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Speaker 1: Motherfucking Miniyar Sons, motherfucking mini your so welcome. Welcome, welcome, Welcome.

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Speaker 1: I put boars in to another episode of My Mama

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Speaker 1: Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into

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Speaker 1: the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we work hard

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Speaker 1: to prove conspiracies provided by you the listener. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: time for your ship, baby. I love it. I'm David Bory,

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Speaker 1: I'm Lankston Kerman and David's right. We're about to dig

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Speaker 1: into your to the listener emails. We don't we listen.

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Speaker 1: We get a fun ton of email, too many. It's

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Speaker 1: a fun ton of emails, but we could always have more.

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Speaker 1: I think, I think, I think you can send us

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Speaker 1: some more. It feels good to know that you're obsessed

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Speaker 1: with us. Come on, don't be Shyes, send us your car.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what I'm come on, you know? But

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Speaker 1: today we do have an email. This is this is

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Speaker 1: uh an email that actually came from a while back.

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure how it got missed or what was

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Speaker 1: the motivation for me skipping it, but I'm excited to

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Speaker 1: be to be reading it now. It came it came

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Speaker 1: from someone named Pat. Pat sent us an email that

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Speaker 1: the subject line says, lotion equals at she Nigga insurance?

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Speaker 1: Does that? Does that excite you as a subject line?

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Speaker 1: That was what was going off in my head. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: is going to be good. You already got the air

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Speaker 1: horns ringing and David's head, so so this is the

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Speaker 1: exciting Pat. But Pat said, what's good? Lengthston, it's Pat

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Speaker 1: greetings from Forest Park? Yet that Forest Park? Uh, it's

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Speaker 1: the the neighborhood adjacent to the neighborhood I grew up in.

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Speaker 1: I hope that that Claire terrifies it for you, David.

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Speaker 1: I don't want you to be left in the dark

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Speaker 1: of like, why the funk is Forest Park being emphasized

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Speaker 1: so much? I've been to Chicago? Hell yeah? Where? All right? Well,

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Speaker 1: Pat said, I've been a listener from the beginning and

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Speaker 1: haven't missed a goddamn episode yet. I have a black

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Speaker 1: conspiracy theory, and maybe since we helm from the same area,

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Speaker 1: you would have heard it because you know culture and

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Speaker 1: geography and ship. So when I was a kid, like

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Speaker 1: many black kids, my mom told me that I had

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Speaker 1: to put on low put lotion on my skin so

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Speaker 1: that I wouldn't be ashy as early as I can

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Speaker 1: remember being alive, she had me lathered up in excess

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Speaker 1: cocoa butter like a goddamn Chippendale's employee. Anytime she'd catch

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Speaker 1: me with with grade out knuckles or dry knees, she'd

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Speaker 1: scold me about keeping lotion on my hands and legs,

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Speaker 1: and would actually tell me that if I ever got

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Speaker 1: into an accident, the doctor in the e er would

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Speaker 1: cut my clothes off and seem I naked Ashley body

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Speaker 1: and not even want to operate on me. Now, that's

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Speaker 1: some very ass nine shipped on both the part of

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Speaker 1: the mother imagining medical community that operates in her twisted

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Speaker 1: er fantasies. Despite that, the reality of every situation involving

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Speaker 1: niggas is that white's gonna white. So I wouldn't put

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Speaker 1: it past these pasty gangsters to refuse service to black

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Speaker 1: people based on a bit of skin fade. Thus, my

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Speaker 1: question to you is, does there exist any evidence of

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Speaker 1: white people, whether in practice of medicine or some other area,

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Speaker 1: of refusing service to black people based on ashyness alone?

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Speaker 1: So here is what I will say. In my experience,

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Speaker 1: I don't think and this sounds crazy, but if you

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Speaker 1: think about it, the other way, it's kind of reasonable.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if white people are paying enough attention

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Speaker 1: to know the black people are she or not? WHOA.

