1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,520 Speaker 1: Go worker demands I take a paternity test because I 2 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:06,920 Speaker 1: boned his wife. But there's something huge he doesn't know. 3 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:13,520 Speaker 2: It's that mob dick is huge, that's so long along 4 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:16,680 Speaker 2: along and even though he bowed my wife, he didn't 5 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:21,919 Speaker 2: satisfy right, it never could you know. It's the motion 6 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,800 Speaker 2: of the ocean, as they say, exactly, you know, that's 7 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:27,880 Speaker 2: what I always say. Well, anyway, I was, I was, 8 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:32,199 Speaker 2: I was. I mean that is true, but from from uh, 9 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,920 Speaker 2: I was going from the perspective that OPI had a 10 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:39,760 Speaker 2: giant schlong Oh and this this bone toned man would 11 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 2: never fill the giant dick sized shoes that he left. 12 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:48,000 Speaker 2: What's a vienna sausage to a meat factory? Nothing? What's 13 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,920 Speaker 2: a what's a little what are those tiny little link ones? 14 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,400 Speaker 2: What's a I think that sausage link? The ones in 15 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 2: the candy sausage No, you know, like in cartoons or 16 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,520 Speaker 2: they have all those links like the tiny one. Yeah, 17 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,520 Speaker 2: I guess maybe it's just also sausage links with a 18 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 2: tiny sausage link. What's a tiny sausage lens? The tinyest sausage? 19 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 2: Or have you ever had Vienna sausages in a can? 20 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:12,839 Speaker 2: They're like this big oh right right, yeah, so the 21 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:16,760 Speaker 2: Vienna sausage to ops just like land you know what, 22 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:19,560 Speaker 2: you know how they like you know, it's like, what 23 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 2: if the meat fact the sausage factory makes Vienna sausages. Well, 24 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:29,360 Speaker 2: this guy's not no Vienna sausage factory. Wait fuck dude, Okay, 25 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,080 Speaker 2: this is like on topic, yeah, but kind of on 26 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:34,920 Speaker 2: topic because like with your analogy, you're basically like, what's 27 00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:38,800 Speaker 2: like a Vienna sausage to like potentially a thousand Vienna sausages, right, 28 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:42,679 Speaker 2: but he probably only has one Vienna sausage, right, maybe 29 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:46,400 Speaker 2: unless he was at the we spa this weekend because 30 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,960 Speaker 2: I saw I legit saw a dude with two penises. 31 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:56,280 Speaker 2: I'll tell you. I'll tell you that I went to 32 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:58,880 Speaker 2: a I went to a Korean spa and I saw 33 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:06,160 Speaker 2: a dude with two penis. My goodness. Okay, well that's wow, 34 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:10,000 Speaker 2: that's that's incredible. Ohright, so let's read the story. 35 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:12,760 Speaker 1: I don't know whether to laugh or cry over this 36 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:17,000 Speaker 1: entire situation that's unfolded in the past six weeks, much 37 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,359 Speaker 1: like Sam doesn't know whether to laugh or cry over 38 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:22,640 Speaker 1: his the sweet double Dong situation that I don't have 39 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:24,799 Speaker 1: another Oh dude, exactly right. 40 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:27,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, to a man in need, use what you can? 41 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:32,079 Speaker 1: You know, I twenty three male, have a coworker I've 42 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 1: been friends with for over four years pretty much since 43 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,960 Speaker 1: I started working at the factory that I'm still in 44 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 1: the sausage. 45 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:47,200 Speaker 2: Factory, Sage or is it a big Daddy Worcestershire. 46 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 1: Whatever those freaking German fucking dogs are you know what 47 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,960 Speaker 1: I'm talking about? That one just freaking wrinkly. It's got 48 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:58,240 Speaker 1: all them big old lumps in them. 49 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:03,920 Speaker 2: Or that blood sausage into It's just seem with beautiful 50 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 2: the world we've created the sausages. Yeah, the world, Sausage world, 51 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:21,720 Speaker 2: about world, Yeah, sausage world all day, all night. Bro. 52 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,040 Speaker 2: I'm just like, you know the machine that like spits 53 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 2: spits them out. I'm just like, oh have you ever 54 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:29,919 Speaker 2: seen that, that that meme or that that gift of 55 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 2: like that girl and it's just like throwing sausages right 56 00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 2: at her face? I have it. That's me. 57 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:43,560 Speaker 1: Robert thirty two Meal, also known as Dick Dick. Robert 58 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,400 Speaker 1: thirty two mail just at his first daughter, Chelsea, two 59 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 1: months old, after four boys. 60 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:54,200 Speaker 2: Dang, can't many boys putting that sausage to work. The boys. 61 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:55,800 Speaker 2: He's not wrapping that sausage. 62 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 1: That is an open sausage. The boys are dang near 63 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 1: carbon copies of him. Bleach, blonde hair, freckless skin. I 64 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:11,160 Speaker 1: swear to God they were just born with tans and 65 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 1: his high school sweetheart slash wife Danielle thirty two. Female 66 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:18,000 Speaker 1: is a tight curled redhead with freckles for days and 67 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:19,839 Speaker 1: burns like there's no tomorrow. 