Speaker 1: The information provided on this podcast is uninformed and unreviewed.
Speaker 1: Good Science does not do any research about any of
Speaker 1: the topics discussed and assumes no responsibility for errors or omission.
Speaker 1: That's good Science. Hello, how do you do? And googy goo?
Speaker 1: Welcome to Good Science the Health and Human Services podcasts
Speaker 1: hosted by Yours Truly Robert F. Kennedy Junior. Today is
Speaker 1: an exciting one. We've got a high octane, high activity episode.
Speaker 1: We're going to be doing calisthenics today live. If Kyle
Speaker 1: and I are gonna work out, we're gonna do all
Speaker 1: our activity. We're gonna get our limbic systems going. But
Speaker 1: not just that, we're going remote. We're gonna find a
Speaker 1: really high mountainous area somewhere where we both live, and
Speaker 1: we're gonna live stream a ten mile hike. And when
Speaker 1: we're done with Peth, hold on, Kyle, I'm almost through. Kyle.
Speaker 1: Hold on, everybody, let me introduce to you really quickly.
Speaker 1: The one and only. He's a funny guy. He's so
Speaker 1: he's always peppy, filled with energy. Yeah, dude, and all that.
Speaker 1: It's Kyle Quim. Oh my god, Kyle, why aren't you
Speaker 1: in your workout gear? I woke up with a with
Speaker 1: a terrible cold. Bobby, you look like you look like
Speaker 1: you're co was playing your grandmother, Kyle, My grandma, bless her. Man.
Speaker 1: She's fucking taking care of me, Bobby, But I really am.
Speaker 1: I'm not feeling good, man. I just I woke up.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can go today. Man. Oh, Kyle,
Speaker 1: what are you talking about? We have a whole episode
Speaker 1: with dynamic remotes, different activities, each one more high octane
Speaker 1: than the next. All right, you're fucking that's too hold on,
Speaker 1: Oh shit, one hundred and three point five. I don't
Speaker 1: I don't think I could have one hundred and three
Speaker 1: point five temperature. I don't think I could. I don't
Speaker 1: think I could do it, Bobby. I gotta tell you, man,
Speaker 1: I woke up. I having stuffy like I give me
Speaker 1: your symptoms. I have a cough stuff. You knows. I
Speaker 1: got a fever, I got the chills. I'm not doing well, Bobby.
Speaker 1: I just I don't know what's going on. I tried
Speaker 1: to take what you I tried to take some Did
Speaker 1: you take the nettlelu? Yeah? No cold and flu? Kyle?
Speaker 1: What are you doing? You've gotta take boiled nettle root boiled.
Speaker 1: Go out and find a nettle and then dig into
Speaker 1: the ground and pull out its root. I'm not going outside,
Speaker 1: you maniac. I feel like shit. I have a cold.
Speaker 1: God damn, what a pussy You know something, Kyle, I
Speaker 1: think we're gonna have to change today's episode and we're
Speaker 1: gonna have to make it about the common cold? Something
Speaker 1: that what is? What is the common cold? What the
Speaker 1: fuck even is it? Because I just wake up I
Speaker 1: feel sick? Is and why is it called common? Why
Speaker 1: are my I'm not necessarily cold? I had the chills,
Speaker 1: but what was that to do with being freezing? Well? Kyle, Actually,
Speaker 1: the history of the cold is quite interesting. For a
Speaker 1: long time, people thought that the reason you catch a
Speaker 1: cold is that you got cold or more commonly known
Speaker 1: as rhinoviruses coronaviruses. These are the types of viruses that
Speaker 1: cause what we call a cold. A cold simply got
Speaker 1: its name because you tended to get them in the winter.
Speaker 1: Why is it common? And why why are we cold? Well?
Speaker 1: The common cold? Actually, it's history, it's etymology is you
Speaker 1: might know it is that the cold was? Do you
Speaker 1: need me to wait for you while you're fucking coughing, Bobby,
Speaker 1: I'm sick. I'm sorry, I don't have Cheryl always tells
Speaker 1: me this that I don't actually have a great bedside manner.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're a doctor, you should have bedside manner. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm not a doctor, Kyle, but I do have the
Speaker 1: ability legally to dispense men medical advice because of my
Speaker 1: position and the tromp. Are you able to write a prescription? Actually,
Speaker 1: due to my position is the head of health in
Speaker 1: Human Services, I am able to write a prescription using
Speaker 1: a prescription pad that was provided to me by a
Speaker 1: federal government. This pad allows me to write various medical recommendations,
Speaker 1: from suggesting that you go to a dermatologist to writing
Speaker 1: myself a prescription for percocets. If I'm feeling down and
Speaker 1: it fits in someone's underwear, my prescription pad. You're thinking
Speaker 1: of a maxipad, Kyle, which is I'm thinking of? It
Speaker 1: could be minimum, it could be like mini, doesn't have
Speaker 1: to be huge. Even a mini pad is called a maxipad, Kyle.
