399
Speaker 4: refusing to let her keep the kids extra because another

489
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:19,520
Speaker 4: family member rearranged their schedule to spend time with them.

490
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,679
Speaker 4: This family member loses hundreds of dollars each client they

491
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:25,280
Speaker 4: cancel and fits three to six clients in a day.

492
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:28,200
Speaker 4: So no, mother in law, I don't feel comfortable asking

493
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,240
Speaker 4: them to suck it up for a last minute schedule

494
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,119
Speaker 4: change you didn't run by anyone else.

495
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:33,480
Speaker 2: Her actual request.

496
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 4: By the way, Also, she's mad because I decided to

497
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,880
Speaker 4: fly to home state to surprise the kids, and now

498
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,160
Speaker 4: she can't bully my mom into giving in to her

499
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:45,159
Speaker 4: nice I feel like I have been very accommodating. I

500
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,680
Speaker 4: try to include her as much as possible. I call

501
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:51,200
Speaker 4: her after every big milestone. I send pictures of the kids.

502
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,679
Speaker 4: And when one got a cell phone, we told mother

503
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 4: in law to text and call anytime outside of school

504
00:22:56,560 --> 00:23:00,360
Speaker 4: hours and bedtimes. She never called and only texted three

505
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:02,959
Speaker 4: to four times. She's only been to three birthday parties

506
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:06,280
Speaker 4: total out of their combined twenty four, even when we

507
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:08,960
Speaker 4: live two hours away. I told my husband I refuse

508
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 4: to feel guilty because she doesn't see the kids as

509
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 4: often as she thinks she could. I'm done always reaching

510
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,359
Speaker 4: out and being the one making an effort. My phone

511
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:22,000
Speaker 4: rings and receives texts. The interstate goes both directions. There

512
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:24,359
Speaker 4: are flights at the airport daily, and she can always

513
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,879
Speaker 4: huck fin it up the river if nothing else. But

514
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:30,480
Speaker 4: I'm done. He is so disappointed with her and angry

515
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:33,320
Speaker 4: that she has decided to be so difficult over an

516
00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:36,280
Speaker 4: issue that's her own doing. But you know what's not difficult.

517
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,359
Speaker 3: What's not Sophia joining us live.

518
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:41,120
Speaker 4: Every WEEKDA at three PMPSD on YouTube, Facebook and TikTok.

519
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:43,359
Speaker 4: It's the easiest thing. Yeah, all you gotta do is

520
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 4: have on a profile, tap it and there is a

521
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,720
Speaker 4: little bit left to the story, but seems like she's

522
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,239
Speaker 4: just making problems.

523
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:52,119
Speaker 3: Making problems once he keeps this victim mind set. You

524
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 3: never include me in anything. You guys are always excluding.

525
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:56,439
Speaker 4: It's like, go, well, what are you doing?

526
00:23:56,640 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 3: Eater? I noticed she only wants them around. It's convenient

527
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:03,879
Speaker 3: to her and makes her look good. Yeah, because earlier

528
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:05,680
Speaker 3: she wanted to bring the baby to her office to

529
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 3: show off everyone.

530
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:08,600
Speaker 4: She's like, look at this baby I have, and.

531
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 3: They shut that down really quick. I don't know if

532
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,840
Speaker 3: she tried to do more things like that, but yeah,

533
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:14,200
Speaker 3: maybe maybe good.

534
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:16,399
Speaker 4: But I think, yeah, keep your boundaries in place. They

535
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 4: aren't bad at all, Like those are very fair boundaries

536
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:21,320
Speaker 4: to have. She took two weeks two summers ago to

537
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,000
Speaker 4: visit her niece and her baby, but only came here

538
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:27,240
Speaker 4: for four days at Thanksgiving. Last year, she drove out

539
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 4: two days before Christmas and left the day after Christmas

540
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:34,240
Speaker 4: after dodging our summer trip home. Yet where a summer

541
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 4: responsible for her not seeing the kids more often? The

542
00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 4: lack of logic confounds me. And while this isn't an

543
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,240
Speaker 4: am I the ale post, I can't help wondering if

544
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:45,600
Speaker 4: I am an ale because I'm not at all sad

545
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,919
Speaker 4: she comes to visit as rarely as she has, and

546
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,320
Speaker 4: I'm kind of hoping she punishes us by not coming

547
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:53,400
Speaker 4: to visit this year. After all, she's getting her time

548
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 4: with the kids out of the way early, right. Yeah,

549
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:57,200
Speaker 4: and that is the end of that story.

550
00:24:57,359 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 3: It makes sense you don't have any more emotions with

551
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,880
Speaker 3: us because you gave her some any chance, so many opportunities.

552
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,360
Speaker 4: These opportunities, and she just doesn't want to take them.

553
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:03,720
Speaker 2: Yeah.

554
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:05,679
Speaker 3: Yeah, So you can't feel bad for someone.

555
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 4: No, if they're going to make their own trouble, then

556
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 4: I don't have to sit in it with them.

557
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:14,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. That's seen to that story. Who my mother

558
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,880
Speaker 3: in law cast so much heartbreak, so I didn't tell

559
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 3: her that her son had passed. Ooh, here's the backgrounds.

560
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:25,720
Speaker 3: I am a fifty two year old woman and my

561
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:28,640
Speaker 3: husband was fifty four when he passed. I met him

562
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 3: in May of nineteen ninety eight. It was pretty much

563
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,840
Speaker 3: love at first sight, Okay. I was the love of

564
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,800
Speaker 3: his life. He loved me more than I could have

565
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:39,560
Speaker 3: ever expected anyone to love me. By the way, this

566
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 3: comes from Amber seventy two on the r slash showcase

567
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:42,919
Speaker 3: story Time, so I read it.

568
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:43,880
Speaker 2: He was living with his.

569
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:46,040
Speaker 3: Mom at the time. I don't know why, but she

570
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:49,160
Speaker 3: was very controlling of him, a red flag I didn't

571
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:52,200
Speaker 3: pay attention to. She calls a lot of petty drama,

572
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,679
Speaker 3: things like getting mad because he wouldn't go home for dinner.

573
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 3: He came to see me when he got off work

574
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:00,880
Speaker 3: and stayed until like tennish in August. Things got crazy,

575
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:02,960
Speaker 3: so he moved in with me. In two thousand, he

576
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,919
Speaker 3: was in a really bad car accident that should have

577
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:09,280
Speaker 3: taken his life. He hit the steering wheel and it

578
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 3: severed his a order.

579
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:11,879
Speaker 4: That's like really bad.

580
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:13,520
Speaker 2: Because of his size.

581
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,399
Speaker 3: And his love for me and my son from my

582
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:19,240
Speaker 3: first marriage, he stayed alive. He was in the hospital

583
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,080
Speaker 3: for over a month. Every weekend his mom would come

584
00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:24,679
Speaker 3: to visit. She tried to take over his care and

585
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:26,880
Speaker 3: tried to make it so that they had to ask

586
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 3: her permission to do any type of treatment. We were married.

587
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:33,000
Speaker 3: We got married of August of ninety nine, so they

588
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:34,320
Speaker 3: weren't able to allow it.

589
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:35,800
Speaker 2: She was horrible.

590
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:38,280
Speaker 3: One day, my son, who was five at the time,

591
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:41,520
Speaker 3: was sitting nicely in a chair watching cartoons while we

592
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:44,800
Speaker 3: were visiting my husband due to his injuries. They had

593
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 3: him in a medical induced coma. Anyway, Karen came in

594
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 3: and changed the channel to football. My son got upset

595
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:54,600
Speaker 3: and started to cry. He was being really well behaved

596
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:56,520
Speaker 3: and it's hard for a five year old to sit

597
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 3: and stay quiet in the hospital. But dude, Tennessee is playing.

598
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:01,440
Speaker 4: I got to watch the game.

599
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 3: Come on, dude, they're playing its preseason.

600
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:06,119
Speaker 4: Who cares if your dad's in the hospital. I'm not

601
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 4: gonna consider your feelings.

602
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,040
Speaker 3: Just because he's in a medically induced COMAD does mean

603
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:10,880
Speaker 3: we stopped football.

604
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, you need to learn.

605
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:13,680
Speaker 2: You need to grow up. Kid.

606
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:16,200
Speaker 3: Kid's the ale. You know when I got from the story,

607
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:17,119
Speaker 3: this kid's an ale.

608
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 4: Kid's a problem.

609
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:20,760
Speaker 3: She called him a criberry b Yeah, because he's five.

610
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:23,960
Speaker 3: Of course he is crab baby, and put the TV

611
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:26,640
Speaker 3: back on the cartoons. I did tell her that he

612
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,040
Speaker 3: was watching the TV, and she told me, well, Jeff

613
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 3: likes the Raiders and they're playing today. Oh is that

614
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:31,920
Speaker 3: the husband?

615
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:32,560
Speaker 4: Oh?

616
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, that guy. I told her that Jeff isn't able

617
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 3: to watch TV and that they would prefer my son

618
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:42,080
Speaker 3: to watch TV. Anyways, she calls so much drama. I

619
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:44,199
Speaker 3: swear if she could have had him transferred to the

620
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:47,479
Speaker 3: city she lived in, she would have. Fast forward to

621
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:51,200
Speaker 3: twenty eleven, Jeff and I were in the process of separating.

622
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:54,920
Speaker 3: He was on some medicines that made him mean, hateful,

623
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,639
Speaker 3: and aggressive. I didn't know it was the medicines that

624
00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 3: were making him act that way. When we decided to separate,

625
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:02,439
Speaker 3: he chose to go back to his mom's while I

626
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:05,160
Speaker 3: stayed in our home. We had four kids. My first

627
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:07,960
Speaker 3: son was now fifteen, my second seven, and my twin

628
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:11,119
Speaker 3: girls five. We worked things out, but due to some

629
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 3: legal issues with some things, he had to go to

630
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:16,960
Speaker 3: his mom's for We were on good terms. We were

631
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 3: good when he left us, but she took that time

632
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 3: and he was there to manipulate him and talk all

633
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:26,240
Speaker 3: kinds of crap about me. She was able to convince

634
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:28,719
Speaker 3: him to come get the kids on Christmas and not

635
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:31,639
Speaker 3: bring them back. She talked to him into pretty much

636
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,720
Speaker 3: kidnapping the kids. She thought they would be better off

637
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 3: with her.

638
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 4: The mother in law. She's trying to take your kids.

639
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 3: She's trying to puppet to your him him to take

640
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:46,480
Speaker 3: the kids. I was to stay at home mom when

641
00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 3: all of this went down and I didn't have much money.

642
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:50,920
Speaker 3: I was able to get a full time job, but

643
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:54,560
Speaker 3: it didn't start until February. She even got a lawyer

644
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:57,960
Speaker 3: in the town I lived in. She lived six hours away.

645
00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:00,719
Speaker 3: They would get up really early and to town and

646
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 3: not tell me, take him to his doctor appointments, go

647
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:06,400
Speaker 3: see lawyers, and then leave. She would have all the

648
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:08,640
Speaker 3: kids call me on the way home and tell me

649
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:11,440
Speaker 3: they were just in town and they were sad that

650
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 3: that they didn't get to see me. So that's six

651
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:15,040
Speaker 3: hours away, and we'll wake up really early to take

652
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 3: them to everything they need to go to. Sir, so

653
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 3: they show she took them a kidnap them and she

654
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 3: can't say anything because she doesn't have enough money to

655
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:27,160
Speaker 3: get a lawyer to charge them. Oh my god, Andre

656
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:28,280
Speaker 3: technically still married.

