Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2: Zaren.
Speaker 3: Oh Hey, hey, sorry, I was just napping on my bike.
Speaker 2: That's not a bike, that's the intern.
Speaker 3: Oh, Mickey, Hey, what's up? Mickey's kind of cool, it's.
Speaker 2: So warm, temporary intern.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Mickey rud dude, Yeah, I like it. Yeah, your buddy, huh.
Speaker 2: I borrowed a dog for the week, and I'm feeling
Speaker 2: good about it.
Speaker 3: Nice.
Speaker 2: You know, I missed my dog.
Speaker 3: Emotional support, a.
Speaker 2: Little dog sitting, and I just I have to have
Speaker 2: them with me all the time.
Speaker 3: I get it. I totally get it.
Speaker 2: Those are the rules.
Speaker 3: Yeah, mama, Mama makes rules. Why do you have all
Speaker 3: the geese?
Speaker 4: Do mask?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 3: I saw it on the back and I was like,
Speaker 3: those are Elizabeths, totally mine.
Speaker 2: Do you know what's articulars?
Speaker 3: Oh my god? Yes. Do you ever heard of people say, oh,
Speaker 3: you only use ten percent of your brain? Yeah, right, totally.
Speaker 3: That's total nonsense, right right, so I figure you know that. Yeah,
Speaker 3: there's another one. W people say like, oh, you're ninety
Speaker 3: percent bacteria.
Speaker 2: I've never heard that. I've heard like your ninety percent
Speaker 2: water or something.
Speaker 3: Roughly seventies in the high sixties, yes, but uh, sometimes people.
Speaker 2: Say ninety percent bacteria. Yeah, that's also wrong, I would say,
Speaker 2: so who says that.
Speaker 3: It was a common science pop side thing? Right? So
Speaker 3: apparently if you count up all the bacterial cells, there's
Speaker 3: been a recent rather scientific and I will say just scientific.
Speaker 3: I'm putting the rather on there because I'm sure it'll
Speaker 3: be wrong later. Yeah, but you know, anyway, fifty six percent,
Speaker 3: that's the new estimate. You, Elizabeth, are fifty six percent bacteria?
Speaker 2: Oh, me Zarin, fifty six percent bacteria, Dave forty six.
Speaker 3: No, he's fifty seven. He's got an extra one for.
Speaker 2: Fifty eighty six.
Speaker 3: Now, by by by weight, you know, like not by volume,
Speaker 3: but by weight, you would be ninety nine point seven
Speaker 3: percent human cells and only zero point three percent bacterial
Speaker 3: cells by weight, So they're not taking up a lot
Speaker 3: of your your you know, sense of who you are,
Speaker 3: got it? That makes still fifty six percent.
Speaker 2: That's ridiculous. Yeah, yeah, that is ridiculous.
Speaker 3: How's your moonwalking pneumonia doing? You're ready to rock this one?
Speaker 2: Oh buddy, I'm getting there. I'm getting there. But you know,
Speaker 2: we'll see, we'll see how it plays out.
Speaker 3: Well, that's all I got for you, so we hit it.
Speaker 2: Well, you know what else is ridiculous? What canoeing into
Speaker 2: the great beyond? But not really who This is ridiculous
Speaker 2: crime A podcast about absurd and outrageous caper's heis and cons.
Speaker 2: It's always ninety nine percent murder free and one hundred
Speaker 2: percent ridiculous.
Speaker 3: Oh, I know you don't heard that.
Speaker 2: You know. The Darwin Awards.
Speaker 3: Yeah, being dumb, Well, it's like nominating.
Speaker 2: Charles Darwin and it's a riff on survival of the fittest.
Speaker 5: Yea.
Speaker 2: So the project says, quote in the spirit of Charles Darwin,
Speaker 2: the Darwin Awards commemorate individuals who protect our gene pool
Speaker 2: by making the ultimate sacrifice of their own lives. Darwin
Speaker 2: Award winners eliminate themselves in an extraordinarily idiotic manner, thereby
Speaker 2: improving our species chances of long term survival.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, like the MacArthur Genius Awards and they
Speaker 3: give you like a a million dollars, a half million
Speaker 3: dollars or whatever it is. I've actually been given three
Speaker 3: Darwin Awards and you.
Speaker 2: Get you can't because you have to die to get them.
Speaker 3: You don't know about my pastors. You we have to
Speaker 3: die for a little while. I see you can come back.
Speaker 2: Darwin. Ords are like dumb ways to die basically, and
Speaker 2: there are some parameters.
Speaker 3: I've done some dumb stuff. You were like, you didn't
Speaker 3: die well.
Speaker 2: Accidental self sterilization also qualifies for an award, so exactly
Speaker 2: why Yeah, but it's actually you know, it's usually awarded posthumously.
Speaker 2: The candidate is just qualified. Though if quote innocent bystanders
Speaker 2: are killed the process the spifuse, they could have like
Speaker 2: helped the geneop who have been some of.
Speaker 3: The winners, who have been some of the winners.
Speaker 2: Thank you for asking. Gary Hoy, who fell from the
Speaker 2: twenty fourth story of the Toronto Dominion Center while trying
Speaker 2: to demonstrate to a group of students that the windows
Speaker 2: were unbreakable.
Speaker 3: All the one throws himself against the glass and then
Speaker 3: the glass goes out, and everyone's like, well, I guess
Speaker 3: he was the wrong.
Speaker 2: Yeah, John teacher, dude, Like, imagine your teacher throw against
Speaker 2: the How traumatic I shouldn't last. John alan Chow, who
Speaker 2: on his own behalf tried to convert an isolated indigenous
Speaker 2: group in on the North Sentinel Island to Christianity and
Speaker 2: then they killed him recently, like the.
Speaker 3: Last few years. He went out there and everyone's like,
Speaker 3: don't go out there, and he's like, I'm going with Jesus.
Speaker 3: They're like, it are coming back.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: It's dark stuff, dark stuff. But what would happen if
Speaker 2: a guy whose last name was Darwin did something to
Speaker 2: earn himself a spot.
Speaker 3: Oh double Darwin, double Darwin.
Speaker 2: John Darwin is the guy's name.
Speaker 3: Nice.
Speaker 2: He got in a kayak and he paddled out into
Speaker 2: the ocean, only to never return. It's not a foolish
Speaker 2: way to go. It's tragic.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But here's the thing I want to play off a
Speaker 2: quote from the great Eli Cash from one of my
Speaker 2: favorite films, The Royal Tenebouce. All right, well everyone knows
Speaker 2: John Darwin died off the waters of County Durham in England.
Speaker 2: What this podcast presupposes is maybe he didn't. Wild Sarah,
Speaker 2: we got ourselves a good old fashioned faked death.
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, Yeah.
Speaker 2: So John Darwin. John Darwin is a boomer born around
Speaker 2: nineteen fifty. He studied biology and chemistry in school, and
Speaker 2: in nineteen seventy three he married a woman named Anne Stevenson. Anne.
Speaker 2: He was a science and math teacher for eighteen years,
Speaker 2: and then he worked at a bank, and then he
Speaker 2: became a prison officer, a CEO at I guess it's
Speaker 2: his majesty's not her majesty's now, but at the time
Speaker 2: it was her majesty's prison home house.
Speaker 3: That's a strange paths ole teacher, banker, ceo.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. His wife was a receptionist at a doctor's office.
