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Speaker 1: All right, It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: And if you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting

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Speaker 1: or more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve BARBFM

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Speaker 1: dot com. All you have to do is click submit

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live on

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Speaker 1: the air. It's just like we're going to read this

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Speaker 1: one right here, right now, and you never know it

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Speaker 1: could be yours.

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Speaker 2: All right, Oh she got a short How about that?

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Speaker 2: Muggel up and hold on tight. We got it for

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Speaker 2: you here. It is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 3: The subject is moving on? Is not that easy? Dear

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Speaker 3: Stephen Shirley.

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Speaker 1: My husband and I were married six years, and one

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Speaker 1: morning he got up, showered, and got dressed for work.

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Speaker 1: Before we left the house, he kissed me on the

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Speaker 1: forehead and said he didn't want to be married anymore,

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Speaker 1: at least not to me. He told me that he

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Speaker 1: had a revelation at church and he thinks we both

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Speaker 1: deserve to be happy. I told him I was happy,

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Speaker 1: and he shocked me by saying he has not been

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Speaker 1: happy in a long time. He said that he'd be

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Speaker 1: moving out soon and we need to sell the house

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Speaker 1: so he can buy a new house. Eventually, when he

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Speaker 1: finally gave me the chance to speak, I told him

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Speaker 1: that he's selfish and that I loved my house and

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to sell it.

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Speaker 3: He said that I deserve a better man than him.

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Speaker 1: I got angry and told him to stop the it's

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Speaker 1: not you, it's me bs and that's when he left

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Speaker 1: because he hates confrontation. I didn't go to work that day,

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Speaker 1: and like a dummy, I told everyone close to me

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Speaker 1: what happened. Well after I finished crying all day, I

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Speaker 1: realized that I shouldn't have told so many people. Since then,

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Speaker 1: my girlfriends have called me every day to check on me,

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Speaker 1: and my mama set up a group chat with my aunt.

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Speaker 1: They are all trying to figure out ways to make

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Speaker 1: my marriage work, and I've told them that there's no

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Speaker 1: going back after the way he handled me. The worst

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Speaker 1: part is that I'm pregnant and I was waiting until

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Speaker 1: I had one more doctor's visit to tell my husband

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Speaker 1: because them in my forties and considered high risk. I

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Speaker 1: have to deal with people in my business, my pregnancy,

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Speaker 1: the move, a divorce, and moving on as a single mother. Meanwhile,

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Speaker 1: he's free to go on and live his life, and

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Speaker 1: I bet he has.

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Speaker 3: A new woman, but that's none of my business. How

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Speaker 3: can he detach from me and move on so easily?

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Speaker 3: Because he's a pig. That's why.

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Speaker 1: He's just a selfish, low down, filthy, nasty, dirty pig.

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Speaker 3: And I don't like him.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you don't treat people this way, and especially

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Speaker 1: your wife of six years.

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Speaker 3: I mean, what are you supposed to do now?

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Speaker 1: I get if you want to lead the marriage and

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Speaker 1: all of that, but you know there are ways to

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Speaker 1: do it where you don't have to be so cold

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Speaker 1: about it. And I'll tell you this, as hard as

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Speaker 1: it sounds, and you said it yourself, you do have

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Speaker 1: to move on. Don't even trip about telling your family

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Speaker 1: and your girlfriends. At least they are being supportive in

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Speaker 1: some way. And it's way more than you can say

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Speaker 1: for your loser husband. It's not the first or the

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Speaker 1: last time a husband has walked out on a wife

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Speaker 1: or vice versa. But dang, I mean, who does this

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Speaker 1: to a person? I just think he's a pig and

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Speaker 1: he's just so cold and heartless about it. And you

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Speaker 1: do have rights, so don't worry about that. You do

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Speaker 1: have some rights. You don't have to walk out or

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Speaker 1: move out right away. You don't have to sell the

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Speaker 1: house right away. Take your time. The last thing you

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Speaker 1: need to be is stressed out during your pregnancy. And

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Speaker 1: maybe your family could help you pack up his stuff

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Speaker 1: so he can get out. And I'm sure that you

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Speaker 1: do know that you should get a lawyer, and of

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Speaker 1: course the lawyer can help you with the rest of

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Speaker 1: the legal stuff and all of that. And please get

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Speaker 1: all you can, Okay, get all that you can from

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Speaker 1: this man. The main thing is to make sure you

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Speaker 1: stay healthy. You got to tell you have to know.

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Speaker 1: Tell him about the baby, you do. Even though he

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Speaker 1: is a pig, I think he has a right to

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Speaker 1: know about his baby. Don't expect anything from him after

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Speaker 1: you tell him, though, because babies can't hold marriages together.

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Speaker 1: Your husband probably does have someone at someone else he

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Speaker 1: does and I'm sure that helps you decide. That helped

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Speaker 1: him decide to walk out on you after six years.

