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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute

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Speaker 1: break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.

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Speaker 2: Maya strange sister said, I robbed her by not telling

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Speaker 2: her about my daughter's condition.

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Speaker 3: I don't think I owe you that.

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Speaker 2: My oldest sister, thirty six, and I thirty nine, have

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Speaker 2: always been total opposites. I was the weird introvert who

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Speaker 2: worked two jobs all through high school and got out

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Speaker 2: of town as soon as I could. My sister was

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Speaker 2: homecoming queen who married her high school sweetheart and still

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Speaker 2: lives in his grandparents' house. About thirteen years ago, my

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Speaker 2: sister and I had a big fight that ended with

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Speaker 2: her telling me to never call her again. By the way,

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Speaker 2: this comes from another Southern mom on the r slash

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Speaker 2: Charlotte Dobray's YouTube subreddit, and if you want to spit

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Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime subreddit.

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Speaker 2: I'm Sophia and I'm Angie, and Op says, in those

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Speaker 2: thirteen years, I have gone either low contact or no

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Speaker 2: contact with most of the rest of my family. My

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Speaker 2: sister from what I've learned in the last week has

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Speaker 2: gone no contact with our entire family except for one cousin.

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Speaker 2: Here's the issue. Earlier this year, my oldest fourteen female

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Speaker 2: was diagnosed with a life changing, not life risky condition

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Speaker 2: that is genetic. Her doctor advised that I should tell

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Speaker 2: my siblings and any first cousins. I told my younger

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Speaker 2: siblings straight off. One is set against kids and this

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Speaker 2: has just reinforced it, and was able to get in

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Speaker 2: touch with all of my cousins by the end of March.

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Speaker 2: I tried to reach her a couple of different ways,

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Speaker 2: but no dice, so I shrugged and moved on. Last month,

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Speaker 2: my daughter's godmother started to GoFundMe to help pay for

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Speaker 2: a summer camp for kids with her condition. She was

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Speaker 2: able to go and have a great time, and someone

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Speaker 2: from my hometown shared it on one of their local

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Speaker 2: Facebook pages with the description of her condition, including the

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Speaker 2: fact that it can be hereditary. My sister lost her crap.

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Speaker 2: She started blasting me on Facebook and Insta and telling

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Speaker 2: everyone in our hometown that I didn't even reach out

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Speaker 2: to our art to let her know that it was

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Speaker 2: possibility for concern. Not gonna lie. I really don't care

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Speaker 2: what a bunch of small town hicks think of me.

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Speaker 2: But am I the A hole? Comment one says, not

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Speaker 2: the a hole. You haven't talked to her in years,

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Speaker 2: and you already informed a bunch of people this woman

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Speaker 2: is trying to start something. Why now, I don't know,

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Speaker 2: Opie says, because she thrives on drama and I don't

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Speaker 2: give it to her. Honestly, I don't really care, but

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Speaker 2: I'm being told I have to. Comment two says, you

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Speaker 2: told multiple family members, but none of them telling her

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Speaker 2: means nobody in your family cares for her because she sucks.

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Speaker 2: Not the a hole updates Now, Most of what I

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Speaker 2: know is coming secondhand, because obviously I've got enough on

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Speaker 2: my plate to worry about without adding this de Lulu

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Speaker 2: lemonade on top. This morning I got a call from

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Speaker 2: our youngest sister, twenty one. She and I have a

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Speaker 2: standing once a month phone call. I see how she's

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Speaker 2: doing in school, first person in our family to get

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Speaker 2: a bachelor's degree, super proud of her, high nugget, high nugget,

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Speaker 2: and she asks about the kids. Then she asks the

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Speaker 2: weird question, have I talked to mom recently? Here's why

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Speaker 2: it's weird. My youngest sister is my half sister, so

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Speaker 2: she doesn't talk to my mom all that much, but

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Speaker 2: she is a member of our hometown Facebook page. Apparently

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Speaker 2: my mom put my sister on the last all over

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Speaker 2: the town's page. According to ys, my mom posted about

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Speaker 2: the fact that not only had she informed my sister

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Speaker 2: of my daughter's condition, so this sister was it told.

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Speaker 2: The sister was freaking told.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 2: But the two of them had a long drawn out

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Speaker 2: discussion about what it would mean for her kids and

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Speaker 2: their kids. There was a lot more to the post,

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Speaker 2: but it's got nothing to do with this story. Now.

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Speaker 2: I did not know that my mom and older sister talked.

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Speaker 2: The last I knew. Older sister had gone no contact

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Speaker 2: with everyone except one cousin who didn't grow up in

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Speaker 2: our town and currently lives overseas. My sister and I

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Speaker 2: talked for a little while longer, and I went about

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Speaker 2: my day. Here's where it gets interesting.

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Speaker 3: Who I'm intrigued.

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Speaker 2: My mom's Facebook post was made last night, either just

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Speaker 2: before or just after I posted the original story here

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Speaker 2: on Reddit. At some point during the night, the two

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Speaker 2: of them got into a war on the town Facebook page,

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Speaker 2: mind you, This is a page that gets maybe fifteen

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Speaker 2: posts a week, mainly the weekly farmer's market and spottings

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Speaker 2: of the black bear that wanders through town. And then

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Speaker 2: my daughter's godmother got involved. And by got involved, I

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Speaker 2: mean I got a text two hours ago that says

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Speaker 2: I got you witch that I just saw twenty minutes ago.

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Speaker 2: Please don't ask me how a woman who's never been

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Speaker 2: the south of the Mason Dixon found her way onto

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Speaker 2: a Facebook page for a very small southern town because

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Speaker 2: I got no clue. She's originally from Detroit, and she

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Speaker 2: came with receipts. The first thing my girlfriend did was

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Speaker 2: thank everyone for their very generous donations. She also was

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Speaker 2: able to inform them that since there was such an

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Speaker 2: amazing outpouring of contributions, the camp was able to offer

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Speaker 2: two other children financial support. I did not know this,

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Speaker 2: because she dealt with everything. I just signed the paper.

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Speaker 2: She then went on to say how sad she was.

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Speaker 2: That's such a fantastic show of support for a fourteen

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Speaker 2: year old who had such a drastic change and lifestyle

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Speaker 2: was so tainted by the resentment of those not as

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Speaker 2: fortunate to have such a brilliant child in their life.

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Speaker 2: She finished it off by saying how fortunate she was

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Speaker 2: to have such an amazing and talented niece, and posted

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Speaker 2: a picture of the two of them at the camp

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Speaker 2: drop off. So, as it turns out, I don't have

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Speaker 2: to get involved. I really don't care if something else happens,

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Speaker 2: but if it does, I'll let you know. And there

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Speaker 2: are some comments here. Yeah, I guess everyone's, like, you know,

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Speaker 2: standing up for you. So it's all right, that's great.

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Speaker 2: Things are being taken care of socially at least. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and that's all you need. You're off the look, you're good.

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Speaker 2: Let everyone else handle it, and you just sit back.

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Speaker 2: The common one says weird variant here, I'm the one

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Speaker 2: with a hereditary condition that won't unlive me but certainly

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Speaker 2: makes life harder. Only one other family member has taken

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Speaker 2: the information with more than a grain of salt. Awkwardly,

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Speaker 2: that family member has a cousin who's dog as the

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Speaker 2: same condition. The dog gets way more support. Oh my gosh, yeah,

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Speaker 2: a dog none of my immediate family have ever met

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Speaker 2: because it lives in California. I get that the dog

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Speaker 2: is probably way cuter, but I'm probably never gonna not

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Speaker 2: be salty about it. You did what you could and

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Speaker 2: needed to do. It's not your fault if they were

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Speaker 2: both unreceptive and deceptive about the information update too. Before

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Speaker 2: the update, I just wanted to let everyone know that

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Speaker 2: my daughter got back from camp a few days ago.

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Speaker 2: She had an amazing time, made some great friends all

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Speaker 2: over the country and a couple from our beloved Queen's

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Speaker 2: Neck of the woods, and learned some great tips and

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Speaker 2: tricks to deal with her condition. Overall, it was an

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Speaker 2: amazing experience for her and we look forward to her

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Speaker 2: being able to go next year. Now, coups and loaves,

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Speaker 2: I'll pour the tea. So Rodb made friends with some

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Speaker 2: of the grannies in my hometown, like full on trading

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Speaker 2: recipes and crochet projects. Fully integrated herself into the friend group.

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Speaker 2: She even attended church via zoom last weekend. She called

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Speaker 2: me asking what to uber eats deliver food to the

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Speaker 2: after church potluck, and if I knew any of the hymns.

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Speaker 2: Mind you, she's Jewish and this is a Baptist church

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Speaker 2: that I haven't been to in years. At this point,

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Speaker 2: I think she's the most popular person in a town.

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Speaker 2: She's never been to. It's awesome. She's also still a

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Speaker 2: member of the town facebook page. However, she hasn't posted

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Speaker 2: anything since her big thank you so much for the

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Speaker 2: sport post, But guests, who did that's right? My sister

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Speaker 2: Last week she posted something passive aggressive about family betrayal

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Speaker 2: and sharing valuable health information that could affect our children,

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Speaker 2: and I guess I'm not the only person she's been

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Speaker 2: craft talking. Side note, did you know that the account

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Speaker 2: holder of cell phone can go onto their portal and

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Speaker 2: pull up a log of calls going back as far

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Speaker 2: as five years, including block numbers. I didn't, but my

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Speaker 2: soon to be ex brother in law did. Apparently one

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Speaker 2: of my daughter's godmother's new knitting circle friends is my

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Speaker 2: brother in law's aunt, and according to her, the divorce

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Speaker 2: is nasty. And I guess yesterday he posted everything that

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Speaker 2: the judge won't let him use in the divorce proceedings,

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Speaker 2: including but not limited to, screenshots of my sister's phone

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Speaker 2: logs without actual phone numbers, and my sister's OHF page.

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Speaker 2: I really don't want to know about this one, but

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Speaker 2: I have to suffer. So do you text between her

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Speaker 2: and another guy? And some text messages between brother in

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Speaker 2: law and the guy that I guess my sister was

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Speaker 2: cheating on him with.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 2: At this point, I think my sister is going to

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Speaker 2: dig her way to China, but I've decided I really

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Speaker 2: don't want to know anymore. I did reach out to

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Speaker 2: my brother in law with family medical history, and he

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Speaker 2: and I will stay cordial just in case. So yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's it. I don't think there will be any more

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Speaker 2: in this saga, but as always, we'll see and that

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Speaker 2: is the end of that story.

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Speaker 3: Folks, Apparently all we have in this saga.

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Speaker 2: Dang. Yeah gosh, it just heure's a mess. But it

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Speaker 2: seems like you got a lot of people on your side,

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Speaker 2: so yeah, that's all that matters. My goodness.

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Speaker 3: I told my mother not to outshine me at my

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Speaker 3: own wedding.

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Speaker 2: Get your own wedding.

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Speaker 3: I twenty six female. I'm getting married later this year.

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Speaker 3: And while weddings are supposed to be magical and all

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Speaker 3: about the bride, there's one small problem. My mother forty

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Speaker 3: nine at female, is drop dang gorgeous and has the

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Speaker 3: personality of a Bollywood hero on her third espresso. She's

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Speaker 3: not evil, I swear, she's just accidentally fabulous, the kind

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Speaker 3: of person who could wear a potato sack and still

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Speaker 3: get compliments like you're glowing. Meanwhile I'm standing there. In

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Speaker 3: Swarovsky studied Cooteur giving discount bridesmaide out of budget, wedding

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Speaker 3: vibes and comparison. By the way, this comes from Gojo's

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Speaker 3: Wifey is zero seven to one to two on the

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Speaker 3: Charlotte Dober YouTube subredit and if you want to submit

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Speaker 3: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime

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Speaker 3: subred it and I'm Angie, I'm Sophia, and Opie says

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Speaker 3: this isn't new. Growing up, I was constantly in her shadow.

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Speaker 3: People would meet her and then look at me like

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Speaker 3: I'd been adopted from a slightly less glamorous family across

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Speaker 3: the street. I've had relatives ask if I was the

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Speaker 3: help or if I was the neighbor's kid tagging along. Ooh, thanks,

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Speaker 3: Auntie Sanita. I've fought tooth and nail to grow out

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Speaker 3: of that. College was my turning point. I met people

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Speaker 3: who saw me for me, my humor, my kindness, my charisma.

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Speaker 2: I've worked through.

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Speaker 3: Years of self doubt and finally reached a place where

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Speaker 3: I don't just tolerate myself. I like myself. But then

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Speaker 3: wedding planning began and those old feelings came rushing back

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Speaker 3: like bad nineties fashion. Earlier this year, my brother got married.

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Speaker 3: My mom wore this shimmering regal lehanga and walked into

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Speaker 3: the wedding like it was her big day. My sister

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Speaker 3: in law, bless her zen soul, wasn't phased, but I

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Speaker 3: was watching from the sidelines, thinking please not again. So

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Speaker 3: here I am tempted to have the conversation. I wouldn't

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Speaker 3: gently ask her to tone it down for my wedding,

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Speaker 3: not to wear something dull or unflattering, just maybe don't

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Speaker 3: show up looking like a goddess who just descended from

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Speaker 3: Mount Kailash. I want to be the one people look at,

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Speaker 3: just this one without adding a mental footnote of but

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Speaker 3: did you see her? Mom? But I haven't said anything yet.

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Speaker 3: I'm scared that it'll come off as petty or insecure,

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Speaker 3: or worse hurtful. And I know that she doesn't mean

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Speaker 3: to steal the spotlight. It just kind of follows her

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Speaker 3: around like a backup dancer. So am I the a

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Speaker 3: hole for wanting my mom to dress appropriately? And not

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Speaker 3: look like the main character at my wedding, or am

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Speaker 3: I just protecting my childhood trauma onto a lehegna and

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Speaker 3: there is an update. I went ahead and brought this

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Speaker 3: up with my family, starting with my brother twenty eight mail.

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Speaker 3: I thought he'd be the one person who'd get where

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Speaker 3: I was coming from. He's older, he's the favorite. I

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Speaker 3: don't know if my mom would agree, but it feels

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Speaker 3: that way sometimes, and he's always been super protective of her,

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Speaker 3: so I thought, Okay, let me try talking to him

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Speaker 3: first and maybe he can help me navigate this. At first,

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Speaker 3: everything was going well. We were chatting about how we

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Speaker 3: could approach our mom without making it feel like a

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Speaker 3: huge deal. I even had my fiance twenty six mail

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Speaker 3: with me, thinking that he'd be the calm voice of reason,

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Speaker 3: but that didn't exactly go as planned. Oh my fiance,

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Speaker 3: who I've been with for four years, by the way,

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Speaker 3: suddenly turned to me and said, why are you making

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Speaker 3: such a big deal out of this? It's not even

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Speaker 3: not important. I was totally taken aback. He knows exactly

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Speaker 3: what I've been through growing up with my mom always

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Speaker 3: being the center of attention, and to hear him dismiss

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Speaker 3: something that's clearly important to me.