657
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's fine, it's not kidnapping because it's with their dad.

658
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 3: Long story short. I represented myself when we went to court.

659
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:38,400
Speaker 3: I was able to maintain custody and get divorced from Jeff.

660
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 3: Represent yourself nice.

661
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:42,160
Speaker 4: I feel like, I mean, it sucks because it seems

662
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 4: like Jeff, it's like the medicine is causing this, but

663
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:47,480
Speaker 4: but still no one like no one's on op's side

664
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:47,960
Speaker 4: right now.

665
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wonder if you could divorce someone with chat

666
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:52,160
Speaker 3: GBT better than a lawyer could. I think we're at

667
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:53,720
Speaker 3: that age if you had an earpiece.

668
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 4: Your honor, have you considered that twenty percent of and

669
00:29:57,840 --> 00:29:58,840
Speaker 4: then it just goes into like.

670
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 3: Really specific data. There is a lot more to this,

671
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:05,360
Speaker 3: but for time's sake, all into here. The court hearing

672
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 3: was in January. In February, he called me on my

673
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:09,880
Speaker 3: birthday and said he missed us and wanted to come

674
00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 3: back home. He was on new medicines that made him

675
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:15,480
Speaker 3: wake up and he realized how bad things really were,

676
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 3: and he was not happy with his mom. He was

677
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 3: horrified at everything that had happened, and because he was

678
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 3: on the wrong antidepressants, he didn't realize what had happened.

679
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 4: That's just really scary to think that like the medicine could,

680
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 4: which it can can totally change your personality.

681
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 3: All to your brain ways and stuff. When he was

682
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 3: given the correct medication, it took him out of the

683
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,840
Speaker 3: fog and he was able to see things clearly. So

684
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:40,240
Speaker 3: we came back home and we ended up getting remarried.

685
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 3: Twelve twelve twelve oh she called him before the wedding

686
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 3: and begged him not to marry me. We should have

687
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:49,480
Speaker 3: never gotten a divorce. His lawyer even pretty much said

688
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:52,120
Speaker 3: that he told us that she should have stayed out

689
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,560
Speaker 3: of it and let us live our lives. Jeff had

690
00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:58,320
Speaker 3: many health problems at epilepsy, high blood pressure, and a

691
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 3: plethora of other things wrong with him. Walking was almost impossible,

692
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:04,960
Speaker 3: so we stayed home most of the time. On the

693
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 3: weekend of September ninth, as we were severalelebrating my oldest

694
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:11,160
Speaker 3: son's birthday, his grandparents were in town and we all

695
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:13,400
Speaker 3: went to visit them at a hotel. We had a

696
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 3: great day and was getting ready to leave. I went

697
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 3: to get the car and as I was waiting, my

698
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 3: son called me said there was something wrong with Dad.

699
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:23,800
Speaker 3: I went back to the room and he was panicking.

700
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:26,480
Speaker 3: He couldn't get up and he couldn't really move or talk.

701
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:28,959
Speaker 3: We called nine to one one and realized he was

702
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 3: having a struggle. The next day, we thought he was

703
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 3: doing good until his brain swelled. I called his mom

704
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 3: and told her about what was going on. Monday, I

705
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 3: talked to the doctor and nurses and they let me

706
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,720
Speaker 3: know that his best case scenario if we were to

707
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:44,920
Speaker 3: come out of this would be he would have to

708
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:47,880
Speaker 3: live in a nursing home on a ventilator. That was

709
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:51,440
Speaker 3: the absolute basic scenario. That's not what Jeff would have wanted.

710
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 3: So I made the difficult choice of letting the suffering

711
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 3: end and let him go to heaven.

712
00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:59,800
Speaker 4: I forgot about the title. I forgot about the title

713
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:00,760
Speaker 4: of this story.

714
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:01,920
Speaker 1: That's tough.

715
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:04,600
Speaker 4: Oh that's heartbreaking.

716
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 3: Dang, dude, that is such a tough thing to do.

717
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 3: Choice to make too Yeah, brain dead?

718
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, like you can't do anything.

719
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:15,680
Speaker 3: I told his mom all of this. She told me

720
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:18,080
Speaker 3: not to take him off live support. She wanted me

721
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 3: to wait another week to see if he would come

722
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:22,640
Speaker 3: out of this coma and be okay. I told her

723
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:25,400
Speaker 3: I was told by the doctor, but she wanted me

724
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 3: to wait. I told her everything. I told her that

725
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 3: Tuesday he would be taken off live support. She did

726
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,720
Speaker 3: not come down to see him, not once. She tried

727
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,080
Speaker 3: to bash me on Facebook by saying thank you for

728
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:39,400
Speaker 3: telling me my son passed on Facebook. I told her

729
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:42,880
Speaker 3: he hasn't passed yet, that she had twenty four more hours.

730
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 3: I made the decision to donate his organs, so it

731
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:47,840
Speaker 3: was going to be a few more days so they

732
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 3: could get things situated. By the way, you can get

733
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 3: situated with us every weekday at through PMPSD. You just

734
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 3: tap our profile and we go live on YouTube, Facebook, Twitch.

735
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:58,480
Speaker 4: Oh my god, what a what just really heartbreaking And

736
00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 4: for her to be like also, it doesn't even seem

737
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:02,719
Speaker 4: like you know, Opip was like, oh, I didn't tell her.

738
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:05,560
Speaker 3: It seems like op, she's being very important to her.

739
00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:06,160
Speaker 2: Yeah.

740
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 4: Maybe maybe we finished the story and we find out, Oh,

741
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 4: like she didn't tell her the day on the day.

742
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:14,920
Speaker 4: Seems like you've told her multiple times what the deadline

743
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 4: is for this, and she doesn't care.

744
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 3: And it's really weird that not only your son is

745
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 3: at the hospital, he doesn't have much time left. You

746
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:24,840
Speaker 3: haven't seen him.

747
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 4: Yeah. No, this mother in law is terrible.

748
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:30,680
Speaker 3: That is wild. This is where I could be the

749
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 3: a hole. The nurse asked for permission to give Karen

750
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:37,080
Speaker 3: the information about Jeff. I told the nurse, no, this

751
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:40,680
Speaker 3: was Tuesday. Jeff didn't end up passing away until Friday,

752
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 3: the sixteenth of September. Karen did not make the trip

753
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 3: to say goodbye. She didn't even come to give her

754
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:50,240
Speaker 3: grandchildren any support because of the fuss she caused on Facebook.

755
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:52,520
Speaker 3: A lot of people told her off how she can

756
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:55,480
Speaker 3: still see him. She didn't even come to his funeral.

757
00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:56,720
Speaker 4: That's just terrible.

758
00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:59,320
Speaker 3: I never liked her, and she never liked me. She

759
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:01,680
Speaker 3: calls her son so much grief and heartache when he

760
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:04,480
Speaker 3: was alive. There's so much I'm leaving out here due

761
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:06,600
Speaker 3: to length and time. So am I the a hole

762
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 3: for not letting the nurse talk to her about my

763
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:12,719
Speaker 3: husband's terminal condition. You're not the lying oursh No, not

764
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,560
Speaker 3: at all. Which ways does the interstate go two ways?

765
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:18,240
Speaker 4: And she never drove down to see her husband, yeah,

766
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:19,200
Speaker 4: or her son.

767
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:21,359
Speaker 3: And she had more than twenty four hours to go,

768
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:26,400
Speaker 3: so yeah, oh yeah, then it ridiculous. That's so crazy.

769
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 3: I think she felt so prideful that whenever people backlashed

770
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:31,759
Speaker 3: on her on Facebook, yeah, she's like, I'm done, I

771
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:32,560
Speaker 3: can't do anything.

772
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, She's like, everyone hates me. You're cheaping my brain.

773
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:37,000
Speaker 2: You know, take a hate comment?

774
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:37,919
Speaker 3: We take them all the time.

775
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:40,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, we take them like a champ.

776
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 1: Yep.

777
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 2: Just get you get hit, what do you do?

778
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:46,480
Speaker 4: Get back up? But that is the end of that story.

779
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:47,280
Speaker 3: I was a bummer.

780
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:48,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, sorry friends.

781
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,120
Speaker 4: So sorry, yeah, I hope everyone's okay.

782
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host. Here. We're gonna get

783
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:55,359
Speaker 1: back to the stories. But here's three minutes of bads

784
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:59,600
Speaker 1: from our sponsors. My mother book the next door cruise

785
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:03,360
Speaker 1: room for our honeymoon without permission.

786
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:06,240
Speaker 2: Oh, she's gonna be here and all kinds of stuff

787
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 2: she shouldn't be.

788
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 1: She's putting her ear to that door. So my future

789
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:13,960
Speaker 1: husband twenty seven and I twenty two are getting married

790
00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:17,919
Speaker 1: next year on a four day cruise. I've literally never

791
00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:19,840
Speaker 1: been more excited in my life. Not only will I

792
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:24,040
Speaker 1: be marrying the man of my dreams, but we will

793
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:27,879
Speaker 1: get to enjoy a long and luxurious honeymoon right after.

794
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:31,400
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from leather Job eleven fifty

795
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:35,920
Speaker 1: four on our slash Okay, story timeber it's so for

796
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:41,879
Speaker 1: future for context, we have booked a consecutive cruise right

797
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,759
Speaker 1: after our wedding cruise for our honeymoon.

798
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:46,800
Speaker 2: That's commitment to a lifestyle.

799
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:50,439
Speaker 1: We wanted to have our own time because we both

800
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:54,200
Speaker 1: find socializing quite exhausting, so we know that the four

801
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:57,319
Speaker 1: days after the wedding will be very demanding for us

802
00:35:57,360 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 1: both and it won't feel like much of honeymoon. Both

803
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:03,759
Speaker 1: of our families can be quite overwhelming and stressful to

804
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:07,840
Speaker 1: be around in short doses, so we are very prepared

805
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:12,120
Speaker 1: for the challenge. What I was not prepared for was

806
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:16,120
Speaker 1: my mother telling me she booked her ticket and she

807
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:20,080
Speaker 1: asks the cruise company to book her room right next

808
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:20,760
Speaker 1: two hours.

809
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:21,600
Speaker 2: Eh.

810
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 1: Why important points? My mom has history of doing things

811
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:30,759
Speaker 1: like this to me. I am not as physicist, but

812
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:33,719
Speaker 1: I've done a lot of research into mental health and

813
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:37,799
Speaker 1: mental health disorders. I think my mother presents as a

814
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:41,799
Speaker 1: textbook covert narcissist. As you can imagine, this has made

815
00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:45,080
Speaker 1: my relationship with her extremely challenging and strained my dad

816
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 1: in her divorce when I was seven, and she still

817
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:51,120
Speaker 1: to this day holds a massive grudge and puts him

818
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:56,680
Speaker 1: down whenever possible. I unfortunately lived with her. She abused

819
00:36:56,719 --> 00:36:58,479
Speaker 1: me my whole life, and I had to move out

820
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:01,560
Speaker 1: just before I was sixteen. The final straw was when

821
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:04,280
Speaker 1: she tried to force me to sleep on a dirty

822
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:10,320
Speaker 1: mattress on the floor when I had two perfectly good beds.

