WEBVTT - BA Q&A: Chase Harmony, Not Balance. 0:00:06.080 --> 0:00:09.559 It's time for the b a qk A the b 0:00:09.680 --> 0:00:12.320 a q A, which is saying the b a q 0:00:12.400 --> 0:00:15.080 A with Tiffin A, the b a q A with Mandy, 0:00:15.240 --> 0:00:21.240 the b a qa A prohibition question and answer. You 0:00:21.280 --> 0:00:24.320 have questions, we have answers written reason because we're not 0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:26.920 your financial advisor, we're not your attorney, but we are 0:00:27.000 --> 0:00:28.639 your smart financial girlfriends. 0:00:28.720 --> 0:00:30.920 Okay, and the internet. 0:00:31.840 --> 0:00:33.760 Yeah, some smart ladies on the Internet. 0:00:33.880 --> 0:00:37.440 I'm excited because Mandra has an update for so maybe 0:00:37.479 --> 0:00:38.479 Manda paint. 0:00:38.280 --> 0:00:40.319 The scene for like it's an update for what. 0:00:41.120 --> 0:00:44.400 I love a good sequel. So if you guys have 0:00:44.440 --> 0:00:47.640 been following. A few weeks back, we got a question 0:00:48.479 --> 0:00:51.800 from a listener named Kevin. First of all, Kevin, shout 0:00:51.800 --> 0:00:54.200 out to you because you know, not our target audience, 0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:56.600 but we love you for listening. He had such an 0:00:56.640 --> 0:01:00.240 interesting question, he he He sent us a message saying 0:01:00.320 --> 0:01:03.840 basically that his wife was not going up for promotion 0:01:03.920 --> 0:01:07.040 at work and he was trying to encourage her to 0:01:07.040 --> 0:01:09.080 do so. He wanted her to be and this was 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:11.080 a kicker. He wanted her to be a good role 0:01:11.120 --> 0:01:14.720 model for their daughter and basically show their daughter that 0:01:14.760 --> 0:01:16.920 she could be a leader and I don't know Tip 0:01:16.920 --> 0:01:20.039 if you remember our responses, but I know the one 0:01:20.080 --> 0:01:22.039 thing I remember, and what Kevin has pointed out here 0:01:22.240 --> 0:01:26.040 in his follow up is I was like, way, way, way, Mint, Kevin, 0:01:26.120 --> 0:01:27.959 you think you know what's best for your wife. But 0:01:28.000 --> 0:01:30.319 your wife because she doesn't want to go for this promotion. 0:01:30.440 --> 0:01:32.880 It may not mean that she's not ambitious. It just 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:35.640 may mean that, like she has identified this as not 0:01:35.760 --> 0:01:38.400 the place you know, I want to be stepping up, 0:01:38.640 --> 0:01:42.959 like they may not support me, etc. What else about Kevin? 0:01:43.000 --> 0:01:45.360 So anyway, it's been weeks. That was one of our 0:01:45.360 --> 0:01:48.120 more popular, one of our most popular baq and a's ever, 0:01:48.280 --> 0:01:52.800 And we have been waiting Kevin for your bids with 0:01:52.960 --> 0:01:56.000 Vaden Breast. So let's get into it. He has, Oh, Kevin, 0:01:56.040 --> 0:01:58.480 all right, let me read this to you. Greetings ladies, 0:01:58.560 --> 0:02:01.720 I just want to say thank you for taking my question. First, 0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:04.040 let me thank you for pointing out how my words 0:02:04.080 --> 0:02:06.800 related to my wife setting an example for our daughter 0:02:06.880 --> 0:02:09.760 could be misconstrued. Let me say that my wife is 0:02:09.760 --> 0:02:12.840 an outstanding role model to our daughter. I was talking 0:02:12.840 --> 0:02:16.160 in terms of negotiating for higher wages and getting promoted. 