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Speaker 2: It was like a slap in the face.

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Speaker 3: So I tried to explain that it's not about being

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Speaker 3: petti or and secure. This wedding is supposed to be

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Speaker 3: about us. It's supposed to be my day where I

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Speaker 3: feel like the center of attention just for once. And

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Speaker 3: what does he say, You'll never be the center of

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Speaker 3: attention in front of your mother. Just stop this nonsense

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Speaker 3: and let's get the wedding over with. I was floored.

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Speaker 3: I have never heard him talk to me like that.

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Speaker 3: It was completely out of the blue, and honestly, it

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Speaker 3: broke my heart. I could feel myself about to cry,

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Speaker 3: which for me is rare, and that just made my

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Speaker 3: brother snap. He was really mad, trying his best to

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Speaker 3: stay calm but clearly upset, and told my fiance, this

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Speaker 3: is the person you've been with for four years. You

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Speaker 3: know her. If she's telling you this is bothering her

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Speaker 3: as a partner, you should listen. But my fiance didn't

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Speaker 3: get it. He just doubled down, saying that I needed

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Speaker 3: to get over my petty insecurities and grow up. That

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Speaker 3: hit me like a ton of bricks, and in that

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Speaker 3: moment I just said I couldn't. I stood up, looked

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Speaker 3: at him and said, if that's how you feel, then

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Speaker 3: maybe we shouldn't get married at all. And I left.

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Speaker 3: My brother followed me, trying to come for me. But

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Speaker 3: it's been two days since then and I haven't spoken

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Speaker 3: to my fiance. He's been reaching out, trying to connect,

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Speaker 3: but right now I'm not sure I even want to

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Speaker 3: talk to him. My brother has spoken to my parents,

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Speaker 3: who knows how thing went down, but they're not sure

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Speaker 3: what exactly. To be honest, I'm really struggling with whether

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Speaker 3: or not I even want to marry this person anymore.

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Speaker 3: It's like I don't even recognize him. I've been thinking

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Speaker 3: a lot about this relationship, and I don't know if

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Speaker 3: I'm in love with him anymore, or if I even

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00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:17,640
Speaker 3: know him anymore. I just want to clarify that he's

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Speaker 3: never been weird around my mom. He genuinely thinks of

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Speaker 3: her as his own mother. His mom passed away when

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Speaker 3: he was young, and over the past few years, my

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00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:27,880
Speaker 3: mom has been incredibly kind and nurturing towards him, which

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Speaker 3: he truly appreciates. Coming from an Indian family, I've never

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Speaker 3: introduced any of my previous partners, to my family before

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Speaker 3: my fiance. It's a big step for many of us.

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Speaker 3: That being said, his recent response was utterly disgusting and

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Speaker 3: completely unexpected. This kind of behavior is not typical of him.

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Speaker 3: He has never disregarded my feelings before. In fact, he's

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Speaker 3: always been the one to validate them and stand by me.

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Speaker 3: But we do have an updates. Oh my goodness, I.

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Speaker 2: Think it's super fair for you want to at least

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Speaker 2: call off, you know, be delay it if you, I mean,

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Speaker 2: have a conversation. Yeah, see why he say and all that,

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Speaker 2: but be like, hey, like, had you know why this

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Speaker 2: affected me?

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Speaker 4: Right?

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Speaker 2: Trying to make it not a big deal? And if

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Speaker 2: you can't support me, like, yeah, I don't know if

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Speaker 2: you're not looking forward to the wedding, I don't know

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Speaker 2: if this is going to work.

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Speaker 3: Like you're the one person, if no one else, that

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Speaker 3: should support me and like understand my indsecurities and try

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Speaker 3: to build me up instead of just telling me to

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Speaker 3: get over it exactly like does does do you even

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Speaker 3: want a wedding if you just want to get it

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Speaker 3: over with? Yeah, something you're not looking forward to?

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Speaker 2: Like what ridiculous?

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Speaker 3: So we do have another update. Let's start with my mom.

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Speaker 3: After everything blew up with my fiance, I decided to

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Speaker 3: finally have that conversation with her and my dad. It

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Speaker 3: was scary, because how do you tell your own mother,

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Speaker 3: someone you love, deeply admire, and who's never intentionally hurt you,

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Speaker 3: that her presence has sometimes made you feel invisible. At first,

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Speaker 3: she laughed it off. She thought I was being dramatic

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Speaker 3: and overly emotional because of wedding stress. But I didn't

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Speaker 3: back down. I walked her through what it felt like

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Speaker 3: growing up in her shadow, the comment the comparisons, the

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00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,720
Speaker 3: way I would shrink into the background even when I

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Speaker 3: desperately wanted to be seen. It wasn't an easy talk.

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00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:10,960
Speaker 3: There were tears, there was silence, but slowly she began

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Speaker 3: to really hear me. And then my dad chimed in,

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Speaker 3: and that changed everything. He told her he'd seen me

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Speaker 3: struggle for years, oh wow, that while she is the

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Speaker 3: center of his world, he always noticed how hard it

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00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:23,720
Speaker 3: was for me to stand out in a room that

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Speaker 3: she walked into. He admitted that he never truly sat

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00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:29,080
Speaker 3: her down to talk about it before, but now seeing

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00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:32,680
Speaker 3: how deeply it affected me, he wished he had I've

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00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:35,080
Speaker 3: never felt more seen by both of them. Since then,

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00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:38,360
Speaker 3: my mom has been trying, genuinely trying. She's been asking

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00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:40,080
Speaker 3: me about what I want to wear, what kind of

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00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,040
Speaker 3: tone I want for the wedding, how I want to

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00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,160
Speaker 3: feel that day. She even said that she won't make

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00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:47,320
Speaker 3: any grand entrances and has asked me what she should

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00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:51,080
Speaker 3: wear to make sure that it compliments, not competes. She's

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00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,840
Speaker 3: stepping back not because she's being forced to, but because

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00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:58,480
Speaker 3: she finally understands and that means everything now about my

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00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:02,880
Speaker 3: ex fiance. After the incident where he completely dismissed my feelings,

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00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:05,240
Speaker 3: I took time to process everything, and then I told

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00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:09,000
Speaker 3: my parents what happened. My dad was livid and disappointed

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Speaker 3: in a way that I've never seen before. He sat

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Speaker 3: my fiance down and said, and they quote, she's been

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Speaker 3: in the background all her life and wants to be

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Speaker 3: in the spotlight once. You not supporting that shows that

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Speaker 3: you want her to stay in the background forever. I'd

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00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:26,439
Speaker 3: rather have my daughter unmarried and glowing than have her

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Speaker 3: be married and doled down.

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Speaker 2: For the rest of her life. Ooh, good dad, good dad.

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00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:33,760
Speaker 3: That's like such a great way to explain it. Yeah,

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00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:37,119
Speaker 3: so the shocker. His father agreed with mine.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,359
Speaker 3: He told me privately that he was proud of me

361
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,800
Speaker 3: for standing up for myself. Okay, he said that he

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00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,159
Speaker 3: wished his son had handled things differently, and that he

363
00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:49,359
Speaker 3: supports whatever decision I make. So I made it. I'm

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Speaker 3: calling off the wedding.

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00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:52,080
Speaker 2: Yay. It's bittersweet.

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00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:54,520
Speaker 3: If I'm honest, I loved him, I still do, but

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00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,240
Speaker 3: I don't respect or trust him anymore. I thought he

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00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,480
Speaker 3: was my person. But if someone can look at you

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Speaker 3: during one of the most emotionally vulnerable times of your

370
00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:05,280
Speaker 3: life and say just get over it, then maybe they

371
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:08,240
Speaker 3: never saw you to begin with. This wasn't just one

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00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,600
Speaker 3: fight or a bad day. It was the moment that

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00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,960
Speaker 3: I realized that my feelings could be tossed aside like

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00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,560
Speaker 3: they were inconvenient. And I'm not someone who puts herself second,

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Speaker 3: not for anyone. I never have been. But there is

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00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,280
Speaker 3: a little bit more to the story. Yeah, I think

377
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,320
Speaker 3: that's amazing.

378
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,879
Speaker 2: I'm so glad that your dad was on your side

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00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:28,160
Speaker 2: and your parents are so receptive to all of this.

380
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:30,800
Speaker 3: And that your fiance's dad was on your side too.

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00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,720
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean it sucks that your fiance sucks, but

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00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,520
Speaker 2: of course I'm glad that you stood up to yourself,

383
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,240
Speaker 2: stood up for yourself. Yeah, before you got married.

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00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:43,040
Speaker 3: M Yeah, absolutely, there is a little bit more so, Yes,

385
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:46,280
Speaker 3: I love deeply. I love myself enough to walk away.

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00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:49,520
Speaker 3: And for those wondering, my mom hasn't made any loud

387
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:52,960
Speaker 3: declarations about my decision or the canceled wedding. She's actually

388
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:55,840
Speaker 3: been very quiet and respectful. I think part of her

389
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,760
Speaker 3: is still processing everything, but she's handling it well and

390
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:02,480
Speaker 3: I wasn't expecting that. Small steps but important ones.

391
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:03,760
Speaker 2: So that's where we are.

392
00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:08,240
Speaker 3: The bride is single, the lahengnas were packed, the man

393
00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:11,760
Speaker 3: dap is canceled, and the only spotlight I care about

394
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:15,920
Speaker 3: now is the one I'm standing confidently in on my own.

395
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:17,840
Speaker 3: No wedding, no groom.

396
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,640
Speaker 2: But hey, at least no one will outshine me now,

397
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:24,480
Speaker 2: So true. There you go again, positives upsides right, and

398
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:27,119
Speaker 2: now you know, besides the wedding staff, you've had that

399
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:29,159
Speaker 2: conversation with your mom and you don't have to have

400
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:29,600
Speaker 2: that again.

401
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:34,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, And hopefully this won't be the only day

402
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,639
Speaker 3: that you'll feel in the spotlight, and you'll you know,

403
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:38,760
Speaker 3: be empowered and focused on in.

404
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:42,240
Speaker 2: The future, a helpful conversation for the future. Yeah, in

405
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:43,919
Speaker 2: all of all areas of life.

406
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:47,680
Speaker 3: Absolutely, But that's the end of that story. My siblings

407
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,159
Speaker 3: kept putting me down, but I don't know what I

408
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:54,000
Speaker 3: ever did bring me up. My female twenty sixth birthday

409
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,520
Speaker 3: was last week and I'd organized to see my family

410
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,680
Speaker 3: on the Sunday just gone. It was me, my mom

411
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:03,280
Speaker 3: twenty five female, my oldest sister Sue thirty five female,

412
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:07,080
Speaker 3: other sister Keana female thirty one, my brother Gareth male

413
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:10,400
Speaker 3: thirty and their partners. By the way, this comes from

414
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,000
Speaker 3: a Glittering Desks eighty five seventy five and if you

415
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,600
Speaker 3: want to summit your own stories, go to the hours

416
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:18,360
Speaker 3: lash Okay, storytime supread it and I'm Angie, I'm Sophia

417
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:22,000
Speaker 3: and Op says. As background, My siblings are from my

418
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,680
Speaker 3: mom's first marriage and have a different dad than me.

419
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,840
Speaker 3: Their dad isn't in their lives and they haven't had

420
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,360
Speaker 3: a relationship with him for a long time. My mom

421
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,520
Speaker 3: and dad got divorced when I was around six, but

422
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:34,719
Speaker 3: we're close and have a good relationship growing up.

423
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:35,560
Speaker 2: My mom and dad.

424
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,680
Speaker 3: Split custody fifty to fifty, so I spent half the

425
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,920
Speaker 3: week with him. Over the years, my siblings have told

426
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:41,840
Speaker 3: me that I was spoiled, that I got everything I

427
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,640
Speaker 3: wanted and never got told off because I was the youngest.

428
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,840
Speaker 3: I can't confirm or deny this, since I don't have

429
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,879
Speaker 3: that many memories from my childhood. I have ADHD that

430
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,960
Speaker 3: I didn't realize until adulthood, so that might have something

431
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,600
Speaker 3: to do with it. This attitude that I was a

432
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,480
Speaker 3: spoiled brat has been ongoing for as long as I

433
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:02,640
Speaker 3: can remember. They've always told me that I'm too sensitive

434
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:06,000
Speaker 3: and dramatic. My sister labeled me a bipolar for years

435
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,600
Speaker 3: because my mood could switch quickly and I could get

436
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:12,320
Speaker 3: upset easily. She finally stopped the last year when I

437
00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:14,200
Speaker 3: told her that she can't go around saying that I've

438
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,600
Speaker 3: got a serious mental disorder just because I had mood

439
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,639
Speaker 3: swings as a kid. I don't deny this. I am

440
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,400
Speaker 3: more sensitive than they are, and puberty and ADHD did

441
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,080
Speaker 3: make me have mood swings. I remember being young, maybe

442
00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:27,879
Speaker 3: eleven or twelve, and getting irrationally angry out of nowhere

443
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,800
Speaker 3: and not knowing how to deal with it. Now I

444
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:31,879
Speaker 3: know that ADG can affect you like that, but I

445
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:35,200
Speaker 3: didn't at the time. I don't think I handled being

446
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,880
Speaker 3: the youngest very well. They were all growing up into

447
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:41,479
Speaker 3: teenagers and I was still the annoying little sister. I

448
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:43,840
Speaker 3: admit that I was probably quite annoying to get attention.

449
00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:47,240
Speaker 3: Me and my brother were apparently very close when we

450
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,640
Speaker 3: were young, but gradually we started to get on each

451
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:52,760
Speaker 3: other's nerves. I've been told that I used to intentionally

452
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,439
Speaker 3: try to get him in trouble, though I can't remember this.

453
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,480
Speaker 3: There was one incident when I was about eight and

454
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:00,639
Speaker 3: he would have been around twelve. I don't know what

455
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,760
Speaker 3: I did, but I must have pushed and annoyed him

456
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,760
Speaker 3: really bad, because he screamed in my face. Over the years,

457
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:08,919
Speaker 3: he's completely denied that that ever happened. This brings me

458
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,840
Speaker 3: to what happened on Sunday. There were lots of things

459
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:14,720
Speaker 3: that accumulated, so try to bear that in mind when

460
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:18,320
Speaker 3: things might sound insignificant. Me and my mom arrived at

461
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:20,960
Speaker 3: my brother's house, where everyone was already there. I was

462
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,200
Speaker 3: buying an old phone off of Sue, so she handed

463
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:25,159
Speaker 3: it to me and said that I can take thirty

464
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:28,159
Speaker 3: pounds off the price as my birthday present. I borrowed

465
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,200
Speaker 3: fifty pounds from my brother a couple of weeks ago,

466
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,160
Speaker 3: and he said that I can just not pay him

467
00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:34,919
Speaker 3: that back and consider that my birthday present. Yeah, other

468
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:37,760
Speaker 3: sister didn't give me a gift, but she has kids

469
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 3: in her financial situation isn't great. Nobody bought me a card.

