WEBVTT - It Takes Guts & Balls with Beth Stelling 0:00:00.840 --> 0:00:04.480 Okay, well, hello Catherine, Hi Chelsea, how are you. I'm 0:00:04.519 --> 0:00:07.520 pretty good. I spent the weekend last weekend with my 0:00:07.640 --> 0:00:11.000 parents who were passing through Californian. My husband and I 0:00:11.080 --> 0:00:14.080 went up and stayed with them in Newhole Ranch near 0:00:14.120 --> 0:00:17.360 Santa Clarita, which was all cowboy themed. My dad, as 0:00:17.400 --> 0:00:21.239 you know, it was a big cowboy. Um. Yeah, the 0:00:21.239 --> 0:00:24.279 whole the whole town was like cowboy themed. It was 0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:27.600 very fun. I mean, if you want to see cowboys, 0:00:27.600 --> 0:00:30.920 can't you just watch Yellowstone? Yeah? You know what, I 0:00:30.960 --> 0:00:32.400 just need to do it. I do need to buite 0:00:32.400 --> 0:00:35.879 the bullet and watch Yellowstone. Yeah yeah, Yellowstone is is 0:00:36.200 --> 0:00:39.000 where all the cowboys are at. People in Whistler love 0:00:39.360 --> 0:00:43.519 Yellowstone and my girlfriend Wendy Grilloh well sorry, Wendy monies 0:00:43.720 --> 0:00:47.440 as on the show Yellowstone, and so I am legally 0:00:47.479 --> 0:00:51.000 obligated to watch that out of friendship. So but she's 0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:53.440 so good in it, and the show just got nominated 0:00:53.479 --> 0:00:56.160 for a bunch of like awards, SAG Awards. So yeah, 0:00:56.320 --> 0:00:58.760 really no reason not to watch a Catherine at this point. Okay, 0:00:59.200 --> 0:01:02.000 after I brought it up, I've been home for a 0:01:02.000 --> 0:01:04.920 week from Whistler or two weeks. I'm a little break 0:01:04.920 --> 0:01:06.880 because I had some business to tend to in the 0:01:07.040 --> 0:01:09.840 l A area, and it was very hard for me 0:01:09.880 --> 0:01:12.720 to leave Whistler. I'm not gonna lie. My only incentivization 0:01:13.319 --> 0:01:16.360 really was seeing Burton Bernice and coming home to them 0:01:16.480 --> 0:01:18.440 and making sure that they still know who I am, 0:01:18.520 --> 0:01:21.680 which they do, and they're actually really really cute and 0:01:21.680 --> 0:01:24.760 they really love Joe now, so it's really sweet. Like 0:01:24.800 --> 0:01:27.280 Bernice is is a little bit of a huja, you know, 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:30.160 she only likes men. She doesn't support she does not 0:01:30.240 --> 0:01:33.240 support other women. She is not a champion of women. 0:01:33.800 --> 0:01:37.440 And she started following him around. And then I said, but, 0:01:37.600 --> 0:01:40.399 I said bert, I said, it's confusing because I call 0:01:40.480 --> 0:01:43.080 them all Buddha. I called Joe Buddha. I don't think 0:01:43.120 --> 0:01:45.640 I love that is squeezable is a Buddha? Where does 0:01:45.680 --> 0:01:48.600 that come from? Just like bud I don't know. Like 0:01:48.800 --> 0:01:51.560 I call my dogs Buddhas. I call my nieces and nephews, 0:01:51.600 --> 0:01:54.680 you know, and I'm like pinching their bodies, well I 0:01:54.720 --> 0:01:57.240 do a little bit more than their cheeks. But I 0:01:57.320 --> 0:01:59.280 call everything that I love Buddha's. So I don't know 0:01:59.320 --> 0:02:01.440 where that comes. I'm sure it makes Joe feel very 0:02:01.480 --> 0:02:04.600 special that he's not the only one called that. But anyway, 0:02:04.640 --> 0:02:06.800 Bernice has taken to Joe and she followed us in 0:02:06.840 --> 0:02:08.600 the room and I told Joe that Birt had to 0:02:08.600 --> 0:02:12.360 sleep in the bed with us because that's yeah. And 0:02:12.400 --> 0:02:14.120 he said, I said, does that do you like when 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:16.640 Bert sleeps in the bed with us? And he said, well, 0:02:17.280 --> 0:02:19.120 I like whatever you like. And I was like, you 0:02:19.120 --> 0:02:23.800 know what, Joe, every answer is the right answer with him, 0:02:24.280 --> 0:02:26.400 he really does. I really am going to write a 0:02:26.400 --> 0:02:28.880 handbook for men, because he just says. The other day 0:02:28.919 --> 0:02:31.359 I was I was doing a zoom for like two hours, 0:02:31.480 --> 0:02:33.400 and you know that's a little bit much for me. 