68 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:24,600 Speaker 2: Okay, classic blondie red head mix. Yep. Their daughter from 69 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,760 Speaker 2: the jump had a full head of red hair that's 70 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:29,840 Speaker 2: already starting to curl when I met her. She was 71 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:33,919 Speaker 2: two weeks old. Wait, just really quick quick question. Yeah, genetically, 72 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:37,160 Speaker 2: is it possible to have a redhead kid if you 73 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:42,800 Speaker 2: don't have two redhead parents? Almost I have to imagine. 74 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:45,840 Speaker 2: I have to imagine that it is possible. I have 75 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:49,080 Speaker 2: to imagine, Yeah, Drake's baby has blue eyes. Anything is possible, 76 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:54,720 Speaker 2: Anything is possible. Bro Okay, Drake looks like my honors genetics. 77 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:58,360 Speaker 2: But I know about like remember like in like fourth 78 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:04,120 Speaker 2: grade where you got like, yeah, I don't know. All 79 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 2: you need to know about genetics is that Drake is 80 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:11,599 Speaker 2: my father. That's all you need to know. Dismissed dismissed. 81 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,919 Speaker 2: When I met the baby, I gasped as a fellow 82 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:18,360 Speaker 2: redhead myself here with long curly red hair as well, 83 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:21,960 Speaker 2: and I said something along the lines of, omg, it 84 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,680 Speaker 2: finally happened. The red is alive. 85 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:29,720 Speaker 1: Just being dramatic and funny and whatnot. Robert goes, yeah, 86 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:33,280 Speaker 1: don't go bank on that, saying mud jeans are. 87 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 2: Strong, after all, his wife Danielle roll her eyes, and 88 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 2: I just shrugged it off as a weird joke at first, 89 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:43,160 Speaker 2: But the entire time I was there, he pretty much 90 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 2: kept going on about how his jeans would prevail man, 91 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:52,640 Speaker 2: sounding like he really is putting the German in that 92 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:56,560 Speaker 2: broughtworst right now. He is my genetics, he's worse, the 93 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 2: sure for the worst, my guy, My goodness. Also, I 94 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:02,720 Speaker 2: just look it up, and if he has a recessive 95 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:06,880 Speaker 2: gene that is a redhead, then he has the chance 96 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:10,080 Speaker 2: of having a red headed kid. But if he doesn't 97 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 2: have the red head, then he doesn't have a chance. 98 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,360 Speaker 2: Then then he doesn't have a chance. Interesting, Okay, good 99 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:19,360 Speaker 2: to know, Good to know. Genetics. Jump forward. Chelsea is 100 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:23,480 Speaker 2: now five weeks old, and for three weeks, every single 101 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:27,479 Speaker 2: day Robert would be complaining about how little of himself 102 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:30,600 Speaker 2: he sees in his daughter, how much of a stranger 103 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:33,800 Speaker 2: she is, for it that some days he's thinking he's 104 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:39,880 Speaker 2: looking at another person's baby. Oh, I believe he's leading 105 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:45,560 Speaker 2: the witness to understand. Mister Worcestershire, put your slong on 106 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:49,640 Speaker 2: the stand and say the ocean of meat? Did you? 107 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:53,840 Speaker 2: Did you not put sausage inside up my wife to 108 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 2: the meat for which it's firm and juicy? 109 00:06:58,600 --> 00:06:59,159 Speaker 3: Far all. 110 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:03,840 Speaker 2: Do you say instead of a pledge allegiance, I beat 111 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 2: thy meat. That's way better. I beat thy meat. So 112 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:16,560 Speaker 2: all the juices are squenched. What's the what's the uh? Uh? Rick? 113 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:22,520 Speaker 2: And already squashed all my meat? Juices for which it 114 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:26,960 Speaker 2: stands one dog overall, or maybe instead of which it 115 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:28,400 Speaker 2: stands for which it's erect. 116 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:33,800 Speaker 1: Oh God, Now Robert only ever seemed to want to 117 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:38,960 Speaker 1: complain to me about the only redhead hum After the 118 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,920 Speaker 1: fifth day in a row, I started trying to explain 119 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 1: how genetics work, pretty much saying that genes aren't going 120 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 1: to always drastically go one way or the other. 121 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:50,880 Speaker 2: It's true, I mean, the man could have a recessive 122 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:54,560 Speaker 2: gene ressive redhead gene exactly some R and R a 123 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 2: recessive sausage assessive. You do not want a recessive sauce. 124 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:07,040 Speaker 2: You know you want an excessive sausage, saying this is 125 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:12,800 Speaker 2: the excessive The Excessive Sausage podcast podcast name et SA 126 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:19,240 Speaker 2: featuring your favorite worthsishires, John and sand And it's just 127 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 2: like a long sausage, just like slapping on a table, 128 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:30,680 Speaker 2: just like one one can must be yea one can dream. 129 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,400 Speaker 1: Three days ago, Robert came into work just itching to 130 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:38,600 Speaker 1: get in an argument with everyone. Our mutual friend Jesse 131 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:41,559 Speaker 1: asked him what the f is his deal as he 132 00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:44,320 Speaker 1: was on his break after he shouted at another friend 133 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:47,679 Speaker 1: for just asking a work related question. He blew up, 134 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:51,439 Speaker 1: saying that he knows that Chelsea his baby, isn't his 135 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:55,360 Speaker 1: and his cheating salute of a wife just won't admit it, 136 00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:58,680 Speaker 1: and he knows exactly who she was around. 137 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:04,360 Speaker 2: How does he know cowly Bro's coming swinging. 