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Speaker 1: If I could like walk into a house in the

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Speaker 1: Midwest unannounced and just just sitting down with regular people. Yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: here's here's a nine foot insecured you coming to your

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Speaker 1: home and you just knock on the door. What's that smell?

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Speaker 1: You could be that boy, I smell meat loafing aim.

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Speaker 1: You have to be like Allen, you know? Can I

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Speaker 1: come in?

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Speaker 2: I love talking to comedians because I feel like to

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Speaker 2: be a really good comedian you have to be really

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Speaker 2: self aware. And I think my least favorite people to

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Speaker 2: talk to are people who can't see what everybody else sees,

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Speaker 2: like do you know yourself at all? And comedians know thyselves.

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Speaker 2: There are no pretenses or veneers. And my next guest

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Speaker 2: is so funny but also so thoughtful and lovely. You

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Speaker 2: know him from Everybody Loves Raymond, the Emmy nominated film Gleason,

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Speaker 2: where he played Jackie Gleason till Death the Night at

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Speaker 2: the Museum Movies. He performs regularly at his own comedy

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Speaker 2: club at the MGM Grand because he's a baller who

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Speaker 2: has their own comedy club. It's Brad Garrett. Welcome to

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Speaker 2: off the cup. Brad. How are you good? I'm better now?

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Speaker 2: That you're here.

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Speaker 1: Great to be here. I feel a little self aware.

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Speaker 1: Is it okay?

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Speaker 2: Your hair looks great?

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Speaker 1: Thank you. Part of it's mine and part of it

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Speaker 1: was donated to me.

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Speaker 2: It was a gift.

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Speaker 1: Actually, I took the hair off my dog before I

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Speaker 1: ate it. So it's Alicia. It was time. It was

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Speaker 1: time for him. He was ready, had a shelte. Good

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Speaker 1: to see you, honey, Good to see you.

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Speaker 2: I'm so happy to talk to you because we've been

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Speaker 2: like Twitter or Instagram friends for a few years now.

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Speaker 1: Have you been getting my dms and everything? You're okay

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Speaker 1: with the pictures?

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Speaker 2: Nothing untoward was sent. Just want everyone to know.

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Speaker 1: Good.

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Speaker 2: There's so much I want to get into with you.

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Speaker 2: I want to start. I want to start with your childhood.

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Speaker 2: Were you funny as a kid?

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Speaker 1: You know? I think, yeah, I was? I was. I

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Speaker 1: think I you know. I was raised by uh, loving

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Speaker 1: parents that really struggled mentally, okay, and my mom suffered

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Speaker 1: from extreme depression. My father was a wonderful man and

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Speaker 1: really really my hero growing up, but he was bipolar

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Speaker 1: and we didn't know that until much later in life.

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Speaker 1: We just thought he was eccentric and yeah, fun and

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Speaker 1: you know, wanted his son to be his wingman and

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Speaker 1: all great things when I was growing up. But I

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Speaker 1: think when you're raised with parents that struggle no matter

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Speaker 1: what it is, I think we feel like it's our

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Speaker 1: job to entertain.

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Speaker 2: Them or make them happy, make them laugh.

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Speaker 1: Them happy, fix the problem.

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Speaker 2: There's a lot of pressure.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it is. It is. And you know, my mom

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Speaker 1: was very critical, and it was like she didn't even

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Speaker 1: want me in the home movies, which every time she

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Speaker 1: would think she always said, you know what, good audition,

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Speaker 1: We're going another way. And she would try to cast

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Speaker 1: other children in my room growing up, which she heardened

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Speaker 1: me made this armor. No, but I think you know,

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Speaker 1: my father was incredibly funny and I got a lot

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Speaker 1: of that from him. But I was bullied a lot

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Speaker 1: growing up because I was like six feet to twelve.

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Speaker 1: I had no athletic ability. I looked and this is

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Speaker 1: a compliment, I looked like Liza Minelli as I was

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Speaker 1: growing up. No, I really did. I'll send you some

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Speaker 1: picture they're touching them please. But I had, you know,

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Speaker 1: I had eyes that looked like I was crying off

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Speaker 1: my mascarra every time I went to school. I just

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Speaker 1: I had that looked like when I look at the pictures,

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Speaker 1: there's only three pictures of me from my childhood. One

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Speaker 1: was in court. I look like I have three jobs.

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Speaker 1: I looked like I could be making iPhones in China.

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Speaker 1: When I look at the small, small pictures of me,

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Speaker 1: I look at I go what was I going through?

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Speaker 1: But it was a lot of people really trying hard

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Speaker 1: to do their best. Yeah, and you know there was

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Speaker 1: there was a lot of you know, dysfunction.

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Speaker 2: But did you have siblings?

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Speaker 1: I had two older brothers, quite a bit older than

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Speaker 1: I'm the youngest of three, and my oldest brother was

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Speaker 1: nine years older and then the middle was six years older.

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Speaker 1: We have the same mom, different dads, okay, and we

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Speaker 1: were as close as we could be. You know. The

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Speaker 1: key was to get out as soon as we could

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Speaker 1: of the house and kind of do our own, our

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Speaker 1: own thing and it. You know, it's so difficult when

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Speaker 1: people you love and you're closed with struggle and the

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Speaker 1: refuse help.

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Speaker 2: Oh, is that what happened? They didn't want to get

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Speaker 2: They really didn't want the help. That's of a generation,

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Speaker 2: I think it is.

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Speaker 1: That's why I love talking about this stuff, you know,

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Speaker 1: because of people like yourself and you know it's now important,

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Speaker 1: you know, and that it's okay, you know, to not

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Speaker 1: be okay as they say, I know that's so clich Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's true, and it's good to know that people do,

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Speaker 1: you know, face a lot of challenges, and I think

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Speaker 1: more so than ever because of this crazy world word

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Speaker 1: I guess.

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Speaker 2: And I want to talk about mental health a lot

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Speaker 2: with you because that's the point of this. But so

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Speaker 2: you you go to college but you drop out right

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Speaker 2: to do comedy.

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Speaker 1: Yes, well I was. I was also encouraged to leave. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the school was like, you're you're not cut out for this,

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Speaker 1: and I you know, I busted my behind to be

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Speaker 1: like a strong B student. And growing up I really

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Speaker 1: didn't have friends, you know, a lot of them. Some

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Speaker 1: I paid and they were right by the house and hunk.

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Speaker 1: But my teachers were kind of like my See. I

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Speaker 1: knew early on that if you if you make the

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Speaker 1: teachers laugh when you're the class clown, they have something.

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Speaker 1: It's easy to make the other kids laugh, especially in

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Speaker 1: public school because you know, so I think when I

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Speaker 1: made my teachers laugh, I knew that there was really

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Speaker 1: something there. And early on my teachers really went like

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Speaker 1: you got to get in the theater. I mean I

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Speaker 1: was doing stand up at like sixteen, I was doing

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Speaker 1: bar Mitzvah's and it was really you know, it's horrific.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you've ever tried to make rabbis laugh,

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Speaker 1: but it's it was hell.

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Speaker 2: You had encouragement and people recognize that you were talented young.

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Speaker 1: I had encouraged it. My parents were incredibly encouraging. You know.

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Speaker 1: My dad really got it. And I think my mom

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Speaker 1: was hoping that, you know, if if I got famous,

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Speaker 1: that maybe she could get a job. You know, I

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Speaker 1: think it was kind of her thing. You know. It's

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Speaker 1: like when I started opening for different acts in Vegas,

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Speaker 1: I would have my parents, you know, would I would

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Speaker 1: have my mom and her third husband, my stepdad. I

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Speaker 1: would have him in the audience. I was opening for

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Speaker 1: Sinatra for a while and last part of his life,

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Speaker 1: you know, when he was God bless him, I mean,

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Speaker 1: the greatest, but he was like does summer Win does

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Speaker 1: a tray up? Bob Bob? So now, yeah, I was

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Speaker 1: just so happy for the gig. And I grew up

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Speaker 1: on that music, so that was like it was incredible,

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Speaker 1: But less Frank, he had bigger things to remember, and

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Speaker 1: he called me Greg Barrett for two years while opening

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Speaker 1: for him, you know. And Frank isn't the guy you

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Speaker 1: stick down and correct.

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Speaker 2: You don't correct Frank, you don't.

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Speaker 1: You know. And I went to his buddy Julie and

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Speaker 1: I went, you know, we've been on the road five months.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you can tell Frank that I'm Brad, you know.

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Speaker 1: And he's like, you want the gig or not? You

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Speaker 1: don't like working with Frank. And it became that. So

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Speaker 1: I was Greg, and my mom from the audience was like,

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Speaker 1: his name is Brad?

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Speaker 3: His name?

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Speaker 1: This happened in Vegas, okay? And I would take her

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Speaker 1: and I would talk about my mom and my aunt.