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:36.520 Two hours straight. I was like, whoa, And I just 0:02:36.560 --> 0:02:39.200 needed my Canada Dry, like my diet. Canada Dry is 0:02:39.240 --> 0:02:43.480 my like elixir for everything. And he I was thinking 0:02:43.480 --> 0:02:45.000 about I was sitting at the table and was so 0:02:45.120 --> 0:02:46.560 and I was like, oh God, I want that. I 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:48.240 when can I get a break to get up and 0:02:48.240 --> 0:02:51.160 get that an addict? And then he I am, I'm addicted, 0:02:51.320 --> 0:02:54.200 And he all of a sudden just came upstairs, walked 0:02:54.280 --> 0:02:56.360 right to the fridge, took out in ginger ale and 0:02:56.400 --> 0:02:57.960 put it in front of me, and I was like, 0:02:58.000 --> 0:03:01.320 oh my god, you're my ginger ale all mate. He's 0:03:01.360 --> 0:03:03.639 just like, fully read your mind. He does it all 0:03:03.680 --> 0:03:06.520 the time. He does yesterday. He goes, I I was. 0:03:06.639 --> 0:03:08.600 I kept putting my lip bomb down and he kept 0:03:08.600 --> 0:03:10.320 picking it up, you know, because he always wants to 0:03:10.320 --> 0:03:11.919 have my lip bomb for me, which is so sweet 0:03:11.919 --> 0:03:14.519 because I'm also addicted to lip Bomb Canada Dry and 0:03:14.560 --> 0:03:19.440 lip Bomb, and I'm an elderly woman. There are worse things. 0:03:19.520 --> 0:03:21.920 And he was like, oh, and then I had my 0:03:21.960 --> 0:03:23.519 purse and I went to grab my purse. He goes, 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:25.640 I am not going to tell you this again. You 0:03:25.680 --> 0:03:28.320 are not ever carrying anything in my presence. And I 0:03:28.400 --> 0:03:31.720 was like, honey, you are just too much. He's a hero. 0:03:32.120 --> 0:03:34.960 Even my own purse he refuses to let me carry. 0:03:35.280 --> 0:03:39.000 It's so cute. I like, how many women in America 0:03:39.120 --> 0:03:41.880 are now in love with jokoy Oh? I think so, 0:03:41.960 --> 0:03:43.880 I think so yeah. I got a lot of a 0:03:43.920 --> 0:03:45.960 lot of d m s about it. It's really cute. 0:03:46.200 --> 0:03:49.400 He's so lovable, Like I'm so in yeah, I'm so 0:03:49.440 --> 0:03:51.280 into him, And it was nice. We just did a 0:03:51.280 --> 0:03:54.320 show in Seattle. He was performing at that Sonics where 0:03:54.360 --> 0:03:57.000 the Sonics used to play. It's called the Climate Pledge Arena, 0:03:57.080 --> 0:03:58.600 but it was used to be called something else. And 0:03:58.640 --> 0:04:00.800 he saw Eddie Murphy there when he was fifteen years 0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:04.160 old and sat in like row fifteen, and so he 0:04:04.240 --> 0:04:06.480 was able to have like that full circle moment. And 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:11.600 he sold out fourteen thousand tickets, four hundred actually in 0:04:11.680 --> 0:04:14.080 this arena. And I got on stage as like a 0:04:14.120 --> 0:04:16.680 surprise guest, and then he got on stage and it 0:04:16.720 --> 0:04:20.279 was like the most incredible thing to see. It was emotional, 0:04:20.560 --> 0:04:22.720 it was amazing. The guys from Boys two Men came 0:04:22.760 --> 0:04:25.640 out and sang with him at the end. It was 0:04:25.760 --> 0:04:28.160 just so cool. And he got really choked up during 0:04:28.160 --> 0:04:31.080 his performance because I'm looking at just that is such 0:04:31.120 --> 0:04:33.200 an insane amount of people to do stand up to 0:04:33.800 --> 0:04:37.320 tell me this. I'm curious. Is there like a different 0:04:37.440 --> 0:04:39.960 kind of comedy that you feel like plays to those 0:04:40.000 --> 0:04:44.560 like massive arenas versus like more intimate venues or is 0:04:44.600 --> 0:04:46.520 it just sort of like what you can sell out, 0:04:46.520 --> 0:04:48.880 you can sell out. Yeah, No, I do think I 0:04:48.920 --> 0:04:50.760 thought that because I was I was going up. I 0:04:50.800 --> 0:04:53.000 was like, fuck, I gotta buck up. I'm like fourteen 0:04:53.040 --> 0:04:55.839 thousand people, this is a line, and then I was like, 0:04:55.880 --> 0:04:57.679 all right, you know, and I was like, this doesn't 0:04:57.720 --> 0:04:59.920 really play, Like what jokes do you tell? Because you're 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:02.800 us not convinced that that amount of people are going 0:05:02.839 --> 0:05:05.120 to be able to hear everything you're saying, even though 0:05:05.240 --> 0:05:09.240 it's acoustically set up for them to hear you. So 0:05:09.520 --> 0:05:11.400 it does play. It did work, And I said that 0:05:11.440 --> 0:05:13.120 to him. I go, you know, I've always thought that 0:05:13.120 --> 0:05:14.880 there was too many people for stand up, like it 0:05:14.920 --> 0:05:18.839 doesn't provide the intimacy that stand up needs. But yeah, 0:05:18.880 --> 0:05:21.080 I think some comics wouldn't play, and that kind of 0:05:21.120 --> 0:05:24.799 big of a thing because there are different types of comics. 0:05:24.839 --> 0:05:28.320 But it was great and he certainly count and I 0:05:28.400 --> 0:05:30.840 actually was like, oh, I like this too. I didn't 0:05:30.839 --> 0:05:32.760 think I would. I thought it would be too big. 0:05:33.000 --> 0:05:35.360 He's so easy to be happy for, and it's it's 0:05:35.400 --> 0:05:37.800 so easy to root for, you know, he's just like 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:42.200 kind and wonderful, like when it's actually funny. When he 0:05:42.200 --> 0:05:44.640 helped us out the other week setting up and he 0:05:44.760 --> 0:05:47.680 was our he was our producer for the day. Honestly, 0:05:47.839 --> 0:05:52.120 that was the smoothest it's ever gone. I know, you 0:05:52.120 --> 0:05:54.040 know what I was saying, I was talking to someone 0:05:54.080 --> 0:05:56.920 about it, and I was like, the thing I love 0:05:56.960 --> 0:05:59.600 about him so much is that he's so engaged with 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:02.799 every single person he speaks to, and that he pays 0:06:02.839 --> 0:06:05.040 attention to everyone. It doesn't matter if it's a kid 0:06:05.160 --> 0:06:09.599 or a relative or a stranger. He's always interested and 0:06:09.680 --> 0:06:13.600 engaged and like present, and I'm always so like, I 0:06:13.640 --> 0:06:16.400 love that sexy. Where do you think that comes from 0:06:16.440 --> 0:06:18.919 for him? Is that upbringing? Is that just he's just 0:06:19.000 --> 0:06:21.719 so humble? I guess you know, he's so humble. He's 0:06:21.760 --> 0:06:25.800 just so sweet, and he really takes people in, you know, 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:28.560 like I've had so many boyfriends that just never really 0:06:28.600 --> 0:06:30.960 took in my family or took the time. Like he's 0:06:31.160 --> 0:06:33.760 on the phone with my sisters without me, with my nieces, 0:06:33.800 --> 0:06:37.440 he's texting. It's just so sweet. And I kind of like, 0:06:37.839 --> 0:06:39.920 I'm like, oh, I have a team member now I'm 0:06:39.920 --> 0:06:42.680 not just on my own. So that's that's the best 0:06:42.720 --> 0:06:46.880 part too. That's wonderful. And he's ripped now, he's ripped 0:06:47.440 --> 0:06:50.320 from skiing. He's like he lost six every morning I 0:06:50.560 --> 0:06:52.640 weigh yourself. I don't understand what's going on. He would 0:06:52.640 --> 0:06:55.479 lose a pound six ounces to a pound every day. 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:58.479 I was getting ready. I'm getting ready for this big 0:06:58.520 --> 0:07:02.000 like campaign I'm doing with this athletic wear company, and 0:07:02.040 --> 0:07:03.600 I'm like, I'm the one who needs to get my 0:07:03.640 --> 0:07:06.400 body together, and he's just every day he's like more 0:07:06.440 --> 0:07:10.360 and more shredded. I'm like, oh God, yeah, so hot 0:07:10.440 --> 0:07:14.720 Joe Coiler. Watch out, guys, his underwear campaign is coming. 