Speaker 1: And yes we are. What's that, Sydney? How are you? Oh?
Speaker 1: You know it's gloomy and good old New York City
Speaker 1: to match my mood.
Speaker 2: I feel like we're in the UK. It's been raining
Speaker 2: and gloomy for.
Speaker 1: The last couple of days. Yes, it has very gross garbage,
Speaker 1: very hunter boot weather trash. Yeah, garbage. But you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm still gonna rock my calves out. I'm still gonna
Speaker 1: act like it's low key warm because it was like.
Speaker 2: All the people who you were roasting all winter long.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, you gotta flip the script. You gotta
Speaker 1: see why they were doing what they were doing. And
Speaker 1: I still don't get it. I mean, you look cute today.
Speaker 1: You have one a Ghostbusters Ghostbusters.
Speaker 2: I was thinking that, Yes, a Ghostbuster slash garbage demand
Speaker 2: jumpsuit on.
Speaker 1: It's cute. Is this yours? Or is this Adrian? This
Speaker 1: is mine? Beautiful beautiful like the color? Thank you like that?
Speaker 2: It's like a little baggy. I know you like things to.
Speaker 1: Be skin type. Who are you gonna call? Uh? You work,
Speaker 1: go on to college? The shady Busters. That's us. We
Speaker 1: should have a whole show about our shade.
Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, we can let's just come up with
Speaker 2: different show ideas, dude, because I feel like that's where
Speaker 2: we are right now career wise. The Shade Busters, we
Speaker 2: just sit around and throw shade, or we people watch.
Speaker 2: We sit in front of a window and just talk
Speaker 2: about people as they walk.
Speaker 1: By, because that's what we do.
Speaker 2: Is that what you're wearing right now, sir a Tom Loafer?
Speaker 1: But I also like creating like whole scenarios when I
Speaker 1: meet random people on the train. When I see them,
Speaker 1: I try to pretend like what their life is, like,
Speaker 1: what do they guess? I try to guess like what
Speaker 1: what do they do? Who are they with? Are they single?
Speaker 1: Do they have kids? Are they doing meth on the weekends?
Speaker 2: Like so just by looking at them, you come up
Speaker 2: with like their whole backstore.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, I'm here for a backstory, and then
Speaker 1: you put a little music on top of that will sound.
Speaker 2: I feel like, first of all, I don't believe this
Speaker 2: to be your reality because you stay in your phone
Speaker 2: the entire time you're out in public, So when do
Speaker 2: you have time to make eye contact with people on
Speaker 2: the train.
Speaker 1: When I'm on the train, I don't have any service,
Speaker 1: especially since saying I know data and it's gone. I
Speaker 1: can't even send barely a text. It's so bad right now.
Speaker 2: It's every month, Sydney that I've known you, you go.
Speaker 1: Over your data and I go over early, like it'll
Speaker 1: be seven days into the month, and you're like, you
Speaker 1: are one hundred percent gone with your data?
Speaker 2: Seven days into the data?
Speaker 1: Do you have? Dude? Apparently not enough. I'm trying to
Speaker 1: get out of AT and T. It's just a scam.
Speaker 1: It just wants people to spend more and more money.
Speaker 1: All of them are a scam. Verizon a scam. Sprint
Speaker 1: is a scam.
Speaker 2: I feel like T Mobile is the only one that's like,
Speaker 2: where is the scam here?
Speaker 1: I'm about to get a burner phone.
Speaker 2: I feel like T Mobile they just let you. They're like, well,
Speaker 2: we'll buy out your contract and you get unlimited everything
Speaker 2: for twelve cents. And it's like, are y'all are y'all
Speaker 2: bugging me?
Speaker 1: Are you about to do thing to.
Speaker 2: The conversations and recording them?
Speaker 1: I'm about to do cricket? Then that's what that's what
Speaker 1: our friend I mean it is she is cricket and
Speaker 1: she spends like six dollars a month. I mean it's
Speaker 1: like a month she has service. It's a month.
Speaker 2: I mean we facetimed before and the FaceTime be on
Speaker 2: a delay.
Speaker 1: It's oh, and it'd be pixelated as fuck. You'd be like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, this is an old Sega Genesis game. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't matter. She has a like a six plus.
Speaker 1: She got an iPhone X, like she sell it. They
Speaker 1: sell it for like fifty dollars at cricket. She got
Speaker 1: an explode iPhone why? Yeah, what.
Speaker 2: I mean, how do we feel about the iPhone X?
Speaker 2: First of all, it's a thousand dollars phone. So sometime
Speaker 2: I see somebody with it and they don't have a case.
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, they got money.
Speaker 1: But also I'm just like on a phone, if you
Speaker 1: spending this on a phone, your priorities are not together.
Speaker 2: One thousand dollars dude, that's one hundred dollars times ten.
Speaker 2: Okay does that math check out? Yeah, that's fifty dollars
Speaker 2: times twenty.
Speaker 1: I love how you clock in other people's money.
Speaker 2: One thousand dollars for a cell phone. I remember when
Speaker 2: phones caught like you would like mail or rebate in
Speaker 2: and you would get you know, your phone for free
Speaker 2: or you get an upgrade. Remember when we were eligible
Speaker 2: for upgrades and you got a free phone in like
Speaker 2: two years.
Speaker 1: They stopped doing that because they were they realized. They're like,
Speaker 1: we ain't making no fucking money from this. I know now.
Speaker 1: What they're doing is they're like, you can buy the phone,
Speaker 1: but like, pay us fifty dollars a month for the phone.
Speaker 1: That's what I've been for ten years. It's stupid.
Speaker 2: But then when you do the math, at the end
Speaker 2: of that time, you spend more than you would have
Speaker 2: if you just bought the phone. Yeah, how long do
Speaker 2: you have to do that for before your phone is
Speaker 2: paid off?
Speaker 1: I think of on two years and I think I
Speaker 1: finally paid off my phone. But how much were you
Speaker 1: paying a month to P I was like five dollars, No,
Speaker 1: forty five cents. That's all I have for the month
Speaker 1: for two years for two years. Yeah, I mean that
Speaker 1: means the phone was pretty cheap, dude. Yeah, it's like
Speaker 1: a hundred dollar phone. I was like, what is the
Speaker 1: lowest I can pay a month? A dollar?
Speaker 2: And they were like, I don't know if you can
Speaker 2: afford to have this phone. Yeah, that's crazy people talk.
Speaker 2: I got my phone for free. Because I stole it.
Speaker 2: What allegedly? Wow, I just took it from an old job?
Speaker 2: What allegedly?
Speaker 1: Are you serious?
Speaker 2: Yeah, they had like a bunch of they bought a
Speaker 2: bunch of phones for the employees, you know, work phones,
Speaker 2: and I was like, I need a new phone. Don't
Speaker 2: nobody want this one? And I just took it allegedly What?