470
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:44,440
Speaker 3: My financial situation has been dire for a few years

471
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,520
Speaker 3: and I haven't been in a position to do birthday

472
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:48,920
Speaker 3: and Christmas gifts. So the lack of effort on cards

473
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 3: and gifts, it wouldn't have bothered me if it wasn't

474
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,160
Speaker 3: in weirder context of the whole day.

475
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,000
Speaker 2: I honestly just wanted.

476
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:56,760
Speaker 3: A nice day with family, but not getting a single

477
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:59,119
Speaker 3: card did sting a little bit. My mom gave me

478
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,560
Speaker 3: a card and a gift. On my actual birthday. I

479
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:03,560
Speaker 3: started setting out my new phone and realized that it

480
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:05,640
Speaker 3: needs an update and I need to be on Wi Fi.

481
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:07,480
Speaker 3: We're all making our way out of the house when

482
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:10,359
Speaker 3: this happens. My brother says, can't you just do it later?

483
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:13,119
Speaker 3: Mom says it's fine, They go ahead and we'll catch

484
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:15,120
Speaker 3: up when the phone is done. I feel like they

485
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,720
Speaker 3: could have waited fifteen minutes, but again not a big

486
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:20,199
Speaker 3: deal on its own. We catch up with them at

487
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,919
Speaker 3: the park slash market and have a browse buy some food.

488
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:26,200
Speaker 3: When we're all sat together, I'm talking to Sue about

489
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 3: how good the battery life on the new phone seems

490
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:30,639
Speaker 3: to be compared to the eight year old iPhone I

491
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:34,080
Speaker 3: was using before. I'm really excited and happy about it,

492
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,879
Speaker 3: until my brother says, all right, op, we've all had

493
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:37,639
Speaker 3: a phone before.

494
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:39,600
Speaker 2: This shuts me up. Immediately.

495
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,720
Speaker 3: I feel really stupid and embarrassed and can feel myself

496
00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 3: going red. It just felt mean. When I was just excited,

497
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 3: Me and Gareth get into a discussion. I can't even

498
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 3: remember how the topic started, but I said that he

499
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,040
Speaker 3: was aggressive as a kid, to which he responded only

500
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:57,199
Speaker 3: once I knew he was referring to the incident that

501
00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:00,040
Speaker 3: I described earlier, and this was the first time I

502
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,959
Speaker 3: ever admitted that it actually happened. We were kids. I

503
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:06,360
Speaker 3: wasn't harmed. I don't hold any grudge about him losing

504
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 3: his temper back then, but I teased him about it

505
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:11,159
Speaker 3: being the first time that he had ever admitted it. Sue,

506
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:12,800
Speaker 3: who was sat in the other end of the group,

507
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:15,920
Speaker 3: not a part of the conversation, says you're lucky. That's

508
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:16,520
Speaker 3: all he did.

509
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 2: You deserved a lot more geese.

510
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:23,240
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, that just felt really toxic to me.

511
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 2: We were kids.

512
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:27,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe I was annoying, but what are you suggesting

513
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 3: I deserved? I snapped back at her, telling her that

514
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 3: she wasn't a part of the conversation, so I don't

515
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:34,240
Speaker 3: know why she's getting involved. I was raising my voice

516
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 3: and swearing, but my mom quickly told me to calm down.

517
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:40,240
Speaker 3: There were families around, so I shut up. Realizing that

518
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:42,920
Speaker 3: I was getting carried away and making myself look bad,

519
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,560
Speaker 3: Mom suggested that it was time to go, so we

520
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 3: got up to leave. My Mom and I wanted to

521
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 3: look at a couple of market stalls that we missed,

522
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 3: so we went to head in that direction when Keana said, so,

523
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:54,960
Speaker 3: you don't want to walk with us? Then, in a

524
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:58,400
Speaker 3: snotty tone, we explained that we just wanted to look

525
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:00,720
Speaker 3: at the market, but they were more than welcome to

526
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,400
Speaker 3: come that way with us. They didn't want to, so

527
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:06,680
Speaker 3: we gave hugs goodbye. I said to Keanna that I

528
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:08,879
Speaker 3: would come over soon to watch How to Train a Dragon,

529
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,399
Speaker 3: because she'd said that she wanted to see it earlier.

530
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 3: Sue pulls a face and says, ew, why would you

531
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:14,919
Speaker 3: want to watch that?

532
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 2: Cause it's a masterpiece. It's an amazing movie. What do

533
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,120
Speaker 2: you have to what do you have against it?

534
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:22,479
Speaker 3: Come on? I know that's not a big deal, but

535
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 3: in the general context of the whole day, it just

536
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:27,159
Speaker 3: felt like she only had negative things to say to me.

537
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,080
Speaker 3: My mom and I immediately tell each other that we're

538
00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:31,400
Speaker 3: really confused about how the whole day had gone, how

539
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 3: it felt like everyone had it out for me when

540
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,240
Speaker 3: it was supposed to be a nice day with family

541
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,919
Speaker 3: to celebrate my birthday. We're genuinely so confused and trying

542
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,840
Speaker 3: to work out if I'd done something wrong. We headed

543
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:45,480
Speaker 3: home and carry on discussing it. At first, I'm genuinely

544
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:48,920
Speaker 3: too shocked and baffled to even have any feelings about it.

545
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 3: It felt like it came out of nowhere. We spent

546
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:54,760
Speaker 3: two weeks together in Cyperusucks last October for Sue's wedding

547
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:57,400
Speaker 3: and got on amazingly with none of these digs.

548
00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,040
Speaker 2: I'd had them a.

549
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:02,040
Speaker 3: Lot growing up, but I really thought that we'd outgrown

550
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:03,919
Speaker 3: it by now. The longer we talk about it, and

551
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:07,040
Speaker 3: I process it. The more I realize I'm upset. I

552
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 3: tell Mom that I want to send a message to

553
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,080
Speaker 3: the group chat to get them together in person and

554
00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 3: talk about what happened and how I felt. Mom isn't

555
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:15,719
Speaker 3: one to hold her tongue, so she sent a message

556
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 3: to say that she was disappointed and embarrassed how today went.

557
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,639
Speaker 3: It was a bit confrontational, which wasn't a great start,

558
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 3: but I understood where she was coming from. I sent

559
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:26,679
Speaker 3: a message saying I'd like to discuss it in person,

560
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 3: and all heck breaks loose. Sue and Keana say that

561
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:34,480
Speaker 3: they've done nothing wrong. We were all joking and laughing.

562
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 2: If I had a problem with it at the.

563
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:39,000
Speaker 3: Time, then I should have told them then and there

564
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:41,600
Speaker 3: and that it shouldn't be brought up late at night.

565
00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 3: I tell them that I didn't bring it up at

566
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 3: the time because I was confused and overwhelmed and needed

567
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:49,440
Speaker 3: to process what happened. I've tried really hard over the

568
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:52,240
Speaker 3: years to be a bit less sensitive and not react

569
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:55,600
Speaker 3: or get upset because I just get called dramatic. They

570
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 3: say that it's all just banter and that we all

571
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 3: talk to each other like that. Keana says she it's

572
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:03,080
Speaker 3: taken the piss out of for being stupid. I responded

573
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,359
Speaker 3: that I don't call her stupid. I've corrected her on

574
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:07,080
Speaker 3: things occasionally, but I don't want to put her down

575
00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:09,920
Speaker 3: about it. I tell them that my idea of banter

576
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 3: doesn't involve picking up people's and securities. And I don't

577
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:15,080
Speaker 3: understand what the punchline was when Sue said that I

578
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 3: deserve a worse reaction for my brother when we were kids. Yeah,

579
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:22,400
Speaker 3: I feel like that's like, like, yeah, what what did

580
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:23,200
Speaker 3: you mean by that?

581
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:24,240
Speaker 2: We're all adults.

582
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,919
Speaker 3: Opa just turned twenty six, yeah, and everyone else is

583
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:30,520
Speaker 3: at least uh like four years older.

584
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:34,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's thirty yeah old who are like, yeah,

585
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:36,440
Speaker 2: we should have beat you up as a kid.

586
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 3: So I'd been like, like, yeah, what, why are you

587
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 3: still upset about things?

588
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:41,480
Speaker 2: Yeah?

589
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 3: Like that, Like, dude, let's talk about it. Kenna says

590
00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 3: something about how I can't expect people to change and

591
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:49,000
Speaker 3: walk on eggshells around.

592
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 2: Me, and I respond that I didn't think it.

593
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:53,880
Speaker 3: Just basic respect and being nice to each other should

594
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,440
Speaker 3: be considered walking on eggshells.

595
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:56,880
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.

596
00:27:57,080 --> 00:28:00,639
Speaker 3: Gareth sees the messages and response. He also tells me

597
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:02,800
Speaker 3: that I'm overreacting, and that I can't expect them to

598
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 3: pander to all my emotions and that they all treat

599
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:07,840
Speaker 3: each other exactly the same way they treat me. Garrett

600
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,080
Speaker 3: says that he gets taken the piss out of because

601
00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:12,679
Speaker 3: Sue and Keana used to put him in dresses as

602
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:15,800
Speaker 3: a kid. I say, that's completely different and can't be

603
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:18,879
Speaker 3: compared to me being called a spoiled brat and bipolar

604
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:21,200
Speaker 3: my whole life. I have a phone call with Gareth

605
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:23,520
Speaker 3: where I tell him exactly how I feel. I tell

606
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,760
Speaker 3: him that I've spent my whole life being told that

607
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 3: I'm too sensitive or too dramatic, that I'm bipolar and spoiled.

608
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,400
Speaker 3: I can't say anything about my feelings being shut down.

609
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:35,200
Speaker 3: I say, I understand that they might have thicker skin

610
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 3: than me, and I'm not trying to tell them how

611
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:38,800
Speaker 3: they can and can't interact with each other. But I

612
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 3: don't find the comments funny and they hurt my feelings.

613
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:45,040
Speaker 3: Garrett says that he treats everyone in his life exactly

614
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 3: the same and he's not going to change just for me,

615
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 3: So if I don't like it, then we don't have

616
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:53,360
Speaker 3: to have a relationship. Oh, Wow, he pulled that card. Eh,

617
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,480
Speaker 3: you don't like or true to everyone that like that's

618
00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 3: such a.

619
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:01,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're not gonna have it anyone in your life

620
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:05,200
Speaker 2: act like that, right cause it's like, I mean, if

621
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 2: someone really was like in any situation like oh, like

622
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:12,640
Speaker 2: this thing that was completely unrelated hurt my feelings when

623
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:14,720
Speaker 2: they weren't actually talking about you or something like that,

624
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:16,840
Speaker 2: or like they were just kind of saying normal things,

625
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 2: I can.

626
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 3: Understand being like Okay, well, like I don't think that

627
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 3: there was a problem with that. I'm not gonna like

628
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 3: like like that would seem like walking on eggshells around me.

629
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 3: Yeah to me, but this is like op, he's literally

630
00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:31,240
Speaker 3: just like hey, maybe.

631
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:33,959
Speaker 2: Nice, yeah, every so often.

632
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:36,160
Speaker 3: Right, you said this directly to me.

633
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:37,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't like it.

634
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:40,080
Speaker 3: And by the way, there are a lot of things

635
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 3: as kids that you've said to me that I just

636
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 3: genuinely don't like. So yeah, maybe let's not keep that going,

637
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 3: you know.

638
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 4: I agree.

639
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 3: Maybe I don't pay enough attention when they're interacting with

640
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 3: each other, but I really don't think they're as harsh

641
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:53,000
Speaker 3: as they are with me.

642
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:54,720
Speaker 2: It feels like there's.

643
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 3: A true resentment there for how I was as a kid,

644
00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:00,200
Speaker 3: and it still doesn't matter how much I've changed, I'm

645
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 3: still the same spoiled brat in their eyes. I try

646
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:05,480
Speaker 3: not to let the comments get to me because if

647
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:08,640
Speaker 3: I argue back when it happens, then I'm too sensitive.

648
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 3: But if I take time to process it and figure

649
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 3: out my feelings, then I'm told that I should have

650
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 3: brought it up when it happened. I feel like I

651
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:17,560
Speaker 3: can't win and there is a little bit more to

652
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:22,880
Speaker 3: the story. But yeah, I feel like it's just exhausting.

653
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like you just have this unfortunate relationship

654
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 2: with your siblings that uh, they don't really want to fix.

655
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:33,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, it seems like it. And like I don't really

656
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 3: know exactly how things are being brought up. I would

657
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:39,240
Speaker 3: kind of think like, Okay, maybe we don't need to

658
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:42,800
Speaker 3: bring up all the specifics from chorts because that can

659
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,720
Speaker 3: get a little like nitpicky and a little like, oh, well,

660
00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 3: if you're saying I did this tiny thing, then you

661
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:49,920
Speaker 3: did this tiny thing.

662
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:52,480
Speaker 2: So I'm not bringing up the stuff from when you're kids.

663
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:56,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, just for everyone, right, focus on how it feels

664
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:59,240
Speaker 3: now and how you want your relationship to be different now.

665
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, focus on how they are acting towards you, right, yeah, exactly,

666
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 2: and point out those problems so that might help.

667
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, there is a little bit more to

668
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:11,880
Speaker 3: the story. I had a toxic relationship break down eighteen

669
00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 3: months ago.

670
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:13,640
Speaker 2: He cheated on me.

671
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:17,400
Speaker 3: Five times over six years and was really emotionally manipulated.

672
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:21,000
Speaker 3: I lost myself in this relationship. I gained five stone,

673
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 3: stopped looking after myself, isolated myself, and none of them

674
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:26,440
Speaker 3: noticed or thought to pull me aside to check if

675
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:29,520
Speaker 3: I was okay. The relationship ended and they found out

676
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 3: what it had been like Kean. I was supportive. We

677
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:34,320
Speaker 3: had a lot of phone calls, and I stayed at

678
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 3: her house a few times when I needed company. But

679
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 3: the only thing Sue said was I don't know why

680
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:41,880
Speaker 3: you stayed with him for so long. And Gareth didn't

681
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 3: even send me a text message. He didn't acknowledge it

682
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:46,640
Speaker 3: at all. Am I wrong for feeling like they don't

683
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:49,240
Speaker 3: care about me. It feels like they've just tolerated me

684
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 3: my whole life. They haven't tried to see my side

685
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:55,400
Speaker 3: at all. I feel like they were immediately defensive and

686
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,800
Speaker 3: just wanted to shut down how I felt. Did I overreact?