0:07:16.120 --> 0:07:18.680 I'm very excited for our guest, as always, I'm always 0:07:18.680 --> 0:07:20.680 excited for our guests because I just love doing this 0:07:20.720 --> 0:07:24.080 podcast and seeing what people can contribute. A friend of 0:07:24.120 --> 0:07:27.679 mine who's also a comedian, because I feel like female 0:07:27.720 --> 0:07:30.440 comedians are pretty insightful. They have a lot of good 0:07:30.440 --> 0:07:33.080 things to offer up, I think, and they're filled with 0:07:33.080 --> 0:07:35.760 a lot of self confidence and self doubt, so you 0:07:35.800 --> 0:07:39.640 get the best of both worlds. Please welcome comic and 0:07:39.760 --> 0:07:43.480 writer Beth Stelling. So, Beth, you took a little break 0:07:43.560 --> 0:07:45.720 after your most recent stand up special came out on 0:07:45.880 --> 0:07:50.760 HBO Max. Right Call Her Daddy, Um, Girl Daddy, Girl Daddy, Sorry, 0:07:50.760 --> 0:07:54.200 Ship call Her Daddy's Another podcast, So Many Dad, Too 0:07:54.200 --> 0:07:58.120 many daddy's. It's called girl Daddy on HBO Max and 0:07:58.160 --> 0:08:01.000 a lot of daddy's running around thinks for the queer eyes. Yeah, 0:08:01.040 --> 0:08:04.480 I did. I just I just had something weird happened. 0:08:04.520 --> 0:08:07.600 I don't know. Obviously, the weird part was the pandemic. 0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:10.280 I just I don't know how to explain it, and 0:08:10.320 --> 0:08:13.240 I don't want to be depressing. Well, you know, don't 0:08:13.240 --> 0:08:15.680 worry about that, but I'm curious to know. I mean, 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:19.600 that was an amazing special. You're so thoughtful, you're so smart, 0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:22.800 you're a great stand up. Like I loved that special. 0:08:22.880 --> 0:08:24.360 So when he told me that, I was like, oh 0:08:24.400 --> 0:08:27.600 my god, I have to ask or why and what happened? 0:08:27.800 --> 0:08:32.440 And don't worry about being depressing. Yes, so go back 0:08:32.480 --> 0:08:35.480 to like starting and stand up. It was oh seven 0:08:35.600 --> 0:08:38.160 for me, and I just remember thinking like how do 0:08:38.200 --> 0:08:42.040 I want to do this? And I knew all the stereotypes, 0:08:42.080 --> 0:08:44.760 and this sad part is they never leave. It's just 0:08:45.440 --> 0:08:47.640 you know, like fourteen or fifteen years later, it's just 0:08:47.679 --> 0:08:50.840 like women aren't funny. Women only talk about sex. And 0:08:50.880 --> 0:08:54.560 so when I first started, I really felt like a 0:08:54.679 --> 0:08:59.880 young person who wanted to just be part of the solution, 0:09:00.080 --> 0:09:03.400 meaning like I'm just going to not talk about sex. 0:09:03.640 --> 0:09:05.520 I had all these rules for myself when I first 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:07.520 started as a young and where I was like, I'm 0:09:07.520 --> 0:09:09.079 not going to talk about sex. I'm not going to 0:09:09.160 --> 0:09:11.160 hook up with the other comedians. And then I had 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:12.640 other dumb ones like I'm never going to take a 0:09:12.679 --> 0:09:14.920 notebook on stage and I'm never going to repeat a joke, 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:18.120 and then you realize, well, that's not what stand up is. 0:09:18.480 --> 0:09:20.960 It's so funny you say that. Let me just interject there, 0:09:21.000 --> 0:09:23.760 because I remember when I signed with my managers, when 0:09:23.800 --> 0:09:25.440 I was really starting out, they took me down to 0:09:25.480 --> 0:09:29.200 Irvine to the Improv to see Janine Garoffalo and she 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:32.280 had our notebook on stage, and I was like, oh, 0:09:32.320 --> 0:09:35.960 that is not professional, you know. And here I was like, 0:09:36.120 --> 0:09:39.520 not knowing my ass from my elbow, judging somebody who 0:09:39.520 --> 0:09:42.120 had been doing this for fifteen to twenty years already 0:09:42.400 --> 0:09:45.079 going how could she ever do that? Cut to that's 0:09:45.120 --> 0:09:47.120 exactly what you do when you're working out material. Let's 0:09:47.120 --> 0:09:49.400 bring a notebook on stage. I mean they had to 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:51.880 convince me to not have my little notebook when I 0:09:51.920 --> 