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Speaker 1: I think it's like in the same way that I

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Speaker 1: didn't really know what tan people look like until I

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Speaker 1: moved to California, Like I couldn't read, Like I'd hear

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Speaker 1: white people talk about it, and obviously you could tell

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Speaker 1: if they had like that nasty spray dan ship, but

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Speaker 1: I couldn't like look at a white person and be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you've been really getting some sun recently. Yeah, they do.

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Speaker 1: They do do that with each other in a way

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Speaker 1: that I don't feel as confident about that exactly. And

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Speaker 1: it's like it's like does she or are you just

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Speaker 1: saying that because it's like a compliment or something. No,

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Speaker 1: it's like they know with each other. It's the same

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Speaker 1: with I've noticed it because I've noticed it with white

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Speaker 1: people specifically when I was in high school, where they

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Speaker 1: couldn't tell if I had gotten a haircut not because

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Speaker 1: it's not like I didn't grow I never like I've

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Speaker 1: never had like an afrol or anything like that, but

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Speaker 1: it would be like I'd be kind of overgrown hairline

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Speaker 1: a little bushy and then I go get tightened up

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Speaker 1: and they would not. I've had that multiple times where

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Speaker 1: like people will be like, uh, They'll be like, man,

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Speaker 1: your haircut looks so good, and it was like, I

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Speaker 1: actually don't have a haircut. I I need to get

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Speaker 1: one desperately. I look like shit, now don't you look?

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Speaker 1: It was like really like goddamn monkey to me, I

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Speaker 1: don't know, monkey without a bath. Either way, you are

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Speaker 1: so well spoken, I think you look So that's that's

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Speaker 1: how I feel about it, because if you ever noticed

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Speaker 1: when a white person says anything about being ashy that

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Speaker 1: are like very proud that they know that. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's a big deal, you know what I mean, like

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Speaker 1: they love me, Like what go on? So yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I do think that what you're saying makes sense. I

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Speaker 1: don't think that they probably are tracking whether or not

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Speaker 1: a person is actually. What I will say though, is

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Speaker 1: that they may not be tracking it in a sort

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Speaker 1: of like one for one sense, but I do think

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Speaker 1: an actually nigga without a haircut does equate to them

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Speaker 1: as something more animalistic or less respect for whatever it is,

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Speaker 1: that that is the racist lingo living in their head,

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Speaker 1: which might cause them to treat that individual differently in

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Speaker 1: a space of professional whatever. I understand what you're saying,

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Speaker 1: but I do not think, once again, to the and

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Speaker 1: I think that's like the main one of the major

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Speaker 1: problems with racism or whatnot. I do not think they

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Speaker 1: are attentive enough to clock it in that way. We

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Speaker 1: I really like, on the whole, I really do not

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Speaker 1: believe that. I really don't believe that. Yeah, I like,

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Speaker 1: I understand, I think that black people are far more

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Speaker 1: attentive to that than than they would be. I I

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Speaker 1: think that's probably true. I we did an episode of

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Speaker 1: the podcast a while ago with Janelle James where we

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Speaker 1: talked about the possibility that black men are actually more

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Speaker 1: palatable for a public audience if they don't have a haircut.

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Speaker 1: That like it's like you think about like the famous

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Speaker 1: sort of like figureheads of of like black success, and

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Speaker 1: none of them motherfucker's have like a clean ass lineup.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what I'm saying, Alexanders, Yeah, exactly. Felt

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Speaker 1: he kept it was a soft line for all of

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Speaker 1: his presidency, and now that motherfucker be getting it cleaned

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Speaker 1: up tight, he's back on point. And so I think,

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Speaker 1: to your point, it's just I think they're or I

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Speaker 1: their sense of who we are is is so far

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Speaker 1: removed from what they see themselves as that that us clean, dirty, ashy,

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Speaker 1: lotioned is all maybe the same in their book, Like

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Speaker 1: I think if anything is especially specifically with the medical field,

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Speaker 1: and I know that there's there's books about this, there's

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Speaker 1: it's like a known thing. I know that the darker

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Speaker 1: you are, the higher they think your pain tolerance is,

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Speaker 1: and the less they're willing to like be they're kind

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Speaker 1: of they're a lot more harsh on darker skinned bodies,

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Speaker 1: And I know that, Like this sounds crazy, but I