Speaker 1: So even if you have a small pad in your
Speaker 1: underwear to absorb vaginal discharge or urine, it would still
Speaker 1: what it's for. That's the main use of metal. Well,
Speaker 1: the maxipad primarily is used to absorb discharge during a
Speaker 1: woman's period, but often can be used to absorb pee
Speaker 1: since women have a tendency to eject urine from themselves
Speaker 1: like a pcr when they're giggling. Yes, exactly, women make
Speaker 1: a giggle and they make a little peepee afterwards like
Speaker 1: a turtle. Can you show me what that sounds like? Sure,
Speaker 1: a woman might go and then and what's that second part?
Speaker 1: That's the little piss they make after they laugh. Right,
Speaker 1: You ever see a woman get really happy and she's
Speaker 1: laughing and then she crosses both their hands in a
Speaker 1: sort of position like this over their agile region. That's
Speaker 1: a performative act to say, I'm about to make a
Speaker 1: peepye because this is so funny. Okay, so people who
Speaker 1: have colds, are they actually cold? Well, no, catching a
Speaker 1: cold meant that you got a disease during a colder month,
Speaker 1: the theory being initially that that the kyle God, damn it,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to explain this the that the cold was
Speaker 1: what transmitted a disease more and more effectively. But actually
Speaker 1: it had to do with proximity during the winter months
Speaker 1: because people would be inside and around around rats. Oh,
Speaker 1: just around each other, Kyle, just around each other. And
Speaker 1: it doesn't need to be any rats. What does that
Speaker 1: have to do with the plague, Kyle. We've already dispelled
Speaker 1: this myth that only actually ten people got the bubonic plague?
Speaker 1: And how come so many people died? Why did so
Speaker 1: many people die from the bubonic plague? Was that some
Speaker 1: sort of mystery, No, it's a mystery, Kyle. They just
Speaker 1: happened to die at the same time. Was a kuink eating? Yes,
Speaker 1: it's the technical. For instance, let's say you had someone
Speaker 1: you knew who died on September eleventh, two thousand and one,
Speaker 1: your favorite date. Yes, I love it more than anything.
Speaker 1: And let's say that they fell down the stairs an
Speaker 1: owl attacked them, And let's say an owl was stuck
Speaker 1: in their attic. And let's say someone's mouthy wife I
Speaker 1: didn't know how to shut up and keep to herself,
Speaker 1: just happened to be at the top of the stairs
Speaker 1: of her attic, and an owl flew in through a window,
Speaker 1: and the woman the wife, Kyle, the wife, the woman
Speaker 1: of the gentleman who's prow sing online for gay sex,
Speaker 1: and she finds his website and so then they have
Speaker 1: a fitful argument by the pool. But then she goes
Speaker 1: into the house and goes upstairs and then an owl
Speaker 1: comes in. An owl? Ok? What a owl? An owl? Goddamn,
Speaker 1: but an owl. Anyway, so she dies and it's on
Speaker 1: September eleventh. But she didn't die from that. That's like
Speaker 1: the Staircase. Have you watched the Staircase? Never seen it? No?
Speaker 1: Idea durst? Oh, I love Robert He's a great I
Speaker 1: love that. I love what's that band he's in? Uh
Speaker 1: three eleven? I think? Yeah, man, I love Yeah, you
Speaker 1: know my favorite is BTK. Do you want to know
Speaker 1: why some sort of British band? Or is that like Kate? Oh,
Speaker 1: he's a serial killer, bind them, torture them, kill them.
Speaker 1: That it stood stands for yeah, but he's like that.