Speaker 1: Yeah, which job was this? Allegedly it was? It was
Speaker 1: a temp job? Allegedly allegedly allegedly, Wait, that was a
Speaker 1: long time ago. When your cousin gave you that.
Speaker 2: No, I took it from work. You're a lying asshole.
Speaker 2: Allegedly allegedly. No, the phone that I had before this,
Speaker 2: my cousin gave to me, not.
Speaker 1: Allegedly for real, Okay, allegedly allegedly allegedly. You know, I
Speaker 1: like to steal things from work. I thought that leave
Speaker 1: the jacket that I still I know. You're so good
Speaker 1: at it. And when you look at your when I
Speaker 1: look at you, I don't see thief, but you do
Speaker 1: give me like sticky finger vibes. I thank you so much,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. I mean, I take from people
Speaker 1: who don't actually need. Wow, little ghetto robin hood, is
Speaker 1: that so much hood Rashida.
Speaker 2: Let's talk about Cardi B briefly. She deleted her Instagram
Speaker 2: because of Azalea Bank.
Speaker 1: She's going through it. What that's the pregnancy hormones? Like
Speaker 1: talking to her, because there's no way I wouldn't let
Speaker 1: that raggedy ass chick get me off social media my
Speaker 1: millions of followers. Okay, I hope she deactivated.
Speaker 2: Is that's what I hope happened. Also, you could take
Speaker 2: a break.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you gotta take a break though, because like all
Speaker 1: the mentions, all the like stuff that's going on, it's
Speaker 1: too much. Yeah, But I feel like verified accounts work
Speaker 1: differently than regular accounts. Oh what's that like? I feel
Speaker 1: like a verified account like a celebrity account, Like they
Speaker 1: get notified when verified people comment on their stuff, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like they get notified. They get
Speaker 1: different notifications than us. We get everybody when everybody responds, okay,
Speaker 1: but when your count got that little blue check, it's
Speaker 1: set up differently, well, you know, because they get hundreds
Speaker 1: of millions of comments and millions of likes. Like I
Speaker 1: was on Beyonce's page yesterday and she had like a
Speaker 1: picture a post that got.
Speaker 2: One point two million likes. You think her phone is
Speaker 2: just vibrating one point two million times.
Speaker 1: Well it's not. Nobody isn't. She's not taking care of
Speaker 1: her account anyway. She sure right. It's Angie, Angie.
Speaker 2: Angie runs the Instagram.
Speaker 1: You think it's somebody else.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I feel like all her posts be
Speaker 2: looking real editorial like to It's like, Beyonce, do you
Speaker 2: have a personality? Like can you smile in this one photo?
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter, sis, like this is what's our this
Speaker 1: is the time, this is what people are doing. Everything
Speaker 1: is curated. Nothing is like fun anymore. Everybody has to
Speaker 1: look like they're cool.
Speaker 2: I mean that's what regular people face tunem, but celebrities
Speaker 2: like they get like people professional photoshop people to touch photos.
Speaker 1: Talk about this face tuning people like.
Speaker 2: What are you doing?
Speaker 1: Who are listening with the hell? Face Face tune is
Speaker 1: like photoshop for regular ass folks, And it's just it's
Speaker 1: an app. It's an app that you can, you know,
Speaker 1: fix your ribs, fix your nose, fix the background and shit, yeah,
Speaker 1: remove a blemish. And it's just like, come on, we're
Speaker 1: all not that perfect, especially especially if you work at
Speaker 1: best Buy, Like why are you face face tuning your shit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I'm gonna come up and be like, oh,
Speaker 2: you know what is this tv on selt Wait a minute,
Speaker 2: I'll follow you on the gram. That's not what your
Speaker 2: face looks like. So your ass looks fatter on Instagram.
Speaker 1: And it's really disappointing when you follow somebody on social
Speaker 1: media and then you meet them in real life and
Speaker 1: you like, you ain't nothing like you posted at all.
Speaker 2: That's why I like ig stories because I don't be
Speaker 2: putting no makeup on. I just put like a like
Speaker 2: a taj Mahal filter on. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2: You just keep swiping until you get that Abu Zabi filter,
Speaker 2: the little rainbow bright thing, and I honestly I feel
Speaker 2: like I look exactly the same.
Speaker 1: Yeah I don't. I don't put on filters all my ship.
Speaker 2: I don't have face to him because I'm not paying
Speaker 2: for no damn app.
Speaker 1: Well. I got face tune because the Gaze showed me
Speaker 1: what to do, but I don't know how to do it.
Speaker 1: I don't know how to face tune and make it
Speaker 1: look proper. If I face tu him, people like yo,
Speaker 1: that just yanky as hell, And I could tell that
Speaker 1: you try to remove that ash from your ankles and
Speaker 1: your your ankles still look ashy.
Speaker 2: They'd be like, did you try to add a contour?
Speaker 2: Why is there a brown line on your cheek? Is
Speaker 2: that dodo?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's what it is. It's like, be yourself, man,
Speaker 1: I guess whatever the face tune because the gay is
Speaker 1: is the person who told me what face tune even was. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a lot of the gays. But the problem is
Speaker 1: with the face tune is like, you're so worried about
Speaker 1: your face, what about the other five people that's in
Speaker 1: the photo with you? You're just gonna have to rhyme to
Speaker 1: edit all that. Yeah, but it's like that's how people
Speaker 1: can tell when it's face tuned, When your shit is
Speaker 1: too perfect and everybody else is looking like dry and
Speaker 1: wrinkled and crease.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you'd be like, your face looks blemish free, but
Speaker 2: what is all this a wrinkle in time around you?
Speaker 1: Yeah? And it's just like, so that's the crew that
Speaker 1: you're around. You look that good, and then that's your
Speaker 1: that's your follow up.
Speaker 2: No, no way, these my homies, these my row dome.
Speaker 1: No, it's my girl squad. But that's what people are
Speaker 1: doing now, and it's it's stressful because you feel like
Speaker 1: that's how you need to look in real life. But
Speaker 1: that's no way.
Speaker 2: Well, Azalia Banks posted a picture of Cardi with no
Speaker 2: makeup on. It was like, you look like a big toe.
Speaker 2: She's like, when you remove all yet, oh you're a
Speaker 2: highlighting contour. You look like a big toe. She's so rude.
Speaker 2: She said that she was. She called her like a uh,
Speaker 2: she said that she couldn't read.
Speaker 1: She called her a rat. Yeah, she called her a literate.
Speaker 1: I mean she said the the obvious. She didn't say
Speaker 1: anything that I wasn't like, oh wow, that's different. I mean,
Speaker 1: she doesn't look like a big toe. That's rude. I mean,
Speaker 1: if you look at the photo, it's kind of big
Speaker 1: toe ish. It looks like a smushed baby, pinky tonail.
Speaker 1: Well whatever, Ozilia's got a lot of nerves. She got
Speaker 1: a big ass overbite. Yeah, she looks a little off.