Speaker 2: Those two had another side hustle. They rented out rooms
Speaker 2: or bedsits to people. And they had twelve houses at
Speaker 2: one point, and so they'd rent these rooms out to people.
Speaker 2: One of the houses was even attached to the one
Speaker 2: that they lived in.
Speaker 3: So basically they were running a little Airbnb.
Speaker 2: Empire completely, but like more long.
Speaker 3: Term Yeah, sure, I mean more dignified.
Speaker 2: In two thousand, they bought two houses in Seaton Carew. Okay,
Speaker 2: and that's where the trouble started.
Speaker 3: In relation to Rod Carrow.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's the town.
Speaker 3: Is his father, I mean, maybe pronounced that wrong. It's
Speaker 3: Rod Carew Carew, Seaton Carew.
Speaker 2: On lots of debt, debt, debt, debt, debt, I don't
Speaker 2: want debt. Yeah, the couple they overextended themselves. They couldn't
Speaker 2: keep up. They were about to start bankruptcy proceedings and
Speaker 2: there didn't seem to be a solution. And then John
Speaker 2: John Darwin he had ideas.
Speaker 3: She's like, what if there was one less John Darwy.
Speaker 2: Thursday March twenty first, two thousand and two, he figured
Speaker 2: that was the perfect day to disappear. Okay, Yeah, So
Speaker 2: four times during the day he calls his wife Anne
Speaker 2: at work, and you know, she's at a receptionist job,
Speaker 2: and one of the calls he tells her this is
Speaker 2: it pick me up later. And so he's at work too,
Speaker 2: at the prison.
Speaker 3: So he's like whispering, he's calling a prison line.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So when he gets off his shift, he goes
Speaker 2: home to Seaton Carew Seaton Carew seatan honestly, I don't
Speaker 2: even know. So at about four point thirty in the afternoon,
Speaker 2: he goes to a storage shed and he gets out
Speaker 2: his red kayak called the Orca. And please note that
Speaker 2: this is a kayak, not a canoe.
Speaker 3: Yes and closed top.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So he takes the Orca and he heads down
Speaker 2: to the beach in front of the house. Six o'clock
Speaker 2: at this point, and it's dark and she was now
Speaker 2: home from work. She meets up with him as a
Speaker 2: race near this beach, Northgere. It's a long sandy beach.
Speaker 2: There's like low sand dunes and beach grass and it's
Speaker 2: at the mouth of the River Tees where it meets
Speaker 2: the North Sea. So it's popular with bird watchers and
Speaker 2: like the marsh land behind the beach just comes alive
Speaker 2: with wild flowers in June and July. Yeah, it's lovely
Speaker 2: and so it's understandable that someone would want to kayak
Speaker 2: out in the little mini bay off your beach at night.
Speaker 3: Let's see a photographer going for moonshots.
Speaker 2: Who knows so Anne, she rolls up to the beach
Speaker 2: and her bitch in Scota. She got a little scuz
Speaker 2: skit John. He's standing there in jeans, a black jacket
Speaker 2: and a black hat and he's got on a backpack
Speaker 2: full of supplies. He turns away from Anne and gives
Speaker 2: his empty kayak a little push out into the sea
Speaker 2: and then they hop in the car and drive forty
Speaker 2: minutes away to the Durham railway station. It's way out town,
Speaker 2: away from many more convenience stations. He needs to get
Speaker 2: out of the area, so he tells, Anne, when you
Speaker 2: get home, call the prison and ask to speak to me,
Speaker 2: just like she normally would. And that's what she did.
Speaker 2: Like they she calls up, they say you know what
Speaker 2: he left already. She's like oh, So she calls the
Speaker 2: cops and she reports him missing. When everyone discovered that
Speaker 2: the kayak or later as the press is going to
Speaker 2: keep referring to it as a canoe, but friend, it
Speaker 2: was a kayak. I have seen the picture. That is
Speaker 2: not a canoe. Whatever. I am very upset. They look
Speaker 2: and they see the kayak with a canoe is missing kayak.
Speaker 3: I'm with you.
Speaker 2: I'm going to say canoe because that's where it goes from.
Speaker 2: It is fun canoe can ayak. So they find out
Speaker 2: it's missing from the shed. So the rescue crews from
Speaker 2: the police, the coast guard, they head out to the beach.
Speaker 2: They put on their red shorts. They start running John John,
Speaker 2: They're yelling. They go up and down the coastline and
Speaker 2: they're out in boats. They find a single paddle on
Speaker 2: the beach, but nothing else, and then the search gets
Speaker 2: called off the next night, so they searched all through
Speaker 2: the night the next day. Then they're like you know
Speaker 2: what where was John? Where is mister d Thank you
Speaker 2: for asking. He was hiding out in the lake district.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's a beautiful place to hide out.
Speaker 2: Beautiful and knew where he was. He called her on
Speaker 2: the regular to get updates. Are they still looking for me?
Speaker 3: And then what.
Speaker 2: Are the locals saying about all this? She's like, well,
Speaker 2: I was still at the tea shop, and so she's
Speaker 2: telling him, you know how people are all reacting about this.
Speaker 2: Then the two of them, they think the coast is clear.
Speaker 2: So she goes to Koumbria to pick him up. And
Speaker 2: it had only been about two weeks, that's how long
Speaker 2: he stays a way. And apparently this man's beard game
Speaker 2: was strong, because he comes out sporting a full beard
Speaker 2: that apparently he didn't have when he left town. Weeks. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and he's wearing totally different clothes and he's doing this
Speaker 2: whole like I'm an old man who limps and uses
Speaker 2: a cane. Like, sure, let's say he was disguise. Yeah, choices.
Speaker 2: So a quick trip down the motorway John's home. A
Speaker 2: couple of weeks later, his canoe kayak, all bashed up,
Speaker 2: washes up on a nearby beach. Oh no, And and
Speaker 2: she's playing the distraught wife and she's like, well, my
Speaker 2: husband's remains ever be recovered? And they're like you don't
Speaker 2: think maybe? Okay, you jumped there. Okay, Remember how I
Speaker 2: told you that one of the homes that the couple
Speaker 2: rented out his bedsits was attached to their home. They
Speaker 2: were at number three the cliff And the cliff is
Speaker 2: the name of the street. Oh yeah, wow, number three,
Speaker 2: the cliff.
Speaker 3: So, and that's your address, Like you get your mail
Speaker 3: at number three, number.
Speaker 2: Three, the Cliff.
Speaker 5: So.
Speaker 2: And she's in the family home at number three, and
Speaker 2: so is John. He'sn't the house, but like when people
Speaker 2: would come over, he used a secret passageway to sneak
Speaker 2: into his hiding place in number four, right next door
Speaker 2: through a secret garden. He's like a little rat, scurrying
Speaker 2: back and forth. Rat like he even there. There was
Speaker 2: one of the passageway parts had wooden floorboards and they
Speaker 2: were creaky, so he paved it over with concrete so
Speaker 2: that it wouldn't make any noise.
Speaker 3: That's an answer. How would have gone with carpeting?
Speaker 2: Right, Well, he didn't just limit himself to numbers three
Speaker 2: and four. Of the cliff. He had a disguise. Baby.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, we just limped all over town, like he
Speaker 2: would walk down to the beach the scene of the crime.