Speaker 1: What else is like? What does a C d C
Speaker 1: stand for? It's an add cock d dick cocked cock
Speaker 1: dick cock. Yeah, so every band stands for something? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: r E M rotate emotional mopads. Okay, what about E
Speaker 1: l O uh elegant labia opening? All right? What about
Speaker 1: n sync Uh? It's uh in the kitchen sink, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: dishes say that they don't mention that kind of stuff,
Speaker 1: but this is kind of the Hollywood pedophile stuff that
Speaker 1: that's just the Hollywood pedophile stuff you were talking about.
Speaker 1: They hide little messages like the Beatles did in In
Speaker 1: in a Revolver, Yeah revolve when they were like, uh,
Speaker 1: you play it backwards supposedly, Yeah, a message, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: if you play it backwards. You Hitler speech at the
Speaker 1: Nuremberg trial, Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they remember when after
Speaker 1: the war the Hitler went on trial, they were like,
Speaker 1: he committed suicide and they're like, no, no, no, he didn't.
Speaker 1: And it was just a guy who looked like Hitler.
Speaker 1: The guy who killed himself looked like Hitler. But the
Speaker 1: guy on trial was actually Hitler, and he gave and
Speaker 1: then the judge and they said, okay, let's bring Hitler
Speaker 1: up on the stand. And he was going by a
Speaker 1: different name at that point, wasn't he Yeah, Tittler, Jason Tittler,
Speaker 1: Jason Tittler. But nobody saw. Everyone saw through it because
Speaker 1: he looked just like Hitler, you know, and if you
Speaker 1: yelled Hitler, hey Hitler, he would turn turn around. Media,
Speaker 1: he turned around. You got you got to practice only
Speaker 1: turning around with Titler right, and so they they go, you, sir,
Speaker 1: the freezing and heat. The prosecutor says, you, sir, you
Speaker 1: are Hitler and and and you shouldn't be allowed to
Speaker 1: speak because you have that magic mouth that can make
Speaker 1: people kill Jews. Now, did Hitler ever have a cold?
Speaker 1: Because he seemed infallible? That's fucking weird. Why is that
Speaker 1: Wow secretly a Jew? H No, if he was secretly
Speaker 1: a Jew, he'd have a cold all the time. Everyone
Speaker 1: knows that Jews gets sicker almost forty more. Well, some
Speaker 1: believe the Jews have something called a Nebbish DNA, and
Speaker 1: so then DNA it's n DNA, not mr NA. It's
Speaker 1: n DNA, which is Nebbish DNA, and it makes the Jews.
Speaker 1: DNA is weaker. The bonds break apart faster. Cold atoms
Speaker 1: can get in there and dish cold atom. A cold
Speaker 1: Adam is a sequel to Black Adam, the huge hit.
Speaker 1: That's that's crazy. Everyone saw. Everyone rushed to the theater
Speaker 1: to see Black Adam and wait till they hold cold
Speaker 1: at him. Has even better this time. The rock is
Speaker 1: fucking freezing the whole time. That's so crazy. Damn yeh.
Speaker 2: Yeh.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you know this, but I just
Speaker 1: auditioned for a rock movie. Oh you did? Yeah? Well,
Speaker 1: you know I've been on tour and maybe this is
Speaker 1: where i got fucking sick man, because I've been on
Speaker 1: tour with Tom and uh Theo, Tom Segura the recent
Speaker 1: divorce A yes, yeah, and I mean he's been Leo
Speaker 1: life ever since that yeah, tales introducing him to a
Speaker 1: lot of hot women. Yeah, me and Theo. I mean
Speaker 1: we did like some tour and we were around a
Speaker 1: lot of people. I gotta say, So what tour? It
Speaker 1: was a tour of ice facilities. Whoa wait a minute,
Speaker 1: ice facility? Wait to tell we were making the uh officers,
Speaker 1: the ice officers try to laugh, to give them a
Speaker 1: little break from how hard it's been. Like a USO tour.
Speaker 1: It's like a USO tour, but a U s Iice
Speaker 1: tour kind of okay, you know, tell us ice, us ice.
