WEBVTT - Miss Nia Sioux: Pulling Back the Curtain on Dance Moms 0:00:08.680 --> 0:00:12.760 Misspelling with Tori Spelling an iHeartRadio podcast. 0:00:15.080 --> 0:00:18.400 Hello, Hi, how are you? 0:00:19.200 --> 0:00:19.680 I'm good? 0:00:19.960 --> 0:00:24.560 How are you? I am doing well? Okay, Yeah, I 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:27.440 just got to say I'm like a hero in my 0:00:27.560 --> 0:00:30.800 house today because my two girls love you so much. 0:00:32.000 --> 0:00:35.680 That is so sweet. Oh my gosh, that is so nice. 0:00:36.000 --> 0:00:37.800 How old are you? How old are your girls? 0:00:38.520 --> 0:00:39.920 Fourteen and seventeen? 0:00:40.960 --> 0:00:44.879 Oh my goodness? Okay, amazing, amazing? Are they answers to? 0:00:46.360 --> 0:00:50.280 They are not, but they love it love. I mean 0:00:50.520 --> 0:00:55.560 they've seen every episode. Like I mean, I'm not gonna lie, 0:00:55.600 --> 0:01:00.240 I have to, but I can't believe you start on 0:01:00.240 --> 0:01:02.200 that show when you were nine. What the heck? 0:01:03.560 --> 0:01:06.720 That's crazy, isn't that? Isn't that just wild? 0:01:07.880 --> 0:01:12.319 Yeah, just putting it, just relating it to my life, 0:01:12.360 --> 0:01:14.880 Like my youngest is eight, he'll be nine in March. 0:01:15.800 --> 0:01:19.000 Like being in that world and one of my best friends, 0:01:19.120 --> 0:01:23.560 her daughter is she's twelve, I believe, and Kiki and 0:01:23.600 --> 0:01:29.800 she competes professionally, and just seeing that world first of all, 0:01:29.640 --> 0:01:33.479 I'll watch it with you on TV, but then having 0:01:34.400 --> 0:01:36.160 being able to see it in real life with my 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:38.640 friend and what they have to go through. 0:01:38.720 --> 0:01:39.199 It is. 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:45.360 It is not normal No, it's not. It is the 0:01:45.640 --> 0:01:53.200 craziest pressure. I get pressure just living through my friend's 0:01:53.280 --> 0:01:54.520 daughter's life, like it. 0:01:54.480 --> 0:01:56.800 Is, you get like secondhand pressure. 0:01:58.600 --> 0:02:02.400 Yeah, so you were so you are you the only 0:02:02.440 --> 0:02:06.720 cast member that was on every single season of that chop? Uh? 0:02:06.840 --> 0:02:10.280 Yeah yeah, not including the eighth season. But the eighth 0:02:10.320 --> 0:02:12.200 season had like a totally different cast. 0:02:13.040 --> 0:02:14.120 Wait what, I don't remember this. 0:02:14.919 --> 0:02:16.840 There was like a season eight, but it was like 0:02:17.080 --> 0:02:20.639 a year or two after the show had like ended and. 0:02:20.600 --> 0:02:21.840 Then, so no one cared about that. 0:02:23.080 --> 0:02:25.280 Well, I wouldn't say that. I know people like it. 0:02:25.440 --> 0:02:28.399 I just like that wasn't I'm the only one who 0:02:28.440 --> 0:02:32.280 like finished out their contract, like one through seven was 0:02:32.320 --> 0:02:33.360 there from the very beginning. 0:02:33.560 --> 0:02:39.280 Yeah, oh my gosh, it literally watched You grow up? Okay, 0:02:39.280 --> 0:02:41.720 so age nine through fifteen? Correct, I don't do math. 0:02:42.560 --> 0:02:44.840 Uh yes, yes, nine through fifteen. 0:02:45.800 --> 0:02:49.400 Wow, Like those are literally your formative years. 0:02:49.960 --> 0:02:51.640 Yeah. 0:02:52.120 --> 0:02:54.000 Do you ever? Do you ever watch the show back? 0:02:55.800 --> 0:02:57.840 No? I actually so, I watched the show back for 0:03:00.280 --> 0:03:02.680 but like to write the book. But I don't watch 0:03:02.720 --> 0:03:08.000 the show back just for like fun, because it honestly 0:03:08.040 --> 0:03:09.240 agitates me, like. 0:03:09.400 --> 0:03:15.359 It No, no, no, unless. 0:03:15.000 --> 0:03:18.600 Like I have to and I did for the book 0:03:18.680 --> 0:03:21.600 so that I remember things correctly to see what the audience, 0:03:22.120 --> 0:03:24.680 like the viewers actually saw because I remember things a 0:03:24.680 --> 0:03:27.280 certain way, but I don't know how they played things 0:03:27.320 --> 0:03:35.720 out on the actual show and your story, Yeah, exactly exactly. 