823
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,440
Speaker 1: This was all because my dad took me to see

824
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:17,919
Speaker 1: his sister after several years, who my mom ate. We've

825
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:21,000
Speaker 1: had many attempts at amending the relationship, but every time

826
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 1: it goes the same. She says she'll treat me better,

827
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:26,959
Speaker 1: she'll change, and then once I forgive her, she goes

828
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:30,440
Speaker 1: back to her usual ways. She's very good at using

829
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 1: the things she's learned in therapy and self help books

830
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:37,960
Speaker 1: to justify her fed up actions. She always plays the

831
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:41,719
Speaker 1: victim and uses every trick in the narcissist Handbook to

832
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:45,360
Speaker 1: get out of taking accountabilities. She always seems to enjoy

833
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:49,600
Speaker 1: crossing my boundaries. For example, when we had her over

834
00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 1: to our house for the night, just before bed, I

835
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,799
Speaker 1: spilt something on my shirt and I had to take

836
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:57,160
Speaker 1: it off and put it in the laundry, leaving me

837
00:37:57,320 --> 00:38:00,520
Speaker 1: fully exposed from the waist up. I had asked her

838
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 1: to go into her room slash not look as I

839
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:07,640
Speaker 1: ran upstairs, because I was not comfortable with my mother

840
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:10,880
Speaker 1: seeing me nudy booty as an adult.

841
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:15,160
Speaker 2: So I'm confused. You don't understand how to make it

842
00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:18,480
Speaker 2: so people can't see you getting changed. Go into a room,

843
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:19,360
Speaker 2: go somewhere.

844
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:23,439
Speaker 1: He's like, go into your room. I'm going to be Oh, dear,

845
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:25,160
Speaker 1: don't look, please, don't look.

846
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:31,040
Speaker 2: I'm changing in the communal area. Everyone to their quarters immediately. Instead,

847
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 2: she tried to watch me. It was so weird and violating.

848
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:38,080
Speaker 1: It was only thanks to my partner insisting that she

849
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:40,840
Speaker 1: stop and go to a room that she didn't. This

850
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:44,719
Speaker 1: freaked both my future husband and I out, but she

851
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:46,840
Speaker 1: played it off like she was joking. I was joking.

852
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:48,800
Speaker 1: I didn't want to actually cop a peak unless you

853
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:49,279
Speaker 1: wanted me to.

854
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 2: That's such a weird situation for both parties.

855
00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 1: I just want to see how things have changed since

856
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:55,719
Speaker 1: you were a baby. I just want to update, you know,

857
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:57,560
Speaker 1: check for any moles that might be there.

858
00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 2: Oh pee, get changed in a bathroom. For God's sakes,

859
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 2: what are we talking about.

860
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 1: Although I will very likely take a break from talking

861
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:07,960
Speaker 1: to her after my wedding, I still want her there.

862
00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:10,879
Speaker 1: Some of my reasons are related to the fear that

863
00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:13,919
Speaker 1: my mom's side of the family will not attend if

864
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:18,879
Speaker 1: I exclude her. Her family is very supportive of her,

865
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:21,640
Speaker 1: Her mother is exactly the same, if not worse, and

866
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:25,360
Speaker 1: they all still include her. But I mostly still hold

867
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 1: a little hope that one day she will get better,

868
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:31,239
Speaker 1: and I don't want to regret not having her there

869
00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:35,720
Speaker 1: for such a special day. I also do care about

870
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:39,799
Speaker 1: how she feels, and I feel like excluding her would

871
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:42,279
Speaker 1: crush her too. My future husband and I were very

872
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:45,720
Speaker 1: careful not to tell her or anyone else our room number,

873
00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:48,880
Speaker 1: as we were trying to avoid this exact situation. But

874
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:51,520
Speaker 1: she just wants to give like, you know, pointers on

875
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:53,320
Speaker 1: the wedding night, you know, like a like a football

876
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:55,440
Speaker 1: coach saying like, all right, you gotta do the hail

877
00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:57,279
Speaker 1: Mary play as all right, no, no, no, a little bit

878
00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:59,000
Speaker 1: to the left, swinging those hips.

879
00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:01,080
Speaker 2: She might be a narcis because she's giving off the

880
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 2: vibes of like, yeah, I know how to do that

881
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:03,080
Speaker 2: the best.

882
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:05,360
Speaker 1: If I could, I would have gone the whole trip

883
00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:08,319
Speaker 1: without giving her my room number, because she has demonstrated

884
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:11,880
Speaker 1: time and time again she has a no respect for

885
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:13,799
Speaker 1: me as a person, and she goes out of her

886
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:16,800
Speaker 1: way to cross my boundaries. So she has clearly gotten

887
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:19,480
Speaker 1: the cruise line to give out our information. In hindsight, yes,

888
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:21,560
Speaker 1: we should have made it clear to the cruise company

889
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:23,879
Speaker 1: that our room number was not to be given out

890
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 1: under any circumstances. I really feel like they should just

891
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:28,839
Speaker 1: be giving out room numbers to anyone.

892
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:30,839
Speaker 2: That asks, well, I guess once their last names line up,

893
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:33,280
Speaker 2: they start to ease up pretty quick. I would assume

894
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 2: that's gotta be why because it's her mom.

895
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:38,320
Speaker 1: But I honestly never thought that anyone would do something

896
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:42,640
Speaker 1: like this. It's honestly so creepy and disturbing that she

897
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:44,960
Speaker 1: would even want to be in the room next to

898
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:48,520
Speaker 1: us on our wedding night slash honeymoon. When she brought

899
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 1: it up, I expressed my discomfort and she told me

900
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:55,440
Speaker 1: I was being stupid. The walls are soundproof, I checked.

901
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:59,680
Speaker 2: This is weird behavior, This is very weird. She's like, Honey,

902
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:03,200
Speaker 2: your father and I booked the same cruise, and your

903
00:41:03,239 --> 00:41:06,040
Speaker 2: grandmother was on the other side of that wall. She

904
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:09,120
Speaker 2: tried her best, but she didn't hear a thing. And

905
00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 2: I guarantee you you're not louder than me and your dad.

906
00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:14,560
Speaker 1: The cruise people wanted us all to be in the

907
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 1: same area, and I should just stick it up because

908
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:20,880
Speaker 1: I am having a separate honeymoon cruise after and I

909
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:23,640
Speaker 1: should spend the first cruise with her anyway, because she's

910
00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:26,760
Speaker 1: making such a big effort to come. So my partner's

911
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 1: family and my dad are both booked on different floors.

912
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:31,920
Speaker 1: And said the cruise company never mentioned anything about wanting

913
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:34,279
Speaker 1: all the guests to be together. Also, I have no

914
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:37,200
Speaker 1: problem with spending time with our guests on our wedding cruise.

915
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:39,920
Speaker 1: We are so grateful that they are all joining us.

916
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:42,600
Speaker 1: But I don't want the expectation that my partner and

917
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:46,000
Speaker 1: I will give up all alone time right after we

918
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:49,000
Speaker 1: get married. Is this something that the cruise company should

919
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 1: be responsible for fixing. I don't even know if they

920
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:54,600
Speaker 1: are able to move someone's room once they have paid

921
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:57,719
Speaker 1: for it. I understand that it's probably not normal to

922
00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 1: want your mother to know your room number, and that

923
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:02,840
Speaker 1: she probably made it seem like we have a loving,

924
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:08,399
Speaker 1: close relationship, but they should not have given my information out. Yeah,

925
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:11,520
Speaker 1: they totally shouldn't. That's on them. Unfortunately, we cannot change

926
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:15,279
Speaker 1: rooms as we book a deluxe sweet extra padding on

927
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:18,600
Speaker 1: those walls so no one can listen in and there

928
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:21,600
Speaker 1: are no more available. By the way, we're always available

929
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:23,879
Speaker 1: for you to join us live on YouTube and Facebook

930
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:28,000
Speaker 1: every weekday at three pm PST. And we're probably live

931
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:32,440
Speaker 1: right now, so just have our profile. There's another relevant update, Dakota.

932
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:35,279
Speaker 1: But what do you think is the solution for when

933
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:39,160
Speaker 1: your mother wants to listen in on your sweet honeymoon

934
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:41,320
Speaker 1: love making right after you get married.

935
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:43,680
Speaker 2: Get as loud as possible. I'm sorry, I'd interject, get

936
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:45,520
Speaker 2: as loud as possible. Make it as weird as possible.

937
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:47,880
Speaker 1: That's what she wants. She wants to hear.

938
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:51,600
Speaker 2: Your first avenue needs to be trying to like strong

939
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:54,600
Speaker 2: arm the cruise line into being like, hey, I know

940
00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 2: you gave out my information, which is like, first you

941
00:42:57,560 --> 00:42:59,160
Speaker 2: need to figure out if they shouldn't do that or

942
00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:00,799
Speaker 2: if they can't do that, So then press them on

943
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:02,399
Speaker 2: that and be like, because you did that, I'm either

944
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:05,280
Speaker 2: going to lawsuit you for the cost of my ticket,

945
00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:07,839
Speaker 2: or y'all can move her somewhere else, or move us

946
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:10,759
Speaker 2: somewhere else, or give us a free cruise at a

947
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:13,400
Speaker 2: different time. And if that doesn't work, then you have

948
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:16,800
Speaker 2: to go like Ocean's thirteen style, like on your I

949
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 2: don't know if anyone knows this scene where the it's

950
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:20,880
Speaker 2: like they stink bomb somebody out of their room. You

951
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:24,520
Speaker 2: have to like make her experience miserable enough to where

952
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:26,960
Speaker 2: she just wants to get out of that room. But

953
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:31,399
Speaker 2: really that's not super realistic. Call the cruise you really

954
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:34,879
Speaker 2: think the cruise is going to accommodate one party if.

955
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:36,759
Speaker 1: There's two people with the deluxe rooms and they could

956
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:37,360
Speaker 1: just switch.

957
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:38,680
Speaker 2: Didn't they just say it that was like one of

958
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:39,839
Speaker 2: the last ones or something that.

959
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:42,920
Speaker 1: Let someone who's already gotten that room could just switch

960
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:44,600
Speaker 1: with Ope.

961
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, you just move her down like one. And

962
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:50,879
Speaker 2: this is Op's mom, and so it's the husband's mother

963
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 2: in law. So if all else fails, what you definitely

964
00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:57,360
Speaker 2: need to do is tell your mom that after this trip,

965
00:43:57,600 --> 00:44:02,920
Speaker 2: like you're going no contact because of her consistent lack

966
00:44:03,239 --> 00:44:09,040
Speaker 2: of respect regarding your boundaries and your wishes as a adult.

967
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:11,280
Speaker 2: You're on like a wedding cruise with your new husband,

968
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:12,960
Speaker 2: and your mom wants to be in the room right

969
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:13,640
Speaker 2: next to you.

970
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:17,000
Speaker 1: I feel like I have a hard time putting down

971
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:20,279
Speaker 1: a hard and fast like permanent walls, and so I

972
00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:23,239
Speaker 1: would say, like, hey, where we'd have limited contact or

973
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,160
Speaker 1: low contact. I don't know if I would go no

974
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:26,360
Speaker 1: contact all.

975
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:29,000
Speaker 2: The way, not permanent no contact.

976
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:30,960
Speaker 1: But we got a little bit more of this update.

977
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:33,319
Speaker 1: I also don't think talking to her about it will

978
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:36,040
Speaker 1: do anything. I already tried to address it when she

979
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:40,719
Speaker 1: brought it up, and she completely dismissed me and my concerns.