Speaker 1: So it's us ICE tour, Yes, us ICE tour, you
Speaker 1: seiice tour. And we would try to make try to
Speaker 1: give these guys a little bit of a break because
Speaker 1: it's so hard, assaulting and hurting, breaking apart, families. I mean,
Speaker 1: think about it. Imagine that happened to you. So we
Speaker 1: try to, okay, get it together and anyway, Oh my throat,
Speaker 1: it just feels like a fucking cave of knives. Have
Speaker 1: you broken up some glass and mixed it with salt
Speaker 1: and put it in your throat? I didn't do that. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not why. That's crazy. That seems like the opposite
Speaker 1: of what I need to do. No. No, That's the
Speaker 1: whole thing about cures, Kyle, is that the best cures
Speaker 1: are always the ones that seemed the craziest. So, like
Speaker 1: you have a fever, right never goes well. You should
Speaker 1: cool yourself. You should set it and douse yourself in
Speaker 1: kerosene and light yourself on fucking fire. So okay, what
Speaker 1: if I have aids? If you why if you have aids,
Speaker 1: what you should do is find a find your local
Speaker 1: glory hole, right wherever your local sucker I know where
Speaker 1: this is going. Okay, what about chickencows? That's not a
Speaker 1: thing anymore, is it. You know you're gonna be like
Speaker 1: this guy's he's like a broken record. Find your local
Speaker 1: suckhole and everything goes back to the glory hole, is
Speaker 1: what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, you're saying that we should
Speaker 1: all just like a second, take your time, Kyle. What
Speaker 1: are you taking there, Kyle? Supplement with these vitamins or something? Uh,
Speaker 1: it looks like I thought that was like Arizona iceed tea.
Speaker 1: They're like gummies. You know, have you heard about Arizona
Speaker 1: iced tea cubes? No? Is that it's Arizona iced tea,
Speaker 1: but in a gummy? Why would I take that? Oh,
Speaker 1: the refreshing imagine mixing the refreshing taste of Arizona iced
Speaker 1: tea with the bitter fake lemon tinge with your own slide.
Speaker 1: Well you know what we did. I did hear that
Speaker 1: Arizona ice tea is actually collabing. They're actually teaming up
Speaker 1: with Ice.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sure you're to supply all the ice officers
Speaker 1: with some refreshing drinks. Is that true? Yeah? It is
Speaker 1: because when you think about it, Kyle, you know how
Speaker 1: hard it is when every day you have to break
Speaker 1: apart of family. You have to break apart of family,
Speaker 1: or you've got to ram. Uh, you gotta ram some
Speaker 1: you know woman with your mini van, some annoying woman
Speaker 1: trying to annoying trying to help people, and and so
Speaker 1: you've gotta, yeah, help people, and so what you've got
Speaker 1: to do is rammer with your mini van and then
Speaker 1: later say that she was a threat. Is that the
Speaker 1: most efficient way to kill an innocent person is with
Speaker 1: ramming them with a minivan? Well, there's actually it's funny
Speaker 1: you say. There was an automotive study done by Triple
Speaker 1: A in two thousand and nine that said that the
Speaker 1: most effective way to eliminate a publicly annoying helping hand
Speaker 1: is with a Dodge Mini Star. Why is that? Well,
Speaker 1: the bumper construction, Kyle, the bumper construction is just at
Speaker 1: the right hit right, the bumper construction is just at
Speaker 1: the right height. I would love to see somebody get
Speaker 1: hit by a Dodge. I mean that's funny. Well you can.
Speaker 1: You can go online and see it right now, or
Speaker 1: go to any city where Ice is currently located. Okay,
Speaker 1: so yeah, let's talk about it. Why did Arizona? Is
Speaker 1: it just because the name Arizona, Iced tea and ice
Speaker 1: they go together hand in hand. That's it. It's the
Speaker 1: laziest possible connection we could make, and we did it,
Speaker 1: which is Arizon. So okay, So Arizona Ice. He and
Speaker 1: ice are combining forces here. So what are their new flavors? Yeah,
Speaker 1: there is uh, so there's uh. This is a really
Speaker 1: delicious one. It's a wild blue Raspberry Child separation. Now
Speaker 1: what's that? Okay, so that's the taste. So this is
Speaker 1: a new company that's been working on. How do we
Speaker 1: remember Willy Wonka where they said they could do the
Speaker 1: emotions Timothy Salome, Yeah, with the great Timid. Everyone remembers
Speaker 1: the most memorable Willy Wonka, and it was with Timothy Shallowy,
Speaker 1: a trained rat that knows how to act like a human.
Speaker 1: Now he is a rat, right he is? Yes, yes, rat?
Speaker 1: Is that true? He's one hundred percent rat. So they
Speaker 1: just shaved him down. They shave him every day and
Speaker 1: they train him how to speak and uh and and
Speaker 1: behave like a human by dangling a very small treat
Speaker 1: just off camera. Okay, all right, so he's Willie Wonka.
