1 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:08,000 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to stuff. 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:10,119 Speaker 1: I never told you a production of iHeartRadio. 3 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,480 Speaker 2: And welcome. I'm up to another classic today. I thought 4 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:25,600 Speaker 2: we would bring back the one we did that I mistitled. 5 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:29,160 Speaker 1: Sometimes I look back at these and I'm like, oh, no, 6 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:30,320 Speaker 1: I was not having a day. 7 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:31,920 Speaker 2: I was having a good day when I did that 8 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 2: on women and Reddit. I just I just put like 9 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:38,559 Speaker 2: a weird and unnecessary Sminty before it. So it's like 10 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:42,199 Speaker 2: sminty women and Reddit. Oh just not Yeah again, I 11 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:44,440 Speaker 2: don't have spell check. This is another issue I've had 12 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:46,000 Speaker 2: in my life for a long time, and I need 13 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:46,680 Speaker 2: to fix. 14 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:49,200 Speaker 3: Our jab ba tech. 15 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:54,800 Speaker 1: I know, I know you. It's okay, thank you. I 16 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: appreciate that, Samantha. 17 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:58,800 Speaker 2: But we've been talking a lot because our social media 18 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:01,720 Speaker 2: landscape here in the US and such flux and such 19 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:07,040 Speaker 2: turmoil in a lot of instances, and that because of that, 20 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,680 Speaker 2: Reddit is kind of seeing an up an upswing more 21 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 2: people going back to it. I have friends who love Reddit, 22 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,600 Speaker 2: although I did find out recently one of my best 23 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:20,080 Speaker 2: friends uses read it all the time, and she's like 24 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:23,039 Speaker 2: really active on the last of us two Subreddit, and 25 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:30,680 Speaker 2: she's basically just yells at dudes are being doxic one there, 26 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:35,240 Speaker 2: and I have more strength than I do. Yeah, yeah, 27 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:38,880 Speaker 2: so you know, there's definitely still issues with it. I 28 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 2: saw an interesting headline about how somebody I think the 29 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:48,960 Speaker 2: DOJ is assuming Reddit, Facebook, and Twitter because they're saying 30 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 2: they radicalized a shooter. So that'll be interesting how that comes, 31 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:57,600 Speaker 2: how that plays out. Also, Reddit became public for a 32 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:00,080 Speaker 2: first for the first time, which is not something that 33 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 2: I am very confident talking about. I know what it is, 34 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:08,359 Speaker 2: but like, but people were talking about it because it's interesting. 35 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:11,960 Speaker 2: Reddit doesn't really make a lot of money from what 36 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 2: I understand, it does have ads, and after we did 37 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:17,280 Speaker 2: this episode, people wrote in and told us about the 38 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:21,920 Speaker 2: ad structure. Because we weren't sure when we did this episode. 39 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,880 Speaker 2: I guess there were speculation about why they were doing it, 40 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 2: because it's not like they suddenly were making a lot 41 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 2: of money. They do make money. But anyway, we were 42 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 2: going to come back to this on a larger scale later, 43 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,919 Speaker 2: but I thought we'd bring this episode back in the meantime, 44 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:45,200 Speaker 2: so please enjoy. Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and 45 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,440 Speaker 2: welcome to Stephan Never told You. A production of iHeartRadio 46 00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 2: and today. I don't think we really have a content warning, 47 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:05,840 Speaker 2: but there is some grossness that happens that we're talking about, 48 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:08,960 Speaker 2: and it's Internet grossness that you probably know exists if 49 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:12,200 Speaker 2: you've been someone on the Internet who's from any intersectionality 50 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:15,120 Speaker 2: and martialized community. We are going to be talking about that, 51 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,840 Speaker 2: including some quotes that I find very infuriating, but nothing 52 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 2: to to in depth because today we're talking about Reddit. 53 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:24,799 Speaker 1: Oh Reddit, Yes, and we're doing kind of. 54 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:27,800 Speaker 2: It wasn't planned, but we have a lot of technology 55 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:29,160 Speaker 2: based episodes coming. 56 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,400 Speaker 3: It's kind of how our minds go from we should 57 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:34,320 Speaker 3: talk about this to this and this and all these 58 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:37,800 Speaker 3: subjects need an episode in itself because it's too big. 59 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:41,760 Speaker 3: They are very different platforms, but they affect women and 60 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:46,680 Speaker 3: marginalized communities pretty deeply. So yeah, we had to yeah. 61 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, And one thing I've found in researching this is 62 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 2: you know that there are those problems that you wouldn't 63 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,920 Speaker 2: surprise you that exist on all of them, but they 64 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:59,920 Speaker 2: are distinct, which is interesting, right, So I wanted to 65 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:04,280 Speaker 2: ask you, Samantha, what is your experience with Reddit. 66 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 3: It is so if I had to put a percentage, 67 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:14,480 Speaker 3: I probably mess with it about ten percent of its utilities, 68 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 3: I guess you can say. And I say this in 69 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,479 Speaker 3: that I never had a Reddit account. I don't even 70 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,120 Speaker 3: know how to work Reddit, and I say this as yes, 71 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:26,080 Speaker 3: it sounds like I am an aged boomer. But the 72 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 3: problem about Reddit for me is I don't understand the 73 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:33,320 Speaker 3: way it stacks. So you get the original post and 74 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:36,080 Speaker 3: in the comments, and you can't just search from what 75 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:40,039 Speaker 3: I gather, So it's very very foreign concept to me. 76 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:46,560 Speaker 3: I do enjoy the concept of it because I can 77 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:50,400 Speaker 3: learn about Reddit posts through other platforms. So typically how 78 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:54,000 Speaker 3: I read Reddit posts is through Twitter someone that brings 79 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 3: it about and be like, hey, look at this Reddit 80 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:58,200 Speaker 3: post and I'm like, okay, cool, and or from my partner, 81 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,560 Speaker 3: who was an enthusiast when it to Reddit, has probably 82 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,279 Speaker 3: known more about it than anything, has a lot of 83 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 3: things that they love about it and will show me posts, 84 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:10,080 Speaker 3: will save post for me. When it comes to a dog, 85 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:14,359 Speaker 3: videos that are cute, fun laugh so that there's a 86 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:17,599 Speaker 3: thing about like contagious laughter. There's a whole channel like 87 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:20,240 Speaker 3: he loves that, so he'll send me things like that. 88 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 3: But I've also heard so many horror stories and I'm like, no, 89 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 3: I don't I'm not gonna mess with that. I don't 90 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 3: want to know. There are a few that I will 91 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:29,680 Speaker 3: like I have subscribed to and then we're going to 92 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,880 Speaker 3: talk about it. But I do follow that. Am I 93 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:35,599 Speaker 3: the ass reddit twitter feed so that I can read 94 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:39,720 Speaker 3: that way? But yeah, that is that is the depth 95 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,520 Speaker 3: of my Reddit experience. What about you? 96 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:43,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm similar. 97 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:47,599 Speaker 2: I've always had a hesitance around Reddit, even though I 98 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 2: have friends who are women who love it, and it's 99 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,640 Speaker 2: kind of a running joke that they're always like, I 100 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:54,560 Speaker 2: saw this on Reddit, I saw this on Reddit, or 101 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,720 Speaker 2: today I checked this the read on Reddit. But I've 102 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:58,839 Speaker 2: always been hesitant about it because of some of the 103 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,880 Speaker 2: things we're going to talk about, some of which has 104 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,080 Speaker 2: been overblown and some of which has not. And I 105 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,920 Speaker 2: remember when I first was working on this stuff, Mom, 106 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:07,680 Speaker 2: I've never told you YouTube channel. They asked me, like, 107 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:10,120 Speaker 2: you should go post in Reddit, and I was like, 108 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,960 Speaker 2: I don't know anything about Reddit, but I can tell 109 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 2: you as someone who doesn't have a Reddit account, if 110 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:17,599 Speaker 2: I just come in as a company, you can't even 111 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,839 Speaker 2: post it unless you have enough karma points. By the way, 112 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:22,400 Speaker 2: it's not gonna look good. It's not gonna look good 113 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,080 Speaker 2: for me. It's not gonna look good for us, so 114 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 2: we're not gonna do it. 115 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:26,479 Speaker 1: And we did. 116 00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:30,279 Speaker 3: That means you're posing as a Reddit person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 117 00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:32,799 Speaker 3: Did you know there is a Reddit thread about stuff 118 00:06:32,839 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 3: I've never told you? Yeah? So I found it a 119 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,200 Speaker 3: while ago when I was researching everything. It just kind 120 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:44,400 Speaker 3: of the one I found so genuinely like, not mean. 121 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:46,839 Speaker 3: It was just about the changing of hosts and it 122 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:50,560 Speaker 3: just updates. Oh okay, as that it changes it seems. 