138 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:08,040 Speaker 1: Just zero to one hundred, just insane. Then he looks 139 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:13,200 Speaker 1: over at me, points in the room. That is true, 140 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:17,440 Speaker 1: He points at me and yells to get my big 141 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:21,800 Speaker 1: old redhead butt outside. Really he's like, I feel like 142 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 1: he was like challenging to it, like a duel. It's 143 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:25,000 Speaker 1: like an animate show. 144 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:29,480 Speaker 2: I was like, I challenge you, you over my wife 145 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:34,640 Speaker 2: via sassage on sausage action, Yes, I want to see that, 146 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:37,040 Speaker 2: just slapping sausage. 147 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:45,440 Speaker 1: I asked why, and then he starts screaming I'm not stupid. 148 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,160 Speaker 1: I know you've been trying to kiss my butt to 149 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:50,880 Speaker 1: avoid this beat down all week. 150 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:56,840 Speaker 2: Okay, so sama guy asked really quick, like what would 151 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:59,800 Speaker 2: you do if you were our are the redhead are 152 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 2: or red redded? You know? Person here? Like what are 153 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:07,560 Speaker 2: you doing sausage on sausage? 154 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:07,959 Speaker 3: Like? 155 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,720 Speaker 2: Am I? Am I my size and strength? Or am 156 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:13,040 Speaker 2: I like more feeble? Like what's your power? 157 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:13,800 Speaker 3: You? 158 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:16,000 Speaker 2: But you have red hair, red curly hair. Yeah, I'm 159 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,719 Speaker 2: me with red hair. And how big is this guy? 160 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:18,600 Speaker 3: Uh? 161 00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:21,840 Speaker 2: Let's let's go average about five to nine, Like average 162 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 2: builds five to nine. I mean that's like I think 163 00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:32,760 Speaker 2: the American average. Okay, you ready, I'm standing ground. There's 164 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,319 Speaker 2: there's two things that are gonna happen, right right, all right. 165 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,920 Speaker 2: Either he does nothing and it looks like a little 166 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,679 Speaker 2: bitch and then everyone thinks I boned his wife and 167 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:47,599 Speaker 2: he backed down. Or two he swings punches me with 168 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:51,720 Speaker 2: his tiny little five nine fris and then I get 169 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 2: to sue the company for a ship ton of money. 170 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:58,719 Speaker 2: That's either way. I either I either look like the 171 00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:01,959 Speaker 2: badass of the office or I get a crap ton 172 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,959 Speaker 2: of money from a settlement. Wow. Win, fucking win. I'm 173 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:09,320 Speaker 2: standing on my ground. Honestly, I think he just figured 174 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:13,800 Speaker 2: it out, just cracked. Hey. I don't got much, but 175 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:18,640 Speaker 2: at least I got my ground. And and one final 176 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,520 Speaker 2: quick follow up question, do you think Opie did it? 177 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:26,600 Speaker 2: Do I think that he laid down that sausage? Hmmm? 178 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:29,880 Speaker 2: I'm gonna say like no, just because I get the 179 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:34,040 Speaker 2: vibe from what he has said before that he's kind 180 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:39,079 Speaker 2: of respectful, and so I don't think he actually did it. 181 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,000 Speaker 2: But I guld be wrong. I could be wrong. Maybe 182 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:46,199 Speaker 2: he's like, you know, respectful in the streets and sheets 183 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:50,720 Speaker 2: in the sheets, Oh god, sau it's just stripped everywhere, 184 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:58,600 Speaker 2: fresh out the rotissory of it, that rolling all day 185 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 2: hot for a hotter than a seven eleven from thee 186 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:17,319 Speaker 2: to it having juicy discharge, Oh god, ready to squasch 187 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 2: all over the place, just holding it in, ready to unleash. 188 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:25,520 Speaker 2: Oh god. Well, So what's the deal. What's the deal. Yeah, 189 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,200 Speaker 2: I have a little surprise for you, He says, uh, 190 00:12:29,559 --> 00:12:37,520 Speaker 2: I'm gay. Oh okay, okay, so most likely not the 191 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:41,800 Speaker 2: dude wife. Probably not the guy boning his wife. Probably 192 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:46,160 Speaker 2: not the guy, but his brother. Oh god, that's a 193 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:47,640 Speaker 2: different sausage situation. 194 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:53,559 Speaker 1: I have a male fiance. I have pride stickers car 195 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:57,319 Speaker 1: Bro bro Bro is like linked up with another sau 196 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:11,719 Speaker 1: We're just riding sausage, my sausage, your sausage. Is that 197 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,640 Speaker 1: the proposal went, Yeah. 198 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:16,160 Speaker 2: That's that's how it works. By the way, I'm an 199 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,840 Speaker 2: experts in the gay community. 200 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 1: How can I be homophobic? I love sausages. I have 201 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:25,400 Speaker 1: pride stickers all over my car. Outside of work, I 202 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:30,520 Speaker 1: am a parrot of colorfulness. Oh yes, I think it's all. 203 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,880 Speaker 2: Beard. I mean, you know, Harry, just to cover up 204 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:41,239 Speaker 2: the fact that, to be honest, not a terrible strategy. 