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Speaker 1: She would say that isn't true. His mother I never

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Speaker 1: you know. So there was eventually a restraining order at

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Speaker 1: the Desert Inn to keep my mom from and then

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Speaker 1: she hit on Steve Lawrence when I opened for Steve

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Speaker 1: and Edie.

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Speaker 2: And she's like a character.

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Speaker 1: Oh, she was wonderful. She told Sammy Davis that not every.

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Speaker 3: Night is bad Duke my god.

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Speaker 1: Yeah it was, I gotta tell you, but but I

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Speaker 1: felt better if I did an invite her. Yeah, was

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Speaker 1: a wonderfully complicated woman.

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Speaker 2: So at twenty three, you go on Carson, one of

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Speaker 2: the youngest comedians ever to go on that show. What

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Speaker 2: how did you take all of that in?

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Speaker 1: Well, you know, it was, you know, it's it's kind

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Speaker 1: of hard to explain. I mean it was you know,

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Speaker 1: you're behind that curtain you grow up watching, and you

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Speaker 1: know it was, you know, my stand up until I

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Speaker 1: really found myself. It was very you know, pedestrian and

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Speaker 1: really kind of hackey and just nothing really where you're going,

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Speaker 1: wow this, you know, and uh, it was okay. But

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Speaker 1: I had one Star search and Ed McMahon hosted that

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Speaker 1: winning star search, and you know I would always get

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Speaker 1: ice for Ed and sneak it into his trailer and

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Speaker 1: I would open up the salve and he would tell

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Speaker 1: me stories. And so he helped, I think, get me

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Speaker 1: on the Tonight Show. And I did a handful of him,

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Speaker 1: and you know, it really really helped because in those days,

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Speaker 1: you know, there were five channels and if you did

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Speaker 1: decent would you know, I think my key was timing

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Speaker 1: in cadence over material.

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Speaker 3: Suit.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and then I just like when I was opening

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Speaker 1: for the big acts and they never want to see

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Speaker 1: the opening act. I left my material and I just

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Speaker 1: started to roast the crowd.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, a lot of.

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Speaker 1: You know, rejection anger. And then Frank's audience, you know,

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Speaker 1: you take went to the melon if you roast the

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Speaker 1: wrong guy. John Gotti in the front row in Atlantic City.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know who John Gotty was. This was ninety one.

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Speaker 1: He was in the front row in a top hat,

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Speaker 1: dark glasses and like a white shirt and tails. And

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Speaker 1: I went, oh, my god, it's mister peanut, you know,

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Speaker 1: just joking around. So I go backstage and.

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Speaker 2: You said that to his face.

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Speaker 1: Well he was in the audience. I didn't know it

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Speaker 1: was John Gotti, you know. And I go backstage and

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Speaker 1: Jilly was like, you have to hide. So they put me,

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Speaker 1: you know, they said, don't come out until we let

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Speaker 1: you know. John Gotti went backstage, and I'm sure there

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Speaker 1: was gunplay and him Frank played I don't know crazy

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Speaker 1: eights or whatever they did. But the point is I

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Speaker 1: started busting the balls of Frank's people that were in

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Speaker 1: the front row, and they loved it. And you know,

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Speaker 1: it's kind of like Rickles on steroids. Yeah, and so

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Speaker 1: now in this, you know, and this what I do

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Speaker 1: at my club is just you know, mostly crowd work

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Speaker 1: and improv, which I love and.

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Speaker 2: That's my thing, and that's really come back, Like crowd

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Speaker 2: work is so popular now.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's all I've really, I mean, I mean

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Speaker 1: never done, you know, And yeah, yeah, like Gray, you know,

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Speaker 1: Ray and I worked together for a while and he

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Speaker 1: would say, why Kurt, you suit down for five minutes

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Speaker 1: and right, just right, and I'm like, look you right,

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Speaker 1: and I'm great. Now. He's really amazing. I mean, he's

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Speaker 1: really funny. He's a great writer. That's never been my thing.

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Speaker 1: I'd rather go out without a net and I get

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Speaker 1: moored easy. And you know, we spent many many years

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Speaker 1: on the road together and having a great time and

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Speaker 1: working the casinos together. Yeah, but I think there was

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Speaker 1: a time where the casinos were really worried, especially during

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Speaker 1: the cancel culture, and I went, you know, this is

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Speaker 1: what I do and this is what it is, and

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Speaker 1: you know you're not going to change at sixty four

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Speaker 1: and I love doing this. And yeah, that it did

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Speaker 1: a whole full circle. And now people seem to really

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Speaker 1: want the edge because they're so tired of hearing what

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Speaker 1: they can laugh at what they can't laugh at. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you know, you have to have a career to

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Speaker 1: get canceled. So thank god I can't get canceled.

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Speaker 2: You've had a career. Stop.

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Speaker 1: I'm working the food court, Essie. I love to have

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Speaker 1: you and the kid come by. We got balloons. He

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Speaker 1: can color the menu.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So you mentioned Ray is landing a sitcom, especially

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Speaker 2: a successful one, the dream for comedians or do you

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Speaker 2: prefer stand up?

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Speaker 1: Well, you know, I always felt that acting was I mean,

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Speaker 1: I was always doing stand up. But to me, acting was,

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Speaker 1: you know, the holy grail. That was the brass room

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Speaker 1: for me, you know, and get on that show. I

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Speaker 1: mean I auditioned and a couple times, and I knew

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Speaker 1: how lucky I was, you know, a halfway through the

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Speaker 1: first season you go board. The chemistry of the cast

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Speaker 1: was so organic, and that's really the key. After you

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Speaker 1: have great writers. You got to have the writers. And

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Speaker 1: this group was just about, you know, as good as

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Speaker 1: they get. And there was that synergy of just everything popping,

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Speaker 1: and Ray knew what the show is about, and Phil

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Speaker 1: knew how to create it around Ray, and it was

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Speaker 1: just one of those things. And I got lucky. You know,

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Speaker 1: you got to you gotta be lucky too. You got

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Speaker 1: to work hard, but when that audition comes, you got

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Speaker 1: to be prepared. I was never some I mean I

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Speaker 1: could have done stand up my whole life and been

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Speaker 1: happy because I still love it. You know. It wasn't like, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to try stand up and maybe that'll get

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Speaker 1: me a sitcom because you know, like for a while

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Speaker 1: they were giving people on TikTok that had two million

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Speaker 1: followers a pilot, and yeah, you know what happens with

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Speaker 1: that because they don't have a skill set, they just

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Speaker 1: have something that went viral. Right, So back in those days,

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Speaker 1: you know, we really worked on our craft. I was

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Speaker 1: an acting class since I was eighteen, So it was

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Speaker 1: something that I always, you know, felt I wanted to do,

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Speaker 1: not something that would necessarily crack for me.

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Speaker 2: So Raymond Goes ninety six to two thousand and five,

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Speaker 2: Seinfeld was eighty nine to ninety eight, Fraser Is ninety

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Speaker 2: three to two thousand and four, Friends ninety four to

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Speaker 2: two thousand and four, Will and Grace ninety eight to

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Speaker 2: two thousand and six. King of Queens ninety eight to

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Speaker 2: two thousand and seven. You were airing concurrently with the

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Speaker 2: biggest sitcoms on the planet, including yours. Yeah, well, what

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Speaker 2: was that? I mean, it's such a high time for sitcoms.

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Speaker 2: What was that like? And were there like any rivalries?

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Speaker 1: You know, there really weren't rivalries. I mean to be honest.

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Speaker 1: You know, Friends and Seinfeld they were the juggernauts. You know,

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Speaker 1: we were very different show. Those shows were really pushing

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Speaker 1: the envelope and friendship super sexy and really funny and

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Speaker 1: yeah and Frasier was you know, that was such a

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Speaker 1: high bar. We were doing something really kind of different.

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Speaker 1: That kind of went back to, you know, that old

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Speaker 1: vibe of what sitcoms were.

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Speaker 2: Like all in the family.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I mean to me, that's, you know, nothing

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Speaker 1: better than that shob right in my opinion, But I

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Speaker 1: think that's what, you know, that was what I think

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Speaker 1: everyone wanted to strive for that family unit that you know,

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Speaker 1: had no choice but to be together and how do

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Speaker 1: we navigate that? And you know, Phil ran the show

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Speaker 1: where like when he would break a story literally the

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Speaker 1: writer's room every Monday, he would go around the table

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Speaker 1: to the writers and he would go, you know, what

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Speaker 1: happened this weekend? What happened this weekend? And almost all

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Speaker 1: the time something would be hatched in that room it's

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Speaker 1: it's like the luggage episode. It was a big, a

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Speaker 1: big episode for the show where you know, Ray and

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Speaker 1: Dever just argued over who's going to put away that

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Speaker 1: last piece of luggage?

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Speaker 2: Are you referring to the suitcase that you haven't moved

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Speaker 2: in three weeks? Is that the suitcase to which.

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Speaker 1: You are referring?