687
00:31:59,000 --> 00:31:59,200
Speaker 2: Am?

688
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,880
Speaker 3: I too sensitive. Should I have handled things differently? At

689
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 3: this point, it looks like me and my siblings won't

690
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 3: have a relationship going forward, and that's the end of

691
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 3: that story.

692
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 2: I think you just need to put in the same

693
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:15,479
Speaker 2: effort that you see them putting in. Yeah, and that'll,

694
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:17,480
Speaker 2: you know, make your life a little bit easier. It's

695
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:19,640
Speaker 2: saying with like, friends that you don't see putting a

696
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,600
Speaker 2: lot of effort in, just put in the same amount

697
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 2: of effort, right, Yeah, I mean, folks.

698
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 3: On the people that do care about you exactly. If

699
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:28,360
Speaker 3: they are like saying these things about that relationship and

700
00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 3: like not caring, then yeah, maybe they maybe that means

701
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:34,720
Speaker 3: that they don't.

702
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:35,080
Speaker 2: Care about you.

703
00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that absolutely sucks because they're your family. Yeah,

704
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:43,960
Speaker 3: but yeah, try to focus on the people who have

705
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:46,400
Speaker 3: shown you some comfort.

706
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:49,560
Speaker 2: Maybe, you know, there might.

707
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 3: Be a little bit of a better way to bring

708
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 3: up some things, like if if you snapped and said, like,

709
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 3: you know, oh, like I don't know why you're getting

710
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:00,520
Speaker 3: involved honestly, like it's kind it's pretty nd standibal why

711
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:04,240
Speaker 3: you would say that, But I don't know if you

712
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:08,200
Speaker 3: really wanted to try to keep the relationship, maybe you

713
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 3: can try those things, but at the same time, like,

714
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:12,920
Speaker 3: you don't really need to You don't need to cater

715
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 3: to their feelings either. Nope, you know so nope, nope. Yeah,

716
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:21,240
Speaker 3: it's very disappointing. It might be true. You can still

717
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:24,600
Speaker 3: try to have another honest conversation with them, but if

718
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:26,600
Speaker 3: they don't respond, well, then that's kind of your answer.

719
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 4: That's it.

720
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,719
Speaker 3: That's how you can do exactly. But that's the end

721
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 3: of that story.

722
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 1: Hey, it's sam' your og host.

723
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:32,200
Speaker 4: Here.

724
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:33,800
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three

725
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:35,360
Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

726
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:39,000
Speaker 2: My husband cheated on me, so I cheated on him too.

727
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:42,960
Speaker 2: I for an eye trigger warning emotional abuse. About eight

728
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 2: months ago, I, thirty six female, found out my husband,

729
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:48,560
Speaker 2: thirty three male, was cheating on me.

730
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 4: Oh how'd you find out?

731
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:55,120
Speaker 2: He's a musician and very handsome, so of course in

732
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:57,800
Speaker 2: bar gigs, the women like him. We have a six

733
00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 2: year old daughter. Oh dude, so oh many nights I

734
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,719
Speaker 2: can't go watch him play. I had my suspicions as

735
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:06,440
Speaker 2: he started coming home much later than normal or coming

736
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:08,600
Speaker 2: back the next day if he drank too much, but

737
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:12,319
Speaker 2: my suspicions weren't confirmed until a woman came pounding on

738
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 2: my door. One of the women he was cheating with.

739
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:17,600
Speaker 2: There were three women turned out to be a stoker.

740
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:21,959
Speaker 2: Good for your case, Yeah, at least you can find

741
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:24,520
Speaker 2: out from that. By the way, this comes from Sad

742
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 2: Independence seventy three thirty two, and if you want to

743
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:29,000
Speaker 2: smit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay, storytime,

744
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:29,440
Speaker 2: separate it.

745
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:32,800
Speaker 4: I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, I'm Dakota.

746
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:36,239
Speaker 2: And Ope says she slashed his tires and he now

747
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:39,080
Speaker 2: has a restraining order. If he was from the US,

748
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 2: like me and a citizen, I would have divorced him already.

749
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,720
Speaker 2: But I don't want my daughter not having a father.

750
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:46,600
Speaker 2: She loves him very much, and aside from cheating on

751
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,840
Speaker 2: and disrespecting her mother, he treats our daughter like she's

752
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:52,439
Speaker 2: his world. I want him out, but without me, he's

753
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:54,799
Speaker 2: likely going to be thrown out of the country. In

754
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:57,400
Speaker 2: the beginning, I wanted to fix this. He is trying

755
00:34:57,440 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 2: to be better, showering me with affection, being very apologetic.

756
00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:03,760
Speaker 2: He even stopped playing live shows and took a musical

757
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 2: engineer's job to get away from the life a little.

758
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:09,080
Speaker 2: But it all became too much for me, and I

759
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:12,520
Speaker 2: couldn't forget or forgive what happened. For four months, I

760
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,680
Speaker 2: didn't tell a soul about what he did. I didn't

761
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:16,359
Speaker 2: want to look like a fool and didn't want our

762
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:18,799
Speaker 2: family living in the shadow of this forever, so I

763
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,560
Speaker 2: kept it between us. Needing to talk, I contacted an

764
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 2: old friend of mine who I only knew from the

765
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 2: internet and didn't know anyone in my circle. We've been

766
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 2: friends for a decade and met as a part of

767
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:31,160
Speaker 2: a creative online community. The connection I have with this

768
00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:34,120
Speaker 2: man were like soulmates, and I could talk to them

769
00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:37,080
Speaker 2: all day, every day, but it was never romantic. I

770
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:39,840
Speaker 2: knew he was divorced and wanted to both vent and

771
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 2: ask his advice on how to proceeed with mine or

772
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:44,000
Speaker 2: what he would do in my shoes.

773
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:46,040
Speaker 4: Sounds more like a crush. I don't know if you

774
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 4: guys are actually soulmates.

775
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:50,160
Speaker 2: Yeah. He was my shoulder to cry on and was

776
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 2: very supportive of me and recommended things like marriage counseling

777
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:54,480
Speaker 2: or talking to my family.

778
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:55,280
Speaker 4: Oh nice.

779
00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:58,360
Speaker 2: He was under the impression that I wanted to remain married,

780
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 2: so he spent about a month or so trying to

781
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:02,840
Speaker 2: help me fix my marriage. I never told my husband

782
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 2: any of this. After a couple of months, I am

783
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:08,240
Speaker 2: my friend, thirty seven male. We're talking on a daily basis,

784
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:11,120
Speaker 2: and I found myself in constant contact with him. Out

785
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 2: to dinner with my family. I'm still texting him. Still

786
00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:16,959
Speaker 2: nothing spicy or romantic. My husband's still trying to fix things,

787
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 2: but at this point, it just feels like he's some

788
00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:21,759
Speaker 2: stranger who lives in my house. I'm the breadwinner. I

789
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:26,279
Speaker 2: started having feelings for my friend. Uh oh. Then one

790
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:28,520
Speaker 2: day my friend mentioned he'll be near my town to

791
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:30,920
Speaker 2: see family and offer to take my family out to dinner.

792
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:33,239
Speaker 4: I think you guys could just go to dinner, but

793
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:34,400
Speaker 4: I'm also kind of against that.

794
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:37,680
Speaker 2: So yeah, he's like, Oh, my daughter's she's at her friend's. Ah,

795
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:41,480
Speaker 2: my husband, he's gone. I guess it's just us the

796
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:42,200
Speaker 2: intended say.

797
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 4: Oh no, the power's out. We just got candles everywhere.

798
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:48,120
Speaker 2: Oh oh no, the window was open. All those rose

799
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:50,840
Speaker 2: petals just blew in onto the bed.

800
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 4: WHOA, why is there just like a trail going to

801
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 4: my bedroom? We should follow it? Oh no, this woman

802
00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:58,240
Speaker 4: broke into our house.

803
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:02,600
Speaker 2: She's playing the violin. He intended to take me, my daughter,

804
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:04,840
Speaker 2: and my husband out And that's when I told my

805
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:07,880
Speaker 2: first lie, I didn't want my husband around because I

806
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:10,600
Speaker 2: don't ever really want him around, but just smile pretty

807
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:12,560
Speaker 2: and act like I'm okay. For my daughter's sake, I

808
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:14,919
Speaker 2: told my friend my husband took my daughter somewhere else

809
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 2: that evening, and that I would meet him for dinner myself.

810
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:21,280
Speaker 2: Everything escalated so quickly. In the span of forty five minutes,

811
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 2: we went from entirely platonic friends who never so much

812
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:27,480
Speaker 2: has flirted with each other to us having spicy sleep

813
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 2: for a while. I then ugly cried in his arms.

814
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:34,480
Speaker 4: That is wild. I've never heard of that before. Yeah,

815
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:35,600
Speaker 4: have you heard of that one before?

816
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:39,320
Speaker 2: No. For another hours, it felt like everything that happened

817
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:42,120
Speaker 2: kind of crashed onto me all at once. Not to

818
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:44,359
Speaker 2: mention the guilt for what I did, because I did

819
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:46,240
Speaker 2: not want to be the sort of person who cheats

820
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 2: like this. I love my friend. I have stronger feelings

821
00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:51,000
Speaker 2: for him that I have had for any other man

822
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:53,320
Speaker 2: in my life. I know I need to end my marriage.

823
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 2: It'll only get more toxic from here if things continue.

824
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 2: But my God, is this a mess? How do I

825
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:01,480
Speaker 2: even start getting out? Of this and there are some

826
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:02,760
Speaker 2: comments and an update.

827
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:06,759
Speaker 4: Yeah, what does OP do? Step number one? Find a

828
00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:08,080
Speaker 4: divorce lawyer.

829
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:12,400
Speaker 2: I don't know. If you really don't want to divorce

830
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:14,719
Speaker 2: him because you want him to have a relationship with

831
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 2: your daughter, then just talk to him and be like, hey,

832
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 2: I don't want to divorce you because I want you

833
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,759
Speaker 2: to be able to stay here. But effectively we are separated. Yep,

834
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,759
Speaker 2: we are not together. I'm going to pursue other relationships.

835
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:28,000
Speaker 2: You can pursue other relationships, but we're not together. That's

836
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 2: what you should have done and that's what you can

837
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 2: still do. Yeah, I think those are your options. It's

838
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:35,719
Speaker 2: either divorce or separation. Gonment one, Your friend doesn't love you.

839
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:38,719
Speaker 2: He got what he wanted. You came to him emotionally hurt,

840
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:40,920
Speaker 2: and he knew what to say to Still pretend to

841
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:42,960
Speaker 2: be a friend, but get in your pants. You did

842
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 2: the same thing your husband did. Do yourself a favor

843
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:48,920
Speaker 2: and get divorced. Drop the affair partner, friend, and take

844
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 2: care of your mental needs. Your husband cheating on you

845
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:52,920
Speaker 2: is bad, but do you really think of having a

846
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:55,600
Speaker 2: friend who will f a married woman is better? Don't

847
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:58,640
Speaker 2: delude yourself. Ohp he says he wouldn't have fed me

848
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:01,240
Speaker 2: if I hadn't thrown myself. I am in the wrong,

849
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:04,120
Speaker 2: he to a lesser extent, but he didn't manipulate me.

850
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 2: When we met in person, I wanted him when I

851
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:08,759
Speaker 2: saw he kept the conversation upbeat, and we chatted about

852
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:11,080
Speaker 2: our kids. Not once did he flirt with me that

853
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:13,440
Speaker 2: night or any other night. When we left the place,

854
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:15,879
Speaker 2: I grabbed his hand, and when we got to the car,

855
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,279
Speaker 2: I started other stuff. I asked him if he wanted

856
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:20,680
Speaker 2: to get to a place, and only then did he

857
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:22,640
Speaker 2: go along with what I wanted. A lot of people

858
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 2: are acting like he preyed on me. If anything, it

859
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:27,280
Speaker 2: was the other way around, And for that I feel guilty.

860
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:32,360
Speaker 2: I love him and I think he loves me. Oh no, girl,

861
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:35,399
Speaker 2: let's go down, girl, let's go down.

862
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:38,600
Speaker 4: Okay, you met him once. I had once some questions

863
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,120
Speaker 4: after the deed was done, did you guys cuddle?

864
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:45,000
Speaker 2: Yeah? Good questions? I mean even then, snow guarantee.

865
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:47,640
Speaker 4: After the deed was done, did he get you dessert

866
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:52,040
Speaker 4: or any other like complimentary snacks? Could he get you water?

867
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:53,120
Speaker 3: Go?

868
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 4: Get you water hydrated? After you went brain.

869
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 2: Comment too, he's a piece of crap for cheating. Why

870
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:02,400
Speaker 2: are you stooping to his level? His cheating doesn't even

871
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 2: out or justify your own behavior. Now you're both grab people.

872
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:05,799
Speaker 4: Yup.

873
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 2: Comment three says, your husband is a big boy, He

874
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 2: can figure it out. Why stay and be unhappy. You

875
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:13,640
Speaker 2: also need to be honest and tell your friend everything

876
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:16,040
Speaker 2: and get out of your marriage. Your husband had multiple

877
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:18,840
Speaker 2: women from experience, that won't change in the long run.

878
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:22,080
Speaker 2: Eventually the trying will stop and he'll go back, So

879
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:25,799
Speaker 2: be happy. Cheating is never okay, so be honest. Opie says,

880
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:28,000
Speaker 2: my friend knows everything now. He was the one I

881
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:29,839
Speaker 2: leaned on for all of this when I couldn't take

882
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:32,640
Speaker 2: it anymore. He was even scouting marriage counselors in my

883
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 2: area and was actively talking about me getting therapy, as

884
00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:38,319
Speaker 2: that is how he got through his divorce. When we

885
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:40,680
Speaker 2: met for dinner, it was supposed to be his friends.

886
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:43,640
Speaker 2: He'd invited my husband too and daughter. The way he

887
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,480
Speaker 2: was talking, he wanted to be something like a family friend.

888
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 2: He's just such a handsome and good man. I felt

889
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,279
Speaker 2: safe with him. He'd have never done any of this

890
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:54,840
Speaker 2: if I didn't get him started up. I'm also aware

891
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:57,680
Speaker 2: my husband will cheat again more and more. I think

892
00:40:57,680 --> 00:41:02,360
Speaker 2: he only married me to become legal. I'm not nearly

893
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:05,399
Speaker 2: as attractive as his mistresses, which depresses me even more.