0:03:37.600 --> 0:03:40.400 So yeah, I don't watch it back unless I have to. 0:03:40.480 --> 0:03:43.360 But I'll see clips on on social media sometimes and 0:03:43.680 --> 0:03:48.360 they're funny, like usually like they're very funny you brought 0:03:48.400 --> 0:03:50.520 a pocket sometimes, But I think that's kind of like 0:03:50.520 --> 0:03:51.480 the charm of the show. 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:59.040 Like I just gotta say I met ay Lee Miller 0:03:59.720 --> 0:04:03.400 and and we did like it was like a women's 0:04:03.440 --> 0:04:07.840 conference thing. And I never say hi to people because 0:04:08.040 --> 0:04:11.160 just because I get nervous. Is it's not like I 0:04:11.200 --> 0:04:13.520 don't know, I think growing up in this business and 0:04:13.520 --> 0:04:16.720 being a celebrity, I always respect other celebrities and like, oh, 0:04:16.760 --> 0:04:18.440 they get a million people coming up to them. So 0:04:18.440 --> 0:04:20.520 I'm not gonna do it. But for my kids, I'll 0:04:20.560 --> 0:04:23.359 do anything. I've become mama Bear, So I knew my 0:04:23.440 --> 0:04:24.880 kids loved the show, and I was like, I just 0:04:24.880 --> 0:04:26.600 got to guess, you know, ask her for a photo 0:04:27.000 --> 0:04:29.440 and she was super nice and she sent them merch 0:04:29.480 --> 0:04:34.320 and everything. But like reading your book. Now I'm pissed. Now, 0:04:34.360 --> 0:04:40.800 I'm I I like the merch. I'm gonna keep the merch, 0:04:40.839 --> 0:04:43.120 but I'm getting rid of that photo on my phone. 0:04:43.400 --> 0:04:47.800 Merched. That's totally fine. My relationship with Abby is like 0:04:48.000 --> 0:04:54.080 it's it's you know, like non existent anymore. Bunch. 0:04:54.120 --> 0:04:58.920 I'm glad you didn't say complicated. Oh when I hate 0:04:58.920 --> 0:05:01.680 when people are peacey. I've known, I've done it for years, 0:05:01.680 --> 0:05:04.839 and I'm like, it's complicated. It's like, it's not complicated, 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:06.120 you know what it really is. Okay, you know what 0:05:06.160 --> 0:05:06.479 I mean. 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:09.160 Yeah, I do know what you mean. But the thing, 0:05:09.520 --> 0:05:11.960 you know, there is truth to that as well, Like 0:05:12.440 --> 0:05:14.680 I don't have a relationship with her anymore, but our 0:05:15.240 --> 0:05:20.800 our past relationship was complicated. You know, I was her 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:24.520 dancer since I danced under her name for since I 0:05:24.560 --> 0:05:29.000 was like three years old. So we did have some 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:34.359 sort of relationship and bond during during those early stages. 0:05:34.920 --> 0:05:38.200 But but you know, it just it got ruined and 0:05:38.200 --> 0:05:41.440 and it was definitely tainted. And I you know, people's 0:05:41.440 --> 0:05:45.280 true colors show. Uh, So it is very complicated and 0:05:45.279 --> 0:05:48.520 and I do talk about a lot about that in 0:05:48.560 --> 0:05:52.520 the book because you know, you know it is. I'm 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:54.760 not trying to defend her anything, but you know, there 0:05:54.760 --> 0:05:56.919 were good moments and there were really bad moments, and 0:05:57.000 --> 0:06:01.960 unfortunately the bad outweigh the good. So it's hard to 0:06:01.960 --> 0:06:04.960 to even think about some of those good moments sometimes. 