205 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,839 Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie. I almost believed it. 206 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 1: I just couldn't help but laughed at him. It was 207 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,439 Speaker 1: just so bizarre, And I know I wasn't the only 208 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:56,439 Speaker 1: one looking at him like he was insane either. I 209 00:13:56,600 --> 00:14:00,400 Speaker 1: told him Chelsea is literally half of Daniel's genetics, that 210 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:04,440 Speaker 1: Daniel isn't an incubator of his genetics and asked him 211 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,959 Speaker 1: why he is so obsessed with their kids needing to 212 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,559 Speaker 1: look exactly like him. 213 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:12,160 Speaker 2: What's the point of it. He wouldn't answer and just 214 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:16,079 Speaker 2: kept telling me to get up before he dragged me 215 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:20,600 Speaker 2: out to the parking lot. My god, threatening some ship. 216 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,960 Speaker 2: I had work too. It's like the worst place bro 217 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:28,400 Speaker 2: at least wait till like an after hour cocktail exactly 218 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:30,720 Speaker 2: where it's like, you know, follow him after work to 219 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:33,320 Speaker 2: his home. Yeah, he could beat the show like there, 220 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,280 Speaker 2: you know, plausible denied ability, where we do this in 221 00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:41,440 Speaker 2: front of every every be the vigilante hero. Maybe he 222 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:43,920 Speaker 2: could just bake a giant sausage and like like a 223 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,880 Speaker 2: watermelon boy, just freaking put that thing on his head. 224 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:50,120 Speaker 2: It's like, oh, oh, you know what a shisty. It's 225 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,360 Speaker 2: like the it's like the the gator mask that only 226 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:56,480 Speaker 2: has the eyes cut out, the gator mask. It's it's 227 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,440 Speaker 2: like a full mask, but it's literally just your eyes, 228 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:04,360 Speaker 2: like an oval for your eyes. It's like that, but 229 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:08,080 Speaker 2: a sausage that's a freaking wet dog on your face. 230 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:17,000 Speaker 2: That's what he needs this crime exactly. I told him, 231 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 2: I'm not going to fight him. On something this ridiculous, 232 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,640 Speaker 2: and I asked him if he was trying to get fired. 233 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,240 Speaker 2: Does sound like it? Ok? 234 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:27,480 Speaker 1: He started demanding that I take a paternity test, and 235 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:31,040 Speaker 1: I again asked him if he was completely serious. He 236 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:34,640 Speaker 1: said he was because I spend so much time with Daniel. 237 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:39,480 Speaker 2: He's a lady. He's not necessarily wrong. She's been a 238 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:41,480 Speaker 2: part of the girlfriend group that I'm a part of. 239 00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:44,040 Speaker 2: There's five of us in total, and we do artsy stuff, 240 00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:46,320 Speaker 2: try new places, just hang out and do whatever with 241 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:52,960 Speaker 2: each other. Well, Opie says, never stuff like that. Oh no, yeah, 242 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:57,920 Speaker 2: we just like you know, do arts and crabs, orgies, picnics. 243 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:05,480 Speaker 2: I told him to go take a paternity test for himself. Yeah, 244 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,920 Speaker 2: if you want to know if you're the father, take 245 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:12,040 Speaker 2: the paternity test for yourself first, know, you know, like 246 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:16,160 Speaker 2: before you ruin your entire life, like like that's the 247 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:19,840 Speaker 2: first Like, gosh, ship, my kid doesn't look like me. 248 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:24,560 Speaker 2: All right, do a little swab swab yourself, send it 249 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:27,920 Speaker 2: in and then you'll know for sure. Literally, like there's 250 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:31,480 Speaker 2: no way to figure this out. It's so staffs that 251 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,160 Speaker 2: he went to like just do like a like a 252 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:40,000 Speaker 2: like a w W E brawl before over in this corner, 253 00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:43,880 Speaker 2: we have little sausage weighing in a half a pound, 254 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,760 Speaker 2: actually half a pounds, a big sausage. That's a preally 255 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:53,560 Speaker 2: big sausage cage match. One one will survive. He argued 256 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:56,920 Speaker 2: and said, I'm not paying for a test because I 257 00:16:57,160 --> 00:17:03,120 Speaker 2: know the truth. Bro man Man is so confident but 258 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:04,720 Speaker 2: so so wrong. 259 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:08,520 Speaker 1: I told him I Am not going to pay for 260 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:12,399 Speaker 1: this paternity test, and then he asked which redhead in 261 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:15,920 Speaker 1: the factory he was gonna accuse the next. 262 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:21,119 Speaker 2: He's just like running up to every redhead you and 263 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:26,000 Speaker 2: pregnant in pregnant in my life, all of you. I 264 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:27,960 Speaker 2: hate all redheads. 265 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,680 Speaker 1: The exchange ended when our shift manager came in for 266 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:38,359 Speaker 1: her break. I texted Danielle and told her exactly what happened. 267 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:40,560 Speaker 1: Next day was my day off, so my phone was 268 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,160 Speaker 1: on silent and I slept in. I woke up to Elliott, 269 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:46,000 Speaker 1: my partner, getting off the phone and telling me I 270 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:46,520 Speaker 1: need to. 271 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:50,040 Speaker 2: Check my phone. Sam, I have to. I have to 272 00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:52,320 Speaker 2: ask you, what do you think what's on the phone? 273 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:55,600 Speaker 2: What do you think is on this phone? I gotta 274 00:17:55,720 --> 00:18:00,840 Speaker 2: imagine it's like our adgro sausage man being like, you know, 275 00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:08,720 Speaker 2: I'm your house. Imagine he literally has just like I 276 00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:11,920 Speaker 2: haven't slept since work because I need touble you to 277 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:20,080 Speaker 2: smithereens I've I've attacked seven other Gingers the way because 278 00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:23,840 Speaker 2: I know I'm righting one of you. Did. I don't 279 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:30,000 Speaker 2: need a don't all right, So here's what actually happens. 