Speaker 1: Hey, hey, Hey, we're back. We're black, We're brown, and
Speaker 1: ambition ambition, ambition, ambition, ambition, brown, ambition, ambition, ambition, ambition.
Speaker 1: I'm felling spices today. I still got some curls left over.
Speaker 1: Some of y'all may have sinked me on the interwebs.
Speaker 1: I told you that I took out my pipe cleaners
Speaker 1: and the curls is popping and they still you know,
Speaker 1: it's not it's not popping popping like Mandy popping, but
Speaker 1: it's still a lot of little life left in them.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's not here today, but she should be back soon. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know man who shared on social
Speaker 1: that her father was in the hospital that's why she's
Speaker 1: been away, so I feel comfortable sharing that. But he
Speaker 1: seems to be on the men. So she should be
Speaker 1: back soon. So we're gonna send our prayers to her
Speaker 1: and the fam. So you just have me Ja. I
Speaker 1: was just gonna give you a little update. And then
Speaker 1: I had a word on today that I think would
Speaker 1: be really helpful for your pocket book. So little update.
Speaker 1: Last week I told you that I tell you I
Speaker 1: was doing Meta. So Meta had International Women's Day, which
Speaker 1: I think officially the day is the eighth. But they
Speaker 1: had a breakfast and they invited your girirl to come
Speaker 1: and speak, which was really awesome, and it just went
Speaker 1: really well. It was I mean, I'm trying to think
Speaker 1: like it was all these vps at Meta, all these
Speaker 1: like you know, think about some of the most powerful
Speaker 1: one hundred and fifty most powerful women like the in
Speaker 1: the world, like coming together for breakfast, and it just
Speaker 1: was just a beautiful event. I ended up sitting next
Speaker 1: to Garcel Bouvier. I think that's how you say her
Speaker 1: last name. Remember Garcia. I'll fancy Some of y'all too
Speaker 1: young to remember the Jamie foxhell. Back in the day,
Speaker 1: Garsett was on this show called Jamie Fox and her
Speaker 1: name was Fancy. But you know now she's on Real Housewives,
Speaker 1: I think of Beverly Hills, and she's done a bunch
Speaker 1: of other stuff, produces acts, philanthropists, business owner, just the
Speaker 1: all around wonder woman. And about three years ago, when
Speaker 1: my book Get Care of Money came out, I had
Speaker 1: sent it to the Ladies on the Reel, which she
Speaker 1: was a host on the reel at the time, and
Speaker 1: I was also on the reel. I used to be
Speaker 1: on the reel all the time when it was you
Speaker 1: know here before it got canceled, and she posted my
Speaker 1: book on Twitter and I was like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: garzaps my book. Am So when I ended up sitting
Speaker 1: next to her at this event because she was also
Speaker 1: speaking too, I didn't think she remember me, because girl,
Speaker 1: you know, people be seeing you know, I didn't meet her.
Speaker 1: I mean we were like, you know, at that time,
Speaker 1: it was pandemic, so we were zoom, you know, the
Speaker 1: reels like for other women. Jo. I just didn't think
Speaker 1: she remembered me. So when I sat next to her,
Speaker 1: you know, she smiled said hello, and I said hi.
Speaker 1: I said, you probably don't remember me, but a few
Speaker 1: years ago you shared my book on Twitter, and I
Speaker 1: just want to thank you in person. She looked at
Speaker 1: me and she said, Tiffany stop. I was like, not
Speaker 1: fancy knowing me. She's like, girl, of course, I know you.
Speaker 1: I love your work. I love what you do. You know,
Speaker 1: I think you're amazing. Well I don't know if she
Speaker 1: said all that, but that was basically what she had
Speaker 1: met and she she just was so nice and I
Speaker 1: asked her to take a picture and she did so.
Speaker 1: If you have not seen my pictures for Meta. They're
Speaker 1: all over the Bunjanista Ig. It was just a good time,
Speaker 1: a good time, honey, and so I just it was
Speaker 1: just one of those occasions where your work speaks for itself.