0:06:05.360 --> 0:06:07.120 But but yeah. 0:06:07.160 --> 0:06:11.440 Just chills. But you know what, that's that's with any 0:06:12.279 --> 0:06:18.599 relationship personally and professionally, like, and that is so brave 0:06:18.640 --> 0:06:23.400 of you and strong of you to admit, like, there 0:06:23.400 --> 0:06:26.160 are bad moments that outweighed, but there were good moments, 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:30.760 so and acknowledge those because with any relationship with a 0:06:30.800 --> 0:06:33.600 family member, and in some sorts she was a family 0:06:33.680 --> 0:06:37.280 member to you, there's gonna be bad and good. You're like, nope, 0:06:37.320 --> 0:06:42.239 not family, Nope, nope, not saying okay, fine, I'm being nice. 0:06:44.040 --> 0:06:47.400 But she was. She she was an authority figure in 0:06:47.440 --> 0:06:51.600 my life. You're in and teachers are supposed to be 0:06:51.839 --> 0:06:53.560 people that you can look up to. They're supposed to 0:06:53.600 --> 0:06:57.760 be role models and yeah, and she wasn't that. So 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:00.840 it's so it's very it's a complicated, reallyationship, you know. 0:07:01.560 --> 0:07:01.680 Uh. 0:07:01.880 --> 0:07:05.320 But at the same time, you know, I don't I'm 0:07:05.360 --> 0:07:08.920 not friends really with people that still talk to her. 0:07:08.960 --> 0:07:10.400 But the thing is at the end of the day, 0:07:10.480 --> 0:07:13.200 like she is this character that was on a huge 0:07:13.240 --> 0:07:16.840 TV show. So I'm never gonna be like upset with 0:07:16.880 --> 0:07:19.280 someone for wanting to take a picture with her because 0:07:20.320 --> 0:07:24.280 she's I mean, she's abby and she was on this 0:07:24.400 --> 0:07:26.960 huge television show. You know, most people are gonna want 0:07:26.960 --> 0:07:30.280 to take a picture with someone like that. I'm happy 0:07:30.320 --> 0:07:31.360 she was nice to you, though. 0:07:33.840 --> 0:07:36.160 She was because I thought I thought she was gonna 0:07:36.160 --> 0:07:40.320 be scary from watching the show, and she was really nice. 0:07:40.600 --> 0:07:44.320 How much of what was on that show with her 0:07:44.680 --> 0:07:47.200 was a character as opposed to how she was in 0:07:47.240 --> 0:07:51.280 real life or she was always that hard in real 0:07:51.320 --> 0:07:52.240 life as well? 0:07:52.280 --> 0:07:55.200 As I always say that they made her look likable 0:07:55.480 --> 0:08:03.480 for TV. They no, yeah, yes, yes they did. Whoa Yeah, 0:08:03.600 --> 0:08:06.440 I think. I mean, I think you can even ask 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:10.520 dancers like that dance there that were that weren't on 0:08:10.560 --> 0:08:13.480 the show or pre show. I think they could like 0:08:13.520 --> 0:08:17.760 attest to that as well. But but yeah, no, that's 0:08:17.920 --> 0:08:21.360 who she really is. They had to edit a lot 0:08:21.360 --> 0:08:24.680 of stuff out, cut a lot of stuff out, you know, 0:08:26.520 --> 0:08:31.080 when it when it came to like the things she 0:08:31.240 --> 0:08:35.400 said and the things she did, the show protected her 0:08:35.640 --> 0:08:38.760 in a lot of ways, because you know they're there. 0:08:39.040 --> 0:08:41.360 They want to make sure that their show keeps running. 0:08:42.040 --> 0:08:44.080 And unfortunately, I feel like some of the stuff that 0:08:44.160 --> 0:08:48.440 happened probably would have could could have done some damage 0:08:48.480 --> 0:08:51.240 to the show itself if if it was aired. 0:08:53.480 --> 0:08:55.800 Got it? So a lot of the stuff that you 0:08:55.920 --> 0:09:00.480 talk about in your book regarding racism, was that actually 0:09:00.520 --> 0:09:01.960 in the show that aired? 0:09:03.240 --> 0:09:06.360 Well? Actually some of it. Yes, there's a lot of 0:09:06.400 --> 0:09:09.840 things in the book that I that I talk about 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:14.000 that were literally aired on television. 0:09:14.160 --> 0:09:15.760 How did that not getner canceled? 