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Speaker 1: Bottom line to all of this, go ahead, have your baby.

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Speaker 1: You can and will survive, and you can make it

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Speaker 1: to the other side of this.

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Speaker 3: Steve H.

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Speaker 2: This letter is crazy.

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Speaker 4: I've known men to do some things similar.

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Speaker 2: This one. When you read it, though, it's all chaotic.

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Speaker 4: Now, the other thing about this letter is this letter

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Speaker 4: is one sided. Now we're just hearing from her this.

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Speaker 4: This is crazy though. Man, I feel for the lady

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Speaker 4: that wrote the letter because this is a letter full

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Speaker 4: of pain. Surprise is her compromises, shock, disappointments, let downs,

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Speaker 4: And it's just a letter full of this. And I

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Speaker 4: don't know if I can help you, but here we go.

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Speaker 4: My husband and I were married for six years and

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Speaker 4: one morning he got up, he showered, got dressed for work,

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Speaker 4: and before he left the house, he kissed me on

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Speaker 4: the forehead and said that, well, I don't want to

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Speaker 4: be married no more. I don't want to be married

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Speaker 4: no more, at least not to you. Now that's a

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Speaker 4: very telling line right here. When a guy says that

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Speaker 4: I don't want to be married anymore, at least not

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Speaker 4: to you, that's immediately sends you to the arms of

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Speaker 4: someone else.

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Speaker 2: That's the giveaway.

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Speaker 4: He told me that he had a revelation at church

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Speaker 4: and he thinks we both deserve to be happy. This

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Speaker 4: is the other part that throws me off about men.

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Speaker 4: Why would you drag the Lord into this God's voice?

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Speaker 4: Bishop Alma taught me something about God's voice.

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Speaker 2: It has no seeing in it.

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Speaker 4: So this revelation that you had at church, you had

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Speaker 4: this before you got there.

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Speaker 2: You just thought of some stuff. Why use at church?

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Speaker 4: Please don't put this off on the church, the Lord

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Speaker 4: or a scripture. And if you didn't have this revelation

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Speaker 4: at church, all right, If the rest of the letter

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Speaker 4: is all said, I don't know if I'm gonna have

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Speaker 4: an answer for this woman, I will tell a company.

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Speaker 2: All right, That's all I can do.

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Speaker 1: All right, Steve, we'll have part two of your response

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Speaker 1: coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letters subject is moving on is not that easy.

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Speaker 3: We'll get back into it right after this.

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Speaker 1: You're listening.

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Speaker 3: Morning show.

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Speaker 1: All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: The subject is moving on is not that easy?

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Speaker 4: Well, according to this letter, the subject is really aproposed.

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Speaker 4: I mean, moving on is not that easy, especially when

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Speaker 4: you didn't know you was moving. Let loane on it.

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Speaker 4: So all of this whole letter is a shot. Guy

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Speaker 4: got up one morning, been married six years, showered, got

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Speaker 4: dressed for work, kissed on the forehead and saying I

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Speaker 4: don't want to be married, no more, at least not

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Speaker 4: to you. And then he told me he had a

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Speaker 4: revelation at church and he thinks that we both deserved

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Speaker 4: to be happy.

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Speaker 2: I told him I was happy.

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Speaker 4: He shocked me by saying that he ain't been happy

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Speaker 4: in a long time. Well, that really shouldn't have been

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Speaker 4: a shock. Here's the partner of the letter. She's leaving out.

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Speaker 4: They've had some medical problems. There's been a disconnect, there's

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Speaker 4: been a change. Now, if you weren't paying attention to

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Speaker 4: you didn't want to admit to it, y'all. Come on,

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Speaker 4: now he walked in the house. This ain't all quite

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Speaker 4: ass shocking. You were shocked by the way he presented

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Speaker 4: it to you, But you all have been having some

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Speaker 4: type of issue somewhere if you just look back.

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Speaker 2: On and closer.

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Speaker 4: And I'm pretty sure she's playing all this stuff out

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Speaker 4: in her mind.

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Speaker 3: Now.

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Speaker 4: He said he'd be moving out soon and we need

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Speaker 4: to sell the house so he can buy a new

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Speaker 4: house eventually. Now you're being dictated to right here, lady,

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Speaker 4: and this is where you gotta gather yourself.

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Speaker 2: He can't just come in the house as a married man.

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Speaker 2: You all have a house.

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Speaker 4: Tell you he's moving out, and that y'all need to

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Speaker 4: sell the house so he can buy a new one eventually.

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Speaker 2: That ain't hort, it's working.

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Speaker 4: There ain't no court in the country that's gonna just

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Speaker 4: go along with just the right here. See, because once

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Speaker 4: you play back what he said to you, he pretty

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Speaker 4: much that ain't his house.

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Speaker 2: He can forget that. He fit the lose.