Speaker 1: And that's what I want to talk to you about
Speaker 1: to do. Man is not in here, So we're gonna
Speaker 1: be acting up, honey, Hey ba fan, We're gonna take
Speaker 1: a quick break and we'll be right back. You know,
Speaker 1: I like me a little word. This morning, I was
Speaker 1: talking to one of my mentees and oh, I gotta
Speaker 1: hit Martin Batch. That's one of my other mentees. And
Speaker 1: so he was sharing. So he's got a daughter and
Speaker 1: he is coaching her softball team, and he said, kids
Speaker 1: have this this thought that they can go light in
Speaker 1: practice and they'll save it for the big game, right,
Speaker 1: And he's been trying to teach them through sports that
Speaker 1: the way you practice is the way you play. Oh,
Speaker 1: that's a word, we're gonna call it that. That's what
Speaker 1: we're gonna call the title of this episode. The way
Speaker 1: you practice is the way you play, right. And so
Speaker 1: he's been trying to teach like the girls on the
Speaker 1: team then that you're not going to be your best
Speaker 1: when you play, you think you are like you know,
Speaker 1: like you ever see like you know, people are like
Speaker 1: uh if they do like a they're practicing for a
Speaker 1: play and actual play, and you know they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say the big number, the big note, you know,
Speaker 1: my full voice for the play. No, you won't, because
Speaker 1: the way you practice is the way you're going to
Speaker 1: show up for the play. Anybody who's ever been in
Speaker 1: any kind of production knows that at some point they
Speaker 1: do at least one full dress rehearsal run through. They
Speaker 1: put on like the clothes, the makeup, everything lights, everything's
Speaker 1: exactly how it would be the night the play is
Speaker 1: going to open, because they need to see all that's
Speaker 1: going to be required for like to make sure that
Speaker 1: the actual play is going to be successful. And the
Speaker 1: truth of the matter is that your brain creates connections
Speaker 1: in the practice that those are the connections that are
Speaker 1: going to show up when it's showtime, baby. And why
Speaker 1: is that a lesson on today? That is a lesson
Speaker 1: because some of you are struggling during showtime because when
Speaker 1: it's practice time, you're not fully doing the work. What
Speaker 1: do I mean? So you tell yourself, man, if I
Speaker 1: were to get, you know, one hundred thousand dollars, make
Speaker 1: one hundred thousand dollars. This is how I would navigate. Well,
Speaker 1: you currently make fifty. How are you navigating with fifty? Ah? Wait, hey,
Speaker 1: you're reckless with the fifty, right. And so if you
Speaker 1: think that having more money is going to make you
Speaker 1: more responsible or smarter with your money, it's not why
Speaker 1: because the way you practice is the way you what play?
Speaker 1: Say it out loud. I see you on the train,
Speaker 1: says I see you in the car, not in your head.
Speaker 1: I see you washing dishes, I see you ironing, folding clothes.
Speaker 1: I see you right on the peloton or the bike
Speaker 1: or the treadmill. As you listen to this. The way
Speaker 1: you practice is the way you what put your bring
Speaker 1: in the air? Play? Okay? And so if you want
Speaker 1: to be able to manage a lot of money, well
Speaker 1: when you have a little, are you setting aside for savings?
Speaker 1: Are you looking to see what investing might look like?
Speaker 1: Are you living under your means? Living beneath your means
Speaker 1: with the money that you currently have. I know that's
Speaker 1: not always easy, But the way you practice, the way
Speaker 1: you play that more money doesn't make you smarter with money.
Speaker 1: You just become more of yourself if you are. Like
Speaker 1: for me, everybody knows me. I've always been pretty thrifty,
Speaker 1: and so I was thrifty with the little, thrifty with medium.
Speaker 1: I'm still thrifty, relatively thrifty with a lot. But thrifty
Speaker 1: just looks different, you know. Like thrifty with a little
Speaker 1: was like okay, I didn't spend money on things that
Speaker 1: I didn't need because that's all I could afford. Thrifty
Speaker 1: with medium meant that like okay, with a little bit
Speaker 1: of excess, I still save the little, invested a little,
Speaker 1: and still spent under my means. Now that I have
Speaker 1: a lot, I'm still relatively thrifty in that I still
Speaker 1: live under thirty. I live under like thirty, sometimes even
Speaker 1: ten percent of what I make. So although it's a
Speaker 1: lot of money, ten percent of what I make, it's
Speaker 1: still significantly less than what I could spend. And so
Speaker 1: because the way I practice is the way I'm currently playing,
Speaker 1: that's just how it goes, I thought to myself. So like,
Speaker 1: for example, when I did the meta, when I knew
Speaker 1: that I was going to get an opportunity to self
Speaker 1: introduce myself. So sometimes they'll read your bio and sometimes
Speaker 1: I'll say, you know, tell you know, tell the audience
Speaker 1: about yourself. So that morning, I said, let me practice.