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Speaker 2: Why couldn't you move it? Why couldn't you move it?

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Speaker 1: All right?

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Speaker 2: You are not going to the airport with a grocery bag.

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Speaker 1: Take the suitcase. You know, that little pettiness of marriage

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Speaker 1: and those kind of things. You know, it all happened

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Speaker 1: the thing with my my lucky suit you know when

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Speaker 1: I went to interview with the FBI. You know, this

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Speaker 1: is something that happened to one of the writers fathers,

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Speaker 1: you know, and it just it just comes from a

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Speaker 1: good place. That being said, you know, we knew who

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Speaker 1: the big boys were, you know when we watched Seinfeld

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Speaker 1: and Friends the way anybody else did, But there weren't

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Speaker 1: the real you know, a real satisfaction of airing during

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Speaker 1: that golden era and be able to hold our.

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Speaker 2: Own Oh totally yeah, And you very memorable part on

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Speaker 2: Seinfeld the mechanic.

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Speaker 1: There's really nothing wrong on the inside. Well, the ship

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Speaker 1: Nove is loose. You know about that?

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Speaker 2: No, I haven't noticed.

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Speaker 1: Have you been picking at it?

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Speaker 3: Have I been picking at it?

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Speaker 1: No? You know, just wear and tear, wearing tear.

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Speaker 2: I see love it. But I've heard tell me if

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Speaker 2: I'm wrong. I've heard that that was a tough set

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Speaker 2: because they were so big and coming on for an

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Speaker 2: episode or two was tough. How did you find that?

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Speaker 1: You know, I found it incredibly easy. Actually, we shot

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Speaker 1: on location. I read for Jerry And.

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Speaker 2: Did you know Jerry before?

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Speaker 1: No, No, no, I didn't. I didn't even know Ray before.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, but no, Ray, yeah, yeah, and we heard

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Speaker 1: when I was up for his brother. You know, Ray

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Speaker 1: was like, not the guy from Star Search. And you know, honestly,

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Speaker 1: you know I get it because you know, I'm on

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Speaker 1: Star Search going you know, what if Cosby was a pilot,

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Speaker 1: you know, give me this stuff. You know, obviously before

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Speaker 1: the yeah right, obviously before he found out he really

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Speaker 1: wasn't a pilot. Now, yeah, so I was doing stuff

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Speaker 1: like that. You know that scared a lot of comics.

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Speaker 1: It scared me, but you know I needed the money.

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Speaker 1: So you know, My point is, it's you know, I

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Speaker 1: had to find my way physically and really every other way.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't the character they were looking for for Ray's brother,

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Speaker 1: you know, because Ra's brother, really, you know, was an

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Speaker 1: NYPD cop under cover. They kind of wanted like a

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Speaker 1: Danny DeVito type of scrappy, smaller guy that wasn't intimidating

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Speaker 1: to Ray because the line everybody loves Raymond is what

357
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Speaker 1: his cop brother said in real life to him when

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Speaker 1: Ray won the Ace Award. You know, he came home

359
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Speaker 1: and he looked at the award and he said that line.

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Speaker 1: When did he get this?

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Speaker 2: Oh, that's an award your brother got for his sports column.

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Speaker 1: Never ends for Raymond, Robbie, Everybody loves Raymond. I go

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Speaker 1: to work, people shoot at me. Why goes to work?

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Speaker 1: People do the wave? When he sits down, has a

365
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Speaker 1: hot dog, doodles on a piece of paper, they gimme

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Speaker 1: a trophy. So I knew the writing was so great

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Speaker 1: when I read the pilot, and I had trouble getting

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Speaker 1: in because they didn't see me as and I got that,

369
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:46,919
Speaker 1: but I said, just let me read. I have a

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Speaker 1: different take of this guy, and it was, you know,

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Speaker 1: I had to go against my size by not playing

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Speaker 1: him too e or I mean like from year one

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Speaker 1: a year two. I had to bump it up a

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Speaker 1: bit because and you know, pivot a little because it

375
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,639
Speaker 1: was able two beaten where you're two. You know, it

376
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 1: was like it was like, you know, he's got to

377
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Speaker 1: be a contender. It's he's a contender, you know. Yeah,

378
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,800
Speaker 1: we didn't find him at a carnival, you know, rightful

379
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:18,800
Speaker 1: way of putting things. So as an actor, I use

380
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Speaker 1: the thing is like in my head, I was raised

381
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 1: an only child, and they forgot to tell Robert. So

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Speaker 1: this is something I tried to carry.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's so great. How'd you come up with that?

384
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Speaker 1: It was just, you know, I knew I had to

385
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Speaker 1: find something a fine line of I haven't given up

386
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Speaker 1: in life, I've given up on them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, right, yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I was able to celebrate even the small things

389
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Speaker 1: that happened. And then later in the show, I discovered, wait,

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Speaker 1: I have something that none of the men in this

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Speaker 1: family have. My freedom. That was before I got married

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Speaker 1: to the wonderful Monica. So but before for that, I

393
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Speaker 1: had that freedom. And the way the writers wrote it

394
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,720
Speaker 1: is that was something that filled and Ray envied my

395
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Speaker 1: social life, me being able to come home when I want,

396
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Speaker 1: eat dinner when I want. So they found that nugget

397
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Speaker 1: to keep me on life support.

398
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Speaker 2: You know, yeah, I get it. I want to talk

399
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:28,560
Speaker 2: about a movie. I absolutely adore music and lyrics. Oh

400
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:30,000
Speaker 2: really love it?

401
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:35,080
Speaker 1: Do you have cable? Oh no, I had, I had

402
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:37,760
Speaker 1: a lot of That was a fun movie.

403
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Speaker 2: I mean it's got such great heart. I love the music.

404
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:43,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a ball.

405
00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:46,960
Speaker 2: It looked fun like first Drew and and Hugh just

406
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:51,400
Speaker 2: look fun amazing. Yeah, and you play an agent of

407
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:56,800
Speaker 2: this like aging sort of wham, like the artist just

408
00:22:56,880 --> 00:23:00,720
Speaker 2: like struggling to get him on like county fairs exactly. Well,

409
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:05,080
Speaker 2: it's just so great. I hope other people have seen it,

410
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 2: and if they haven't, go see it because it's just

411
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:08,960
Speaker 2: a great movie. It looked like a lot of fun.

412
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Speaker 1: It was a fun one. When they used to do

413
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:11,840
Speaker 1: those rom coms.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what happened, Yeah, yeah, don't know what.

415
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,600
Speaker 1: Happened to that. You know, I think they can do

416
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:19,560
Speaker 1: it now, and even you know, they can keep the

417
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:22,800
Speaker 1: edge that they want to do now. So many of

418
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,560
Speaker 1: the of the feature comedies are just they're not out there,

419
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,720
Speaker 1: which is just too bad. Hopefully that'll come around.

420
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Speaker 2: I agree, there's nothing wrong with a great rom com.

421
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 2: We all love them, even if we're embarrassed to admit it.

422
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:36,920
Speaker 2: We all love a great rom com.

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Speaker 1: I think so. I think so.

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Speaker 2: It's such a great antidote everything else that's going on.

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00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:47,119
Speaker 1: Yeah it is. Well, are you going to quit the

426
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,720
Speaker 1: news and maybe do maybe a cooking show?

427
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:51,639
Speaker 3: See?

428
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:53,439
Speaker 1: Now, have you thought of it?

429
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 2: I would love to quit the news.

430
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:58,119
Speaker 1: What a time to be doing what you're doing, and

431
00:23:58,160 --> 00:23:59,879
Speaker 1: you do it so great.

432
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:04,719
Speaker 2: It's really hard, and as we'll discuss, it's not been

433
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 2: great for my mental health. Okay, okay, but we'll get

434
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:23,240
Speaker 2: to that. We'll get to that. Are you big into music?

435
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:24,320
Speaker 3: You like music?

436
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:25,040
Speaker 1: I am?

437
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:26,280
Speaker 3: Yeah.

438
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:28,439
Speaker 1: You know. My thing is, you know, I love the

439
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:31,439
Speaker 1: old stuff. I love some of the new stuff. But

440
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:34,399
Speaker 1: you know, I was raised on R and B, and

441
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:38,720
Speaker 1: my dad turned me onto soul music and motown. And

442
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:42,960
Speaker 1: he was a big white guy from the Bronx and

443
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:45,960
Speaker 1: he just had a great, great taste in music and

444
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,399
Speaker 1: he so, so I kind of like that genre. But

445
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:52,720
Speaker 1: you know, I went to see Pearl Jam a few

446
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,200
Speaker 1: months ago, and I you know, I love Dave Matthews,

447
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:58,639
Speaker 1: and and I wish Neil Diamond would come back, and

448
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:02,359
Speaker 1: and you know, it's I'm all over the place I was.

449
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:04,200
Speaker 1: You know, I love Tony Bennett.

450
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 2: Are you a fan of Elo?