0:09:54.800 was filming My special. I mean, I just it is 0:09:54.880 --> 0:09:56.880 like a comfort thing. And also getting to tour with 0:09:56.880 --> 0:09:59.839 Sarah Silverman, she always has the like this is why 0:09:59.880 --> 0:10:02.520 I I am like this, you know, like she always 0:10:02.520 --> 0:10:05.079 has her legal pad, and so it made it okay. 0:10:05.320 --> 0:10:08.080 And also she I one time heard her say like 0:10:08.559 --> 0:10:11.000 forget if somebody said something about the pad or something, 0:10:11.360 --> 0:10:14.320 she said something like forgive my notes, Um, I don't 0:10:14.360 --> 0:10:17.720 respect you. So it was just like it was a 0:10:17.720 --> 0:10:20.520 way to like dispel that because because I remember being 0:10:20.520 --> 0:10:23.680 at Laughed in Seattle after my first half hour on 0:10:23.800 --> 0:10:27.160 Comedy Central that was like or something, and I had 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:29.080 my notebook with me and some guy in the crowd 0:10:29.080 --> 0:10:31.600 at Laughed in Seattle was like, why are you reading notes? 0:10:32.600 --> 0:10:34.800 And somebody in the audience was like, she's just like 0:10:34.840 --> 0:10:36.600 so many different came to my defense and at that 0:10:36.679 --> 0:10:39.520 time and my how I was on stage and my 0:10:40.040 --> 0:10:42.120 persona or whatever, I actually kind of needed them to 0:10:42.160 --> 0:10:43.960 come to my defense because I was just I'm so 0:10:44.040 --> 0:10:47.160 sensitive and they're like, she just were filmed special, she's 0:10:47.240 --> 0:10:50.120 just working stuff out, like leave her alone. I always 0:10:50.160 --> 0:10:54.560 just say I'm doing my taxes. I mean, I love that. 0:10:54.920 --> 0:10:58.000 And also I remember opening for Verbiclea even when he 0:10:58.080 --> 0:11:00.120 was at the Irvine. He was letting me run my 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:03.839 half hour before the stand ups on Netflix, and he 0:11:03.920 --> 0:11:05.640 was it was called working it out at the time, 0:11:06.000 --> 0:11:08.240 and somebody yelled at him from the crowd, even, what 0:11:08.280 --> 0:11:11.120 do you why are you reading that? It's so funny 0:11:11.120 --> 0:11:13.840 because like people have this idea of stand up of 0:11:13.840 --> 0:11:16.160 what it's supposed to be, and I guess they still 0:11:16.200 --> 0:11:17.920 believe that we're just like coming up with it all 0:11:18.160 --> 0:11:20.360 off the top of our head. And in some ways 0:11:20.600 --> 0:11:22.960 you are, you know, if you're doing crowd work or improvising. 0:11:23.080 --> 0:11:26.240 But I had all these little ideas when I started, 0:11:26.520 --> 0:11:28.959 and I didn't like going up a bit. It open 0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:31.560 my twenty two years old Chicago seeing a girl go 0:11:31.600 --> 0:11:34.120 on stage and just talk about getting like butt fucked 0:11:34.120 --> 0:11:36.440 and ship going everywhere, And to me, I was like, 0:11:36.520 --> 0:11:38.720 it's not that I was a prude or I thought 0:11:38.800 --> 0:11:42.000 like it was more me being judgmental and thinking like, 0:11:42.040 --> 0:11:44.240 why are you doing this to us? Why are you 0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:47.360 going up there, and just leaning into the stereotype. It's 0:11:47.360 --> 0:11:49.920 just exhibitionists. Where's the joke? You know? I'm being all 0:11:50.360 --> 0:11:53.240 very on my high horse. And as time went on, 0:11:53.280 --> 0:11:55.120 I tried to stick to that because I thought, well, 0:11:55.120 --> 0:11:58.440 I'm gonna beat this stereotype by just being funny, and 0:11:58.480 --> 0:12:00.760 by being funny as a woman and not talking about sex. 0:12:00.760 --> 0:12:03.920 That's feminist because it will show that that is what 0:12:04.000 --> 0:12:06.760 we can do and be. And so I stuck to 0:12:06.800 --> 0:12:09.440 that for a long time until really this last hour. 0:12:09.800 --> 0:12:11.680 It's not that I never talked about anything sexual, but 0:12:12.240 --> 0:12:14.959 this last hour. At the beginnings of it, I remember 0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:17.959 