0:02:16.560 --> 0:02:19.160 But I see how someone could read that differently, my 0:02:19.240 --> 0:02:22.160 wife loves our kids beyond measure, and that's the best 0:02:22.200 --> 0:02:25.919 possible example. Also, she's he's digging himself out of all 0:02:26.880 --> 0:02:30.200 She's gorgeous, kind forgiving a gift from God, and ten 0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:31.680 times smarter than me. 0:02:32.520 --> 0:02:33.400 That Sorry, it took. 0:02:33.280 --> 0:02:36.320 Someone for the update, but your advice opened up some 0:02:36.360 --> 0:02:39.239 really good dialogue. I have to admit I wrote my 0:02:39.360 --> 0:02:42.200 question hoping you would give me some tricks to convince 0:02:42.240 --> 0:02:45.000 my wife to just go for it. But what happened 0:02:45.240 --> 0:02:48.600 was the exact opposite. After listening to the podcast, it 0:02:48.720 --> 0:02:51.160 was as if everything my wife had been telling me 0:02:51.320 --> 0:02:55.240 shifted and my whole perspective changed. Through our conversation, I 0:02:55.280 --> 0:02:58.320 realized that the fear I thought I saw was just 0:02:58.440 --> 0:03:00.960 my wife not feeling she was in an environment that 0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:03.919 would nurture and support her. I wouldn't call her environment 0:03:04.000 --> 0:03:06.840 toxic because she likes her job and her coworkers. After 0:03:06.919 --> 0:03:10.000 re listening to her, I realized she doesn't feel like 0:03:10.040 --> 0:03:12.680 the current leadership at her job can provide enough support 0:03:12.680 --> 0:03:16.320 and guidance for someone stepping into a brand new leadership position. 0:03:16.800 --> 0:03:18.800 All right, Kevin, you're halfway out of the hole that 0:03:18.840 --> 0:03:21.040 you've dug. But it gets better. TIF Are you ready? 0:03:21.960 --> 0:03:25.000 Listening to the podcast, I realized that I was falling 0:03:25.000 --> 0:03:27.160 into that trap where I knew what was best for her, 0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:29.120 and like you said, she's one of those people who 0:03:29.160 --> 0:03:32.560 knows when to say enough. I am now focusing on 0:03:32.680 --> 0:03:36.160 just shutting up and listening and letting her tell me 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:39.960 what she wants, which honestly, she's been doing the whole time. 0:03:40.240 --> 0:03:42.080 When I took a minute to stop and think about it, 0:03:42.480 --> 0:03:44.880 I wrote into the podcast looking to help her, but 0:03:45.000 --> 0:03:47.960 all along I was the one who needed help. At 0:03:47.960 --> 0:03:49.680 this point, I don't believe that he's writing this, I 0:03:49.680 --> 0:03:54.960 think is why it's writing this point. Oh, I can't 0:03:55.040 --> 0:03:57.880 why because I just want all the husbands out there 0:03:57.920 --> 0:03:58.480 to just listen. 0:03:58.560 --> 0:03:58.960 Okay. 0:03:59.280 --> 0:04:01.800 I like to think of myself as supportive, but sometimes 0:04:01.800 --> 0:04:04.920 my ambition to be this power couple clouds my judgment. 0:04:05.400 --> 0:04:08.040 I have to start realizing that our power as a 0:04:08.080 --> 0:04:10.440 couple isn't tied up in our titles or how much 0:04:10.480 --> 0:04:12.240 money we make, but in the fact that we are 0:04:12.280 --> 0:04:16.040 a loving black couple that's been together for twenty five years, 0:04:16.360 --> 0:04:18.760 love it. We have raised three awesome children, and we 0:04:18.800 --> 0:04:21.000 love ours. We love each other now more than ever, 0:04:21.080 --> 0:04:23.560 thank you for the advice. I don't think this email 0:04:23.560 --> 0:04:26.960 can truly express how transformative your advice was. I'm a 0:04:26.960 --> 0:04:29.800 better husband now because of the advice you gave me. 0:04:29.920 --> 0:04:33.440 Your biggest fan, Kevin Kevin. 0:04:33.480 --> 0:04:35.880 First of all, Kevin's wife was standing over her shoulders 0:04:35.920 --> 0:04:38.400 say and say and write that, Yeah, the beautiful party, 0:04:38.440 --> 0:04:40.120 beautiful smarter than me. 0:04:45.600 --> 0:04:47.040 keV was like, like, let me reread it. 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:48.760 She said, you know, let me make some edits because 0:04:48.760 --> 0:04:51.719 you over here not really fully express it. First of all, Kevin, 0:04:52.240 --> 0:04:54.960 we stand a husband that wants to do and be better, 0:04:55.120 --> 0:04:57.200 So let's fee around arose for that. 0:04:57.480 --> 0:04:58.160 So that's awesome. 