123 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:53,480 Speaker 3: I did see a few people comment about why what's happening? 124 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,400 Speaker 3: So that people trying to answer questions, I'd just linger 125 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:57,480 Speaker 3: for long because I was scared. 126 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:02,760 Speaker 1: Oh wow, listeners, let us know we should check that out. 127 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 2: We're speaking of I uh again. Forever ago, when Bridget 128 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 2: and I did those episodes on fan fiction, a bunch 129 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,640 Speaker 2: of you wrote in and said there are fan fiction 130 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:18,520 Speaker 2: communities on Reddit, which surprised me, but actually pretty thriving 131 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:19,880 Speaker 2: fan fiction communities. 132 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 1: I did. I have read fan fiction. 133 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:25,400 Speaker 2: On Reddit when I was younger, in my early fan 134 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:26,679 Speaker 2: fiction days, and I read. 135 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 3: The scary post it on. 136 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 1: Yeah and people can. 137 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:34,240 Speaker 2: I think there's collections there and people post but I 138 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 2: read one that was a Silent Hill too fan fiction, 139 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:38,880 Speaker 2: and it's legitimately one of the scariest things I ever read, 140 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:39,720 Speaker 2: and I never went back. 141 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:43,360 Speaker 1: No, scared so badly. 142 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 2: Okay, author though, I know, I know, And kudos is 143 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:49,280 Speaker 2: the thing you give to authors that you like. 144 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 1: On answer, I'm so hipps, you are so hip. 145 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:57,119 Speaker 3: I feel like I just completely decimated that. 146 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:05,560 Speaker 2: I do also know because of one of said friends 147 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:10,040 Speaker 2: that she'll always update me on her there's a last 148 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:11,920 Speaker 2: of us to hate Reddit. 149 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:12,800 Speaker 1: She'll update me on that. 150 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:13,760 Speaker 3: Oh no. 151 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:17,400 Speaker 2: And she also I've told you this, Samantha, she hates 152 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:21,640 Speaker 2: onions and she's on like a I Hate onions reddit 153 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:26,440 Speaker 2: sub reddit. One time it was infiltrated by people who 154 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:29,040 Speaker 2: love onions, and that's one of my very favorite things. 155 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:34,319 Speaker 3: There's a lot of battles, it seems on Reddit. 156 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:37,880 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, yes, And from what I gather, a 157 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:41,120 Speaker 2: lot of it is kind of done in fun. Ecolectic 158 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:44,480 Speaker 2: was a word I saw a lot spirits, so I 159 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:48,400 Speaker 2: believe these pro onion people it was in good fun, 160 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:53,080 Speaker 2: I hope. And then also fan fiction again, there's a 161 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,920 Speaker 2: popular trope and fan fiction where like your favorite fictional 162 00:08:55,960 --> 00:09:00,280 Speaker 2: characters will use modern day technologies and so I've a 163 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:00,719 Speaker 2: few that. 164 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:03,680 Speaker 1: Are am I the ass but with Star Wars characters. 165 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:06,719 Speaker 2: So one is like Darth Vader being my son was 166 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:08,960 Speaker 2: being particularly annoying, so I cut off his hand. 167 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,520 Speaker 1: Am I. They asked something like that. 168 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 3: Okay, I know that they have a huge following us. 169 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:17,000 Speaker 3: In fact, they're podcasts that are made up just to 170 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:20,640 Speaker 3: read off, oh verticts to post off of am I 171 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 3: the app. So whoever started that is a genius. 172 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,040 Speaker 2: Yes, and we are, as you said, going to be 173 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:27,880 Speaker 2: talking about a lot of that. We have some examples 174 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:30,000 Speaker 2: because there's interesting things and this was one of the 175 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,200 Speaker 2: reasons it was just your idea to talk about this 176 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:36,960 Speaker 2: is it's kind of spotlighted a lot of our still 177 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:41,600 Speaker 2: latent sexism and especially heterosexual relationships. 178 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:43,920 Speaker 1: So get ready for that. 179 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:47,000 Speaker 3: Be pumped about that. 180 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,360 Speaker 2: Yes, but before we get into that, let's break down 181 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:54,200 Speaker 2: some of the basics here. So a brief explainer on Reddit, 182 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:56,439 Speaker 2: which is called the front page of the Internet. And 183 00:09:56,480 --> 00:10:01,040 Speaker 2: it's called that because you read it on Reddit, which 184 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,920 Speaker 2: I never never knew that never. 185 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,880 Speaker 1: Wow, that makes me feel better and I was like, oh. 186 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:09,880 Speaker 3: No, I just knew it never. It's kind of one 187 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:11,720 Speaker 3: of those games that you play when you have that 188 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:13,240 Speaker 3: you know, they don't actually spell it out, but the 189 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:16,080 Speaker 3: sounds and you're supposed to figure out the sentence. That's 190 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:17,800 Speaker 3: this level. I would have never thought that. 191 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 1: Yep, same read. 192 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:24,240 Speaker 2: It was founded by three University of Virginia students in 193 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:29,720 Speaker 2: two thousand and five, Steve Huffman, Alexis o'hannian with Aaron Schwartz, 194 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:33,320 Speaker 2: and I put with because his role is disputed and 195 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,720 Speaker 2: there's a lot of drama. If we were a different podcast, 196 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 2: we could break down, but we are not that podcast. 197 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,920 Speaker 2: But if you want to look it up, so much 198 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,800 Speaker 2: drama in the leadership of Reddit, Oh my goodness. A 199 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,440 Speaker 2: year later it was acquired by conte Nast, although I 200 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:48,079 Speaker 2: did read that they used a lot of fake accounts 201 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:49,800 Speaker 2: to make it look like it was more used than. 202 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 3: It actually interesting. 203 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:58,320 Speaker 2: But yeah, its value has skyrocketed since then, And if 204 00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:01,120 Speaker 2: you are unaware, it's essentially a hue, huge depository of 205 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:04,880 Speaker 2: forums where people can post content and comment and vote 206 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:09,120 Speaker 2: on other people's post upvoter, down vote. It's divided into 207 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:13,360 Speaker 2: over a million specific communities or forums called subreddits, which 208 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:18,400 Speaker 2: are labeled as our slash whatever topic, and these subreddits 209 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:21,200 Speaker 2: can cover pretty much anything, and we're talking like niche 210 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:25,319 Speaker 2: stuff like this onion thing, I like, very very niche, 211 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:29,440 Speaker 2: but also, as discussed in the past episodes, things like 212 00:11:29,679 --> 00:11:32,720 Speaker 2: men's rights activists, users and content the red pills. So 213 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,920 Speaker 2: we've talked about Reddit quite a bit on here, just 214 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:41,040 Speaker 2: never specifically. Certain criteria must be met in order to 215 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:44,000 Speaker 2: create a subreddit. Basically, you have to have a fairly 216 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,840 Speaker 2: active account that's over thirty days old, and a certain 217 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:51,120 Speaker 2: number of Karma points determined by upvotes and down votes. 218 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:53,840 Speaker 2: But apparently the exact number is a Reddit secret, which I'm. 219 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:58,720 Speaker 1: Like, how, what's that? Okay, it's bias, I know, I'm like, hmmm. 220 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:05,200 Speaker 2: These subreddits are managed by volunteer moderators also called mods. Uh. 221 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:09,080 Speaker 2: They can control various appearance aspects of a subreddit and 222 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:13,360 Speaker 2: the content that is allowed, even removing some are banning users. 223 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:17,280 Speaker 2: The whole thing is managed by Reddit employees called admins, 224 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:21,160 Speaker 2: that can ban users, demote mods, and even get rid 225 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:26,360 Speaker 2: of whole subreddits. A lot of Reddit terminology comes in abbreviations, 226 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:28,920 Speaker 2: and some of the ones, some of the big ones 227 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:31,240 Speaker 2: you may have heard, and some of them that we're 228 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:33,840 Speaker 2: going to dig into more are Ama asked me anything 229 00:12:34,559 --> 00:12:36,960 Speaker 2: and A I T A, R AM, I the ass. 230 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:40,839 Speaker 1: But it's just like so many and. 231 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,640 Speaker 3: I don't understand them, and I have to sit there 232 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:49,520 Speaker 3: and stare at them, going okay, what Yeah, so they 233 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,720 Speaker 3: asked me anything I didn't know. I knew the aum 234 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:54,599 Speaker 3: A part, you know, That's what I was just so, 235 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:57,280 Speaker 3: you know, uh huh, because I don't know Reddit. And 236 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:59,520 Speaker 3: the only time I oversee this are when celebrities get 237 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:02,880 Speaker 3: on people are super excited or like authors and that 238 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:04,960 Speaker 3: which sounds like a great idea. It seems like a 239 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,720 Speaker 3: really smart thing, but I know there's been a lot 240 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:08,880 Speaker 3: of trouble where they've had to shut things down. Yeah, 241 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:11,559 Speaker 3: that's a whole different conversation. But you know what, It's 242 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:14,520 Speaker 3: often used for philanthropic fundraisers and a lot of the 243 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:18,640 Speaker 3: users love it, calling it fun, eccentric place to share content, 244 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,640 Speaker 3: and I've heard that. But like everything, Reddit is not 245 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,760 Speaker 3: without its issues, and we've talked about it before. One 246 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,640 Speaker 3: that we're not going to really get into today but 247 00:13:26,679 --> 00:13:32,320 Speaker 3: we've discussed in brief before is internet vigilantism data collection. 