0:09:16.080 --> 0:09:18.280 You know, it was a different time. I think in 0:09:18.320 --> 0:09:24.120 a post twenty twenty world, everyone kind of like I 0:09:24.200 --> 0:09:30.000 think more people are receptive to just conversations about race 0:09:30.040 --> 0:09:32.880 and racism. I know that for me and my mom, 0:09:33.240 --> 0:09:38.199 we knew when these things happened. But for viewers, I 0:09:38.200 --> 0:09:43.559 would say, especially like non black or like white viewers 0:09:43.600 --> 0:09:46.120 who were watching the show, they wouldn't have really picked 0:09:46.200 --> 0:09:49.959 up on some of the racism that happened. But there 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:54.680 are very like there there. It is documented the things 0:09:54.679 --> 0:09:57.120 that happened on the show, and I go into that, 0:09:57.160 --> 0:09:59.920 and I also go into stuff that that wasn't air 0:10:00.120 --> 0:10:02.920 on the show as well. But a lot of a lot. 0:10:03.280 --> 0:10:06.160 There were a lot of examples that I could have 0:10:06.320 --> 0:10:11.960 that I used because it was on the show, and 0:10:12.200 --> 0:10:14.520 no one really did and no one picked up on it. 0:10:14.720 --> 0:10:17.960 No one picked up on it because back in the day, 0:10:19.320 --> 0:10:22.040 those things kind of just flew over everyone's head and 0:10:22.080 --> 0:10:25.559 you know, you know, things were funny and things were 0:10:25.600 --> 0:10:28.360 acceptable back in the day. But now people are more 0:10:28.400 --> 0:10:31.000 willing to have these conversations and are more like in 0:10:31.040 --> 0:10:38.080 tune with with racism and microaggressions and in everything surrounding that. 0:10:38.440 --> 0:10:44.280 So that's been really interesting as well. For just even 0:10:44.360 --> 0:10:50.360 before the book came out, I like, I saw like 0:10:51.200 --> 0:10:55.160 I saw people posting about dance moms with a different 0:10:55.240 --> 0:10:59.760 point of view, which I found really interesting. And that's 0:10:59.840 --> 0:11:01.679 not the reason why I felt like it was a 0:11:01.679 --> 0:11:06.280 good time to write the book, because people started to 0:11:06.320 --> 0:11:09.079 see things for what they actually were. Not everyone, but 0:11:09.080 --> 0:11:12.640 people started seeing things and watching now that you know, 0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:14.960 the kids watch it and now they're adults looking back, 0:11:15.000 --> 0:11:18.400 they're like wait, and after you know, like the Black 0:11:18.440 --> 0:11:22.000 Lives Matter movement, and you know, people watch the show 0:11:22.280 --> 0:11:26.080 back and they're like, wait, actually that wasn't okay. Actually 0:11:26.080 --> 0:11:28.960 that you know, we thought this was funny, but it's 0:11:29.000 --> 0:11:32.640 not as funny as I thought, like as I remember 0:11:32.720 --> 0:11:38.520 it to be, or even just certain things like it's 0:11:39.040 --> 0:11:41.480 People can still watch it, but I've heard some people 0:11:41.520 --> 0:11:45.400 say that they can't even watch it anymore because, you know, 0:11:45.559 --> 0:11:49.000 it's it's hard for them to watch. Uh. So, yes, 0:11:49.000 --> 0:11:52.959 there's still people who can watch it and take it 0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:56.120 for what it is and and and giggle and laugh 0:11:56.240 --> 0:11:58.680 and have spewed about it. You know, it's it's so 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:02.760 wild and crazy where you can absolutely just like watch it. 0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:04.960 It's very calming for some people. I don't know why, 0:12:05.000 --> 0:12:08.440 but it is. But other people have a very different 0:12:08.480 --> 0:12:11.480 reaction now and and it's hard for them to watch. 