0:04:58.200 --> 0:05:00.440 The fact that you the fact is you you reached 0:05:00.480 --> 0:05:03.880 out to ask for help, but we're open when the 0:05:03.920 --> 0:05:06.880 feedback didn't align with what you expected, which speaks volumes 0:05:06.880 --> 0:05:07.920 about you and your character. 0:05:08.040 --> 0:05:11.560 So you know, your wife is not the only You 0:05:12.000 --> 0:05:12.320 are not. 0:05:12.279 --> 0:05:14.320 The only lucky one. You know, she is fortunate to 0:05:14.360 --> 0:05:16.400 have you as well. And I just love the fact 0:05:16.440 --> 0:05:19.240 that I suspected she was already telling you. But oftentimes 0:05:19.240 --> 0:05:22.200 we don't hear our significant other until someone else said 0:05:22.240 --> 0:05:23.000 something similar. 0:05:23.279 --> 0:05:23.960 So I love the. 0:05:23.920 --> 0:05:26.200 Fact that you were like, wait, she has said that 0:05:26.240 --> 0:05:28.600 and like, literally, Mandy, it's like what you said that 0:05:28.760 --> 0:05:30.719 she was like you were like, I mean, she sounds 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:33.760 ambitious and amazing. Maybe she just looking around and was like, 0:05:33.760 --> 0:05:35.919 oh no, you're not gonna have me up here looking 0:05:35.960 --> 0:05:39.040 like how you looking up here without support and free falling. 0:05:39.120 --> 0:05:40.000 No no, no, no no. 0:05:40.560 --> 0:05:42.960 So I love the fact that that's what it was, 0:05:43.920 --> 0:05:45.800 and that you figured out that's what it was, and 0:05:45.839 --> 0:05:48.440 so like, I'm just honestly, I'm just this is like 0:05:48.520 --> 0:05:50.839 my favorite baqa moment if I do say. 0:05:50.720 --> 0:05:52.680 So myself, and I I think. 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:56.679 I would join you in that. Yes, so warm and fuzzy. 0:05:56.760 --> 0:05:59.560 And this is why you've been married for twenty five years, Kevin. 0:05:59.600 --> 0:06:01.480 We were never worried for you twenty five years. This 0:06:01.520 --> 0:06:04.600 is how a man, This is how every couple should handle, 0:06:05.040 --> 0:06:08.400 you know. Maybe don't you know, send questions to podcasters. 0:06:08.480 --> 0:06:12.359 That's part of that fundamental you know process. But in 0:06:12.400 --> 0:06:14.960 this case, it worked out, and I'm so glad that 0:06:14.960 --> 0:06:17.680 it helped you better understand where your wife was coming from. 0:06:17.720 --> 0:06:19.160 And this is the thing. I don't think I would 0:06:19.160 --> 0:06:21.320 have been able to even think of this question and 0:06:21.400 --> 0:06:24.440 this response in this way had I not spent the 0:06:24.520 --> 0:06:27.960 past year talking to hundreds of black and brown women 0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:31.600 who are feeling just like your wife, and it opened 0:06:31.600 --> 0:06:35.719 my eyes up to this notion that oh, we're just 0:06:35.880 --> 0:06:38.240 not you know, we're not earning more because we're not 0:06:38.279 --> 0:06:40.920 ambitious enough. We're not going for the leadership roles because 0:06:41.520 --> 0:06:44.080 we don't think that, you know, we would be good enough, 0:06:44.160 --> 0:06:47.200 or we have imposter syndrome and all that bullshit, when 0:06:47.320 --> 0:06:50.039 really it's like, so what are the organizations doing to 0:06:50.120 --> 0:06:52.560 make us feel like we would succeed in that role? 0:06:52.640 --> 0:06:55.520 And like what supports and resources are they giving us 0:06:55.520 --> 0:06:59.400 so that we can thrive? So I'm just yes, big 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:03.320 fuzzy yes, over the moon with this response. I hope 0:07:03.320 --> 0:07:06.560 you guys just have a beautiful date night and laugh 0:07:06.600 --> 0:07:10.640 about this. Kevin, we're your biggest fans too, I would say, 0:07:10.840 --> 0:07:13.440 Oh and I forgot the ps ps. He says, Tiffany, 0:07:13.480 --> 0:07:16.280 I'm still putting your book on the prime spot at 0:07:16.320 --> 0:07:17.880 every bookstore I go to. 0:07:18.640 --> 0:07:22.320 Yeah, thank you, Okay, gegging with money, still out here 0:07:22.400 --> 0:07:24.240 doing this thing. And just like, we just want to 0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:26.600 shout out to Kevin's wife, who clearly reread this was 0:07:26.640 --> 0:07:29.280 like and again because you was reckless at first, were 0:07:29.320 --> 0:07:31.960 like Kev's wife. Girl, you got to stuff a good one. 0:07:32.000 --> 0:07:32.240 Girl. 