451
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 1: You know it's interesting to say that.

452
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:11,359
Speaker 2: I think you know why I'm asking?

453
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:16,800
Speaker 1: Are they there? Oh? Okay, you know it's it's funny.

454
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:20,080
Speaker 1: I didn't it's it was. It was.

455
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,159
Speaker 2: You can say no, but our listeners should know you

456
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,959
Speaker 2: were on an album. You are on the back of

457
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,920
Speaker 2: an Elo album Discovery from nineteen seventy ninety three.

458
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 1: Isn't that crazy? I was?

459
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, how did that happen? How'd that come to be?

460
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,879
Speaker 1: I'll tell you how it came to be. It was

461
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 1: nineteen seventy eight and I was doing stand up for

462
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:44,840
Speaker 1: twenty minutes. This is how different the time. And I

463
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:48,800
Speaker 1: needed an agent, and like a wacko, I walked up

464
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:53,600
Speaker 1: and down Sunset with my composite eight by ten. One.

465
00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:57,520
Speaker 1: I'm holding a briefcase because everyone, you know, wants to

466
00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:05,240
Speaker 1: cast a giant Jewish accountant. One. I'm hitch hiking, Oh yeah,

467
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 1: oh yeah, hitch hiking on the road with my shirt

468
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:12,520
Speaker 1: open and my book hanging out like I'm like, I'm

469
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:16,440
Speaker 1: about to break my water. I will send it to you,

470
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:19,200
Speaker 1: you know. And I'm walking up and down and I'm

471
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:23,800
Speaker 1: literally going into agencies. There were no security, there were

472
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:27,200
Speaker 1: no double locked doors. And I walked into the Beverly

473
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 1: Hecked agency on sunset and I would do stick, you know.

474
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:35,960
Speaker 1: I would go up to receptionists and I would go,

475
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:39,920
Speaker 1: what if Cosby was a pilot and she she would

476
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,960
Speaker 1: press the red button under the desk and the police

477
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:46,320
Speaker 1: would come. But literally I would walk in. You know.

478
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:49,680
Speaker 1: It's just I was out. I wanted it so bad.

479
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 1: So I'm in a Beverly h Heck was in those days,

480
00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:56,119
Speaker 1: in the early eighties, late seventies. She was kind of

481
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:59,199
Speaker 1: in the middle. She had a little boutique agency. And

482
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:03,399
Speaker 1: I walk in and I'm doing you know, I have

483
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:06,880
Speaker 1: a voice like fog horn, leghorn, you know, so everywhere,

484
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,440
Speaker 1: so I hear someone yell from a closed door.

485
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,680
Speaker 3: Who the hell is so freaking loud out there?

486
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 1: And that was Betterly And the receptionist his name was

487
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 1: Doug Warner, and he became a manager, and he was

488
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 1: twenty one at the time, and he said, I'm working

489
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 1: on it. I'm getting him out. And I opened the

490
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 1: door like a Waco and she's with the graphic artists

491
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:31,520
Speaker 1: and the label from the Elo new album and they're

492
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 1: at that table and they were looking. In those days,

493
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:39,200
Speaker 1: you couldn't say get me a giant Arab. You couldn't

494
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 1: or Abdul as your friend calls him. So I opened

495
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,920
Speaker 1: the door and they go, who's that? And I went

496
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:53,600
Speaker 1: to Cosby as a pilot. I'm really beating that to death.

497
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, and they said, hey, you know, and

498
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:02,159
Speaker 1: of course I I was very far from a model,

499
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,680
Speaker 1: but as you could see, the shot is really back

500
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,879
Speaker 1: and they put me into turban like, you know, have

501
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:11,440
Speaker 1: you ever held the machete? And I was like, of course,

502
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:15,120
Speaker 1: you know. I mean I was a latch key kid

503
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:19,639
Speaker 1: in you know, in the suburbs, and believe it or not,

504
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 1: that is a crazy story and that's that's how it happened.

505
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:26,639
Speaker 1: And I was on the back of it and there

506
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:30,919
Speaker 1: was a huge poster on on Sunset and uh, you know,

507
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:34,359
Speaker 1: I was a giant Arab, you know, holding you know,

508
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,520
Speaker 1: next to a lamp with a genie coming out.

509
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:38,520
Speaker 2: Oh, I know it. Yeah, I love Elo. I'm getting

510
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 2: the sense you're not an Eelo fan, not not really

511
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 2: I nor.

512
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 1: Did the photo shoot help me with the ladies? It is,

513
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 1: you know, more and more lonely years and a lot

514
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:49,000
Speaker 1: of banking.

515
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:54,920
Speaker 2: Well, I just love that little that little fact about

516
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 2: you in front of you. Okay, so you will never

517
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:02,320
Speaker 2: guess where I had my first job. I promise you'll

518
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 2: never guess Vose art gallery. No, yeah, so tell me

519
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 2: the story I.

520
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:19,800
Speaker 1: Should have gone in earlier. When were you there?

521
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 2: This would have been nineteen ninety seven. I was home

522
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:27,080
Speaker 2: from college and I wanted I was an art history

523
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:31,480
Speaker 2: major at Cornell. I wanted a summer job. I worked

524
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,320
Speaker 2: there sort of like cataloging.

525
00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:37,160
Speaker 1: I do believe this, I know.

526
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 2: I couldn't when I saw this. I couldn't believe it either,

527
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 2: because I don't know if you know this. That gallery

528
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:46,480
Speaker 2: is never visited, like it's always empty. We would get

529
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 2: maybe a visitor a day.

530
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 1: Ye you know.

531
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:54,480
Speaker 2: It's the Family Owed Gallery. It's the oldest art gallery

532
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,040
Speaker 2: in the country, but it's very small, precious. It's on

533
00:29:57,120 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 2: Newberry Street. It's beautiful, but it's it's not like heavily trafficked. Yeah,

534
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:04,400
Speaker 2: so how did you meet your wife there?

535
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 1: Oh? Gosh, it's I love art and I was I

536
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:12,520
Speaker 1: was on a layover from doing a comedy tour in

537
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 1: in Boston. And I was on my way to the tents,

538
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 1: you know, the melody tents right out like in Cohasset, Massachusetts,

539
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:23,280
Speaker 1: and and I was I was working with Joan Rivers

540
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 1: that week, one of my heroes. And I was walking

541
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 1: around and I really like art, and I'm not that

542
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:34,600
Speaker 1: much into American folk art. I like the ones, you know,

543
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:37,600
Speaker 1: the big woman eating fruit. That's kind of I think,

544
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 1: whatever whatever category that would be. And so I walked in,

545
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:46,720
Speaker 1: and you know, she's quite a bit younger, and I said,

546
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:52,920
Speaker 1: is your daddy here? And uh? And I started walking in,

547
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 1: you know, doing my ridiculous stick.

548
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 2: So she works there, she was.

549
00:30:57,240 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 1: She was working there, she was, yes, I'm sorry, okay,

550
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 1: the facts. And she was working there, and you know,

551
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 1: I was hacking it up. You know. There was like

552
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:10,440
Speaker 1: an original a picture, a painting, a portrait of George Washington,

553
00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 1: you know, and I like, I love Barbara Bush, really hacky,

554
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:17,720
Speaker 1: hacky ship, you know, stuff for she.

555
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 2: And did she know who you were?

556
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:25,480
Speaker 3: Oh no, she did not.

557
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:27,240
Speaker 1: She thought I was Kramer.

558
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 2: Stop it, are you serious?

559
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:29,880
Speaker 3: Do you know?

560
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:33,080
Speaker 2: I want to show you this right now? No, have

561
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 2: you ever been mistaken for Michael Richards.

562
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 1: Yesterday? Yes?

563
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:41,560
Speaker 2: Okay, con continue, continue this.

564
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:46,120
Speaker 1: This is amazing and uh so uh that So I

565
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:48,160
Speaker 1: played it. I played it like I was because it

566
00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:51,920
Speaker 1: was a much bigger show. I'm not gonna lie. I'm

567
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:57,240
Speaker 1: so I'm so lonely, see so lonely, you know, Yes,

568
00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 1: you know, I went.

569
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,400
Speaker 2: I went right into it the door.

570
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:07,320
Speaker 1: And so, you know, we talked a little bit, and

571
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:13,280
Speaker 1: you know, it all felt and sounded cliche because you know,

572
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:16,600
Speaker 1: I'm the older guy and she's young and lovely and

573
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 1: there's a brain. And I was like, I have no shot,

574
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:24,040
Speaker 1: and she went, you're absolutely right, you know. So I left.