0:12:12.920 --> 0:12:18.880 I understand that. And for future generations, it's setting a 0:12:18.880 --> 0:12:22.760 different standard. And it's so I'm so sorry what you 0:12:22.800 --> 0:12:28.160 went through as a kid a young adult. And I 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:31.840 think it's so important though that you're putting your view 0:12:31.880 --> 0:12:38.960 out there now looking back on the experience, because while 0:12:39.000 --> 0:12:42.160 my seventeen and my fourteen year old love the show, 0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:47.000 these are the conversations which you're referring to, that teenagers 0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:51.960 now are having. They're so evolved and elevated that they 0:12:53.640 --> 0:12:57.920 won't be quiet anymore. They can't be exactly, and that 0:12:57.960 --> 0:13:00.960 will only affect future generation for their kids and for 0:13:01.080 --> 0:13:04.160 your kids one day. You know, it's just do you 0:13:04.200 --> 0:13:05.720 want kids? 0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:10.480 I don't know, Well, I haven't. I'm like, I genuinely 0:13:10.520 --> 0:13:12.400 don't know. I haven't really gotten that far. I haven't 0:13:12.440 --> 0:13:14.760 really thought too much about it, which I know at 0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:17.040 this age people start I'm like, I haven't really thought 0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:22.679 about it. But I would say for you, I know 0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:26.080 you said sorry, and I appreciate it. But also at 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:31.240 the same time, I I I don't view myself as 0:13:31.760 --> 0:13:33.640 a victim. You know, I don't think I have a 0:13:33.720 --> 0:13:38.280 victim mentality, which I think is really important, but at all, 0:13:38.400 --> 0:13:41.520 you know, like I just I don't feel like I'm 0:13:41.720 --> 0:13:45.680 a victim. I think that I did the best what 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:50.280 I could do in those situations, and I I see 0:13:50.320 --> 0:13:53.040 myself as someone who's resilient and you know, coming out 0:13:53.040 --> 0:13:58.840 of those things with like strong. But also it's interesting 0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:03.560 too because with me releasing the story, you were saying, 0:14:03.559 --> 0:14:05.680 You're like, I'm so happy you're able to talk about 0:14:05.679 --> 0:14:10.319 this now and share your story, you know, not all 0:14:10.559 --> 0:14:17.800 like I received so many positive responses and feedback, but 0:14:17.880 --> 0:14:21.240 also there's a lot of people that still question me. 0:14:21.840 --> 0:14:24.640 And are in ask me questions like well, why do 0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:26.720 you wait so long? Why did you why are you 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:28.640 just talking about it now? Why? You know, like just 0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:32.120 all questions, and I it makes me realize, like I 0:14:32.240 --> 0:14:36.400 understand why sometimes victims wouldn't come out and say things, 0:14:36.800 --> 0:14:41.720 or why people stay quiet because they they blame they victim, 0:14:41.760 --> 0:14:45.200 blame people for for being in these situations, even though 0:14:45.640 --> 0:14:50.360 it's it's not their doing. So yeah, it's interesting, Like, yeah, 0:14:50.360 --> 0:14:52.440 I don't I don't see myself as a victim, but 0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:55.680 I have gone through a lot, and you know, I 0:14:55.680 --> 0:14:58.760 I'm proud of my story. It's it's who I am. 0:14:58.800 --> 0:15:02.920 It's made it made me who I am today. And 0:15:03.400 --> 0:15:05.680 the whole point of the book was just to finally 0:15:05.720 --> 0:15:08.160 share my side of the story. And I know that 0:15:08.320 --> 0:15:11.080 sometimes people still have that people are gonna say whatever, 0:15:11.160 --> 0:15:14.880 Sometimes people don't care. Sometimes people, you know, we'll still 0:15:14.960 --> 0:15:19.120 question what I have to say, and and you know, 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:21.920 and that's okay, Like I'm totally okay with that. That's 0:15:21.960 --> 0:15:24.160 part of being human, that's part of being in this world. 