280 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:34,159 Speaker 1: I've been bombarded with dozens of messages and miss calls, 281 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:38,960 Speaker 1: threatening emails from Robert because Danielle kicked him out of 282 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:39,600 Speaker 1: the house. 283 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:44,040 Speaker 2: Whoa. So after he spilled the tea, she was like, Yeah, 284 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,119 Speaker 2: you try to try to fight my best friend and 285 00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:55,600 Speaker 2: your wife doesn't like it because you think she cheated 286 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,840 Speaker 2: on you. God he went to her first, or do 287 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:01,360 Speaker 2: you think you went directly to the think? 288 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:05,040 Speaker 1: I think this man is literally in complete and utter lunacy. 289 00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:07,840 Speaker 1: So I think he's just like, what's the most idiot 290 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:09,760 Speaker 1: move I could possibly do? And that's how he's like 291 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:15,520 Speaker 1: prioritizing decisions. He decided to get Elliott's number out of 292 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:19,760 Speaker 1: Danielle's phone to tell him his version of events. Oh god, 293 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,000 Speaker 1: I've already told Elliott the night before. So he was 294 00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:27,840 Speaker 1: just baffled on how certain Robert was about this. Daniel 295 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:31,280 Speaker 1: did text me a few times, apologizing on Robert's behalf 296 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:34,080 Speaker 1: and then updating me that they were getting a paternity 297 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:37,680 Speaker 1: test and she's filing for a divorce. 298 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:44,440 Speaker 2: Who god damn. Maybe okay, all right, hot take. Maybe 299 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:48,160 Speaker 2: maybe he wanted a divorce and this is his way 300 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:51,520 Speaker 2: of getting out of the marriage. I mean, if it 301 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:55,440 Speaker 2: is ed work, dang it is. One man sabotaged the 302 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,920 Speaker 2: shit out of that. Really. I mean, also he blows 303 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,320 Speaker 2: up his own life like he gets in a fight 304 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:02,600 Speaker 2: and work. Oh god, oh yeah, it's gonna be divorced, 305 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:12,200 Speaker 2: homeless on the street, just punching gingers. Terrible. I feel 306 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:15,640 Speaker 2: bad for this guy, honestly a little bit. Yeah, he's mad. 307 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:19,640 Speaker 2: It's like, it's like so ridiculous. I'm just like, fuck man. 308 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,480 Speaker 2: My partner thinks it's hilariously sad that Robert has just 309 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:28,280 Speaker 2: destroyed his marriage. That's how I feel too. This morning, 310 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,800 Speaker 2: while getting ready for work, Robert texted me and said 311 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:34,720 Speaker 2: he has the money and when the test comes back 312 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 2: with the truth, he's gonna f me up in court 313 00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:42,600 Speaker 2: for what I've done. How I've ruined not only his life, 314 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:49,080 Speaker 2: but his kids' lives and everyone in their family's lives. Yeah, Bro, 315 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:53,600 Speaker 2: it's not you, it's everyone else. It's every other person 316 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:58,240 Speaker 2: on planet is a raging madiac. Kanye agrees with you. 317 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:02,239 Speaker 1: I agreed to the test and told him he may 318 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,280 Speaker 1: as well quit his job and just vanish after this, 319 00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:06,840 Speaker 1: because it's gonna be real embarrassing when I walk in 320 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,639 Speaker 1: with all the paperwork and wave it around to everyone 321 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:13,280 Speaker 1: saying that I'm not his daddy to his redheaded child, 322 00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:16,240 Speaker 1: and he has to explain to everyone, including his children, 323 00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:22,600 Speaker 1: what an absolute idiot he is. That's amazing. He said that, yes, 324 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:28,040 Speaker 1: hope he's going in. Honestly, he deserves to cry. Our 325 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 1: friends have been giving me the cold shoulder all day 326 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:34,600 Speaker 1: pretty much, saying that yeah, they don't think I'm the 327 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:38,320 Speaker 1: dead for sure, but I am a trash friend for 328 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:41,119 Speaker 1: going straight to his wife and getting him thrown out 329 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:44,200 Speaker 1: of the house and having him being forced to sleep 330 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:47,520 Speaker 1: in his truck, and that I should have just agreed 331 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:50,600 Speaker 1: to the paternity test to begin with instead of stirring 332 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:55,680 Speaker 1: up drama and getting unnecessary people involved. Oh man, but 333 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,760 Speaker 1: it's one thing if he decided he wanted to get 334 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:00,960 Speaker 1: one for himself, but he expected. 335 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:03,640 Speaker 2: Me to not only get one but pay my own 336 00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:08,119 Speaker 2: way and just not say anything. But yeah, I'm the 337 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:11,760 Speaker 2: trash friend and the trash person. I guess Robert's family 338 00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:15,119 Speaker 2: is doing nothing but slandering Danielle, and I'm being mocked 339 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:18,399 Speaker 2: for having the reversed version of a beard like a 340 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,520 Speaker 2: man uses a woman as a cover so people know 341 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:24,680 Speaker 2: he's actually a gay earlier exactly, And now it's causing 342 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:29,119 Speaker 2: issues with Elliott's family because their logic is well, they 343 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:32,840 Speaker 2: wouldn't be so sure if there wasn't proof. Oh my god, 344 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:36,000 Speaker 2: my family is one hundred percent with me and knows 345 00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:38,480 Speaker 2: that I have absolutely zero interested women. 