Speaker 1: What does have toy? So that we can now imbue
Speaker 1: sodas with emotional feelings. We can put a flavor in
Speaker 1: a drink that makes you feel a feeling. So Wild
Speaker 1: Blue Raspberry Child Separation gives you that powerful tangy burst
Speaker 1: of a blue raspberry that ice cold sweet. What's this
Speaker 1: other one I'm hearing about? Electric fence? What is that electric?
Speaker 1: Arizona's Tea electric fence? Electric fence is interesting. You know
Speaker 1: how in the Guinness in a Guinness can, they have
Speaker 1: a nitrogen cap so that when you open the can,
Speaker 1: it im it injects the the nitrogen into the Guinness,
Speaker 1: so that makes it Guinness.
Speaker 3: Ye.
Speaker 1: Well, the same thing here, except it's a small charged
Speaker 1: electrical current that's activated when you open the can, electrocuting
Speaker 1: you while getting a refreshment. That's crazy. Well, God bless
Speaker 1: arizona Sed Tea for supporting that's unbelievable. Well, and then
Speaker 1: there's also have you I don't know if you've had
Speaker 1: a shot in the neck nectarine, which is really that's
Speaker 1: quite a shot in the nectarene. Shot in the nectarine. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and what's shot in the nectreene? It's a tribute to
Speaker 1: none other than the great Charlie Kirk. He was he
Speaker 1: was really just something else. And the best thing about
Speaker 1: the drink is you don't drink it from the top.
Speaker 1: You actually poke a hole about one third of the
Speaker 1: way down and it comes spilling out. That's crazy. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: so what am I supposed to do? I have a cold?
Speaker 1: All right, well Kyle, So first off, I just need
Speaker 1: to ask you. Did you tour the children's portion of
Speaker 1: the ice detention? And of course, well there we go, Kyle.
Speaker 1: Children are the source of most disease. They're super spreaders.
Speaker 1: Like if you go to a pre school, yes, oh,
Speaker 1: I go to preschool. If you go, let's say linger
Speaker 1: in a preschool. You linger in a midical middle Oh no,
Speaker 1: uh huh? Did you just vomit? It was just that
Speaker 1: lamb is coming up like crazy? What color is your
Speaker 1: flam Let's go through the checklist. It's like a greenish
Speaker 1: brown yellow. Oh, you have a dose that you have
Speaker 1: all three colors of flem Kyle, it's unprecedented. That's like
Speaker 1: the perfect storm. That's like in uh, it's like in
Speaker 1: a Twister where they never h Why did you just
Speaker 1: say perfect storm? I'm that's also a movie. I know
Speaker 1: you would have just set up perfect storm. Why go
Speaker 1: all the way to twister. It's like twister meets perfect storm,
Speaker 1: which is the ultimate twistiest storm or a perfect twister.
Speaker 1: What does it say about me that I have three
Speaker 1: fucking colors? You've got a viral infection, You've got a
Speaker 1: bacterial infection, and you have a little bit of a
Speaker 1: stuff infection. You have a staff infection. Yeah, you have
Speaker 1: all three. That's crazy. So you got this now most
Speaker 1: people say, oh, a cold. Now here's some things we
Speaker 1: do know that the coronavirus and rhinovirus in the winter months,
Speaker 1: the virus's shell is sturdier, so it is stronger. Also,
Speaker 1: air is drier. Well, I would think a rhinos shell
Speaker 1: is sturdy. This is a rhinovirus, which is a totally
Speaker 1: different thing. A rhinovirus is a spiky virus. Rhinos have spikes, right,
Speaker 1: But that's why it's called a rhinovirus. It's not a
Speaker 1: rhinoceros or rhinosaurus as someone might call it. But the
Speaker 1: rhino the rhinos are dinosaurs. No, they're not io dino,
Speaker 1: rhino dino dino rhinosaurrists. Well, I do have any sores,
Speaker 1: by the way, I do have sores. Yeah, I have
Speaker 1: cold sores where all of your lips or within my lips. Well,
Speaker 1: I go the ones on my dick went away. I
Speaker 1: had a cold once where I sneezed out my cock
Speaker 1: the whole time. What does that mean, well, Uh, I
Speaker 1: would get what I felt was like a sickness, like
Speaker 1: a like a sickness in my head, right yeah, And
Speaker 1: I would start to feel like, uh, there was this
Speaker 1: poison in me, this pain in me that had to
Speaker 1: come out. And I was like, oh, I think I'm
Speaker 1: getting sick. So I would go outside. You just want
Speaker 1: to jerk off a woman's bedroom window, or stand on
Speaker 1: top of an apartment building, or linger near high school girls.