980
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:43,920
Speaker 1: Like I said, she is amazing at playing the victim

981
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:46,520
Speaker 1: and redirecting. She keeps throwing the fact that she is

982
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:49,799
Speaker 1: paying to attend the wedding in my face. And yeah,

983
00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:52,439
Speaker 1: if she's attending the wedding, she gets to attend all

984
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:54,560
Speaker 1: parts of that holy matrimony.

985
00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:57,480
Speaker 2: I just want to make sure that you know what

986
00:44:57,520 --> 00:44:57,919
Speaker 2: you're doing.

987
00:44:58,000 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 1: She keeps going the fact that she's paying to attend

988
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:02,200
Speaker 1: the wedding my face and saying I should be more grateful.

989
00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:05,720
Speaker 1: I could go into the conversation prepared and less shocked,

990
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:07,799
Speaker 1: but I feel like it just ends in a big

991
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:11,440
Speaker 1: fight and no solution. I'm willing to just it up

992
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:14,560
Speaker 1: if it comes to it. But I thought I would

993
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:18,080
Speaker 1: come here to hopefully get some advice and reassurance. And

994
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:21,760
Speaker 1: I'm not crazy for not wanting to share a wall

995
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:25,439
Speaker 1: with my mother on my honeymoon. I think we can

996
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:27,840
Speaker 1: all agree that Opie is not crazy.

997
00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 2: I wouldn't be super comfortable doing that. So if you're

998
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:35,279
Speaker 2: too uncomfortable to even enjoy each other and like there,

999
00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:37,880
Speaker 2: I think the move is to like make it like

1000
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:39,920
Speaker 2: a joke, so it's like just figure out, like a

1001
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:43,080
Speaker 2: way to like bang the headboard against the wall and

1002
00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:44,200
Speaker 2: like just say stuff.

1003
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:46,960
Speaker 1: But we have so much evidence that this mom is

1004
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:49,319
Speaker 1: just like I want to know everything going on with

1005
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:49,920
Speaker 1: my daughter.

1006
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:52,600
Speaker 2: I really don't know if that's what that was. I

1007
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:55,520
Speaker 2: think it was more of the narcissistic like she could

1008
00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:59,239
Speaker 2: not let go of somebody telling her one thing she

1009
00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:01,919
Speaker 2: had to do because she's like, can you please turn

1010
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 2: around and not look at me? And like the narcissist

1011
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:06,400
Speaker 2: is gonna be like, you can't say that you're my daughter.

1012
00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:08,759
Speaker 2: I'm in charge of you. I think that's what it is.

1013
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:10,839
Speaker 2: I'm your mother. I can do what I want to do.

1014
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:18,440
Speaker 2: I adored my stepfather until his passing revealed a betrayal.

1015
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:21,480
Speaker 1: Did he come back, as it goes and confess his sins?

1016
00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:25,759
Speaker 2: Growing up, I female twenty eight, had a great relationship

1017
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:29,240
Speaker 2: with my dad. He was my stepfather, but our family

1018
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:31,960
Speaker 2: was blended well in that aspect where we did not

1019
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:35,520
Speaker 2: use the term step and there was no contention over that.

1020
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:38,600
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user polite Pumpkin on

1021
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:42,399
Speaker 2: the r slash Okay Storytime sub reddit. So there were

1022
00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:45,399
Speaker 2: other issues that nobody knew about at the time, though

1023
00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:49,440
Speaker 2: that's not really relevant to this story. My second earliest

1024
00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:51,719
Speaker 2: memory is my parents sitting me down and telling me

1025
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:54,680
Speaker 2: that I could call my father dad if I wanted to.

1026
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:58,000
Speaker 2: From that day on, he was my dad. We did

1027
00:46:58,120 --> 00:47:01,440
Speaker 2: everything together. There was a five your age gap between

1028
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:03,560
Speaker 2: my brother and I, so while he was going through

1029
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:06,480
Speaker 2: his teen years, I was still young enough to want

1030
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:10,400
Speaker 2: to do everything with my parents. My mom, while not

1031
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:14,120
Speaker 2: a bad parent, was kind of an absentee. It wasn't

1032
00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:16,719
Speaker 2: that she wasn't around, but she always had to be

1033
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:19,640
Speaker 2: doing something. She never wanted to sit at home. But

1034
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:22,560
Speaker 2: my dad was more than content to let me tag

1035
00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:24,000
Speaker 2: along wherever he.

1036
00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 1: Was going, kind of like Elon Musk and his little

1037
00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:28,360
Speaker 1: kid X just like brings him everywhere.

1038
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:31,680
Speaker 2: We went everywhere together for the most part. His friends

1039
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:35,839
Speaker 2: all knew me, and I'd regularly attend dinner parties and

1040
00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:38,440
Speaker 2: the like with them, as I wasn't old enough to

1041
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:40,880
Speaker 2: be home alone, and even if I was, I wouldn't

1042
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:43,640
Speaker 2: want to stay home with my brother for a good reason.

1043
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:46,680
Speaker 2: All this to say that growing up, I was closer

1044
00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 2: to my dad than my mom. He was my hero.

1045
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:51,840
Speaker 2: I looked up to him and I wanted to be

1046
00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:55,120
Speaker 2: just like him. When I grew up, I thought that

1047
00:47:55,200 --> 00:47:58,759
Speaker 2: man walked on water. He and my mom had what

1048
00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:02,080
Speaker 2: I thought was a fair tail relationship. They were what

1049
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:06,000
Speaker 2: I wanted in the future with my partner. They never argued.

1050
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:08,360
Speaker 2: The one time that they did argue was such a

1051
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:11,200
Speaker 2: surprise that we were worried our parents would get divorced

1052
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:14,880
Speaker 2: because it never happened. I guess that was the first

1053
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:17,959
Speaker 2: time he showed that he could be sneaky and lie

1054
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:21,080
Speaker 2: so easily. Does it count as lying if you just

1055
00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:23,319
Speaker 2: don't argue in front of the children. I don't know.

1056
00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:27,520
Speaker 2: That sounds like what ops implying, though chronologically the reason

1057
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:32,840
Speaker 2: I can't forgive my stepfather actually happened before this. This

1058
00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:36,080
Speaker 2: is just how things played out from my perspective. Anyway.

1059
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:39,200
Speaker 2: He sent us to visit my grandparents across the country

1060
00:48:39,239 --> 00:48:42,879
Speaker 2: for the entire summer. He'd originally planned to come with us,

1061
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:45,880
Speaker 2: but then couldn't get off work. At least that's what

1062
00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:50,040
Speaker 2: he claimed. When we got back. Things seemed fine until

1063
00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:52,560
Speaker 2: we went to a family gathering and someone made a

1064
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:56,400
Speaker 2: comment about my dad's cancer treatment cancer we had no

1065
00:48:56,560 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 2: idea about. He sent us away without tell telling us

1066
00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:04,920
Speaker 2: his diagnosis. While he got treatment and suffered alone. My

1067
00:49:05,040 --> 00:49:07,640
Speaker 2: mom was pissed, and now, as a married woman, I

1068
00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:10,440
Speaker 2: would be shattered if my husband didn't feel like he

1069
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:12,960
Speaker 2: could turn to me for support in a situation like that.

1070
00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:17,120
Speaker 2: Things continued on from that after the anger cooled down

1071
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:21,080
Speaker 2: and we continued life as normal. I wasn't a perfect child,

1072
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:23,880
Speaker 2: and my dad and I thought. I'm not saying that

1073
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:26,319
Speaker 2: there were never any situations where we were angry at

1074
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:29,440
Speaker 2: each other, but he was always there when I needed him.

1075
00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:32,319
Speaker 2: When I got pregnant as a teenager, he was so

1076
00:49:32,680 --> 00:49:35,200
Speaker 2: angry at me, but he was there to hold my

1077
00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:38,520
Speaker 2: hand in the delivery room. He hated that I got

1078
00:49:38,560 --> 00:49:41,160
Speaker 2: married right out of high school, but he was there

1079
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:42,440
Speaker 2: to walk me down the aisle.

1080
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:46,640
Speaker 1: Sounds like he's like a pretty good guy. Like, yes,

1081
00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:51,080
Speaker 1: I understand not sharing a cancer prognosis, especially to your wife,

1082
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 1: is not like a good thing to do. It's not

1083
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:58,160
Speaker 1: good for your communication and your relationship. But I feel

1084
00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:00,319
Speaker 1: like it's born out of a desire to like not

1085
00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:05,960
Speaker 1: infect the family and his partner with the heaviness of

1086
00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:08,000
Speaker 1: that diagnosis.

1087
00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:10,480
Speaker 2: It's not like a Oh, I'm gonna get him, I'm

1088
00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:14,400
Speaker 2: gonna pull the coolest prank ever. On these guys. It's like, no,

1089
00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:17,080
Speaker 2: it's real complicated when you get a diagnosis that serious.

1090
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:19,560
Speaker 2: He hated that I moved eight hours away by car,

1091
00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:22,600
Speaker 2: but he was there for my daughter's second birthday. That

1092
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:24,920
Speaker 2: was when he confided to my mom that he was

1093
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:29,239
Speaker 2: wrong because he realized when he visited how happy my

1094
00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:32,960
Speaker 2: little family was. He hated that I ended up moving overseas,

1095
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:35,879
Speaker 2: but he was there to FaceTime me almost every night.

1096
00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:38,520
Speaker 2: He got sick not long before my daughter was born.

1097
00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:41,439
Speaker 2: We all knew about it from the beginning. This time, though,

1098
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:43,520
Speaker 2: there was no way for him to hide it. This time,

1099
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:45,480
Speaker 2: even if he wanted to. I was there in the

1100
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:48,319
Speaker 2: car with him when he suddenly started getting horrible back

1101
00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:51,279
Speaker 2: pain that wouldn't go away. He ended up having my

1102
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:53,520
Speaker 2: mom take him to the hospital after she got off work,

1103
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:57,080
Speaker 2: and he was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that was

1104
00:50:57,120 --> 00:51:01,480
Speaker 2: attacking his kidneys. I can't remember the exact name right now,

1105
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:04,000
Speaker 2: but he was on chemo for the last few years

1106
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:06,120
Speaker 2: of his life. He never showed how bad it was

1107
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:09,319
Speaker 2: and always took longer to accept doctor's orders when it

1108
00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:11,799
Speaker 2: came to mobility aids. In the end, he was using

1109
00:51:11,800 --> 00:51:13,879
Speaker 2: a cane even though the doctor told him he really

1110
00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:16,560
Speaker 2: needed a walker. He was a stubborn man like that.

1111
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:19,200
Speaker 2: I was the last person to talk to him before

1112
00:51:19,239 --> 00:51:23,200
Speaker 2: he passed. I regret how that conversation went so much now,

1113
00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:26,760
Speaker 2: not because we argued or ended the call on bad terms,

1114
00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:30,600
Speaker 2: but because it was mostly like every call we ever had.

1115
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:34,160
Speaker 2: He was so tired, he was falling asleep on the phone.

1116
00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:36,839
Speaker 2: Even now, when my view of him has changed, I

1117
00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:40,000
Speaker 2: still wish I had stayed on the phone longer with him. Instead,

1118
00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:41,880
Speaker 2: I told him it was okay if he wanted to

1119
00:51:41,920 --> 00:51:44,120
Speaker 2: go to bed, I told him he could just call

1120
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:46,439
Speaker 2: us later. The next morning, I got a call from

1121
00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:48,440
Speaker 2: his phone, and it was really early in the morning

1122
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:51,040
Speaker 2: back home, at three or four in the morning. I

1123
00:51:51,120 --> 00:51:53,120
Speaker 2: just assumed he woke up early since he went to

1124
00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:55,840
Speaker 2: bed early. But instead it was my mother calling to

1125
00:51:55,840 --> 00:51:58,320
Speaker 2: give me the news that he had passed in his sleep.