Speaker 1: And because I have before, because I've done so many
Speaker 1: speaking engagements, there have been times when I've said to myself,
Speaker 1: I don't really need to practice because already know, girl,
Speaker 1: I do this ton of times. And every time I
Speaker 1: do that, I always end up forgetting something or I
Speaker 1: could have done a better job. But I said, not
Speaker 1: at meta, not in this room with the most powerful
Speaker 1: one hundred and fifty women like in this room, right,
Speaker 1: And so I said, what is it? Before I left,
Speaker 1: Before I got they sent a car for me. All
Speaker 1: that before the makeup lady came. Before everything I told
Speaker 1: my asked myself, I said, what do you want this
Speaker 1: room of one hundred and fifty women to know and
Speaker 1: do when it comes to you? I said, one many
Speaker 1: of them may not know anything about my work. I
Speaker 1: want them to know that I serve women, especially black
Speaker 1: and brown women when it comes to personal finance. I
Speaker 1: want them to know in the ways that I've served
Speaker 1: them and what accolades have already accumulated, so they can say, wow,
Speaker 1: this is a legitimate person. Obviously one, she's here at META,
Speaker 1: but I did not know the scope of the work
Speaker 1: that she's done. So that was one. I said, I
Speaker 1: want them to know that about me. And then two,
Speaker 1: I want to position myself to partner with some of
Speaker 1: these women in the room, to give them ideas about
Speaker 1: what partnership could look like with me. That was two,
Speaker 1: no more than three things. That's what I was thinking
Speaker 1: when I'm speaking. But those are my two things. And
Speaker 1: so I practiced my speech. I said, Okay, Tiffany, if
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, hey, my name is Tiffany, one of
Speaker 1: the things you want them to know about you. So
Speaker 1: if I had not practiced, I would have been like, oh,
Speaker 1: I would have been running on and on and on
Speaker 1: all my name, Tiffany's finance, education women and blah blah
Speaker 1: lah la. Because on Monday, so the thing was on Wednesday,
Speaker 1: the META breakfast. On Monday, we had done a run
Speaker 1: through with the organizers of the event, and so they
Speaker 1: did that. They said, oh, Tiffany, you know, do a
Speaker 1: quick two to three minute spiel about yourself. And I
Speaker 1: just went on and on and on, and I realized
Speaker 1: that's I don't want to do it on stage. No, No,
Speaker 1: what did I wanted to know? I said, I want
Speaker 1: them to know numbers. I want them to be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: she's fun and light hearted, easy to work with, so
Speaker 1: I always start with hey, hey, hey, and everybody left.
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, hey, hey, it's I love to
Speaker 1: start with that. My name is Tiffany ch Aka. The
Speaker 1: budget needs done, and I teach financial education to women,
Speaker 1: especially to women of color, most specifically to black women.
Speaker 1: For the last fifteen years, number number one, I had
Speaker 1: been able to serve nearly three million women. Number number two,
Speaker 1: number yeah, number two on their financial journey through my
Speaker 1: online school Boom. She had an online school through my
Speaker 1: New York Times bestseller, best selling book. She had a
Speaker 1: New York Times bestseller. And I forgot when I said
Speaker 1: online school news times that sell my award winning podcast, Okay,
Speaker 1: Boom Brian Ambition And what else did I say? I said,
Speaker 1: I wanted them to know that. And I also said, uh,
Speaker 1: it's my mission to help as many women because they
Speaker 1: want them to know my mission to see they want
Speaker 1: to help on that mission, get and stay on financial track,
Speaker 1: I said. Four years ago this month, which was February
Speaker 1: at the time, I work with Assembly women Angela pe
Speaker 1: McKnight in my stay of New Jersey to get the
Speaker 1: budget needs to law past Law A one four one
Speaker 1: four making financial education mandatory for all middle school students
Speaker 1: in the state of New Jersey. Boom, they were like
Speaker 1: what they started to clap. So there was like four
Speaker 1: or five different things that I wanted to infuse into
Speaker 1: my biome. When I introduced myself, it was like a
Speaker 1: minute and a half two minute most, but it was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I set the stage, but that wasn't it. That was
Speaker 1: just a bio. They gave us the questions ahead of time,
Speaker 1: and I was like, Okay, when are you going to
Speaker 1: infuse things into these questions? So I know, for example,
Speaker 1: I want to start to get sponsorships for my online school,
Speaker 1: the Literature Academy, and so one of the things I
Speaker 1: forget one of the questions, but I infused into that
Speaker 1: question because I had practiced it. I have already graduated
Speaker 1: one hundred and fifty thousand women since my school opened
Speaker 1: eight years ago, and as a result, I can share
Speaker 1: that what I've learned about from those women is that
Speaker 1: this is what women want. Because the question was like
Speaker 1: something about like you know what are some of the
Speaker 1: financial challenges or whatever something like that women face. But
Speaker 1: do you see how I infuse like you graduated one
Speaker 1: hundred and fifty thousand women from your school. What's going
Speaker 1: on here? Because I practiced it so when it was
Speaker 1: time to play, when it was showtime, I was ready.
Speaker 1: And so my sister, tracing my pupaicis with me, she
Speaker 1: was like, wow, the way you were dropping numbers. I
Speaker 1: mean I was getting applause, applause, applause. But that does
Speaker 1: not happen when I don't practice. I don't always practice,
Speaker 1: and I always regret it when I don't. I remember
Speaker 1: one time I did, like a news show, I can't remember,
Speaker 1: it was Picked eleven or whatever, and I was just
Speaker 1: so tired. I didn't get a chance to practice. And
Speaker 1: it showed and I told my sister I didn't get
Speaker 1: a chance to practice. She said, I know. She said
Speaker 1: it wasn't bad. But I know you when you practice,
Speaker 1: you know. And so you have to ask yourself if
Speaker 1: you are in a position where things are not going
Speaker 1: the way you want them to go, if like your
Speaker 1: business or your money or your career, what does practice
Speaker 1: look like? Because here's the thing. The tree is gonna
Speaker 1: bear the fruit, honey. Like so one of my when
Speaker 1: my mentees come to me and they hit me with
Speaker 1: a yang yang yan yang about why does not working out?