Speaker 1: It was like a squirrel and or a chipmunk. There's
Speaker 1: no offense to people who are off offset, but Alvin
Speaker 1: Simon as Elia Banks like she's one of the chipmunks.
Speaker 1: And it looks like her elevator doesn't go to the
Speaker 1: top floor.
Speaker 2: Oh that's old people for like she not all the
Speaker 2: way there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like her elevator only steps on the fifth floor
Speaker 1: and then you gotta walk the rest. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it says no, no unauthorized people exactly. And then you,
Speaker 1: like you, you push the emergency button and nobody comes. Oh. Absolutely.
Speaker 2: I got trapped on an elevator once. Yeah, I was.
Speaker 2: I was in New Jersey. That's your phone with a
Speaker 2: giant suitcase, trying to get to my mom's house, trying
Speaker 2: to like go back into the city, and the elevator
Speaker 2: got stuck and I leaned on the button and the
Speaker 2: fire department came. They were like, uh ma'am, we're on
Speaker 2: the way, please stop pressing the button. And I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna miss my train.
Speaker 1: It's like, fuck the chain girl, get out of that. Dude.
Speaker 2: Can you imagine? Is there a scarier place to be
Speaker 2: trapped New Jersey?
Speaker 1: You know, that's that's your fault for going to New Jersey.
Speaker 1: But we are going to Newark for this barbecue.
Speaker 2: Keep saying that.
Speaker 1: I keep telling people thinking that you're like, no, we
Speaker 1: have to go, we need like a field peace, and
Speaker 1: you're telling others. Yeah, it's a field piece. Well, we're
Speaker 1: gonna we're gonna instagram it. We're gonna have like little clips,
Speaker 1: we're gonna post it. We're gonna have the brisket burger
Speaker 1: with a bacon on it. We're gonna have like a
Speaker 1: video of you eating it and be like, damn, tastes
Speaker 1: like poverty like stuff like that.
Speaker 2: Why did you make me sound like Chris Tucker?
Speaker 1: Damn?
Speaker 2: Which one y'all do to hit me?
Speaker 1: Uh? What? No?
Speaker 2: Uh so your team is Zelia Banks? Is that what
Speaker 2: you're saying to me?
Speaker 1: Oh? No, absolutely not. I mean sometimes I read her
Speaker 1: stuff and I'm like, oh, this bitch might be onto something,
Speaker 1: but she's so unlikable. Yeah, and she came for my
Speaker 1: best friend, so like, no, she's dead to me, she's
Speaker 1: she's always been dead.
Speaker 2: I saw she was on the Breakfast Club Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2: I didn't watch the interview, but she looked crazy because
Speaker 2: she went to Bbq's with gloves and her like boobs
Speaker 2: were like at her chin.
Speaker 1: Did you see the photo? No stalls Bbq's in a
Speaker 1: gown and like all the green dress, yeah, and an
Speaker 1: opera length glove and she was like eating honeywings. When
Speaker 1: we get money and we actually like have a wardrobe.
Speaker 1: We're not going to go on at Bbq'szelli Bank's.
Speaker 2: Got no damn money. We probably have the same amount
Speaker 2: of money as.
Speaker 1: Hi. You're not going to do ratchet things while you
Speaker 1: have money. That's how you save your money. You still
Speaker 1: got to go to the hood and do hood things
Speaker 1: to remain wealthy. You can't be spending your money on
Speaker 1: these places for people who are rich.
Speaker 2: I mean, I hear what you're saying.
Speaker 1: Yes, I accept that, but if Azelia Banks did it,
Speaker 1: I don't want to do it. We don't have to
Speaker 1: go somewhere. Were gonna have to go to Olive Garden
Speaker 1: and get a salads? Okay, well yeah, but I really
Speaker 1: like those sticky wings, especially when they're free.
Speaker 2: I mean, so why am I spending my money at
Speaker 2: the hood spot where we can just get somebody hood
Speaker 2: dubyas wing?
Speaker 1: Yes? That can't we do that this summer? We need
Speaker 1: to get more hood people who have connects to get
Speaker 1: us free things. Did I have to have connects?
Speaker 2: They just gotta have money.
Speaker 1: They could even be so you want a drug dealer,
Speaker 1: could be did you what I said?
Speaker 2: You need to be drug money?
Speaker 1: So you want a drug dealer.
Speaker 2: No, I don't want a drug dealer. I just want
Speaker 2: somebody to pay for my food.
Speaker 1: So you want to be at La Marina all summer, Listen.
Speaker 1: As long as I'm not paying for things and I
Speaker 1: don't have to get on the train for eight hours
Speaker 1: to get to the Bronx, I'll do it. Okay. So
Speaker 1: somebody saw me last night and they're like, yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: trying to hook Marie up with this guy. She showed
Speaker 1: me a picture of him and I was like, how
Speaker 1: tall is he? And I was like, mm, how told
Speaker 1: is he? How tall is he? Like five nine five?
Speaker 1: And she's like, She's like, oh, he makes two hundred
Speaker 1: thousand dollars a year.
Speaker 2: And I said, oh, okay, what did he What does
Speaker 2: his face look like?
Speaker 1: He kind of looks like Courtney Fearrington the comic Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: he kind of looks like he kind of looks like him.
Speaker 1: But Courtney if he made two hundred thousand dollars, I mean,
Speaker 1: Courton works with the government and makes a cute amount
Speaker 1: of change too. But Courtney's not five ten Okay. I
Speaker 1: think he's five five yeah, okay, with brown eyes. Also,
Speaker 1: he's a comedian. Yeah, okay five brown ye a comedian
Speaker 1: divorce yes, okay, okay.
Speaker 2: And he likes rose and he likes rose and in
Speaker 2: a can and he's and I feel like he dates
Speaker 2: like like black women, but also like maybe like an
Speaker 2: Asian girl.
Speaker 1: Oh. I can see him with an Asian for sure,
Speaker 1: right right, an Asian that wears corn rolls as well,
Speaker 1: like a like a beat box Asian, like like the
Speaker 1: hard Juku, the Gwen Stefani Asian.
Speaker 2: Yeah, or like or like like an Egyptian woman or
Speaker 2: something like. He looks like he'll date like Moroccan, like
Speaker 2: a Moroccan. Yeah, I see that, like an Abu Dabi okay, Dabby, Mommy.
Speaker 2: I don't know what song that's that song? What song
Speaker 2: is that is the rock in the building? That's not
Speaker 2: how you say are no stop?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah yeah yeah, which literally could be any song.
Speaker 1: But I know, you know what, the listeners know what
Speaker 1: fucking song we're talking about. We're not being racist and rude.
Speaker 1: It's a song. It's a song. It's a jay Z song.
Speaker 1: I can't fucking remember it though. I want to say
Speaker 1: a rap money, but that's a different song. Yes, get
Speaker 1: there money, we're getting their rab money. No that's a
Speaker 1: totally different song. Yo. Now I gotta go on Spotify. No,
Speaker 1: I can't even go to Spotify. It's on to dal.