248 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:35,880 Speaker 3: Have been once said Reddit knows the dark secrets of 249 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,800 Speaker 3: its users, and it was later discovered he'd tend't Russian 250 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,960 Speaker 3: ConTroll activity on the site, which is a concern right 251 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,679 Speaker 3: now for a lot of these platforms. During the twenty 252 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:48,440 Speaker 3: twenty George Floyd protest, eight hundred moderators called for the 253 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:51,520 Speaker 3: banning of the sexist and racist subreddits and hate speech, 254 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,520 Speaker 3: and in June of that year they banned somewhere around 255 00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:58,960 Speaker 3: two thousand subreddits, including the subreddit are slash gender critical 256 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:03,720 Speaker 3: are just a urf subreddit. Some of the bands drew 257 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:08,640 Speaker 3: complaints around censorship, especially politically. Just this year, the company 258 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:12,040 Speaker 3: banned the word groomer when used as a slur against 259 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:16,760 Speaker 3: LGBTQ plus folks. They also introduced AI tools to find 260 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:20,560 Speaker 3: hate speech, but posters have found ways around it, which 261 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:24,080 Speaker 3: is hard to keep up with. In twenty twenty one, Ultraviolet, 262 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:28,040 Speaker 3: which friend of the show Bridget Todd works with, closely, 263 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:32,160 Speaker 3: found Reddit had a C on this sexism report card 264 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,000 Speaker 3: and this was the highest grade of the social media 265 00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:39,080 Speaker 3: platforms they surveyed, which makes me sad. 266 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:42,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, it was. It was not pretty. It was not 267 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:43,640 Speaker 1: pretty a. 268 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:47,480 Speaker 3: Ce yay passing. But to be fair, and again I 269 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:50,400 Speaker 3: say this with like because this is also part of 270 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,160 Speaker 3: the conversation we were having and talking about doing this episode. 271 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:56,360 Speaker 3: Reddit seems like a fairly better space for women to 272 00:14:56,520 --> 00:15:00,440 Speaker 3: get sound advice because we talked about them during the 273 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:04,600 Speaker 3: the rebels of the abortion movement, more so than some 274 00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:06,680 Speaker 3: of the other platforms. But yeah, see. 275 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:10,600 Speaker 2: Damn yeah, And you should look it up listeners if 276 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,520 Speaker 2: you haven't seen it, because it breaks down by category 277 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:16,400 Speaker 2: and then averaged out, so C was the average and 278 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:20,200 Speaker 2: it got an F in other like any specific categories, 279 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:37,000 Speaker 2: but like right, see overall, and this gets kind of 280 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 2: complicated because there's been a lot of phases of this, 281 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:41,840 Speaker 2: so we're we're going to jump around a little bit. 282 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 2: But beginning in twenty fourteen, read It enacted policies banning 283 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:52,600 Speaker 2: harassment involuntary sexualization and banned several forums focused on bigotry 284 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:58,520 Speaker 2: or harassment, including subreddits targeting gay, fat, and black people. Notably, 285 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:03,680 Speaker 2: this happened under the extremely controversial and short lived leadership 286 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:06,360 Speaker 2: of Ellen Powe and whoa is there a lot of 287 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,880 Speaker 2: drama around that. Depending on what you read, she is 288 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:13,800 Speaker 2: either an absolute dictator or a scapegoat who did her best, 289 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,000 Speaker 2: but it cannot be denied there was a lot of 290 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:20,400 Speaker 2: sexist talk around her, and she received rape and death threats. 291 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:25,480 Speaker 2: While she was serving this position, a lot of discussion 292 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:28,840 Speaker 2: around free speech and censorship happened under her. Basically, the 293 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:32,600 Speaker 2: guy she was serving for as interim he. 294 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:37,920 Speaker 1: Went on Reddit and like, let loose and you can. 295 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:40,680 Speaker 2: Read all of these comments about it, but he was 296 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:42,800 Speaker 2: basically like, like, she was in a bad position. 297 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:47,280 Speaker 1: She wasn't the one to blame for all of these problems. 298 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,520 Speaker 2: Everyone had, and leadership who was to blame should have 299 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:51,480 Speaker 2: come forward and said that, and they didn't. And I 300 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:54,080 Speaker 2: know people are still mad about it, but essentially that's 301 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:58,160 Speaker 2: the vibe I got. That's definitely what he said, because 302 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,040 Speaker 2: a lot of this happened around the alleged no. I mean, 303 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:05,800 Speaker 2: somebody was a very popular Reddit employee was fired and 304 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,760 Speaker 2: she was a woman, and people blamed Ellen Powell. 305 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:12,000 Speaker 1: But according to what I've read, it was not her decision. 306 00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:15,440 Speaker 2: But that didn't stop the higher ups from letting her 307 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:16,199 Speaker 2: take the blame. 308 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:18,880 Speaker 1: So that's a bigger thing. 309 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:21,000 Speaker 2: But I did find that interesting because so many things 310 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:25,840 Speaker 2: popped up about it when I was researching this, and 311 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:30,040 Speaker 2: after hashtag me too our slash in cells was taken 312 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:35,280 Speaker 2: down in late twenty seventeen. At the time, people on 313 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:38,760 Speaker 2: this subreddit were arguing that rape is just sex, but 314 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:42,480 Speaker 2: also that reverse rate men who wanted sex but weren't 315 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,879 Speaker 2: having it should be a part of the discussion around 316 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:48,920 Speaker 2: me too. A member posed as a woman in a 317 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,800 Speaker 2: legal advice subreddit to try to get advice for getting 318 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:56,520 Speaker 2: away with rape. And this whole thing spawned our slash 319 00:17:56,560 --> 00:18:00,399 Speaker 2: in cell tears, which tracks in cell extremist and I 320 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:01,960 Speaker 2: think we've talked about that before, but I know from 321 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:05,600 Speaker 2: my friends read that one. In twenty eighteen, the company 322 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:10,040 Speaker 2: introduced new policies to minimize harassment, including hiding post messages 323 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:13,040 Speaker 2: and comments from selected users, as well as new guidelines 324 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,680 Speaker 2: around banning content that called for violence. 325 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:21,760 Speaker 3: All right, didn't fourtune come off of Reddit? Essentially they 326 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:25,600 Speaker 3: were banned from that, so they started their own that's. 327 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,200 Speaker 1: I believe, So I believe. 328 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,320 Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, I know we talked about it before 329 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:32,560 Speaker 3: when we talked about in cells, So you know, kind 330 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:34,960 Speaker 3: of good. I guess not that fortane exists, but they're 331 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:37,919 Speaker 3: not all Reddit, but yeah, that's a whole different conversation again. 332 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,720 Speaker 3: According to some resources, Reddit was the seventh most popular 333 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:45,840 Speaker 3: website in twenty twenty one, and the nineteenth most popular globally. 334 00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:48,280 Speaker 3: In twenty eighteen, they were giving about one hundred and 335 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:52,240 Speaker 3: ten million one hundred and ten million users monthly, so 336 00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:55,639 Speaker 3: it's inspired other sites like imager Imager, I don't know 337 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,320 Speaker 3: how to say this, however, an estimated seventy four percent 338 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:02,320 Speaker 3: of the Reddit users are actually men, though it's predominantly 339 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:05,720 Speaker 3: left leaning and young, which surprises me. Less than nineteen 340 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:08,320 Speaker 3: percent are right leaning and only one percent are over 341 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:12,840 Speaker 3: sixty five, which, again, yeah, as a forty seven year old, 342 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:13,960 Speaker 3: I don't touch that. 343 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,560 Speaker 2: This is one of those things that makes sense when 344 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:20,880 Speaker 2: I thought about it, but when I again, I think 345 00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:24,639 Speaker 2: it's because bad actors get so much news media and 346 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:28,680 Speaker 2: they're so bad that I'm afraid to use Reddit because 347 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:31,080 Speaker 2: of them, even if they're small, even if they're a 348 00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:36,880 Speaker 2: small subset. That I just had this assumption that there 349 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,520 Speaker 2: was going to be a lot more right leaning people. 