Speaker 1: Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Hey, everybody, it's Michelle Williams.
Speaker 1: Welcome to my podcast Checking In with Michelle Williams, a
Speaker 1: part of iHeartMedia and The Black Effect. My next guest
Speaker 1: is such a boss. Okay, not just a boss for
Speaker 1: the Graham. She's a real boss. But the most important
Speaker 1: part of her that's boss to me is that she's
Speaker 1: a boss in prayer. She's a boss as an entrepreneur,
Speaker 1: She's a boss as a pastor. She is a absolute boss.
Speaker 1: And guess what, she just may inspire you to take
Speaker 1: the next step in your life right now on Checking
Speaker 1: In with Michelle Williams. Listen, everybody, I am just really, really,
Speaker 1: really happy to have this awesome guest. I'm trying not
Speaker 1: to say all the churchie words on this auspicious occasion,
Speaker 1: but listen, I'm happy to know this woman. I'm happy
Speaker 1: to know this amazing wife, media mogul mother. I probably
Speaker 1: didn't say it in the correct order because I'm not
Speaker 1: looking at a piece of paper. Not only wife mother,
Speaker 1: media mogul, but founder of Woman Evolved. Did I say
Speaker 1: author of amazing books? You guys, I want y'all to
Speaker 1: welcome my friend, my girl, Miss Sarah Jakes Robert come
Speaker 1: on podcast.
Speaker 2: I am really digging podcast Michelle. I like all of
Speaker 2: them Michelles, but podcast Michelle is doing a thing for me.
Speaker 1: I like her word. Come on in affirm, come on,
Speaker 1: give it all, give it all. Last time I think
Speaker 1: I was on your podcast or I'm sitting down with
Speaker 1: you for your digital series, we talked about affirming one
Speaker 1: another and you did not know how to take it.
Speaker 1: I was like, Sarah, you are a bomb.
Speaker 3: You know, I don't know. Here we go see and
Speaker 3: I'm yeah, that happened.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: I'm receiving it. I am receiving it.
Speaker 2: I think that I have to allow myself to receive
Speaker 2: those truths about me, because you know, when you've had
Speaker 2: self doubt or insecurities, like those are the thoughts that
Speaker 2: are at the forefront of your mind. And when someone
Speaker 2: speaks something that like wages war with that thought, you
Speaker 2: have to like wrestle it down to receive it as truth.
Speaker 2: And so what you caught me in was the middle
Speaker 2: of my wrestling process. But I'm receiving it.
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 1: Okay, y'all, we are two minutes and twenty five seconds
Speaker 1: into this podcast, and she already dropped about three tweetable
Speaker 1: nuggets instagram worthy caption I'm a love on her for
Speaker 1: a second. She's a boss, okay, b a wse just
Speaker 1: doing so many things? How are you balancing it all?
Speaker 2: I don't think that I am, you know, I feel
Speaker 2: like I have relieved myself from the pressure of feeling
Speaker 2: like balance means that everything is running at the same
Speaker 2: case and same speed and same efficiency all at the
Speaker 2: same time. I think that my new goal is to
Speaker 2: really make sure that I am being attentive to what
Speaker 2: needs my attention the most and delegating in the areas
Speaker 2: where it allows me to perhaps grow someone else or
Speaker 2: handover the ranks to different part of it. But I
Speaker 2: just feel like balance can be a little bit of
Speaker 2: an illusion, and sometimes balance makes me feel pressure like
Speaker 2: I like the idea I'm doing the best that I
Speaker 2: can more than this pressure of I need to make
Speaker 2: sure everything is moving at the same case. For me,
Speaker 2: that creates a little bit of a sense of anxiety.
Speaker 2: It's from the place of center, with me being balanced
Speaker 2: and angered within myself, that I can then execute what
Speaker 2: needs to be done outside of me, and that is
Speaker 2: what brings me the most peace. So I don't think
Speaker 2: I'm balancing everything at the same time. I think I'm
Speaker 2: finding in their balance and then executing based off of
Speaker 2: what comes to mind from that place of peace.
Speaker 1: Wow. So do you feel like that eliminates the difficulties
Speaker 1: of you building you?
Speaker 2: Well, it does in a way, because I feel like
Speaker 2: everything that I build is organic.
