Speaker 1: Let's be honest. Life is stressful, its work, its relationships
Speaker 1: and the state of the world. But there's a way
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Speaker 1: Calm your Mind, Change your Life. No one says I
Speaker 1: love money, but everyone agrees that they appreciate what money
Speaker 1: brings them peace of mind, diminished anxiety. Most of us
Speaker 1: are rightly worried about what will happen in the future,
Speaker 1: and if nothing else, money gives us the false confidence
Speaker 1: to believe that what happens good or bad will probably
Speaker 1: be okay. But absent the concept of money, what else
Speaker 1: can rich mean? What does it mean, for example, to
Speaker 1: live a rich life? The Number one Health and Wellness
Speaker 1: Podcast Jay Setty Jay Shetty, Hey everyone, welcome back to
Speaker 1: On Purpose. I'm Jay Shechetty, and as always, I'm so
Speaker 1: grateful you're taking the time to be with me here
Speaker 1: for our latest episode. If you've been listening recently, you
Speaker 1: know we've had some incredible guests, incredible workshops for our
Speaker 1: fridays and it just keeps getting better. Whenever any of
Speaker 1: you tell me when I bump into you that you've
Speaker 1: been listening, you've left a review that you or enjoying
Speaker 1: and appreciating the guests and the conversations. I truly appreciate
Speaker 1: the depth of what you share with me. So if
Speaker 1: you ever see me, let me know it means the
Speaker 1: world to me and I'm so grateful to have you
Speaker 1: here today. As we talk about this theme of defining wealth,
Speaker 1: defining success, not chasing and pursuing the things that other
Speaker 1: people are important, but actually focusing on the things that
Speaker 1: we believe are a priority, living our lives on our terms,
Speaker 1: focused and fixated on our goals that are truly ours.
Speaker 1: Right when someone tells me their dream, the first thing
Speaker 1: I asked them if their dream is really their dream?
Speaker 1: Or is it their mothers or fathers, their sisters or brothers,
Speaker 1: their family members, their teacher in school, whatever it may be.
Speaker 1: So many of us use our time chasing a dream
Speaker 1: that isn't even ours. And in order to take us
Speaker 1: on this journey today, I want to ask you a question.
Speaker 1: And when I ask you this question, a lot of
Speaker 1: you may see it as a simple matter of math,
Speaker 1: and the question can be easily answered by plugging it
Speaker 1: into Google or chat GPT. The question is who's the
Speaker 1: richest man in the world. Now, it's probably safe to
Speaker 1: say that most of us to find the word rich
Speaker 1: in exactly the same way money. Who has the most
Speaker 1: assets or resources or stuff. Who has the greatest number
Speaker 1: of houses around the world, a supercar collection, maybe horses, artwork,
Speaker 1: wine collection, swimming pools, tennis courts, whatever it may be.
Speaker 1: Maybe they own a football team. Now, if you go online,
Speaker 1: the answer comes up at once. Right now. In the
Speaker 1: latter part of twenty twenty four, when I'm recording this.
Speaker 1: The richest man in the world is the tech entrepreneur
Speaker 1: Elon Musk, who owns X, which used to be known
Speaker 1: as Twitter, and companies like tech SpaceX and Starlink. If
Speaker 1: online estimates can be believed, today Elon Musk has a
Speaker 1: net worth of two one hundred and sixty three billion dollars.
Speaker 1: Others on the Richest Man in the World list, which
Speaker 1: is heavy on fortunes derived from technology, are in second
Speaker 1: place Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon dot Com with
Speaker 1: two hundred and twenty four billion dollars, and down the
Speaker 1: list Larry Ellison of Oracle, Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft,
Speaker 1: and Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Meta. But today I
Speaker 1: want to challenge us to look at wealth and richness
Speaker 1: through a different lens. Now, I've never been one to
Speaker 1: say money doesn't buy happiness. I think money can solve
Speaker 1: lots of problems, and I actually believe that learning to manage,
Speaker 1: invest and grow our financial stability is a really important skill.