350 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:41,520 Speaker 2: But it does make sense because, well, some things we're 351 00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:45,240 Speaker 2: going to talk about, So we did want to focus 352 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:49,840 Speaker 2: specifically on some of the issues that women and other 353 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:54,840 Speaker 2: intersectionalities and marginalized communities face on Reddit, starting with moderators. 354 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:58,679 Speaker 2: So in the wake of Me Too, some moderators and 355 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:02,359 Speaker 2: subs like are slash band female Hate really tackled banning 356 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:06,080 Speaker 2: sexist content on Reddit, including first time mods, so maybe 357 00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:10,080 Speaker 2: they were joining because of this. Subreddits like r slash 358 00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:15,359 Speaker 2: abused sluts, r slash Raping Women, Our slash against Women's Rights, 359 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:20,600 Speaker 2: and our slash deadly Erotica were things that they found 360 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:24,679 Speaker 2: and raised their hand about. There's our slash Mother Daughter, 361 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:28,200 Speaker 2: which is a subreddit dedicated to posting pictures of mothers 362 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,879 Speaker 2: and daughters and describing what the poster would like to 363 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:35,360 Speaker 2: do to them sexually. There's another where men create ai 364 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:38,840 Speaker 2: girlfriends are mean to them and then post about it 365 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:44,240 Speaker 2: on Reddit. There's Tributes Delivered, which is basically messaging women 366 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:49,680 Speaker 2: in underage girls with unsolicited pictures they'd masturbated and ejaculated. 367 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:50,399 Speaker 1: On, and then posting pictures of that. 368 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:55,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, many of these have had hundreds of thousands of followers, 369 00:20:56,600 --> 00:21:01,400 Speaker 2: but these mods, who again are volunteers, report being overwhelmed 370 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,959 Speaker 2: by the emotional toll, and a lot of the mods 371 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:06,840 Speaker 2: fighting this sexism are women, and a lot of them 372 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:10,679 Speaker 2: end up leaving. Mods have also reported feeling ignored and 373 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:14,120 Speaker 2: unsupported by the company when they do raise concerns are 374 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:20,520 Speaker 2: flag material, so it feels kind of hopeless almost and 375 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:23,080 Speaker 2: on top of that, they don't have a great record 376 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:27,240 Speaker 2: outside of the Anglo sphere or English speaking world of 377 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:31,320 Speaker 2: controlling hate speech, to say the least. The company says 378 00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:34,320 Speaker 2: it's aiming to combat this by hiring more non English speakers, 379 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,840 Speaker 2: amongst other things. Many have spoken out about how the 380 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:42,360 Speaker 2: unpaid moderator model has its limits, leading to further extremism, 381 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,640 Speaker 2: and it is worth noting that when a subreddit is banned, 382 00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:51,040 Speaker 2: the redditors often migrate to another subreddit or maybe even 383 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:54,879 Speaker 2: another website. But there is a really big vibe of 384 00:21:55,119 --> 00:22:00,000 Speaker 2: you know, you don't like it, you can leave and 385 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,360 Speaker 2: oo here we're getting into some of the comments. 386 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:06,320 Speaker 1: So just that's not your thing today, I understand. 387 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:10,320 Speaker 2: So here's an example of the comments some women mods 388 00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:13,639 Speaker 2: reported receiving. I want you to get cancer because I 389 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,440 Speaker 2: want to see your own body killing you. I want 390 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:19,640 Speaker 2: you to get cancer, your mother, sister, brother, father, grandparents. 391 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 2: I want them all to get cancer, and when they 392 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,440 Speaker 2: open their mouths, I want to piss in them. 393 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:28,040 Speaker 1: I hate you, you nasty, disgusting slut. 394 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,439 Speaker 2: The in Gadget article that included this quote disclosed that 395 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:35,439 Speaker 2: every mod they interviewed for this piece had received a 396 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:36,560 Speaker 2: death threat every one of. 397 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:40,920 Speaker 3: Them, right right, And I don't know any I guess 398 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,560 Speaker 3: we could even look about it, but like, read it 399 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:45,760 Speaker 3: in itself, how does it make money me? 400 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,119 Speaker 2: You know, I think they make it verse so they 401 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,400 Speaker 2: read it as tears. They have one tier where you pay, 402 00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:53,800 Speaker 2: they have advertising. 403 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:57,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, because I'm wondering about for the moderators, like for 404 00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:01,439 Speaker 3: TikTok creators and Instagram creators who have followings, they make money. 405 00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:03,879 Speaker 3: Do the Reddit renators make money like that? 406 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:05,920 Speaker 1: I would love if somebody wrote in and let us know. 407 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,119 Speaker 1: I don't think so, yeah, let us know. 408 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:13,080 Speaker 3: If you're a big Reddit poster, Katie, Katie, let us know. 409 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:16,679 Speaker 3: Is it possible to get money like that? I don't know. 410 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:18,760 Speaker 3: I know, like you were saying that that you can 411 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,240 Speaker 3: make ads, you can pay for the ads that are 412 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:22,639 Speaker 3: on the side, which I'm like, oh yeah, yeah, that 413 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:26,160 Speaker 3: makes sense. But I'm wondering how it works for those 414 00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 3: who have a viral content or a get because I 415 00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,359 Speaker 3: know people follow each other on Reddit too, right, Like 416 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,199 Speaker 3: you're like, you may not know their name, but you 417 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,440 Speaker 3: follow this one person because you like what they're doing 418 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:38,040 Speaker 3: or something, and links to their other social media sites, 419 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:41,440 Speaker 3: which I've never seen people put reddits the Reddit handles 420 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:44,879 Speaker 3: when they're advertising that I'm on other platforms. Yeah, I 421 00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,840 Speaker 3: don't have to think about it. But yeah, here's another 422 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:50,679 Speaker 3: disgusting thing. Y'all ready for it. One of the biggest 423 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,560 Speaker 3: things that you'll come across when researching women's sexism and 424 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:57,800 Speaker 3: Reddit is something called creep shots. Sexual images take it 425 00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:01,240 Speaker 3: of women and post it without their knowledge, and similarly, 426 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:06,080 Speaker 3: nude photos. Yeah, some of these images are uploaded and 427 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:10,320 Speaker 3: sold again without consent. There have been some high profile 428 00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:12,960 Speaker 3: cases too. In twenty fourteen, there was a large leak 429 00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:17,399 Speaker 3: of nude pictures of women's celebrities posted non consensually. A 430 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:21,080 Speaker 3: couple of years later, Reddit shut down on subreddit posting 431 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:24,240 Speaker 3: deep fakes, which is a horrifying thought because, oh my god, 432 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:28,240 Speaker 3: of women in porn. Some revenge videos have been posted 433 00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,680 Speaker 3: and monetized without the women's consent, which still is a 434 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:33,800 Speaker 3: conversation because it's still not been a fully addressed. This 435 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:39,040 Speaker 3: trade in nudes is called collector culture. There's a horror 436 00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:41,480 Speaker 3: movie about that, folks. Yeah, and many of these pictures 437 00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:45,400 Speaker 3: often come with personal information like social media handles and addresses. 438 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:46,359 Speaker 3: Holy crap. 439 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:50,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's gross. And scary. Okay, so this brings us 440 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:55,840 Speaker 2: to am I the Ass. Reddit is kind of famous 441 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:59,360 Speaker 2: for hosting a lot of so called nice guys. And 442 00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:01,480 Speaker 2: you know that's the guy who claims he's so nice, 443 00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:04,560 Speaker 2: he does everything right. Why are women denying me in 444 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,160 Speaker 2: a romantic relationship? 445 00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,440 Speaker 1: And then everyone's like, the way you're terrible. 446 00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:12,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, because you're demanding someone like you because you're seemingly nice. 447 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:15,040 Speaker 3: But if you have to say you're nice, yeah, probably 448 00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:15,520 Speaker 3: not true. 449 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:19,359 Speaker 2: Yeah exactly. And I feel like this is that's part 450 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:22,240 Speaker 2: of what I had. And again I have friends who 451 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,399 Speaker 2: are women who love read it. This is just like 452 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,000 Speaker 2: my outsider. I don't know what for some reason I 453 00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:28,440 Speaker 2: thought this, but I was like, oh, that's where the 454 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:29,520 Speaker 2: nice guys go. 455 00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:33,640 Speaker 1: And I feel like, am I the Ass has. 456 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:37,199 Speaker 2: Become a lot of calling that out right, and we 457 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:40,480 Speaker 2: have a lot of examples for it. Okay, So from 458 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:43,200 Speaker 2: a Guardian article about a man in his thirties who 459 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:46,480 Speaker 2: frequented the red pill. So we're going to go through 460 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:50,160 Speaker 2: some of these am i ass posts and oh my goodness, 461 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:55,640 Speaker 2: oh my goodness. All right, so here's the quote Morpheus Manfred, 462 00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:59,480 Speaker 2: having spent my twenties looking for female companionship. I noticed 463 00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:01,600 Speaker 2: that the dating game wasn't what I was taught, what 464 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,120 Speaker 2: my parents prepared me for, and what I learned from movies. 