1 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:07,040 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and. 2 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:18,799 Speaker 2: Welcome to stephone never told your production of iHeartRadio, And 3 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:24,279 Speaker 2: welcome to another edition of Sminty Fiction Terminus, Chapter eleven 4 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:28,760 Speaker 2: point one. Because once again I'm really bad at controlling 5 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:33,160 Speaker 2: my chapter link, which I've also discovered is a fan 6 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:38,040 Speaker 2: fiction tag. Oh well, I like the introduction with that 7 00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:41,160 Speaker 2: voice like it was a specific like advertising. But yes, 8 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:45,559 Speaker 2: I'm very excited I told you this chapter which did 9 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:47,479 Speaker 2: get split into two. So this is part one of 10 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:50,960 Speaker 2: chapter eleven. I am really really excited to talk about. 11 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:53,760 Speaker 2: It's got a lot of issues, but we're going to 12 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 2: discuss them. So this is a once a month thing 13 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 2: we do. It is a bit more soundscaped, no, I 14 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:05,399 Speaker 2: mean we don't generally soundscape, so it's more soundscape than 15 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:08,440 Speaker 2: what we normally do, which is nothing. But Christina is 16 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:12,040 Speaker 2: the one behind that makes it amazing. So to just 17 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:14,680 Speaker 2: send the love to Christina, let us know, we'll pass 18 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:15,039 Speaker 2: it along. 19 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:18,000 Speaker 1: It's been doing so much good work, really has putting 20 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,559 Speaker 1: up with all of our nonsense. 21 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:27,120 Speaker 2: So yes, this is an ongoing thing and it is 22 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,959 Speaker 2: based on a Nana Raimo National Novel Writing Month that 23 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 2: my first one that I did back in twenty ten. 24 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:36,600 Speaker 2: It's not really edited. I like to look back and 25 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:38,440 Speaker 2: see what was going on in my head in this 26 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:39,800 Speaker 2: month that I wrote this. 27 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 1: But we're getting to some. 28 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 2: Of the good. The climax is coming. I'm very excited. 29 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:50,680 Speaker 2: So content warning before we get into this. Just in 30 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,920 Speaker 2: general child endangerment, not so much in this chapter, but 31 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:57,160 Speaker 2: it's just hanging over the whole thing. There is slutshaming, 32 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:02,080 Speaker 2: we'll talk about it, a discussion of infertility, wanting to 33 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:07,400 Speaker 2: have a kid and being unable to, toxic jealousy, which 34 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:09,240 Speaker 2: I don't know if it's a term, but I'm putting 35 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:14,160 Speaker 2: it in here. Mentions of violence, inadequacy, insults around the 36 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:19,320 Speaker 2: ability to be a mother, internalized ableism, shame and fear 37 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:23,919 Speaker 2: around pregnancy. This chapter will make you mad. I put parentheses, 38 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:27,760 Speaker 2: so that's fun. 39 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:29,079 Speaker 1: That is there. 40 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:33,239 Speaker 2: It is all right. So here's my recap. Humanity is 41 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:36,360 Speaker 2: dying out due to a sex based disease. There's a 42 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 2: new government that has taken control as the population collapses 43 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:44,519 Speaker 2: in on itself, and they are ruling, reigning alongside a 44 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 2: religious group named arm and they control everything that has 45 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:52,239 Speaker 2: to do with conception and if a child is born, 46 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:55,160 Speaker 2: they control everything about that as well. Our main character, 47 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:59,800 Speaker 2: Tilda escaped with her infant son, Madison. They have now 48 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:03,560 Speaker 2: been on the run for seven years. They are being 49 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:07,640 Speaker 2: followed by the Enforcers who work for the government, and 50 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 2: they have had run ins with them. 51 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 1: Tilda was injured. She was shot. There was a car chase. 52 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:18,080 Speaker 2: Tilda met a kind woman named Lynn, who helped Tilda 53 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 2: recover and told her about a resistance and a possible 54 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:28,040 Speaker 2: cure for this disease that might be in Kansas City. 55 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:32,040 Speaker 2: After a violent conflict with the enforcers that resulted in 56 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 2: a couple of fatalities, Tilda and Madison are saved by 57 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:40,320 Speaker 2: members of the resistance and are taken to their secret headquarters. 