1126
00:51:58,680 --> 00:51:59,880
Speaker 2: That that have to reckon with.

1127
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:03,879
Speaker 1: I'm so confused why she's so mad at him so far,

1128
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:06,640
Speaker 1: I don't see it. I'm like still a little confused.

1129
00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:10,920
Speaker 2: Something happens, something comes to light that she realizes that

1130
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:13,360
Speaker 2: all of his past actions were some kind of lie.

1131
00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:15,920
Speaker 1: That's my bet because so far right now, without the

1132
00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:18,400
Speaker 1: context or whatever she's about to bring up, like, I'm like, oh, like,

1133
00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:21,319
Speaker 1: this is like guy that's trying his best, not someone

1134
00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:22,480
Speaker 1: who's trying to screw people over.

1135
00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:25,320
Speaker 2: My husband and I made arrangements to travel back home

1136
00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:27,440
Speaker 2: for the funeral and to be there with my mom.

1137
00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:29,920
Speaker 2: It was after the funeral that she told me something

1138
00:52:29,960 --> 00:52:33,719
Speaker 2: that changed my view of my dad. She went to

1139
00:52:33,760 --> 00:52:36,920
Speaker 2: get things figured out with the mortgage company. It's important

1140
00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:38,840
Speaker 2: to note that while the home had been in my

1141
00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:42,319
Speaker 2: dad's family for generations, he and my mom bought it

1142
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:45,480
Speaker 2: when they were already married, so the mortgage was taken

1143
00:52:45,520 --> 00:52:48,040
Speaker 2: out after they were married. When she went to get

1144
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:50,960
Speaker 2: the paperwork, she figured out that they told her that

1145
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:53,959
Speaker 2: she wasn't on the mortgage. She didn't think that could

1146
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 2: be right because while she didn't actually go to the

1147
00:52:56,600 --> 00:52:59,480
Speaker 2: meetings to purchase the house, she signed all the paperwork

1148
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:01,840
Speaker 2: my dad brought home to put her name on the

1149
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:03,239
Speaker 2: mortgage deed.

1150
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:04,960
Speaker 1: Seecret family, secret family.

1151
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:09,799
Speaker 2: What he really had her sign was forms forfeiting her

1152
00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:13,040
Speaker 2: rights to any claims on the house.

1153
00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:18,200
Speaker 1: Always read the contract or, at the very least put

1154
00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:21,399
Speaker 1: it into chat gbtn say you're a lawyer chat what

1155
00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:22,880
Speaker 1: should I be aware of?

1156
00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:26,800
Speaker 2: So she had no legal right to the home at all.

1157
00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:29,760
Speaker 2: My brother refused to do anything to help with the situation.

1158
00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:32,680
Speaker 2: He couldn't accept the house as legal next of kin

1159
00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:35,800
Speaker 2: because he would lose his benefits, so instead he refused

1160
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:38,839
Speaker 2: to help or sign anything at all. Since my mom

1161
00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:41,759
Speaker 2: signed that paper, she wasn't even entitled to half the

1162
00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:44,800
Speaker 2: house like she would have been under the state inheritance laws.

1163
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:47,000
Speaker 2: I can understand why he did it at the time,

1164
00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:49,640
Speaker 2: but he was so sneaky about it, and I think

1165
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:52,480
Speaker 2: that was so wrong. At the time, he was the

1166
00:53:52,520 --> 00:53:55,440
Speaker 2: only one working, he'd lost a lot in the divorce

1167
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:58,600
Speaker 2: he had with my brother's biological mom, and he was

1168
00:53:58,640 --> 00:54:01,640
Speaker 2: afraid of losing the house if anything happened between him

1169
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:04,759
Speaker 2: and my mom. What I cannot forgive is that he

1170
00:54:04,880 --> 00:54:08,360
Speaker 2: knew he was passing. He knew for years that he

1171
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:10,719
Speaker 2: wouldn't get better, but didn't try to fix what he

1172
00:54:10,760 --> 00:54:13,480
Speaker 2: had done. He could have come clean and admitted to

1173
00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:17,120
Speaker 2: what he'd done, but instead he just did nothing. My

1174
00:54:17,239 --> 00:54:20,279
Speaker 2: childhood home was foreclosed on because my brother refused to

1175
00:54:20,320 --> 00:54:22,880
Speaker 2: do anything about it, and my mom had no access

1176
00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:25,520
Speaker 2: to any of the information and she didn't have the

1177
00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:29,640
Speaker 2: money to buy it outright. Wow, I can definitely understand

1178
00:54:29,680 --> 00:54:32,600
Speaker 2: this completely changing your opinion of somebody.

1179
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:40,040
Speaker 1: So really quick. Op stepdad took out OPI's mom sneakily because.

1180
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:42,399
Speaker 2: He was paranoid that it was like they would get

1181
00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:44,399
Speaker 2: divorced and then she'd like it would be a bad

1182
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:46,960
Speaker 2: one and she'd take the house. He was pre emptying,

1183
00:54:47,360 --> 00:54:49,759
Speaker 2: or they were having like a fight or something like.

1184
00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:53,120
Speaker 1: I don't know, surprising that after that went that blew

1185
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:56,359
Speaker 1: over that he didn't go and change that. Maybe he

1186
00:54:56,400 --> 00:54:58,160
Speaker 1: was worried that she would catch it, you know, I

1187
00:54:58,200 --> 00:54:58,480
Speaker 1: don't know.

1188
00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:00,680
Speaker 2: Maybe he thought the brother would take care of or

1189
00:55:00,760 --> 00:55:04,160
Speaker 2: his son, but the son did absolutely nothing. I mean,

1190
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:07,080
Speaker 2: I guess once you do that, now you're living the lie.

1191
00:55:07,719 --> 00:55:09,480
Speaker 2: And now you can't just be like, hey, I'm just

1192
00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:12,680
Speaker 2: gonna undo this, Hey can you sign this document again.

1193
00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:15,040
Speaker 1: It's not the worst thing that we've ever seen happen,

1194
00:55:15,120 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 1: but it's also not great. And I can see how

1195
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:23,640
Speaker 1: seeing this action would color every other small slight being

1196
00:55:23,680 --> 00:55:25,719
Speaker 1: like what else is he hiding? You know, because this

1197
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:28,279
Speaker 1: is like this almost seems out of character based on

1198
00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:29,560
Speaker 1: everything that we've heard about this guy.

1199
00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:33,560
Speaker 2: I feel like the way I saw my dad has changed.

1200
00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:33,960
Speaker 3: Now.

1201
00:55:34,120 --> 00:55:36,279
Speaker 2: While I still love him, my view of him has

1202
00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:38,880
Speaker 2: been tarnished a bit. The more I look at the past,

1203
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:41,719
Speaker 2: the more moments I realized that he wasn't really the

1204
00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:44,640
Speaker 2: man I thought he was. I'll never get that back,

1205
00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:47,359
Speaker 2: and it devastates me. And there's an edit. I fixed

1206
00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:49,320
Speaker 2: a couple errors in the post, and I want to

1207
00:55:49,360 --> 00:55:52,000
Speaker 2: clarify a few things. My dad was not in hospice,

1208
00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:54,400
Speaker 2: and he was not in the hospital when he passed.

1209
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:57,480
Speaker 2: He had an autoimmune disease that was being treated with chemo,

1210
00:55:57,760 --> 00:56:01,480
Speaker 2: but he did not have cancer. My mom was absent

1211
00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:04,520
Speaker 2: a lot of my childhood. That was not really anything

1212
00:56:04,640 --> 00:56:07,400
Speaker 2: against her. I had the option of going with her

1213
00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:09,320
Speaker 2: to her friend's house or to visit my aunt or

1214
00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:12,279
Speaker 2: wherever she was going, but I didn't want to. It

1215
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:15,480
Speaker 2: was boring and I would have rather eaten fancy cheeses

1216
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:18,960
Speaker 2: at my dad's friend's houses than watching my mom play cards.

1217
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:21,319
Speaker 2: It helped that there were usually other kids at the

1218
00:56:21,360 --> 00:56:23,960
Speaker 2: places my dad was going, and if not, I liked

1219
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:26,520
Speaker 2: his friends, and if I'm one hundred percent honest, he

1220
00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:29,000
Speaker 2: was just my favorite parent. My mom was there for

1221
00:56:29,080 --> 00:56:31,440
Speaker 2: my dad while he was sick, though he did not

1222
00:56:31,719 --> 00:56:34,440
Speaker 2: need her to be his caretaker. He actually told me

1223
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:37,719
Speaker 2: she wouldn't stop hovering. He liked his independence and he

1224
00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:40,680
Speaker 2: never actually lost that, though my mom was a bit

1225
00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:43,080
Speaker 2: more of a mother hen he could drive and walk

1226
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:45,160
Speaker 2: with the assistance of a cane until the end of

1227
00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:48,160
Speaker 2: his life. I really don't like the comments bashing my mom.

1228
00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:50,800
Speaker 2: I agree she was stupid for signing those things without

1229
00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:53,080
Speaker 2: reading them, and there was more she could have done.

1230
00:56:53,320 --> 00:56:55,280
Speaker 2: But she was a good mom and she was probably

1231
00:56:55,360 --> 00:56:59,800
Speaker 2: just trusting her husband. Which, by the way, I trust

1232
00:56:59,880 --> 00:57:03,480
Speaker 2: that all of you will tune in every weekday at

1233
00:57:03,520 --> 00:57:08,440
Speaker 2: three pm PST to catch our live stream on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok,

1234
00:57:08,480 --> 00:57:11,120
Speaker 2: and Twitch. Just tap on our profile and you're in.

1235
00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:13,719
Speaker 2: You might even be live right now. So before we

1236
00:57:13,800 --> 00:57:16,200
Speaker 2: finish this story, because there's a little bit story left,

1237
00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:18,920
Speaker 2: I think we collect our thoughts a little bit on

1238
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:23,440
Speaker 2: this mysterious situation. Why did he not put the house

1239
00:57:23,560 --> 00:57:25,200
Speaker 2: back in his wife's name.

1240
00:57:25,280 --> 00:57:27,560
Speaker 1: I think, like what you said earlier about the brother

1241
00:57:27,720 --> 00:57:30,520
Speaker 1: maybe taking care of it, maybe he thought it would

1242
00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:33,720
Speaker 1: be fine. Maybe it was like he did it once

1243
00:57:33,960 --> 00:57:35,880
Speaker 1: out of fear and didn't want to get caught in

1244
00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:41,280
Speaker 1: the lie. Though, like the examples op brought up don't

1245
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:44,200
Speaker 1: feel the same as what he did.

1246
00:57:44,280 --> 00:57:44,480
Speaker 3: Hear.

1247
00:57:44,760 --> 00:57:47,160
Speaker 1: My read on this is this is like if there's

1248
00:57:47,200 --> 00:57:52,000
Speaker 1: not other examples, this feels like one bad, scared decision

1249
00:57:52,200 --> 00:57:57,320
Speaker 1: rather than a fully emblematic action that shows his character.