575
00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:26,680
Speaker 1: I took a brochure and I said, maybe I'll buy

576
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:30,360
Speaker 1: the milk can next to the lavender. And I went

577
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,960
Speaker 1: up the street. And I was going through a little

578
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 1: bit of a of a head case at the time

579
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:41,560
Speaker 1: in my life with relationships and you know, just got

580
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:46,120
Speaker 1: out of a divorce and really struggling emotionally. You know,

581
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 1: never wanted to repeat how I grew up and and

582
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:52,240
Speaker 1: I you know, I fell into it. That's okay. So

583
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:54,520
Speaker 1: I was going. So I went up the street and

584
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:59,160
Speaker 1: I bought this other big portrait that is really when

585
00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:02,480
Speaker 1: I look at it now, it's really oddly depressing. It's

586
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:07,520
Speaker 1: a woman lying in bed, not naked but covered and

587
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:11,719
Speaker 1: her she's it's not a great position where you know

588
00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:17,560
Speaker 1: she's either blissfully aware or she's odeed.

589
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:19,480
Speaker 2: Okay, I can't.

590
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 1: Because the eyes, you know, one eye is a little

591
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:27,160
Speaker 1: it's a little sammy, you know, it's a little like that.

592
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 1: And she's holding a communion wafer.

593
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:31,160
Speaker 2: Oh.

594
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 3: Interesting.

595
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 1: Then there's a glass of wine next to her. So

596
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:38,760
Speaker 1: it's all the things that put my issue with women,

597
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:44,280
Speaker 1: how I don't believe, I don't like religion, and how

598
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 1: I've stopped drinking. It was all in one picture. So

599
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 1: instead of buying you know, the Confederate flag with a

600
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 1: guy with no teeth holding it at vose, I buy

601
00:33:56,400 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 1: the uh, you know, my demise, and and it hung

602
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 1: in the in the club forever, and you know people

603
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,440
Speaker 1: would go, God, what, that's such a donner, and he's like,

604
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 1: he bought that the day we met. Yeah, yeah, that's

605
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 1: what I got to put in a time out and

606
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:15,960
Speaker 1: back in the ball pit. But we met, and you know,

607
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,399
Speaker 1: we were both kind of you know, in a relationship

608
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:22,560
Speaker 1: at the time, and you know, we we just kind

609
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:27,239
Speaker 1: of we we were texting. It wasn't right, but it

610
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:31,239
Speaker 1: had to be. And here we are, almost sixteen and

611
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 1: a half years later.

612
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:33,360
Speaker 3: Believe or not.

613
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:39,120
Speaker 1: She just got her driver's license. But she's forty, you know,

614
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:43,080
Speaker 1: but I'm sixty four. So it's you know, it's but

615
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:45,960
Speaker 1: it works. I mean, it's what I you know, I

616
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:48,280
Speaker 1: had ten minutes of material about it in the beginning,

617
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:52,399
Speaker 1: which was my way of dealing with my uncomfortableness about it.

618
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:56,839
Speaker 1: But she's got an incredible sense of humor, and I've

619
00:34:56,920 --> 00:35:03,839
Speaker 1: never felt more comfortable in my life. You know, if

620
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:06,520
Speaker 1: it was ten years earlier, she would have put up

621
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 1: with my shit for five minutes. And there was still

622
00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:14,239
Speaker 1: stuff that she helped me get through and deal with,

623
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 1: not by holding up a mirror, but by you know,

624
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 1: holding my hand through some of it.

625
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:21,919
Speaker 2: Yeah.

626
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:24,280
Speaker 1: I went through a lot of loss when I started

627
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:26,840
Speaker 1: dating her. I lost my brother, my best friend, and

628
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:32,440
Speaker 1: my father within like a two year period, just out

629
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:34,680
Speaker 1: of the blue. And then I lost my other brother,

630
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:40,520
Speaker 1: and then my best friend's wife passed ironically, And I

631
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:44,719
Speaker 1: have seven incredible god children in my life that live

632
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:47,279
Speaker 1: in Vegas and helped me at the club and work

633
00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:49,600
Speaker 1: at the club. So it's been a full circle. But

634
00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:52,759
Speaker 1: it was just a real ship storm, you know when

635
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:55,720
Speaker 1: I had met her, and it was one that wasn't

636
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 1: created by my doing like it was in the past.

637
00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:01,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, that I was just like, wow.

638
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,960
Speaker 1: You know, this is tough stuff to get through. Luckily,

639
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:08,399
Speaker 1: I'm not using because so many people need me and

640
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 1: I need me, and you know we're very different and

641
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 1: scary similar as well.

642
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I got very lucky.

643
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:22,480
Speaker 1: It's definitely, you know, I'm way way out of my league.

644
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 1: And I told her, I say, I tell her all

645
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:28,520
Speaker 1: the time, and this is comforting. I say, when I

646
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:31,879
Speaker 1: pass on and I go to the big casino in the.

647
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,040
Speaker 3: Sky, because that's how I think is up there.

648
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:36,480
Speaker 1: I always say, you'll have your whole life ahead of you,

649
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 1: which is great. You'll be able to, you know, find

650
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:44,440
Speaker 1: some when you really want, and you'll have a little money.

651
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:49,360
Speaker 2: So I've also interviewed for this podcast Kelly Rizzo Okay.

652
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:54,360
Speaker 2: She was she is the widow of Bob Saggatt okay,

653
00:36:54,719 --> 00:37:01,000
Speaker 2: and they were several decades apart. Yeah, and it was

654
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,560
Speaker 2: something apparently he talked to her a lot about like

655
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 2: I'm gonna you know, you're going to be single at

656
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:08,920
Speaker 2: some point, Yeah, because I'm so much older.

657
00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:09,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want you.

658
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 2: To prepare for that. She didn't realize she'd have to

659
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:15,400
Speaker 2: prepare for that, like's years into her marriage.

660
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:19,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, such a wonderful guy. Yeah, And I talk about

661
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:21,920
Speaker 1: it a little too much, and I think it's a

662
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:25,319
Speaker 1: downer for her. You know, I said, I'm not going

663
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 1: to be here forever, and then she leaves the room.

664
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:32,480
Speaker 1: I check out where she is on my phone. She's

665
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:36,879
Speaker 1: at party City. So I think a lot. I think

666
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:39,320
Speaker 1: a lot of it is really is really perception.

667
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 2: She's planning.

668
00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:42,920
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, but it's like, you know, it's like I

669
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:45,359
Speaker 1: want to talk about it. You know, it's weird. It's

670
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,840
Speaker 1: like when you find someone that you love so much

671
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,960
Speaker 1: that you've never been that that you know, having that.

672
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:55,719
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is, and I don't want

673
00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:58,319
Speaker 1: to overanalyze it, but it's like you always you know,

674
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:02,799
Speaker 1: it's like your children, you want them, Okay, that's all. Yeah,

675
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:04,400
Speaker 1: that's all you care about.

676
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:07,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, And you know, I talked.

677
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:09,760
Speaker 1: About it a lot, you know, before we got married.

678
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:12,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, you have to understand, you know,

679
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:15,920
Speaker 1: you're going to have to reintroduce yourself to me every

680
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:21,200
Speaker 1: week eventually, you know, because it's it's not pretty, you know,

681
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:24,720
Speaker 1: it is it and I'm you know, and I'm.

682
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:26,239
Speaker 2: Well, I love the story of how you met. I

683
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:26,560
Speaker 2: love it.

684
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:28,720
Speaker 1: She will not believe this about VOS.

685
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:32,160
Speaker 2: I couldn't believe it. I've never met anyone who even

686
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 2: knows that place.

687
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:36,520
Speaker 1: That's so amazing. It makes it even more special. Were

688
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:39,319
Speaker 1: you fired for stealing or what?

689
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:39,840
Speaker 3: No?

690
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:41,480
Speaker 2: No, I went back to school. I grew up in

691
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:44,799
Speaker 2: andover Massachusetts. I grew up dancing at Boston Bala, so

692
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:47,719
Speaker 2: I was in the city all the time, and I

693
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:50,239
Speaker 2: thought that's where I'll just get my summer job. And

694
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:53,400
Speaker 2: then I went back and I was just back at VOS.

695
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:56,480
Speaker 2: I had a birthday in February, and I brought my

696
00:38:56,600 --> 00:39:01,160
Speaker 2: husband and my two best friends my son Gunkles to

697
00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:04,440
Speaker 2: Vose just to show them, like, really these were.

698
00:39:04,239 --> 00:39:06,880
Speaker 1: It's a cool little street and a cool little building.

699
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:08,080
Speaker 3: It is.

700
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 2: I love that story.

701
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:24,359
Speaker 1: How were you?

702
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:28,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's get into it. Let's get into mental health.

703
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 2: I'm better. I had a break down, a nervous breakdown

704
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:37,319
Speaker 2: in twenty twenty one, and did not know I had

705
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:42,680
Speaker 2: been living with severe anxiety, okay, for about twenty years,

706
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:47,759
Speaker 2: compounded by the news, compounded by my job and politics.