being at the Funny Bone in Dayton, and that's what 0:12:18.040 --> 0:12:20.040 I mean. I'm from Dayton, Ohio, so I have like 0:12:20.760 --> 0:12:23.880 my friends family in the front row. I have my 0:12:23.960 --> 0:12:26.600 whole family, their teachers that I grew up with, and 0:12:26.800 --> 0:12:28.600 a lot of this stuff I wanted to talk about 0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:32.960 was sex and like not dirty what I believe to 0:12:32.960 --> 0:12:35.800 be exhibitionists and not okay like but jokes. Like I 0:12:35.840 --> 0:12:37.600 felt like I held it in for so long that 0:12:37.720 --> 0:12:40.000 I earned it. That was like, no, I'm going to 0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:43.440 talk about it because I'm so tired of not and 0:12:43.480 --> 0:12:47.280 I can do it well. So I fought that for 0:12:47.320 --> 0:12:48.760 a long time, and the early parts of it, of 0:12:48.800 --> 0:12:50.320 course weren't as funny as I wanted them to be. 0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:53.640 So that was an uncomfortable weekend beat, like doing the 0:12:53.679 --> 0:12:56.200 sex stuff in front of those people until I'm working 0:12:56.200 --> 0:12:58.800 out the jokes until they're good enough. So that was 0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:02.120 already the entry into this hour. I felt obviously I 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:04.440 guess we could name it as like shame or I 0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:07.000 don't even know. And then once I felt good about 0:13:07.000 --> 0:13:09.360 it and I was really rolling with it. A lot 0:13:09.400 --> 0:13:12.440 of it was driven by anger by watching male comics 0:13:12.440 --> 0:13:17.840 specials and then almost writing retorts to them. Yeah, because 0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:24.080 I feel irritated that even though it's been so long 0:13:24.240 --> 0:13:26.680 and women have been funny for so long, for decades, 0:13:27.320 --> 0:13:30.760 that we're still not granted individuality when we walk on 0:13:30.880 --> 0:13:34.880 stage like men are. So it just bothered me that 0:13:35.160 --> 0:13:38.640 they don't get named social justice warriors for talking about 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:42.000 some of the same topics that were mulling over or 0:13:42.200 --> 0:13:45.839 trying to create jokes out of. So yeah, that bothered me, 0:13:46.000 --> 0:13:47.520 and I wrote a lot of retorts to that. So 0:13:47.600 --> 0:13:52.000 it was almost fueled by rage. And then but that 0:13:52.080 --> 0:13:55.880 was before I filmed March seven, so I filmed truly 0:13:55.920 --> 0:13:57.880 the weekend before the world sort of shut down. I 0:13:57.920 --> 0:14:00.160 remember you and I had a conversation and we at 0:14:00.160 --> 0:14:02.520 my production company because we were talking about you filming 0:14:02.600 --> 0:14:04.920 or special and we were talking about certain male comics, 0:14:05.200 --> 0:14:08.280 and you were actually debating about going after someone I 0:14:08.280 --> 0:14:11.600 don't even remember who, or you know, calling him out specifically, 0:14:11.840 --> 0:14:13.920 and I was like, that's a great idea of it. 0:14:15.520 --> 0:14:20.080 I was like, yeah, yeah, exactly, So I mean that 0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:23.040 does take guts and balls, and like, I love that. 0:14:23.280 --> 0:14:28.080 I think that's brave. Well, thank you. That means a 0:14:28.160 --> 0:14:31.120 lot coming from you. I definitely don't regret it at all. 0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:34.880 I think I'm just like I looked at like even 0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:37.760 during the pandemic, I watched Richard Pryor, so like back 0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:40.200 when I started, I didn't watch a ton of stand 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:43.000 up because I was terrified of stealing, you know, in 0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:45.840 that same naive way that when you first start, you're like, 0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:48.360 I better not putting in my material online because people 0:14:48.440 --> 0:14:51.120 might steal it. It's like nobody wants it, you're not funny. 