Speaker 1: I'm not going on title. Ye I'm not either. But yes.
Speaker 1: So then he's She's like, oh, he makes two hundred
Speaker 1: thousand dollars a year, And I.
Speaker 2: Said, okay, I could work with that. Is this a
Speaker 2: friend that we like?
Speaker 1: No, we don't know. He works at her job.
Speaker 2: No, this person who was talking to you about, yes,
Speaker 2: guy is somebody that we like, yes, yes, yes. So
Speaker 2: then I was like, okay, so where does he Where
Speaker 2: does he live? And she's like Carlem.
Speaker 1: I was like Harlem, Sis, Oh my god, for a
Speaker 1: long disconcern.
Speaker 2: That's what I said.
Speaker 1: That's what I said. Listen, I'm just speaking on behalf
Speaker 1: of the things that you've already told me, right.
Speaker 2: And we both know we don't really I mean, you
Speaker 2: have a place in Harlem and used to you don't
Speaker 2: even go there.
Speaker 1: Sis is getting I told you it's getting sold, right,
Speaker 1: The building is getting sold. The building is getting sold,
Speaker 1: and I gotta go get my ship. I got a
Speaker 1: T So you got like, oh you got a TV? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean the TV can stay here. Sis. You want it,
Speaker 1: sure gets stay here. Okay, cool, cool, cool, I'll bring
Speaker 1: it here. That's great that you need to get I've like,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna throw out all these clothes or whatever
Speaker 1: that I used to have. It's like, I feel like
Speaker 1: you got closed.
Speaker 2: That probably are you got some pieces?
Speaker 1: No. I gave a lot of stuff to her because
Speaker 1: I didn't feel like bringing them to his wealth. Just
Speaker 1: gable wasted. Yeah, like a really nice yellow blazer, like
Speaker 1: some satin pieces, some real satin pieces. Yeah. Actually should
Speaker 1: have said, Marie, do you want the trash? You are
Speaker 1: dead to me, I get off my couch. You didn't
Speaker 1: have stand for the rest of the Yeah, I should have.
Speaker 2: I was like, where Marie going, all right, I might
Speaker 2: possibly do a show and a satin piece.
Speaker 1: Actually, but now that you're living your new life going
Speaker 1: to opera and ship, and I should have you could
Speaker 1: have had that for that. AnyWho. So, yeah, my building
Speaker 1: is getting sold. The building that had the backyard, the
Speaker 1: walking closet, the washing and dryer, the ship is gone.
Speaker 2: Your furniture gone.
Speaker 1: I have a little dresser. I'm gonna throw that out too.
Speaker 1: Damn dude, you just throw You didn't even craigslist it
Speaker 1: you could have made a little coin. No, girl, it's
Speaker 1: after a while. It's kind of like this ship has
Speaker 1: no value. You you bought it and it wasn't that
Speaker 1: much money, and you think you're gonna make you a bed?
Speaker 1: Was it?
Speaker 2: Let's describe the bed frame.
Speaker 1: Ikia thin rickety and I've had tons tons of sex
Speaker 1: on it. So the wood is hanging on by a threat. Yeah,
Speaker 1: exactly the bed in that song, that's that's my bed.
Speaker 1: So I threw everything with the mattress was it was
Speaker 1: an ikea mattress back all on support. Yea, it just
Speaker 1: felt like the floor literally hard. Honestly, the floors get
Speaker 1: for your back, that's what I heard. But you know,
Speaker 1: when you're drinking every day and drugging, a bed is
Speaker 1: a bed.
Speaker 2: Bet is also a bathroom. A bed is also a
Speaker 2: kitchen table. When you're drinking and drinking.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, when you're drinking and drugging, underneath the table
Speaker 1: is the best. And underneath like the sink spot, or just.
Speaker 2: Like resting your forehead gently on the bathroom tile.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, after you had a good throw up, you
Speaker 1: just expelled all those hitty wings and kulaas feels great.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: So a chapter of your life is done, yo, the
Speaker 1: backyard and everything, y'ar. I didn't even get to get
Speaker 1: my place back. Remember when I used to tell you, Yo,
Speaker 1: I can't wait to get money because then I'm gonna
Speaker 1: move back to Harlem. That never happened. When I said
Speaker 1: that to you, you were like yeah. But in my head,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I can't wait to book something
Speaker 1: so I could get my apartment back, because I was
Speaker 1: just like, I'm the one that gentrified the building in
Speaker 1: the first place.
Speaker 2: Yes, because you brought all the white people to the building.
Speaker 2: I did, and only one of them is still there. Yeah,
Speaker 2: my roommate, So where's she gonna go? She's looking for stuff?
Speaker 2: She said she might be in the financial district.
Speaker 1: Okay, so fine, that's what I said. I said that.
Speaker 1: I was like, I hate when I know, well, when
Speaker 1: I can think of like how much money somebody is
Speaker 1: making or having, like just the moves that they make.
Speaker 1: I hate that I clock other people's finances.
Speaker 2: Everybody does it, though, Like even when I lived in
Speaker 2: LA people would come to the apartment and be like,
Speaker 2: how much y'all pay for this? And I'm like, that's rude.
Speaker 2: That's like asking me how much I make.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I was telling them, I was like, well,
Speaker 1: you know, I only pay eight fifty for this, but
Speaker 1: a fifty in la is it's cute, and a fifty
Speaker 1: in New York City is amazing. But you're in a
Speaker 1: corner of a kitchen for fifty two bedroom, two bathroom,
Speaker 1: and we had a balcony. It's beautiful. Wow. Washroom driver
Speaker 1: in the building ship. I know.
Speaker 2: I had my own bathroom. I miss having my own bathroom.
Speaker 2: I gotta share this with others.
Speaker 1: I had a big ass bathroom. I had a small kitchen.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, cook so ramen, bitch, you don't need you
Speaker 1: don't need to gormet ramens.
Speaker 2: So it was artisanal walk, it was artisan water.
Speaker 1: I had to boil the egg shult have a little
Speaker 1: egg in it, little parmesan as. Yeah. But now my
Speaker 1: apartment is shut them down, open up shop. She's like
Speaker 1: she has like a couple months or whatever, a couple
Speaker 1: of months.
Speaker 2: All you got plenty of time to bring that TV down.
Speaker 1: No, but like no, he wants to clean out the
Speaker 1: basement immediately because it's gotta He's gonna the whole building
Speaker 1: is getting told he's gonna make like a cool million
Speaker 1: dollars off that you think probably more, probably more put.
Speaker 2: That whole food's there, he's gonna make. There'll be a
Speaker 2: cute meal.
Speaker 1: He got it less for less than a meal.
Speaker 2: Well, that's what I'm saying, like freaking like the Brownstones
Speaker 2: here in Brooklyn are going for like two million, so
Speaker 2: I feel like that part of Harliament it'll maybe be a.