707
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:51,279
Speaker 2: But really, I mean I had always been very anxious,

708
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:54,840
Speaker 2: and then when I had my son, it went to

709
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:57,839
Speaker 2: eleven and I didn't know that I was doing this,

710
00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:03,120
Speaker 2: but I was catastrophizing on a loop all day long

711
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:06,160
Speaker 2: about the worst thing that's going to happen. It's going

712
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:09,000
Speaker 2: to happen, and I would vividly see it in my head,

713
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,840
Speaker 2: and it would always involve my son, something awful happening

714
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 2: to my son. And it got to the point where

715
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:17,680
Speaker 2: I felt like, if I do it, that will prevent it.

716
00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:21,200
Speaker 2: If I don't do this ritual, it's going to happen.

717
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:26,160
Speaker 2: So my anxiety was keeping me safe, I thought, but

718
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:28,680
Speaker 2: obviously it wasn't and it wasn't rational, and it was

719
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:33,520
Speaker 2: actually really really unhealthy. So when I had this breakdown,

720
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 2: it was like my body said, stop doing this to me,

721
00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:40,800
Speaker 2: stop doing this to us. And then I got therapy

722
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 2: and I went on medication, and so I've only been

723
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 2: learning about what I was doing for about four years,

724
00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 2: and I am better, but I still struggle. I'm always

725
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:57,279
Speaker 2: going to struggle with anxiety. And sometimes when I think

726
00:40:57,360 --> 00:41:00,880
Speaker 2: I'm great, it'll come back and be like, Hi, you

727
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:05,000
Speaker 2: haven't beaten me. You can't beat me. So it's hard.

728
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 2: It's hard, and the news doesn't help. Yeah, yeah, because

729
00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 2: this is the other thing someone would tell me, you know,

730
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 2: the odds of like something awful happening in this way

731
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,360
Speaker 2: are really low, and I'd say, really, I just covered

732
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 2: four of them, like sure, you know, so I had

733
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:28,440
Speaker 2: this other effect of thinking there were only bad things

734
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 2: because that's all I.

735
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:33,279
Speaker 1: Cover, Yeah, exactly, which is.

736
00:41:33,239 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 2: So messed up. And you know, obviously had had a

737
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,880
Speaker 2: big effect on my brain, and my brain feels a

738
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:42,399
Speaker 2: little broken now. But this is why I talk about

739
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:45,560
Speaker 2: it because I wish, I wish I knew what I

740
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:48,640
Speaker 2: had been doing, and I wish someone had given it

741
00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:55,040
Speaker 2: language that would have alerted me to get help earlier,

742
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,799
Speaker 2: because twenty years in it's really hard to unlearn some

743
00:41:57,880 --> 00:41:58,600
Speaker 2: of these habits.

744
00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:03,759
Speaker 1: Now, did you you know I never heard that turn catastrophizing. Yeah,

745
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:07,280
Speaker 1: so God, that like rang a bell for me, because

746
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:12,759
Speaker 1: I've done a ton of that, and my anxiety, you know,

747
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:16,719
Speaker 1: quadrupled when I became a father, and that's all I

748
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:21,720
Speaker 1: really ever wanted, And boy, I could, I mean it's.

749
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:24,239
Speaker 2: Just I can you know you know what I'm talking

750
00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:25,000
Speaker 2: about you for?

751
00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 1: Did you have a lot of that? You must have

752
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,440
Speaker 1: had it as a kid, right, I did. Were you

753
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:31,240
Speaker 1: with the ballet?

754
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:35,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was at Boston Ballet. Ballet was tough because

755
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 2: it wasn't like the fun dancing where you wear the

756
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:40,279
Speaker 2: costumes and like. It was really really tough. But I

757
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:43,319
Speaker 2: also moved a lot, and I was constantly waiting for

758
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:46,919
Speaker 2: a change. What's going to happen to disrupt the stability

759
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 2: of my life in the moment? Yea, my parents have

760
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:53,840
Speaker 2: gotten divorced remarried. I moved like eight or nine times

761
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:57,920
Speaker 2: as a kid, so I was always the new kid, introducing, auditioning,

762
00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:00,440
Speaker 2: becoming whoever they needed me to be. But I was

763
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:05,400
Speaker 2: also on tenderhooks all the time. What's coming next?

764
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:07,839
Speaker 1: Oh my honey? Wow?

765
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:08,400
Speaker 2: Yeah.

766
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:09,560
Speaker 1: So, but.

767
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:14,960
Speaker 2: I thought all of this was normal, Like imagining some

768
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:20,080
Speaker 2: driving my car, right, and I'm driving next to train

769
00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:22,480
Speaker 2: tracks and I'm thinking, Okay, if a train comes and

770
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:26,640
Speaker 2: derails and comes into the road, what would I do?

771
00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:30,319
Speaker 2: These are absurd things to think about. But if my

772
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:34,360
Speaker 2: brain isn't doing that, I would think I'm gonna be

773
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:38,480
Speaker 2: surprised by something awful, and at least I can avoid

774
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:39,759
Speaker 2: the surprise part of it.

775
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:41,520
Speaker 1: So you can't win.

776
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 2: You can win where exactly constant. It was constant at

777
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:52,400
Speaker 2: its worst, it was twenty four seven. I'd go to

778
00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 2: bed doing it and wake up doing it, and then

779
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:58,359
Speaker 2: I would do these rituals, like where I'd have to

780
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:00,839
Speaker 2: to be able to send my kid to school, which

781
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 2: is down the street he walks. Yeah, I'd have to

782
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:05,640
Speaker 2: look him in the eyes. I'd have to make sure

783
00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:07,600
Speaker 2: we had eye contact. I'd have to say I love

784
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 2: you to him. He'd have to look right, like good

785
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:13,479
Speaker 2: enough for me to feel okay. If something was off,

786
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:14,480
Speaker 2: I'd have to do it again.

787
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:15,600
Speaker 1: Okay.

788
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:19,680
Speaker 2: So there's some like compulsions that were created out of

789
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:20,840
Speaker 2: this anxiety as well.

790
00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:25,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, a little bit, a little bit. Yeah, yeah, boy,

791
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:28,719
Speaker 1: that's tough. Does any of that stem from not ever

792
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:32,480
Speaker 1: feeling good enough or the anxiety that you were You know,

793
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:36,520
Speaker 1: sometimes the dysfunction we're raised with is our comfort zone.

794
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 2: Yes, and that's all we know. And my therapist, I

795
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:42,640
Speaker 2: have great parents, but my therapist is like, just because

796
00:44:42,719 --> 00:44:45,880
Speaker 2: we're talking about some of the traumas of your childhood

797
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:47,879
Speaker 2: doesn't make them bad parents, like because that was hard

798
00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:50,960
Speaker 2: for me exactly. I didn't want to think of them

799
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:53,560
Speaker 2: that way. But listen, they weren't perfect and I went

800
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:56,759
Speaker 2: through some stuff. Yeah, of course, and it's important to

801
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:58,839
Speaker 2: look back at that. That's why therapy is so great

802
00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:01,239
Speaker 2: because I never would have told told you that I

803
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:05,919
Speaker 2: was doing anything based on my childhood. And of course

804
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:06,279
Speaker 2: I am.

805
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:08,960
Speaker 1: We all are, well, well, we all are. But you know,

806
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,759
Speaker 1: it's always that thing. Is that nature or nurture? You know?

807
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:16,080
Speaker 1: How much is chemical? How much of it is my wiring? Yes,

808
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:20,880
Speaker 1: and it's I think sometimes it's both or one is

809
00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:23,960
Speaker 1: greater than the other. I mean, you know, I had

810
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:31,480
Speaker 1: a lot of love from parents that despised themselves.

811
00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:32,520
Speaker 2: Yeah.

812
00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:37,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, so what kind of love is it? You know?

813
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's.

814
00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:42,560
Speaker 1: Far greater than a lot of people, I know, you know,

815
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:45,080
Speaker 1: and not near the trauma that you hear about her

816
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:48,560
Speaker 1: or anything like that. But it's different when you're taught

817
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:53,600
Speaker 1: how to love by people that don't love themselves, because

818
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:58,200
Speaker 1: it's very superficial. It's given, you know, in ways that

819
00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:03,600
Speaker 1: may not be the healthiest because they're not in that spot,

820
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:07,680
Speaker 1: you know. But once I became a parent, and you

821
00:46:07,719 --> 00:46:11,120
Speaker 1: know I was a helicopter parent trying to make up

822
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:15,560
Speaker 1: for all the stuff that I felt, you know, wasn't

823
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:20,440
Speaker 1: done correctly. And I you know a lot of my

824
00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:25,080
Speaker 1: parenting was grounded in fear, you know, and I so

825
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 1: relate to that.

826
00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:30,480
Speaker 2: And so what do you do? What do you do

827
00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:32,280
Speaker 2: about about your anxiety?

828
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:37,640
Speaker 1: Well, you know a lot of my anxiety is depression fueled.

829
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:38,239
Speaker 3: OK.