1250
00:57:57,480 --> 00:57:59,000
Speaker 1: But I would love to hear what the end of

1251
00:57:59,000 --> 00:57:59,880
Speaker 1: the story.

1252
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:02,520
Speaker 2: To get into this. I didn't mean to imply that

1253
00:58:02,600 --> 00:58:05,360
Speaker 2: my mom was never there to parent me or involved

1254
00:58:05,360 --> 00:58:07,800
Speaker 2: in my life. I just meant that if we had

1255
00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:10,040
Speaker 2: nothing going on, she was not going to be sitting

1256
00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:12,320
Speaker 2: in the house watching TV. She did take us to

1257
00:58:12,360 --> 00:58:14,680
Speaker 2: do plenty. There were things she did with us that

1258
00:58:14,760 --> 00:58:17,600
Speaker 2: my dad didn't like, taking us swimming every summer. Dad

1259
00:58:17,600 --> 00:58:20,240
Speaker 2: couldn't swim and rarely ever got into the water, and

1260
00:58:20,320 --> 00:58:23,120
Speaker 2: riding all the roller coasters with us at the amusement park.

1261
00:58:23,440 --> 00:58:25,720
Speaker 2: She would take us to visit cousins and aunts and

1262
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:28,400
Speaker 2: uncles on her side. She just never liked being stuck

1263
00:58:28,400 --> 00:58:31,600
Speaker 2: in the house without any interaction with other adults. And

1264
00:58:31,640 --> 00:58:34,280
Speaker 2: that is the end. There's a little clad on there

1265
00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:36,280
Speaker 2: about mom's tendencies.

1266
00:58:36,400 --> 00:58:39,640
Speaker 1: Opie's stepdad brought papers to Opie's mom with Mom thinking

1267
00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:42,520
Speaker 1: there were mortgage papers, but they were papers to forfeit

1268
00:58:42,880 --> 00:58:45,200
Speaker 1: any right to the house. Is that not illegal?

1269
00:58:45,360 --> 00:58:48,200
Speaker 2: Probably? Yeah, it probably is illegal. But at the same time,

1270
00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:51,400
Speaker 2: if you sign a document that you had the ability

1271
00:58:51,440 --> 00:58:53,360
Speaker 2: to read and it just didn't read it, I don't

1272
00:58:53,360 --> 00:58:55,760
Speaker 2: know if that's like a loophole or what, but it

1273
00:58:55,800 --> 00:58:57,360
Speaker 2: is crazy. This is just one of those things. I mean,

1274
00:58:57,400 --> 00:59:00,640
Speaker 2: sometimes one action can undo like a lifetime. I'm of

1275
00:59:00,680 --> 00:59:03,040
Speaker 2: good actions because now this one thing is going to

1276
00:59:03,120 --> 00:59:05,120
Speaker 2: be at the forefront of OPI's mind.

1277
00:59:05,080 --> 00:59:08,560
Speaker 1: And especially you know, it's like I think diving into

1278
00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:12,920
Speaker 1: that one action won't define you if you try to

1279
00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:14,400
Speaker 1: make that right.

1280
00:59:14,800 --> 00:59:17,280
Speaker 2: But again, it's at that point, you know, maybe his

1281
00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:21,280
Speaker 2: head's not clear enough to remember. Chemo's a nasty cocktail stuff.

1282
00:59:21,320 --> 00:59:24,320
Speaker 2: Man Chimo really messes you up here. It's John e

1283
00:59:24,400 --> 00:59:25,000
Speaker 2: og Host here.

1284
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:26,040
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories.

1285
00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:27,640
Speaker 2: But here's a quick three minute break of ass from

1286
00:59:27,680 --> 00:59:28,440
Speaker 2: our sponsors.

1287
00:59:28,800 --> 00:59:32,000
Speaker 1: My mother is a narcissist, so I'm planning to cut

1288
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:34,040
Speaker 1: her off for my pregnancy.

1289
00:59:34,320 --> 00:59:36,480
Speaker 2: Ooh, snip snip, little bit.

1290
00:59:36,800 --> 00:59:40,280
Speaker 1: What I've been really struggling with this one. I'm thirty

1291
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:43,680
Speaker 1: nine female, I'm an only child, and growing up with

1292
00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:46,960
Speaker 1: my mother was very difficult. On one hand, she always

1293
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:49,640
Speaker 1: made sure I was well dressed. We had a clean house,

1294
00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:52,720
Speaker 1: and she cooked meals every day. She made sure I

1295
00:59:52,800 --> 00:59:55,080
Speaker 1: was well presented when she sent me off to school

1296
00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:57,160
Speaker 1: and by the way, this comes from Kitty and Puppy

1297
00:59:57,200 --> 01:00:01,520
Speaker 1: Mama on the r slash Okay story time Subredditsel the

1298
01:00:01,600 --> 01:00:05,080
Speaker 1: other hand, she treated me like her little punching bag.

1299
01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:07,960
Speaker 1: It never seemed to view me as a real person.

1300
01:00:08,440 --> 01:00:11,960
Speaker 1: All my childhood memories are of her screaming at me,

1301
01:00:12,520 --> 01:00:16,160
Speaker 1: slamming doors, throwing my nice toys in the trash when

1302
01:00:16,160 --> 01:00:18,200
Speaker 1: she was mad at me, telling me to shut up

1303
01:00:18,240 --> 01:00:22,840
Speaker 1: and go away, embarrassing me by screaming and I mean

1304
01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:26,680
Speaker 1: screaming at me when I had friends over or when

1305
01:00:26,680 --> 01:00:30,200
Speaker 1: she wasn't doing this, ignoring my existence entirely.

1306
01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:35,760
Speaker 2: That doesn't sound very mom like. That sounds terrible. I

1307
01:00:35,760 --> 01:00:37,320
Speaker 2: wish I could have been your mom. I'd be a

1308
01:00:37,320 --> 01:00:38,080
Speaker 2: better mom than that.

1309
01:00:38,800 --> 01:00:41,680
Speaker 1: I never know what I'd do wrong, but I was

1310
01:00:41,840 --> 01:00:45,000
Speaker 1: always punished. It was calm for me to come home

1311
01:00:45,040 --> 01:00:47,760
Speaker 1: from school say hi, Mom. I'd be back with a

1312
01:00:47,880 --> 01:00:50,920
Speaker 1: cold glare, and then to be told I know what

1313
01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:54,840
Speaker 1: I did no further explanation. One example is that it

1314
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:57,240
Speaker 1: was Christmas vacation. I was home for a week. My

1315
01:00:57,360 --> 01:01:00,280
Speaker 1: dad had also taken time off from work. My mom

1316
01:01:00,320 --> 01:01:03,480
Speaker 1: was decorating the house and she lost the container the

1317
01:01:03,560 --> 01:01:08,200
Speaker 1: tree angel came in. She immediately accused me and my

1318
01:01:08,360 --> 01:01:13,280
Speaker 1: dad of conspiring to hide it from her as a prank.

1319
01:01:13,560 --> 01:01:16,120
Speaker 1: When we both swore we didn't have it, she flew

1320
01:01:16,240 --> 01:01:21,200
Speaker 1: into a rage, slamming cabinets, vacuumum when we were trying

1321
01:01:21,200 --> 01:01:24,400
Speaker 1: to watch TV, making both of us afraid to cross

1322
01:01:24,400 --> 01:01:27,440
Speaker 1: hero out. Eventually she found the container, which had fallen

1323
01:01:27,480 --> 01:01:30,600
Speaker 1: behind some other stuff in the closet. She did not apologize,

1324
01:01:30,800 --> 01:01:33,600
Speaker 1: she still insisted we must have done it, So this

1325
01:01:33,800 --> 01:01:35,960
Speaker 1: is just an example of the kind of stuff I

1326
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:39,240
Speaker 1: grew up with. Then she go to church or picnics

1327
01:01:39,320 --> 01:01:42,440
Speaker 1: or whatever, smile at everyone and tell them all how

1328
01:01:42,760 --> 01:01:46,240
Speaker 1: proud she is of me and how happy we all are.

1329
01:01:46,360 --> 01:01:48,720
Speaker 1: I hate the posturing, And as soon as I got home,

1330
01:01:48,840 --> 01:01:50,840
Speaker 1: this nice mom was gone and she was back to

1331
01:01:50,880 --> 01:01:53,760
Speaker 1: stonewalling and snapping at me. So not that my mom

1332
01:01:53,760 --> 01:01:56,800
Speaker 1: has never done anything nice or caring. Sometimes she has,

1333
01:01:57,080 --> 01:01:59,960
Speaker 1: but always makes me very cautious because I've seen how

1334
01:02:00,160 --> 01:02:03,120
Speaker 1: she uses it later as something she can take away.

1335
01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:05,880
Speaker 1: And when I was in college my dad passed away,

1336
01:02:06,160 --> 01:02:09,600
Speaker 1: she immediately, and I mean the same day, started going

1337
01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:13,120
Speaker 1: through the closet and throwing his clothes in the trash.

1338
01:02:13,200 --> 01:02:16,880
Speaker 1: I was screaming, crying, begging her to stop. She told

1339
01:02:16,920 --> 01:02:18,280
Speaker 1: me to shut up and go to my room. I

1340
01:02:18,320 --> 01:02:20,120
Speaker 1: was giving her a headache. You never help with the

1341
01:02:20,120 --> 01:02:22,720
Speaker 1: funeral and left me, as a young adult, to do

1342
01:02:22,760 --> 01:02:25,240
Speaker 1: it myself. After the funeral, we all went out with

1343
01:02:25,320 --> 01:02:28,080
Speaker 1: extended family to get a little lunch. She criticized what

1344
01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:30,360
Speaker 1: I ate and told me I was unhealthy and would

1345
01:02:30,360 --> 01:02:34,000
Speaker 1: get fat. So again, just an example of what I've

1346
01:02:34,080 --> 01:02:37,040
Speaker 1: dealt with all my life. There's a lot more, but

1347
01:02:37,080 --> 01:02:38,560
Speaker 1: we'd be here all day.

1348
01:02:38,840 --> 01:02:43,160
Speaker 2: So just quickly, if anyone you know finds themselves in

1349
01:02:43,200 --> 01:02:46,800
Speaker 2: a situation like this, get away from this person, especially

1350
01:02:46,840 --> 01:02:49,560
Speaker 2: if you're still like under the age of eighteen, like

1351
01:02:49,840 --> 01:02:52,200
Speaker 2: find a support, find a family member, find someone you

1352
01:02:52,200 --> 01:02:55,720
Speaker 2: can confide in, because this intense negative behavior is not acceptable.

1353
01:02:55,800 --> 01:02:57,920
Speaker 2: It's not okay, and you don't have to put up

1354
01:02:57,960 --> 01:03:00,440
Speaker 2: with it just because you fell into this situation.

1355
01:03:00,400 --> 01:03:02,800
Speaker 1: And this is not normal behavior. I think something that's

1356
01:03:02,840 --> 01:03:05,680
Speaker 1: really hard about being child raised in this kind of

1357
01:03:05,760 --> 01:03:09,200
Speaker 1: environment is it's hard to know what's normal. It's hard

1358
01:03:09,200 --> 01:03:12,560
Speaker 1: to know that, like you know, being yelled at all

1359
01:03:12,560 --> 01:03:15,439
Speaker 1: the time is not what everyone experiences because the only

1360
01:03:15,600 --> 01:03:17,400
Speaker 1: ever experience like what you know at home.

