1 00:00:01,360 --> 00:00:03,560 Speaker 1: All right, it is time for the Strawberry Letter. And 2 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:05,440 Speaker 1: before we get to that, I want to remind you 3 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:09,320 Speaker 1: that my Love Collection candles are out. They are available 4 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:13,520 Speaker 1: right now at love Shirley Strawberry dot com. Love Shirley 5 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:16,560 Speaker 1: Strawberry dot com. Go on the site and get you 6 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:19,880 Speaker 1: some candles and be lit in your life. Okay, how 7 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 1: about that anyway? Okay, be lit. That's way to put it. There, 8 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:32,159 Speaker 1: got a little look to it, nerve, be lit? All right. 9 00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:38,479 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter forward today. Um. If you need advice on relationships, 10 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:42,120 Speaker 1: on dating, on work, on sex, on parenting, and more, 11 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM dot 12 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:49,280 Speaker 1: com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading 13 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,960 Speaker 1: your letter live on the air, just like we're gonna 14 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,360 Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now. Hear that you 15 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:57,640 Speaker 1: never know it could be yours. Buckle up and hold 16 00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 1: on tight. We got it, Paul, you here it is 17 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 1: the straw very love all right, Thank you, nephew. Subject 18 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:08,000 Speaker 1: he's never in the mood. Dear Stephen Shirley. My husband 19 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 1: and I are twenty seven years old and newly married. 20 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:15,320 Speaker 1: We've been together for a total of seven years, and 21 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 1: we waited until we got married to have sex. I 22 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:21,560 Speaker 1: should have seen that as a red flag, but I didn't. 23 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,880 Speaker 1: We are die hard Christians, so I thought he was 24 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:28,360 Speaker 1: just being obedient. He never pressured me for sex, and 25 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,319 Speaker 1: there were nights I thought I was going to lose 26 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:34,000 Speaker 1: my mind because I wanted him so badly. He's got 27 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,759 Speaker 1: the total package and knows what to do with it. 28 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:40,160 Speaker 1: I was pleasantly surprised on my wedding night, and I 29 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:43,479 Speaker 1: fell more in love with him after our first intimate connection. 30 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:47,039 Speaker 1: I want to keep connecting now, but he's never in 31 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:50,480 Speaker 1: the mood. When I met him, he said sex has 32 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 1: never been a major thing to him. I told him 33 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: it was everything to me if I loved someone. Granted 34 00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:59,720 Speaker 1: I was only twenty years old at the time, but 35 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:02,600 Speaker 1: I been having sex since high school and I really 36 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:06,720 Speaker 1: really like it. I waited seven years for him, and 37 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:10,519 Speaker 1: nowadays I have to co arthe him into being intimate. 38 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:13,600 Speaker 1: He'll take a shower, put on pajamas, and curl up 39 00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:16,840 Speaker 1: next to me in bed, wanting to talk about his day. 40 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:19,920 Speaker 1: He said that's what his parents did and they have 41 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:23,480 Speaker 1: a perfect marriage. He got upset when I told him that, 42 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:26,080 Speaker 1: I'm sure they're doing more than reading books and chatting 43 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:28,960 Speaker 1: in their bed. I can be naked and oiled up 44 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 1: when he comes home from work, and he'll kiss me 45 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:33,560 Speaker 1: on the forehead, pat me on the butt, and say 46 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:37,400 Speaker 1: something stupid like you're gonna get grease all over the couch. 47 00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 1: I wondered if he isn't sexually attracted to me, but 48 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:46,280 Speaker 1: he assured me that he is. He's insisting there's no 49 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:49,079 Speaker 1: problem and I need to calm myself and focus on 50 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:52,280 Speaker 1: other things. I'm not trying to focus on any other man, 51 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 1: and I am being patient. Am I wrong to want 52 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:59,520 Speaker 1: to make love to my husband? Come on, absolutely not. 53 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:03,000 Speaker 1: You're not wrong for desiring something that should be very 54 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 1: natural in a marriage. I mean marriage is hard with sex, 55 00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:10,919 Speaker 1: so marriage with no sex or hardly any sex ever, 56 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:15,240 Speaker 1: has to be extremely challenging for you. The question is, though, 57 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 1: why not? Why doesn't he want to have sex, especially 58 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 1: when he said he is attracted to you? Could that 59 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,639 Speaker 1: be a lie? I don't know. I mean he's not 60 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:28,359 Speaker 1: doing it, He's not acting on what he says, so 61 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,160 Speaker 1: I mean some people do have low sex drives just 62 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 1: like others have high sex drives. Some people are sexual 63 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:38,280 Speaker 1: sex addicts. There's treatment for sexual addiction. So I say, 64 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 1: you guys need to find out about his low sex drive. 