Speaker 2: And then he even went On April twenty second, two
Speaker 2: thousand and two, just one month after his disappearance, he
Speaker 2: went to the library and got himself a library card.
Speaker 3: Why he just needed books. Yeah, I guess I couldn't
Speaker 3: have his wife.
Speaker 2: See you'll see why he gets it.
Speaker 3: Oh wait, I mean that's new identity.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So it's like he's in this little fishing village.
Speaker 3: I forgot people can.
Speaker 2: Like seven thousand people in town.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I figured that was not going to be a
Speaker 3: big population.
Speaker 2: And you think that like strolling around would be a
Speaker 2: little dicey.
Speaker 3: I'm thinking some of these people know well enough that
Speaker 3: they could smell him, you know, like that smells like
Speaker 3: John Darwin.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so you know he, like you were saying,
Speaker 2: he's working on getting this new identity. So he poked
Speaker 2: around some graveyards and like checked out headstones. He went
Speaker 2: through the local newspaper archives looking for a man who
Speaker 2: was born around his birth year and died as a child.
Speaker 3: So that wouldn't be a man, a boy, a boy child.
Speaker 2: He's looking for a male.
Speaker 3: You want to pick someone who doesn't didn't get a car, you.
Speaker 2: Know, well, bingo John Jones. Okay, so you find someone
Speaker 2: also named John. The real John Jones was born the
Speaker 2: same year as John Darwin, but twenty five miles away
Speaker 2: in Sunderland, and he died when he was only five
Speaker 2: weeks old from enteritis perfect at the city's Hospital for Infectious.
Speaker 3: Diseases an ideal candidates.
Speaker 2: Yeah, buried nineteen fifty. Okay, So John Darwin takes the
Speaker 2: kids information, goes to get a duplicate birth certificate. He
Speaker 2: got a black and white picture of himself sporting that
Speaker 2: big old beard, took it to the library for the
Speaker 2: librarian to sign with a statement that he was a
Speaker 2: regular customer. Yeah. Then he took all the new documents
Speaker 2: and he went to get a passport. So that's why
Speaker 2: he got the library card.
Speaker 3: Yeah, got it.
Speaker 2: The address on the passport h number three the cliff.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it wasn't as undoing though, that's just bold, that's
Speaker 2: just access bold. A year later, April of two thousand
Speaker 2: and three, he gets declared dead.
Speaker 3: Okay that part.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So and she takes the death certificate. She takes
Speaker 2: the evidence from the police. The whole smashed up canoe
Speaker 2: thing goes to the banks. She did not carry the
Speaker 2: smashed up canoe with her to the bank. And at
Speaker 2: some point a body washed up on the beach and
Speaker 2: we know it's not John. The cops they were like, oh,
Speaker 2: and it goes around town. A body's on the beach.
Speaker 2: So they're like, okay, we gotta be really careful. Treadslight
Speaker 2: with Anne. Of course, they identify the body is not John,
Speaker 2: and so when they're sure of it, they go to
Speaker 2: tell Anne, like, I know you've heard. She gives the
Speaker 2: performance of a lifetime. Really Oh yeah, she turns it on.
Speaker 2: She is Emmy.
Speaker 3: Worthy, Susan, watch out, you're losing again.
Speaker 2: She breaks into tears. She's wailing in sorrow, and you're thinking, well,
Speaker 2: that's not John, right. She's like, I just wish it
Speaker 2: were him so that I could finally have some closure. Barry,
Speaker 2: I just am the not knowing.
Speaker 3: She just seems reasonable.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know who else thought John was dead?
Speaker 3: John his two sons.
Speaker 2: He had two adult sons.
Speaker 3: They're not good actors. I don't think they can commit
Speaker 3: to the bit.
Speaker 2: They had two adult sons that were not in on it,
Speaker 2: and she later admitted that lying to her sons was
Speaker 2: quote something that I will live to regret for the rest.
Speaker 3: Of my time, you think as a mother.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so Anne, she uses the death certificate to claim
Speaker 2: her husband's twenty five thousand pound life insurance policy.
Speaker 3: Okay, there you go. He's got some fraud is.
Speaker 2: Twenty five thousand pound teacher's pension. Okay, his fifty eight
Speaker 2: thousand pound prison service pension, four thousand pounds in payout
Speaker 2: from the Department of Working Pensions, and then another one
Speaker 2: hundred and thirty seven thousand pounds from a Norwich Union
Speaker 2: mortgage insurance policy.
Speaker 3: She's just cashing out. She's like, let's leave this casino.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she gets two hundred and forty nine k out
Speaker 2: of it. So now John Darwin is John Jones. He
Speaker 2: has a new identity, He's got a lot of cash.
Speaker 2: What's next.
Speaker 3: I hope it's we leave England and go live somewhere
Speaker 3: nice off of this money.
Speaker 2: Oh that's really interesting. You should mention though, let's take
Speaker 2: a break. When we come back, we'll find out about that.
Speaker 3: Where were we We were about to leave England hopefully
Speaker 3: and go somewhere tropical with all this money.
Speaker 2: So we're talking about John Darwin aka John Jones aka
Speaker 2: Canoe Man. He doesn't have to go to work. He
Speaker 2: can't leave the house that much. So like, what's the
Speaker 2: guy to do? He hops online? He hops online and
Speaker 2: he plays interactive role playing games, one in particular called
Speaker 2: Asheron's Call.
Speaker 3: Oh actually I know.
Speaker 2: Yeah. He goes like deep in and according to the
Speaker 2: game's website, it is quote where thousands of players and
Speaker 2: having a beautiful three D fantasy world to make friends
Speaker 2: and seek out perilous adventure.
Speaker 3: Yes, I they call a massively multiple online role playing game.
Speaker 3: And I had a front and a roommate actually who
Speaker 3: played it. And he used to like going off and
Speaker 3: like get like a shield or a sword or whatever
Speaker 3: and then sell it to strangers.
Speaker 2: On em exactly. So Anne was like, que, we made
Speaker 2: a ton, and says the people that played it became
Speaker 2: characters in this world. They had money, they could buy
Speaker 2: and sell things, they could buy and sell property, and
Speaker 2: they can cast spells on one another.
Speaker 3: But he also turned it into real world cash, like
Speaker 3: I'll meet you at this tree and give you my store,
Speaker 3: and the verse is like I'll give you five hundred
Speaker 3: dollars us.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and things like you're saying, it turns into real world, right.
Speaker 2: So John his character is a druid of course. And
Speaker 2: then on there he interacts with this forty year old
Speaker 2: woman who's been married three times. Her name is Kelly
Speaker 2: Steele and she lives in Kansas City, Missouri, USA. Y.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So they start with like on the game, and then
Speaker 2: that moves to emails and then internet calls and he's
Speaker 2: keeping this a secret from Ann. So they're like using
Speaker 2: the phone over the internet. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: So John send money to Kelly. Oh no, and he's like,
Speaker 2: use this money and go buy me a rundown ten
Speaker 2: acre farm just outside of Kansas City, and she's like,
Speaker 2: will do. Then he takes his John Jones passport and
Speaker 2: he flies to the States. He tells Ann, you know what,
Speaker 2: I just need a break from what.
Speaker 3: Bak.
Speaker 2: I ended a sit and you play video games. He's like, well,
Speaker 2: I'm also there's a possible business venture there. So it's
Speaker 2: like fine, whatever, go. Things didn't go so great. He
Speaker 2: got out there and the relationship immediately fell apart with Kelly,
Speaker 2: so he goes back to the UK.