0:15:25.160 --> 0:15:27.000 But I do think as a whole, like I think 0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:32.440 people just need more empathy. And and you think. 0:15:34.880 --> 0:15:39.840 Empathy is the it's the key thing missing, in my opinion, 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:43.400 from the world. People want the empathy for them, but 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:46.960 they don't have it for others. Right, Yeah, it's so 0:15:47.160 --> 0:15:49.800 beautiful to realize that and have that. 0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:58.560 If you've been ghosted, divorced, or left for someone else, 0:15:59.240 --> 0:16:01.040 snap out of it. It's not for you to get 0:16:01.080 --> 0:16:03.800 some help by listening to us said, I do part two. 0:16:04.360 --> 0:16:07.200 Listen to I do Part two on the iHeartRadio app, 0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:14.240 Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. 0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:22.200 Now, I'm hearing you, and I'm proud of how resilient 0:16:22.240 --> 0:16:26.720 and strong there has to be, though somewhere inside still 0:16:27.720 --> 0:16:33.280 the pain, the hurt. Oh yeah, for sure, words at 0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:36.560 least through my journey, I've realized, and we all have 0:16:36.600 --> 0:16:42.920 a different journey, and it's you can't unhear words, and 0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:45.040 you can move past it. You can work on yourself, 0:16:45.040 --> 0:16:49.160 you can make those words make you stronger and be 0:16:49.880 --> 0:16:55.200 you know, guide others through it. Insightful. But you know, 0:16:55.360 --> 0:16:58.120 words that were said to me when I was young, 0:16:59.600 --> 0:17:01.760 I still hear them. I work hard to get past it, 0:17:01.800 --> 0:17:04.880 but I hear them in my you know inside, they 0:17:04.880 --> 0:17:05.960 affect me for sure. 0:17:06.800 --> 0:17:10.280 Yeah, Well, I'm I'm I always say that like I 0:17:10.480 --> 0:17:15.720 don't care what anyone says. Words still do hurt. Words 0:17:15.720 --> 0:17:20.320 still do hurt, and they are powerful. They are powerful, 0:17:20.359 --> 0:17:22.040 and that's the reason why I wrote my book, because 0:17:22.040 --> 0:17:25.439 I know words are powerful and I know that words 0:17:25.440 --> 0:17:33.439 have meeting. And also to that as well, like for me, 0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:38.800 as someone who is resilient is someone who you know, 0:17:41.280 --> 0:17:45.800 you know has just overcome a lot, I would say 0:17:46.040 --> 0:17:50.320 for me, like, yes, I do still get hurt by 0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:55.040 things sometimes. I and you know, writing the book has 0:17:55.080 --> 0:18:00.240 been super healing, but at the same time, yeah, very 0:18:00.280 --> 0:18:02.120 but still at the same time, it doesn't mean that 0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:05.960 things don't sting. Sometimes things don't, you know, every once 0:18:05.960 --> 0:18:07.080 in a while come up. 0:18:08.640 --> 0:18:08.879 You know. 0:18:09.200 --> 0:18:14.520 I'm I'm strong, and I think sometimes people think that 0:18:14.680 --> 0:18:16.560 and this is something that I have I've I had 0:18:16.560 --> 0:18:20.080 to work on as well because an abbyism that she 0:18:20.240 --> 0:18:22.919 had or like one of her sayings was like savior 0:18:22.960 --> 0:18:26.240 tears for the pillow, meaning like if you cry, like 0:18:26.320 --> 0:18:30.680 that makes you weak. Never let anyone so you see 0:18:31.040 --> 0:18:33.600 you cry, because that makes them have more power and 0:18:33.640 --> 0:18:36.239 that makes them, you know, like you lose if you 0:18:36.520 --> 0:18:39.800 if you cry, and you. 0:18:39.800 --> 0:18:46.159 Know, believing that crying crying with a sign of weakness. 