894
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:10,760
Speaker 2: Ou out ouch And there is an update? Yeah, divorce, divorce, separate.

895
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:13,000
Speaker 2: I don't know you need this somehow.

896
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:16,879
Speaker 4: It kind of sucks because you got used by your ex. Yeah,

897
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:19,800
Speaker 4: he used you so he could stay in the country

898
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:21,600
Speaker 4: and that was his only way. He didn't really have

899
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:24,279
Speaker 4: any love for you. You gotta separate, You.

900
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:27,600
Speaker 2: Gotta at the very least, you have to separate like

901
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:30,600
Speaker 2: Pronto a sap Sophira.

902
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:34,560
Speaker 4: Yes, if you saw someone in a band, Yeah, what

903
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:37,399
Speaker 4: are you more like I'm going to take the singer home.

904
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:39,640
Speaker 4: I'm going to take the guitarist home. Who who you're

905
00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:44,920
Speaker 4: taking home? What about the drummer? That that you can't

906
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:47,440
Speaker 4: have a band without a drummer? You can't. I know,

907
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:50,319
Speaker 4: I was I was wanting her to say that, and

908
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:51,040
Speaker 4: I said.

909
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:55,120
Speaker 2: The drummer taking the drummer. Update. So the spookiest part

910
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:58,000
Speaker 2: of my Halloween was being awkwardly confronted by my husband

911
00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:00,439
Speaker 2: after my daughter went to sleep. He asked me about

912
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 2: my affair partner and how long I'd been talking to him.

913
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:05,719
Speaker 2: He didn't ask in a forceful way, but sort of

914
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:08,239
Speaker 2: an awkward, please be truthful kind of way. I told

915
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:10,560
Speaker 2: him that I contacted him because he was an old

916
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:13,799
Speaker 2: friend and I needed someone outside a regular circle of

917
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:17,320
Speaker 2: family and friends to discuss his infidelity so a rumor

918
00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:19,920
Speaker 2: mill wouldn't get going. In fairness, that part was one

919
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,480
Speaker 2: hundred percent true. He was slowly working his way up

920
00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:24,960
Speaker 2: to an accusation, so I just flat out told him

921
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:29,440
Speaker 2: that I slept with my affair partner. Oh yah. He

922
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:31,799
Speaker 2: asked me if I loved a fair partner, and I

923
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:34,720
Speaker 2: told him I did. He asked me if I still

924
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:37,399
Speaker 2: loved him at all. I broke down crying and told

925
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:39,880
Speaker 2: him that I can't anymore. That he was the perfect

926
00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:42,239
Speaker 2: man for me, but after what he did to us,

927
00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 2: I just can't look at him the same way again.

928
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 2: That I thought his judgment was better than what it is.

929
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:49,000
Speaker 2: I did then apologize for what I did and said

930
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 2: my own judgment has been compromised. He said that he

931
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:53,880
Speaker 2: still loves me, and he's back to saying that he

932
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,240
Speaker 2: just got caught up in the moment with these women,

933
00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:59,560
Speaker 2: which is ridiculous because it went on for months. He

934
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:01,879
Speaker 2: then got angry and said if I had to get

935
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:04,719
Speaker 2: revenge and sleep with more men even the score than

936
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:07,040
Speaker 2: I could, but that it had to stop and that

937
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:09,920
Speaker 2: we needed to seek therapy together. Oh wow, I told

938
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:12,239
Speaker 2: him I would rather be divorced or at least separated

939
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:15,239
Speaker 2: until his immigration status is settled, and then divorce, which

940
00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:18,040
Speaker 2: looks like what's gonna happen? You have any final thoughts.

941
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:22,360
Speaker 4: When you're the cheater fighting an uphill battle with these demands,

942
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:23,360
Speaker 4: it's kind of crazy.

943
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:25,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't just be like, we need to go

944
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:28,600
Speaker 2: to therapy. It's like, no, we're done, dude, We're done. Ope.

945
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:31,400
Speaker 2: I feel like understands that she did something wrong and

946
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:34,000
Speaker 2: she's like yeah, and that's why we need to leave

947
00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:35,760
Speaker 2: each other because this isn't working.

948
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,200
Speaker 4: This guy's gonna fill these emotions. He's gonna be hurt

949
00:43:38,239 --> 00:43:40,640
Speaker 4: even though he did the wrong thing. Yeah, he still

950
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:43,480
Speaker 4: looks at you as if you are in a monogamous

951
00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:45,640
Speaker 4: relationship and this is just what's happening on the side.

952
00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:47,640
Speaker 2: So he's gonna happen. So Peace said that they would

953
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:50,440
Speaker 2: work through it, but but you couldn't. You can't, So

954
00:43:50,719 --> 00:43:51,520
Speaker 2: don't try anymore.

955
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 4: Even if she said that they wouldn't work through it.

956
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:56,280
Speaker 4: He's still gonna fill those feelings and never believe.

957
00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:58,440
Speaker 2: But there's a little bit left. So he's now staying

958
00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 2: in the basement guest room. I'm in my normal bedroom,

959
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,920
Speaker 2: and the separation has begun. I'm going to help him

960
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:06,960
Speaker 2: with his immigration status, as despite my anger, I'd rather

961
00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:09,279
Speaker 2: not think about my friend of all these years living

962
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:12,040
Speaker 2: in the conditions he used to, or worse my daughter

963
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 2: visiting there and getting kidnapped or something. So I will

964
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:17,319
Speaker 2: do him this final favor and we will go our

965
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:20,600
Speaker 2: separate ways. I contacted my affair partner to tell him

966
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:22,600
Speaker 2: that he and I ought to slow things down for

967
00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:25,640
Speaker 2: the foreseeable future until all of this can be ironed out.

968
00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:27,360
Speaker 2: But he was only going to be in town for

969
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:29,239
Speaker 2: a couple more days. So we went out and I

970
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:32,879
Speaker 2: let him do his thing. Anyway. That's about it, dude,

971
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 2: That's just I let him do his thing.

972
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:38,440
Speaker 4: We ought to slow things down.

973
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:42,600
Speaker 2: Well, to slow things down, I let him do his thing. Drumming,

974
00:44:42,719 --> 00:44:43,200
Speaker 2: that's his thing.

975
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:46,680
Speaker 4: WHOA, I wasn't gonna say that about him. Things may

976
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:51,080
Speaker 4: go brain, but drumming, I didn't even know. Is that

977
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:55,799
Speaker 4: what kids call these days? Drumb and dumb. Dumb. I

978
00:44:55,840 --> 00:45:00,080
Speaker 4: think my husband's friendship with his coworker is an emotional.

979
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:02,080
Speaker 2: Affair, then you should put a stop to it.

980
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:04,440
Speaker 4: My husband and I have been married for two years,

981
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:07,120
Speaker 4: known each other for four. We have an eleven month

982
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:09,880
Speaker 4: old daughter. Our relationship is great. We've been loving our

983
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:12,680
Speaker 4: experience as parents. There's just been an issue that I

984
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:15,560
Speaker 4: thought I had resolved, but my husband's behavior is making

985
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:18,319
Speaker 4: me think I went about it in an a holdish way.

986
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:21,400
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Acceptable Crabs sixty forty

987
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:22,960
Speaker 4: and if you would to submit your own stories, go

988
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:25,440
Speaker 4: to the r slash Okay story Time Separated at I'm Riley,

989
00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 4: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota and OPI says around December of

990
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:32,839
Speaker 4: last year, he had referred a woman he knew from

991
00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:35,560
Speaker 4: his college days. I asked him back then if they'd

992
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:38,320
Speaker 4: been close friends. He had said they were kind of friends,

993
00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:40,920
Speaker 4: but not close enough to make plans to hang out together,

994
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,440
Speaker 4: but close enough that they'd hang out together if they

995
00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:47,280
Speaker 4: saw each other. I was like, totally fine with that obviously. Anyway,

996
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:50,560
Speaker 4: she got a job and works in his office, fortunately

997
00:45:50,719 --> 00:45:53,680
Speaker 4: in a different team. Why is that, Opie? Mmmmm. Their

998
00:45:53,719 --> 00:45:57,000
Speaker 4: friendship seemed to have been blossoming again, which is fine,

999
00:45:57,160 --> 00:45:59,720
Speaker 4: although it had been intruding into his time at home.

1000
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:03,040
Speaker 4: Often he'd get texts and a smile and respond and

1001
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:05,960
Speaker 4: it would be from her. Well, I'd casually ask what

1002
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:09,120
Speaker 4: she said and it wouldn't be anything scandalous. Sometimes a

1003
00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:11,280
Speaker 4: shared reference from their college life.

1004
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:14,360
Speaker 2: Remember those times when he was sleeping together in college?

1005
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:19,000
Speaker 4: Those were the days I missed those days. Only we

1006
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:22,319
Speaker 4: could go back, and he's like, hah. He took me

1007
00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:24,800
Speaker 4: to a restaurant near his office once as a special

1008
00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:28,160
Speaker 4: night out. In midway through, I learned he'd been here

1009
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:28,880
Speaker 4: before with her.

1010
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:32,280
Speaker 2: Oh, you're just taking me to the spots you've taken

1011
00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:32,640
Speaker 2: her to.

1012
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:36,320
Speaker 4: That's wild. We were about to argue, but he'd said

1013
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:39,160
Speaker 4: it was just lunch, and I also didn't want to

1014
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:41,719
Speaker 4: ruin our night out. But that's when I really started

1015
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:44,239
Speaker 4: sighing it. And then finally, when I was going through

1016
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:46,680
Speaker 4: his phone for a number that he keeps in his contacts,

1017
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:48,840
Speaker 4: she responded to him and I just clicked on the

1018
00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:52,120
Speaker 4: notification and read some messages. She was complaining about the

1019
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:54,839
Speaker 4: lack of luck on Tinder and was going off about

1020
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:57,200
Speaker 4: the kind of guy she was looking for, and now

1021
00:46:57,320 --> 00:46:59,760
Speaker 4: I don't really fully think she was making a pass.

1022
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:02,080
Speaker 4: Some things just hit too close to home for me.

1023
00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:03,879
Speaker 4: I told him about what I read. He didn't mind

1024
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:05,960
Speaker 4: the reading. We both are very open with our phones

1025
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:08,440
Speaker 4: to each other. He was just like, what's the issue.

1026
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:11,439
Speaker 4: I said, the kind of conversations and the frequency which

1027
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 4: they were happening. Since they knew each other at work,

1028
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 4: went for lunch together, then had these kind of texts

1029
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:20,560
Speaker 4: at home. It had become an emotional affair and he

1030
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:23,600
Speaker 4: needed to cut her off. He looked like I'd slapped him,

1031
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:26,400
Speaker 4: he argued back, really stressing the affair part that I

1032
00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:28,800
Speaker 4: had said. I show him how stressed this was making me,

1033
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 4: and I needed all this communication outside of work to

1034
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:33,800
Speaker 4: be stopped, and later said, at least it has to

1035
00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:36,400
Speaker 4: be torn down significantly. He did agree to it, but

1036
00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:38,719
Speaker 4: made it clear how wrong I was calling it an

1037
00:47:38,719 --> 00:47:39,680
Speaker 4: emotional affair.

1038
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:43,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like that's like a big accusation to.

1039
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 4: Make I feel good about this, because usually when people still, yeah,

1040
00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:49,919
Speaker 4: if you cuse someone of stealing, they're gonna cuss you out, yeah,

1041
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:51,799
Speaker 4: call you all the names. But if you cuse someone

1042
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:53,360
Speaker 4: of stealing, and they did they'll be like, what I

1043
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:55,799
Speaker 4: didn't Still, I didn't do that. Yeah, this that he

1044
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:57,840
Speaker 4: takes the emotional affair part so seriously, and I.

1045
00:47:57,840 --> 00:48:01,000
Speaker 2: Feel he's like, I will, I won't do that, but

1046
00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:03,520
Speaker 2: I want to be really clear what it was? Not

1047
00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:06,280
Speaker 2: an emotional affairs? That felt like that was the answer

1048
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:07,000
Speaker 2: that he was giving.

1049
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:10,120
Speaker 4: So this happened on Thursday. He's been pretty cold since, Like,

1050
00:48:10,239 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 4: I don't think I've ever seen him act like this before.

1051
00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:15,200
Speaker 4: Yesterday I was just cuddling with him and he wasn't

1052
00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:17,480
Speaker 4: being soft like he normally is when we cuddle, and

1053
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:19,319
Speaker 4: he told me he couldn't believe I called it an

1054
00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:22,399
Speaker 4: emotional affair and that he ended it. But he's hurt,

1055
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:24,720
Speaker 4: not only for him to be accused of an affair,

1056
00:48:24,840 --> 00:48:27,759
Speaker 4: but her too, who must think we're crazy. I was

1057
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:29,960
Speaker 4: hurt and are not kind of ended like that? Have

1058
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:30,799
Speaker 4: I been the A hole?

1059
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:31,040
Speaker 2: Here?

1060
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:34,640
Speaker 4: Have I been? And am I the reason our relationship

1061
00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:37,560
Speaker 4: has taken a hit? I'll fix it? Need a judgment

1062
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:38,560
Speaker 4: and we have some comments.

1063
00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 2: I honestly think you are a little bit the ahole.

1064
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 4: I think you're the a hole, but you got to

1065
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 4: stand on business.

1066
00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:44,799
Speaker 2: What?

1067
00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:49,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, they could be friends. Yeah, but like call him out,

1068
00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:52,160
Speaker 4: like I don't really like you talking to this girl

1069
00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:55,279
Speaker 4: makes me feel uncomfortable. But I'm still your wife, and

1070
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:59,120
Speaker 4: I'm still this hot piecing and you need to jump

1071
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:02,839
Speaker 4: on this right now where it ough. That's what I'd

1072
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:05,399
Speaker 4: be doing, so coming. Number one seems like his only

1073
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:09,040
Speaker 4: issue is that you've labeled their relationship as an emotional affair.

1074
00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:10,880
Speaker 4: Maybe if you had just explained it to him that

1075
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:13,359
Speaker 4: the frequency and depth of their conversations made you feel

1076
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:15,880
Speaker 4: insecure and that you'd like him to put some boundaries

1077
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:19,360
Speaker 4: in place, he'd have taken it better. Yeah, he was

1078
00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:22,480
Speaker 4: open with you and was fine with your curiosity getting

1079
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:24,920
Speaker 4: the better of you and reading the messages. I personally

1080
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,719
Speaker 4: think that unless he's turning to her for his own

1081
00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:31,120
Speaker 4: deep emotional support instead of you, he's done nothing wrong.