1361
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:19,680
Speaker 2: And that's why stories like this could be really powerful

1362
01:03:19,680 --> 01:03:21,760
Speaker 2: because it allows people to go, wait a minute, that

1363
01:03:21,880 --> 01:03:24,120
Speaker 2: sounds like what I go through, But they're saying that

1364
01:03:24,200 --> 01:03:25,520
Speaker 2: this is not normal.

1365
01:03:25,600 --> 01:03:29,040
Speaker 1: Hmmm, it's very important. But now we're gonna go onto

1366
01:03:29,040 --> 01:03:32,040
Speaker 1: the dad. So my dad was super peaceful, a kind

1367
01:03:32,120 --> 01:03:34,680
Speaker 1: person who loved my mom, even though I truly believe

1368
01:03:34,960 --> 01:03:38,440
Speaker 1: she doesn't have the capability to love anyone but herself.

1369
01:03:38,640 --> 01:03:41,920
Speaker 1: I've seen her treat everyone I care about monstrously. She

1370
01:03:41,960 --> 01:03:45,200
Speaker 1: didn't even show up when her own parents were in

1371
01:03:45,400 --> 01:03:50,560
Speaker 1: hospice dying, and her reason is they know why. I

1372
01:03:50,600 --> 01:03:53,320
Speaker 1: don't know why. Her siblings don't know why, and I

1373
01:03:53,360 --> 01:03:59,160
Speaker 1: am one hundred percent sure they passed away not knowing why.

1374
01:03:59,280 --> 01:04:01,720
Speaker 1: She has no rom there. There's no regrets about this.

1375
01:04:02,080 --> 01:04:06,080
Speaker 1: And even though my dad did everything to make her

1376
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:08,560
Speaker 1: happy and I never yelled back, and he tried to

1377
01:04:08,560 --> 01:04:10,880
Speaker 1: give her what she wanted, all she has to say

1378
01:04:10,880 --> 01:04:13,360
Speaker 1: about him now is what an a hole he was.

1379
01:04:13,840 --> 01:04:18,200
Speaker 1: She makes up stories about him being a booziolic, which

1380
01:04:18,200 --> 01:04:22,000
Speaker 1: he wasn't. He didn't even drink socially, and abusive, which

1381
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:25,200
Speaker 1: again I promise he never was. With a gambling problem.

1382
01:04:25,320 --> 01:04:28,120
Speaker 1: He didn't gamble either. Because my dad has been gone

1383
01:04:28,200 --> 01:04:30,160
Speaker 1: for so many years. She makes new friends at church

1384
01:04:30,240 --> 01:04:32,800
Speaker 1: or in social circles that makes up whatever lies she

1385
01:04:32,840 --> 01:04:35,520
Speaker 1: wants about how close we are we aren't, and how

1386
01:04:35,560 --> 01:04:38,800
Speaker 1: she was a single widowed mom struggling to put me

1387
01:04:38,840 --> 01:04:41,800
Speaker 1: through college she never gave a dime I to pay

1388
01:04:41,800 --> 01:04:44,840
Speaker 1: my loans, books, courses, et cetera, one, one hundred percent

1389
01:04:45,240 --> 01:04:48,960
Speaker 1: by myself, and also how bad her marriage was. She

1390
01:04:49,000 --> 01:04:50,840
Speaker 1: doesn't tell these lives in front of me because she'd

1391
01:04:50,840 --> 01:04:52,800
Speaker 1: be embarrassed if I called her out, but they get

1392
01:04:52,840 --> 01:04:55,040
Speaker 1: back to me through the grape vine, and she denies

1393
01:04:55,080 --> 01:04:57,760
Speaker 1: it when I confront her. The hard truth is that

1394
01:04:57,800 --> 01:05:01,280
Speaker 1: she never just seemed to care about now anyone, much

1395
01:05:01,400 --> 01:05:03,800
Speaker 1: less me. She'll take me to lunch in a movie,

1396
01:05:03,840 --> 01:05:06,400
Speaker 1: buy me a cute gift now, and then say she

1397
01:05:06,480 --> 01:05:08,960
Speaker 1: loves me. And I really cling to these moments and

1398
01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:11,520
Speaker 1: try to believe them, but our whole relationship depends on

1399
01:05:11,600 --> 01:05:14,600
Speaker 1: me just pretending that my entire life with her never

1400
01:05:14,680 --> 01:05:18,280
Speaker 1: happened and accepting that she'll never take accountability. I want

1401
01:05:18,280 --> 01:05:21,920
Speaker 1: to stop right here really quick, and there's more of

1402
01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:24,000
Speaker 1: the story about halfway through, but I want to ask

1403
01:05:24,040 --> 01:05:26,880
Speaker 1: a question. In this scenario where you have a mom

1404
01:05:26,920 --> 01:05:30,440
Speaker 1: that was so terrible, so abusive, and now we have

1405
01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:34,600
Speaker 1: this change that seems actually pretty good, do we accept

1406
01:05:34,640 --> 01:05:35,720
Speaker 1: the change? Well?

1407
01:05:35,840 --> 01:05:38,680
Speaker 2: I feel like the change is all built on the

1408
01:05:38,720 --> 01:05:42,920
Speaker 2: pretext that you have to never bring up the past

1409
01:05:43,480 --> 01:05:45,760
Speaker 2: and the reality that you lived in. You can't press

1410
01:05:45,800 --> 01:05:48,120
Speaker 2: her on anything because as soon as you do, it's

1411
01:05:48,120 --> 01:05:50,680
Speaker 2: going to rivert right back to this. So if you

1412
01:05:50,760 --> 01:05:54,080
Speaker 2: do maintain this sort of above board, I guess I

1413
01:05:54,120 --> 01:05:55,800
Speaker 2: don't know if that's the right phrase, but just sort

1414
01:05:55,840 --> 01:05:59,000
Speaker 2: of like it's managing the appearance of the relationship, you're

1415
01:05:59,080 --> 01:06:01,480
Speaker 2: just on auto being like, I know I can't say this,

1416
01:06:01,520 --> 01:06:03,800
Speaker 2: I know I can't say that. I definitely can't press this.

1417
01:06:04,360 --> 01:06:06,440
Speaker 2: I don't think that she's changed up in a real way.

1418
01:06:06,800 --> 01:06:09,040
Speaker 2: Who knows why she's operating that way.

1419
01:06:08,880 --> 01:06:12,560
Speaker 1: By read on this, like, is she realized the air

1420
01:06:12,640 --> 01:06:16,200
Speaker 1: of her ways without accepting the responsibility of her actions.

1421
01:06:16,440 --> 01:06:19,320
Speaker 1: That's my read. It's like, all right, frick, Like I

1422
01:06:19,400 --> 01:06:21,800
Speaker 1: realize I need to be better to my daughter, Like

1423
01:06:21,840 --> 01:06:23,240
Speaker 1: this is a person that I want my life. So

1424
01:06:23,240 --> 01:06:25,960
Speaker 1: I'm gonna actually start treating her well outside of like

1425
01:06:26,040 --> 01:06:28,480
Speaker 1: just treating her well for appearances, Because now she's treating

1426
01:06:28,480 --> 01:06:31,520
Speaker 1: her well in this one on one relationship, no longer

1427
01:06:31,560 --> 01:06:33,760
Speaker 1: just treating her well in like a social dynamic where

1428
01:06:33,800 --> 01:06:37,280
Speaker 1: she can win favor with friends. She is realizing that

1429
01:06:37,320 --> 01:06:40,720
Speaker 1: she needs a change and like treat ope better, but

1430
01:06:40,800 --> 01:06:43,120
Speaker 1: she's not willing to accept the responsibility, and so she's

1431
01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:45,840
Speaker 1: kind of building this new relationship a little bit on

1432
01:06:46,640 --> 01:06:51,240
Speaker 1: a lie or like unstable ground. But I do think

1433
01:06:51,400 --> 01:06:53,920
Speaker 1: that she might actually want to be changing for the better.

1434
01:06:53,920 --> 01:06:55,280
Speaker 1: I would love to know what you guys think. So

1435
01:06:55,720 --> 01:06:58,040
Speaker 1: if I try to bring up something she's done, she'll

1436
01:06:58,040 --> 01:07:00,520
Speaker 1: look me straight in the eye and that it never

1437
01:07:00,560 --> 01:07:03,040
Speaker 1: happened that or she'll say it was my fault she

1438
01:07:03,120 --> 01:07:05,920
Speaker 1: did it. So I'm in my third trimester of pregnancy

1439
01:07:06,120 --> 01:07:09,960
Speaker 1: right now with a daughter of my own, and my

1440
01:07:10,120 --> 01:07:14,000
Speaker 1: mom was initially so excited. She took me to my

1441
01:07:14,040 --> 01:07:16,520
Speaker 1: doctor visits and was helping me out with things around

1442
01:07:16,520 --> 01:07:18,960
Speaker 1: my house since my doctors told me not to handle

1443
01:07:18,960 --> 01:07:20,880
Speaker 1: the cat letter or do any heavy lifting. It's a

1444
01:07:20,920 --> 01:07:23,360
Speaker 1: high risk pregnancy due to a few factors, but thankfully

1445
01:07:23,360 --> 01:07:25,160
Speaker 1: the baby and I have been pretty healthy so far.

1446
01:07:25,480 --> 01:07:29,919
Speaker 1: Well about three weeks ago, I wasn't feeling the baby move.

1447
01:07:30,360 --> 01:07:32,640
Speaker 1: I got really worried called my mom to ask if

1448
01:07:32,640 --> 01:07:34,200
Speaker 1: she could take me to the er so I could

1449
01:07:34,200 --> 01:07:38,560
Speaker 1: get checked. She got super exasperated, called me crazy, told

1450
01:07:38,600 --> 01:07:41,760
Speaker 1: me I was being ridiculous, and no, she wouldn't give

1451
01:07:41,800 --> 01:07:44,080
Speaker 1: me a ride because she was busy cleaning her kitchen.

1452
01:07:44,320 --> 01:07:47,360
Speaker 2: Kitchen's more important baby. This mom is getting the number fourteen,

1453
01:07:47,880 --> 01:07:50,760
Speaker 2: the combo order number fourteen. You go through the sun,

1454
01:07:51,240 --> 01:07:53,800
Speaker 2: get blended up in the Orc cloud, Your little bits

1455
01:07:53,800 --> 01:07:55,960
Speaker 2: and bops get thrown into the black hole where they

1456
01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:59,520
Speaker 2: become spaghetti, and then you get eaten by a bunch

1457
01:07:59,600 --> 01:08:02,240
Speaker 2: of pigs. Pigs who were actually taken care of by

1458
01:08:02,280 --> 01:08:03,840
Speaker 2: the ghost of James Gandolfini.