58 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:44,360 Speaker 2: That is where we left off, so let us get 59 00:03:44,440 --> 00:04:00,720 Speaker 2: right into it. How are you feeling? Tilda blinked to awareness, 60 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:04,280 Speaker 2: fragmented memories washing up on the shores of her consciousness. 61 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:08,240 Speaker 2: Zulika perched on the bed across from her. You've slept 62 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 2: for almost an entire day. I thought I'd better wake 63 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,920 Speaker 2: you up and see how you were doing. Pushing herself 64 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:17,200 Speaker 2: into a sitting position, she eyed the woman opposite her Critically. 65 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:20,640 Speaker 2: On shore, Zulika held out a cup of water for her, 66 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:24,480 Speaker 2: and she took it, sipping carefully. Madison pulled himself up 67 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 2: next to her, rubbing his eyes, and Tilda passed the 68 00:04:27,279 --> 00:04:32,440 Speaker 2: cup to him. He took it wordlessly. Zulika smiled at him. 69 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:35,600 Speaker 2: His hair stood up on one side. I thought you 70 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 2: might like some food and then we could go onto tour. 71 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:43,680 Speaker 2: Sound good? Tilda nodded, and Zu likea stood happily. Stay there, 72 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,080 Speaker 2: I'll bring you a tray. I figured you might want 73 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:48,400 Speaker 2: to eat in here. You probably aren't up to all 74 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:52,040 Speaker 2: the questions you'll get from this lot. The woman left 75 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 2: Tilda stretched, vanishing the last vestiges of sleep. Madison passed 76 00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:00,320 Speaker 2: the water back to Tilda, pressing into her side, watching 77 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:04,839 Speaker 2: the doorway fretfully. Neither of them spoke. Tilda didn't know 78 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:08,880 Speaker 2: what to say, consumed with nervous anticipation, red splottering on 79 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 2: white replaying relentlessly in the back of her mind. So 80 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:17,720 Speaker 2: you like a returned bouncing a large plastic tray? Could 81 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:21,080 Speaker 2: you pull that table over for me? Tilda tugged the 82 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 2: metal rolling table over. She imagined it was designed for 83 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 2: people too ill to get out of bed, So you 84 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 2: like a slid the tray onto the table. There were 85 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:36,360 Speaker 2: modest foods, but Tilda was happy to see them. Sliced apples, oatmeal, carrots, celery, 86 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 2: and a small cup of milk. You have milk, Tilda asked, dazedly. Yes, 87 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:47,200 Speaker 2: Suke responded, dragging a chair over. We have a few 88 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:51,320 Speaker 2: domesticated animals and a small garden. Our responsibilities are divided 89 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,719 Speaker 2: to keep the place running, and we have a group 90 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 2: in charge of scaveching food, growing food, making sure there's 91 00:05:57,720 --> 00:06:00,440 Speaker 2: enough and so on. We don't have much milk, but 92 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:04,039 Speaker 2: I thought, after all you've been through, you deserve some. 93 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,000 Speaker 2: Madison held the cup in his hands as though it 94 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:11,160 Speaker 2: were precious china. He'd never had milk before, at least 95 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:16,360 Speaker 2: not memory. Drink it slowly, okay, Tilda instructed, quietly rubbing 96 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:21,240 Speaker 2: his shoulder. It's amazing what you've done. Tilda looked up 97 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 2: at the woman, wary keeping from the enforcers all this time. 98 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:30,120 Speaker 2: Tilda didn't respond, not seeing anything amazing about it. Taking 99 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:33,640 Speaker 2: a bite of oatmeal, Tilda asked, do the enforcers know 100 00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:39,040 Speaker 2: you're here? Not precisely so, you like a scratched above 101 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:42,719 Speaker 2: her eye, sighing. They know there are some of us here, 102 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 2: but not so many. I expect they think we're just 103 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:49,599 Speaker 2: a group of stragglers, hold up together, lost causes, low priority, 104 00:06:50,839 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 2: so they don't know there's a resistance. Tilda found that 105 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 2: hard to believe, not one that could do them any 106 00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:01,800 Speaker 2: real harm. Pondering that, Tilda glanced over to Madison, who 107 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:05,440 Speaker 2: replaced his now empty cup on the tray. She laughed, 108 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:10,440 Speaker 2: you've got a bit of a mustache there, mouse, sheepish. 109 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:12,600 Speaker 2: He wiped his mouth with a cup of his jacket. 110 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:17,360 Speaker 2: Did you like it, he nodded enthusiastically, drawing a chortle 111 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:22,800 Speaker 2: from Zulaika. We'll get you more later, Madison blushed, munching 112 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 2: on an apple slice. 