346 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:42,840 Speaker 1: Even if I did, I'm not a cheater. We need 347 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,280 Speaker 1: to know if you all think that Op is a 348 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:49,160 Speaker 1: a hole here, but Sam, what's the verdict? Okay, yeah, 349 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,520 Speaker 1: I definitely want to hear from y'all, But no way, 350 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:54,480 Speaker 1: Op is an a hole. I mean like the guy 351 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:56,720 Speaker 1: like a threatened to assault him at work and he 352 00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,280 Speaker 1: told his friend about it, not the a hole. 353 00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:02,760 Speaker 2: Okay, know, how done. But if you have a crazy 354 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,560 Speaker 2: story like this, please put in the comments or if 355 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:08,520 Speaker 2: like anyone has ever confronted you something like this, we 356 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,520 Speaker 2: need to know and the people need to read it. 357 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:13,400 Speaker 2: So uh, we love you we miss you. We'll see 358 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,520 Speaker 2: some quick recap because my camerack fell off. Okay, So 359 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,160 Speaker 2: I was in we Spa. This is Korean Spa downtown. 360 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:21,520 Speaker 2: I like their three floors. First floor is all men nude. 361 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:23,840 Speaker 2: A second floor is all women nude. Third floor is 362 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:26,560 Speaker 2: co ed. You have to wear clothes. It was in 363 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:29,560 Speaker 2: the nude all men proportion walking around and then I 364 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:32,879 Speaker 2: see something that catches my eye and it's a like 365 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:34,600 Speaker 2: it looks like a guy with two penises, but I'm 366 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,840 Speaker 2: not sure, so I like, I walk away, and then 367 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:38,720 Speaker 2: I like circle back, and I'm like I just do 368 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,560 Speaker 2: like a little little glance over it, Like that definitely 369 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:43,680 Speaker 2: looks like two penises, but maybe it's like a third 370 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:46,640 Speaker 2: ball or something super long. And then I squirt back 371 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:50,840 Speaker 2: and I really really look, man has two penises completely 372 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:56,320 Speaker 2: two like long penises too. It's insane. Just just sausage. 373 00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:59,440 Speaker 2: That's a sausage Racks city, right, He's actually the real 374 00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:02,120 Speaker 2: sausage city. But John, would you have would you rather 375 00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:06,160 Speaker 2: have two penises or one penis? I'm honestly I'm gonna 376 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:10,600 Speaker 2: I'm gonna go do load dong loa do loa dong dude, 377 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:15,680 Speaker 2: h I think two might be I don't. I just 378 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:19,200 Speaker 2: don't know that it would actually full functional kind of 379 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,840 Speaker 2: like kind of like how it's like if a dude 380 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:25,080 Speaker 2: just has a massive just like like literally like one 381 00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:27,520 Speaker 2: foot and above, you could you could never You probably 382 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:30,240 Speaker 2: can't ever really can utilize that. You can't like fully 383 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,720 Speaker 2: utilize it to it's it's true potential, you know what 384 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,000 Speaker 2: I mean? As far as I know, anyone in the comments, 385 00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:37,080 Speaker 2: let us know how many dongs you would like to have, 386 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,920 Speaker 2: and it can be zero, and please let us know why. 387 00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:44,800 Speaker 2: We'll see you soon. Professor accuses me of cheating, but 388 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:50,560 Speaker 2: I prove him wrong. I'm actually a genius. Okay, OPI 389 00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:53,920 Speaker 2: this is okay Ope. I'm Samuel Daughter and I'm John 390 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,000 Speaker 2: Fry and we tell the funniest stories on the Internet. 391 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,720 Speaker 2: And John I used to. So I used to study 392 00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,480 Speaker 2: engineering at you CLA. And one of them main ways 393 00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,280 Speaker 2: you would prepare for the test is you would go 394 00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:03,879 Speaker 2: to the test bank. Do you have it? Did you 395 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,640 Speaker 2: ever have a test test bank? Yeah, the test bank? 396 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:09,159 Speaker 2: You know about test banks? So basically it was a 397 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:13,320 Speaker 2: either you had it for for your fraternity or your club, 398 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:16,920 Speaker 2: or sometimes the school would have it and every person 399 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,800 Speaker 2: that was part of that club that came before would 400 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:23,760 Speaker 2: give their old tests to the test bank and to study, 401 00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:25,920 Speaker 2: you would go look through all these old tests. 402 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:26,159 Speaker 3: Right. 