Speaker 3: To who I am.
Speaker 2: I think that when I am trying to balance everything
Speaker 2: at the same time that I find myself building for
Speaker 2: other people or building at the case of what other
Speaker 2: people need.
Speaker 3: But I feel like when I am.
Speaker 2: Balanced on the inside of myself that I'm able to
Speaker 2: produce what is organic to who I am, So there's
Speaker 2: not pressure to perform.
Speaker 3: If that makes.
Speaker 1: Sense, Come on somebody, So it sounds like to me
Speaker 1: then too, Then you are able to even build the
Speaker 1: atmosphere around you and train the people around you to
Speaker 1: like uh uh, and you're building your atmosphere of how
Speaker 1: you want to thrive.
Speaker 2: Some days I can cook and work out at six
Speaker 2: thirty and go and film and record and preach. Some
Speaker 2: days I can do that. Some days all I can
Speaker 2: do is taking that, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Some days.
Speaker 2: This is all I have for you today is rest
Speaker 2: and learning to be okay with that. For me is
Speaker 2: balanced because I have to. I think it's all about
Speaker 2: knowing your triggers. It's easy for me to fall into
Speaker 2: this idea of performing for other people and not knowing who.
Speaker 1: I want listen. I think you've brought up that word
Speaker 1: performance about three times, and there is a such thing
Speaker 1: as a person being a performance oriented person where I
Speaker 1: will do this for this type of response, even it's
Speaker 1: for a response that you think you owe yourself instead
Speaker 1: of saying no, baby, sit down. You don't have to
Speaker 1: perform for anybody else's type of response. Just make sure
Speaker 1: that you're doing everything from an organic and authentic place
Speaker 1: and just from a place where you feel like, no,
Speaker 1: this is necessary for me to do. You also talked
Speaker 1: about balance. You are showing that you can be all
Speaker 1: of those things that you are and still have a career.
Speaker 1: I guess, as they're saying redefining what a woman's role
Speaker 1: has to be in this world, you know you just
Speaker 1: don't have to well, I hope I don't get in trouble,
Speaker 1: but you just don't have to stay home. You just
Speaker 1: don't have to be putting the turkey in the oven.
Speaker 1: You just don't have to be making sure that when
Speaker 1: he comes home you're readily accessible for whatever he needs.
Speaker 1: You're showing no, no, no, I can work. I can
Speaker 1: have the career you say you're you said working preaching
Speaker 1: the podcast. You have a clothing boutique, you are a mother,
Speaker 1: you are a wife. And I just remember some years
Speaker 1: ago I was telling someone that was working with me
Speaker 1: at the time about all these things that I wanted
Speaker 1: to do, and they were like, no, that's too much.
Speaker 1: I think you should just focus on one thing. While
Speaker 1: I do agree, we have to focus on one thing
Speaker 1: and every now and then and master that area. As
Speaker 1: they say, you don't want to be jack of all
Speaker 1: trades and master of none of them. I totally get that,
Speaker 1: but just to know that you are encouraging people. Of course,
Speaker 1: we got to have structure that you can do it all.
Speaker 1: What advice can you give to women today who want
Speaker 1: to take it to the next level with their career
Speaker 1: or aspirations.
Speaker 2: I think that next level is always an inside job,
Speaker 2: like to really come to a place where you understand,
Speaker 2: like why do I want to take it to the
Speaker 2: next level? Because you can say I want to build
Speaker 2: the vehicle. I know where the destination is, but like,
Speaker 2: what is going to be your fuel to the next level?
Speaker 2: And armed with that to really create space in your
Speaker 2: world for you to get there? Right, So if we
Speaker 2: use this car analogy, like there are certain times when
Speaker 2: you don't drive in la there are some places you
Speaker 2: go to the other side of the city at a
Speaker 2: certain time because you just know traffic. So you have
Speaker 2: to really assess, Okay, this is where I want to go.
Speaker 2: What is going to motivate me to withstand whatever resistance
Speaker 2: is going to be a part of that path? And
Speaker 2: then how am I going to execute this practically? What
Speaker 2: does that mean about my job? What does that mean
Speaker 2: about what time I wake up in the morning. I
Speaker 2: think it starts from the inside with external ponents that
Speaker 2: we begin to incorporate to make sure that we're able
Speaker 2: to move to that.