465 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,400 Speaker 2: It was stacked against guys, and it was a very 466 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,679 Speaker 2: unpleasant experience. Over the past ten years, the flickiness of 467 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,880 Speaker 2: women has gotten worse. You'd meet a girl, hit it off, 468 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,480 Speaker 2: get her number, and agree to date, and either she'd 469 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:18,560 Speaker 2: no show or cancel right before I found myself putting 470 00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:21,640 Speaker 2: in all this effort for nothing. It was very defeating. 471 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,640 Speaker 2: It's not the way courting worked when my parents met. 472 00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:28,399 Speaker 2: What I saw in movies. We're having a good heart 473 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:31,160 Speaker 2: and being yourself as all you need. That's not what 474 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:34,639 Speaker 2: happens now. Good and nice guys aren't attractive anymore. The 475 00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:38,520 Speaker 2: manosphere fundamentally became a surrogate father for the life lessons 476 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:42,920 Speaker 2: I never got. So this man this actually was not 477 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,480 Speaker 2: from am I the asso. They were interviewing people about 478 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:49,320 Speaker 2: why did you get involved in this manosphere space? And 479 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:52,040 Speaker 2: so this was a quote from this user about it. 480 00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:55,880 Speaker 2: And it was an interesting article because some people made 481 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,360 Speaker 2: the point like maybe you know a lot of these 482 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,760 Speaker 2: dudes just need the sounding board to get it off 483 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:01,200 Speaker 2: their chests. 484 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:02,680 Speaker 1: And move on. But a lot of them don't. 485 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,680 Speaker 2: And that's something that we've talked about before, and this 486 00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:09,160 Speaker 2: whole like overall mindset like maybe, yeah, you just say 487 00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:10,359 Speaker 2: that and get it off your chest and move on. 488 00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:13,879 Speaker 2: But I feel like what we're talking about here is 489 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:18,840 Speaker 2: a bigger problem of how we think society should function 490 00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:22,040 Speaker 2: and where women the roles women should play. 491 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:26,120 Speaker 3: Right, and then also the ones that will play those 492 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,119 Speaker 3: roles don't meet your expectations because of A, B and 493 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:32,040 Speaker 3: C that you have placed upon that that's all different conversation, 494 00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:32,840 Speaker 3: but yes. 495 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,320 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, And so like this whole idea has gotten 496 00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:38,959 Speaker 2: intertwined with am I the Ass And that is one 497 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:40,360 Speaker 2: of the reasons, as we said, we want to talk 498 00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:43,119 Speaker 2: about this because that supreddit is so popular and it 499 00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:45,280 Speaker 2: has taken off, and as you said, it's got podcasts 500 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:49,480 Speaker 2: and Twitter handles and all the time I'm hearing like 501 00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,199 Speaker 2: did you see this am I the Ass? And as 502 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,520 Speaker 2: I said, it's really highlighted a lot of sexism going 503 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:58,640 Speaker 2: on and perhaps particularly in hetero relationships. And basically, yeah, 504 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:00,200 Speaker 2: if you haven't heard of it, it's a forum where 505 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:04,520 Speaker 2: people post problems or disagreements they've had with others and 506 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:06,360 Speaker 2: ask if they're the villain in the story, like am 507 00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:10,600 Speaker 2: I being unreasonable? Or is the other person or party 508 00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:11,560 Speaker 2: being unreasonable? 509 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,320 Speaker 3: Again, this is one of the only things that I 510 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:15,360 Speaker 3: look at when I'm looking at read it, and typically 511 00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:18,159 Speaker 3: i'll look at it through Twitter and or again a 512 00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:21,640 Speaker 3: podcast that pops up from TikTok, my God, Everything's Inner 513 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:25,240 Speaker 3: splices it. But then I will go and check it 514 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:27,320 Speaker 3: out and see what the comments are saying. Typically if 515 00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:29,600 Speaker 3: they have comments coming back, like there's some that's like 516 00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:32,719 Speaker 3: really entertaining. That's where George's the Cat came from. If 517 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:36,520 Speaker 3: you follow them on Twitter, who is a union loving 518 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:40,160 Speaker 3: a radical cat? Fantastic? But it started off with the 519 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:43,840 Speaker 3: fact that the coworker wanted to butter the cat. And again, 520 00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:45,720 Speaker 3: if you haven't read it, you should. I remember when 521 00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:48,160 Speaker 3: it first came out and everybody was on Twitter just 522 00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:51,040 Speaker 3: losing their mind because they're like, this has to be fake, 523 00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:54,440 Speaker 3: this has to be fake. And to that point, like 524 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:58,440 Speaker 3: George has now like thousands and thousands of followers and 525 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:00,280 Speaker 3: it's getting one to fights with people, and they also 526 00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:02,600 Speaker 3: had a problematic issue just recently. But hey, that's a 527 00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:06,280 Speaker 3: whole different conversation. It has all of these aspects to that. 528 00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:08,200 Speaker 3: But then you have the ones that are super serious, 529 00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:10,600 Speaker 3: to the point that people were like, oh, yo, you're 530 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:14,200 Speaker 3: gonna get murdered. Leave. How these posts go is literally 531 00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:17,080 Speaker 3: goes me. And then they give the age and their gender, 532 00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:21,200 Speaker 3: my husband or my partner age gender, explains the story. 533 00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:25,120 Speaker 3: You can write assole, not the ass. You're both asked 534 00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:27,480 Speaker 3: kind of the ass kind of thing, or these other 535 00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:30,160 Speaker 3: person is the ass. Like they give you these options, 536 00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:33,479 Speaker 3: which is nice, and then you explain things. But this 537 00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:36,440 Speaker 3: one woman that I read through was like really horrifying 538 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:39,960 Speaker 3: the fact that her husband's younger brother was very co 539 00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:43,240 Speaker 3: dependent on them, very needy, and there's something kind of off. 540 00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:47,200 Speaker 3: Turned out he was peeing on her stuff. We're pretty 541 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,360 Speaker 3: sure he abused the cat, all these things, and then 542 00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:52,160 Speaker 3: they found him, like he got kicked out, and everybody 543 00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:54,400 Speaker 3: felt sorry for him. The mother felt sorry for him, 544 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:59,080 Speaker 3: like the mother was enabling this younger brother, and everybody's like, 545 00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:00,640 Speaker 3: you don't need to worries, not a big deal. Then 546 00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:03,320 Speaker 3: later on they find her picture posted in his room 547 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:05,720 Speaker 3: with like all these marks on it and like he 548 00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:08,200 Speaker 3: had collected and stolen things from her with intent that 549 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,560 Speaker 3: he was going to hurt her, and then somewhere along 550 00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:12,920 Speaker 3: the lines, a niece came in, a young niece, like 551 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,360 Speaker 3: preteen niece came in the picture and he was like. 552 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,320 Speaker 3: Everybody was like, Okay, yeah, there's something wrong with this guy. 553 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,560 Speaker 3: And this woman would come back with follow ups and 554 00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:23,840 Speaker 3: updates about it, and then the last thing we find 555 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,920 Speaker 3: out is that he has been given a restraining order. 556 00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,520 Speaker 3: That was a huge fight and he is now under 557 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:33,280 Speaker 3: supervision because people were seriously scared, and I think the 558 00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:36,080 Speaker 3: cat didn't make it like it was this whole thing. 559 00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:38,920 Speaker 3: I was very upset. I think the people were so upset. 560 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:42,440 Speaker 3: But you have serious things like this, and a majority 561 00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:47,959 Speaker 3: of the am I asked posts are about relationships, as 562 00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:49,480 Speaker 3: you said, and a lot of it has like in 563 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:53,040 Speaker 3: law relationships, sister relationships. One of those was like talking 564 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:55,959 Speaker 3: about the fact that a sister in law, god, there 565 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,960 Speaker 3: was a lot of in laws, was making fun of 566 00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:01,320 Speaker 3: the husband who that was the in law who is 567 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,160 Speaker 3: a chef and she is a chef and he's an 568 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:06,000 Speaker 3: Asian chef, and she went in with making racist comments 569 00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:08,160 Speaker 3: about him being an Asian chef, to the point that 570 00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:12,120 Speaker 3: she got fired because like she worked at a training 571 00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:14,280 Speaker 3: like I think she worked at an Asian fusion restaurant 572 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:16,800 Speaker 3: and she was making fun of Asian cooks, so it 573 00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:18,960 Speaker 3: was like, oh damn, and she was not Asian. I 574 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,440 Speaker 3: think she was white from the post and it divided 575 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:24,160 Speaker 3: the entire family. And apparently the parents got divorced because 576 00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:26,960 Speaker 3: the mother was enabling like it was or the father 577 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:30,000 Speaker 3: was enabling the child. And that's where the racist like 578 00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:33,840 Speaker 3: came from, where racism was learned from. I guess, like 579 00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:36,600 Speaker 3: it was a whole thing and it just killed their relationship. 