65 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:43,800 Speaker 1: I'm not a doctor or anything like that, but I'm 66 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:48,840 Speaker 1: sure someone can tell you if there's something wrong with 67 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:53,480 Speaker 1: him medically. The issue is probably going to be, you know, 68 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 1: to get him to go to the doctor, because from 69 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,680 Speaker 1: the sound of it, he doesn't think there's a problem. 70 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,160 Speaker 1: I mean, didn't you say you he told you to 71 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 1: calm down and focus on other things. That was jry, 72 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,800 Speaker 1: just very dismissive. You know, what other things are you 73 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 1: supposed to focus on when you want to have sex 74 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:13,960 Speaker 1: with your husband. I mean, he's not hearing you at 75 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:16,440 Speaker 1: this point. He's not taking the time to deal with 76 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:21,200 Speaker 1: the very basic needs of his wife. This is no 77 00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:23,280 Speaker 1: way to start a marriage. And I'm sure you know 78 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:26,080 Speaker 1: that this is something that we shouldn't even have to 79 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,800 Speaker 1: be talking about right now because you guys are newly 80 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:31,840 Speaker 1: weds and you're only twenty seven, you've been together for 81 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 1: seven years. You should be all over each other by now. 82 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 1: You waited until marriage to have sex. I mean, I 83 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,280 Speaker 1: just think it's time for some very serious heart to 84 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:45,080 Speaker 1: heart conversations, a trip to the doctor or you know, 85 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:46,880 Speaker 1: and find out what the issue is or I think 86 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:51,760 Speaker 1: you guys are going to be divorced. Steve Twittiest seven 87 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:57,480 Speaker 1: years old. I'm looking back thirty eight years ago. I 88 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:03,640 Speaker 1: was twenty seven years old, embarked on my now famous 89 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:10,400 Speaker 1: and illustrious comedic career at the age of twenty seven. 90 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:19,640 Speaker 1: As our peer back into those years of youth and levity, 91 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:26,280 Speaker 1: I cannot think of anything more important to me than 92 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:34,840 Speaker 1: having sex. It's not come on today at sixty five 93 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:44,719 Speaker 1: the burning yearing consistent desire that it was then, simply 94 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:51,640 Speaker 1: because I have to make money. Now I have businesses 95 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:59,920 Speaker 1: to run. I'm trying to be impactful instead of just pactful. 96 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:09,479 Speaker 1: It was my job solely focused on packing, okay, but 97 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 1: now I'm focused on being impactful. But packing has always 98 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:24,080 Speaker 1: been important, and I ain't talking about lunches either. When 99 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:33,159 Speaker 1: I come back, we'll continue in this same thank you sir. 100 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,480 Speaker 1: I don't know what to say. He sounds like a preacher, 101 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:42,640 Speaker 1: but he's talking about packing. I don't know, it's just crazy. Right, 102 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:45,560 Speaker 1: we'll have part two if Steve's response coming up at 103 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:49,520 Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour today Strawberry letters subject 104 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:51,960 Speaker 1: is he's never in the mood. We'll get back into 105 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:57,200 Speaker 1: it right after this. You're listening to show all right, 106 00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:13,400 Speaker 1: come on, Steve whatever, Come on and organ twenty seven 107 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:19,360 Speaker 1: years old. Both you and the hoosp brand new married, 108 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:26,920 Speaker 1: been together seven years, waited until we gotting married to 109 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:33,640 Speaker 1: have six How did you do that? That's a minor 110 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:39,800 Speaker 1: miracle statement right now. Most people can't wait till Friday. 111 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:47,680 Speaker 1: You managed until you got married. A man, I couldn't 112 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:52,800 Speaker 1: have waited on the weekend. I couldn't have waited till tomorrow. 113 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:59,520 Speaker 1: Most time, I could hardly wait at all. Somehow, you 114 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:05,880 Speaker 1: man is to wait till you were married. I should 115 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:09,640 Speaker 1: have seen that as a red flag. How to saw 116 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:14,200 Speaker 1: it as a blue flag, black flag, white flag on flag? 117 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:20,600 Speaker 1: How to saw it as all council flags. We are 118 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:29,400 Speaker 1: die hard Christians? That's right. You gonna die hard too. Yeah, 119 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:33,880 Speaker 1: you keep this up, You're not only gonna be die 120 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:40,720 Speaker 1: hard Christians, but you're gonna die hard too. You're leading 121 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 1: up to a hard death. If you ask me, every 122 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:49,880 Speaker 1: day that we live with one step closer to our 123 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:55,040 Speaker 1: final destination. But along the way, I want to create memories. 