Speaker 3: To that next level. But it's not enough to just
Speaker 3: want to go to the next.
Speaker 2: Level if you don't know why, because when you do
Speaker 2: meet resistance, and you will meet resistance, you have to
Speaker 2: be able to popify whether or not you have what
Speaker 2: it takes to overcome it. And so why am I
Speaker 2: doing this? Why is this important to me? And understanding that,
Speaker 2: I believe is really I'm going to say three quarters
Speaker 2: of the battle from there. Execution is a Google you know,
Speaker 2: search away, but that why you can't find on Google?
Speaker 3: That why is down on the insight?
Speaker 1: Come on, come on, and I think you're already helping
Speaker 1: me transition over into while doing all of that. How
Speaker 1: you're managing the stress of it all? Even during this
Speaker 1: time during the pandemic, we see how the state of
Speaker 1: the country is, and we see anxiety and depression rates
Speaker 1: are on the rise. If you don't mind sharing, just personally,
Speaker 1: what are you doing to manage your stress during this time?
Speaker 2: I am kind of known around my house for suppressing
Speaker 2: my functions.
Speaker 3: Because sometimes I nobody got time.
Speaker 2: To feel things, all right, I have to get things
Speaker 2: done right, that's that performance thing, right. So what I
Speaker 2: am learning to do is to create space for me
Speaker 2: to feel and to identify what I'm feeling and to
Speaker 2: be okay with feeling that, because one, I need to
Speaker 2: figure out what I'm feeling, and for me, that takes work.
Speaker 2: For other people it might just be like there for them,
Speaker 2: but like I need to understand why am I feeling
Speaker 2: the way that I'm feeling, how can I love myself
Speaker 2: from where I am right now? How can I love
Speaker 2: this brokenness? How can I understand this brokenness? And then
Speaker 2: how can I allow myself to be loved and to growth?
Speaker 2: What do the perspectives look like? What does worship look like?
Speaker 2: Do I need to let someone into this moment? But
Speaker 2: it is about stillness for me, Like I was just
Speaker 2: sharing a message about how important it is for us
Speaker 2: to really take time to be intentional about being slow
Speaker 2: because we have such a microwave, rapid crashit boss culture
Speaker 2: and it is amazing. But the truth is that if
Speaker 2: we don't take time to cultivate being slow, then we
Speaker 2: will end up being machines when we were created to be.
Speaker 1: Being Well, you know that I hate. I've been hating that,
Speaker 1: saying while you was sleeping, I was grinding. Well, you
Speaker 1: crazy because I'm gonna take a nap. Well, I'm tired
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna take a nap. I'm gonna arrest. You
Speaker 1: were saying how you were allowing yourself to just be
Speaker 1: and allowing yourself to feel. Is it easy for you
Speaker 1: to be vulnerable?
Speaker 3: You know, I think being transparent and being vulnerable are
Speaker 3: two different thing.
Speaker 1: Two different things, yes, because I feel, especially as women,
Speaker 1: I think sometimes we are always on watch, and I
Speaker 1: believe we build these walls that we don't even know
Speaker 1: we're building. You know, that's just a way of coping,
Speaker 1: that's just the way of protecting ourselves. My mother never
Speaker 1: said you gotta be a strong woman. I just saw
Speaker 1: her strength. I never saw her crumble. I never to
Speaker 1: this day. I saw my mom cry for the first
Speaker 1: time in like two thousand and nine or ten at
Speaker 1: my grandmother's funeral. I never, in my forty one years
Speaker 1: of life have seen my mother cry. And I just
Speaker 1: remember that was a complaint in a relationship of mine,
Speaker 1: is that I'm not vulnerable. Although I feel Out'm transparent,
Speaker 1: I'm very honest, but I'm like vulnerable. So what do
Speaker 1: you mean? You want me to cry when the sun rises?
Speaker 1: You want me to cry when the birds are chirping.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I feel like as I begin
Speaker 1: to do some healing of my own heart, I found
Speaker 1: myself being vulnerable to the point where a couple weeks ago,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh Lord, no, I need you to
Speaker 1: hearten my heart again. I don't want to feel this.