Speaker 1: And we have other episodes with experts on the show
Speaker 1: about that. But today I really want to focus on
Speaker 1: this idea of how we define wealth, what we think
Speaker 1: of as rich, and the truth is rich is personal?
Speaker 1: Two years ago, the financial services firm Charles Schwab conducted
Speaker 1: a survey of one thousand Americans from twenty one to
Speaker 1: seventy five. What does it take to be considered wealthy
Speaker 1: or rich? Respondents were asked. When the results were crunched,
Speaker 1: the somewhat random answer came in at around two point
Speaker 1: two million dollars. Now why that particular figure, No one
Speaker 1: has a clue, especially since the net worth of the
Speaker 1: average American household is approximately one hundred and twenty thousand dollars,
Speaker 1: all of which goes to show that if your net
Speaker 1: worth exceeds one hundred and twenty thousand dollars, you may
Speaker 1: not be rich in the sense of having two point
Speaker 1: two million dollars, but you're better off than most of
Speaker 1: your fellow Americans. Now why even ask this question? Partly
Speaker 1: because in the US, at least, we live in a
Speaker 1: culture that's preoccupied with the making, spending, and sometimes flaunting
Speaker 1: of money. One of the greatest privileges of being able
Speaker 1: to work, live and travel abroad is the recognition that
Speaker 1: what we assume to be universally true is in fact
Speaker 1: more of a function of where you grew up and
Speaker 1: where you live. As listeners to this show, you know
Speaker 1: I was born in London, lived in India for some
Speaker 1: time while I was a monk, and across the UK
Speaker 1: during that time, and moved to the US nearly a
Speaker 1: decade ago. It's been around eight years now. One of
Speaker 1: the first things I noticed is that in America, one
Speaker 1: of the most common questions I was ever asked is
Speaker 1: what do you do for a living? And it's really
Speaker 1: interesting if you think about it. All of us at
Speaker 1: an event are asked, what do you do? What do
Speaker 1: you do for work? Our work has become our identity,
Speaker 1: right what we do as our career has defined our personalities.
Speaker 1: But if you look at around the globe, asking another
Speaker 1: person what they do for a living might be actually
Speaker 1: a bit more rare, and we might find that bizarre
Speaker 1: because we don't even know of a place like that.
Speaker 1: Cultures like Scandinavia are intensely private, to the point where
Speaker 1: entering an elevator and saying hello to the other passengers
Speaker 1: is seen almost as personal trespass. Now, I'm not proposing
Speaker 1: one or the other, and making the point as to
Speaker 1: how much our identity gets wrapped up in the work
Speaker 1: we do. I remember having the fortune of sitting down
Speaker 1: with the late Kobe Bryant, and what I was amazed
Speaker 1: by was that he was an athlete who is at
Speaker 1: peace in retirement, which is very rare because naturally, so
Speaker 1: much of your identity becomes about playing the sport. It
Speaker 1: becomes about being known as one of the best athletes
Speaker 1: of all time. But he was able to detach and
Speaker 1: disconnect from that and create a new identity at the
Speaker 1: fortune of interviewing Tom Hanks recently, just a couple of
Speaker 1: weeks ago on the podcast, and what I sensed from
Speaker 1: him was that he was peace in his career. And yes,
Speaker 1: you could say he's had a largely successful career. Of course,
Speaker 1: he has sort of phenomenal career, but it was also
Speaker 1: that he wasn't hanging on to it, he wasn't chasing it.
Speaker 1: There was a peace around him. And that's what I
Speaker 1: was trying to understand. What's the difference between someone who
Speaker 1: achieves and has peace. So it's almost like someone who
Speaker 1: achieves and receives peace versus someone who achieves and then
Speaker 1: just needs to keep achieving. And what do we define
Speaker 1: as an achievement? So has rich always been linked to money?
Speaker 1: Is a really interesting question to look at, and the
Speaker 1: answer is yes, And he goes all the way back
Speaker 1: to the Middle Ages. The original Old English word rice
Speaker 1: spelled exactly like the carbohydrate led to the word rich.