830
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:41,880
Speaker 1: So I'm on meds for depression that I've been on

831
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:45,279
Speaker 1: for a long long time that have helped immensely. That

832
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:48,520
Speaker 1: I didn't get on until after I had stopped using,

833
00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:51,919
Speaker 1: which is twenty seven years. And it wouldn't have worked

834
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:55,040
Speaker 1: anyway if I was using and on the meds that

835
00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 1: doesn't work even though people think it does, it doesn't

836
00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:03,520
Speaker 1: as well as it could. And I know it sounds corny,

837
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:07,520
Speaker 1: but I had to get to a place of trust

838
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:12,240
Speaker 1: within our little village. You know. It's like I can't

839
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:15,400
Speaker 1: explain the world to my kids. I know you can't.

840
00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:19,439
Speaker 1: There's no explanation. It's so out of control. But I

841
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:25,040
Speaker 1: know my anxiety will just hinder them from dealing with

842
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:28,839
Speaker 1: it better than I am, right, and I'm honest about it,

843
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:32,040
Speaker 1: and I'm really out about my emotions, you know, and

844
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:35,840
Speaker 1: I was my whole time with my kids. I think

845
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:39,240
Speaker 1: the honesty of when I was struggling or I wish

846
00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:42,279
Speaker 1: I could do better, or it's important they see a

847
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:47,359
Speaker 1: parent fail. Yes, they see a parent have to start over.

848
00:47:47,520 --> 00:47:51,160
Speaker 1: It's like what I always say. I always wish that

849
00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:54,760
Speaker 1: my kids could have seen me in the days where

850
00:47:54,840 --> 00:48:00,560
Speaker 1: I struggled artistically or career wise, wherever I saw, you know,

851
00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:05,480
Speaker 1: I was I. You know, I didn't always have this house.

852
00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:10,640
Speaker 1: I didn't know things. I started out in apartments much

853
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:14,120
Speaker 1: smaller than yours. And I wish they could have seen that,

854
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:17,360
Speaker 1: just to get a better idea of what life is

855
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:25,000
Speaker 1: really about. So you know, anxiety runs through this family. Yeah,

856
00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:28,799
Speaker 1: a lot of it is I really believe wiring and

857
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:35,360
Speaker 1: chemical and hereditary and uh you know they were raised

858
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 1: by two parents that that both had anxiety too. There

859
00:48:39,719 --> 00:48:43,080
Speaker 1: was a little cleanup I think where that's where that's concerned.

860
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:47,160
Speaker 1: And and I try to you know, try to be

861
00:48:47,520 --> 00:48:50,000
Speaker 1: you know better at it's it's it's funny how a

862
00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:53,320
Speaker 1: lease in my case and I can tell in your case,

863
00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:57,080
Speaker 1: how children and when you love being that parent and

864
00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:59,840
Speaker 1: not everyone's wired for it, you know, I have buddies

865
00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:01,880
Speaker 1: that I talked to them about parenting. They look at

866
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:04,799
Speaker 1: me like, you know, I'm from another planet, because not

867
00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:08,880
Speaker 1: everyone's wired that way. Yeah, this is really what you want.

868
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:13,920
Speaker 1: But look how it's made us really deal with our

869
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:17,239
Speaker 1: own crap that we've had for so long because we

870
00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:19,560
Speaker 1: don't want to pass it on because they.

871
00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:22,800
Speaker 3: Don't totally, you know, and it's it's still a stroke totally.

872
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:25,320
Speaker 2: It's why I'm doing the work.

873
00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:26,880
Speaker 1: So clud of that you can do this because you know,

874
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:30,239
Speaker 1: you're so admired, you're so looked up to. You're such

875
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:32,960
Speaker 1: a force in journalism, and a lot of it is

876
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:36,400
Speaker 1: what you bring to it. I love that you that

877
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:40,560
Speaker 1: you you're really your own voice in what you have

878
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:42,320
Speaker 1: to say, and there are things you have been said

879
00:49:42,600 --> 00:49:45,759
Speaker 1: that you have said, what I've watched you. That's that's

880
00:49:45,800 --> 00:49:48,239
Speaker 1: made me go wow, okay, yeah, and you know I

881
00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:51,160
Speaker 1: didn't look at that before, and I really just in

882
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:51,839
Speaker 1: what you do.

883
00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:53,239
Speaker 3: So thank you.

884
00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:55,640
Speaker 1: Just you know, I admire that and we need people

885
00:49:55,680 --> 00:49:58,839
Speaker 1: like you talking about stuff like this. Thank you because

886
00:49:58,880 --> 00:49:59,920
Speaker 1: we always feel alone.

887
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:04,120
Speaker 2: I know, and I did too, because I'd always looked

888
00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:07,440
Speaker 2: at my colleagues at the news and thought how are

889
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:10,200
Speaker 2: they doing that? How are they so healthy? And I

890
00:50:10,239 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 2: thought maybe they're not. They're I don't know what they're right.

891
00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:16,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm going to tell you who's really sick

892
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:21,160
Speaker 1: over coming? No, no, but I mean, I mean yeah, yeah, yeah.

893
00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:24,759
Speaker 1: But that's what anxiety and depression does. It wants us

894
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:25,799
Speaker 1: to fill alone. Yeah.

895
00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:27,040
Speaker 2: It's a liar and it lies to you.

896
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:31,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like I would beg my parents. Let's try help,

897
00:50:32,520 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 1: Let's try this. If you don't like it, you don't

898
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:38,160
Speaker 1: have to do it. But when the depression and the

899
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:43,120
Speaker 1: bipolarity and the shame and the guilt, the more infesters,

900
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:48,640
Speaker 1: it makes your decisions for you. You have no voice,

901
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:52,720
Speaker 1: and depression is like sleep another forty hours, you'll be fine.

902
00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:55,439
Speaker 1: You now pick up that drink or that thing.

903
00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:56,240
Speaker 3: What's the big?

904
00:50:56,480 --> 00:50:59,000
Speaker 1: What is there to be clear about? You don't need clarity,

905
00:50:59,280 --> 00:51:02,920
Speaker 1: so it's right. The longer you wait, the more it

906
00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:06,279
Speaker 1: just becomes your being, you know, it's that alien thing.

907
00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:10,120
Speaker 2: Totally. Well, I'm really I'm glad we had this talk

908
00:51:10,200 --> 00:51:14,719
Speaker 2: and me too. Yeah, I really did really enjoyed this.

909
00:51:14,840 --> 00:51:18,880
Speaker 2: I have a quick lightning round to end on a

910
00:51:19,239 --> 00:51:19,880
Speaker 2: lighter note.

911
00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:21,560
Speaker 1: Okay, it's not math is it.

912
00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:22,399
Speaker 2: There's no math.

913
00:51:22,719 --> 00:51:23,879
Speaker 3: Okay, there's no math.

914
00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:34,280
Speaker 1: Who are people at the Bible? Okay? I should probably

915
00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:35,080
Speaker 1: wait for the question.

916
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:38,319
Speaker 2: Well, first was have you ever been compared to or

917
00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:41,239
Speaker 2: mistaken for Michael Richards? And you answered that yes?

918
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:43,239
Speaker 1: Yes.

919
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:47,160
Speaker 2: The second is Matt Rife or Nate BARGHETSI.

920
00:51:47,719 --> 00:51:50,200
Speaker 1: Boy, this is tough because I hate to ever that

921
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:52,600
Speaker 1: I'm not that familiar with Matt.

922
00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:57,560
Speaker 2: Okay, he's not for you, he's for like young women.

923
00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:04,359
Speaker 1: Oh you don't mean to like live with I thought

924
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:08,799
Speaker 1: we were. Boy, this is tough. I have to say

925
00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:11,040
Speaker 1: I'm not that familiar with with Matt, though I know

926
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:12,879
Speaker 1: the kid's on fire, and I know.

927
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:14,120
Speaker 2: He's he does crowd work.

928
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:15,080
Speaker 3: That's his things, A.

929
00:52:14,960 --> 00:52:18,960
Speaker 1: Lot of crowd work. Yeah, more sit ups than me

930
00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:20,080
Speaker 1: for sure.

931
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:20,520
Speaker 3: Ye.

932
00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:25,960
Speaker 1: Cute, but uh, you know, I mean I don't know

933
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:29,480
Speaker 1: Nate's You know, Nate's a very very special talent.

934
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:33,160
Speaker 2: He is, right, I really like his his stuff.

935
00:52:33,680 --> 00:52:36,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's just is he nice?

936
00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:39,920
Speaker 1: I've only met him once? Okay, And the only thing

937
00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:42,720
Speaker 1: he said, ish could you please pull my car around?

938
00:52:43,880 --> 00:52:47,839
Speaker 1: I was I wasn't dressed great. I only met him once,

939
00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:51,480
Speaker 1: super kind, super nice and everyone seems to like you.

940
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:54,000
Speaker 1: I'm happy and I'm happy for Matt and these. You know,

941
00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:55,279
Speaker 1: I know how tough it is.