0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:54.520 But I just was terrified of stealing someone's persona or 0:14:54.600 --> 0:14:56.440 jokes or anything. So I didn't watch. I wasn't a 0:14:56.440 --> 0:14:58.720 student of stand up and I never really like dreamed 0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:00.360 of being when growing up. I kind of just wanted 0:15:00.360 --> 0:15:04.200 to be an actress. So I watched in the pandemic 0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:08.240 Prior's like Long Beach set from seventy nine, and I 0:15:08.280 --> 0:15:10.800 had never been like a huge Prior fan because I 0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:12.560 just didn't watch a ton of it. And then as 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:15.240 I was watching it, I thought it was incredible, and 0:15:15.320 --> 0:15:18.840 I was also saddened because he's talking about police brutality 0:15:19.240 --> 0:15:22.640 and at the time, I'm sure that was potentially scary 0:15:22.720 --> 0:15:25.400 and controversial. And then what made me even sadder is 0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:28.440 how long it's been and nothing's changed. So I began 0:15:28.480 --> 0:15:32.120 to feel really depressed and downtrodden about the fact that 0:15:32.160 --> 0:15:35.440 what we think we do might change people and it doesn't. 0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:40.160 So I know I've reached people. I'm like, I also 0:15:40.160 --> 0:15:41.720 don't want to be like a sad sack. That's like, 0:15:41.720 --> 0:15:44.080 why what I do doesn't make a difference, because I 0:15:44.160 --> 0:15:46.200 know I have. I have had cool people come up 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:48.720 to me afterwards and say so, so I know it 0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:52.400 means something. I just think after it came out it 0:15:52.520 --> 0:15:57.560 was in August, I just didn't feel like much changed. 0:15:57.640 --> 0:15:59.760 I don't know, and it's not like I expected. It's 0:15:59.800 --> 0:16:01.200 not like I think so highly with myself by that 0:16:01.280 --> 0:16:04.080 it would change the world or something. I know what 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:06.720 you mean, though, I you know, when you're going into 0:16:06.840 --> 0:16:09.720 like an artistic endeavor like these, you know, a stand 0:16:09.800 --> 0:16:12.800 up special is a big endeavor. It's you, you, you, 0:16:12.920 --> 0:16:16.520 and you. There's nowhere else to blame anything on. So 0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:20.080 and when you're it's an undertaking, because I remember my 0:16:20.320 --> 0:16:23.200 special evolution came out like shortly right after yours, so 0:16:23.320 --> 0:16:25.760 I was watching yours like closely because we had had 0:16:25.800 --> 0:16:29.960 that conversation too. And I think it's so true that 0:16:30.000 --> 0:16:33.760 you think that you're always kind of disappointed by the 0:16:33.800 --> 0:16:36.840 reaction something gets. I mean, when are we ever pleased 0:16:37.000 --> 0:16:39.720 with the reaction something gets? You know? I get my 0:16:39.760 --> 0:16:42.160 podcast numbers every month. I'm like, oh my god, I 0:16:42.160 --> 0:16:44.480 can't believe all these people are listening to this podcast. 