580 00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:39,200 Speaker 3: But you have advice in the columns like that, But 581 00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:41,280 Speaker 3: a lot of these are women coming and asking about 582 00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:44,719 Speaker 3: advice about their relationships and whether or not oftentimes am 583 00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:46,920 Speaker 3: I being cheated on? Was? Is kind of the conversation 584 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:50,280 Speaker 3: and about emotional affairs. It's the whole thing. But what 585 00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:53,200 Speaker 3: I've repeatedly seen is like the fact that they will 586 00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:56,000 Speaker 3: write these posts and people thought about like, you're not 587 00:31:56,000 --> 00:32:00,840 Speaker 3: the ass, but you need to leave because he is awful. 588 00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:03,360 Speaker 3: These are red flags. This is not going to change. 589 00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:05,720 Speaker 3: These are things blah blahlah blah, to the point like, yeah, 590 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:07,640 Speaker 3: all of the answers are typically yeah, you're not to 591 00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:10,200 Speaker 3: ask to get a divorce, get a divorce, get a divorce. 592 00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,440 Speaker 3: But some of these have been really empowering because a 593 00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,040 Speaker 3: lot of the women come back with thank you so 594 00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:17,200 Speaker 3: much for your advice. This really helped me see some 595 00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:19,360 Speaker 3: things I didn't really you know, think about this, and 596 00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,040 Speaker 3: you're right, this is going to be a bad thing, 597 00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:22,320 Speaker 3: and I need to lead like it was just a 598 00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:23,880 Speaker 3: whole thing. And the reason you and I were talking 599 00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:26,320 Speaker 3: about Reddit to begin with this because I've been seeing 600 00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:29,280 Speaker 3: more and more where women are coming to find a 601 00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:32,040 Speaker 3: crew of people to tell them what they can't see 602 00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:34,400 Speaker 3: for themselves in the middle of the situation, and it's 603 00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:37,840 Speaker 3: seemingly fairly empowering, especially the way they're c having this 604 00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:43,400 Speaker 3: conversation and really hopefully rectifying the situation. Of course, there's 605 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:45,640 Speaker 3: others where like the partners have seen it and they 606 00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:47,520 Speaker 3: respond and that's a whole drama, and so. 607 00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:50,600 Speaker 1: Well, that's good to hear. 608 00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:55,240 Speaker 2: I'm heartened to know that it's mostly people being like, hey, 609 00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:59,040 Speaker 2: you should get out instead of you know, a lot 610 00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,600 Speaker 2: of the victim blamings if we see yeah all the time, 611 00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,960 Speaker 2: and I'm not saying, you know, every post is the same, 612 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,600 Speaker 2: but you know, because I would hate for somebody to 613 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:08,920 Speaker 2: be in a vulnerable situation, and you're getting all these 614 00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:10,440 Speaker 2: Internet people making it worse. 615 00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:11,800 Speaker 1: So I'm happy to hear. 616 00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:15,240 Speaker 3: Typically I have not seen that as of yet. 617 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:33,120 Speaker 2: We do have some examples that we want to go over. 618 00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:36,200 Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. Okay, so here's a quote from medium 619 00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:40,280 Speaker 2: about this whole thing. It being am I the ass 620 00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:44,480 Speaker 2: is a microcosm of gendered entitlement, the story of American sexism, 621 00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:47,160 Speaker 2: told post by post. There's the guy furious with his 622 00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:49,440 Speaker 2: girlfriend for dressing up for a work soon, because how 623 00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:52,240 Speaker 2: dare she look nice for anyone but him? The husband 624 00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:54,800 Speaker 2: who wants to forbid his wife from breastfeeding in public, 625 00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:57,360 Speaker 2: The man who is mad that his wife, who has 626 00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:01,200 Speaker 2: just given birth, doesn't dress sexy anymore, and of course, 627 00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,360 Speaker 2: the one who feels betrayed that his wife keeps her 628 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:07,720 Speaker 2: own savings account. There's the man who needs complete silence 629 00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:10,120 Speaker 2: from his stay at home wife and two toddlers while 630 00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,960 Speaker 2: he works from home because quote, it's her job to 631 00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:16,040 Speaker 2: be silent and shut the kids up. The husband who 632 00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:18,759 Speaker 2: refuses to do any domestic work at all because his 633 00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:21,560 Speaker 2: wife isn't asking nicely enough. He also seems to think 634 00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:24,880 Speaker 2: his wife has a natural predilection for thankless activity. She 635 00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:27,120 Speaker 2: doesn't really rest, he wrote, that's. 636 00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:27,640 Speaker 1: Not her thing. 637 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,000 Speaker 2: The guy who wants his girlfriend to sell her house 638 00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:32,520 Speaker 2: because she bought it with money she earned while stripping. 639 00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:35,720 Speaker 2: And the man who walked out literally on his wife 640 00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:38,920 Speaker 2: when she got an ovarian cancer diagnosis. I had begged 641 00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:41,080 Speaker 2: her to have kids since we were twenty six, but 642 00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:43,880 Speaker 2: she refused for her career, he wrote, as a justification 643 00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:46,600 Speaker 2: for storming out of the doctor's office. It's not just 644 00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:49,520 Speaker 2: the stories themselves and how obviously awful they are that 645 00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:52,200 Speaker 2: stand out. What makes am I the Ass such a 646 00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:54,919 Speaker 2: special look into gender dynamics is that the men who 647 00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:58,960 Speaker 2: describe awful scenarios truly don't believe they've done anything wrong. 648 00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:02,080 Speaker 2: Sexism has fully lulled them into a sense of moral 649 00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:06,560 Speaker 2: superiority that blinds them to their own explicitly terrible behavior. 650 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:08,680 Speaker 3: Yes, and a lot of these. When you read it 651 00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:11,560 Speaker 3: or like this has to be made up, please told 652 00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:13,920 Speaker 3: me this is made up, because you really that blind 653 00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:17,920 Speaker 3: to see it this way. We had one where the 654 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,439 Speaker 3: woman was getting married picked out a dress his mother 655 00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:23,200 Speaker 3: because I love and law stuff. His mother didn't like 656 00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:25,080 Speaker 3: it and picked out another one and asked her to 657 00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:30,680 Speaker 3: get that one, and his excuses she doesn't have a daughter. Ohoes, oh, 658 00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:34,440 Speaker 3: and then she said, no, this is my dress. I 659 00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:36,759 Speaker 3: love it, and behind her back he took it and 660 00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:40,960 Speaker 3: exchanged it for the one that his mother picked out. Oh, 661 00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:42,440 Speaker 3: and couldn't figure out why she thought it was a 662 00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:47,520 Speaker 3: big deal. Wow wow, Yes. So here's another example outside 663 00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:51,320 Speaker 3: of that one from Selon could a poster named Away, 664 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:55,440 Speaker 3: performer on the popular am I the ass Ai Ta subreddit, 665 00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:58,839 Speaker 3: complained that his neighbor wouldn't cook dinner for him, which, 666 00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:01,120 Speaker 3: by the way, I did read this. After explaining that 667 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:03,800 Speaker 3: he's a thirty one year old single guy who doesn't 668 00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:05,880 Speaker 3: know how to cook, Away went on to write that 669 00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:08,760 Speaker 3: he has noticed that his neighbor, a woman named Katie, 670 00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:12,200 Speaker 3: cooks frequently and quote, it always smells amazing. So I 671 00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:14,719 Speaker 3: got the idea this is him, that I'd offer to 672 00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:16,840 Speaker 3: give her some money each week to cook a little 673 00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:20,440 Speaker 3: extra and bring it over to me, he continues. Unsurprisingly, 674 00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:25,160 Speaker 3: Katie said no, but Away was undeterred, asking quote if 675 00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:28,560 Speaker 3: she was sure, and upping the amount I was offering 676 00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:32,359 Speaker 3: until Katie realized the polite deferrals weren't getting the job. Done, 677 00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:34,080 Speaker 3: she said, I should get a housekeeper if that's what 678 00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:37,360 Speaker 3: I want. I remember seeing this and it was hilarious 679 00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:38,719 Speaker 3: that he kept defending this. 680 00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:43,640 Speaker 1: What a thing to ask somebody. 