Speaker 1: Why it is not working out? Da da da. I'm like,
Speaker 1: let's show me the fruit. Show me the fruit, meaning
Speaker 1: the results. If these are your results, it is a
Speaker 1: direct indicator of the tree. The tree is you the work.
Speaker 1: So if your fruit is not fruitful, that means your
Speaker 1: tree is not doing what it needs to do. That
Speaker 1: means you're not doing what you need to do. I'm
Speaker 1: not saying you're not working hard, but working hard is
Speaker 1: not the same as doing what you need to do.
Speaker 1: So sometimes you think to yourself, like I'm at the
Speaker 1: gym every day, I'm doing all this cardio, but you're
Speaker 1: not lifting weightsis well, you know what. Cardio is great
Speaker 1: for your heart and your lungs, but you want them,
Speaker 1: you want your shoulders looking like Michelle Obama. It's not
Speaker 1: gonna have exist not on the treadmill. So you working hard,
Speaker 1: you want to you want a treadmill three hours a day,
Speaker 1: and you think you're gonna cut your arms up. How
Speaker 1: make it make sense? Make it make sense? It won't
Speaker 1: you know like you say you want to lose weight
Speaker 1: and you're always in the gym, but guess what. Ninety
Speaker 1: percent of that weighsis is the kitchen, what you're eating.
Speaker 1: That's how you practicing. Like you ever, if you have
Speaker 1: a trainer, your trainer can tell like that that you know,
Speaker 1: you haven't been doing anything in between, or you've been
Speaker 1: overeating or whatever. It is right because the way you
Speaker 1: practice is the way you play. And so if your
Speaker 1: tree is not bearing the fruit that you're wanting it
Speaker 1: to bear, you have to ask yourself what am I
Speaker 1: doing at the tree level? Because at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, you know, because some people will just say, oh, well,
Speaker 1: you know, like I am doing I'm supposed to do.
Speaker 1: It's just not that that's not true. An orange tree
Speaker 1: is never going to bear apples, so you can certainly
Speaker 1: blame the fruit and then never succeed. Or you can
Speaker 1: look in the mirror and say, what do I need
Speaker 1: to do differently? How do I need to show up
Speaker 1: differently day to day so when it is showtime, I
Speaker 1: get to show out. Right. Some people are begging for
Speaker 1: the opportunity, but the opportunity is not going to come
Speaker 1: because you refuse to do the behind the scenes work.
Speaker 1: You want to be on Good Morning America, but you
Speaker 1: haven't practice. Are you doing media training? What are you
Speaker 1: gonna wear? Do you have a makeup artist ready? What
Speaker 1: will your hair look like? You know? Do you know
Speaker 1: how to speak in sound bites? One of the ladies
Speaker 1: came up to me after the meta things. She's like, girl,
Speaker 1: all your little sound bites. That was amazing because I
Speaker 1: watched a podcast or read a books some years ago
Speaker 1: about when you do media and press, how you have
Speaker 1: to learn how to like you know, like how I
Speaker 1: just said, the way you practice is the way you play.
Speaker 1: Y'all have heard me say need it? Love it? Like it?
Speaker 1: Won't it? Those are your spending priorities. Those are sound bites.
Speaker 1: Those are little clips that people can clip and take
Speaker 1: home with them or put on social media or put
Speaker 1: on TV or whatever. I learned to speak in sound
Speaker 1: bites for when I do media and press. And you
Speaker 1: can't answer a question in ten minutes on the Today Show?
Speaker 1: How can you people raise their credit? How can people
Speaker 1: start to budget? Well, Robin roberts, they can split it
Speaker 1: before they get it. And Robin said, that's interesting. What
Speaker 1: does that mean? Split before you get it. It's a
Speaker 1: sound bite. Well, you're going to go to payroll and say,
Speaker 1: can you split my check before you get before I
Speaker 1: get my check? Okay, then how does that work? Here
Speaker 1: are the four bank accounts, your bills checking account, your
Speaker 1: your spending checking account, your long term savings account for emergencies,
Speaker 1: and then you're saving, well you're savings for emergencies and
Speaker 1: you're saving for long term savings. Those are your four
Speaker 1: bank accounts, Robin Roberts And she's like, okay, but do
Speaker 1: you see Like but that takes practice because what you
Speaker 1: don't want actually is to have to do the play
Speaker 1: without the practice, because you might not never get another
Speaker 1: opportunity to go back out again. You go on a
Speaker 1: Good Morning America and they're like, she can't come back.