124 00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:58,920 Speaker 1: I want to have things to look back on. I 125 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:03,920 Speaker 1: need few up to continue the journey. I need to 126 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:09,080 Speaker 1: be a tesla. I need to get plugged in. I'm 127 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:15,880 Speaker 1: a refrigerator that need electricity to be cool. And now 128 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,360 Speaker 1: you say he's got the total package and he know 129 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:22,079 Speaker 1: what to do. You say you were surprised on your 130 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,960 Speaker 1: wed To night and you fail more in love with 131 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:30,520 Speaker 1: him after our first intimate connection. And she says she 132 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:35,839 Speaker 1: wants the connection now, but he's never in the mood. 133 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:41,359 Speaker 1: Listen to this scripture right here. When I met him, 134 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:46,719 Speaker 1: he said, sex has never been a major thing to him. 135 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:57,920 Speaker 1: What who is he? And what is he? To you? 136 00:09:57,559 --> 00:10:03,760 Speaker 1: A time? Now take it. My friends feel as there 137 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:08,600 Speaker 1: are pointed duty. They keep trying to tell me all 138 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:11,600 Speaker 1: you want to do is use me. But I can't 139 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:15,040 Speaker 1: seem to get him in the mood. What is going on? 140 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:21,360 Speaker 1: The hell in hell? I told him it was everything 141 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:28,079 Speaker 1: to me as it was with I. Sex was everything, 142 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:35,520 Speaker 1: the only thing, A matter of fact, it was the 143 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 1: leading thing. I considered it my thing. Oh lord, I'm 144 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:52,760 Speaker 1: preaching now. You waited seven years, really, and now you 145 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:58,320 Speaker 1: got to core urge him into being intimate. She goes 146 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:02,840 Speaker 1: on to say, he'll take a shower, put on pajamas 147 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:07,800 Speaker 1: and curled up next to me. In bed. Why would 148 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:13,680 Speaker 1: I already be naked, come out the shower and put 149 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:17,880 Speaker 1: on some hot ass pajamas. Why would I do that 150 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:23,760 Speaker 1: when the whole goal is to get naked. I'm never 151 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:28,240 Speaker 1: in mind, tyle, love making career. Come out the shower naked, 152 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,040 Speaker 1: knowing you in now, and I put on some hot 153 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:35,880 Speaker 1: ass pajamas for what? Saying that he wants to talk 154 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:39,319 Speaker 1: about his day, I'm going to wrap up my day. 155 00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:42,800 Speaker 1: I'm going to put my day in a box and 156 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:47,040 Speaker 1: put a ribbon on it. He said that's what his 157 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:52,160 Speaker 1: parents did and they got a perfect marriage. I'm twenty seven. 158 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 1: I got to brain heat fried bacon. I got to 159 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,040 Speaker 1: let you have it because I got it to give 160 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:01,440 Speaker 1: it to you. It's just sad. I want to total 161 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:09,080 Speaker 1: package you finning, get the whole package. Yeah, I'm sure 162 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:13,000 Speaker 1: they did more than reading books. And nah, here we go. 163 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,680 Speaker 1: I can be neked and all up. When he come 164 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:18,320 Speaker 1: home from work, he'll kiss me on the forehead, pat 165 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:21,079 Speaker 1: me on the butt and say something stupid like you're 166 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:24,600 Speaker 1: gonna get grease all over the couch. Let me correct 167 00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:27,800 Speaker 1: that statement. You're gonna get me and this grease all 168 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:32,320 Speaker 1: over this here couch. Damn to take your clothes off 169 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,400 Speaker 1: and grease up in front of me. I'll tell you what, 170 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:38,439 Speaker 1: You're gonna need more grease, because I'm finna get all 171 00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:44,640 Speaker 1: of y'all grease on me. All right? Why are we 172 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:49,880 Speaker 1: trying to address this letter? I don't know those of 173 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:54,480 Speaker 1: this church is now open. Bring your greasy self on 174 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:57,720 Speaker 1: up to the post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter. 175 00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:01,240 Speaker 1: It's Steve HARVEFM on Instagram, Faithbook. Check out the Strawberry 176 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,080 Speaker 1: Letter podcast on demand coming up at forty six minutes 177 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:08,040 Speaker 1: after Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening 178 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:10,120 Speaker 1: to the Dame Harvey Morning Show