0:18:46.119 --> 0:18:50.680 Yes, exactly, And for me, I've had to really unlearn 0:18:50.800 --> 0:18:54.120 that because for me, I want to be strong. I'm 0:18:54.160 --> 0:18:57.640 a strong person. So I equated crying with being weak, 0:18:57.920 --> 0:19:02.080 which I've learned that that's not the right way. Crying 0:19:02.160 --> 0:19:04.840 is very normal and it's good for you. It's a release. 0:19:06.320 --> 0:19:10.480 So nowadays, when I talk about being strong, I don't 0:19:10.480 --> 0:19:14.960 think I I think that crying and being vulnerable and 0:19:15.000 --> 0:19:19.240 showing your emotions is part of also being strong. That's 0:19:19.320 --> 0:19:21.400 part of it. Being strong doesn't mean you don't cry, 0:19:21.480 --> 0:19:23.960 doesn't mean that you don't get hurt by things. It 0:19:24.119 --> 0:19:28.560 just means that you can navigate that that hurt and 0:19:28.640 --> 0:19:32.040 redirect it. It means that you can get through those situations, 0:19:33.320 --> 0:19:38.600 you know. So it's taken some time. But yeah, I 0:19:38.600 --> 0:19:42.359 don't I don't think being strong means that you can't 0:19:43.040 --> 0:19:45.160 also be hurt. And I think it's good for people 0:19:45.200 --> 0:19:51.119 to know when you're hurt because they should. They people 0:19:51.160 --> 0:19:55.760 should know when they hurt your feelings otherwise notice otherwise 0:19:55.800 --> 0:20:00.399 they think it's okay. It's good for for people to 0:20:00.480 --> 0:20:03.920 know that you're hurt because that's also because it also 0:20:03.920 --> 0:20:08.520 means that you're a real human, you know, I agreed. 0:20:08.720 --> 0:20:13.359 Sorry, I'm crying right now. I'm like, oh see it's no, see, 0:20:13.480 --> 0:20:16.200 I have to just retreat my brain. Sorry, I'm crying. 0:20:17.440 --> 0:20:19.480 I'm crying because this feels good to hear this from 0:20:19.480 --> 0:20:29.240 someone else. You are redefining words and that are archaic 0:20:29.359 --> 0:20:35.119 that have such like being strong. We were taught always 0:20:35.160 --> 0:20:38.000 like exactly what you're saying. You can't do this, You 0:20:38.040 --> 0:20:41.840 can't do that if you're strong. And I love that 0:20:41.960 --> 0:20:46.399 you were speaking to humans out there and so many 0:20:46.520 --> 0:20:51.840 young women and they are learning like, yeah, that's not 0:20:51.880 --> 0:20:54.440 what this means. I can redefine a word and make 0:20:54.440 --> 0:20:59.520 it mine and make it my journey. And I you 0:20:59.560 --> 0:21:03.560 know what, if anyone says, why did you take this long? Why? 0:21:03.680 --> 0:21:06.639 Now it's your journey, you can tell it when you want. 0:21:06.520 --> 0:21:08.760 To tell it exactly. 0:21:08.840 --> 0:21:14.080 Yeah, I'm all sorry, sorry, but. 0:21:14.080 --> 0:21:16.919 It's true though, Like it's what do you like? What 0:21:16.960 --> 0:21:18.880 do you mean? Why am I sharing my story now? 0:21:18.880 --> 0:21:21.760 Maybe because I'm not nine years old anymore, like because 0:21:22.240 --> 0:21:24.480 you know what I mean, Like I'm an adult now. 0:21:25.440 --> 0:21:28.600 I can actually advocate for myself in this way. I 0:21:28.600 --> 0:21:34.640 can actually uh like write how I'm articulate, how I'm 0:21:34.640 --> 0:21:37.600 feeling you know, whereas when you're in it you can't 0:21:37.640 --> 0:21:41.960 really see everything. And also I was a child, you know. 0:21:42.160 --> 0:21:44.560 Now that I'm an adult, I can actually write about 0:21:44.560 --> 0:21:48.200 these things and write about it with a pretty level 0:21:48.320 --> 0:21:53.359 head as well. So so yeah, it takes it takes 0:21:54.200 --> 0:21:59.320 time to just process everything that I went through as well. 0:21:59.600 --> 0:22:03.800 And as far as I'm concerned, which is something that 0:22:03.840 --> 0:22:06.760 I'm very like, very grateful for, is that people do 0:22:06.840 --> 0:22:09.440 still care about Dance Moms. People are still talking about 0:22:09.480 --> 0:22:13.119 the show. I would even argue that Dance Moms is 0:22:13.119 --> 0:22:15.679 probably even more prevalent now than it was back in 0:22:15.720 --> 0:22:19.800 the day when it was airing. So I like, absolutely, 0:22:20.240 --> 0:22:22.760 but I'm like, people are still watching it, you know, 0:22:22.800 --> 0:22:25.399 people are still streaming it, which is great and I 0:22:25.960 --> 0:22:30.359 love that, but I but I also want to recognize, 0:22:30.400 --> 0:22:33.760 like it's not that it's not relevant, Like this is 0:22:33.800 --> 0:22:36.200 still relevant because people are still talking about. 