Speaker 2: Is it easy for people to be vulnerable, Like, I
Speaker 2: don't think it's like easy, like it's not my default setting,
Speaker 2: but it is a less space in which I know
Speaker 2: I must live in and it just requires humility, it
Speaker 2: requires grace, it requires courage, and don't even talk about
Speaker 2: inviting someone else into that space. That's when it gets
Speaker 2: real real.
Speaker 1: What have been some of your coping strategies during this pandemic?
Speaker 1: Have you? Are you a homebody? Has the pandemic been
Speaker 1: working for you? It's been working for me because I
Speaker 1: like being home.
Speaker 3: I love being home.
Speaker 2: Home, home is my and I think before the pandemic,
Speaker 2: I was traveling and moving so much that it took
Speaker 2: me some time to accept that I didn't have to
Speaker 2: move anymore.
Speaker 3: And it was really like.
Speaker 2: It was emotional for me even like it's on a
Speaker 2: spiritual level, because it gave me time to finally accept
Speaker 2: my life. And that's why I think that idea of
Speaker 2: like embracing the slow is so important because your life
Speaker 2: is changing and you're moving, and sometimes we miss out
Speaker 2: on what has really transpired inside of us.
Speaker 3: And so it has been working for me. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: love being home.
Speaker 2: It's allowed me to really prioritize my health, like At
Speaker 2: first I was eating all of the next and then
Speaker 2: I was like you for not taking your You're always
Speaker 2: on the move, so like, let's really determine like who
Speaker 2: we're going to be in this moment. And it's made
Speaker 2: me a better mother, a better wife. I'd like to say,
Speaker 2: it's made me a better and more intentional friend too.
Speaker 1: That is awesome. And that's what checking in has been about,
Speaker 1: is making sure you are checking in with you, yeah,
Speaker 1: checking with others, and of course more importantly checking in
Speaker 1: with God. I know you've had your share of counseling
Speaker 1: single women, and I know just a few days ago
Speaker 1: you posted the most beautiful dope picture of you and
Speaker 1: Terree Pastor Terrey Roberts, your husband. I know you have
Speaker 1: many thoughts on women and singleness, and I just think
Speaker 1: that that question could It's so it's so broad. If
Speaker 1: you had one thing to say today as a relation
Speaker 1: to women in singleness, whether it's waiting, whether it's not
Speaker 1: worshiping the desire of marriage or investing in yourself, just basically,
Speaker 1: what should we be doing right now?
Speaker 2: I think that one of the things that we haven't
Speaker 2: done the best job at doing in the really affirming
Speaker 2: a woman in her identity outside of marriage. And I
Speaker 2: think marriage has become like this arrival, this trophy, this
Speaker 2: awar that you get for doing things the right way
Speaker 2: if you leave it up to religion. Yes, yes, I
Speaker 2: believe this single woman should really take the time to
Speaker 2: really love and embrace who they are without the validation
Speaker 2: of a relationship or a man that makes them feel better.
Speaker 2: Like I think my most treasured moments with myself happened
Speaker 2: when I was single.
Speaker 3: Now I share my life with my.
Speaker 2: Husband and I have a life that I love because
Speaker 2: I married someone who was worthy of me sharing my
Speaker 2: life with.
Speaker 3: But I would have never made that decision had I not.
Speaker 2: Taken the time to really love and understand my own
Speaker 2: self worth and value. And that doesn't come from being
Speaker 2: with someone. That comes from being with yourself.
Speaker 1: Come on, because I feel like when you have a
Speaker 1: need to be with someone, maybe that's where you settle.
Speaker 2: So much of your identity is then wrapped up into
Speaker 2: that person you know, and so like, I know who
Speaker 2: I am unless I am with you. And I think
Speaker 2: that one of the reasons I know, for in fact,
Speaker 2: one of the reasons my husband loves me is because,
Speaker 2: like I know who I am outside of our marriage,
Speaker 2: so I know who he's receiving. I know what I
Speaker 2: can do, I know what I can't do, I know
Speaker 2: when I'm off center, what I need he to Our
Speaker 2: marriage is successful because it depends on an awareness like
Speaker 2: about our self. And if you don't have that self
Speaker 2: awareness going into a marriage, you're going to abuse the
Speaker 2: person you're with because you're going to ask them to
Speaker 2: be medicine for your soul twenty four to seven because
Speaker 2: you don't know what it takes to heal you yourself.