403 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:33,800 Speaker 2: Often for our ancient, ridiculously old professors, they were like, 404 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,520 Speaker 2: I gave up teaching a long time ago, so they 405 00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:40,800 Speaker 2: wouldn't really teach the class. But two they would reuse 406 00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:45,879 Speaker 2: all of their questions for like decades, let's go, and 407 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:48,840 Speaker 2: so often you would go and get you know, get 408 00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:51,320 Speaker 2: a get a test for the test bank, and it 409 00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:55,520 Speaker 2: would be question for question what was on the test 410 00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:59,760 Speaker 2: that was given that day? Glorious, But what really sucked 411 00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:01,640 Speaker 2: is if you didn't have the test bank or didn't 412 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,400 Speaker 2: know about the test bank, the test was really hard. Right, 413 00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:09,440 Speaker 2: So this story actually relates to that that dilemma of 414 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:15,359 Speaker 2: test or be tested. One very quick quip, I passed 415 00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:20,200 Speaker 2: my online Driver's perma test entirely through Yahoo answers. So 416 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:23,080 Speaker 2: shout out yeaho answers, shout out Yahoo answers, thank you 417 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,400 Speaker 2: for taking it before. Thank you for taking the test 418 00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:29,359 Speaker 2: before us. That's right. Professor accuses me of cheating, but 419 00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:34,879 Speaker 2: I prove him wrong. I'm actually a genius. When I 420 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,160 Speaker 2: was in college, I took a class with this gem 421 00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:40,520 Speaker 2: of a professor. On the first day of class, he hoss, 422 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:44,840 Speaker 2: oh many people thought they would get today, this being 423 00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:48,520 Speaker 2: an engineering school where a sea actually was average. Something 424 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:51,560 Speaker 2: like five students at the class of sixty raised their 425 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:55,440 Speaker 2: hands and then he announced that's so many days he 426 00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:59,399 Speaker 2: would give voute. That's some messor, so love how you 427 00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:01,320 Speaker 2: just asked the dudes, hey, how many as you want? 428 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,960 Speaker 2: Five people raise their hands. That's amazing. Way I'm going 429 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:07,480 Speaker 2: to get have more self confidence. Come on. All of 430 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:10,200 Speaker 2: our tests for that class were multiple choice exams we 431 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,680 Speaker 2: took online. We were allowed to refer to our notes 432 00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:14,960 Speaker 2: during the test, and we were allowed to study from 433 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:17,440 Speaker 2: old tests as long as we didn't refer to the 434 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:20,600 Speaker 2: old test during the exam. Fair enough, I studied for 435 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,640 Speaker 2: the first test, but didn't have access to any old exams, 436 00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,080 Speaker 2: so I did fine but not great. By the time 437 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,800 Speaker 2: the second exam rolled around, I had made a friend 438 00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:32,240 Speaker 2: who was in a fraternity that had multiple copies of 439 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:35,600 Speaker 2: old exams from this professor. Huh. We and a couple 440 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,680 Speaker 2: of others took advantage of the rule allowing us to 441 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:41,600 Speaker 2: study for old tests. We quickly discovered that on these 442 00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:45,000 Speaker 2: fifty question tests The professor had a repertoire of about 443 00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:48,159 Speaker 2: seventy five questions he pulled from on the first copy 444 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,360 Speaker 2: of the test we studied from. We took the time 445 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,280 Speaker 2: to work through the answers to make sure that we 446 00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:55,520 Speaker 2: understood each in every one of them. But the time 447 00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,000 Speaker 2: we got to the fourth copy, we could answer before 448 00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:02,560 Speaker 2: we even finished reading the question, So they were freaking prepared. Wow, 449 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:06,920 Speaker 2: exam time rolls around, just as with previous years. He 450 00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:10,159 Speaker 2: pulled the questions he asked in the exam from the 451 00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:13,240 Speaker 2: same file of questions. I think it took me about 452 00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:16,399 Speaker 2: twelve minutes to answer everything correctly. It was supposed to 453 00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:18,720 Speaker 2: be an hour test. Okay, you can't. You can't go 454 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,359 Speaker 2: that hard. You what that hard? Just just do the 455 00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:24,399 Speaker 2: twelve minutes and then just doodle for just wait, eighteen minutes. 456 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,120 Speaker 2: He gave himself away. Oh good, hindsight, I probably should 457 00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:28,760 Speaker 2: have let the clock run for a bit. We had 458 00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:31,399 Speaker 2: an hour, but I went ahead and submitted it because 459 00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:33,280 Speaker 2: I had other things to do. I checked in with 460 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:35,439 Speaker 2: the others I studied with the next day, and all 461 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:39,160 Speaker 2: of them had gotten that ninety percent plus. Sweet. Definitely 462 00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:41,920 Speaker 2: using that plan for test three and the final The 463 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:45,800 Speaker 2: next day, we all received an email from the professor 464 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:49,320 Speaker 2: letting us know that we are being reported to the 465 00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:52,560 Speaker 2: dean for an hoorn a code violation. 466 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:58,240 Speaker 3: No he claimed that he had never in all his 467 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:02,280 Speaker 3: ekus had any and make better than in eighty on 468 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,840 Speaker 3: one of his tests before, so the fact that we 469 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:09,280 Speaker 3: made all over ninety percent was clear a proof that. 470 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:13,040 Speaker 2: We had d And he's been teaching for one hundred years, 471 00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,760 Speaker 2: so you know, it's rare. This being an engineering school. 