1082
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:33,080
Speaker 4: I agree he should prefer to come to you with

1083
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:36,719
Speaker 4: his issues, or at least you first than others. If

1084
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:39,040
Speaker 4: she isn't married herself, and I believe it's okay with

1085
00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:41,799
Speaker 4: her coming to him with her issues. She may not

1086
00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:45,040
Speaker 4: have anyone else, and that's what friends are for. Anecdote

1087
00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 4: Here at my last workplace, there there was this woman

1088
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:50,359
Speaker 4: at my age who I got on well with and

1089
00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:53,080
Speaker 4: after some time we both talked to each other about

1090
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:55,920
Speaker 4: our issues. I was single, her relationship was fragile at

1091
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:57,839
Speaker 4: the time. She came to me for support around her

1092
00:49:57,840 --> 00:50:01,080
Speaker 4: fragile relationship, and I gave her support for Now that

1093
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 4: relationship is healed, they're married and we are close friends.

1094
00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:07,240
Speaker 4: After my girlfriend amma best mate. She's the next person

1095
00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:10,759
Speaker 4: I talk to the most. She is attracted the same gender. Now,

1096
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:13,840
Speaker 4: if those three words just change your mind of my antidote,

1097
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:17,080
Speaker 4: then that highlights the issues that you have in security.

1098
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:20,360
Speaker 4: If his workmate were a man sappig or look like

1099
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:22,359
Speaker 4: the grumpy secretary out of Monster Sinc.

1100
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:28,480
Speaker 2: Which was mine watching you wi Awski mi gwsowski.

1101
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:29,719
Speaker 4: Would you've still been of interested?

1102
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:30,280
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1103
00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:32,439
Speaker 4: Would it still been an issue? Maybe? I mean hear

1104
00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:34,000
Speaker 4: me out, she's sick.

1105
00:50:35,239 --> 00:50:36,839
Speaker 2: I don't want to hear you guys out. I don't

1106
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:38,480
Speaker 2: want to hear you guys out. I was gonna say.

1107
00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:40,120
Speaker 2: I think that's an excellent point, and I think it

1108
00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:43,520
Speaker 2: just highlights the idea that man a woman can't be friends,

1109
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:44,320
Speaker 2: which is untrue.

1110
00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:46,200
Speaker 4: I think in the future you should work on an

1111
00:50:46,239 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 4: insecurity with your husband first. Then if it's still an

1112
00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:51,600
Speaker 4: issue for you. That's when your husband needs to be

1113
00:50:51,719 --> 00:50:54,200
Speaker 4: husband and put you first, even if he hasn't done

1114
00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:56,760
Speaker 4: anything wrong. We have an update, so I can't blame

1115
00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:59,120
Speaker 4: her for how she went about this. Well, okay, I

1116
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:01,760
Speaker 4: can blame her. Can blame her, Yeah, but the damage

1117
00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:03,719
Speaker 4: was already done. It's where do we go now?

1118
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:07,000
Speaker 2: I think it's just have a commerce sit down, say

1119
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:10,840
Speaker 2: I'm sorry for accusing you with literally no proof. Shouldn't

1120
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:13,279
Speaker 2: have done that. I was dealing with my own insecurities

1121
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:16,600
Speaker 2: about this relationship. I realized that you made a sacrifice

1122
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:18,759
Speaker 2: and ended that friendship. I would like to work on,

1123
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:22,000
Speaker 2: like why I'm having these feelings? You know how we

1124
00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:25,479
Speaker 2: approach friendships and stuff in the future and have that whole,

1125
00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:27,000
Speaker 2: honest conversation.

1126
00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:30,480
Speaker 4: And tell him that you love him. Yeah, very much. Update.

1127
00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:33,839
Speaker 4: Thanks for the feedback, even maybe especially those who said

1128
00:51:33,880 --> 00:51:35,520
Speaker 4: I was in the wrong. Last night when we were

1129
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:39,319
Speaker 4: watching TV, his responses to me were still standoffish, which

1130
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:42,360
Speaker 4: honestly was messing with me even more than the actual

1131
00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:44,920
Speaker 4: text and lunches. So I brought it up to him.

1132
00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 4: I asked him if he was angry at me still

1133
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:48,840
Speaker 4: due to our conversation a week ago. He said no,

1134
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:51,520
Speaker 4: it's fine, but I still apologized to him. I said,

1135
00:51:51,760 --> 00:51:54,520
Speaker 4: using the phrase emotional affair was too much. I said

1136
00:51:54,560 --> 00:51:57,600
Speaker 4: it without realizing what it truly meant. That I couldn't

1137
00:51:57,640 --> 00:52:00,920
Speaker 4: ever imagine him being unfaithful and hurting me and our

1138
00:52:01,040 --> 00:52:03,959
Speaker 4: daughter that way. And I didn't say this to him,

1139
00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 4: But I'm not trying to make excuses now that we

1140
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 4: have our daughter. I think I just thought whatever he

1141
00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:13,600
Speaker 4: had with his workplace friend had the potential of messing

1142
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:16,200
Speaker 4: with the life and family that we have now, so

1143
00:52:16,719 --> 00:52:18,520
Speaker 4: I might have said more than I should have. We

1144
00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:21,280
Speaker 4: made up in the moment with kisses and watching TV's

1145
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:24,080
Speaker 4: kiss Okay, So.

1146
00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:24,799
Speaker 2: That was like, yeah, it seems good.

1147
00:52:25,040 --> 00:52:27,120
Speaker 4: Seemed like a one way conversation, though I.

1148
00:52:27,040 --> 00:52:29,160
Speaker 2: Think that they could definitely keep talking about it. Seemed

1149
00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:31,120
Speaker 2: a little bit short, but it seems like it's a start.

1150
00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:34,040
Speaker 2: I do want to like commend them for having a

1151
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:35,800
Speaker 2: little bit of a conversation.

1152
00:52:35,480 --> 00:52:36,640
Speaker 4: But Bro needs to speak up.

1153
00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:39,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, because like the fact that he said, like, oh no,

1154
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:41,359
Speaker 2: I'm not still upset. Clearly you're still upset, and that's

1155
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:43,640
Speaker 2: okay because you were wrongfully accused of something.

1156
00:52:43,719 --> 00:52:45,759
Speaker 4: Your words say that, but your body language is not.

1157
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:48,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, we gotta be honest and open with each other.

1158
00:52:48,680 --> 00:52:51,279
Speaker 4: So I also said that I appreciated how quickly he

1159
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:54,600
Speaker 4: dropped everything with her, despite any misgivings he may have

1160
00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:57,120
Speaker 4: had about what I was asking of him. He said,

1161
00:52:57,120 --> 00:52:59,400
Speaker 4: no problem, and that he was glad he could be

1162
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:02,080
Speaker 4: normal with her in less than a week and she

1163
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:04,319
Speaker 4: wouldn't be too weirded out by all of it. I

1164
00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:07,040
Speaker 4: felt uncomfortable by that and framed it in the way

1165
00:53:07,160 --> 00:53:09,640
Speaker 4: a lot of commenters had suggested I frame it. I

1166
00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:12,840
Speaker 4: told him I was uncomfortable with how quickly and deeply

1167
00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:15,799
Speaker 4: his friendship with this single girl who was supposed to

1168
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:18,680
Speaker 4: not even have been good friends with him had strengthened.

1169
00:53:18,719 --> 00:53:22,000
Speaker 2: It's kind of how friendships go, though, you know, they

1170
00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:25,640
Speaker 2: just shift, especially when you're like in close like the

1171
00:53:25,760 --> 00:53:28,400
Speaker 2: working or schools like yeah, the proximity.

1172
00:53:28,520 --> 00:53:31,760
Speaker 4: Again, he brought up trust that she was his college friend,

1173
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:34,000
Speaker 4: and all I said, I trust him. Just tone it down.

1174
00:53:34,239 --> 00:53:36,080
Speaker 4: I want my daughter and me to be his priority,

1175
00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:38,239
Speaker 4: not some random girl. I kind of broke down a

1176
00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:40,759
Speaker 4: little bit at this point. I know some comments i'd

1177
00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:44,080
Speaker 4: called me emotionally harmful, but I swear this wasn't something

1178
00:53:44,120 --> 00:53:46,440
Speaker 4: I had planned. I asked him just to not have

1179
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:48,839
Speaker 4: her be a strong presence, and he said he would

1180
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:51,840
Speaker 4: tone it down, that he'd keep the friendship to the

1181
00:53:51,880 --> 00:53:54,080
Speaker 4: way it was initially. I'm glad to clear it out,

1182
00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:56,200
Speaker 4: the emotional fair part out of it. I didn't like

1183
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:59,120
Speaker 4: I have to accuse him of it, and it really wasn't.

1184
00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:01,320
Speaker 4: I crossed the line there, and I want to clarify.

1185
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:04,000
Speaker 4: I'm okay with him having some women as friends. One

1186
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:06,640
Speaker 4: of his closest friends is a girl, but again, she

1187
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:10,359
Speaker 4: doesn't get the same frequency of communication his coworkers get,

1188
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:13,520
Speaker 4: especially when the work hours are factored in. Okay, so

1189
00:54:13,719 --> 00:54:15,120
Speaker 4: he isn't isolating him.

1190
00:54:15,280 --> 00:54:18,080
Speaker 2: I don't. Yeah, I don't know. It feels like she's

1191
00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:21,120
Speaker 2: apologizing and yet still accusing him, you know, like he's

1192
00:54:21,160 --> 00:54:23,200
Speaker 2: already cut her off. It seems like they're kind of

1193
00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:26,200
Speaker 2: going back on that and letting him have a little contact,

1194
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:29,799
Speaker 2: but it seems like he has not once you know,

1195
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:33,480
Speaker 2: made her priority over you guys. So it feels a

1196
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:36,600
Speaker 2: little bit. It doesn't feel great that ope Is is

1197
00:54:36,719 --> 00:54:39,879
Speaker 2: kind of taking back her apology and being like, well, yeah,

1198
00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:41,720
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I said you were having an emotional affair

1199
00:54:41,840 --> 00:54:45,279
Speaker 2: but also can't believe that you're doing this, you know.

1200
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:47,120
Speaker 4: Anyway, we made up after all that.

1201
00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:48,640
Speaker 2: Anyway, we made out.

1202
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:53,160
Speaker 4: I wish they did they did our wait, I'm whoa

1203
00:54:55,320 --> 00:54:57,960
Speaker 4: that didn't exist. Anyway, we made up after all of that,

1204
00:54:58,160 --> 00:55:00,160
Speaker 4: and hopefully we're back on the way we were for

1205
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:02,680
Speaker 4: all this. Thanks a lot. We have a second update.

1206
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:07,080
Speaker 2: I don't feel like you have made up. Yeah. It

1207
00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:10,319
Speaker 2: feels like, oh, he's like, yep, everything's literally every time

1208
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:12,319
Speaker 2: we've had some sort of update, Oh, he's like, yep,

1209
00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:15,200
Speaker 2: everything's fine. Oh he's still upset. Yep, everything's fine. We

1210
00:55:15,239 --> 00:55:17,839
Speaker 2: talked about it. Oh he's still upset, but we talked

1211
00:55:17,840 --> 00:55:20,200
Speaker 2: about it. Everything's fine. It's like you guys are talking

1212
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:24,960
Speaker 2: about like one little drop in the ocean of this problem.

1213
00:55:25,080 --> 00:55:27,880
Speaker 4: Yeah. Every time, it feels very like band aid on

1214
00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:30,319
Speaker 4: a compound fracture. Oh yeah, deal.

1215
00:55:30,520 --> 00:55:32,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you just keep creating more problems every time

1216
00:55:32,640 --> 00:55:33,440
Speaker 2: we talk about it.

1217
00:55:33,560 --> 00:55:36,839
Speaker 4: I haven't heard a single stance from him at all.

1218
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:39,360
Speaker 4: The only stance that he's taken it's non emotional affair.

1219
00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:41,480
Speaker 4: That's it. I mean, I still don't know how he

1220
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:42,160
Speaker 4: feels about.

1221
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:43,840
Speaker 2: It, no clue. I don't know if he's upset with you.

1222
00:55:43,920 --> 00:55:45,200
Speaker 2: I don't know if he wants to be this guy

1223
00:55:45,280 --> 00:55:45,920
Speaker 2: girl's friend.

1224
00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:50,200
Speaker 4: Oh no, nothing should ask about his feelings. Second update.

1225
00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:52,520
Speaker 4: First of all, I may have been rude in lashing

1226
00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:54,279
Speaker 4: out in the comments on my last posts for not

1227
00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:56,759
Speaker 4: having said all that stuff in my first post. It

1228
00:55:56,800 --> 00:55:58,920
Speaker 4: was honestly my fault. I have taken advice on this

1229
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:01,879
Speaker 4: issue based on a comments rather than going to someone

1230
00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:04,680
Speaker 4: I trust, even if that meant I'm telling them about

1231
00:56:04,680 --> 00:56:07,720
Speaker 4: my marital issues, which is something I'd always been taught

1232
00:56:07,760 --> 00:56:11,719
Speaker 4: to avoid. I decided that while I wouldn't invalidate my feelings,

1233
00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:14,759
Speaker 4: I wouldn't bring it up again unless I felt uncomfortable

1234
00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:17,040
Speaker 4: again and just trust my husband to handle it. Over

1235
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:19,239
Speaker 4: the past few days, I didn't have any reason to

1236
00:56:19,239 --> 00:56:22,760
Speaker 4: bring it up again. The frequency really has decreased. In fact,

1237
00:56:22,800 --> 00:56:24,480
Speaker 4: he was the one who brought it up when his

1238
00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:26,799
Speaker 4: phone had paned. I brought it to him and saw

1239
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:29,680
Speaker 4: it was her texting him. I wasn't going to bring

1240
00:56:29,680 --> 00:56:32,120
Speaker 4: it up again because the text had become few and

1241
00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:34,840
Speaker 4: far in between, but he started the topic and said

1242
00:56:34,880 --> 00:56:37,200
Speaker 4: that he had torn down their closeness for me. We

1243
00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:38,280
Speaker 4: got a little bit left.

1244
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:41,520
Speaker 2: Here I honestly feel like it hasn't fully been resolved.

1245
00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:43,480
Speaker 2: I don't know. Yeah, No, it feels like, oh, he

1246
00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:46,480
Speaker 2: still thinks that she's in the right here, which is

1247
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:49,399
Speaker 2: bothersome to me, Like it still feels like she's like, yeah,

1248
00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:51,680
Speaker 2: and I told him that I was uncomfortable and he

1249
00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:54,560
Speaker 2: fixed the problem. It's like, no, but your insecurity is

1250
00:56:54,560 --> 00:56:57,040
Speaker 2: the problem here, and the fact that you accuse your

1251
00:56:57,160 --> 00:56:59,919
Speaker 2: husband of having an emotional affair and you haven't really

1252
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:03,160
Speaker 2: heard his side of the story. Mm hmmm, or really,

1253
00:57:03,200 --> 00:57:05,000
Speaker 2: I don't know. It just doesn't feel like unless she

1254
00:57:05,120 --> 00:57:07,800
Speaker 2: might not have gone in depth about how she apologized,

1255
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:09,759
Speaker 2: we don't really know, so maybe she did, but it

1256
00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:11,680
Speaker 2: just it felt like it was a glossed over or

1257
00:57:11,800 --> 00:57:13,040
Speaker 2: his feelings were she's.