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Speaker 4: When he finally gave me the chance to speak, I

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Speaker 4: told him that he's self.

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Speaker 2: I love my house and I don't want to sell it.

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Speaker 4: He said, I deserve a better man than him. I

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Speaker 4: got angry and told him to stop that.

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Speaker 2: BS. That told him to stop that it's not you

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Speaker 2: as me BS.

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Speaker 4: And then he walked out and he left because he

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Speaker 4: hates confrontations. Well, lady, he just walked out and left

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Speaker 4: because he hate confrontations. Now, he walked out and left

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Speaker 4: because he flew with youes. You know, quick dressing up stuff,

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Speaker 4: making excuses for people.

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Speaker 2: He told you earlier before the argument started. He was leaving.

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Speaker 4: You want to sell the house, kiss you goodbye? The

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Speaker 4: marriage over. He don't want to be married the more,

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Speaker 4: at least not to you. Now, don't stop all this

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Speaker 4: confrontation stuff. I didn't go to work that day like

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Speaker 4: a dummy. I told everybody close to me what had happened.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that will see.

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Speaker 4: Now you finished crying all day, I realized I shouldn't

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Speaker 4: have told so many people. Since then, my girlfriends had

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Speaker 4: called me every day to check on my mama has

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Speaker 4: set up group track with your aunts, your old ass hunt.

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Speaker 4: Now they all in here trying to figure out ways

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Speaker 4: to make the marriage. What you don't think they own

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Speaker 4: she or her mama, her aunts is her mama's deal.

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Speaker 4: Since all of old they've been trying to figure out

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Speaker 4: ways to make the marriage work. And I've told him

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Speaker 4: they're not that there's no going back after the way

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Speaker 4: he handled it.

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Speaker 2: Well, okay, you've come to the proper conclusion.

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Speaker 4: Stop answering your phone, don't get on no group cat

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Speaker 4: tell everybody you fine, because if you know there's no

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Speaker 4: going back after the way he handled you, then you've

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Speaker 4: come to the conclusion. But the worst part is that

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Speaker 4: you are pregnant. And I was waiting until I had

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Speaker 4: one more doctor's visit to tell my husband. Because I'm

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Speaker 4: in my forties and i'm considered high rint.

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Speaker 2: I have to deal with people.

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Speaker 4: In my bier since my pregnancy to move or divorce

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Speaker 4: and moving on as a single mother. So I'm assuming

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Speaker 4: you all have no children, because now you're talking about

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Speaker 4: being a single mother. So I'm assuming y'all don't have

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Speaker 4: any kids. Meanwhile, he's free to go on with his life.

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Speaker 4: Well I don't think it's gonna be free.

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Speaker 2: See, you can't do people any kind of way you

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Speaker 2: want to and just walk out like it's free. Now

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Speaker 2: he is gonna move on with his.

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Speaker 4: Life, but he'll be moving on without that house. Hello,

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Speaker 4: And you gonna move on without this child supposed and

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Speaker 4: well that's what you're gonna leave at here, And it

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Speaker 4: looks like you're gonna be end up paying some type

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Speaker 4: of spousal support. See broum when you walk in the

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Speaker 4: house and you tell a woman, listen to me, I'm

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Speaker 4: going to court doctors a minute.

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Speaker 1: All ain't gonna you're an expert.

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Speaker 4: And now if this baby come here, and if you smart, lady,

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Speaker 4: lady lady, you will delay the divorce. And to the

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Speaker 4: child is bort just delayed the divorce because now you

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Speaker 4: will be going to the family court. Family courts are

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Speaker 4: way more lenient towards women. And you can ask Tyee

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Speaker 4: because he online right now talking about not just use

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Speaker 4: ty Reese's post as a reference for how men get

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Speaker 4: treated in family court. Once you have a child, your case.

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Speaker 2: Will go over to family court.

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Speaker 4: And then it's tilted very heavily towards the family, and

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Speaker 4: the family would be the woman because if she gets

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Speaker 4: custody at child. They don't take custody for mothers unless

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Speaker 4: you're unfit, so they do not do that. So, lady,

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Speaker 4: you have a lot of things going for you. To

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Speaker 4: stop looking at the negative and look at the positive,

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Speaker 4: you'll be rid of a person who don't want you.

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Speaker 4: And I would rather live by myself than to live

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Speaker 4: with somebody that don't want me. Keep looking for the

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Speaker 4: blessing in this instead of wallowing any pay and good

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Speaker 4: luck to your sisters.

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Speaker 2: You got to do a lot of praying for me

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Speaker 2: on outtime.

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Speaker 3: Thank you, Steve.

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Speaker 1: Leave your comments on today's letter on Instagram at Steve

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Speaker 1: Harvey Fm and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast. Coming

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Speaker 1: up next it is Sports Talk and Junior. Right after this,

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Speaker 1: you're listening Morning show