Speaker 1: Absolutely. So basically we have to have a way where
Speaker 1: we are soothing ourselves. We are not asking them to
Speaker 1: fill us up. Although it's nice because affirmation fills you up,
Speaker 1: protection fills you up, respect fills you up. But at
Speaker 1: the same time, you're not coming into the relationship so
Speaker 1: empty like this cup I hold in my hand, and
Speaker 1: you're expecting them to fill you up so much and
Speaker 1: you don't have anything to fill them back up with
Speaker 1: in return. And I will say when you look at
Speaker 1: that that that is definitely not fair. You spoke about
Speaker 1: the church's response to singleness and marriage. I want you
Speaker 1: to know that I appreciate on your podcast when you
Speaker 1: have doctor Anita Phillips on there talking about mental health.
Speaker 1: What do you think overall the church's response to the
Speaker 1: topic of mental health has been lately.
Speaker 2: Lately, I think that we have come to a place
Speaker 2: where we have accepted that we are outleads when it
Speaker 2: comes to helping people walk through mental health issues, and
Speaker 2: I think that's a beautiful space to be in.
Speaker 3: I can tell you.
Speaker 2: About Bible study, but at the end of the day,
Speaker 2: I am not a clinical professional who can help you
Speaker 2: understand the way that your brain works, the way that
Speaker 2: your mind responds to trauma.
Speaker 3: And I think that we.
Speaker 2: Are allowing ourselves to be okay with that, which is
Speaker 2: freeing so many people to use prayer and therapy or
Speaker 2: weapon and not feeling like I have to choose one
Speaker 2: or the other, or that makes me less of a believer,
Speaker 2: because I've seen so many people now embracing mental health
Speaker 2: perspectives that just five years ago we would have said,
Speaker 2: you need to pray that away, or you just need
Speaker 2: to turn on the worship music and that out of
Speaker 2: go away. When you feel the Holy Spirit empowering you,
Speaker 2: it may not mean that the depression breaks you instantly
Speaker 2: in that moment, but they could definitely, Spirit is empowering
Speaker 2: you to call that therapist to finally be Okay, we're
Speaker 2: going to get that medication. And that's like the Holy
Speaker 2: Spirit can work in a number of ways, and I
Speaker 2: feel like that's important for you people to know, even
Speaker 2: if you don't get that immediate breakthrough in the moment,
Speaker 2: if you feel like now I feel empowered to call someone,
Speaker 2: Now I feel empowered to get help. That is the
Speaker 2: Holy Spirit too, like we're going to take what he
Speaker 2: gives us an apply it to the tools that are
Speaker 2: available to us.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I always say prayer and therapy go hand in hand.
Speaker 1: Every Monday around noon has been my standing appointment. And
Speaker 1: when I get off of my therapy, zoom, I know
Speaker 1: I can take more specific things to God in prayer,
Speaker 1: be like, now God, you hurt the therapist, you hurt
Speaker 1: what she said. And I really just encourage people that
Speaker 1: Sarah said, you can do both. You can pray and
Speaker 1: have a therapist. Because we have to also know that
Speaker 1: we cannot put everything on the minister or the pastor.
Speaker 1: You know, every minister and pastor they're not trained in
Speaker 1: that area of mental health. But I do feel like
Speaker 1: some churches are now having in house therapists in their ministry,
Speaker 1: or they have more contacts when they come in and say, pastor,
Speaker 1: this is what I'm doing this, this is what I'm
Speaker 1: going through. And instead of him just reading you a
Speaker 1: scripture or praying for you, he can do that, but
Speaker 1: he also can go into his contact list and say, hey,
Speaker 1: I want to refer you to this trusted clinical practitioner
Speaker 1: to help you in whatever area you need, and that
Speaker 1: does not diminish the God in you. I don't want
Speaker 1: people to feel like, well, if I go to therapy
Speaker 1: or if I talk to somebody about it, that I'm
Speaker 1: leaving God out the equation if I don't talk to him.