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:34.600 You got him all the way together, Like Okay, I 0:07:34.640 --> 0:07:36.640 could just see him being like, I want to play 0:07:36.720 --> 0:07:38.240 with the ladies. Head said, I wonder if he played 0:07:38.240 --> 0:07:39.560 it for her. She was like, that's what I've been 0:07:39.560 --> 0:07:40.200 trying to tell. 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:41.480 You with love. 0:07:43.080 --> 0:07:44.960 So let's move on to some other people's lives that 0:07:45.000 --> 0:07:47.280 we need to be saving. You know that, Oh yes, 0:07:47.640 --> 0:07:48.400 because we are here. 0:07:48.480 --> 0:07:49.480 Just it. 0:07:50.920 --> 0:07:52.120 No pressure, no pressure. 0:07:53.160 --> 0:07:58.200 We've got a message from Casandra not their real name, 0:07:58.240 --> 0:08:02.280 but that's okay. We love Bake, Hi, Tiffany, and Mandy. First, 0:08:02.520 --> 0:08:04.280 can I just say how much I admire both of you. 0:08:04.520 --> 0:08:06.520 I grew up in a household where we live paycheck 0:08:06.560 --> 0:08:09.400 to paycheck and never talked about money, so your podcast 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:12.640 is bridging that gap. Thank you, you welcome girl. My 0:08:12.760 --> 0:08:16.520 question is about navigating the option between public and private 0:08:16.560 --> 0:08:20.160 work and pay. I'm a lawyer, okay, girl, smart, who 0:08:20.200 --> 0:08:24.240 recently graduated, and I am currently deciding between accepting a 0:08:24.320 --> 0:08:27.640 job in the public sector nonprofit or government or the 0:08:27.720 --> 0:08:31.600 private sector law firm. My heart isn't doing public interest law, 0:08:32.000 --> 0:08:35.040 but the salary gap is huge. If I went the 0:08:35.080 --> 0:08:37.920 public interest route, I would be making anywhere from fifty 0:08:38.160 --> 0:08:41.680 to sixty five thousand dollars. While at a law firm, 0:08:42.000 --> 0:08:45.360 I would make two hundred and fifteen thousand starting and 0:08:45.440 --> 0:08:49.400 be given oh wow, and be given an eighty thousand 0:08:49.480 --> 0:08:53.040 dollars bonus. I have interviewed at law firms and this 0:08:53.080 --> 0:08:55.200 is what they've offered. To top it off, I'm the 0:08:55.240 --> 0:08:58.880 sole breadwinner. Oh my husband is a recent immigrant and 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:00.960 a full time student, and I have a two year 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:03.720 old daughter. I won't say her name because I'm assuming 0:09:03.800 --> 0:09:06.200 that's saying her name. How do you suggest I approach 0:09:06.280 --> 0:09:08.280 this choice? I feel like doing what I love is 0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:10.400 completely out of the question because of the salary gap 0:09:10.679 --> 0:09:12.800 if I go the private route. How do I deal 0:09:12.800 --> 0:09:15.240 with the guild that comes from working for companies instead 0:09:15.280 --> 0:09:17.400 of doing the work for the greater good? 0:09:18.440 --> 0:09:19.440 What say you, Mandra? 