Speaker 1: Little That's why we gotta get some money and buy
Speaker 1: something and buy a lit and flip that shit.
Speaker 2: No, buy it and just hold on to as long
Speaker 2: as we like.
Speaker 1: Till we get till we're old ladies, and then sell
Speaker 1: then sell it for like twenty million dollars.
Speaker 2: That's that because the because people will never stop moving
Speaker 2: to New York.
Speaker 1: That's true.
Speaker 2: People will always bring their dusty Wisconsin asses to New York.
Speaker 1: And I just want to let y'all people know to
Speaker 1: people who are like, oh my god, New York is everything.
Speaker 1: I can't wait. Yo, there's so many miserable people here.
Speaker 1: We've been here, We've been doing a shit that y'all
Speaker 1: come here, the tourists come here to take pictures up.
Speaker 1: We tied of the shit. It's a lot.
Speaker 2: It's cold for like six months.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's cold. You gotta have seven fucking jobs, dude.
Speaker 1: You here we are on the couch with not one
Speaker 1: job between two, Oh my god, not a single job
Speaker 1: between the two. And what this. You have to hustle.
Speaker 1: You gotta sell breast milk, you gotta sell your eggs.
Speaker 1: You gotta do all this shit to fucking live. But
Speaker 1: if we were gonna sell our eggs, we can make
Speaker 1: probably like twenty grand. You think, well, not mean? I could?
Speaker 1: You could, not mean, because I've done things.
Speaker 2: The weather, the diet, diet, myth eggs, it's wet, My
Speaker 2: eggs are farmed. The table sish, these are organic grasshead
Speaker 2: opera eggs.
Speaker 1: Minds are h what do you call it? It's group
Speaker 1: home eggs. You'ither halfway house? Yeah, halfway halfway house.
Speaker 2: Well, the thing about that is like when you're trying
Speaker 2: to sell your eggs, they pump you full of hormones,
Speaker 2: so you're like crying and bloated, and your period be mad,
Speaker 2: heavy and dupres, you.
Speaker 1: Know what I mean. Like it's a lot. That's the
Speaker 1: shit that's already going on in my life right now. Okay,
Speaker 1: so just add so add twenty thousand dollars to it. Okay, no,
Speaker 1: but more home hormones. I'm gonna jump off a bridge,
Speaker 1: so now I can't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I've never been on birth control because
Speaker 2: I feel like I don't need it. Uh but I
Speaker 2: just feel like, I mean, there's other ways to not
Speaker 2: get pregnant.
Speaker 1: Blout No, Sis's no, that's definitely not uh No.
Speaker 2: But what I was gonna say is because a lot
Speaker 2: of people that I know who do take birth control.
Speaker 2: First of all, everyone either gets fat, they gain like
Speaker 2: a bunch of weight, like Rihanna.
Speaker 1: Looks like now I was eating seven bacon, egg and cheese.
Speaker 1: Is a week like this?
Speaker 2: I would crave three a day for two days.
Speaker 1: It was weird, Like one day I'll od and have
Speaker 1: like three, and then one day I'll have one and
Speaker 1: the next day I have another. It's a lot. That's
Speaker 1: a lot of cholesterol. I will say, my butt was
Speaker 1: so freaking big, but your stomach flat. No, it was
Speaker 1: a little puffy, right, See, your butt was big, but
Speaker 1: your stomach was. Yeah, but the butt was so big
Speaker 1: that you wasn't concentrating on the fucking stomach.
Speaker 2: How long did you take breath control?
Speaker 1: For a year and I had depot and it it
Speaker 1: made me not a shot. I was miserable. Yeah, why
Speaker 1: because you for three months? For three months, for three months,
Speaker 1: you don't have to get a shot. It lasts for Yeah,
Speaker 1: all these things to stop myself from getting pregnant, and
Speaker 1: then there was a situation for youing well.
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, the main way to not get
Speaker 2: pregnant is to just not have sex with the dudes.
Speaker 1: I know, man, I haven't had to get a pregnancy
Speaker 1: test and so long that it's just I just want
Speaker 1: to go for shits and giggles. You've never taken a
Speaker 1: pregnancy test.
Speaker 2: Good for you, Marie, But my period was late last
Speaker 2: week and I was like to.
Speaker 1: Need to doo for you, bitch. It's scary now everybody
Speaker 1: lives that life, honestly.
Speaker 2: With with Plan B, what do we need to planned pregnancy?
Speaker 2: I mean pregnancy tests for or planned parenthood for You
Speaker 2: got seventy two hours of pop a Plan B like
Speaker 2: a skittle. I mean that's probably not good for you either.
Speaker 1: But yeah, but it's money. Though it's not any.
Speaker 2: Dollars, that's a lot. It's how much does an abortion cost.
Speaker 2: It's more than fifty Okay, so at a zero you're
Speaker 2: adding a decimal point.
Speaker 1: A decimal place is five hundred dollars and forty seven
Speaker 1: cents because of tax.
Speaker 2: I want to pay fifty dollars for a plan B
Speaker 2: and be embarrassed at my duane read, then pay five
Speaker 2: hundred dollars to go to plant parenthood and do it there.
Speaker 1: I'd rather just be a fucking lesbian. That's it. I
Speaker 1: don't have to worry about. No, come towel, I don't
Speaker 1: have to worry about I don't have to worry about
Speaker 1: a cumtwnt y'all got like a you have like a
Speaker 1: like a jiz rag. There's no jizz rag. So when
Speaker 1: you would do it like a warm a lukewarm like
Speaker 1: women when you go to the nail salon, or you
Speaker 1: like a Japanese spot when you go to a puto,
Speaker 1: they gave it the little towel. The tow No, we
Speaker 1: don't have that. You just women's ejaculation is different. It's
Speaker 1: it's cleaner, it's not as bessie and gross. It's not
Speaker 1: about there's still be a wet spot on the bed.
Speaker 1: We just laying it because it's ours. Have no problem,
Speaker 1: because it's ours, this mine e. You lay in the
Speaker 1: wet spot, it gets cold, you wake up, you be shivering.
Speaker 2: It's fine. Laying in that wet spot.
Speaker 1: Listen to male come is disgusting. It's like the consistency
Speaker 1: everything is gross. So like women's ship is so much different.
Speaker 1: It's cleaner, it's thinner, it's it's a laying. It's filtered.
Speaker 1: It's definitely filtered. It's brittal, it's brital com it's great
Speaker 1: m and my pH is balanced. So okay, could you
Speaker 1: be using what? I don't know. It's just you know
Speaker 1: what the problem with having unprotected sex is mixing your
Speaker 1: shit with dudes. That throws your pH off, and so
Speaker 1: it changes the consistency, it changes the smell. So it's
Speaker 1: just so, how.
Speaker 2: Do we feel about pineapples or like pineapple j I
Speaker 2: don't believe that shit.