0:16:44.680 --> 0:16:46.760 This is the easiest thing I've ever done with almost 0:16:46.960 --> 0:16:50.120 no intention, you know, I'm just having like conversations. I'm like, oh, 0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:51.520 is it is that what you're supposed to do, how 0:16:51.520 --> 0:16:54.120 you're supposed to handle everything with just kind of off 0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:57.760 the seat of your pants. But I think what you're saying, hey, 0:16:57.520 --> 0:17:00.440 I can relate to on so many levels about wanting 0:17:00.480 --> 0:17:03.960 to listen to other comedy stand up, specifically because you 0:17:03.960 --> 0:17:07.359 don't want to mimic others accidentally, because you can do 0:17:07.400 --> 0:17:10.520 it so accidentally anyway. But the one thing I've learned 0:17:10.560 --> 0:17:14.160 over the last many years is we all are talking 0:17:14.200 --> 0:17:17.200 about the same ship. It doesn't make you less of 0:17:17.240 --> 0:17:19.480 a comic it's you know, it's all of our what's 0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:22.879 our angle? Everyone is talking about sex and parents and 0:17:22.960 --> 0:17:26.440 family and religion and anal and whatever you're talking about. 0:17:26.440 --> 0:17:30.439 It's it's not unique the subject matter. What's unique is 0:17:30.440 --> 0:17:33.440 your take on it, or your strength or your weaknesses 0:17:33.840 --> 0:17:36.760 or you know, your p o V. So that's something 0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:40.560 we always have to remind ourselves of, right, Yeah, And 0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:43.080 I think that's what got me. Sorry, I just and also, 0:17:43.119 --> 0:17:45.720 of course everything with what felt like, you know, this 0:17:45.840 --> 0:17:51.520 racial recording in that early which of course I felt 0:17:52.160 --> 0:17:54.560 like what do I have to add? So so that 0:17:54.720 --> 0:17:57.000 also contributed to it where I felt like I should 0:17:57.000 --> 0:17:59.639 just shut up and it. And then I was further 0:17:59.680 --> 0:18:01.280 added TATD by some of the people who I had 0:18:01.240 --> 0:18:04.800 originally been fueled with some of that material because they 0:18:04.800 --> 0:18:07.120 didn't shut up. And it's like you're just gonna keep 0:18:07.119 --> 0:18:09.800 tweeting and you're just gonna keep making jokes that are 0:18:09.880 --> 0:18:12.639 so trivial about some of these like really important things 0:18:12.680 --> 0:18:14.600 like why can't we all why can't you guys just 0:18:14.640 --> 0:18:17.520 sit down? I even felt that way materialized or just 0:18:17.640 --> 0:18:21.200 everybody during the pandemic, where I was sort of like, 0:18:21.800 --> 0:18:23.800 oh good, the world telling us to take a nap, 0:18:24.200 --> 0:18:25.960 but all these kids are getting up and running around. 0:18:25.960 --> 0:18:27.840 I'm like, could you guys just fucking lay down for 0:18:27.880 --> 0:18:30.680 a bit, you know. And then from home, everybody's doing 0:18:30.680 --> 0:18:33.440 stand up shows and getting green screens, and I realized 0:18:33.440 --> 0:18:36.880 that's pivoting and like taking charge of career. And so 0:18:37.000 --> 0:18:39.359 I think I just was going through something personally that 0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:41.720 made me feel like we can we all just please 0:18:41.880 --> 0:18:45.040 rest because we're supposed to, Or maybe I just went 0:18:45.119 --> 0:18:47.800 so hard for so long when the world said stopped, 0:18:47.800 --> 0:18:50.240 I was like, oh, thank you. Yeah. I think a 0:18:50.280 --> 0:18:53.240 lot of people thought that way for sure, Yeah, which 0:18:53.400 --> 0:18:57.440 stopped me from writing. And and there's so much content, 0:18:57.840 --> 0:18:59.480 so so like when we're supposed to be resting and 0:18:59.480 --> 0:19:01.840 then you open your phone, it's like everybody's doing stuff 0:19:01.880 --> 0:19:03.960 from home from a green screen, doing these things, and 0:19:03.960 --> 0:19:07.520 I'm like sitting here, thinking, already, you know this after 0:19:07.560 --> 0:19:10.240 a special comes out. You know, I've never given birth, 0:19:10.320 --> 0:19:13.560 but but it sometimes did feel like that you just 0:19:13.600 --> 0:19:16.280 can't control once it gets away from you and then 0:19:16.320 --> 0:19:19.680 it's gone, and people's immediate reaction is that was so good, 0:19:19.760 --> 0:19:22.119 I can't wait for the next one. And instead of 0:19:22.160 --> 0:19:26.240 me taking that as like thank you. I'm going there 0:19:26.359 --> 0:19:29.840 is no next one. That took me so long. And 0:19:29.880 --> 0:19:33.199