Speaker 1: This is why, quite honestly, Like you see people like
Speaker 1: in January, Good Morning America wanted me to come on
Speaker 1: three times. I'm like, is there anybody else? But you
Speaker 1: want to know why, because they don't have the time
Speaker 1: for you to practice live the happening to practice live.
Speaker 1: They're like, who has been on? Who have we sent
Speaker 1: on TV? Who delivers Tiffany? And so for me, if
Speaker 1: you're like, well, how do I practice for something like that?
Speaker 1: For me, one of the best ways I started to
Speaker 1: practice was going live. I used to go live on
Speaker 1: social media all the time just to practice. I would
Speaker 1: practice a segment for TV on live and I just
Speaker 1: wouldn't save it with y'all. I would practice a speech
Speaker 1: where I'm like, Okay, I'm doing a keynot remember one time.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm doing a keynote in a couple days,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna practice with y'all, and I would just I
Speaker 1: just do the keynote to work out some stuff to see,
Speaker 1: like in the comments, where are you guys loling? Where
Speaker 1: you guys say ooh, that's a good one. And it
Speaker 1: got me comfortable in front of the camera. It got
Speaker 1: me comfortable speaking. Also, I get to listen to my cadence.
Speaker 1: I tend to speak really fast naturally, and so I
Speaker 1: have to learn to slow down for TV, and I
Speaker 1: could be a little faster when I'm in person. But
Speaker 1: do you see like the way I was practicing was
Speaker 1: I used to go live, darn there every day, darn
Speaker 1: there every day, sometimes for hours. I would be live
Speaker 1: and they'd be like, Tiffany is bugging. I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: I have one hundred thousand dollars keynote that I'm doing
Speaker 1: in two days, So y'all gonna get this on the live.
Speaker 1: So I know I'm red D so I could collect
Speaker 1: my coin in two days, you know. And so I
Speaker 1: just want you to remind you of them, and that
Speaker 1: if the fruit that you are currently bearing is not
Speaker 1: what you're wanting, it's not quite as healthy, it's not
Speaker 1: quite as as fruitful, is not quite as abundant, then
Speaker 1: you have to ask yourself, what is the tree doing?
Speaker 1: What are you doing? You have to shift it at
Speaker 1: the tree level, which is you. It's like the bad
Speaker 1: news SIS is you, but the good news is Sis,
Speaker 1: it's you, honey. That means you could change it at
Speaker 1: any time, because the way you practice is what. The
Speaker 1: way you play, the way you navigate your money, the
Speaker 1: way you show up at work, the way you show
Speaker 1: up in your business in all areas, the way you
Speaker 1: show up in your relationship. You know, you ever see
Speaker 1: the couples that go out like it's awkward to go
Speaker 1: out to dinner with them because they be all tight
Speaker 1: with each other. It's obvious. I'm like, y'all stay fighting
Speaker 1: at home. I could tell because they got dinner like
Speaker 1: Charles also type lift, could you possibly the specular? And Charles'
Speaker 1: is like, you're always escaped for the specular, and You're like,
Speaker 1: what the hell is going on here? They think they
Speaker 1: fooling somebody. I'm like, y'all be fighting all the time
Speaker 1: at home, don't you why? Because the way you practice
Speaker 1: at home is the way you play outside at dinner
Speaker 1: with your friends, get her together at home, you could tell.
Speaker 1: You could tell the couples that are like, oh, having
Speaker 1: a good time, loving and laughing at home because in
Speaker 1: public they loving and laughing in public because you can't
Speaker 1: hide it says the fruit that you're bearing is an
Speaker 1: indicator of the tree, you know. So if you want
Speaker 1: a good relationship, are you putting in the effort. I
Speaker 1: was just talking to a friend of mine the other day.
Speaker 1: Her friend just got engaged, and some men meant me
Speaker 1: to ask her. I say, how is she and her fiance?
Speaker 1: She said, what makes you ask? I said, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just get this underlying current that hm, it's a
Speaker 1: little not so great. And she said, well, your current
Speaker 1: is right, Like you know, they're having a hard time.
Speaker 1: And one of the reasons why, to me, people have
Speaker 1: a hard time in relationships is that folks don't understand
Speaker 1: that relationships take work. That's the practice. Now here's the thing.
Speaker 1: People hear the wad, hear the word work, and they
Speaker 1: think that I mean that it feels heavy, and oh boy,
Speaker 1: I gotta work to make sure this food is no
Speaker 1: no, no no. And maybe the word work is too heavy
Speaker 1: of a word. And the word I should use this
Speaker 1: effort because effort can be delightful, as can work. So
Speaker 1: when Jerell was still here, I would practice figuring out
Speaker 1: ways to put a smile on his face. That's work,
Speaker 1: that's joyful effort work, right, So like, Okay, I know
Speaker 1: how much he likes German chocolate cake was like his
Speaker 1: favorite at one point cake, so I knew for like,
Speaker 1: and that's not an easy cake to find. So I
Speaker 1: knew for his birthday that I was gonna surprise and
Speaker 1: get that for him. And Jarell really loved lasagna and
Speaker 1: he loved when I make it. Y'all know, I don't cook.