Speaker 3: She's like, I thought it was the accent it's not
Speaker 3: the excent no.
Speaker 2: And she's like, oh, you're not really a druid. And
Speaker 2: so then he comes back. He's like, Ann, i just
Speaker 2: lost thirty k in my business venture. I'm not getting
Speaker 2: it back. Yeah, because Kelly was like, get out of
Speaker 2: here and I'm keeping the cash. So he goes back
Speaker 2: to his room next door and he gets back online
Speaker 2: and like he's kind of going stir crazy. So when
Speaker 2: it was really cold out, he could put on his
Speaker 2: disguise and like limp around town.
Speaker 3: Ok.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it's just a little fishing village, but
Speaker 2: in the summer months it's crowded and like you can't
Speaker 2: put a bunch of clothes on to hide yourself.
Speaker 3: Now are people talking about how his now widow has
Speaker 3: got a new man on the side.
Speaker 2: Well, no, they never see them together.
Speaker 3: He's oh, they don't see him limping into the property.
Speaker 2: He probably looms out of number four, not at us.
Speaker 2: So they think he's just a weirdo. But he did
Speaker 2: get recognized in two thousand and three, like a former
Speaker 2: coworker of his sees him and then tells the cops
Speaker 2: and then but you know, not a friend and to
Speaker 2: the rescue. But they questioned her, and she's like, look,
Speaker 2: this is a huge mistake. John has a cousin who
Speaker 2: looks exactly like him, and the cops were like, oh, okay,
Speaker 2: that clears it up.
Speaker 3: That's fine.
Speaker 2: Then a tenant in number four, another renter, recognizes him,
Speaker 2: stops him and says, aren't you supposed to be dead?
Speaker 2: And John just like growls at him, is like, don't
Speaker 2: tell anybody. The guy keeps his mouth closed because you
Speaker 2: don't want to upset your landlord.
Speaker 3: I guess.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so his brushes with Discovery, they're stressing in out
Speaker 2: and she starts souring on the whole setup. She's just
Speaker 2: not into it.
Speaker 3: She can't even have her kids come around.
Speaker 2: She told the Sun newspaper quote, I lost all interest
Speaker 2: in our sex life, leaving John, who never seemed to
Speaker 2: stop thinking about sex, angry and frustrated. So like, they
Speaker 2: need to get away, They need a change of scenery.
Speaker 2: Maybe that'll help.
Speaker 3: They should have gone away the first.
Speaker 2: Time, I know. And they had dreamed of doing just
Speaker 2: that when they had the fake death. So in two
Speaker 2: thousand and four they moved to Cyprus, okay, and they thought, well,
Speaker 2: you know, we'll buy some land here. Yeah, this is
Speaker 2: what Anne said, quote, We only went for a week
Speaker 2: and we looked at quite a few properties, but it
Speaker 2: just seemed to take so long to do anything over there,
Speaker 2: just like they're just not efficient.
Speaker 3: Very Mediterranean in the middle of the Mediterranean.
Speaker 2: Honey, I think you're in the wrong place. Two thousand
Speaker 2: and five, John was like, hold on, I'm going to
Speaker 2: go inspect some things. He goes to Spain and Gibraltar
Speaker 2: and he.
Speaker 3: Went over it run away for money, right, I'm.
Speaker 2: Like, oh, you won't find any British people in Spain.
Speaker 2: He goes there to check out a sixty foot catamaran
Speaker 2: worth forty five thousand pounds. Yeah, and it was owned
Speaker 2: by this this boat dealer, Robert Hopkin. And notice he
Speaker 2: goes to an English boat. Of course, this guy said
Speaker 2: quote the sort of boat he was looking at was
Speaker 2: definitely a boat you could happily go long term cruising on.
Speaker 2: I'm talking about possibly around the world and certainly disappear
Speaker 2: from society if you wanted to. It's quite easy to
Speaker 2: do on a large boat like that.
Speaker 3: Could I reach the South Seas?
Speaker 2: Yeah? So the catabaran didn't really float their boat though?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, also does see anything about sailing that's a
Speaker 3: pretty big boat. If you don't know what you're doing,
Speaker 3: you know, maybe he does.
Speaker 2: He lives like you're up in a fishing dough.
Speaker 3: I'm open.
Speaker 2: They put on to sail the seas and like drift
Speaker 2: above Davy Jones's locker. They went back to the plan
Speaker 2: to buy land in a foreign country, like you were saying,
Speaker 2: and later told The Daily Mirror quote, he was forever
Speaker 2: looking at new things and new places on the Internet,
Speaker 2: and one day he just came up with Panama, Panama, Panama, Panama.
Speaker 3: It was I would recommend beliefs.
Speaker 2: Why Panama?
Speaker 3: Yeah, right speaking, I speak the languages as you do.
Speaker 3: Why Panama because of all the weird extradition pretty.
Speaker 2: Much well, an accountant told The Times newspaper quote, it
Speaker 2: is very simple. You pay tax in Panama only on
Speaker 2: income which is judged to have arisen in Panama. And
Speaker 2: then it's also really hard for trusts and companies set
Speaker 2: up there to be investigated by foreign authorities.
Speaker 3: It's like one of those holes.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So John, he reached out to a relocation agent named
Speaker 2: Mario Vilar, and he used Ann's email address for this.
Speaker 2: He got information about some properties that they liked and
Speaker 2: then they took off to Central America. This is in
Speaker 2: July of two thousand and six. Four years they fell
Speaker 2: in love with the country. Oh, they're back in law
Speaker 2: exactly the country, It's exactly what they were looking for.
Speaker 2: So they sold their two properties on the cliff and
Speaker 2: they were ready to buy. So they're in Mario's office
Speaker 2: and they make a big mistake. Mario asked his wife
Speaker 2: to take a photo of him with the Darwins or
Speaker 2: the Joneses, and so it all happened so quickly they
Speaker 2: didn't have time to say, no, click, are taken. That's
Speaker 2: going to come back to them, A picture taken in Panama.
Speaker 2: So John he stays in Panama and goes back to
Speaker 2: England to finalize the details of their move. He emails
Speaker 2: her constantly and he always made sure to tell her that,
Speaker 2: like in the email I'm writing to you while sitting
Speaker 2: naked on the balcony, that's just that's like his thing.
Speaker 3: Third, yet again, I'm a dangling in the tropical heat.
Speaker 2: In my fifth email of the day, so.
Speaker 3: Still naked, still on the balcony.
Speaker 2: And An's quote about this, my husband appeared to be
Speaker 2: becoming more insane by the time you think has bugs break, right,
Speaker 2: So he had his sights set on buying like a
Speaker 2: huge piece of land and when he got there, he'd
Speaker 2: build a house and then develop like an eco resort.
Speaker 3: That's what he wanted to Yeah, at the time, that's
Speaker 3: probably the move.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So she flies back to Panama and they're working
Speaker 2: on their plan. But then something happened. Panama changed its
Speaker 2: immigration laws. Yeah, and so in order to formally relocate
Speaker 2: and get permanent residents, John had to get a letter
Speaker 2: from the British police attesting to the fact that he
Speaker 2: was quote a person of good character. Yeah, he could
Speaker 2: have just moved to another country start again. Whatever reason.