681 00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,399 Speaker 3: Asking once maybe'd be like, hey, can I pay you? 682 00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:51,200 Speaker 3: Because this was awesome, but then to continue as if 683 00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:55,040 Speaker 3: like that one no should have made it awkward and 684 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:56,600 Speaker 3: you should never want to see her again and you 685 00:36:56,600 --> 00:37:01,760 Speaker 3: should hide. Yeah, exactly, like never, like try to avoid 686 00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:04,919 Speaker 3: it at all cost, never leave the house again. 687 00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:07,520 Speaker 2: And the interesting thing about this one, this whole article 688 00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:12,759 Speaker 2: from Salon was about specifically cooking and ideas men seem 689 00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:15,720 Speaker 2: to have around women and cooking, and it included quotes 690 00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:18,320 Speaker 2: from women on other subreddits about how their boyfriends expect 691 00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:21,160 Speaker 2: them to cook or gave up cooking after they got married, 692 00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:25,320 Speaker 2: like perhaps they have cooked before marriage and then stopped 693 00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:29,239 Speaker 2: after they got married. One redditor told his girlfriend, I 694 00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:32,000 Speaker 2: honestly wouldn't mind having a housewife, and that she should 695 00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:35,800 Speaker 2: do that because while because she is quote certainly not stupid, 696 00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:40,120 Speaker 2: but isn't quite on my level. On top of that, 697 00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:43,319 Speaker 2: many of these posts showcase that men expect women to 698 00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:46,400 Speaker 2: cook from a young age, but to their standards and desires, 699 00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:49,120 Speaker 2: so like not what the woman who is cooking wants. 700 00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,760 Speaker 2: They want you to cook, they want the men want 701 00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:55,120 Speaker 2: you to cook what the men want, which I have 702 00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:59,480 Speaker 2: witnessed before in my life. The article also cited a 703 00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:02,799 Speaker 2: study that that married women do more domestic work than 704 00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:06,120 Speaker 2: single women, despite the fact that they have a partner who, 705 00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:09,400 Speaker 2: in theory, should be shouldering half the weight. And yes, 706 00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:12,520 Speaker 2: even women with jobs, and even women who are the 707 00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:14,640 Speaker 2: only ones in the relationship with jobs. 708 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:19,720 Speaker 3: Yep. Another quote from the article quote perhaps the most 709 00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:23,239 Speaker 3: boneheaded was the redditor who up top denies that he 710 00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:27,600 Speaker 3: is a quote sexist asshole, but is mad because his wife, 711 00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:29,600 Speaker 3: a stay at home mother of two who did not 712 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,040 Speaker 3: think it romantic that he enrolled her in quote into 713 00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:35,200 Speaker 3: a couple's cooking course with me as an anniversary present 714 00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:44,120 Speaker 3: so she could quote learn to cook properly. No. Oh, 715 00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:46,719 Speaker 3: there was also one about like bringing up them again, 716 00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:50,160 Speaker 3: the mother bringing up his mother into like like comparing 717 00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:51,879 Speaker 3: in her nagging. Oh it was the whole thing. 718 00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:56,480 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, here's another quote. One dditor who wrote in 719 00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:58,880 Speaker 2: who was clearly excited to be engaged to a woman 720 00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:01,719 Speaker 2: who loves too and cares a lot about health, so 721 00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:03,560 Speaker 2: she makes a lot of stuff from scratch that we 722 00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:06,879 Speaker 2: both eat and quote. Her place is super nice while 723 00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:10,920 Speaker 2: his is a mess. But when he swung by her 724 00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:14,080 Speaker 2: place one day quote to take some leftovers from home 725 00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:17,480 Speaker 2: for lunches, he discovered, to his outrage, my girlfriend has 726 00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:20,480 Speaker 2: a cleaning lady she never told me about. He unleashed 727 00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:23,000 Speaker 2: in her, saying I felt betrayed because I always thought 728 00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:26,080 Speaker 2: it was great that I was marrying someone super tidy 729 00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:28,640 Speaker 2: to balance it out by which he means to clean 730 00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:31,560 Speaker 2: up after him. And even though she tried to placate 731 00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:33,719 Speaker 2: him by saying it frees up more time to cook 732 00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:37,480 Speaker 2: stuff from scratch, he was furious that she hired someone 733 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:41,759 Speaker 2: to do something she could do herself. Luckily, the other 734 00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:44,200 Speaker 2: editors called him out, saying, this sounds like you were 735 00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:45,919 Speaker 2: getting married to get yourself a maid. 736 00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:53,640 Speaker 3: Noo, no, wow, yep, wow wow wow wow. 737 00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:56,439 Speaker 2: And yeah, as you said, from these articles, I read 738 00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:59,880 Speaker 2: about it, and all these instances were highlighting that hadling 739 00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:01,640 Speaker 2: and you could follow many of the comments. 740 00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:03,319 Speaker 1: Do rightly call out these things? 741 00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:08,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, I will say, like, I don't know if it's 742 00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:09,920 Speaker 3: just the way it's set up or what. But the 743 00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:15,279 Speaker 3: majority of the people who are voting and are commenting 744 00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:18,799 Speaker 3: are those who are in support of typically the right, 745 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:22,600 Speaker 3: meaning whoever's obviously the ass you can kind of see it. 746 00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:25,839 Speaker 3: There's sundays like hmm, they could both be the asshole here, 747 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:30,040 Speaker 3: like communication issues or whatever whatnot. But for the most part, 748 00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:32,800 Speaker 3: and again like the things that are posted on Twitter 749 00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:34,640 Speaker 3: are not always the things that are posted because they 750 00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:37,000 Speaker 3: have tons of injuries, by the way, tons and tons 751 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,959 Speaker 3: and tons. So it's good to see that though, I'm like, oh, yes, 752 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:41,920 Speaker 3: because a lot of these like the minute you read it, 753 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:45,360 Speaker 3: your blood boils and you're ready to fight, fight somebody. 754 00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:47,279 Speaker 3: Oh and all the means that come out of these 755 00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:50,000 Speaker 3: and gifts okay, just kiss okay. 756 00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:53,239 Speaker 2: And then, in a similar vein to all of this, 757 00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:56,280 Speaker 2: here's a quote from a She Knows article. One writitor 758 00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:59,840 Speaker 2: opened up about this process, sharing that her extremely hygienic 759 00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:02,840 Speaker 2: more on that later partner was horrified by the period 760 00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:05,319 Speaker 2: underwear she keeps on deck for when she's bleeding each 761 00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:07,439 Speaker 2: month and insisted she throw them out. 762 00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:08,840 Speaker 1: Quote. 763 00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:11,400 Speaker 2: He came across one of my pairs of panties that 764 00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:13,680 Speaker 2: I specifically only wear during that time of the month. 765 00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,640 Speaker 2: Certain ladies will understand that we keep panties separate for 766 00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:19,759 Speaker 2: periods than we do for when we aren't. AKA, I 767 00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:22,440 Speaker 2: have my ugly or maybe bloodstained pairs for my period 768 00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,480 Speaker 2: a my cute and well kempt ones for when I'm 769 00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:27,799 Speaker 2: not on my period. Anyways, upon seeing these, he told 770 00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:29,960 Speaker 2: me that I need to throw that pair away and 771 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:33,840 Speaker 2: that it's disgusting and unhygienic. He made quite a few 772 00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:37,040 Speaker 2: comments about how gross they are, despite them being clean 773 00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:41,600 Speaker 2: but just bloodstained from a previous period spotting situation. She 774 00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:43,640 Speaker 2: went on to say that when she tried to explain 775 00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:45,960 Speaker 2: that these are cleaned if a little stained pears that 776 00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:48,719 Speaker 2: exist for the express reason of getting stained, think a 777 00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:50,760 Speaker 2: T shirt you wear for painting the house or doing yardwork, 778 00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:54,040 Speaker 2: he responded poorly and made her feel terrible. He also 779 00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:56,240 Speaker 2: tried to claim that he was pretty sure other girls 780 00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:58,279 Speaker 2: people with periods don't do that. 781 00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:02,560 Speaker 3: Oh, he needs to be single forever, just to be 782 00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:05,000 Speaker 3: single if you especially you know, if you're dating women. 783 00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:08,080 Speaker 3: I found it funny because there was another post similar 784 00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:10,640 Speaker 3: to this, not exactly where she had gone on first 785 00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:13,560 Speaker 3: or second date new dates. She'd gotten on her period, 786 00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:17,200 Speaker 3: so she needed a tampon. Uh, so she used, you know, 787 00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:19,839 Speaker 3: her applicator, she put it in. I believe she put 788 00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:22,239 Speaker 3: it in her and wrapped it up. You know, if 789 00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:23,799 Speaker 3: you've used a tampon, you know what I'm talking about. 790 00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:25,800 Speaker 3: You can get back in the wrapper and if you're embarrassed, 791 00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:27,520 Speaker 3: you hide it because you try to do all the things. 