Speaker 1: I think that we are able to do both. Sarah,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us. If you can
Speaker 1: just encourage everybody out here about keeping their faith and
Speaker 1: how to empower us during this time. We don't know
Speaker 1: how long this pandemic is gonna last. We don't know
Speaker 1: if things are going to go back to normal. Can
Speaker 1: you give us just a moment of encouragement.
Speaker 2: What has been encouraged me encouraging me in this season,
Speaker 2: whether it's the political division, or the pandemic or the
Speaker 2: racial undrest, is that God has not been caught by
Speaker 2: surprise by any of it. That he may look at
Speaker 2: it and his heart is breaking, but he's not looking
Speaker 2: at it as the way that I am, and that
Speaker 2: he knows the end from the beginning. And if He
Speaker 2: chose for us to be alive in this season, at
Speaker 2: this time, in this generation, it's because we can be
Speaker 2: a part of bringing the change and the transformation that
Speaker 2: is so desperately needed. And so you're listening to this,
Speaker 2: and maybe you've been feeling stressed, maybe you've been feeling
Speaker 2: lost in computer. I want you to know that you
Speaker 2: are here by design, on time, that God has a
Speaker 2: strategy and a plan, and I want to empower you
Speaker 2: to move whatever stressors, to make space to go to therapy,
Speaker 2: to get the help that you need so that you
Speaker 2: can be clear about how you can be a change
Speaker 2: agent in this season. Nothing changes the atmosphere like being
Speaker 2: a part of the change. And so I want to
Speaker 2: encourage you to do the work, to show up so
Speaker 2: that we can see this world turn into what God
Speaker 2: had in mind when he placed us in it.
Speaker 1: My gosh, y'all, I'm gonna send her a cash app,
Speaker 1: you know. And I say that because you always drop
Speaker 1: so much knowledge and insight for us to take away
Speaker 1: and actually apply it. It's so practical, but yet it
Speaker 1: is powerful. Sarah, I want to thank you for joining
Speaker 1: me on my podcast today. I really appreciate you forgiving
Speaker 1: us your time today.
Speaker 3: I love you. I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 2: I cannot believe that we are doing something new and amazing.
Speaker 2: That I shouldn't be new and amazing.
Speaker 3: It is just what you do.
Speaker 1: Okay, come on, come on, well, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: We continue to lift you up and support everything you
Speaker 1: gotta do. Tell us where we can find you, and
Speaker 1: tell us anything next for you that we need to
Speaker 1: be aware of. Thank you, Sarah. We'll see you later. Okay, everybody,
Speaker 1: y'all aren't gonna hear me crying. I'm gonna try to
Speaker 1: get myself together when I say. Sarah is a friend
Speaker 1: and a sister. Sarah and her husband, they were there
Speaker 1: for me in a really, really dark moment, and I
Speaker 1: really appreciate them for that. I really thank her for
Speaker 1: not judging but praying. And we need people like that
Speaker 1: in our life when we are going through. None of
Speaker 1: us are immune to going through. And I just pray
Speaker 1: right now that everybody listening to this episode, I just
Speaker 1: want to let you know I pray that you have
Speaker 1: a safe circle. I pray that you have safe people
Speaker 1: so that when you're going through or even when you
Speaker 1: want something to celebrate, that you have a safe crowd
Speaker 1: of people who will love on you. Because yes, we
Speaker 1: have people that we can call on who actually love
Speaker 1: when we're going through something. Right, the reason why I'm
Speaker 1: crying is because which I said I wasn't gonna cry,
Speaker 1: is because she can celebrate this moment for me with
Speaker 1: my podcast. She has a podcast too, but she's not saying, well,
Speaker 1: I have a podcast, so why would I do your podcast.