0:09:20.200 --> 0:09:20.520 Oh? 0:09:20.559 --> 0:09:24.360 Well, Cassandra, I mean I, first of all, I feel 0:09:24.400 --> 0:09:29.120 like you're so not alone in this predicament and the 0:09:29.160 --> 0:09:30.719 thing that I want you to like what I can 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:33.280 tell that you're you're putting so much pressure on yourself, 0:09:33.320 --> 0:09:35.560 as if this is the only career choice you're ever 0:09:35.640 --> 0:09:38.920 going to make. You know, the facts are you can 0:09:38.960 --> 0:09:41.040 get a really nice salary, and you can still do 0:09:41.120 --> 0:09:43.920 good work working for a private firm. You can be 0:09:44.040 --> 0:09:46.200 choosy about which firm you do. You can choose a 0:09:46.280 --> 0:09:49.200 firm that gives you I've had coaching clients who've you know, 0:09:49.320 --> 0:09:51.480 had pro bono cases that they can take or the 0:09:51.520 --> 0:09:54.800 firm commits some percentage of their hours to pro bono work. 0:09:55.240 --> 0:09:58.040 Think about what you how much, how much you would 0:09:58.080 --> 0:10:01.160 be able to do with those additional resources for your family, 0:10:01.679 --> 0:10:04.160 and then also potentially you could maybe give away some 0:10:04.280 --> 0:10:08.959 of your knowledge yourself, like volunteering for a nonprofit or 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:12.000 volunteering for an organization or for people that you may 0:10:12.040 --> 0:10:14.560 want to help. You can still do that, you know. 0:10:14.800 --> 0:10:17.200 So I don't think you should feel guilty at all 0:10:17.720 --> 0:10:21.480 for accepting, of really accepting what you're worth. You know, 0:10:21.600 --> 0:10:26.280 from a private firm. You're a breadwinner. Everyone's circumstances are different, right, 0:10:26.640 --> 0:10:28.640 You're in a situation where you don't have all the 0:10:28.679 --> 0:10:30.480 options in the world to just take a job for 0:10:30.520 --> 0:10:33.400 the love of it. Like, you have a family to support, 0:10:33.720 --> 0:10:36.640 a husband who you said recently immigrated and maybe trying 0:10:36.679 --> 0:10:39.840 to establish his career, so like you can take on 0:10:39.880 --> 0:10:43.599 that role as breadwinner yeah, for now, and then you 0:10:43.640 --> 0:10:45.480 could do it for a few years, a couple of years, 0:10:45.480 --> 0:10:47.720 one year, whatever, and then if you decide to change 0:10:47.760 --> 0:10:50.360 and it's not right for you, make that change at 0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:53.160 that time, you know. So I feel like people just 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:56.400 put a lot of pressure on one choice, as if 0:10:56.400 --> 0:10:57.840 I'm going to make this choice and this is who 0:10:57.880 --> 0:10:59.560 I'm going to be the rest of my life, when 0:11:00.200 --> 0:11:02.160 that's not always the case. It's rarely the case. 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:04.800 And I'll say this, Cassandra, because I struggle with this. 0:11:04.840 --> 0:11:07.520 When I first started the Budgetnista, my intention was to 0:11:07.600 --> 0:11:10.760 make it a nonprofit organization because I wanted to be 0:11:10.800 --> 0:11:13.719 of service and I thought that's the best way I'm 0:11:13.720 --> 0:11:15.520 going to give, you know, I'll find some funding and 0:11:15.520 --> 0:11:19.400 to give my services a way for free. But it 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:22.480 just wasn't the right fit because for some reason, I 0:11:22.480 --> 0:11:24.080 had decided that if you're going to do good work, 0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:26.720 you have to be like a financial martyr, you know, 0:11:26.760 --> 0:11:28.360 and I had done that being a preschool teacher. I 0:11:28.360 --> 0:11:30.040 really didn't make much, but you know, it was just me. 0:11:30.480 --> 0:11:32.320 I didn't have children, I wasn't married when I was 0:11:32.320 --> 0:11:35.959 in my twenties, and so you know, I made less 0:11:36.000 --> 0:11:39.480 and I don't regret that, but I realized with the budget, Nissa, 0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:42.480 that you can do both. That it is a business 0:11:42.480 --> 0:11:46.440 that gives ways so much information for free. And then 0:11:46.720 --> 0:11:49.320 you know, we you know, I figured out ways to 0:11:49.360 --> 0:11:51.920 monetize in ways that are still in alignment with my integrity. 0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:56.160 So to Mandy's point, like there are organizations. 