942
00:52:55,600 --> 00:52:56,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you know.

943
00:52:56,719 --> 00:53:00,560
Speaker 1: So anyone that's doing it, I uh, you know, kudos.

944
00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:04,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, Albert Brooks or Billy Crystal.

945
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:06,160
Speaker 1: Oh boy, that's brutal.

946
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:07,880
Speaker 2: I know, I know it is.

947
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:10,879
Speaker 1: I love the boy. These are tough. Quick go back

948
00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:17,440
Speaker 1: to rife. Boy, Well, I would say, Billy God, I

949
00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:19,520
Speaker 1: don't know. They both had such an influence on me.

950
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:22,000
Speaker 1: You know, these are guys that coming up I would

951
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:24,200
Speaker 1: see and I you know, I'd want to put my

952
00:53:24,239 --> 00:53:24,919
Speaker 1: head in the oven.

953
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:27,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, because they're just like, well.

954
00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:30,760
Speaker 1: Why am I doing this? Boy? Can I say a tie?

955
00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:34,120
Speaker 2: You can't. It's intentionally hard. I love them both too.

956
00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:37,919
Speaker 2: I'm a big Albert Brooks fan, but but Billy too.

957
00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:42,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, no question. His documentary of Brooks wasn't that great?

958
00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:47,879
Speaker 2: Defending My Life? Oh my god? Oh so good? Yeah,

959
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:52,399
Speaker 2: and so rich with little details and the rhiners and.

960
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:54,520
Speaker 3: Oh my god, so good, so amazing.

961
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:57,520
Speaker 2: Everyone should go, that's a tie for me, I get it.

962
00:53:59,040 --> 00:54:01,600
Speaker 2: Roast or stand up special.

963
00:54:03,880 --> 00:54:07,960
Speaker 1: Boy, You're you're really hitting my insecurity. I love that,

964
00:54:08,280 --> 00:54:16,279
Speaker 1: uh for me or for other things for you for you, well,

965
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:19,640
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think I should do either. No,

966
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:23,680
Speaker 1: nor should I be involved in either. You're a yeah,

967
00:54:23,719 --> 00:54:25,960
Speaker 1: I know, you know my you know, my thing was

968
00:54:26,040 --> 00:54:28,480
Speaker 1: just to have a talk show and just sit down

969
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:32,279
Speaker 1: with people and kidd its and into it and just

970
00:54:32,440 --> 00:54:35,239
Speaker 1: you know, like like like a hundred years ago, I

971
00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:39,120
Speaker 1: stood in for Rick Dy's I don't know that that

972
00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:42,000
Speaker 1: had a little in the nineties, a little talk show

973
00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:44,520
Speaker 1: and uh and it took a week off and I

974
00:54:44,960 --> 00:54:47,279
Speaker 1: went in and I was you know, I pushed a lot,

975
00:54:47,360 --> 00:54:50,520
Speaker 1: and I was much too, you know, because I was

976
00:54:50,719 --> 00:54:54,760
Speaker 1: so desperate to land that that would have done it differently.

977
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:57,560
Speaker 1: But my thing is just to get out with real people.

978
00:54:57,600 --> 00:54:59,880
Speaker 1: And so I guess I guess the roast and then

979
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:02,520
Speaker 1: I was on one of the roasts. But I you know,

980
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:04,840
Speaker 1: I didn't love what I did and it wasn't that great.

981
00:55:05,480 --> 00:55:08,319
Speaker 1: But and a special you know, it's got to be

982
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:11,440
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's got to be really I think

983
00:55:11,520 --> 00:55:15,799
Speaker 1: material driven more than that. That's up my strength. You know.

984
00:55:16,120 --> 00:55:18,040
Speaker 1: If I could like walk into a house in the

985
00:55:18,080 --> 00:55:23,799
Speaker 1: Midwest unannounced and just at the like, like my thing

986
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:27,600
Speaker 1: was having dinner with America. Yeah, just sitting down with

987
00:55:27,719 --> 00:55:28,560
Speaker 1: regular people.

988
00:55:28,880 --> 00:55:31,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, and go and you know, letting that

989
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:32,799
Speaker 3: would show.

990
00:55:33,239 --> 00:55:35,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just wanted to do it. You know, here's

991
00:55:35,280 --> 00:55:39,200
Speaker 1: a here's a nine foot insecured you coming to your.

992
00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:40,520
Speaker 2: Home, what do you announced?

993
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:42,680
Speaker 1: What do you make? And you just knock on the

994
00:55:42,719 --> 00:55:47,359
Speaker 1: door and you know, you hope they don't hurt you show. Yeah,

995
00:55:47,480 --> 00:55:49,560
Speaker 1: I've always wanted to do something like Yeah, I just

996
00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:52,120
Speaker 1: thought it would be good just to just and I

997
00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:56,799
Speaker 1: mean literally put me, you know in the mix. That's

998
00:55:57,320 --> 00:56:00,480
Speaker 1: that's where I that's where I thrive. You know, I've

999
00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:03,640
Speaker 1: never been a Hollywood person. I've never been the yick guy.

1000
00:56:04,080 --> 00:56:06,799
Speaker 1: You know. I've always worked so so hard and loved

1001
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:09,880
Speaker 1: what I do, but always knew my territory and and

1002
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:12,919
Speaker 1: that to me, I mean, if I could just unscripted,

1003
00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:17,320
Speaker 1: you know, that's that's my round. You know, roast battles,

1004
00:56:17,360 --> 00:56:21,000
Speaker 1: all that stuff. That's that's all great, but it's not this.

1005
00:56:21,960 --> 00:56:24,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I think we need to make this

1006
00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:28,040
Speaker 2: show happen. Okay, Brad, Brad Garrett's coming for dinner?

1007
00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:29,880
Speaker 1: How about breaking Brad?

1008
00:56:30,280 --> 00:56:33,360
Speaker 2: Love? It even better? Even better with Brad?

1009
00:56:35,239 --> 00:56:39,440
Speaker 1: What's that smell? It could it could be like, boy,

1010
00:56:39,520 --> 00:56:45,000
Speaker 1: I smell you know, I smell meat loathing and sim

1011
00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:53,120
Speaker 1: you know, to be allan. You know, can I come in?

1012
00:56:53,880 --> 00:57:00,239
Speaker 2: You know, we need to make this show happen. Okay,

1013
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:03,800
Speaker 2: last question, This question is a very important to me culturally.

1014
00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:06,840
Speaker 2: When is iced coffee season?

1015
00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:09,480
Speaker 1: Iced coffee season?

1016
00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:10,200
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1017
00:57:10,480 --> 00:57:12,200
Speaker 1: Fucked twenty four seven for me?

1018
00:57:12,280 --> 00:57:15,000
Speaker 2: Yes, correct answer? Congratulations? Oh yeah, correct answer.

1019
00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:19,320
Speaker 1: Coffee is my last advice And you know, I just

1020
00:57:19,440 --> 00:57:21,440
Speaker 1: I just love it perfectly.

1021
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:27,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, anyway, I liked you. Brad Garrett's coming up in

1022
00:57:27,880 --> 00:57:32,040
Speaker 2: a new Pixar movie called Elio saying that right, Elliot.

1023
00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:33,080
Speaker 1: You said it exactly right.

1024
00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:36,320
Speaker 2: He's in the new Jason Rightman SNL film Saturday Night.

1025
00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:38,240
Speaker 2: I can't wait to see that. Thank you so much

1026
00:57:38,280 --> 00:57:40,520
Speaker 2: for coming on. This was really I loved this.

1027
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:42,360
Speaker 1: Thank you meant a lot to me.

1028
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:48,280
Speaker 2: Next week on Off the Cop, Kelly Rizzo, this guy

1029
00:57:48,920 --> 00:57:51,680
Speaker 2: messaged me and was like, hey, Bob Sagat's.

1030
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:54,280
Speaker 4: Gonna send you a DM and I was like, oh why.

1031
00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:57,680
Speaker 4: I was just not interested at first, like it was

1032
00:57:57,720 --> 00:58:00,280
Speaker 4: not my type, too old, but I was It's like,

1033
00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 4: that's just weird.

1034
00:58:03,680 --> 00:58:05,920
Speaker 2: Off the Cup is a production of iHeart podcasts as

1035
00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:09,000
Speaker 2: part of the Reasoned Choice Network. I'm your host, Si Cupp.

1036
00:58:09,400 --> 00:58:12,560
Speaker 2: Editing and sound designed by Derek Clements. Our executive producers

1037
00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:16,040
Speaker 2: are me Si Cupp, Lauren Hanson, and Lindsay Hoffman. If

1038
00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:18,560
Speaker 2: you like Off the Cup, please rate and review wherever

1039
00:58:18,600 --> 00:58:21,680
Speaker 2: you get your podcasts, follow, or subscribe for new episodes

1040
00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:28,440
Speaker 2: every Wednesday