113 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 1: Could you. 114 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,560 Speaker 2: Tilda raised her eyes to meet zulikas, do you any 115 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:34,080 Speaker 2: real harm? Zulika considered her for a moment, then turned 116 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:40,440 Speaker 2: her a kitchen to Madison. Yes, she answered slowly. For 117 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:43,160 Speaker 2: some reason, even though it was the response Tilda had 118 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,800 Speaker 2: been hoping for, the tendrils of her boding itched at 119 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:49,080 Speaker 2: the back of her brain. How many of you are there? 120 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:51,000 Speaker 1: Not sure? 121 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:54,320 Speaker 2: Couple of hundred. I guess you'd have to ask Mark 122 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:57,080 Speaker 2: for the exact number. But Tilda was stuck on the 123 00:07:57,120 --> 00:08:04,040 Speaker 2: first part. Madison flabbergas did stuttered hundred. Yes, we've got 124 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:09,120 Speaker 2: lots of us crammed in here, adults, mostly some children, children, 125 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:15,280 Speaker 2: Madison exclaimed, while Tilda asked simultaneously, there are children here, yes. 126 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:20,720 Speaker 2: Zuleika's voice was wistful, almost bittersweet. Not many, but a few. 127 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:24,040 Speaker 2: Some were rescued by their parents and brought here. Others 128 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,560 Speaker 2: were born outside of conception centers and came here for 129 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:30,120 Speaker 2: protection and our resources. We even had one born here 130 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,400 Speaker 2: a couple of years ago. The mother was pregnant when 131 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:36,640 Speaker 2: she arrived. She wanted to go into hiding. Tilda felt 132 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:41,120 Speaker 2: faint for a moment processing this. Madison gawked at Zuleika. 133 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:46,720 Speaker 2: He'd never seen another child before. You can see them 134 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:50,719 Speaker 2: later if you like, Zulika offered, we have a playroom 135 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:55,520 Speaker 2: and a classroom. In her shock, Tilda momentarily forgot how 136 00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:57,800 Speaker 2: to swallow and almost choked on a bit of carrot. 137 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:01,960 Speaker 2: Appetites forgotten, Zulika rolled away at the table, and Madison 138 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:06,400 Speaker 2: immediately hopped down. Tilda realized she didn't have her pack. 139 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:09,080 Speaker 2: It sat on the floor next to the bed. She 140 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,120 Speaker 2: wondered if it had fallen off in the night, or 141 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:14,920 Speaker 2: someone had removed it for her, seeing her hesitation. Zue 142 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:17,679 Speaker 2: like I said, you can leave it here, no one 143 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:21,240 Speaker 2: will steal it. So it went against her instincts. So 144 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:23,680 Speaker 2: the last time she left her pack, her desperation for 145 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:27,520 Speaker 2: supplies had led to their capture. The lingering soreness in 146 00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 2: her lower back made the decision for her, and she 147 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:33,679 Speaker 2: left it sitting next to the bed. Zu likea tore 148 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,960 Speaker 2: to them around the underground complex, explaining its origins as 149 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 2: an underground war museum, how the resistance had started as 150 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:43,400 Speaker 2: just a few people, some that had defected from the 151 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:46,680 Speaker 2: state or conception centers, others just looking for some kind 152 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:51,720 Speaker 2: of meaning. Why are you here, Madison asked innocently, eyes 153 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:54,240 Speaker 2: wide as he stared at the rows of rooms, some 154 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:59,000 Speaker 2: occupied and some not. Tilda chided him for the personal question, 155 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,920 Speaker 2: but do you like to dismiss his apology? It's all right, 156 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:07,559 Speaker 2: I thought. I thought I could change things, make them better, 157 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:12,199 Speaker 2: have you? Madison took Tilda's hand, shying away from the 158 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:18,280 Speaker 2: passing strangers, openly staring at him. I hope so again. 159 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:21,559 Speaker 2: Tilda could detect something like melancholy in the woman's voice. 160 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 2: Are you ready to meet some of the other kids? 161 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:29,480 Speaker 2: Excitement and apprehension played on Madison's features, but he nodded emphatically. 162 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,280 Speaker 2: Tilda could feel his step quickened as you like had 163 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:34,559 Speaker 2: turned it down a corridor that had two large rooms 164 00:10:34,559 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 2: on either side. We call this the children's corner. That's 165 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:42,559 Speaker 2: the classroom. Madison stood on his tiptoes to see inside, 166 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:45,800 Speaker 2: and this she indicated the room on the right. He's 167 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:50,280 Speaker 2: the playroom. Inside there was an odd assortment of toys, puzzles, games, 168 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 2: and books on the shelves and littered on the floor. 