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Speaker 1: know I felt that just go into the hospital before

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Speaker 1: or like trying to explain whatever amount of pain I'm

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Speaker 1: in and having it not seemingly not be received when

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Speaker 1: I've seen it, even with my little brothers who are

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Speaker 1: bi racial, I've seen how doctors treat them versus me

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Speaker 1: when I say I'm hurt and things like that. So

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Speaker 1: like I would argue that like skim tone wise, I

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Speaker 1: believe it, but I don't think as I don't think

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Speaker 1: Ashley is what is making them like, Yeah, I think

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Speaker 1: that is a very well proven sort of like study.

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Speaker 1: In fact, it's rooted in sort of a gynecological history,

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Speaker 1: if I'm understanding correctly or remembering correctly, that the the

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Speaker 1: sort of like godfather of gynecology was this this dude

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Speaker 1: who basically ran a bunch of experiments on black slave

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Speaker 1: women that like he would he would like basically take

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Speaker 1: these girls and test out his various pussy machines whatever

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Speaker 1: the fuck to try to get a sense of whether

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Speaker 1: or not he could do the work on good, god

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Speaker 1: fearing white women. But like, the reason he used black

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Speaker 1: women is because he figured or had decided they don't

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Speaker 1: experience pain. That like, black women truly don't even have

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Speaker 1: the same nerve in things that white women have, and

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Speaker 1: thus whatever he's doing to them is fine, It don't matter.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's an animal thing, right, Like we don't

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Speaker 1: we're we do all this stuff to animals because we

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Speaker 1: don't see them as us experienced in pain and all

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Speaker 1: that type of ship. You hear people talk about it

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Speaker 1: where they say, like fish don't experience pain, and it's like, yes,

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Speaker 1: the motherfucker's do. I don't think it feels good for

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Speaker 1: anybody to get caught with the hook, you know, not

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Speaker 1: just flopping around because he's cool. With what's happening, Like,

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Speaker 1: whatever makes you want to feel good, I personally lean

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Speaker 1: into it and fish because I know it's hurting them.

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Speaker 1: But that's my that's my own that's my own ship.

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Speaker 1: I'll punch a salmon in the mouth just to just

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Speaker 1: to feel something on my my My suck bass, red snapper,

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Speaker 1: blue snapper. All the snappers can get it. Uh. Here's

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Speaker 1: where I agree with our email. This is where I

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Speaker 1: think I tend to to sort of align. Pat is

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Speaker 1: talking about the the sort of denying of services, and

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Speaker 1: that for me feels like white people are always cooking

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Speaker 1: up an excuse, a reason to not provide either equal

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Speaker 1: or service at all. Right, that feels very logical and true.

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Speaker 1: And is it related to our ash nous. No, But

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Speaker 1: if a coworker nudged them and was like that nigga's actually,

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Speaker 1: they probably would would take that to heart and be like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna help him. Nick my niggas said that

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Speaker 1: niggas act, Yeah, exactly. I think I agree with that.

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Speaker 1: I agree with that completely, and I mean listen, because

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Speaker 1: I get it. I had a'm African mom. She I

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Speaker 1: put she put vassiline on my body. Oh that's not

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Speaker 1: good for you. No, she vacilting on my face, but

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Speaker 1: that's going outside to fight a woman? Was what is

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Speaker 1: vasoline formatically vasolene? Uh probably like greasing engines and then bugging.

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Speaker 1: It's not meant for human consuming things, though. I think

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Speaker 1: vasilene is used for as like fire retardant from from

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Speaker 1: for like people on sets, you know what I mean. Like,

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Speaker 1: I don't think it's technically a medical product. I think

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Speaker 1: we just decided to use it medically. It's the same

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Speaker 1: way that like uh Olivia saying used to keep wounds

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Speaker 1: moist for treatment. Yeah, there you go. It's not it's

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Speaker 1: not fucking good for for just rubbing in on a

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Speaker 1: daily basis. I was, I had on my face, my face,

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Speaker 1: I still got, I got greased in my face. Now

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Speaker 1: I had the same thing my mom would. My mom

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Speaker 1: would give me vasoline as my lotion, and I was

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Speaker 1: just ship. Newt Regina is another thing that like my

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Speaker 1: my mom was fully like, yeah, just go watch your

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Speaker 1: wash your face with the fucking that newt Regina cream.