Speaker 1: I don't believe it. No, I've never ever tasted it
Speaker 1: and been like, this tastes like ice cream? It does.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's not gonna taste like ice cream, dude,
Speaker 2: I think it just supposed to taste like less funky.
Speaker 1: It just doesn't taste good. It's not yummy. I don't
Speaker 1: want it.
Speaker 2: I don't think people think that it's yummy if they're
Speaker 2: not getting paid.
Speaker 1: When I watched them born, I'd be like, damn, bitch,
Speaker 1: you love it, but check. Yeah, I don't care how
Speaker 1: much money I'm getting. I've never tasted it and been.
Speaker 2: Like, you know it, just need a biscuit, no dollars
Speaker 2: to dip the biscuit in mail.
Speaker 1: I love this guy. I loved him. I loved his
Speaker 1: dirty draws. And I still was like, oh, please, don't
Speaker 1: get it away, girl, you love this guy.
Speaker 2: I've never even heard you say that you loved any
Speaker 2: of the dudes that you were with.
Speaker 1: I did. I loved him. I loved him. I thought
Speaker 1: I loved him. I don't even know what love is anymore.
Speaker 1: But anyway, I loved him, and I still was not
Speaker 1: into the let me come in your mouth. I mean,
Speaker 1: there was a couple of times where I was drunk
Speaker 1: and I said that ship, but I didn't really mean it.
Speaker 1: Did you swallow it? Did you spit it out? Sis,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna missed.
Speaker 2: You're gonna you're gonna plead the fIF whip for a fifth.
Speaker 1: Definitely clea the fifth on that. But you already know
Speaker 1: the answer. Yeah, I don't know my my old life.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'd be like I miss it and then there's
Speaker 1: sometimes where I'm like so glad that I'm not a
Speaker 1: part of that anymore.
Speaker 2: I mean, I see you now, you look great. You
Speaker 2: don't look like you lived hard and fast.
Speaker 1: So really, sometimes I'll be looking at myself and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I look like a young old person. I mean, you
Speaker 1: are a young old person. We're all young old people. Nah, dude,
Speaker 1: Well because old people used to be young.
Speaker 2: Sis that old lady that you won't give your seat
Speaker 2: up for on the subway, she was young once.
Speaker 1: She used to be able to skip.
Speaker 2: Look, there's this old lady that lives above me in
Speaker 2: this building, and she and she when I see her
Speaker 2: go outside, it'd be taking her mad loan to get
Speaker 2: to the dialysis van. Like it takes her legit like
Speaker 2: twenty minutes to get from the front door to the sidewalk.
Speaker 1: I don't like that hard, hard life. Look, it's not
Speaker 1: for me. Like I'll be seeing these indie films and
Speaker 1: I see bitches ain't got no concealer on and they
Speaker 1: look like they haven't slept, And then they get an
Speaker 1: award for that movie, and I'm like, I'll never do that.
Speaker 1: That's Charlie's Then I'm not doing monster. I'm not doing
Speaker 1: Holly Berry monster Ball. I'm not doing that. That's not
Speaker 1: for me.
Speaker 2: Then you're not gonna win the Academy Award.
Speaker 1: Somebody they send me an audition for a woman who
Speaker 1: literally like as a son, has had a hard life.
Speaker 1: She's like an ex drug addict. I said, why am
Speaker 1: I getting this?
Speaker 2: This is?
Speaker 1: Can I get the cute rolls before you put me
Speaker 1: into the dive? Me into this drama?
Speaker 2: The viol.
Speaker 1: I said, yeah, this is I can't connect, can't relate.
Speaker 2: Also, I'm out here for a drama. Like, can I
Speaker 2: do some comedic? I can't cute comedies? I was like, no,
Speaker 2: thank you. Can I do some maid in Manhattans?
Speaker 1: So you want me to not draw my eyebrows? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I can't speaking to draw. Why is
Speaker 1: there an X on your hand? Oh? Because my eyeliner
Speaker 1: is like drying out. So I just wanted to, you know,
Speaker 1: do a little. I thought you went to the club
Speaker 1: last night, and I mean it was like a lot
Speaker 1: of eyeliner on your It looks like you went to
Speaker 1: the club and got a stamped. No, girl, I don't
Speaker 1: go to the club no more. You know that we
Speaker 1: don't do that no more. And if we go, they're
Speaker 1: not stamping us. We just walking straight in we VP. No,
Speaker 1: they'd be like this, we can't take this ID. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they do that to you room all the time.
Speaker 2: We can't take this ID. So I'm gonna go to
Speaker 2: the d m V and get my life and you
Speaker 2: doing that. I'm gonna go to the d m V
Speaker 2: here because I need. I'm gonna change my address to
Speaker 2: hear what address do you have my parents address?
Speaker 1: Yo? You ready for that photo? Yo? Can I come
Speaker 1: with you? Can I hype you up while you take
Speaker 1: that picture.
Speaker 2: They're gonna be like, ma'am, please stand behind the yellow line.
Speaker 1: Yo. They're so like savage at the DMV. They don't
Speaker 1: want you to fucking win. They don't want you to
Speaker 1: have a decent picture. And it's like, yo, I have
Speaker 1: to have this picture for four years, six years.
Speaker 2: I don't even know how long it life.
Speaker 1: It's a minute. And it's just like they don't even
Speaker 1: give you no notice.
Speaker 2: They're like, okay, clip I mean. And I also need
Speaker 2: to get my passport expires next month, so I gotta
Speaker 2: get a new photo for that too. So maybe I'll
Speaker 2: just two birds one stone, like do them on the
Speaker 2: same day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you should.
Speaker 2: I gonna I'm gonna go to this before and get
Speaker 2: my makeup dofer. I'm gonna pay the sixty dollars, so
Speaker 2: you gotta get you a ring light too. That's what
Speaker 2: Chloe Kardashian did.
Speaker 1: She brought a ring my ring light to the sis.
Speaker 1: I'll come with you and I'll active. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, no, no, hold on, wait a minute. Chloe
Speaker 1: bought a ring light to get her license. I saw them. Oh,
Speaker 1: we didn't start well, we didn't start the podcast off
Speaker 1: with Marie has a mouse in her house and I
Speaker 1: just fucking saw it. Oh my god, underneath the fridge. Wow,
Speaker 1: your mouse capades are just you talk about it on
Speaker 1: Instant Stories and I laughed. But now I'm really here
Speaker 1: and that was not funny. That was not that was
Speaker 1: not hilarious. Wow, oh my god, my god, people, I'm
Speaker 1: reporting live from the mouse from the mouse's house.
Speaker 2: I can't believe we didn't put it in Yo.
Speaker 1: It went past like it.
Speaker 2: Lives here, nigga. It was a little tiny one though,
Speaker 2: right Yo.
Speaker 1: But the way it didn't run fast enough for it
Speaker 1: to be like it's not comfortable Instant Stories. It's strolling.
Speaker 2: I saw it yesterday just it waved. It waved to me,
Speaker 2: went to the mouse traps, smelled it and then just walked.