Speaker 2: He's like, No, Panama, Venezuela comes to mind. He's like,
Speaker 2: I think it would be best if I went back
Speaker 2: to the UK. No, I have a plan, no wild one.
Speaker 3: No, what about Western Australia. I got a wild one
Speaker 3: for you.
Speaker 2: Here's this story, the plan. She hears it, and she says, quote,
Speaker 2: I told him he was crazy, but as usual, he
Speaker 2: didn't listen. He was sure he knew best. Yeah, you're
Speaker 2: never going to guess what the plan is, zaren close
Speaker 2: your eyes. Yes, I want you to picture it. It's
Speaker 2: December first, two thousand and seven. You're a police constable
Speaker 2: assigned to the West End Central Police Station in London.
Speaker 2: It's early evening, around five thirty or so, and the
Speaker 2: station is buzzing as usual. You're posted up at the
Speaker 2: front desk, sipping tea and making notes for the book
Speaker 2: you're working on. It's a biography of the most famous
Speaker 2: member of the Scotland Yard Flying Squad, Dcipickles. A man
Speaker 2: walks into the station off the street. This is a
Speaker 2: little unusual. Generally it's other coppers who waltz in it out,
Speaker 2: but this guy's a civilian. He's tan and he looks
Speaker 2: a little smug. You dislike him immediately, even before talking
Speaker 2: to him. You feel bad about this, and you're about
Speaker 2: to chastise yourself for it. But then you stop and think.
Speaker 2: Dcipickles always followed his instinct. He always trusted his gut.
Speaker 2: That's how he found the Missing World Cup. What would
Speaker 2: DCI Pickles do in this situation? You nod at the
Speaker 2: man as he approaches the counter. Can I help you, sir?
Speaker 2: You ask, I think I'm a missing person? He says,
Speaker 2: oh boy, you think a nutter. You ask him his
Speaker 2: name and he tells you John Darwin. You tell him
Speaker 2: to have a seat while you go and fetch the sergeant.
Speaker 2: You pick up the phone and dial an extension. The
Speaker 2: sergeant comes out and sizes up the man. These in
Speaker 2: his late fifties, you'd say. Upon questioning, John Darwin tells
Speaker 2: you both that he thinks he's a missing person because
Speaker 2: he doesn't remember the last five or six years of
Speaker 2: his life. The last he can remember is early two
Speaker 2: thousand and two. You reach over to your computer keyboard.
Speaker 4: You get to work.
Speaker 2: The sergeant asked John Darwin where he's from. Seat in
Speaker 2: Caro Cleveland. You start tapping away up pops a report
Speaker 2: about a man who died at sea, his kayak being
Speaker 2: all that remained of him. You had a canoe, The
Speaker 2: sergeant says it was a kayak, says John Darwin. The
Speaker 2: sergeant looks at you. You tell John Darwin to have
Speaker 2: a seat. A media firestorm is about to catch flame.
Speaker 2: So somehow, and I'm not saying it was You's Aaron
Speaker 2: the UK tabloid press got wind of this amazing canoe man.
Speaker 3: I've got a gambling problem Elizabeth.
Speaker 2: Who turned up after being decre dead. And you know
Speaker 2: how the tabloids are as soon as soon as they
Speaker 2: had his name, they began their investigation.
Speaker 3: Yes, that's what I'm waiting for. And the Daily Mail
Speaker 3: boys on.
Speaker 2: It faster than you can say, Jack Robinson. They tracked
Speaker 2: and a Panama and then you know Panama model citizens
Speaker 2: zero discipline. And when they found Anne, they also found
Speaker 2: that picture from Mario, the real estate agent's office. He
Speaker 2: had posted it on his website, so there was a
Speaker 2: caption identifying Anne and John, but no last names, and
Speaker 2: the press went nuts. Detective Superintendent Tony Hutchinson said, quote,
Speaker 2: that is one line of inquiry we will be following.
Speaker 2: But he added photographs can be doctored.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's usually what happened. You guys are like, I'm
Speaker 3: going to spend my money on a photoshop of this
Speaker 3: lovely British couple exactly.
Speaker 5: So.
Speaker 2: Hutchinson also said police had no immediate plans to extradite
Speaker 2: Anne or go to Panama to interview her. He said
Speaker 2: Darwin's appearance had raised a lot of questions. Quote, we
Speaker 2: need to speak to on Darwin. Clearly, it's only right
Speaker 2: and proper that we spoke to him under caution, and
Speaker 2: he said that you know, he was going to be
Speaker 2: medically examined. He may have been suffering from amnesia for
Speaker 2: five and a half years.
Speaker 3: There's like no amnesia test now. It was just like
Speaker 3: these two doctors both agree.
Speaker 2: I guess yeah. So the Hutchinsony makes this public appeal
Speaker 2: for information. He tells reporters we want to piece together
Speaker 2: exactly where he's been since he went missing in two
Speaker 2: thousand and two, and then asked whether the investigation was
Speaker 2: being led by the media. He said journalists had more
Speaker 2: quote latitude than the police, and he added the press
Speaker 2: have certainly been providing us with a lot of information.
Speaker 3: To the UK, He's like, you.
Speaker 2: Do the leg work. That's great. So with a nod
Speaker 2: from the cops. The press chase is on the Splash
Speaker 2: News and Picture agency. They were the first to find Ann.
Speaker 2: They tracked her down to Panama City and other tabloids
Speaker 2: hot on their trail. They persuaded her to go into hiding.
Speaker 3: They did, yeah them, right them.
Speaker 2: And they said, if you give our reporters and photographers
Speaker 2: exclusive accents. As her story unraveled into global news, the
Speaker 2: agency just had like scoop after scoop.
Speaker 3: This is like a nineteen twenty story in America.
Speaker 2: I love this because their clients were the Daily Mail
Speaker 2: and the Mirror.
Speaker 3: Yeah of course, oh yeah, the big ones.
Speaker 2: And so the competition like they can't keep.
Speaker 3: Us, The Sun's losing it. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2: The rumors that Anne was in Panama prompted the Mail
Speaker 2: to contract David Lee, who was a former Mirror news
Speaker 2: editor and was now chief of Splash's Miami bureau, to
Speaker 2: fly to Central America. Okay, right after his arrival, the
Speaker 2: Mirror finds out Darwin's address in Panama, said the Mail.
Speaker 2: They had a team on the ground, but no address.
Speaker 2: The Mirror has the address, but no team. So they
Speaker 2: made a deal. The Mirror would hand over the address
Speaker 2: and then they would share the scoop. Both papers denied
Speaker 2: paying her directly, but Splash may have paid her the
Speaker 2: news agency. So Splash takes her to the airport for
Speaker 2: a flight to Miami and that's where the agency has
Speaker 2: a base, and from there they get her back to
Speaker 2: the UK. And this is when the press starts calling
Speaker 2: John Darwin canoe man and it's open season at this point.
Speaker 2: So and she gets back to England and she has
Speaker 2: to confront more than the tabloids. She has to face
Speaker 2: her sons. Oh right, right, remember them, Anthony and Mark.
Speaker 2: So they issued a joint statement saying that they were
Speaker 2: quote astonished that their mother could have let them believe
Speaker 2: that their father died, and she's begging their forgiveness. Quote
Speaker 2: who can blame them? I lied to them, my own sons.