792 00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:29,640 Speaker 3: And then you know, in the trash can. Apparently the 793 00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:32,160 Speaker 3: dude dug in his trash found it and told her 794 00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:34,600 Speaker 3: that she was not welcome and that she should not 795 00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:36,359 Speaker 3: have put that in her in his trash can. 796 00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:37,480 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. 797 00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:40,520 Speaker 3: And she was like what she was upset that she 798 00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:43,799 Speaker 3: threw away in the trash gear, Oh my gosh, properly. Also, 799 00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:47,000 Speaker 3: he wouldn't dug through It's yeah, whole thing. 800 00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:49,680 Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of these are showcasing. 801 00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:50,239 Speaker 3: The stupidity of men. 802 00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:58,759 Speaker 2: Well yeah, but also how much generalized statement men women 803 00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:01,960 Speaker 2: are expected to hide, Like everything we're expected to hide, 804 00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,680 Speaker 2: how much work it takes to do something. We're expected 805 00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:09,360 Speaker 2: to hide These totally normal body functions were expected to 806 00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:16,360 Speaker 2: put up with your the dude's mom wanting this dress, 807 00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:19,520 Speaker 2: and that means that you don't matter in this equation 808 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,160 Speaker 2: even though it's your dress. Like, I feel like there's 809 00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:26,560 Speaker 2: so much stuff where it's like what you want doesn't matter, 810 00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:29,719 Speaker 2: and hide from me anything that I don't want to see. 811 00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:32,240 Speaker 3: Right, I mean there's a lot that you were like, wow, 812 00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:34,520 Speaker 3: you really thought this was real life? Who really thinks 813 00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:37,719 Speaker 3: that this is what happens? Like you really want the 814 00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:41,680 Speaker 3: Disney version of a princess from the nineteen sixties? 815 00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:44,960 Speaker 2: Mm hmm, they want it's I mean it's like a 816 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:49,760 Speaker 2: mom or a maid or exactly based on these popes. 817 00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:51,120 Speaker 1: That's just the vibe I'm. 818 00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:53,520 Speaker 3: Getting, right, And I will say, like, it's not all 819 00:43:53,719 --> 00:43:56,359 Speaker 3: like that. We've talked about many things. I just read 820 00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:59,319 Speaker 3: one about a man who wanted to make his own 821 00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:01,759 Speaker 3: birthday came she got upset and there was this whole 822 00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:04,360 Speaker 3: like in between line and she was absolutely in the wrong. 823 00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:08,400 Speaker 3: But like, there are other conversations that are had that 824 00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,720 Speaker 3: you're like, okay, huge red flags. At least human decency 825 00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:17,239 Speaker 3: seems to be central in many of the followers and commenters. 826 00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:19,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's good. I'm happy to hear that. 827 00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:24,160 Speaker 2: And just some brief like wrapping up comments because you know, 828 00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:27,360 Speaker 2: we focused on a lot of the grim stuff, but 829 00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:29,800 Speaker 2: you know, there's a lot of really great stuff about Reddit. 830 00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:32,880 Speaker 2: It really is, and this misogyny that we have been 831 00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:36,359 Speaker 2: talking about harms everyone, and Reddit has in cases like this, 832 00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:40,040 Speaker 2: perhaps shone a light on it. And it impacts how 833 00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:43,799 Speaker 2: women in non binary folks interactor don't on this platform. 834 00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:48,360 Speaker 2: It influences other offline behavior. But yeah, it is not 835 00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:50,920 Speaker 2: all bad at all. 836 00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:51,759 Speaker 3: Right, And as in fact, when you read through some 837 00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:54,839 Speaker 3: of the statistics, again the sea is not great higher 838 00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:58,520 Speaker 3: than other platforms. That's really disconcerting in itself, but a 839 00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:02,200 Speaker 3: lot of it also has found homes for communities that 840 00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:05,400 Speaker 3: are really, really genuinely great. We talked about the aunties 841 00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,960 Speaker 3: helping people in the anti abortion things that are happening 842 00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,680 Speaker 3: in the US, and we've talked about that this is 843 00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:13,440 Speaker 3: such a great idea. Again, a lot of these good 844 00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:15,760 Speaker 3: intentions can be harmful, so you have to be careful 845 00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,080 Speaker 3: with that. But a lot of these also come together, 846 00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:21,600 Speaker 3: like with the voting things, they've had conversations about trying 847 00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:24,240 Speaker 3: to link people in order to get the right access, 848 00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:27,160 Speaker 3: the right communications. So Reddit is can be an amazing 849 00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:31,919 Speaker 3: thing again, great dog videos, great contagious laughter videos, other 850 00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:33,719 Speaker 3: things that I'm like, oh god, I'd never want to 851 00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:37,480 Speaker 3: see that again. And why yeah, yes, I feel like 852 00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:40,400 Speaker 3: it does really well. Maybe I'm wrong again, I'm not 853 00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:46,319 Speaker 3: very good into I'm not very into Reddit in the 854 00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:49,600 Speaker 3: platform in itself. I'm hovering around all around it, apparently 855 00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:52,520 Speaker 3: at least outside of it. But you do see that 856 00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:54,920 Speaker 3: the moderators who are there seem to do a good 857 00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:57,520 Speaker 3: job in making sure the community stays with it in 858 00:45:57,560 --> 00:46:00,440 Speaker 3: its boundaries, so they will quickly take things off and 859 00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:03,279 Speaker 3: or pause things or lock things down. I feel like 860 00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:05,279 Speaker 3: they have better access to that than I've seen other 861 00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:07,320 Speaker 3: social media platforms. 862 00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:10,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, which has its pluses and minuses, but I 863 00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:13,040 Speaker 2: think when it works, it's great. And also just there's 864 00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:16,960 Speaker 2: some hilarious stuff that you could find very eccentric, eclectic 865 00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:20,279 Speaker 2: stuff on Reddit. And I know, like we talked about 866 00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,200 Speaker 2: in our being raised by a parent with narcissism, there's 867 00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:25,680 Speaker 2: like a great Reddit source for that, and a lot 868 00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:27,080 Speaker 2: of you have written in about that and how it 869 00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:30,000 Speaker 2: helped you and you found community that way. And there 870 00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:34,080 Speaker 2: are some great feminist subreddits. Our slash Feminism, our slash 871 00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:38,640 Speaker 2: two Chromosomes, which forbids, transphobic or torque, R slash All Women, 872 00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:42,800 Speaker 2: our slash Black Ladies, r slash Asian two x R 873 00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:48,239 Speaker 2: slash dose xtatinas, R slash sex Positive, R slash ask feminists, 874 00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:51,120 Speaker 2: and our slash radical queers. And I probably didn't have 875 00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:52,839 Speaker 2: to say all the R slashes before those, but here 876 00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:56,280 Speaker 2: here I went. Often are suggested, and thanks to bitch 877 00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:58,560 Speaker 2: Media for that list, and it can be a great 878 00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:00,720 Speaker 2: place to learn and connect and grow when it comes 879 00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:04,440 Speaker 2: to intersectional feminism. And it's important because a lot of 880 00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:06,600 Speaker 2: people get their news from the site, which we have 881 00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:08,759 Speaker 2: to keep in mind, and it shapes Internet conversations and 882 00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:12,480 Speaker 2: understanding the world, especially for younger folks. So there are 883 00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:14,719 Speaker 2: these bad things, but there are these good things too, 884 00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:18,759 Speaker 2: And I would love for anybody who uses Reddit if 885 00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:20,920 Speaker 2: you have any insights you would like to offer. If 886 00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:24,600 Speaker 2: you're a mod, let us know if you have any 887 00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:27,160 Speaker 2: favorite subreddits that we should check out or that you 888 00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:30,439 Speaker 2: recommend that'ld be great. I do really love Like when 889 00:47:30,520 --> 00:47:32,800 Speaker 2: my friend Katie told me there was one about hating onions, 890 00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:33,200 Speaker 2: I was. 891 00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:37,040 Speaker 1: Just like, of course there is I love it question 892 00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:38,160 Speaker 1: of course. 893 00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:39,399 Speaker 3: Yes. 894 00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:41,120 Speaker 2: You can send us to us at our email, which 895 00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:43,400 Speaker 2: is steffaniea moom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You can 896 00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:45,360 Speaker 2: find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast, or on 897 00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:47,440 Speaker 2: Instagram at stuff whe Never Told You. Thanks as always 898 00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:51,160 Speaker 2: to our super producer Christia, Hey you, and thanks to 899 00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:51,880 Speaker 2: you for listening. 900 00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:53,799 Speaker 1: Stuff One Ever Told You. Dis direction of My Heart Radio. 901 00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:55,359 Speaker 2: For more podcasts or my Heart Radio, you can check 902 00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:57,360 Speaker 2: out the Ihart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you 903 00:47:57,440 --> 00:48:00,839 Speaker 2: listen to your favorite shows. 904 00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:00,200 Speaker 3: The