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Speaker 1: And that's just creamed bleach. That's all it is, is

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Speaker 1: fucking It's like, this isn't good, y'all. No, we That's

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Speaker 1: how you know we're so resilient. Like my face skin ship,

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Speaker 1: my upper dermot should have been like eroded, right, ship

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Speaker 1: should have been like should have eaten through, but I

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Speaker 1: should still good. Now you look great. You should look

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Speaker 1: like to face, but you look like one face to me,

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Speaker 1: and it's a good face. Years old. I was around

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Speaker 1: for the Smothers brothers. Oh yeah, I remember when we

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Speaker 1: couldn't drive. I don't know the same thing. We've always

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Speaker 1: been able to drive, right. I think we've been allowed

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Speaker 1: to drive for longer because we they wanted us driving

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Speaker 1: for them. Yeah. I think as long as there was

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Speaker 1: a job that we could do, they'd be like, yeah.

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Speaker 1: It turns out Nicks are smart enough to do that.

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Speaker 1: I think, yeah, yeah, yeah. They can't read, but they

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Speaker 1: could take a parallel park. White people, you got a

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Speaker 1: lot to answer for here, buddy, You're you'res You're a

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Speaker 1: pretty problematic bunch. I'll just go ahead and say it. Well,

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Speaker 1: I hope this answers pat your email. I hope that

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Speaker 1: this this sort of covers it sounds like we don't.

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Speaker 1: We don't believe your mom when she worries that that

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Speaker 1: they're gonna cut you open. And not help you because

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Speaker 1: you're ashy. But we do believe that your mom's on

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Speaker 1: the right track for being skeptical of any any denial

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Speaker 1: of service from the White Devil. Beautiful. We did it,

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Speaker 1: We did it, Bory. Could you tell the people where

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Speaker 1: they can find you? What cool ship you have going on?

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Speaker 1: Cool guy jokes Sadi seven on Instagram. You can come

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Speaker 1: see me November time, headlining the Downtown Denver Comedy Works.

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Speaker 1: December three, I'm headlining the Crocodile and Seattle, Washington. December four,

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Speaker 1: I'm headlighting Helium Comedy Club in Portland, Oregon. Other than that,

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Speaker 1: check my socialism, I'm all around appreciate. Hell yeah, go

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Speaker 1: go see Bory live. He's so fucking funny. And uh,

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Speaker 1: you ain't if you ain't local to l A. I

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Speaker 1: ain't really doing that much on the road. Uh lately,

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Speaker 1: I'm sort of tired and uh figuring some ship out

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Speaker 1: but you know, falling out of love. Say hi, what's

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Speaker 1: up on Twitter? We've all been there. Sometimes the craft

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Speaker 1: doesn't feed you like you thought it would. Yeah, you know,

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Speaker 1: you just take some time off the road to not

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Speaker 1: sleep in residence in and and smell like cigarettes going

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Speaker 1: out for the evening Edge. Oh yeah, steating a lot

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Speaker 1: of stealing a lot of apples from the Continental. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because you woke up too late to actually have the

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Speaker 1: real breakfast. Yeah, we've all been there, but that's said.

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Speaker 1: You can follow me on Twitter and Instagram at Lengthston Kerman.

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Speaker 1: I'll be over there doing stuff on both and as always,

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Speaker 1: if you want to send us your own drops, your

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Speaker 1: own conspiracy theories, if you want to point out that

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Speaker 1: your mom put weird substances on your body as a

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Speaker 1: way of protecting you, you can. You can send all

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Speaker 1: of that to my mama pot at gmail dot com.

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Speaker 1: We would love to hear from you. That's it. That's all. Bye,

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Speaker 1: bitch king come, ain't got on me. Motherfucking many years,

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Speaker 1: so motherfucking many years, so, motherfucking many years, so many yepisode,

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Speaker 1: mother fucking mini ever sl