1258
00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:14,880
Speaker 4: Just getting her stuff out, He's not really getting his

1259
00:57:14,880 --> 00:57:15,239
Speaker 4: stuff out.

1260
00:57:15,320 --> 00:57:16,240
Speaker 2: That's what it feels like to me.

1261
00:57:16,560 --> 00:57:18,720
Speaker 4: So op, he continues. I thanked him and said it

1262
00:57:18,760 --> 00:57:21,280
Speaker 4: was good of her to be understanding too. He said,

1263
00:57:21,360 --> 00:57:23,240
Speaker 4: he just told her it was all good and it

1264
00:57:23,280 --> 00:57:26,480
Speaker 4: was a misunderstanding, but he just reduced the frequency of

1265
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:29,000
Speaker 4: contact on his own side for me because he knew

1266
00:57:29,040 --> 00:57:32,760
Speaker 4: her that she'd feel terrible about having caused issues and

1267
00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:35,480
Speaker 4: why punish her for our issues? And she is his

1268
00:57:35,560 --> 00:57:38,960
Speaker 4: coworker and acquaintance, so I get his POV. That's why

1269
00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:41,560
Speaker 4: make it messy. But I'm happy with where we are now,

1270
00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:44,120
Speaker 4: as difficult as this may have been, and I'm glad

1271
00:57:44,160 --> 00:57:46,880
Speaker 4: he was able to move past me using the phrase

1272
00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:50,120
Speaker 4: emotional affair too. That's all we got. Here's Jeanie og

1273
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:51,680
Speaker 4: Host here. We're gonna get back to the stories. But

1274
00:57:51,680 --> 00:57:53,800
Speaker 4: he's a quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors.

1275
00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:57,120
Speaker 2: My father is in love with a girl half his age.

1276
00:57:57,480 --> 00:57:59,080
Speaker 4: Ah, he's gotta bump his numbers up.

1277
00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:02,880
Speaker 2: I May seventeen, live with my mom forty six and

1278
00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:07,240
Speaker 2: my brother thirteen and my dad fifty. My relationship with

1279
00:58:07,280 --> 00:58:09,760
Speaker 2: my dad has always been rocky, and he's let me

1280
00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:13,000
Speaker 2: down many times before, but this time feels like the

1281
00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:17,280
Speaker 2: final straw. By the way, this comes from Legitimate Process

1282
00:58:17,360 --> 00:58:19,040
Speaker 2: ninety and if you want to spend your own stories,

1283
00:58:19,040 --> 00:58:21,160
Speaker 2: go to the r slash okay story time subreddit.

1284
00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:25,320
Speaker 4: So I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, I'm Dakota.

1285
00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:28,720
Speaker 2: And Op says last Wednesday, he told this completely out

1286
00:58:28,720 --> 00:58:30,440
Speaker 2: of the blue, that he asked my mom for a

1287
00:58:30,520 --> 00:58:32,760
Speaker 2: divorce because he wasn't in love with her anymore, and

1288
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:35,920
Speaker 2: he had feelings for his twenty one year old coworker, Rebecca.

1289
00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:39,880
Speaker 2: For context, she just turned twenty one. I was furious.

1290
00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:42,240
Speaker 4: Well, he did the right thing in asking for a

1291
00:58:42,240 --> 00:58:43,040
Speaker 4: divorce first.

1292
00:58:43,400 --> 00:58:47,400
Speaker 2: At least there's that. At least he's got that. At

1293
00:58:47,440 --> 00:58:49,960
Speaker 2: least he's not well. We actually don't really know if

1294
00:58:49,960 --> 00:58:50,640
Speaker 2: he's not a cheater.

1295
00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:52,160
Speaker 4: I'm gonna give them a bit of a doubt.

1296
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:54,280
Speaker 2: Dang, Rebecca girl.

1297
00:58:54,680 --> 00:58:57,920
Speaker 4: He's old enough to know not to cheat, yeah, but

1298
00:58:58,000 --> 00:59:00,680
Speaker 4: not old enough to know how old he was supposed

1299
00:59:00,680 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 4: to date.

1300
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:01,720
Speaker 2: Way too young.

1301
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:03,720
Speaker 4: It's half your age plus seven. Everyone.

1302
00:59:03,920 --> 00:59:06,280
Speaker 2: My parents have been together since two thousand and three.

1303
00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:09,680
Speaker 2: The relationship has had issues, but this was still shocking.

1304
00:59:09,760 --> 00:59:12,840
Speaker 2: What made it even weirder was how impulsive and unlike

1305
00:59:12,920 --> 00:59:15,200
Speaker 2: him it was. He left the house the next day

1306
00:59:15,360 --> 00:59:18,800
Speaker 2: after non stop fighting, packed his stuff into our car,

1307
00:59:18,960 --> 00:59:21,040
Speaker 2: and went to sleep in a parking lot. The car

1308
00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:23,160
Speaker 2: in the house are both in my mom's name, and

1309
00:59:23,200 --> 00:59:25,960
Speaker 2: he only had eighteen dollars in his personal bank account

1310
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:30,000
Speaker 2: when he left. Then the next morning, he suddenly came back,

1311
00:59:30,160 --> 00:59:32,520
Speaker 2: saying he felt like he was in a trance that

1312
00:59:32,520 --> 00:59:34,240
Speaker 2: the fog had lifted and that he had made a

1313
00:59:34,320 --> 00:59:38,320
Speaker 2: huge mistake. Bummer, I did maybe the twenty one year

1314
00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:41,600
Speaker 2: old realize that dating a fifty year old man who

1315
00:59:41,640 --> 00:59:44,520
Speaker 2: has less money than how old she is was a mistake.

1316
00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:46,400
Speaker 4: There we go. I knew you're gonna miss the money part.

1317
00:59:46,560 --> 00:59:46,760
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1318
00:59:46,800 --> 00:59:48,960
Speaker 4: See, if he had a lot more money, it would

1319
00:59:48,960 --> 00:59:49,800
Speaker 4: have been totally fine.

1320
00:59:49,960 --> 00:59:53,160
Speaker 2: He begged for another chance. My mom thinks he was

1321
00:59:53,320 --> 00:59:57,360
Speaker 2: genuinely delusional and believes it may be tied to his health.

1322
00:59:57,400 --> 00:59:59,960
Speaker 4: Oh then you better better go take him to it

1323
01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:01,960
Speaker 4: doctor and prove him wrong.

1324
01:00:02,200 --> 01:00:04,720
Speaker 2: He had a severe case of West Nile virus in

1325
01:00:04,760 --> 01:00:09,360
Speaker 2: twenty twenty one that caused lasting neurological issues and personality changes.

1326
01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:10,320
Speaker 2: Yea look into that.

1327
01:00:10,680 --> 01:00:12,800
Speaker 4: We gotta start looking into the West Nile virus.

1328
01:00:13,080 --> 01:00:15,680
Speaker 2: She is choosing to forgive him and is letting him stay.

1329
01:00:16,200 --> 01:00:18,560
Speaker 2: I don't buy it. I think he only came crawling

1330
01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:21,360
Speaker 2: back because the fantasy he built in his head wasn't

1331
01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:24,160
Speaker 2: actually going to work. My mom is the sole breadwinner

1332
01:00:24,160 --> 01:00:27,120
Speaker 2: and has supported us our entire lives. My dad is

1333
01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:29,680
Speaker 2: a part time job as a pizza delivery man. However,

1334
01:00:29,720 --> 01:00:33,080
Speaker 2: his money is only used for his stuff SIGs a, gas,

1335
01:00:33,160 --> 01:00:35,760
Speaker 2: et cetera. I think he realized he blew up his

1336
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:39,480
Speaker 2: entire life for a girl half his age who didn't

1337
01:00:39,560 --> 01:00:42,680
Speaker 2: actually want him, and now he's trying to do damage control.

1338
01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:43,040
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1339
01:00:43,080 --> 01:00:45,640
Speaker 2: I think that's probably the more likely than the West

1340
01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:46,520
Speaker 2: Nile virus.

1341
01:00:46,840 --> 01:00:47,400
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1342
01:00:47,440 --> 01:00:50,240
Speaker 2: He's been trying to talk to me, apologizing, saying he

1343
01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:53,320
Speaker 2: loves me and wants to fix things. I'm ignoring him completely.

1344
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:56,040
Speaker 2: I feel guilty sometimes, but I can tell it hurts him.

1345
01:00:56,160 --> 01:00:59,600
Speaker 2: But I honestly don't think I can forgive him. Yeah,

1346
01:00:59,640 --> 01:01:02,840
Speaker 2: I mean, at least not this year. Yeah, no, at

1347
01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:05,440
Speaker 2: least give yourself a minute. This situation is just the

1348
01:01:05,440 --> 01:01:09,840
Speaker 2: most recent in a long pattern of disappointment and selfishness.

1349
01:01:09,920 --> 01:01:12,680
Speaker 2: My mom respects my decision, but she clearly hopes I'll

1350
01:01:12,680 --> 01:01:15,120
Speaker 2: try to work on my relationship with him again. I'm

1351
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:17,880
Speaker 2: not interested. I still live at home for another year

1352
01:01:17,920 --> 01:01:20,960
Speaker 2: before college, so I'm just planning on avoiding him completely.

1353
01:01:21,120 --> 01:01:23,560
Speaker 2: Am I the ale for refusing to give my dad

1354
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:26,520
Speaker 2: another chance, even though he might have been mentally unwell

1355
01:01:26,560 --> 01:01:29,360
Speaker 2: when he made that decision. Well, I don't really believe

1356
01:01:29,400 --> 01:01:29,960
Speaker 2: that he was.

1357
01:01:30,280 --> 01:01:33,400
Speaker 4: There is a lot of straws that will break the

1358
01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:35,720
Speaker 4: camel's back. In this case, he put a ton of

1359
01:01:35,760 --> 01:01:39,280
Speaker 4: bricks on the camel's back, and that's what broke your relationship. Yeah,

1360
01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:40,920
Speaker 4: on top of all the other bricks.

1361
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:45,120
Speaker 2: You're seventeen. Your dad cheated on your mom, at least

1362
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:48,560
Speaker 2: emotionally said he was leaving. So I told all of

1363
01:01:48,600 --> 01:01:51,280
Speaker 2: you that he was leaving to go chase this twenty

1364
01:01:51,320 --> 01:01:53,640
Speaker 2: one year old and then comes back and expects you

1365
01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:54,640
Speaker 2: to just be fine with it.

1366
01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:55,120
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1367
01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:56,360
Speaker 2: I think, of course you're not going to be fine

1368
01:01:56,360 --> 01:01:56,560
Speaker 2: with it.

1369
01:01:56,600 --> 01:01:58,600
Speaker 4: You know. I don't even think he was emotionally cheating.

1370
01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:00,280
Speaker 4: I think he put this all in his head.

1371
01:02:00,400 --> 01:02:03,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe he wasn't even like well, at least he

1372
01:02:03,040 --> 01:02:05,640
Speaker 2: was emotionally invested in this girl who may or may

1373
01:02:05,640 --> 01:02:07,040
Speaker 2: not have had emotions for him.

1374
01:02:07,080 --> 01:02:10,919
Speaker 4: We call that pre insiding cheating. That's what was happening here.

1375
01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:13,720
Speaker 2: Comment one. The twenty one year old probably didn't want him,

1376
01:02:13,760 --> 01:02:16,360
Speaker 2: so he blamed his actions on a trance. Your mom

1377
01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:19,160
Speaker 2: must be really gullible if she believes that story. I'd

1378
01:02:19,160 --> 01:02:22,120
Speaker 2: ignore him too. Comment two says trust is a fragile thing.

1379
01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:25,360
Speaker 2: Once destroyed, it is almost impossible to get back. Your

1380
01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:27,560
Speaker 2: father thinks he can just walk back in and have

1381
01:02:27,760 --> 01:02:30,440
Speaker 2: everything the way it was, and that isn't gonna happen

1382
01:02:30,480 --> 01:02:33,720
Speaker 2: anytime soon. Don't punt yourself. You're not to blame for

1383
01:02:33,800 --> 01:02:36,720
Speaker 2: what happened, and you are under no obligation to forgive

1384
01:02:36,840 --> 01:02:39,760
Speaker 2: and forget. That said, I do think your father's bizarre

1385
01:02:39,880 --> 01:02:42,640
Speaker 2: behavior is due to some health issue. He obviously needs

1386
01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:44,640
Speaker 2: to be seen by a doctor. Oh, he says. He

1387
01:02:44,640 --> 01:02:46,720
Speaker 2: has stated he is going to see a new therapist

1388
01:02:46,760 --> 01:02:50,280
Speaker 2: and psychiatrist. He already sees multiple doctors often as he

1389
01:02:50,320 --> 01:02:53,240
Speaker 2: has a slew of health problems, including a neurologist for

1390
01:02:53,280 --> 01:02:56,280
Speaker 2: the lasting effects of West Nile VIRUSMA three says, not

1391
01:02:56,400 --> 01:02:59,320
Speaker 2: the ale when someone hurts you. Forgiveness is given on

1392
01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:02,640
Speaker 2: your terms, not theirs, that is, if you choose to

1393
01:03:02,680 --> 01:03:05,320
Speaker 2: forgive them at all. Remember one thing through all of this,

1394
01:03:05,520 --> 01:03:07,720
Speaker 2: there is nothing wrong if you change your mind by

1395
01:03:07,760 --> 01:03:10,840
Speaker 2: forgiving your father. There's nothing wrong if you don't. Either way,

1396
01:03:10,880 --> 01:03:13,240
Speaker 2: there's no timeline you have to adhere to and when

1397
01:03:13,280 --> 01:03:15,160
Speaker 2: Forred says, no twenty one year old is f inen

1398
01:03:15,160 --> 01:03:17,960
Speaker 2: a fifty year old unless he's got money. Everyone knows

1399
01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:20,880
Speaker 2: this broke boy is delusional. Your mom's a doormat for

1400
01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:23,160
Speaker 2: letting him back in. Tell her she can do better

1401
01:03:23,280 --> 01:03:26,760
Speaker 2: a part time pizza delivery driver that doesn't contribute anything

1402
01:03:26,800 --> 01:03:30,360
Speaker 2: to the household. Seriously, dude, acts like he's another teenager

1403
01:03:30,400 --> 01:03:32,280
Speaker 2: for her to mother. Why is she putting up with

1404
01:03:32,320 --> 01:03:34,120
Speaker 2: any of this in the first place. It would be

1405
01:03:34,240 --> 01:03:36,360
Speaker 2: cheaper if she didn't have him to feed as well,

1406
01:03:36,480 --> 01:03:38,840
Speaker 2: and it's not like she needs childcare for the kids

1407
01:03:38,840 --> 01:03:42,360
Speaker 2: anymore either. You're all teen What a useless e fing

1408
01:03:42,480 --> 01:03:46,400
Speaker 2: loser is? And there is an update, but that commentary

1409
01:03:46,440 --> 01:03:47,000
Speaker 2: read him.