Speaker 2: It was like, no not it came by. It was like,
Speaker 2: hey girl, it was it just greeted me.
Speaker 1: Wave.
Speaker 2: It was smoking a cigarette.
Speaker 1: It had a do rag on and some TEMs. The
Speaker 1: tail was out. Oh my god, Marie was so loud
Speaker 1: you blew out the speaker. I fuck so sorry guys.
Speaker 1: So this is what happened my room. The dude that
Speaker 1: my roommate is dating came yesterday to drop off some
Speaker 1: new traps and uh, oh she got mouse trapped, dick, Yeah,
Speaker 1: mouse trap pussy.
Speaker 2: So he was like, oh, the mouse is dead. It
Speaker 2: was in her radiator.
Speaker 1: I threw it away downstairs and then I saw the
Speaker 1: fuel tiny.
Speaker 2: Mouse right after he left, and I was like, so
Speaker 2: we had two miles.
Speaker 1: You think the one because he threw one in.
Speaker 2: The trash yesterday, and then after he left, the little
Speaker 2: one is still here.
Speaker 1: Marie, this is fucking nuts. I'm telling you that was
Speaker 1: It's your building, dude.
Speaker 2: I know it's my building because I've been seeing them outside.
Speaker 1: It's your building that doesn't look like it's from like here.
Speaker 1: It's just no, no, no, no, no, that mouse was not
Speaker 1: born in Britain. No no, no, no, that's a that's a trap.
Speaker 1: That's an Airbnb mouse. Yeah, Marie, it's fucking scary under
Speaker 1: the refrigerator, Like, how are you comfortable? I'm not, yo,
Speaker 1: I haven't day. I had a mouse in my apartment
Speaker 1: in Harlem, but it had been in my apartment four
Speaker 1: months and I had never seen it. But I saw
Speaker 1: a couple of droppings and I was like, what the
Speaker 1: fuck is this? And then I had went in a
Speaker 1: bag and it had like ate up all this paper
Speaker 1: or whatever. It was like trying to make a little nest.
Speaker 1: And so finally it started coming out in the day
Speaker 1: and I like looked it up and it was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: when they start coming out in the day, they're desperate
Speaker 1: for food. And I was like, oh, yeah, we ain't
Speaker 1: got no can goods here, no nothing, No, there was
Speaker 1: no food in my house none. It was destitute. It
Speaker 1: was like I lived in a nice apartment no food.
Speaker 1: So it would come out and it looked like angry
Speaker 1: because it was just like, dude, how am I supposed
Speaker 1: to survive? And I'm like, you're not. You got to
Speaker 1: go to three Beach. Yeah. So then I put down
Speaker 1: the traps, I did the peanut butter, I did everything, cheese,
Speaker 1: every them niggas was like, no, why are you hitting
Speaker 1: this these old school traps? Like No, and Jerry, because
Speaker 1: remember Tom and Jerry, They're like, we're smarter than this.
Speaker 2: He was really Jerry was really smart.
Speaker 1: That mouse was like I went to de Rye to live,
Speaker 1: I'd come here to die with these old ass mouse straps.
Speaker 1: So anyway, finally my roommate was had ordered a pizza
Speaker 1: and we get the pizza and we opened up the
Speaker 1: box and we was about to go ham on this pizza.
Speaker 1: The fucking mouse came out, jumped on the dresser and
Speaker 1: basically was like, where's my slice? It looked at us.
Speaker 1: It was the scariest thing that the mouse stopped. It
Speaker 1: was on the dresser and was literally like where's my
Speaker 1: fucking size and said, oh, we gotta go. So so
Speaker 1: we got those plugs, the plugs that are supposed to
Speaker 1: deter the mice. It's supposed to send out, send out
Speaker 1: signals and ship. So that was cool, like it wouldn't
Speaker 1: go in certain spaces. And then my roommate found those
Speaker 1: pellets the heavy dudey pellets said like, if you touch it,
Speaker 1: you're gonna get sick, and had that and immediately it died. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the freaking super I was complaining to him today and
Speaker 1: he was like, I got some poison. I'll bring it
Speaker 1: to you.
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, well where are the poison at.
Speaker 1: Dude stated, now I'm devastated for you because you're one
Speaker 1: of my cleanest friends. This thing.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much. I always thought I was one
Speaker 2: of my cleanest friends. I was like, I'm cleaner than
Speaker 2: everybody that I know. Let me tell you something. Okay,
Speaker 2: this mouse only comes out when I got company on
Speaker 2: this couch. Oh that mouse is trying to embarrass you,
Speaker 2: bitch exactly. That's an embarrassing ass mouth.
Speaker 1: When I'm here by myself, the mouse be like it'd
Speaker 1: be sleep, but here the mouse. The mouse puts on
Speaker 1: his good clothes and it's like, hey guys.
Speaker 2: He's like, I'm ditty to see this new blazon. Yeah
Speaker 2: you see this new fashion nova.
Speaker 1: I gotta you know. The mouse was harlem shaking. It's
Speaker 1: it was like, take this money, make this money.
Speaker 2: It's daytime one the sun is up, and I thought
Speaker 2: they were supposed to be nocturnal, and then they hear it,
Speaker 2: hears us talking, and.
Speaker 1: It's like, well, let me come ouse. In New York City,
Speaker 1: mice and rats are not nocturnal. They're like, I live
Speaker 1: in a city that never sleeps. I'm getting no sleep.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to bed during the day. It's too
Speaker 1: much going on. The rats don't know when it is
Speaker 1: daylight or nighttime because they be underground on that loud ass,
Speaker 1: dirty ass subway. So of course the rat the mouse
Speaker 1: had a shape up like I fucking camp, I'm done, Yo,
Speaker 1: we gotta get out of here looking for it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we have to go. I mean, I guess we
Speaker 2: just won't keep this episode real short. Today, this this
Speaker 2: feels like it should be a bonus episode because of
Speaker 2: how sensitive this mouse material is.
Speaker 1: But everybody's got to know. But you be on the
Speaker 1: inswert stories and I'm like, oh, man, I wish you
Speaker 1: would post more about this mouse. Like I feel like
Speaker 1: you should do, like set the scene, do a plot story,
Speaker 1: like make create something more than just the mouse. I
Speaker 1: had a show on Monday, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't want to be here, guys, but I have a
Speaker 1: mouse in my house. I'm not here because I like comedy.
Speaker 1: I just hate my dirty ass house, right, And everybody
Speaker 1: was looking at me like, well, we don't want to
Speaker 1: be here either, and I was like, obviously, y'all don't
Speaker 1: have Netflix.
Speaker 2: Because you're here not laughing at my mouse.