1459
01:08:03,920 --> 01:08:06,360
Speaker 1: I was going to call another family member to come

1460
01:08:06,400 --> 01:08:08,680
Speaker 1: with me, but she'd made me feel so embarrassed that

1461
01:08:08,720 --> 01:08:10,600
Speaker 1: I wondered if I was really being silly, and I

1462
01:08:10,600 --> 01:08:14,840
Speaker 1: decided not to bother anyone. I jum myself to the er,

1463
01:08:15,280 --> 01:08:17,400
Speaker 1: and I was so stressed that my blood pressure was

1464
01:08:17,400 --> 01:08:18,800
Speaker 1: going through the roof and they had to take it

1465
01:08:18,920 --> 01:08:23,720
Speaker 1: several times because they thought it indicated another emergency. The

1466
01:08:23,840 --> 01:08:26,920
Speaker 1: team at the er took me seriously, did an autral sound,

1467
01:08:27,000 --> 01:08:29,680
Speaker 1: and showed me that everything was all right with the

1468
01:08:29,760 --> 01:08:32,360
Speaker 1: baby and everything was okay. They advised me to go

1469
01:08:32,439 --> 01:08:34,559
Speaker 1: right to the hospital next time because they have better

1470
01:08:34,600 --> 01:08:37,559
Speaker 1: equipment and will admit me faster. Later, when I talked

1471
01:08:37,560 --> 01:08:40,720
Speaker 1: to my ob, she also told me that they do

1472
01:08:40,800 --> 01:08:43,559
Speaker 1: take our concerns seriously and it's always okay to get

1473
01:08:43,640 --> 01:08:46,639
Speaker 1: checked out. This all helped me to feel less crazy.

1474
01:08:46,960 --> 01:08:50,160
Speaker 1: When I got home, my mom texted to ask how

1475
01:08:50,280 --> 01:08:54,720
Speaker 1: it went. This honestly piss me off because she embarrassed

1476
01:08:54,720 --> 01:08:56,599
Speaker 1: me when I asked for help let me go through

1477
01:08:56,760 --> 01:08:59,760
Speaker 1: all that stress alone, and wanted to ask how it

1478
01:08:59,760 --> 01:09:02,560
Speaker 1: went after the fact. I told her that her behavior

1479
01:09:02,800 --> 01:09:06,000
Speaker 1: was extremely hurtful and that she's been treating me like

1480
01:09:06,040 --> 01:09:08,960
Speaker 1: this all my life and I don't know why I

1481
01:09:09,080 --> 01:09:12,280
Speaker 1: keep hoping it will change anyway. That was three weeks ago,

1482
01:09:12,600 --> 01:09:15,880
Speaker 1: and she has been giving me the silent treatment ever since.

1483
01:09:16,200 --> 01:09:18,840
Speaker 1: She was previously coming over to help me with heavy

1484
01:09:18,880 --> 01:09:21,439
Speaker 1: lifting the trash and the cat litter. Again, not supposed

1485
01:09:21,479 --> 01:09:23,679
Speaker 1: to handle that when you're pregnant because Katfeeess can harm

1486
01:09:23,720 --> 01:09:26,760
Speaker 1: the baby and usually picks up a couple little things

1487
01:09:26,760 --> 01:09:28,679
Speaker 1: for me at the store when she does her shopping,

1488
01:09:28,800 --> 01:09:33,160
Speaker 1: but hasn't done any of that either. I'm being punished

1489
01:09:33,439 --> 01:09:37,559
Speaker 1: for having feelings and being an entire human being. I've

1490
01:09:37,600 --> 01:09:40,720
Speaker 1: never felt like your treatment was normal growing up. She

1491
01:09:40,880 --> 01:09:44,280
Speaker 1: always told me I was a problem child and made

1492
01:09:44,360 --> 01:09:47,479
Speaker 1: her act this way. Meanwhile, my aunt, uncles, cousins and

1493
01:09:47,560 --> 01:09:49,880
Speaker 1: dad all had a great relationship with me and never

1494
01:09:49,920 --> 01:09:51,679
Speaker 1: made me feel this way because it's not your fault.

1495
01:09:51,800 --> 01:09:53,920
Speaker 1: How could it be that my mother thinks I'm so

1496
01:09:54,160 --> 01:09:57,160
Speaker 1: horrendous but nobody else in my life has ever expressed

1497
01:09:57,160 --> 01:09:58,599
Speaker 1: this to me. It doesn't add up.

1498
01:09:59,040 --> 01:10:02,320
Speaker 2: Well, France and your pants will have the answer for that,

1499
01:10:02,479 --> 01:10:05,600
Speaker 2: but I will just blanket it as that's a mental illness,

1500
01:10:05,760 --> 01:10:08,960
Speaker 2: and you were conditioned to feel a certain way by

1501
01:10:09,720 --> 01:10:12,920
Speaker 2: you know, being brought up being told like the way

1502
01:10:13,080 --> 01:10:15,680
Speaker 2: I'm acting right now is your fault. Of course you're

1503
01:10:15,680 --> 01:10:17,280
Speaker 2: always going to say, what is it that I'm doing?

1504
01:10:17,400 --> 01:10:19,120
Speaker 1: It doesn't add out. The other day I was running

1505
01:10:19,240 --> 01:10:21,720
Speaker 1: errands and talking to my unborn baby in the car

1506
01:10:21,760 --> 01:10:24,240
Speaker 1: as one does little that's cute. I just kept thinking

1507
01:10:24,280 --> 01:10:27,559
Speaker 1: how excited I am to meet her, how scared I

1508
01:10:27,640 --> 01:10:30,439
Speaker 1: am about making sure she arrives safely in the delivery room,

1509
01:10:30,640 --> 01:10:33,160
Speaker 1: and how there is no way I could ever hurt

1510
01:10:33,160 --> 01:10:35,920
Speaker 1: her the way my mom hurts me, not just once,

1511
01:10:36,280 --> 01:10:41,080
Speaker 1: but hundreds of times over almost forty years. I can't

1512
01:10:41,080 --> 01:10:43,320
Speaker 1: imagine throwing her toys in the trash or not speaking

1513
01:10:43,360 --> 01:10:45,799
Speaker 1: to her for weeks at the time. This is really

1514
01:10:46,400 --> 01:10:49,559
Speaker 1: really not okay. If your child grows up feeling unloved

1515
01:10:49,560 --> 01:10:52,479
Speaker 1: by you, then can you really say you love them?

1516
01:10:52,680 --> 01:10:55,200
Speaker 1: To me, that seems like a failure. And you know,

1517
01:10:55,280 --> 01:10:58,240
Speaker 1: we love all our children that come into our lives

1518
01:10:58,560 --> 01:11:03,240
Speaker 1: every weekday at three on BSD, right here on YouTube

1519
01:11:03,640 --> 01:11:07,360
Speaker 1: and Facebook, TikTok it Twitch, just have her profile come

1520
01:11:07,360 --> 01:11:08,960
Speaker 1: on in. There was a little bit more to this story,

1521
01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:11,720
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean, it's not your fault, Op, But

1522
01:11:11,840 --> 01:11:15,280
Speaker 1: at least you know Op knows what to avoid when

1523
01:11:15,320 --> 01:11:16,120
Speaker 1: dealing with their.

1524
01:11:16,040 --> 01:11:19,040
Speaker 2: Child, and I feel like that might be what caused

1525
01:11:19,080 --> 01:11:20,960
Speaker 2: Op to write all this in the first place, is

1526
01:11:20,960 --> 01:11:24,200
Speaker 2: because after having her child, she started to realize, like, Okay,

1527
01:11:24,200 --> 01:11:28,559
Speaker 2: there's no way my mom was behaving appropriately based on

1528
01:11:28,640 --> 01:11:31,759
Speaker 2: how I feel with my kid. Something was going on.

1529
01:11:31,720 --> 01:11:33,960
Speaker 1: And I imagine you know this, Like I feel like

1530
01:11:34,000 --> 01:11:37,839
Speaker 1: there's a lot of exploration of this relationship and Ope's

1531
01:11:37,840 --> 01:11:41,040
Speaker 1: self worth in this post, and you kind of feel

1532
01:11:41,080 --> 01:11:44,720
Speaker 1: like as she's writing it towards the end, she's like

1533
01:11:44,840 --> 01:11:48,960
Speaker 1: recontextualizing that view of herself. She's like, how could I

1534
01:11:49,080 --> 01:11:51,519
Speaker 1: be the problem? It's almost like she's asking it in

1535
01:11:51,560 --> 01:11:53,599
Speaker 1: writing it. It's like, how could I be the problem

1536
01:11:53,640 --> 01:11:55,640
Speaker 1: when all my aunts and uncles had a great relationship

1537
01:11:55,640 --> 01:11:58,639
Speaker 1: with me? And she's literally discovering this in the moment, which, again,

1538
01:11:58,760 --> 01:12:01,280
Speaker 1: like if you don't if you're not writing, you don't

1539
01:12:01,320 --> 01:12:04,559
Speaker 1: even have to write and post online. But like writing

1540
01:12:04,640 --> 01:12:07,760
Speaker 1: really allows you to like look at your thoughts in

1541
01:12:07,800 --> 01:12:10,960
Speaker 1: your brain with a little bit more accuracy, a little

1542
01:12:11,000 --> 01:12:14,799
Speaker 1: bit more objectivity, and it can be really really helpful.

1543
01:12:15,160 --> 01:12:17,479
Speaker 2: There's different ways to check in with yourself. But if

1544
01:12:17,520 --> 01:12:20,280
Speaker 2: I don't, like at least write like a little bit

1545
01:12:20,320 --> 01:12:23,680
Speaker 2: about what I'm thinking or what I'm feeling, like at

1546
01:12:23,760 --> 01:12:26,360
Speaker 2: least every other day. I try to do it every day,

1547
01:12:26,400 --> 01:12:28,599
Speaker 2: but if like, sometimes it'll slip for like a week

1548
01:12:28,720 --> 01:12:31,200
Speaker 2: or two, and then I'll just realize I don't even

1549
01:12:31,360 --> 01:12:33,519
Speaker 2: know what I'm thinking. I don't even know what's going

1550
01:12:33,520 --> 01:12:34,880
Speaker 2: on because I'm not writing it down.

1551
01:12:34,960 --> 01:12:37,120
Speaker 1: It's like clearing a house. It's like organizing your room.

1552
01:12:37,200 --> 01:12:39,759
Speaker 1: But we got a little bit more to the story.

1553
01:12:40,080 --> 01:12:44,200
Speaker 1: So I'm thinking of going full no contact with my mom.

1554
01:12:44,280 --> 01:12:47,559
Speaker 1: She is my only parent, and it's because nobody wants

1555
01:12:47,560 --> 01:12:50,040
Speaker 1: to go through life without parents. I don't care how

1556
01:12:50,080 --> 01:12:52,080
Speaker 1: old you are, but honestly, I don't know what to

1557
01:12:52,120 --> 01:12:54,320
Speaker 1: do anymore. I go back and forth, feeling guilty, but

1558
01:12:54,400 --> 01:12:57,960
Speaker 1: remembering that she has never once felt any guilt for

1559
01:12:58,080 --> 01:13:01,519
Speaker 1: how she treats me, and that she ever apologize no

1560
01:13:01,680 --> 01:13:04,240
Speaker 1: matter what she does. But somehow I always end up

1561
01:13:04,280 --> 01:13:07,200
Speaker 1: apologizing to keep the peace. I just feel like I'm

1562
01:13:07,240 --> 01:13:09,639
Speaker 1: losing my mind. You know, if this relationship is hurting

1563
01:13:09,680 --> 01:13:11,920
Speaker 1: you more than it's helping you, I don't know if

1564
01:13:11,920 --> 01:13:13,840
Speaker 1: it's a relationship that you need to keep close.

1565
01:13:14,040 --> 01:13:15,800
Speaker 2: And I don't think it's a relationship you would want

1566
01:13:15,800 --> 01:13:17,760
Speaker 2: for your child either. Your mom has not earned a

1567
01:13:17,800 --> 01:13:18,920
Speaker 2: relationship with your kid.