Speaker 1: I mean I can cook, I just don't like to cook. Particularly.
Speaker 1: I don't hate it, but it's just your girl's busy.
Speaker 1: But certain times I would be like, okay, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go this weekend to the supermarket and get all the fixings,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna surprise him and make him a lasagna,
Speaker 1: not for his birthday, not for any other reason, but
Speaker 1: just because. And I knew I was gonna put a
Speaker 1: smile on his face, or you know, the next time
Speaker 1: he drives his car, I will have filled it up,
Speaker 1: or like I'm gonna put Like I remember, I bought
Speaker 1: these sticky notes that had hearts on them, and one
Speaker 1: weekend I like wrote all these really beautiful like messages
Speaker 1: to him and put it all around the notes, like
Speaker 1: in his sock drawer and the underwear drawer here places
Speaker 1: I know he would open and there was like a delight.
Speaker 1: It was like months later we were still finding sticky notes,
Speaker 1: you know, and he would do the same thing, those
Speaker 1: types of things for me, And that's why I started
Speaker 1: to do them, because he was really romantic like that.
Speaker 1: Like I remember one anniversary, I was like, I think
Speaker 1: probably told the story, but I jurell knows that like Chiad,
Speaker 1: if there's one thing that you could set your clock to,
Speaker 1: Tiffy go and wake up in the middle of the
Speaker 1: night to go peek, because this bladders not let me
Speaker 1: sleep through the night, not on today or tomorrow. And
Speaker 1: so I woke up middle of the night, you know
Speaker 1: the day were for our anniversary or the night I
Speaker 1: guess of what if our anniversary? And I'm headed to
Speaker 1: the bathroom, like what is that noise? I hear music playing?
Speaker 1: I'm like, is there is there somebody in the bathroom? Child?
Speaker 1: This man had put his phone on repeat that Tony
Speaker 1: Tony Tony song. Do you know what two days it's anniversary? Anniversary?
Speaker 1: He had that He waited for me to go to sleep,
Speaker 1: set up his phone in the bathroom playing that music.
Speaker 1: Had rose petals all over the dagone bathroom and it
Speaker 1: was like a candle burning, which I was like, child,
Speaker 1: he's trying to burn us down. A candle burning. But
Speaker 1: also this beautiful necklace that he bought me, and it
Speaker 1: was something else, I think perfume, because he always brought
Speaker 1: me like the best perfume. And I just remember being
Speaker 1: like the effort because I'm like a late sleeper so too,
Speaker 1: and he had always had to get up early. He
Speaker 1: always had to get up early in the morning to
Speaker 1: wait for me to fall asleep. I didn't even know
Speaker 1: where those flowers were, maybe in the car and where
Speaker 1: all these other things were hidden to wait for me
Speaker 1: to fall asleep, to set it up, knowing Tiffany's going
Speaker 1: to go to the rath and may have to be
Speaker 1: in the middle of the night, and she's gonna wake
Speaker 1: up and see that. And it was just so beautiful.
Speaker 1: And he taught me the effort and the big things
Speaker 1: and the small things. And as a result of us
Speaker 1: always working on our relationship, it reflected when it was
Speaker 1: showtime outside in the streets, people would tell us like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I could just tell you guys love
Speaker 1: each other so much. We didn't have to put on,
Speaker 1: you know, during the showtime, because it was like, we
Speaker 1: got to play the way we practice. This is how
Speaker 1: we are at home, and so when you see us
Speaker 1: out and about, this is how we are out and
Speaker 1: about too. So in every area of your life. You know,
Speaker 1: you want a good relationship with your sister, do you
Speaker 1: call her weekly? Do you you want a good relationship
Speaker 1: with your parents? Do you go see them with your
Speaker 1: nieces and your nephews? Are you expecting your fifteen year
Speaker 1: old needs to be the one to reach out to
Speaker 1: you right? Are you practicing the way you want to play?
Speaker 1: Because that's what it's gonna take. It's not going to
Speaker 1: magically happen like, yes, it's work. But work can be joyful,
Speaker 1: you know, work can be delightful. I delighted in and
Speaker 1: still with the people that I love figuring out ways
Speaker 1: to make them happy. I delight in that, you know.