1410
01:03:47,440 --> 01:03:48,120
Speaker 4: So wait, was.

1411
01:03:48,480 --> 01:03:51,200
Speaker 2: He a he'd never had like a real job, as

1412
01:03:51,240 --> 01:03:55,040
Speaker 2: you just do that after the West Now virus? Well

1413
01:03:55,160 --> 01:03:57,880
Speaker 2: if he unclear, Yeah, he didn't get his prior job.

1414
01:03:57,960 --> 01:03:59,360
Speaker 4: I'm assuming you didn't have a job if you only

1415
01:03:59,400 --> 01:04:00,680
Speaker 4: had twenty bucks bank account.

1416
01:04:00,720 --> 01:04:04,040
Speaker 2: Fast forward to my birthday trip, about two weeks after

1417
01:04:04,080 --> 01:04:06,640
Speaker 2: the initial situation. We were going to the beach with me,

1418
01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:09,680
Speaker 2: my mom, my brother, and my best friend. My dad

1419
01:04:09,760 --> 01:04:11,800
Speaker 2: was staying home because we have a lot of animals

1420
01:04:11,840 --> 01:04:13,880
Speaker 2: and it was easier for him to just stay than

1421
01:04:14,160 --> 01:04:15,760
Speaker 2: to pay for them to all be watched.

1422
01:04:15,880 --> 01:04:17,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, and so the twenty one year old could also

1423
01:04:17,920 --> 01:04:18,640
Speaker 4: pet the pets. Too.

1424
01:04:18,840 --> 01:04:21,240
Speaker 2: Yikes. I was actually really looking forward to it because

1425
01:04:21,280 --> 01:04:23,080
Speaker 2: it felt like the first time I get a break

1426
01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:25,439
Speaker 2: from all the chaos with my dad. Then my dad

1427
01:04:25,480 --> 01:04:29,200
Speaker 2: decides to drive seven hours to our airbnb as some

1428
01:04:29,320 --> 01:04:32,840
Speaker 2: kind of grand gesture. Can you drive seven hours right

1429
01:04:32,880 --> 01:04:33,360
Speaker 2: back home?

1430
01:04:33,760 --> 01:04:34,800
Speaker 4: Did he bring a zoo with him?

1431
01:04:34,920 --> 01:04:37,200
Speaker 2: My mom claims she didn't know he was coming until

1432
01:04:37,200 --> 01:04:39,800
Speaker 2: he called her, well already three hours into the drive,

1433
01:04:40,040 --> 01:04:42,360
Speaker 2: But I don't really buy that. Plan was apparently for

1434
01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:44,320
Speaker 2: him to stay the night, and she had already paid

1435
01:04:44,360 --> 01:04:46,200
Speaker 2: for an extra spot so he could come with us

1436
01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:48,640
Speaker 2: on the boat tour and dinner. So it's hard for

1437
01:04:48,640 --> 01:04:51,400
Speaker 2: me to believe that she had no idea. Here's the punter.

1438
01:04:51,560 --> 01:04:54,720
Speaker 2: She wasn't even planning on telling me. She literally wanted

1439
01:04:54,760 --> 01:04:57,000
Speaker 2: it to be us the bride that he just walked

1440
01:04:57,000 --> 01:04:59,120
Speaker 2: in the door. The only reason I knew was because

1441
01:04:59,120 --> 01:05:01,080
Speaker 2: she brought it up to my best friend I'll call

1442
01:05:01,120 --> 01:05:04,040
Speaker 2: her Jane. That morning, Mom says she asked Jane if

1443
01:05:04,080 --> 01:05:06,040
Speaker 2: if she should tell me, and Jane told her no.

1444
01:05:06,200 --> 01:05:08,440
Speaker 2: But Jane straight up told me. All she asked was

1445
01:05:08,520 --> 01:05:10,520
Speaker 2: if she thought I'd be upset, and she said yes.

1446
01:05:10,680 --> 01:05:12,840
Speaker 2: Later on, while we were out Jane told me what

1447
01:05:12,960 --> 01:05:14,960
Speaker 2: was happening anyway, and then my dad was about an

1448
01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:17,960
Speaker 2: hour away. My mom got pissed at her for telling me,

1449
01:05:18,040 --> 01:05:21,120
Speaker 2: why are you putting this on Ohpie's other seventeen year

1450
01:05:21,120 --> 01:05:25,240
Speaker 2: old friend. That's very weird. Let's not involve other children

1451
01:05:25,320 --> 01:05:30,000
Speaker 2: into your marital issues weird. When I found out, I

1452
01:05:30,120 --> 01:05:33,560
Speaker 2: was devastated. I had explicitly said I was excited to

1453
01:05:33,560 --> 01:05:35,960
Speaker 2: get away from him this trip, and instead it turned

1454
01:05:35,960 --> 01:05:38,360
Speaker 2: into this whole thing. My mom was mad at me

1455
01:05:38,440 --> 01:05:40,840
Speaker 2: for being upset and kept saying things like, it's still

1456
01:05:40,920 --> 01:05:43,640
Speaker 2: your dad. We'll have to get over it eventually, and

1457
01:05:43,680 --> 01:05:46,440
Speaker 2: he's trying to show he cares. She even tried to

1458
01:05:46,480 --> 01:05:48,400
Speaker 2: spin it like maybe he was doing it for her

1459
01:05:48,600 --> 01:05:50,960
Speaker 2: to prove he cared about fixing their marriage by showing

1460
01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:51,520
Speaker 2: up for us.

1461
01:05:51,840 --> 01:05:54,040
Speaker 4: Okay, he was showing up for you guys, but taking

1462
01:05:54,080 --> 01:05:54,640
Speaker 4: care of the pets.

1463
01:05:55,040 --> 01:05:58,280
Speaker 2: Girl, girl. It just feels like Opie's mom is like

1464
01:05:58,520 --> 01:06:02,919
Speaker 2: really delusional, which is fair because she's had this relationship,

1465
01:06:03,040 --> 01:06:06,320
Speaker 2: you know, for if this is twenty you know, if

1466
01:06:06,320 --> 01:06:09,520
Speaker 2: this is modern day, it's been like over twenty years

1467
01:06:09,520 --> 01:06:10,080
Speaker 2: of marriage.

1468
01:06:10,320 --> 01:06:14,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, she probably really dependent too. Can't see alive without him,

1469
01:06:14,840 --> 01:06:16,480
Speaker 4: So that's why she's given him another chance.

1470
01:06:16,640 --> 01:06:19,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, it's not like she's financially dependent, so like

1471
01:06:19,520 --> 01:06:22,040
Speaker 2: it seems like it probably would be emotional dependent or

1472
01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:25,400
Speaker 2: you know, dependence. She kept saying, Well, I feel happy

1473
01:06:25,400 --> 01:06:27,600
Speaker 2: he did it, and I just felt like screaming because

1474
01:06:27,640 --> 01:06:30,600
Speaker 2: this was my birthday, not hers. My mom said he

1475
01:06:30,680 --> 01:06:32,640
Speaker 2: was coming to give me a birthday card, so I

1476
01:06:32,720 --> 01:06:35,880
Speaker 2: was expecting a long, thoughtful written card. He drove seven

1477
01:06:35,920 --> 01:06:38,280
Speaker 2: hours to hand me a card with two sentences in it,

1478
01:06:38,400 --> 01:06:40,480
Speaker 2: sorry for what I did. I'll make it up to you.

1479
01:06:40,640 --> 01:06:41,840
Speaker 4: At least they acknowledged it.

1480
01:06:42,320 --> 01:06:42,720
Speaker 2: Yikes.

1481
01:06:43,160 --> 01:06:46,560
Speaker 4: Sometimes men are a few words but great with action.

1482
01:06:46,840 --> 01:06:48,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think we've really seen either of those

1483
01:06:48,800 --> 01:06:52,120
Speaker 2: from him. That's it. After all that, he stayed for

1484
01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:55,520
Speaker 2: maybe a few minutes, then turned right around and drove

1485
01:06:55,600 --> 01:06:57,920
Speaker 2: all the way back home because I was so upset.

1486
01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:00,120
Speaker 2: There also wasn't even enough room in the AIRBNBA for

1487
01:07:00,200 --> 01:07:03,080
Speaker 2: him to stay, so they didn't think that through. Oh wow,

1488
01:07:03,160 --> 01:07:04,440
Speaker 2: there is a little bit left. But do you have

1489
01:07:04,440 --> 01:07:05,520
Speaker 2: any final thoughts?

1490
01:07:05,800 --> 01:07:07,080
Speaker 4: This guy's losing it.

1491
01:07:07,200 --> 01:07:07,880
Speaker 2: He's losing it.

1492
01:07:07,960 --> 01:07:10,880
Speaker 4: Another crazy thing to do is to drive seven hours

1493
01:07:11,040 --> 01:07:13,840
Speaker 4: stay for a couple of minutes and then driven seven hours.

1494
01:07:13,880 --> 01:07:16,240
Speaker 2: Jieve you're not gonna get like a I don't know

1495
01:07:16,400 --> 01:07:19,040
Speaker 2: so at this dog only knows that well, just like

1496
01:07:19,160 --> 01:07:21,240
Speaker 2: a motel. Not going to figure it out.

1497
01:07:21,440 --> 01:07:23,800
Speaker 4: I'm supposed you have enough money to get gas money.

1498
01:07:24,160 --> 01:07:27,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, your dad sucks. Your mom sucks for enabling your dad,

1499
01:07:27,840 --> 01:07:28,280
Speaker 2: and I.

1500
01:07:28,240 --> 01:07:31,600
Speaker 4: Would also like to see Yeah, that too, and also

1501
01:07:31,680 --> 01:07:34,320
Speaker 4: I would like to see the parents' financial situation.

1502
01:07:34,760 --> 01:07:38,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wonder, I wonder, but there's a little bit left.

1503
01:07:38,440 --> 01:07:41,360
Speaker 2: This was mid July. I've gone back to talking to

1504
01:07:41,440 --> 01:07:44,280
Speaker 2: my dad normally, but only to keep the peace. I

1505
01:07:44,320 --> 01:07:46,440
Speaker 2: don't want to, but if I start ignoring him again,

1506
01:07:46,520 --> 01:07:48,360
Speaker 2: it'll set my mom off, and I don't have the

1507
01:07:48,480 --> 01:07:51,640
Speaker 2: energy for more fights, so I'm just stuck pretending everything's

1508
01:07:51,680 --> 01:07:54,640
Speaker 2: fine when it's not. It's exhausting to constantly have my

1509
01:07:54,680 --> 01:07:57,600
Speaker 2: boundaries push aside, and I genuinely don't get how they

1510
01:07:57,600 --> 01:08:00,400
Speaker 2: think that's supposed to make me forgive him. My parents'

1511
01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:03,160
Speaker 2: relationship seems to be better. I'm only viewing it from

1512
01:08:03,160 --> 01:08:05,360
Speaker 2: the outside, but they've been going on dates, been more

1513
01:08:05,400 --> 01:08:08,400
Speaker 2: touchy feely, spending more time together. If they really did

1514
01:08:08,440 --> 01:08:11,480
Speaker 2: fix things permanently, I'm happy for them. My mom deserves

1515
01:08:11,480 --> 01:08:13,880
Speaker 2: to be happy. However, I feel that him changing his

1516
01:08:14,000 --> 01:08:16,639
Speaker 2: behavior doesn't erase the things he did in the past.

1517
01:08:16,880 --> 01:08:19,400
Speaker 2: I don't feel like I want a close relationship with

1518
01:08:19,520 --> 01:08:22,160
Speaker 2: him ever, even if he's changed. Am I in the

1519
01:08:22,200 --> 01:08:24,640
Speaker 2: wrong to not move on and forgive even if he

1520
01:08:24,680 --> 01:08:27,960
Speaker 2: has truly changed? Imments gone on? Why do people think

1521
01:08:27,960 --> 01:08:30,120
Speaker 2: that when a parent and a spouse leaves a marriage,

1522
01:08:30,160 --> 01:08:32,639
Speaker 2: they don't leave the child. The mom is never considered

1523
01:08:32,680 --> 01:08:35,679
Speaker 2: that the father walked out on the child's family as well,

1524
01:08:35,800 --> 01:08:38,120
Speaker 2: not just the mom, to be with the twenty one

1525
01:08:38,200 --> 01:08:40,960
Speaker 2: year old person who's probably closer to the child's age

1526
01:08:41,360 --> 01:08:43,320
Speaker 2: than to the mother's age. I know we'd like to

1527
01:08:43,320 --> 01:08:46,200
Speaker 2: tell our young children that no and mom dad split up.

1528
01:08:46,280 --> 01:08:48,479
Speaker 2: Dad didn't leave you, But the fact is that dad

1529
01:08:48,600 --> 01:08:52,040
Speaker 2: left the family unit which included the child. So not

1530
01:08:52,080 --> 01:08:54,519
Speaker 2: the able, Opie says, Yes, she's four years older than

1531
01:08:54,520 --> 01:08:56,000
Speaker 2: me and would have been a senior when I was

1532
01:08:56,040 --> 01:08:59,000
Speaker 2: a freshman, so in theory she could have been my peer.

1533
01:08:59,240 --> 01:09:05,360
Speaker 2: No ya Yaki, Yeah, no, you're not the able at all.

1534
01:09:05,439 --> 01:09:08,479
Speaker 2: Oh pe, that's just terrible situation that your dad has

1535
01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:10,640
Speaker 2: put you in, and now your parents are trying to

1536
01:09:10,680 --> 01:09:13,760
Speaker 2: act like you're the problem when they're creating all these

1537
01:09:13,800 --> 01:09:17,320
Speaker 2: problems and expecting you to be, you know, perfect mature

1538
01:09:17,360 --> 01:09:21,080
Speaker 2: person when they're not acting like adults. Really weird, But

1539
01:09:21,400 --> 01:09:23,080
Speaker 2: that's the end of that story.