169 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,720 Speaker 2: The walls had been decorated with blades of grass, dragonflies, 170 00:10:55,720 --> 00:11:00,560 Speaker 2: and flowers, with stars and planets on the ceiling. Children 171 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:05,360 Speaker 2: playing demanded all of Tilda's attention. Zulika called out, hello, children, 172 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:08,840 Speaker 2: I want you to meet Madison. She pulled Madison forward. 173 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:14,680 Speaker 2: He stumbled, stupefied Madison. This is Sophia, a girl with black, 174 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 2: curly locks of hair that looked a few years older 175 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 2: than Madison, smiled at him timidly, revealing a gap where 176 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:24,239 Speaker 2: she'd lost one of her front teeth. Casey, a teenaged 177 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:27,960 Speaker 2: looking kid with dark skin, nodded. And Phoenix, a red 178 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:31,200 Speaker 2: head that Tilda placed at around three waves, happily at him, 179 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,480 Speaker 2: Madison is going to play with you for a while, right. 180 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:38,880 Speaker 2: Tilda clutched his hand impulsively, afraid to let him go. 181 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:44,000 Speaker 2: He looked up at her, asking silently, forcing a smile 182 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:47,040 Speaker 2: on her face. She released her grip by sheer force 183 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:50,319 Speaker 2: of will, her fingers curling, aching to retake his hand 184 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:53,680 Speaker 2: to keep him from leaving, but she let him go. 185 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 2: He approached tentatively, kneeling down next to them. They all 186 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:02,640 Speaker 2: stared at each other, women stared at them. Sophia broke 187 00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:06,880 Speaker 2: the silence. Do you want to play a game? Madison nodded, 188 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:08,800 Speaker 2: and she pulled him to a shelf where they perused 189 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:12,720 Speaker 2: the games, Sophia giving basic rundowns of how each one worked. 190 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:17,760 Speaker 2: Tilda watched, transfixed and didn't shift her attention when Zulka said, 191 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,880 Speaker 2: come on, the leadership of the resistance wants to talk 192 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:25,680 Speaker 2: to you. But Tilda couldn't move. Madison had never left 193 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:28,000 Speaker 2: her sight other than when she slept or for a 194 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:31,200 Speaker 2: minute here and there. The thought of leaving him here 195 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 2: filled her with dread and panic. Her hands itching to 196 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:38,880 Speaker 2: reclaim his fingers fastened around her bicep, and she jumped, 197 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:46,559 Speaker 2: He'll be fine here, I promise. Tilda swallowed. Where shouldn't 198 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:50,320 Speaker 2: they have a supervisor? Casey is old enough to watch 199 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:54,199 Speaker 2: over them, Soulika assured in grants across the hall, He's 200 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:58,360 Speaker 2: one of our teachers. Madison, your mother and I will 201 00:12:58,400 --> 00:12:59,240 Speaker 2: be back in a little while. 202 00:12:59,240 --> 00:12:59,560 Speaker 1: Okay. 203 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:04,040 Speaker 2: Madison turned an uncertain gaze to them, but Sophia tugged 204 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:08,040 Speaker 2: his arm and regained his attention. Tilda allowed Zulika to 205 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:11,680 Speaker 2: lead her away, embarrassingly close to bursting into tears or 206 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:15,480 Speaker 2: taking Madison and bolting. A part of her was missing, 207 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:19,240 Speaker 2: a part she needed to breathe. She focused on drawing 208 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:23,719 Speaker 2: breath normally as the rooms and halls blurred past. Eventually, 209 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:26,200 Speaker 2: they came to a large dark room with a circular 210 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:29,840 Speaker 2: table sitting in the middle, Mark, Taylor, Amelia, Adam, and 211 00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:33,120 Speaker 2: two other men. She didn't recognize that around it. Zulika 212 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,040 Speaker 2: guided her to a chair and did the seat to 213 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:40,120 Speaker 2: her right. Silence fell across the table. Tilda didn't notice 214 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:45,840 Speaker 2: until someone broke it. This is Tilda Nohan. The others 215 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:50,880 Speaker 2: regarded her steadily. Mark leaned forward, eyes on wavering from Tilda. 