472 00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:18,440 Speaker 2: We were all nerds and we were pretty scared about 473 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,280 Speaker 2: receiving such an email, but we agreed the best course 474 00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:23,920 Speaker 2: of action was to talk the professor before he went 475 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:26,440 Speaker 2: to the dean, to tell our side of the story 476 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:28,480 Speaker 2: and see if we could sort things out. We reached 477 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,440 Speaker 2: out to him and he agreed to meet with us 478 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:33,320 Speaker 2: after class. When we met with him and laid out 479 00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:36,720 Speaker 2: our case, he was surprisingly receptive to our explanation. I 480 00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:38,760 Speaker 2: think in reality he didn't want to go through the 481 00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:40,800 Speaker 2: hassle of reporting us all to the dean because he 482 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:42,520 Speaker 2: was old, said in his ways, and didn't want to 483 00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:45,240 Speaker 2: do much work. So we left the meeting feeling pretty 484 00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:47,640 Speaker 2: good and agreed within our study group we would keep 485 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:51,000 Speaker 2: studying from the old tests. Well, about a week before 486 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:56,800 Speaker 2: test three, this professor announces to the class that because 487 00:29:57,120 --> 00:30:00,920 Speaker 2: some of us had filed the previous tests, it's so easy. 488 00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:04,640 Speaker 2: The next one would have twice as many questions in 489 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:07,640 Speaker 2: the same amount of time. And then, being the cheeky 490 00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:09,960 Speaker 2: s ob I am, I asked him as I was 491 00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:13,000 Speaker 2: leaving the class, what would happen if someone made one 492 00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:17,000 Speaker 2: hundred on this test? He said, God help you on 493 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:22,840 Speaker 2: the final So we use the same approach in studying 494 00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:25,440 Speaker 2: for the test and found the same pattern of a 495 00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:28,160 Speaker 2: limited set of questions. Of course, in addition to the 496 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:31,080 Speaker 2: extra questions, he had promised, all the questions on this 497 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,680 Speaker 2: test would be new. So while we again got to 498 00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:36,800 Speaker 2: the point we had the questions and answers memorized, we 499 00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:38,840 Speaker 2: tried to make sure we understood the concepts as much 500 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:41,560 Speaker 2: as possible to deal with what we expected to be 501 00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:46,520 Speaker 2: his wrath. So basically they were just studying really well, yeah, yeah, 502 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:50,479 Speaker 2: they were actually understanding, Yeah, just understand. The test day 503 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:54,720 Speaker 2: comes around, and lo and behold, eighty seven of the 504 00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:59,600 Speaker 2: questions are pulled directly from old tests. Ten are from 505 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:02,320 Speaker 2: a guest lecture where he basically pulled the question and 506 00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:06,640 Speaker 2: answered directly from the slides, and three were filler questions 507 00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:10,240 Speaker 2: like what's one plus one equal? And the earth revolves 508 00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,960 Speaker 2: around the sun for a false. This guy's so lazy. 509 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,920 Speaker 2: I know he can't even he says, face my wrath 510 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:20,360 Speaker 2: and his wrath are what's one plus one two? I 511 00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:22,960 Speaker 2: knew I had everything right. I also knew I didn't 512 00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:25,440 Speaker 2: want to screw myself and everyone else for the final. 513 00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:29,600 Speaker 2: I purposely answered the filler questions incorrectly, so if he 514 00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:32,600 Speaker 2: looked at the results, he would know what I had done. 515 00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:36,040 Speaker 2: I got my ninety seven, and I never heard from 516 00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:39,160 Speaker 2: the professor about that third test, but I like to 517 00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:42,080 Speaker 2: think of him rage scrolling through the results, like, oh, 518 00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:45,720 Speaker 2: get those kids one day. I don't remember the details 519 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,040 Speaker 2: about the final, but I do remember the form that 520 00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:51,840 Speaker 2: being the same exact thing as what had been announced 521 00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:53,760 Speaker 2: at the beginning of the semester. My study group also 522 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:56,520 Speaker 2: worked together on the group project where we made a's 523 00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:59,080 Speaker 2: and so on, So if he really only gave out 524 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:04,360 Speaker 2: five a's, that's some we received all of them. Wow, man, 525 00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:10,040 Speaker 2: oh great, great job. I'm a college dropout, so I 526 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:13,960 Speaker 2: appreciate cheating and stuff like that. Oh he just studied. Well, 527 00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:16,479 Speaker 2: like that's you know, he just he just didn't did 528 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:19,640 Speaker 2: he just used the resources at his disposal and uh 529 00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:21,840 Speaker 2: and got around the system. Was it was kind of 530 00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:25,400 Speaker 2: a combination deep study and cheating, I feel like you 531 00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:27,400 Speaker 2: know what I mean, Like, well, wasn't cheating because the 532 00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:30,000 Speaker 2: professor said he could, they could study from old tests. 533 00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:32,480 Speaker 2: He could. They just that is true, but they memorized 534 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:37,360 Speaker 2: lots of questions. That right, Well, so you're like, study 535 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:43,040 Speaker 2: from this test, but don't memorize any answers. Well yeah, yeah, op, 536 00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:46,960 Speaker 2: he really got everything down. He memorized everything, but you 537 00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:51,760 Speaker 2: know what you should memorize. Ooh, the subscribe button for OKOP. 538 00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:56,280 Speaker 2: Subscribe on YouTube, follow us on Spotify and TikTok, and 539 00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:58,280 Speaker 2: if you really want to be a support, support us 540 00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:01,760 Speaker 2: on Patreon. Join Amanda wilk Holmes, Connor van Buren, Keigan Simmons, 541 00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:03,080 Speaker 2: and Kathy Quigley. See us soon