Speaker 1: Even back then, rice referred directly to how much money
Speaker 1: a person had, and was also connected to power, strength,
Speaker 1: and high social status. So from early on in our
Speaker 1: evolution as humans, there has been a strong link between money, power, rulership,
Speaker 1: and the attendant regard of others. Arguably the same is
Speaker 1: true today. Now, what I'm interested in this episode to
Speaker 1: do is not to discourage you from having financial ambitions.
Speaker 1: I don't believe that that's the point. What I've realized
Speaker 1: actually is that it's not whether you have something or
Speaker 1: don't that makes you happy when it comes to material,
Speaker 1: physical things, it's what you don't have. So, for example,
Speaker 1: if you have money and envy, that will ruin you.
Speaker 1: If you have money and ego, that will ruin you.
Speaker 1: If you have money and a lack of gratitude, that
Speaker 1: will ruin you. And if you have money and no envy,
Speaker 1: that's beautiful. If you have money and no ego, that's beautiful.
Speaker 1: If you have money and gratitude, that's incredible. So what
Speaker 1: I found over time that the missing link wasn't about
Speaker 1: the material thing, It was about the emotional part of
Speaker 1: the experience of having or not having that thing. That quality,
Speaker 1: that attribute is what transformed how we felt. Okay, I
Speaker 1: am so excited about this because we've got the first
Speaker 1: ever merch drop for on Purpose. It's finally here and
Speaker 1: for world Mental Health. Today we're doing an exclusive limited
Speaker 1: edition drop with all the proceeds going to the National
Speaker 1: Alliance on Mental Illness NAMI. So now you can wear
Speaker 1: your on Purpose merch, listen to the podcast and know
Speaker 1: that you two are having an impact. I want to
Speaker 1: thank you so much in advance. I can't wait to
Speaker 1: see all of your pictures wearing the merch, their sweatshirts,
Speaker 1: the hat t shirts. Check it out on our website
Speaker 1: jshetdyshop dot com. That's Jshettishop dot com. And remember, one
Speaker 1: hundred percent of the proceeds go to NAMI. So today,
Speaker 1: what I want to explore is different ways in which
Speaker 1: we can be rich, different ways in which we can
Speaker 1: be wealthy, because I really believe that part of it
Speaker 1: is creating an abundance mindset. That's what this episode is
Speaker 1: really about. How do we create a rich, abundant mindset
Speaker 1: as opposed to this scarcity mindset. The poverty in our
Speaker 1: mind is contagious, right, so how do we change that?
Speaker 1: Experience has always told me that no matter who you are,
Speaker 1: humans want to feel a sense of contentment, a sense
Speaker 1: of ease in their lives. They seek a sense of purpose,
Speaker 1: which they often find in their work, and they seek
Speaker 1: social bonds in love. If you're a man whose biological
Speaker 1: goal it is to provide for and protect your family,
Speaker 1: your happiness can derive from the job you do and
Speaker 1: the positive feelings you derive from making sure your loved
Speaker 1: ones are safe and attended to. But let's also be
Speaker 1: very clear. Money, even though no one likes to talk
Speaker 1: about it, matters. Money is important. No one says I
Speaker 1: love money, but everyone agrees that they appreciate what money
Speaker 1: brings them peace of mind, diminished anxiety. Most of us
Speaker 1: have rightly won worried about what will happen in the future,
Speaker 1: and if nothing else, money gives us the false confidence
Speaker 1: to believe that what happens, good or bad, will probably
Speaker 1: be okay. But absent the concept of money, what else
Speaker 1: can rich mean? What does it mean, for example, to
Speaker 1: live a rich life. A few years ago, I read
Speaker 1: a wonderful article in the newspaper where the writers spoke
Speaker 1: about the difference between resume virtues and eulogy virtues. In
Speaker 1: the first category are those abilities and credentials that people
Speaker 1: bring to their workplace, and in the second category are
Speaker 1: those qualities that people discuss and get emotional about and
Speaker 1: remember once you're gone. These are known as eulogy virtues.