216 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,160 Speaker 2: Can you tell us why you are a state priority 217 00:13:54,240 --> 00:14:00,640 Speaker 2: number one? Tilda shrugged, and responded hollowly. I didn't know 218 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:04,280 Speaker 2: I was, nor was she entirely sure what that meant, 219 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:09,920 Speaker 2: but she was too embarrassed to ask. It doesn't matter why, 220 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:13,520 Speaker 2: Taylor asserted, with the air of someone continuing an argument 221 00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:16,960 Speaker 2: that got interrupted. All that matters is that they are. 222 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,080 Speaker 2: From what I can tell. Adam put forth, it's not 223 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:23,800 Speaker 2: her they want, it's the kid her. They just assume kill. 224 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:27,480 Speaker 2: Why were they speaking about her like she wasn't here 225 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:32,880 Speaker 2: packaged deal? Taylor sat back in her chair, crossing her arms. 226 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:37,200 Speaker 2: That kid is not leaving her side willingly. That has 227 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:41,040 Speaker 2: got a brainwashed pretty good. Tilda's mouth fell open. 228 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:43,520 Speaker 1: Taylor. 229 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:49,040 Speaker 2: Amelia censured warningly what Directing her attention to Tilda, she accused, 230 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:51,120 Speaker 2: how old were you when you had him? 231 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:51,560 Speaker 1: Twelve? 232 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:57,240 Speaker 2: Tilda stared at her colored draining from her face. Shut up, Taylor. 233 00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:00,200 Speaker 2: One of the men Tilda didn't know cut in. You're 234 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:02,200 Speaker 2: just pissed as hell that she has a kid and 235 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:05,920 Speaker 2: you don't under the tables, you'd like to gave Tilda's 236 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:10,200 Speaker 2: fingers a brief squeeze. Back to the matter at hands, please, 237 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:14,640 Speaker 2: Mark scratched his scruffy facial hair. If we're going to 238 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:18,080 Speaker 2: do this, we need to act quickly. To Tilda, he asked, 239 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:21,520 Speaker 2: do you want to undermine the state's authority and put 240 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:25,920 Speaker 2: power back in the people's hands. Tilda stared at him blankly. 241 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:30,440 Speaker 2: Who talks like that? He threw his hands up in frustration. 242 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:33,640 Speaker 2: I have to say, I was expecting more from a 243 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:36,880 Speaker 2: damn priority number one. I thought they wanted you out 244 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:38,600 Speaker 2: of the way because they were afraid you'd start a 245 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 2: rebellion or something. I'm telling you they want the kid. 246 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:46,360 Speaker 2: Adam interrupted, but Mark waved him off. Why did you 247 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:53,400 Speaker 2: come here? Tilda floundered before venturing I heard there was 248 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:58,600 Speaker 2: a cure. She sounded so naive even to her own ears. 249 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:02,840 Speaker 2: Mark studied her for a moment, leaning back in his chair. No, 250 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,360 Speaker 2: Tilda's heart dropped, but his next statement had her jerking 251 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,400 Speaker 2: her head up to meet his cool gaze. But there 252 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:16,560 Speaker 2: is a vaccine, a vaccine. Her lips were numb, her 253 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:21,720 Speaker 2: mind racing as she computed what having a vaccine meant. Yes, 254 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:29,440 Speaker 2: Amelia said, or there was one? Tilda mouth was and 255 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:33,680 Speaker 2: Mark picked back up. A few scientists in Chicago developed 256 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:36,400 Speaker 2: one a few months back. Don't know why, but the 257 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:39,400 Speaker 2: enforcers destroyed the lab about a week ago. But we 258 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:42,000 Speaker 2: have reason to believe that there was a second lab 259 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:45,880 Speaker 2: when the enforcers didn't know about. There was an underlying 260 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:50,240 Speaker 2: current in the conversation that Tilda didn't understand, but they 261 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:54,280 Speaker 2: will find it soon. They're searching. So we need to 262 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,080 Speaker 2: leave now if we want to have a chance at 263 00:16:56,080 --> 00:17:00,560 Speaker 2: getting there first. Tilda glanced repstitiously around the ta, trying 264 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,680 Speaker 2: to get a read or why Mark would be addressing her. 265 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:06,560 Speaker 2: He'd already made clear she was a massive disappointment. Why 266 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:10,359 Speaker 2: everyone was staring at her. Her confusion must have shown 267 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:14,520 Speaker 2: on her face. Mark specified, we want you to come 268 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:19,680 Speaker 2: with us if anything. That baffled her even more. But 269 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:23,359 Speaker 2: you said, think about what a vaccine would do. You 270 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:27,800 Speaker 2: could protect Madison, your son from HSV five. We could 271 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:31,360 Speaker 2: start to have children again. We could rebuild, We could 272 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,760 Speaker 2: have hope. Don't you want to be part of that. 273 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:40,720 Speaker 2: None of this made sense to Tilda. You don't even 274 