Speaker 1: Sure you're just not cowling your horniness A cold? No, No,
Speaker 1: this is a disease, Kyle. A sickness I have that
Speaker 1: the only way to relieve it is to sneeze. And
Speaker 1: the way I do it is by working my penis
Speaker 1: over and over again until it finally sneezes and snot
Speaker 1: comes out. Usually I feel a sense of euphoria, followed
Speaker 1: by a deep shame and rage. Okay, now, what year
Speaker 1: is it? It's what is it? Meant? It's the year
Speaker 1: nineteen eighty five? What year? And your mom is You're
Speaker 1: gonna fuck your mom? What? Kyle? You've got back in
Speaker 1: time and the only way for you to go back
Speaker 1: to the future is to fuck your mind. Stop messing
Speaker 1: with me, Bobby, what year is it. It's nineteen fifty five, Kyle,
Speaker 1: You've got all the way back to the future. Bobby,
Speaker 1: what year is it. It's twenty twenty six. Okay. Why
Speaker 1: haven't we solved the cold? Why haven't we cured the cold?
Speaker 1: That common That is crazy? You can't deserve we cured.
Speaker 1: We haven't cured. We have cured Alzheimer's. We have cured. Yes,
Speaker 1: why haven't we cured the cold? Everybody knows that you
Speaker 1: can't cure the common cold because people don't want it
Speaker 1: to be cured. They don't want it to be cured.
Speaker 1: Why because it's such a huge profitable as you get
Speaker 1: out of work, how that was? You know, if you
Speaker 1: didn't have a cold, how the hell could you you'd
Speaker 1: be working all the time. Kyle. Every once in a while,
Speaker 1: you got to get a cold, and you go, oh,
Speaker 1: I got a cold. I gotta you're saying it's nothing
Speaker 1: to do with the with right the right aid industry,
Speaker 1: Well has evs trying to make a fucking dollar. Big
Speaker 1: CVS and Big Right Aid and Big Dwayne Reid, Big
Speaker 1: Walgreens and Big Walgreens and Big Medi Mart all have
Speaker 1: a vested interest in what Kyle keeping you selling like sweatpants,
Speaker 1: selling like cheap sweatpants, selling Chief sweatpants, Valentine's Day candy, Yeah,
Speaker 1: selling a large hollow milk chocolate eggs, getting your picture
Speaker 1: printed after like a day or two. Yeah, purchasing various
Speaker 1: sized foot padding, getting diabetes socks. Uh. Finding uh, just
Speaker 1: the right shadee reflective nail polish that's locked away by Okay,
Speaker 1: And so they make money off the well, they're making
Speaker 1: money off the cold, is what you're saying. They're making
Speaker 1: money off the cold. They're making money off the fact
Speaker 1: that if you take a few days off from work,
Speaker 1: what are you gonna do. If you're sick and you
Speaker 1: got a few days off from work, you don't want
Speaker 1: to go far. You're going to go to your local,
Speaker 1: right ad Just scam, It's basically what you're saying. It's
Speaker 1: the same thing as like when I do crowd work.
Speaker 1: I know I'm not giving anything of value to my audience, right,
Speaker 1: I'm just creating shitty content that's going to be passed around.
Speaker 1: I have a confession. It's like when I talk about
Speaker 1: supplements or eating you know, chicken parts to save money,
Speaker 1: as opposed to having like a chicken breast, having like
Speaker 1: a chicken neck or foot that I simply just don't
Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about and I'm making it up. Wow,
Speaker 1: But that's what happens when you have the common cold. Well,
Speaker 1: tell me what happens to your body during a common
Speaker 1: during and why is it common? Is that anything to
Speaker 1: do with the actor? Yes, it's actually common. Was the
Speaker 1: first person to get what we call it cold? Prior
Speaker 1: to that, they were called flues or Hibbejibi's Okay, So
Speaker 1: common gets the first cold. Common gets the first cold,
Speaker 1: and and what is happening in the body? Actually, So
Speaker 1: first off, the virus multiplies in the DNA and it
Speaker 1: then a very small right, So imagine a herd of
Speaker 1: rhino going across the Serengeti plane. And as they all
Speaker 1: move across the plane, and the Serengeti is your body.