Speaker 1: And while there may occasionally be some overlap between the two,
Speaker 1: it's striking that in the second category are the words
Speaker 1: such as honest and loyal, and a good friend and
Speaker 1: a loving husband and parent, and a great number of
Speaker 1: our community. But as the article i read pointed out,
Speaker 1: if we focus exclusively on our resume virtues, there will
Speaker 1: inevitably come a time in our lives when we begin
Speaker 1: feeling a little bit hollow, as though we've missed the
Speaker 1: point of life. This was what it was all about
Speaker 1: all along, getting another promotion, earning a bigger paycheck, staying
Speaker 1: at high end hotels. Suddenly you consider friends of yours
Speaker 1: who maybe haven't made the same investment in their careers
Speaker 1: as you have, who've lived quieter, steadier lives, filled with children,
Speaker 1: good meals, the occasional vacation, and the effort to make
Speaker 1: a difference in the worlds they inhabit. Maybe they haven't
Speaker 1: won an award, maybe they haven't gone close to earning
Speaker 1: millions of dollars, but they've lived a rich life as well, learning, growing,
Speaker 1: and being. This isn't again to discourage you. It's to say,
Speaker 1: what parts of your wealth do you want to expand
Speaker 1: what parts have you not invested in? Rich then has
Speaker 1: a lot to do with the choices we make about
Speaker 1: what is meaning and what doesn't. What does it mean
Speaker 1: to lead a rich and meaningful life? It's a question
Speaker 1: nearly everyone confronts at some point in their own journey,
Speaker 1: and one that great thinkers and philosophers have been wrestling
Speaker 1: with since the beginning of time. Even asking this question
Speaker 1: is a positive step, as it gives us space from
Speaker 1: what the world appears to define as having meaning, example, behaviors, habits,
Speaker 1: and rituals that lead only to accumulation of economic growth.
Speaker 1: You may ask yourself, who am I and why am
Speaker 1: I doing what I'm doing in this life? Is this
Speaker 1: something I love doing? If it isn't, then what do
Speaker 1: I want to do instead? What was I put here
Speaker 1: for this isn't just about what we do for a living,
Speaker 1: It's about the very why of our being. I couldn't
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Speaker 1: boost your metabolism, give you a natural kick of caffeine,
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Speaker 1: calories per can we believe in nurturing and energizing your
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Speaker 1: visit Drinkjuni dot com today to elevate your wellness journey
Speaker 1: and use code on Purpose to receive fifteen percent of
Speaker 1: your first order. That's drink Jauni dot com and make
Speaker 1: sure you use the code on Purpose. Some psychologists define
Speaker 1: meaning as being about coherence and purpose, the understanding we
Speaker 1: have of our lives and the direction where we hope
Speaker 1: they're going. Others argue that significance is just as important
Speaker 1: as coherence and purpose, that we need to have a
Speaker 1: sense of our lives intrinsic value. But regardless of what
Speaker 1: you believe, meaning in the search for meaning will always
Speaker 1: be a personal endeavor. There are no right answers. The
Speaker 1: way I found meaning in my life may not be
Speaker 1: how you find meaning in yours. That doesn't mean that
Speaker 1: one is better or worse. This isn't a competition, and
Speaker 1: there are no prizes awarded at the end. It just
Speaker 1: means that meaning and the search for meaning is an
Speaker 1: individual as people are. That said, a rich and meaningful
Speaker 1: life tends to have a few things in common. The
Speaker 1: first is that it involves passion, caring deeply about what
Speaker 1: you do for a living or even the hobbies in
Speaker 1: your life. Making and sustaining strong social relationships is another
Speaker 1: important factor, as there is a connection among the strength
Speaker 1: of our friendships, our sense of belonging in our perception
Speaker 1: that our lives are full and meaningful. Finally, there's our
Speaker 1: overall positivity. The more positive our mood and the more
Speaker 1: we feel in control of our environments will also enhance
Speaker 1: our sense of meaning. Let me give you another way
Speaker 1: to look at the richness of life. As humans, we're
Speaker 1: all given two things, time and energy. We use both
Speaker 1: to foster experiences and create social interactions in our lives.