Speaker 1: They were laughing at the mouth, which is weird because
Speaker 1: everybody I know has had like a mouse or some
Speaker 1: type of bug or something. This New York City, I
Speaker 1: never had a mouse. Like I'd never seen a live
Speaker 1: mouse in my house. Oh, my grandmother had like bronx
Speaker 1: rats in her fucking apartment. Bronx like they came out
Speaker 1: the oven. I was like, didn't we just have the
Speaker 1: oven on? It was like they were like, yo, we're
Speaker 1: tanning right now. They had a tanning bed. They thought
Speaker 1: the oven was a tanning bed.
Speaker 2: They had on blue Yankee fitted.
Speaker 1: Yo. Those they were big ass rats and they were
Speaker 1: and I would have to come to my grandmother's place,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I don't want to be here, Like
Speaker 1: I don't love my grandmother that much. Actually, I don't
Speaker 1: even really like my grandmother that much. If if the
Speaker 1: rats they were huge and like they're like, oh Graanmmy's
Speaker 1: gonna make food and I'm like, well, I'm not eating it.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna eat there. This doesn't feel like the
Speaker 2: type of place that I want to eat.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry for you, find I see the stress
Speaker 1: in your face. Sis.
Speaker 2: I've just been annoyed all week.
Speaker 1: I know you text me. You text me the other
Speaker 1: day and I was like, is she breaking up with me? Dude?
Speaker 2: I'm breaking up with everybody, Seriously, I'm breaking.
Speaker 1: Up with comedy.
Speaker 2: I'm breaking up with this apartment, the hinge. I'm breaking
Speaker 2: up with the Naoki niggas, the Nyoki niggas, the opera niggas,
Speaker 2: all the niggas, the Michelin star niggas.
Speaker 1: Please don't we need you, Marie? What am I going
Speaker 1: to do? Dude?
Speaker 2: I can't. It's not like I have a job to
Speaker 2: go to in the day.
Speaker 1: Now. I be home with this mouse. But you say
Speaker 1: it doesn't come out until you have company, So I
Speaker 1: gotta stop having people come over. I got to sit
Speaker 1: here in silence with this mouse. You should write poetry
Speaker 1: for the mouse. I should write some.
Speaker 2: Mean ass rude at like I'm got copedy.
Speaker 1: I really didn't even remember the mouse until I just
Speaker 1: saw it. You've been talking about it for like two
Speaker 1: weeks now.
Speaker 2: Sis, it's been a week because I saw it last Friday.
Speaker 1: It's been a cool week. It just feels like it's
Speaker 1: been more. Yeah, it's been a week.
Speaker 2: I saw it last week and then I saw it
Speaker 2: again on so.
Speaker 1: But I mean, didn't they have like a little mouse
Speaker 1: trap and it was something on it? Told me? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Remember I put my foot on the glue.
Speaker 1: It was a mouse on the It was so tiny.
Speaker 1: But that's what I feel like. This is nah, bitch,
Speaker 1: that was bigger than that fucking little mouse that you had.
Speaker 1: That that's the mother to that fucking mouse.
Speaker 2: It's two mice in here. Still, I gotta get some poison,
Speaker 2: poison poison.
Speaker 1: If I put these pellets down and the mouse eats it,
Speaker 1: is it die right after it eats it or something,
Speaker 1: it's gonna go somewhere. It's gonna feel sick, and then
Speaker 1: it's just gonna die.
Speaker 2: So I'm not gonna stumble across the mouse when I
Speaker 2: get out the shower, is what you saying.
Speaker 1: No, I don't think so, no, no, no, no, they go
Speaker 1: away because they're trying to figure out what the fuck
Speaker 1: is wrong with them. Okay, as long as I'm not
Speaker 1: going to fall out the no no no no no
Speaker 1: no no. But it actually is better if they come
Speaker 1: out and die because then you can dispose it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I don't want it to die behind my
Speaker 2: stove or under my refrigerator.
Speaker 1: I think my little field mouse it since I had
Speaker 1: a basement. I think it went in the basement and died.
Speaker 1: And since his a basement, Like I didn't smell everything smellment,
Speaker 1: I didn't smell anything. But also my nose was just
Speaker 1: like dead anyway from melting cocaine all of the blow. Yeah,
Speaker 1: your hands, How big this mouse is that you just saw?
Speaker 1: And I feel like you're not really good with size.
Speaker 1: It's just me wow, Okay, I feel like the one
Speaker 1: that was on the thing was that big. No sins,
Speaker 1: it was a lot smaller. It was so tiny. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, look at the I almost got sad.
Speaker 2: I was like, look at the baby.
Speaker 1: I can't.
Speaker 2: Like, I gotta wear boots in my apartments.
Speaker 1: All right, people, listeners, we gotta do a little prayer circle.
Speaker 1: You also got to hit up the venmo. I mean,
Speaker 1: this is something that we should reach. You should reach
Speaker 1: out and send something or prayers. What is it? Thoughts?
Speaker 1: And prayers. Can you your thoughts and prayers be currents
Speaker 1: thoughts and prayers and funds. Yes, send thoughts and prayers
Speaker 1: and Venmo send us some money because I'm a part
Speaker 1: of this mouse situation now as well. I'm triggered. Just
Speaker 1: I just saw it and I was like, I thought
Speaker 1: about the mouse. I had to play scream so loud.
Speaker 1: Send me where under the fridge? It literally went in
Speaker 1: the I was like, yo, I think he went in
Speaker 1: with beverage. Yeah, It's like it was like, y'all need.
Speaker 2: Anything, yeah, yo, brita filter.
Speaker 1: Yo. The mouse went to the corner store and came
Speaker 1: back to drop some ship off, and it's gonna go
Speaker 1: back out looking I'm looking at the fridge.
Speaker 2: Which corner of the did that corner right there?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah? Yikes, man, this is fucking ridiculous. Got to
Speaker 1: get out. You're better than this this dirty ass house. Guys.
Speaker 2: Uh, don't forget to listen to the Patreon episodes.
Speaker 1: We might maybe explore this mouse a little bit further.
Speaker 1: We're gonna try to get him to settle down and
Speaker 1: talk to us. I think we should be our next guest.
Speaker 1: We could just sit down and talk to them and
Speaker 1: be like to why this place, I will throw the microphones.
Speaker 1: We have more than one microphone, so I definitely feel
Speaker 1: like we can get a little little time in with
Speaker 1: this mouse sis.
Speaker 2: Let me get my shoes back one guys, thank you
Speaker 2: for listening to this nasty ass and gross ass, dirty
Speaker 2: ass episode of the podcast.
Speaker 1: We'll see you next week. Make sure you go to iTunes,
Speaker 1: you know, review, comment, all that good stuff, and then
Speaker 1: we have our monthly show at at all Is at
Speaker 1: a PMS May thirtieth, at all one ninety one Christy Street.
Speaker 1: You should come come.
Speaker 2: See us after you your Memorial Day weekend barbecues and
Speaker 2: bring poison for the.
Speaker 1: Rapt Yes, bring a lot of poison and bring money
Speaker 1: as well.
Speaker 2: Las Y