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:44,600 Speaker 2: know me, she pointed out weakly. And you want to 275 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:52,600 Speaker 2: take me to help. Mark's eyes shuddered. Yes, Tilda was 276 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:56,320 Speaker 2: shaking her head without even realizing it. She subconsciously looked 277 00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:59,560 Speaker 2: around her for Madison from beside her. As you like 278 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,680 Speaker 2: I said, I'm sure this is a lot you can 279 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:07,520 Speaker 2: think about it. We don't have time, Taylor snapped. If 280 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:09,960 Speaker 2: she's too scared to get a vaccine for her son, 281 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:14,120 Speaker 2: she's even more worthless than I thought. Smacking her hand 282 00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:16,720 Speaker 2: against the table, She stood abruptly and left the room. 283 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:21,879 Speaker 2: Ignore her to you, like untoned, raising her voice to 284 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:25,359 Speaker 2: address Mark, We won't be ready to move until at 285 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:28,639 Speaker 2: least a day. Merlin and Holly are still out getting 286 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:33,440 Speaker 2: vehicles and weapons. She can think about it. Tilda was 287 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,959 Speaker 2: still trying to grasp what happened. You better make your 288 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,960 Speaker 2: decision fast and the kid, Adam reminded Mark in a 289 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:46,840 Speaker 2: low voice, we have to take the kid. No, Tilda disagreed, hmently, 290 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:52,439 Speaker 2: I'm not taking him near enforcers. Oh so now you 291 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:58,080 Speaker 2: want to play responsible parent, Adam sniped. Riled, Tilda retorted instinctively, 292 00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:02,480 Speaker 2: you shot two men dead in front of him. We 293 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:06,560 Speaker 2: saved him and you, Adam argued, we protected him when 294 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:10,760 Speaker 2: you couldn't, till to ground her teeth, simultaneously outraged that 295 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,080 Speaker 2: he judged her when he hadn't been there during the 296 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:18,119 Speaker 2: years of evading capture and agreeing with him and taking 297 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:22,120 Speaker 2: him into a battlefield is the responsible thing. We're going 298 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:26,000 Speaker 2: to get him a vaccine, Mark interrupted, the first one. 299 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:30,480 Speaker 2: Your son will be the first of a new generation rebirth. 300 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:35,040 Speaker 2: We could bring the vaccine to him. Tilda argued, failing 301 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,879 Speaker 2: to comprehend how this idea made any semblance of sense. 302 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,439 Speaker 2: Why were they looking at her like she was the 303 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:46,840 Speaker 2: unintelligent one. Tension swelled in the room. Mark propped his 304 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:52,720 Speaker 2: elbows on the table. The enforcers won't kill Madison. They 305 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:57,160 Speaker 2: want him alive. Something in her mind shifted and fell 306 00:19:57,200 --> 00:20:00,400 Speaker 2: into place, a shadow like disgust dawning in the back 307 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:04,040 Speaker 2: of her mind. Her mouth fell open, and she forced 308 00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:09,080 Speaker 2: it back shut with a click. Sighing, Mark said, think 309 00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:12,320 Speaker 2: about it. He swiveled to face one of the other 310 00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:16,679 Speaker 2: men in the room. Any updates on that broadcast? No, 311 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,840 Speaker 2: The man a redhead ran a hand through his hair. 312 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:23,000 Speaker 2: The signal as strong as hell. We've pinpointed the point 313 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,320 Speaker 2: of origin at arms headquarters in DC. But as far 314 00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:31,760 Speaker 2: as hacking into it, he excelled heavily, I think remote 315 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:34,760 Speaker 2: is out of the question. Don't get me wrong. We're 316 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,399 Speaker 2: happy to keep at it. Maybe boosting our own signal 317 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,040 Speaker 2: will help, But as of now I think it has 318 00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:42,920 Speaker 2: to be done manually at the main hub. He licked 319 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:46,199 Speaker 2: his lips. We'd have to infiltrate ARM and jack the 320 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:51,520 Speaker 2: signal that way. Silence fell as everyone digested that Tilda 321 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:56,640 Speaker 2: only half listening and aching helplessness flourishing within her damn 322 00:20:57,119 --> 00:21:00,280 Speaker 2: Mark hissed. The redhead stared at his hand and as 323 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:01,639 Speaker 2: palms flat against the table. 324 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:02,360 Speaker 1: I know. 325 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:06,879 Speaker 2: We have to get the message out there, Mark exclaimed. 326 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:11,359 Speaker 2: The people need to know there's a vaccine. We'll keep trying. 327 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:16,960 Speaker 2: We could start looking at training someone for infiltration, Adam suggested. 