Speaker 2: What sort of mother am I? That's what she tells
Speaker 2: the Daily Mail. Oh yeah, my sons are never going
Speaker 2: to forgive me, she said, quote they thought John was dead.
Speaker 2: Now they're gonna hate me. They'll be devastated and we'll
Speaker 2: probably want nothing to do with me again.
Speaker 3: Probably, yeah, probably.
Speaker 2: I think you're about right so far.
Speaker 3: You're like this kind of analysis you could have used earlier.
Speaker 2: So they're like the Daily Mails like tell us more. Quote,
Speaker 2: I don't want to live my life as a fugitive.
Speaker 2: I'll have to go back because I won't have any
Speaker 2: life here. Never have listened to John, but he can
Speaker 2: be very persuasive. Of course, I'm to blame too. I
Speaker 2: know I've done wrong. I just wish i'd told the
Speaker 2: boys when I found out. I'm sure they would have
Speaker 2: talked some sense into me. But I didn't. I didn't
Speaker 2: tell anyone, and one lie led to another yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: there it is, Anne and so the SUNS. They released
Speaker 2: this joint statement. Quote, in this short space of time
Speaker 2: following our dad's appearance on Saturday, we've gone through a
Speaker 2: rollercoaster of emotion. If the paper's allegations of a confession
Speaker 2: from our mam are true, then we very much feel
Speaker 2: that we have been the victims in a large scam.
Speaker 2: How could our ma'am continue to let us believe our
Speaker 2: dad had died when he was very much alive? How
Speaker 2: could you, ma'am? So the statement added that they had
Speaker 2: had no contact with either of the parents since John,
Speaker 2: you know, walked into the place. I do you do? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I do is I'm as they start to protest a
Speaker 3: little too much, I'm starting to be a little suspicious.
Speaker 2: No, I believe them, Okay, leave him. It came out though,
Speaker 2: that the investigation into John didn't start when he walked
Speaker 2: into the police station. What Yeah. It was actually reopened
Speaker 2: three months prior in September, because a coworker of Anne's
Speaker 2: at the doctor's office told the cops that she'd overheard
Speaker 2: a series of suspicious phone calls in hushed tones. Why
Speaker 2: she waited that long years earlier years and the time time,
Speaker 2: so weird. But Tony Hutchinson, Detective Superintendent. He said, quote,
Speaker 2: there was some information which was reported to us three
Speaker 2: months ago to suggest that perhaps there was something suspicious
Speaker 2: with regards to his disappearance.
Speaker 3: I wonder if she caught something else, you know, or
Speaker 3: whatever till he came to light and then she just
Speaker 3: went and.
Speaker 2: But don't forget Anne went back to She went back
Speaker 2: to the UK to do the property settlement. And so maybe,
Speaker 2: like she was in the doctor's.
Speaker 3: Office, maybe she's also still in contact with people, and
Speaker 3: maybe she just offended this woman on some totally unrelated score,
Speaker 3: like her biscuits are really dry. I'm going to the police.
Speaker 3: Her scones were exactly.
Speaker 2: So let's take a break. When we come back, we're
Speaker 2: going to see what the law has in.
Speaker 4: Store for the Darwins.
Speaker 2: John Darwin would yeah, the man accused of faking his
Speaker 2: own death in a canoeing accident aka Kayak and Darwin
Speaker 2: his long suffering wife. So they get busted after John
Speaker 2: strolled into the cop shop says he has amnesia, might
Speaker 2: be a missing person. Everything fell apart. They wind up
Speaker 2: charged with a series of fraud related offenses that added
Speaker 2: up to like two hundred and fifty pounds.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's like all the money they had.
Speaker 2: Yeah. John pleads guilty to seven charges of obtaining cash
Speaker 2: by deception and a passport offense. Just plead skillt He
Speaker 2: denied nine other charges of using criminal property, an offense
Speaker 2: related to the money laundering. Okay, And the prosecutors are like, okay,
Speaker 2: the ones that you denied, you're not going to face trial,
Speaker 2: you know, We're just gonna let it lie. And she
Speaker 2: denies the deception charges and nine of the using criminal property.
Speaker 2: So she went to trial in court and described John
Speaker 2: as like domineering, manipulative, just always got what he wanted. Yeah.
Speaker 2: She said that once she thought about leaving him after
Speaker 2: finding out that he'd had an affair, but then she
Speaker 2: couldn't contemplate life without him.
Speaker 3: Oh I would have held the like he forced her somehow,
Speaker 3: like he can't be like, oh I decided to stay
Speaker 3: with him.
Speaker 2: I think he did. I think he forced her.
Speaker 3: I would have played if I would have made that
Speaker 3: part of my narrative.
Speaker 2: Then, when she was asked about like how she was
Speaker 2: playing the grieving widow, she said, quote, I honestly felt
Speaker 2: like a grieving widow. I'd lost my husband, not the
Speaker 2: sense he was lost, but he'd left me. I felt desperate,
Speaker 2: I felt ashamed about what was happening. The emotions I
Speaker 2: showed were genuine emotions.
Speaker 3: That's well for her.
Speaker 2: She said that the strain of keeping up that deception
Speaker 2: was so hard that one time she ran out of
Speaker 2: the house and went to the beach, and she said
Speaker 2: that quote, I sat on the beach looking at the sea.
Speaker 2: I wish that John had drowned at sea. I considered
Speaker 2: walking into the sea. I got so desperate, but I
Speaker 2: couldn't do it because of the effect it would have
Speaker 2: had on the rest of the family, particularly Mark and Anthony.
Speaker 2: I think this is right now, You're thinking about the
Speaker 2: boys totally.
Speaker 3: I think that is why Gary Betzner hypnotized his wife
Speaker 3: before he went off and faked his death was somewhat alleviator.
Speaker 3: This concerns the psychic damage, or maybe not. Maybe he
Speaker 3: just wanted her to pull Maybe.
Speaker 2: It was not fun so and since she had no
Speaker 2: idea how bad the debt was before he, you know,
Speaker 2: staged his death, that he had always kind of dealt
Speaker 2: with all the finances. Her court case was followed doggedly
Speaker 2: by the press, every detail examined.
Speaker 3: Not the British tabloid.
Speaker 2: So she gets found guilty. She gets sentenced to six
Speaker 2: years three months. John had gotten the same thing.
Speaker 3: Okay, she gets more time than him. I'm gonna lose it.
Speaker 2: They got exactly the same and then they later appealed
Speaker 2: those decisions.
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm good for her.
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, it's not a good crime and it's not
Speaker 2: a good ridiculous criminal if there's no book involved.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, please, the book club needs it's new books.
Speaker 2: While in jail, John wrote a memoir detailing his scam
Speaker 2: and like in graphic detail his affairs.
Speaker 3: He's like, memoirs, those can be partly fictional.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he tries to smuggle it out of his jail.
Speaker 3: I like he's like a lot of sex. He's like,
Speaker 3: oh yeah, I'm a sexy guy and you need to
Speaker 3: hear my story. This is central to understanding the Darwin.
Speaker 2: He got to know if you want to know me.
Speaker 2: Extracts from the book were published in the tabloid The Sun.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, get in on this.
Speaker 2: Like John, he teamed up with this dude, this like
Speaker 2: fraudster that he met in jail, and I posed as
Speaker 2: his lawyer. After he got out, so his other scam
Speaker 2: artist friend gets out of jail then says, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm his lawyer. And that's how they could exchange uncensored
Speaker 2: material under Rule thirty nine, which allows for correspondence between
Speaker 2: prisoners and their legal advisors to be treated as confidential.