0:22:35.960 --> 0:22:40.520 It, absolutely, And nostalgia is such a big deal. So 0:22:40.600 --> 0:22:44.520 I feel like people that originally watched the show, it's 0:22:44.640 --> 0:22:49.359 something that's a comfort on some level, Yeah, to go 0:22:49.480 --> 0:22:53.640 back to watching it if you loved it then, and 0:22:53.680 --> 0:22:56.720 then young people are just finding it. I mean, God 0:22:56.840 --> 0:23:03.400 blessed TikTok making all of us relevant. I mean, wait, 0:23:03.680 --> 0:23:06.680 five point eight million, No, baby, you're doing great like 0:23:06.880 --> 0:23:10.320 it's eight years. No, you're such an inspiration. Wait, I 0:23:10.359 --> 0:23:13.119 gotta just I love your mom. And this is just 0:23:13.160 --> 0:23:19.080 from watching yeah, because because when I watched the show, 0:23:19.560 --> 0:23:23.199 I was already having kids and like, so, well, you 0:23:23.240 --> 0:23:25.280 guys were awesome. I was always like, looking at the mom, 0:23:25.280 --> 0:23:26.600 I was like, oh my god, that's gonna be me 0:23:26.640 --> 0:23:29.320 one day as my kids get older. Not a dance moment. 0:23:29.359 --> 0:23:32.160 I could never do that. Oh my god, I can't. 0:23:32.200 --> 0:23:34.240 I can. I can barely get my kids to school. 0:23:34.760 --> 0:23:40.119 It's like, I think somewhere deep down, I never pushed 0:23:40.119 --> 0:23:43.200 my kids into sports because I was like, I can't 0:23:43.200 --> 0:23:46.480 do it. But I also have five so but and 0:23:46.520 --> 0:23:48.760 I feel like your mom wasn't that either. She wasn't 0:23:48.840 --> 0:23:51.560 like the like in it so like she was just like, yeah, 0:23:51.680 --> 0:23:55.000 you go great. I just I don't know the ones 0:23:55.040 --> 0:23:57.879 that used to like go like balls to the wall. 0:23:58.040 --> 0:24:00.960 I used to just be like, that is not the mom. 0:24:01.080 --> 0:24:05.000 I want to be like your mom. She was always 0:24:05.080 --> 0:24:07.879 just so she had her own shit going on. You know, 0:24:08.200 --> 0:24:11.760 this wasn't yeah you know what I mean, Like she's sorry. 0:24:12.600 --> 0:24:15.760 It's like she's like, I love my mom, And I 0:24:15.840 --> 0:24:19.120 always I always say this, like I don't know how 0:24:19.119 --> 0:24:22.439 she did it, Like genuinely, I don't know how she 0:24:22.480 --> 0:24:26.240 went through seven seasons without cursing at anyone, without like 0:24:27.080 --> 0:24:30.080 totally losing her mind. And you know what I mean, 0:24:30.119 --> 0:24:33.679 because they really did push her buttons push. 0:24:33.760 --> 0:24:36.639 Yeah, she had a career. I mean, it's not just 0:24:36.880 --> 0:24:40.520 it's not like she was just a dance mom exactly. 0:24:40.600 --> 0:24:45.399 You know, she she had had a career. She was 0:24:45.440 --> 0:24:49.439 a principal, she was an education She also has you know, 0:24:49.560 --> 0:24:54.040 two other kids besides me. She's married, you know, like 0:24:54.080 --> 0:24:58.160 we we there were so many things like she had. 0:24:58.240 --> 0:25:00.840 She was also working on her dissertation, you know what 0:25:00.920 --> 0:25:03.719 I mean. So there's so much that she was doing. 0:25:04.160 --> 0:25:06.359 I don't know how she kept her composure the whole time, 0:25:06.359 --> 0:25:09.919 but she did. And I'm really grateful that I had 0:25:09.920 --> 0:25:12.720 a good role model to look up to in those moments. 0:25:14.280 --> 0:25:18.760 And anytime I hear something about like if anyone, you know, 0:25:20.200 --> 0:25:22.760 like blames my mom for some that happened on the show, 0:25:22.960 --> 0:25:25.720