328 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:22,280 Speaker 2: Amelia protested. They'd have to get into ARM headquarters, the 329 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:25,959 Speaker 2: most heavily guarded building left, find out where the system is, 330 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,040 Speaker 2: how to work it, send out the message, which, by 331 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,960 Speaker 2: the way, would give them away immediately if they managed 332 00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:36,720 Speaker 2: to make it that far undetected. Sometimes sacrifices must be made, 333 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:41,200 Speaker 2: Mark countered an eclipped voice. No one responded to that, 334 00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:43,920 Speaker 2: All eyes fixed on the tabletop in front of them, 335 00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:46,760 Speaker 2: unwilling to speculate on which of them may end up 336 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,919 Speaker 2: with that task, Waiting for someone to volunteer or to 337 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:54,399 Speaker 2: be volunteered. Tilda couldn't shake the overbearing sensation of feeling 338 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:58,399 Speaker 2: young and naive. Why hadn't she realized it would be 339 00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:03,679 Speaker 2: like this? Keep working, Mark instructed, in the meantime, we 340 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,080 Speaker 2: need to focus on getting the vaccine and finding some 341 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:10,639 Speaker 2: way of replicating it. Does anyone have anything else? No 342 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,840 Speaker 2: one made a move to speak, so Mark adjoined the 343 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,760 Speaker 2: meeting soil To practically jumped out of her seat, striding 344 00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:19,679 Speaker 2: down the hall, only barely keeping herself from running, instinct 345 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:43,640 Speaker 2: leading her to Madison. That brings us to the end 346 00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:49,520 Speaker 2: of this eleven point one chapter of Terminus. I did 347 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,680 Speaker 2: want to my address a couple of things in this one, okay, 348 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:55,639 Speaker 2: So first of all, yes, there was slut shaming. It 349 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:59,040 Speaker 2: was very purposefully done. It's not something that I read 350 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:00,600 Speaker 2: back on and was like, oh, I didn't know that 351 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,720 Speaker 2: was slutshaming. I knew it was slutshaming when I wrote it, 352 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:08,600 Speaker 2: and that was when I was thinking about this world 353 00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,400 Speaker 2: and how it would exist in this especially the religious 354 00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:15,080 Speaker 2: part of it that I just thought would rise up. 355 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:17,480 Speaker 1: I feel like there. 356 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:22,119 Speaker 2: Would be slutshaming of anyone who got pregnant outside of 357 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,520 Speaker 2: a conception center, because it would be seen as like 358 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:29,080 Speaker 2: you couldn't control the old self. And heavy quotes, so 359 00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:31,840 Speaker 2: it was purposely done, and I just wanted to acknowledge 360 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:35,119 Speaker 2: that it's horrible and toxic and gross. And when I 361 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,840 Speaker 2: was reading it, I was getting really mad and that 362 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,359 Speaker 2: character because I know I said in the last edition 363 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:44,119 Speaker 2: of this that I choose names very purposefully. I just 364 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:47,359 Speaker 2: want to also say that character is not based on 365 00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:51,119 Speaker 2: Taylor Swift, even though she kind of is described looking 366 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:52,840 Speaker 2: like her and her name was Taylor. 367 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:57,080 Speaker 1: That is not where that came from. Oh my, yes, 368 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,320 Speaker 1: that is not it. But also. 369 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,600 Speaker 2: It's fascinating to me reading back over this because this 370 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:06,800 Speaker 2: is a thing that sometimes breaks my heart in a 371 00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,720 Speaker 2: lot of media I read or write or see now 372 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,360 Speaker 2: and I think it's I mean that in a way, 373 00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,960 Speaker 2: a good way, like in the in the Nicole Kidman 374 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,520 Speaker 2: theater way where she's like, this is where heartbreak is. Okay, 375 00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:21,159 Speaker 2: some people don't know what I'm talking about her, like 376 00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:25,879 Speaker 2: what is going on? But I mean that in like 377 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,960 Speaker 2: a good story way. I don't mean that in a 378 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,680 Speaker 2: bad way, but where you think like you're going to 379 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:33,040 Speaker 2: get to this resistance, you're going to get this cure, 380 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,959 Speaker 2: You're going to like here's your hope, and it's just 381 00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:40,719 Speaker 2: not what you thought it was, and that disappointment and 382 00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:44,919 