Speaker 1: Like Girod used to like like leave a note on
Speaker 1: my car, you know, and I'd go, who the hell
Speaker 1: I put a thing on my car, and it would
Speaker 1: just be him like saying, I leve you in, I'm
Speaker 1: stalking you. That was a vapor thing to say, you
Speaker 1: were right, and no'll be like turn around, I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know, And so I just say all that to
Speaker 1: say that, like that is the lesson in the word
Speaker 1: for today, whether it comes to your money, your career,
Speaker 1: your relationships, your business, whatever, your job, whatever, whatever it
Speaker 1: is that you're wanting that you know, you can have
Speaker 1: those things, but it takes effort, consistency because you really
Speaker 1: do get to play the way you practice, okay, And
Speaker 1: so yeah, so I just hope that's a good word
Speaker 1: on today. It's time. Oh damn, I always forget. No,
Speaker 1: that's like the b a q A damn it. How
Speaker 1: does the brown break broke, So I don't know why
Speaker 1: I keep forgetting Are you gonna break? It's I don't
Speaker 1: know why, yo, my memory, you mighty had to step in,
Speaker 1: and now it's time to boost off, break off, boost up,
Speaker 1: break off, boost up? Break Are you gonna Are you
Speaker 1: gonna boost? Mean? While did backwards? What you're gonna do?
Speaker 1: What you're gonna take? You know, I'm in a good moves.
Speaker 1: I don't even know if I want to really break
Speaker 1: like that, although I will say I don't know child
Speaker 1: the I guess if I was gonna break from anything,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna boost because something good is gonna good is coming.
Speaker 1: But if I was gonna break from anything, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna break from. This is like not so much
Speaker 1: finance as it is like just like like LifeWise, But
Speaker 1: why is it like when it what is it me?
Speaker 1: Or it seems like there's this whole men hate women,
Speaker 1: women hate men thing. It's not just in like the
Speaker 1: Black Girls space. I've seen it like all over what's happening.
Speaker 1: I feel like I've been out of the loop. But
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, the whole Remember Kevin Samuelson, But
Speaker 1: like that was kind of probably at his peak. But
Speaker 1: like all the podcasts and all the I don't remember
Speaker 1: that always being the case, has not always been the
Speaker 1: case women against men anyway. I want to break from
Speaker 1: that because this whole ain't no good men, ain't no
Speaker 1: good women. La la la la yea. Yeah, One that's
Speaker 1: not true. And two why would you want that to
Speaker 1: be true? You have to be so careful about the
Speaker 1: words that come out of your mouth. All men lie,
Speaker 1: all men cheap, that's not true. I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: you know, or women only want you for whatever. That's
Speaker 1: not true. That's not true because I not only did
Speaker 1: I live it. I can look around my neighbors across
Speaker 1: the street. They're in a loving relationship. Of course, you
Speaker 1: don't know everybody's business. I think about my designer Rihanna
Speaker 1: and her husband Jermaine. They're like amazing. I think about Terrell,
Speaker 1: Jirell's brother. He is an awesome partner to his long
Speaker 1: term girlfriend. I think about Oh, who is Oh? I
Speaker 1: think about like my friend Seanta and Dennis. That's such
Speaker 1: a loving relationship. I think about my friend Sahai and
Speaker 1: her husband. They have such a loving relationship. I mean, certainly,
Speaker 1: of course, there are a lot of examples of unhealthy relationships.
Speaker 1: But I just say all that to say that something
Speaker 1: someone told me wants. It's like, why would you want
Speaker 1: to win a losing game? Meaning like, oh, it is
Speaker 1: true all men are okay, says congratulations, you win, you win,
Speaker 1: you win. Everybody's terrible. Yay, I don't want to win
Speaker 1: that game. Keep that over there, so you get to
Speaker 1: win that. The truth is every man is terrible, and
Speaker 1: then other people get to win that they don't believe it,
Speaker 1: so they have the partnership that they desire. So like,
Speaker 1: why would you want to argue for your own limitations
Speaker 1: and win because you're gonna win every time you are
Speaker 1: and I know I have. It's not like, oh well
Speaker 1: that's so you're so lucky because you got lucky with Jarell.
Speaker 1: You think I have some terrible ass relationships girl, of
Speaker 1: course I did. Forty four, you know, me and Darrel
Speaker 1: didn't get married to I was thirty seven, a child,
Speaker 1: I was in the monck. Okay, I have plenty of
Speaker 1: foolishness when it comes to dating, plenty, you know. And
Speaker 1: yet and still there was a Jirell, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? And so I just say all that to
Speaker 1: say that, like, that's my brown break, but I'm gonna
Speaker 1: boost But that's my brown break. That like speaking life
Speaker 1: into the life that you want. Stop arguing for your
Speaker 1: own limitations and then being mad when you win because
Speaker 1: you're going to win every time. I don't want to
Speaker 1: win at ain't enough money, I'll never make that, I
Speaker 1: can't have that, I can't live that, I'm always gonna
Speaker 1: be broke that I'm not trying to win that game
Speaker 1: because if you say those things, you're going to win.