0:11:55.679 --> 0:11:57.880 That you could donate your time and energy to, like 0:11:57.920 --> 0:11:59.880 I know, for example, in Newark, there is a like 0:11:59.880 --> 0:12:02.400 a like a group of lawyers that, like you know, 0:12:02.440 --> 0:12:04.520 every Tuesday you can kind of go to some office 0:12:04.559 --> 0:12:06.679 and ask all these different questions of them and they 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:08.640 give that time away for free to the residents of 0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:10.640 newer you know. And so there are things you can 0:12:10.679 --> 0:12:14.280 still do that gives your time and with those financial funds, 0:12:14.720 --> 0:12:17.560 you are able to if your husband is an immigram, 0:12:17.880 --> 0:12:19.880 one thing I know for one thing for certain two 0:12:19.960 --> 0:12:23.840 things for sure, people who you know, immigrants give money 0:12:23.840 --> 0:12:26.520 back home, right, And so I look at my parents 0:12:26.520 --> 0:12:30.040 and how many people that they've helped while being here 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:33.520 and how we continue that legacy. And so you being 0:12:33.559 --> 0:12:35.960 married to your husband, it opens up I'm not sure 0:12:35.960 --> 0:12:38.720 what your background is, but it opens up your opportunity 0:12:38.760 --> 0:12:42.880 to also help family members you know, potentially financially because 0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:45.439 if you know, with that salary, which is incredible, plus 0:12:45.440 --> 0:12:48.079 that bonus, which is super incredible, I can imagine how 0:12:48.080 --> 0:12:49.920 hard you must have worked with a two year old. 0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:52.120 That means you were pregnant while you were in law school. 0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:57.120 Girl, you know you that's your Yeah, so girl, you're 0:12:57.200 --> 0:12:59.600 just you're rock starring it. You don't have to take 0:12:59.679 --> 0:13:02.360 less in order to prove that you care about people work. 0:13:02.480 --> 0:13:05.360 Walking with integrity is not about taking less. It's just 0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:07.199 about your day to day actions, and there are other 0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:11.600 ways to do that without without sacrificing your family's financial future. 0:13:11.679 --> 0:13:14.760 So congratulations, Cassago. We are proud of you over here 0:13:14.800 --> 0:13:17.920 at the ba of the QA and continue soaring. I 0:13:17.960 --> 0:13:20.040 have to see the decision is yours. But no, if 0:13:20.040 --> 0:13:21.800 you needed that permission, that's what she was asking for. 0:13:22.000 --> 0:13:22.320 Girl. 0:13:22.400 --> 0:13:26.280 Two brown girls were saying, get your money, honey, commissions up. 0:13:26.440 --> 0:13:30.679 Grunted, Yeah, Gunted. I love that those private firms need 0:13:30.720 --> 0:13:33.280 more women of color too. I just feel like, yes, 0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:35.040 when you find the right fit, you'll be making a 0:13:35.120 --> 0:13:37.360 huge impact no matter where you go. And I mean, 0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:39.680 this is just the privilege of not having This is 0:13:39.720 --> 0:13:42.120 the privilege that you can be building for your daughter 0:13:42.240 --> 0:13:44.120 to maybe one day make a choice for whatever she 0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:47.439 wants to do, just based on passion, because you're because you, 0:13:47.440 --> 0:13:50.840 you know, starting off this new generation of wealth building, 0:13:50.880 --> 0:13:53.080 like you're doing, like you've made that possible for her. 0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:55.880 That's what I feel like I'm doing every day. Just 0:13:55.920 --> 0:13:57.880 given Rio. Rio can just go be a poet. 0:13:58.559 --> 0:13:59.560 I