Speaker 3: So in the US, they don't have like show me
Speaker 3: your legal card, like you're he's lawyer.
Speaker 2: He just like walks out of the prison, puts a
Speaker 2: blazer on. Yeah. So the prison Service, I mean the
Speaker 2: prison Service, obviously they don't. They don't carry out any
Speaker 2: checks that they should have. And the reason for the
Speaker 2: upset about this is that the Ministry of Justice said
Speaker 2: that it's wrong for convicted criminals to profit from their crist.
Speaker 2: So the memoir, he called it The Canoe Man, Panama
Speaker 2: and Back. It's a terrible title, terrible, terrible. He talks
Speaker 2: about how he contemplated suicide the face of his mounting debts,
Speaker 2: but then he realized it wouldn't solve his financial because
Speaker 2: you know, you can't collect life insurance, and he worried
Speaker 2: what effect it would have on his wife, which like,
Speaker 2: I don't believe on that, he said quote, not only
Speaker 2: would I think I was a failure in the eyes
Speaker 2: of Anne, but also in the eyes of my two sons,
Speaker 2: as I would have lost the Faily home, lost absolutely
Speaker 2: everything that Anne and I had worked for.
Speaker 3: So instead he fakes his death, makes his wife lie
Speaker 3: to the kids, his dad. He's like, that's the answer,
Speaker 3: that's the good one.
Speaker 2: He calls the moment that he came up with the
Speaker 2: idea to fake his own death a eureka moment. He
Speaker 2: didn't want to take the Oprah's aha. He said, quote,
Speaker 2: if we couldn't die, then my crazed brain reason I
Speaker 2: could pretend to die. Not a job for Anne. She
Speaker 2: may fluff it completely and end up really dead. For
Speaker 2: my part, I no longer had a choice. I'd made
Speaker 2: up my mind to do it for real. After all,
Speaker 2: I wouldn't be the first man to kill himself because
Speaker 2: of financial pressures. The only difference in this case was
Speaker 2: that it would look like an accident. A suicide would
Speaker 2: be useless. The insurance company wouldn't pay it out, so
Speaker 2: he serves half his sentence. He gets out in January
Speaker 2: twenty eleven and is released a couple of months later
Speaker 2: the Crown Prosecution Service. They recovered assets, including their apartment
Speaker 2: in Panama City, and then like the piece of jungle
Speaker 2: that they bought. Oh yeah, they were gonna like open a.
Speaker 3: Bread breath right resort.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, And so they combined that with the cash
Speaker 2: that was left over the other assets, and prosecutors are
Speaker 2: about to get back almost half a million pounds. The
Speaker 2: news reports. Some said that they made off with two
Speaker 2: hundred and fifty thousand pounds and others said six hundred
Speaker 2: thousand pounds. It was just a lot.
Speaker 3: Whatever it was, there's somewhere in the hundred.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it just gets loose. The crime spurred another crime.
Speaker 2: Sky News admitted that one of its senior executives authorized
Speaker 2: a journalist to conduct email hacking on two separate occasions
Speaker 2: that were in the quote public interest, even though you
Speaker 2: know it's violating the computer misuse, We got it.
Speaker 3: We really need to know the answer of about those Darwin.
Speaker 2: Hard tub the Sky News Northern England Correspondence. He hacked
Speaker 2: emails belonging to John Darwin while Anne was on trial.
Speaker 2: So he hacked John's emails. He built up a database
Speaker 2: of emails that he thought would defeat her defense. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and so the charges against him get dropped because prosecutors
Speaker 2: said it would not be in the public interest to
Speaker 2: prosecute him because the emails were accessed with a view
Speaker 2: to providing that a criminal offense had been committed. So
Speaker 2: it's like, basically like you're kind of helping the prosecution.
Speaker 2: They said that. They said a number of the same
Speaker 2: emails they later got the police later got them lawfully
Speaker 2: and were used in trial, and.
Speaker 3: They were actually from Megan Markle, right.
Speaker 2: So they're like they were going to come out anyway.
Speaker 2: So whatever, it's cool. It doesn't seem right, but who
Speaker 2: am I to say? But this wasn't the end of
Speaker 2: Canoeman John Darwin.
Speaker 3: What happened to Canoeman John Darwin Elizabeth twenty thirteen?
Speaker 2: He gets arrested for violating his parole after he traveled
Speaker 2: to Ukraine.
Speaker 3: Why okay, twenty thirteen was he washing money?
Speaker 5: Now?
Speaker 2: Under the terms you'll find out when he was washing
Speaker 2: over there? Under the terms of his release, he wasn't
Speaker 2: allowed to leave Britain without authorities on that. He didn't care.
Speaker 2: He went to the town of Subi in Ukraine to meet.
Speaker 3: A woman a resort town.
Speaker 2: Sum Yeah, he was spying himself a bride buying a
Speaker 2: bride because he and Anne. They were divorced at this point.
Speaker 3: I was hoping that she had left him finally.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well it falls through with the Ukrainian no h
Speaker 2: and Ann's retired. She lives alone in the north of England.
Speaker 2: She reconciled with her boy.
Speaker 3: Every time he goes to a new woman and when
Speaker 3: they meet him, they're like, oh no.
Speaker 2: No, no, They're like, an he's your problem to goad.
Speaker 2: So she makes up with her kids, Mark and Anthony.
Speaker 2: They had disowned her like completely, and she's able to
Speaker 2: be a part of her grandchildren's life.
Speaker 3: So they became parents and that kind of softened their stands. Yeah,
Speaker 3: mistakes are made.
Speaker 2: Sometimes theirs are like, you know, she has It's fun.
Speaker 3: How that helps becoming a parent You suddenly judge your
Speaker 3: own parents differently. Yeah, I say that as a non parent,
Speaker 3: I still got to judge my total.
Speaker 2: While she was in prison and wrote a book if
Speaker 2: she worked with journalists David Lee on a book called
Speaker 2: Out of My Depth.
Speaker 3: You can't finish your book, go to prison, the journalist
Speaker 3: will come and help you.
Speaker 2: Give us another book. She talks publicly a lot about
Speaker 2: her involvement in the scam, but she still says that
Speaker 2: she was controlled by John the whole thing.
Speaker 3: I do believe that.
Speaker 2: Yeah. John. When he got out, he returned to his hometown,
Speaker 2: the Staine Cliff Hotel. There has a canoe bar and Darwin.
Speaker 3: Restaurant banking on you knew me when well, no.
Speaker 2: He didn't do it.
Speaker 3: They just.
Speaker 7: Wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's like, you know, talk of the town. He
Speaker 2: tried to sell that memoir and was not successful. No
Speaker 2: publishers bought it. So then he moved to the philomen.
Speaker 3: And publishers agree about him.
Speaker 2: He moved to the Philippines, Oh god, and he married
Speaker 2: a woman named Mercy May, who was twenty three years
Speaker 2: his junior. Mercy May, he lives there now. They run
Speaker 2: a market stall together. Really yeah, outside she does.
Speaker 3: All the work. I'm kissing. He's not out front, of course.
Speaker 2: This is what Mercy May said. Quote. I know what
Speaker 2: he did. He knows, and he paid penalty. He doesn't
Speaker 2: need to be reminded.