Speaker 2: that let down, and not only that in this case, 383 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:51,160 Speaker 2: not only is is it not what Tilda thought? She's 384 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:55,720 Speaker 2: kind of being villainized by everyone for having a kid. 385 00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:58,560 Speaker 2: Not everyone, some people are definitely on her side, but 386 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:03,120 Speaker 2: it's also too kind of the real it's very sad 387 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:07,760 Speaker 2: looking back at this of the Madison never having seen 388 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:11,800 Speaker 2: another child before. That was his first time seeing other kids, 389 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,119 Speaker 2: which all of their names. I was like, oh, I 390 00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:16,240 Speaker 2: know who I named this after. 391 00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:19,040 Speaker 1: But yeah, it was cool. It was cool and sad. 392 00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:23,720 Speaker 2: And this is also where I tried to write romance, 393 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:27,600 Speaker 2: and it's clear I did not care about it at all. 394 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,919 Speaker 2: So if you were picking up on some strange vibe, 395 00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:35,040 Speaker 2: that is what it was. 396 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:40,960 Speaker 1: I like it as even better awkward romance. Oh so awkward, 397 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:42,840 Speaker 1: and I knew exactly who it was. 398 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,639 Speaker 2: And I would love listends to write in who you 399 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:46,879 Speaker 2: thought it was, because I'm not going to say, because 400 00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,240 Speaker 2: when I was looking back over it, I was like, 401 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,560 Speaker 2: there's nothing romantic about this, And this is in fact 402 00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:53,919 Speaker 2: kind of a like antagonistic. 403 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,760 Speaker 1: Relations Is it like a second grade romance? 404 00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:59,960 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, exactly, like pulling the hair and then run away, yeah, runaway. 405 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:01,119 Speaker 1: Yeah, no it is. 406 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:05,080 Speaker 2: I mean it's not even like I remember thinking it 407 00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:06,640 Speaker 2: was going to be romance. But when I read back 408 00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:09,720 Speaker 2: over it, I would be shocked if anyone else who 409 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:11,399 Speaker 2: read this thought there was going to be a romance. 410 00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:13,360 Speaker 1: It was like, no hints at all. He's just kind 411 00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:13,960 Speaker 1: of mean to her. 412 00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:19,439 Speaker 2: But anyway, perfect Looking back, I'm now like, yeah, you 413 00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:23,320 Speaker 2: probably were asexual back then, dude, I just didn't realize 414 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:26,639 Speaker 2: did not care about any of that. But yes, I 415 00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:29,320 Speaker 2: hope that you enjoyed this chapter, even though it probably 416 00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:31,000 Speaker 2: really frustrated you and made you angry. 417 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:34,560 Speaker 1: It did me too. And we'll be back with part 418 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:36,840 Speaker 1: two uh next month. 419 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,359 Speaker 2: But in the meantime, if you have any thoughts, any theories, 420 00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:42,639 Speaker 2: any guesses, or any suggestions for other fiction things we 421 00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:44,399 Speaker 2: could do that are in the public domain, that'd be 422 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:46,840 Speaker 2: really cool. You can emailus atep Media mom Stuff at 423 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:50,159 Speaker 2: iHeartMedia dot com. You can find us on Twitter I 424 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:54,200 Speaker 2: guess uh mom Stuff podcast. You can find us on 425 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:57,480 Speaker 2: Instagram and TikTok at stuff I've never told you. We 426 00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:00,640 Speaker 2: have a tea public store with some merchandise uh, and 427 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,439 Speaker 2: we have a book that you can pre order at 428 00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:05,720 Speaker 2: stuff you should read books dot com, both as a 429 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,959 Speaker 2: physical book and an audiobook things. As always, to our 430 00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:10,680 Speaker 2: super producer Christina who makes. 431 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:13,200 Speaker 1: This happen, thank you, thank you, thank you, Yes. 432 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:17,160 Speaker 2: Our executive producer Maya and our contributor Joey also thank you, Yes, 433 00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:20,280 Speaker 2: and thanks to you for listening stuff I've never told 434 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:22,040 Speaker 2: you the production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts in my 435 00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:23,680 Speaker 2: heart Radio, you can check out the heart Radio app, 436 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:24,440 Speaker 2: Apple podcast, or 437 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,000 Speaker 1: Wherever you listen to your favorite shows,