Speaker 1: These rhinos are bopping up against the trees and they're
Speaker 1: hitting lions and hyenas, and they're they're they're knocking over
Speaker 1: bushes and they're charging through villages and the locals are
Speaker 1: running away for the village to escape with their lives.
Speaker 1: But that's the human body, and inside the body, the
Speaker 1: rhinovirus cold is doing the same thing a stampede. Okay,
Speaker 1: danger and disease. Now, my grandma bless her heart, now
Speaker 1: has you know she's gonna have to have her feet amputated. Wow,
Speaker 1: but she told me don't go out with wet hair,
Speaker 1: You'll catch a cold. She said that I went around
Speaker 1: to these ice facilities with wet hair. Now does that
Speaker 1: Is she right? If you go out with wet hair,
Speaker 1: can you catch a disease? Well? No, This is what
Speaker 1: is actually going on, Kyle, is that wet hair would
Speaker 1: lower the potentially lower your immune response. Because you are colder,
Speaker 1: your body temperatures lower, It's more likely that you are
Speaker 1: in a weak in state because you're Mario Lopez is
Speaker 1: always getting sick. Lopez always sick. Yeah, of course, any
Speaker 1: swimmer is usually quite sick. And Michael Phelps, Gold Phelps.
Speaker 1: This is why for ye, Now, this is why Melple Phelps,
Speaker 1: pl No, Myrple Phelps, Myrple Phelps, Mepo Phelps, they're all
Speaker 1: the Phelps brothers, MEPO, Michael, and Myrple, all of them
Speaker 1: are very depressed. And uh, the reason they're depressed is
Speaker 1: because they're wet all the time. Now, Myrple Phelps. How
Speaker 1: is he able to win so many gold medals? I
Speaker 1: think one hundred something like that. How was he able
Speaker 1: to win one hundred gold medals if he was sick?
Speaker 1: You condition yourself, Kyle, and you because the sickness gives
Speaker 1: you power. You have to cold help him the cold.
Speaker 1: It's all that why Jews are so powerful, right. Well,
Speaker 1: one of the reasons that the Jewish people are so
Speaker 1: powerful is because they're so so sick. N DNA they
Speaker 1: have N DNA, the Nebbish DNA gives them the advantage
Speaker 1: because if you, Kyle, think about it this way, It's
Speaker 1: like what they old phrase running with weights. Okay, If
Speaker 1: I go running with weighted bell and then the next
Speaker 1: day I run without it, I'm stronger Because well, I
Speaker 1: think you're getting sick. I just heard it. You can't
Speaker 1: Can I get Can I get you sick through the microphone? Yes, Kyle,
Speaker 1: of course you can't. You don't think that a diseases.
Speaker 1: Diseases can sonically transmit. So when you coffeeto your microphone,
Speaker 1: it's moving through the microphone up the chamber, into the wires,
Speaker 1: over the internet and then coming out the microphone. Here.
Speaker 1: That's fucked up. Yeah, that's crazy, but I could also
Speaker 1: for instance, here I had coffee and cof coffee and
Speaker 1: I had coffee, and I had smoked trout this morning.
Speaker 1: Now take a moment, hold on, then'll smell your microph
Speaker 1: only shit it reeks. Yeah, fucking reeks over here. That amazing.
Speaker 1: Now watch this smell that. That's disgusting. Yeah, that's truly
Speaker 1: disgusting by it. Yeah, you know, and I cleaned it.
Speaker 1: But you know, you ever notice sometimes you clean your asshole,
Speaker 1: but then like about it four hours later. Maybe you
Speaker 1: go to p and you're like, I'm just gonna give
Speaker 1: it a wipe, and then there's like a little shit
Speaker 1: in there, and you're like, wait a minute, what the fuck?
Speaker 1: I never that never happened to me. You never have
Speaker 1: a little shit leak out of your ass just throughout
Speaker 1: the day. No, how about pissed? Do you find that
Speaker 1: when you piss that no matter how much you shake off,
Speaker 1: there's just piss running down your fucking leg. No. How
Speaker 1: old are you? By the way, I'm seventy two, four
Speaker 1: seventy two, so you're seven hundred and twenty four. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: twenty four years old. That's crazy. Yeah, I'm like Merlin too,
Speaker 1: I'm aging backwards. You're like Yoda? Uh yeah, sure. Can
Speaker 1: you do me a favor and do a Bobby Yoda impression? Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll do that for you because you're sick, Kyle. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do it.