Speaker 3: Oh I'm glad. He's got a very supportive and royal wife.
Speaker 2: So he made the news in twenty twenty two, what
Speaker 2: for when Mercy told the tabloids that he was willing
Speaker 2: to travel to Ukraine to fight what he was seventy
Speaker 2: one at this in the war. Yeah, in the.
Speaker 3: War, I was like really hoping to be like an
Speaker 3: exhibition boxing match and not in the war. Be a
Speaker 3: bad idea.
Speaker 2: War Mercy told the Mirror quote, yes, dangerous for the
Speaker 2: Russian when he shoot them. Oh no, yeah. She said
Speaker 2: that he had good life insurance. Quote, he will have
Speaker 2: a bulletproof vest and good life insurance. Good for me.
Speaker 3: I made the bulletproof ess myself.
Speaker 2: Fan's crazy out of the market stall stuff.
Speaker 3: No, it's like it may work.
Speaker 2: Why why was she talking to the tabloids in twenty
Speaker 2: twenty two.
Speaker 3: And why was she trying to send her husband off
Speaker 3: to warn talking about the answer.
Speaker 2: That I understand. I get it to the tabs because
Speaker 2: ITV released a four part drama series called The Thief,
Speaker 2: His Wife and the Canoe.
Speaker 3: Oh like I got it.
Speaker 2: Here's the cast. Eddie Marson is John Darwin. You know
Speaker 2: that actor he was like in He played the boxing
Speaker 2: brother in Ray Donovan and I know you'll recognize.
Speaker 3: Him if you see your name sounds familiar.
Speaker 2: Monica Dolan is Anne Darwin, Mark Stanley is Mark Darwin.
Speaker 3: Not Mark Stanley.
Speaker 2: Dominic Applewhite is Anthony Darwin, and Carl Pilkington as DC
Speaker 2: Phil Bailey. You know Carl Pilkington. He is the like
Speaker 2: dimlit buddy of what's his name that I can't stand,
Speaker 2: the original office guy, the original Office guy gerv Rickey Gervais, right, okay,
Speaker 2: Ricky Gervas. He has a show with his pal Carl
Speaker 2: Pilkington and they travel and Carl is such a dimwit,
Speaker 2: but I love him so much. He's hilarious. And Steven
Speaker 2: Merchant he's funny, he's involved anyway, Carl Pilkington, of all
Speaker 2: people is DC Phil Bailey.
Speaker 3: That's a big mood in like the UK. I've noticed
Speaker 3: is that we take one guy post likely funny, and
Speaker 3: then we have him travel places like there's a lot
Speaker 3: of shows.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there are a bunch of shows like that. So
Speaker 2: you can watch this on brit Box, which hypothetically, if
Speaker 2: I were.
Speaker 3: Someone are you sponsored by?
Speaker 2: If I were someone who watched TV, I would one
Speaker 2: have a brit Box subscription, And if I were the
Speaker 2: type to watch TV, which I don't because it's totally
Speaker 2: beneath me, I would wait until I finished recording this
Speaker 2: episode to watch the series because I wouldn't want the
Speaker 2: fictionalized version to tape my research version.
Speaker 3: Huh.
Speaker 2: Like if I were to watch Yeah so Zaren.
Speaker 3: When is called The Midwife on BritBox, it's.
Speaker 2: Not well, I watched it through PBS. I mean I would.
Speaker 2: I would hypothetically watch it through TuS passport and I
Speaker 2: would hypothetically watch things like Father Bros. Hypothetically hypothetically or
Speaker 2: you know, just Silent Witness. I heard that's I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's a show or not.
Speaker 3: I sound like it would be good if it were
Speaker 3: me or likes.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't watch TV. I appreciate this.
Speaker 2: What's your ridiculous takeaway.
Speaker 3: The well? I mean he didn't deserve her, so like
Speaker 3: it shouldn't have worked out, but like you make it,
Speaker 3: you get away. Your wife helps you fake your death.
Speaker 3: She pulls off the hard work of like the month
Speaker 3: of like convincing everyone you're dead. You're supposed to then
Speaker 3: take her on a vacation or move somewhere nice and
Speaker 3: he doesn't knew anybody. He's like, instead, I'm going to
Speaker 3: the Midwest. I got myself a gamer wife. I mean, like, bro,
Speaker 3: what the hell this room?
Speaker 2: Play video game? Like mobile around town.
Speaker 3: Early in his first idea is like, well, I've been
Speaker 3: online a while, yeah, and the world, what's yours? Elizabeth?
Speaker 2: I he's a horse's ass, ye, I can't stand it.
Speaker 2: And Anne is a doormat and I feel for her same,
Speaker 2: And I'm glad that things have resolved themselves from me.
Speaker 2: And I feel bad for Mercy May but I kind
Speaker 2: of don't because I feel like.
Speaker 3: She maybe she seems at opportunity.
Speaker 2: She might smother him in to sleep.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, does.
Speaker 2: Hypothetically allegedly. Let's see, Oh, Dave, do we do we
Speaker 2: have any talkbacks?
Speaker 3: I think I can wrestle one up?
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, freshy, Oh my god, I want.
Speaker 2: Hi, Elizabeth and Barren.
Speaker 7: I just listened to your episode about all the stake universities,
Speaker 7: and my favorite part was all the dogs and cats
Speaker 7: getting their degrees. I think that's awesome. And I think
Speaker 7: that y'all should make a T shirt that says Rude
Speaker 7: University because I would totally love a bogus degree from
Speaker 7: rudu University.
Speaker 2: I would buy that all right, bye, yes university.
Speaker 3: We got two ideas, start a fake university and sell mercer.
Speaker 2: We should sell diplomas from Rude you know, what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: We get, of course, get in on the diploma, and
Speaker 3: then we also want.
Speaker 2: Do you want like a doctorate in criming?
Speaker 3: I told you I'm working on that. I'm going to
Speaker 3: get the legitimate one, and then I'm going to get
Speaker 3: a fake one just in case of the legitimate one.
Speaker 2: Does we could we could just put them up on
Speaker 2: the website and people could print them off.
Speaker 3: For I'm charitable, yes, tell them donate to our local
Speaker 3: charity and you get one of these. Even have to
Speaker 3: give us proof.
Speaker 2: You just hack the mainframe and get in there. That's it.
Speaker 2: That's all I have for today. You can find us
Speaker 2: online at ridiculous crime dot com. We're also at ridiculous
Speaker 2: Crime on both Twitter and Instagram. Email ridiculous Crime at
Speaker 2: gmail dot com, download the iHeart app, and please leave
Speaker 2: us a talk back reach out and keep us leazy.
Speaker 2: Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and Sarah Burnett,
Speaker 2: produced and edited by houseboat Guy Dave Cousten. Research is
Speaker 2: by pontoon Boat Human Marissa Brown and jet Ski individual
Speaker 2: Andrea song Sharpened Tear. The theme song is by Trawler
Speaker 2: person Thomas Lee and wakeboard Dude Travis Dutton post wardrobe
Speaker 2: is provided by Botany five Hundred. Executive producers are Ben Sloop,
Speaker 2: John Bolan and Barge Buddy Noel.
Speaker 5: Brown, Ridicus Crime, Say It One More Times
Speaker 1: Crime Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio Four more
Speaker 1: podcasts my heart Radio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.