love that baby. 0:13:59.800 --> 0:14:01.720 Just go be a go be an artist, whatever you 0:14:01.720 --> 0:14:06.040 want to be. Oh man, All right, well I should 0:14:06.040 --> 0:14:07.920 we take a quick break and we'll be right back 0:14:07.960 --> 0:14:10.920 with a really good question from somebod who wants to 0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:12.920 go by ag girl. I want to find out why. 0:14:13.400 --> 0:14:15.839 See y'all right back here with more of your ba 0:14:15.960 --> 0:14:20.320 q and a's l right, ba fan, we are back 0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:23.240 with your question. Did you catch how I said holy shirt, Tiffany? 0:14:23.280 --> 0:14:26.640 Because I almost died when I said holy shirt. This 0:14:26.680 --> 0:14:29.080 is when you know Rio is now responding to and 0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:30.640 repeating everything I say. 0:14:31.320 --> 0:14:33.520 I was like, Manna, you cuss a little, and you're. 0:14:33.320 --> 0:14:34.600 Like, no more. 0:14:36.240 --> 0:14:36.400 Now. 0:14:36.440 --> 0:14:38.520 The other day I used and I did not say 0:14:38.520 --> 0:14:41.760 holy shirt, and he repeated that all the way to daycare. 0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:44.360 O God, I said, oopsie. 0:14:45.120 --> 0:14:50.040 Anyway to our question, this comes from a listener who'd 0:14:50.040 --> 0:14:52.920 like to go by ag girl, she or he says, 0:14:53.000 --> 0:14:55.600 I am well she she says, I am a new 0:14:55.640 --> 0:14:58.240 graduate and I landed an amazing job in my field 0:14:58.280 --> 0:15:01.000 of my in the field of my dreams, with great benefits. 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:05.280 I'm wondering, how do you balance illustrating your oprah as 0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:08.680 a new employee while still having a good work life balance. 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:11.800 You all stress not to overwork yourself, but I feel 0:15:11.800 --> 0:15:13.760 like this is what I need to do to get noticed. 0:15:14.160 --> 0:15:17.320 Can you provide some advice on illustrating your oprah as 0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:21.720 a new graduate but not overworking ourselves to get noticed? 0:15:22.560 --> 0:15:25.080 Excellent question that girl first. 0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:26.360 For I guess so just for the fose of you 0:15:26.400 --> 0:15:28.200 who are listening who might not know what illustrating your 0:15:28.200 --> 0:15:30.360 oprah is. Honestly, it's just this term that I came 0:15:30.440 --> 0:15:33.560 up with where I was like, because when I first started, 0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:36.520 the budget needs to no one would like let me speak, 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:38.320 not even for free, let. 0:15:38.240 --> 0:15:38.880 Alone pay me. 0:15:39.520 --> 0:15:41.480 And I remember at first I was I used to 0:15:41.480 --> 0:15:43.360 just tell myself, oh, that's because they don't have the budget. 0:15:43.360 --> 0:15:44.160 They don't have money. 0:15:44.680 --> 0:15:48.120 And then one day someone who had told me no 0:15:48.360 --> 0:15:50.880 told someone else yes, like they told me no for 0:15:50.960 --> 0:15:53.200 the free thing and paid them like two hundred dollars 0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:56.680 and I was like, what the hell? And I realized, like, 0:15:56.720 --> 0:15:58.520 they do have the money, They're just not giving it 0:15:58.560 --> 0:16:03.800 to me. Hey why, as I thought, and I remember 0:16:03.840 --> 0:16:06.640 distinctly thinking, I bet if I was Oprah, they would 0:16:06.640 --> 0:16:09.240 pay me. And then something in me it was like, yeah, 0:16:09.760 --> 0:16:12.280 if you were Oprah, they would pay you because Oprah 0:16:12.320 --> 0:16:15.640 clearly illustrates her value. And I was like, oh, it 0:16:15.680 --> 0:16:18.600 was a read for filth internally, so I realized that, like, 