Speaker 2: M hm, yes, cool, you masked sick you are?
Speaker 1: Talk to Cheryl. Talk to Cheryl as Yoda.
Speaker 2: Stay your wave away from stay Penis juwe sick? Sick
Speaker 2: you are? Hey, go me will to Yoda.
Speaker 1: Wow, Yoda's just saying separate words, not even if full sentences.
Speaker 1: He penis touched, Yoda has gotten Okay, I put my
Speaker 1: own little spin on your which is like he's you know,
Speaker 1: he's had a head injury. Should I be taking Kyle?
Speaker 1: Should I be taking these?
Speaker 2: Joe?
Speaker 1: I'm I'm Bobby. Yeah, I know your Bobby. Kyle. Should
Speaker 1: I be taking this? Yeah? You keep saying I'd be
Speaker 1: taking it, but I think it's maybe it's the cold.
Speaker 1: I think it is. Yes, I'm talking. No, I'm saying,
Speaker 1: I'm telling you my name. Now. Should I be taking this?
Speaker 1: I'm not Kyle? I Bobby, You're all right? You know
Speaker 1: what The sickness is taking you over. You must have
Speaker 1: a high fever. That's right. I'm Kyle. I'm Kyle Quim.
Speaker 1: Let me do my refreshing brand of how'd work for you?
Speaker 1: Where are you from? I'm from DC. Oh, you're from
Speaker 1: Dick Kunt Now can I write that down? That's actually brilliant.
Speaker 1: But seriously, Kyle, and it's fun to do an impression
Speaker 1: of you. But the most important thing for treating a
Speaker 1: cold is the following. They've already shown that vitamin C
Speaker 1: does nothing actually or a recovery or for a cold.
Speaker 1: That actually your best to drink a lot of ough this,
Speaker 1: take your nettle root and rest and sleep, Kyle, okay,
Speaker 1: Because there is no cure for the common cold because
Speaker 1: it mutates so frequently, it's impossible to actually treat it.
Speaker 1: But I just remember my when I was a kid,
Speaker 1: my mom, who I haven't seen her in years, but
Speaker 1: she would hold me and she would help me, and
Speaker 1: she would sing to me, and it would make me
Speaker 1: feel so much better. You know, I don't have that.
Speaker 1: I don't have anyone to take care of me anymore.
Speaker 1: My grandma's got hobbled feet, yeah, and she's sick. And
Speaker 1: I just don't know, I don't know, I don't Would
Speaker 1: you like me to hold you and I'd see you
Speaker 1: a Russian Russian lullaby. I mean, would you do that
Speaker 1: for me? Bobby, Kyle would be my mommy. I will
Speaker 1: be your mommy and I'll tell you this. I watch
Speaker 1: you to get good rest, drink plenty of fluids, make
Speaker 1: yoursell some chicken soup. And also remember we're chopping off
Speaker 1: your grandma's feet next week. We need you to feel better,
Speaker 1: so you could be there to hold the axe and
Speaker 1: we night you. Hear her croon a Russian Lala bye,
Speaker 1: justao plantive too. When Babeby starts to cray rock a
Speaker 1: by my Babby, Somewhere they may be a land that's
Speaker 1: free for you and me hander Russian love by, Oh Bobby,
Speaker 1: that was amazing. Go to sleep, Go to sleep, Go
Speaker 1: to sleep. Here you go, okay, go to sleep.
Speaker 3: Goody Good Science is a production of Silly Gilly, Big
Speaker 3: Money Players, iHeart Podcasts and one thirty seven Ltd, hosted
Speaker 3: by Anthony A.
Speaker 1: Tamadak As RFK Jr. And gill O zari As. Kyle Quim,
Speaker 1: Senior producer and audio engineer, emma Ardbrink, Supervising producer Victor Wright,
Speaker 1: our executive producers are Lindsey Hoffman and Jack O'Brien, Created
Speaker 1: by Anthony A. Tamadac and gill O Zai, and special
Speaker 1: thanks to our AI therapists Terry and Michael. New episodes
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