Speaker 1: And then you get to win at a losing game
Speaker 1: and we want better for you. Okay, so we dropping
Speaker 1: all that negative tool. That's the brand break. But the
Speaker 1: bruce is your girl's going back to the White House,
Speaker 1: the White House, the White House. Okay, yes, black girl
Speaker 1: in the White House. Hey, black girl in the White House. See,
Speaker 1: maybe that's what the next episode will be called, black
Speaker 1: Girl in the White House. Sell for those of you
Speaker 1: all remember like a set aside your political views, because
Speaker 1: I know, I get it, it's a shit show in general,
Speaker 1: like you know, the whole political system. But last year
Speaker 1: I was invited to the White House for the first
Speaker 1: time to watch the State of the Union and then
Speaker 1: to kind of like share like the financial components of
Speaker 1: the state of the Union that we should all be
Speaker 1: focused on. And so, you know, at first they put
Speaker 1: you like in this pressroom, and I just thought, oh,
Speaker 1: we're going to be in this press room. I was excited.
Speaker 1: And then we actually went into the actual White House itself.
Speaker 1: I said, not me met the first lady just happen
Speaker 1: to be walking about like, oh hey, girls, ay, miss I
Speaker 1: shook her hand or whatever, because you know, and then
Speaker 1: they were like, we literally I have a picture of me. Yo.
Speaker 1: It's crazy on like the front porch of the White House,
Speaker 1: you know, like well, not the front porch that we
Speaker 1: were on, the front porch too, but you know that
Speaker 1: like the circular veranda thing that's on the second level.
Speaker 1: I got a picture of me. Just lean, I gotta
Speaker 1: post that picture again so I can gag the girls.
Speaker 1: And it was just so surreal black girl in the
Speaker 1: White House. Yeah, it was just really surreal. And so
Speaker 1: and actually the President pulled up. I didn't, you know,
Speaker 1: I thought we were just gonna see him like from Afar. No,
Speaker 1: he came up shaking hands. You know. I was like,
Speaker 1: wait a minute. So, no matter your political leanings, you know,
Speaker 1: we're gonna set that aside, and it is I used
Speaker 1: to teach preschool in Newark, New Jersey, and your girl
Speaker 1: is going back to the White House and will potentially,
Speaker 1: you know, meet the President again, the first lady, even
Speaker 1: the Vice President whoever, you know, like in the actual
Speaker 1: White House I'm talking about, like you know, not a
Speaker 1: Jason House. Like literally I was on that veranda. We
Speaker 1: were able to take pictures. It was surreal. And so
Speaker 1: it just is a testament to where your works can
Speaker 1: take you. That's why I said, with the black, the
Speaker 1: brown boost, the brown break is being mindful of the
Speaker 1: words that you say, because either way they're true. And
Speaker 1: I don't want to adhere to limiting beliefs about my ability,
Speaker 1: my business, my money, relationships, love friendships, you know, my
Speaker 1: my familial relationships. I don't want to adhere to any
Speaker 1: limiting beliefs about those things because those things become true.
Speaker 1: Because there's no reason why this girl, you know, preschool
Speaker 1: teacher Tiffany, you know, should be invited back to the
Speaker 1: White House again, you know what I mean. And it's
Speaker 1: because I, you know, I try my best to show
Speaker 1: up fully with all that I believe that I'm deserving
Speaker 1: and even still I still struggle with what does that
Speaker 1: actually mean because I still have some limiting beliefs that
Speaker 1: I tried my best to work through with therapy and
Speaker 1: just like you know, self work, and so I just
Speaker 1: share all that to say it that like, yeah, my
Speaker 1: boost is like I'm going back to the White House invited,
Speaker 1: Like here is your invitation here. You know, the State
Speaker 1: of the Union is actually on Thursday, So you know,
Speaker 1: follow me on social because I'm gonna I like to
Speaker 1: do like a series of stories so you can kind
Speaker 1: of follow them along with me, go into the White
Speaker 1: House and all that I have to do to get ready,
Speaker 1: and then of course afterwards, I want to share like
Speaker 1: what I heard at the State of the Union and
Speaker 1: what components at least the financial and the jobs and
Speaker 1: the careers and even small business stuff that we should
Speaker 1: be looking forward to for the rest of this year.
Speaker 1: You know that we're addressed in the State of the Union,
Speaker 1: so in the State of Union address. So yeah, I
Speaker 1: just want to leave you with all that, you know,
Speaker 1: a little positivity. Black girl in the White House, black
Speaker 1: girl in the White House, black girl, black girl, black
Speaker 1: girl in the White House. You know, I'm the mess.
Speaker 1: Don't tell me, Mandie. I was in here cutting up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you don't follow along, I'll be posting of the
Speaker 1: bunch ofista ig mostly So all right, that's the show
Speaker 1: for today. I hope we gave you a little booze, honey. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I want for you what I want for myself, which
Speaker 1: is the best. Okay, all right, until Friday, we're gonna
Speaker 1: do b a qap up. Questions slide into our I
Speaker 1: g d MS the Brown Ambision Podcast, Brown Ambition Podcast.
Speaker 1: We'll answer as many questions as possible. I'll see you
Speaker 1: on Friday. Bye.