0:16:19.160 --> 0:16:24.960 somehow I have to showcase my value so undeniably that 0:16:25.040 --> 0:16:27.359 they pay me as quickly like they would pay Oprah, 0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:29.240 you know, And still to this day, I still work 0:16:29.240 --> 0:16:30.480 on that. So just so you guys know, that's where 0:16:30.480 --> 0:16:34.040 illustrating your Oprah comes from. Okay, So, at girl, you 0:16:34.120 --> 0:16:38.120 are right in that there are not all time is 0:16:38.160 --> 0:16:41.880 created equally, right, So there are going to be times 0:16:41.880 --> 0:16:44.240 when you're going to be working more than others and 0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:45.200 leading in more to others. 0:16:45.240 --> 0:16:46.360 I don't believe in balance. 0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:50.640 I believe in what I call harmony, So balance all 0:16:50.680 --> 0:16:53.600 things at equal measure. Same, you know, like alone time 0:16:53.640 --> 0:16:55.880 at home, you know, time with their girls is the 0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:58.080 same time with your partner time at work. Now, ain't 0:16:58.080 --> 0:17:00.000 no such thing as balance to keep all of those 0:17:00.120 --> 0:17:01.160 things equally weighted. 0:17:01.440 --> 0:17:02.520 Instead, there's harmony. 0:17:02.600 --> 0:17:05.040 You ever listened to a song, Sometimes the pranos are 0:17:05.240 --> 0:17:06.560 the sopranos are dominating. 0:17:06.960 --> 0:17:07.840 They're a little louder. 0:17:07.840 --> 0:17:10.560 So sometimes work is a little louder, and sometimes here 0:17:10.560 --> 0:17:11.480 comes the baritones. 0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:12.120 They dominate. 0:17:12.240 --> 0:17:14.919 And so maybe that's like, you know, partner time, Like 0:17:14.960 --> 0:17:17.879 that's what's dominant this weekend, and so it is okay 0:17:17.920 --> 0:17:20.840 to fluctuate in and out of. Like you know, it's 0:17:20.840 --> 0:17:23.360 like when you first start a business, same thing, you're 0:17:23.359 --> 0:17:25.400 going to have to lean in and work harder than 0:17:25.560 --> 0:17:27.800 what I'm doing now. Like I don't work nearly as 0:17:27.840 --> 0:17:30.920 hard from when I first started the budget easte, but 0:17:30.960 --> 0:17:34.320 when I launched something new, I knew, I know that 0:17:34.400 --> 0:17:36.520 it's going to require more of me than when I'm 0:17:36.520 --> 0:17:40.480 already coasting through doing that thing for a number of years. 0:17:40.720 --> 0:17:42.520 So I don't want you to think that you're not 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:45.679 supposed to work hard, But overwork just means if you 0:17:45.920 --> 0:17:49.840 are exhausted and spent and you're just like sick of it, 0:17:49.920 --> 0:17:51.600 then you know you have pushed yourself too hard. The 0:17:51.600 --> 0:17:53.680 sopranos are doing too much. They need to sit down 0:17:53.720 --> 0:17:56.800 and let the altos sing a little song. 0:17:57.000 --> 0:17:57.720 You know what I mean. 0:17:57.880 --> 0:18:00.359 And so that's what it looks like. I'll give you 0:18:00.359 --> 0:18:02.200 an example of someone on my team who's done them. 0:18:02.720 --> 0:18:04.640 Her name is Logan. Shout to Logan. She's amazing. 0:18:05.160 --> 0:18:08.320 So when Logan first came to me, Logan was the 0:18:09.200 --> 0:18:11.760 She worked in customer support on the literature Academy side 0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:14.720 of my business, so that's my online school, and Logan 0:18:15.240 --> 0:18:17.680 was in customer support, you know, just literally making a 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:21.040 few bucks an hour. She was so good and she 0:18:21.160 --> 0:18:23.720 created like a system for us to answer customer support 0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:28.000 more succinctly that I made her the customer support manager, 0:18:29.320 --> 0:18:29.560 you know. 0:18:29.840 --> 0:18:31.560