Speaker 1: It's not that kind of spirit at all. And my
Speaker 1: book is called checking In, And I just am so
Speaker 1: grateful to have others that I can check in with
Speaker 1: because I teach people check in with yourself, but check
Speaker 1: in with others. And just know, I pray you feel
Speaker 1: like you're not a burden to people. There are so
Speaker 1: many people who have died by suicide simply because they
Speaker 1: felt they were a burden to somebody, simply because they
Speaker 1: felt like they could not pick up the phone and
Speaker 1: call somebody or do this when someone asks us how
Speaker 1: we're doing we lie and say we're fine. But because
Speaker 1: of the spirit that Sarah left behind, I want to
Speaker 1: go even further and pray that you feel you are
Speaker 1: your strongest when you could admit your weakness. It takes
Speaker 1: strength to tell somebody I'm not doing okay. I feel
Speaker 1: like I want to give up. You are at your
Speaker 1: strongest when you can even tell somebody yo, I even
Speaker 1: have a plan to take my own life. I'm not
Speaker 1: just talking about it. I'm gonna walk this out. I
Speaker 1: actually have a plan, and I just pray right now
Speaker 1: that you have a safe circle. We will also be
Speaker 1: providing resources for you to call. There are so many
Speaker 1: apps that are available for you to get a therapist
Speaker 1: or someone that you can talk to where you can
Speaker 1: see them face to face. Listen, y'all, we invest in
Speaker 1: our our hair, our clothes. We invest in the latest sneakers,
Speaker 1: but we're buying sneakers that cost three hundred dollars and
Speaker 1: in some places that is three therapy sessions. And if
Speaker 1: you feel like I'm preaching, I am because I want
Speaker 1: us to get to talking it out with somebody. You
Speaker 1: can do it. Men, especially, I want you to know
Speaker 1: you are at your strongest when you can admit a
Speaker 1: weakness or a struggle, and if I do, say so myself,
Speaker 1: you're a little more attractive when you can do that. Women,
Speaker 1: there is something about us being able to be vulnerable,
Speaker 1: not needy, but just vulnerable and say I'm not doing well,
Speaker 1: I'm in need of help. I'm not the strong woman
Speaker 1: that y'all see on Instagram because how many of us.
Speaker 1: We post so many things on Instagram that people don't
Speaker 1: feel like you need help. They don't feel like you
Speaker 1: need help, so they're not gonna check on you, and
Speaker 1: they say check on your quote unquote strong people. I
Speaker 1: just want to also let you know I've been there.
Speaker 1: You know. People are like, well, your friends are Beyonce
Speaker 1: and Kelly. I've got other friends, but those are the
Speaker 1: two people that people bring up the most and they say, well,
Speaker 1: those are your friends. What do you have to be
Speaker 1: sad about? You know, my depression and anxiety it started
Speaker 1: way before coming into this industry. Mine started out as
Speaker 1: whatever age around sixth or seventh grade. That's when it
Speaker 1: started for me. So you can't equate someone's success with
Speaker 1: how they're feeling on the inside. I didn't have an outlet.
Speaker 1: I didn't know what to call it. I just knew
Speaker 1: I was not feeling the same, and I thought that
Speaker 1: therapy was just for maybe upper class white people. And
Speaker 1: like I said, I talk about it more in my
Speaker 1: book Checking In. You guys have to get into it.
Speaker 1: You have to read it. You have to know getting
Speaker 1: help is one of the strongest, swaggiest things you could
Speaker 1: ever do. I can go on and on and on.
Speaker 1: I think my takeaway is you are loved. We talked
Speaker 1: about strength, we talked a little bit about entrepreneurshiping and
Speaker 1: building yourself, but I think I'm led to tell you
Speaker 1: throughout all of this, this conversation went in a whole
Speaker 1: nother direction. I just want you to know you're loved
Speaker 1: and you can make it. You're not alone. It's heavy
Speaker 1: lifting to do the work, but you can do this.
Speaker 1: You can do this if we go lift weights at
Speaker 1: the gym, or do pushups, or do whatever. If we
Speaker 1: lift that coffee cup to our mouths, if we lift
Speaker 1: that honey bun or whatever it is, that kale and
Speaker 1: spinach or that memosa, whatever you got in your hand
Speaker 1: right now, I think it takes that same amount of
Speaker 1: energy to pick up the phone and get the help
Speaker 1: you need. Or send a text to somebody. Heck, if
Speaker 1: you want to me a DM in my Instagram messages
Speaker 1: and just get it out, Get it out. Once again,
Speaker 1: you are loved. Checking In with Michelle Williams is a
Speaker 1: production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts
Speaker 1: from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.