Speaker 1: Time in varying measures is one of the foundations of
Speaker 1: being born and of being human. It's when our personal
Speaker 1: clock starts ticking. We all know we have time, we
Speaker 1: just don't know how much or when that time will
Speaker 1: run out. If we're privileged to be in good health
Speaker 1: and we live it an era in a culture where
Speaker 1: life is relatively peaceful, chances are good that we will
Speaker 1: live a normal life lifespan, which today in the US
Speaker 1: at least is eighty years for women and nearly seventy
Speaker 1: five years for men, averaging out between the two sexes
Speaker 1: at seventy seven years. We're also given energy or vitality,
Speaker 1: physical and mental power, the capacity to engage in work,
Speaker 1: and to exert ourselves together. Time and energy form the
Speaker 1: basis of every one of our lives. What does it
Speaker 1: mean then, when we ask ourselves who's the richest man
Speaker 1: in the world, and of course ultimately who's the richest
Speaker 1: person in the world? Only focused on the male gender
Speaker 1: for the perspective of asking this question. But what makes
Speaker 1: us feel the richest. We've talked about money, We've talked
Speaker 1: about qualities, but it leaves us with the greatest gift.
Speaker 1: It's how we use our time and energy. Someone can
Speaker 1: be time rich because they have lots of time. We
Speaker 1: often talk about feeling time poor. These days, we're running
Speaker 1: from meeting to meeting, running from this to that, So
Speaker 1: we're time poor and maybe money okay, But what about
Speaker 1: being time rich? That's value? What about being energy rich?
Speaker 1: We take care of our energy, We manage our energy.
Speaker 1: I want us to expand our definition of rich so
Speaker 1: that time and energy are also there. Tris like money.
Speaker 1: According to one survey, We'll spend twenty eight years of
Speaker 1: our lifetime sleeping, fifteen years engaged in work, thirteen years relaxing,
Speaker 1: seven years performing everyday household chores, five years socializing, and
Speaker 1: four years eating and drinking. Over the course of an
Speaker 1: average lifetime, we'll work a dozen jobs and interact with
Speaker 1: roughly eighty thousand people. Our heart will beat two point
Speaker 1: nine two billion times, or one hundred thousand beats a day,
Speaker 1: and our eyes will blink four hundred and twenty million times,
Speaker 1: or around five point three million blinks per year. We'll
Speaker 1: take six hundred and seventy two million breaths and walk
Speaker 1: roughly sixty three thousand miles. That's what it means to
Speaker 1: be alive, and it's so important that we figure out
Speaker 1: how we want to use that time alive. So let's
Speaker 1: really look at richness as beyond money. When we're thinking
Speaker 1: about our lives and think about is this a year
Speaker 1: where I want to be wealthy and travel? Is this
Speaker 1: a year where I want to be wealthy in experiences.
Speaker 1: I remember speaking to our friend the other day and
Speaker 1: he was like, you know, the last couple of years,
Speaker 1: I haven't made as much money as I you know,
Speaker 1: usually do. And I said to him, but you fell
Speaker 1: in love, You found the greatest wealth of all, you
Speaker 1: found a life partner that you've proposed to you're going
Speaker 1: to get married to. Like, what an incredible investment. And
Speaker 1: I think it's a really interesting thing that we have
Speaker 1: to think about where it's like there are going to
Speaker 1: be seasons in our life. Some seasons are all about
Speaker 1: financial growth, some seasons are all about family growth, some
Speaker 1: seasons are all about relationship growth. And I think what
Speaker 1: makes our life hard and complicated is either when we're
Speaker 1: trying to do all of them all at once, or
Speaker 1: we feel bad that we're prioritizing one. Right, there's a
Speaker 1: feeling that when we're prioritizing our financial health and our
Speaker 1: financial wealth, that we're some way we feel guilty that
Speaker 1: we're not investing in the other things. And guess what
Speaker 1: it takes away from the joy from building your financial position.
Speaker 1: And then when you're spending time with friends and family,
Speaker 1: you're then feeling guilty that you're not building your company.
Speaker 1: And so what we do is we actually let our
Speaker 1: internal state be clouded by shame and guilt for what
Speaker 1: we're focused on. So I'm here to remind you. Let's
Speaker 1: take away that shame and guilt. Let's take away that judgment.
Speaker 1: Let's focus in on the real thing, the real growth, right,
Speaker 1: let's focus in on going. Okay, what season am I in?
Speaker 1: What year am I in? Is this a year where
Speaker 1: I'm really focused on my career or is this a
Speaker 1: year where I'm really really focused on my family? Or
Speaker 1: is this a year that I really need to focus
Speaker 1: on love? And I think so many of us are
Speaker 1: trying to do everything all at the same time, that
Speaker 1: we don't achieve anything, and then we feel worse, And
Speaker 1: I think often we're made to feel guilty and judged
Speaker 1: for focusing, for prioritizing, but we all know it's so
Speaker 1: hard otherwise, Right, what have you ever achieved when you
Speaker 1: weren't focusing. I know there was a part of my
Speaker 1: work that I kept trying to outsource for the last
Speaker 1: few years. It's been something I'm really passionate about, but
Speaker 1: I haven't had the time because I've been working on
Speaker 1: so many other things. In the last twelve months, I
Speaker 1: decided to put so much more focus on it, and
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, it was transformative. It shifted, it moved.
Speaker 1: And so if we don't move our energy towards something
Speaker 1: it won't move. And if we're trying to equally perfectly
Speaker 1: divide up our energy across a couple of areas, across
Speaker 1: a couple of things, we you know, recognize that that's
Speaker 1: all we're going to ever get back from it, right,
Speaker 1: That's all we're ever going to get back from it. Now.
Speaker 1: When you look at Bronnie wears beautiful book about the
Speaker 1: five Regrets of the Dying, she says they are, I
Speaker 1: wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings tell them.
Speaker 1: If you've got someone that you need to open your
Speaker 1: heart to this week, you want to open your heart
Speaker 1: to tell them. The second is I wish I'd stayed
Speaker 1: in touch with my friends. Call that person, reach out,
Speaker 1: don't hold back. The third is I wish I'd lived
Speaker 1: a life true to myself, not the life that other
Speaker 1: people expected of me. That's what I was talking about earlier.
Speaker 1: What is rich for you? Define rich, Define wealthy, Define
Speaker 1: wealth this year. Don't be pulled and pushed around by
Speaker 1: the opinions of others. The fourth is I wish I
Speaker 1: hadn't worked so hard. And I think that's a challenging
Speaker 1: one because we all have to work to survive, and
Speaker 1: I think we'll all feel that way. But I also
Speaker 1: want to give us grace to not have that regret
Speaker 1: and recognize we had Some of us may have felt
Speaker 1: like we had to, we needed to. And the fifth
Speaker 1: is this is the more important side of it. I
Speaker 1: think I wish I'd allowed myself to be happier. It's
Speaker 1: so beautiful. I wish I'd allowed myself to be happier.
Speaker 1: How could you be happier today? How could you be
Speaker 1: richer today because you choose to be, You allow yourself
Speaker 1: to be. How could you be more abundant today because
Speaker 1: you choose to be, you allow yourself to be. How
Speaker 1: could you be wealthier today because you choose to be,
Speaker 1: You allow yourself to be. You look in that direction, right,
Speaker 1: you look in that direction, you amplify that, you bring
Speaker 1: it to life. I'm so grateful for your time and
Speaker 1: energy today. I hope this leaves you feeling lighter, richer, wealthier,
Speaker 1: recordgizing that there is so much wealth in your life,
Speaker 1: and I hope it allows you to create more financial
Speaker 1: wealth as well. With that abundance mindset, take care of yourselves. Remember,
Speaker 1: I'm forever in your corner and always rooting for you.
Speaker 1: If you love this episode, you love my conversation with
Speaker 1: Dr Joe Dispenser on why stressing overthinking negatively impacts your
Speaker 1: brain and heart and how to change your habits that
Speaker 1: are on autopilot. Listen to it right now. How many
Speaker 1: times do we have to forget until we stop forgetting
Speaker 1: and start remembering. That's the moment of change. Who cares
Speaker 1: how many times you fell off the bicycle if you
Speaker 1: ride the bicycle. Now you ride the bike.