Speaker 1: Hello, I invited you. Hear Gonta made myself perfectly clear.
Speaker 1: When you're a guest to my home, you gotta come
Speaker 1: to me empty. And I said, no, guest, your presence
Speaker 1: is presence enough.
Speaker 2: And I already had too much stuff, So how do
Speaker 2: you dare to surbey me?
Speaker 3: Hello, it's Bridger. I don't feel comfortable letting you listen
Speaker 3: to the rest of the episode yet, I know you
Speaker 3: just listened to the theme song. I don't care. I
Speaker 3: have a big announcement. I've got big news. The podcast
Speaker 3: is now on Patreon Patreon dot com slash I said,
Speaker 3: no gifts. What does this mean? Well, it means that
Speaker 3: the show here as you're listening, will continue as usual weekly,
Speaker 3: but if you subscribe on Patreon, you'll be getting two
Speaker 3: bonus extra exclusive episodes a month full length Delicious, a
Speaker 3: nice way to supplement your listening diet, and as well
Speaker 3: as you know, other little perks. I can't stand the
Speaker 3: word perks. I don't use it lightly, but that's essentially
Speaker 3: what you'll be getting along with these exclusive episodes, little
Speaker 3: things and fun you know, extras. You'll have to go
Speaker 3: to Patreon to actually see what those are. I'm not
Speaker 3: going to describe them here, but they are terrific, and
Speaker 3: there'll probably be other things. You really never know what
Speaker 3: I'm going to cook up next. There's really no telling
Speaker 3: what I'll do. This is a great way to support
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Speaker 3: way to do it. Well, this is one of the
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Speaker 3: and the new episodes that are just going to be terrific. Okay,
Speaker 3: now I'll let you listen to the rest of the show.
Speaker 4: Here we go.
Speaker 3: Welcome to I said no gifts. I'm Bridger winegar Age fourteen.
Speaker 3: I'm looking right down the barrel of the camera. This
Speaker 3: is the second time we're starting the podcast. We've had
Speaker 3: some things, so I now I'm just repeating things that
Speaker 3: were repeated pre recording, and that's nobody's fault but my own.
Speaker 3: On a. Lisa's demanding I look right into the camera
Speaker 3: for YouTube for the videos, So that's what I'm doing.
Speaker 3: And if you're just listening to this, it doesn't affect
Speaker 3: you in any way. I've had my baby belled cheese
Speaker 3: from the office fridge. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Is
Speaker 3: there anything else? My horoscope reminded me that other people
Speaker 3: have their own problems. That does not sound right to me,
Speaker 3: So let's just move on to the podcast. I really
Speaker 3: adore today's guest. It's Tom Sharpling. Tom, Hi, welcome to
Speaker 3: I said no.
Speaker 4: Gifts, thanks for having me. Of course, sighting.
Speaker 3: Of course, it's a little rainy outside, it's a little damp.
Speaker 3: How was your drive over?
Speaker 4: Oh it's fine. A lot of classic LA drivers where
Speaker 4: the fast lane is kind of a suggestion that you
Speaker 4: can be like either somebody's going one hundred and ten
Speaker 4: miles an hours if it's fast and the furious, or
Speaker 4: somebody is driving forty five miles an hour in the
Speaker 4: fast Yeah.
Speaker 3: I feel like the fast lane within the Los Angeles County,
Speaker 3: no one understands that that's what it's for. Yes, even
Speaker 3: my boyfriend, who's actually kind of an aggressive driver. But
Speaker 3: then we'll just in the fast lane the whole time,
Speaker 3: and we're just going seventy five, and I ask him
Speaker 3: over and over, please move, You're supposed to pass in
Speaker 3: this thing?
Speaker 4: Is this worth it? We go now. It's really bizarre
Speaker 4: how uniquely awful the driving is out here. And sometimes
Speaker 4: it's just like everybody's like, oh, the traffic. It's like, no,
Speaker 4: it's not the traffic, it's the humans making awful decisions.
Speaker 3: I imagine somebody has made this observation before. But do
Speaker 3: you feel like that is because there are so many
Speaker 3: transplants here and everyone's constantly lost.
Speaker 4: I could see that. It is like a It is
Speaker 4: a place where not a lot of people are from here.
Speaker 4: Who are here like they'll be like, I'm from Los Angeles,
Speaker 4: I've been here for three years now, being from New Jersey.
Speaker 4: The fast lane is like the fast lane. It's like
Speaker 4: the Autobahn where people are just like like, if you're
Speaker 4: not going eighty, you might as well be going ten
Speaker 4: miles an hour right the turnpike.
Speaker 3: And I imagine there's amount of road rage.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, no, it's it's on the license plate. It
Speaker 4: says home of road rage.
Speaker 3: Have you ever gone a speeding ticket?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I've got plenty of speeding tickets, so not
Speaker 4: in a long time, knock on wood, but yeah, I've
Speaker 4: gotten speeding tickets.
Speaker 3: What's the fastest you were going when getting a.
Speaker 4: Like seventy eight, seventy eight? Fifty five? Yeah? Not okay? Two?
Speaker 3: That's ridiculous. Yeah, I feel like fifty five is no
Speaker 3: longer a real speed limit on a freeway.
Speaker 4: No, that's a that's that's a bizarre. It's like an
Speaker 4: antiquated thing. It's like when you hear that, Like, like
Speaker 4: I was thinking, like on Saturday Night Live, where we
Speaker 4: write all Tuesday night into the morning, It's like, why,
Speaker 4: because that's how we always did it here. It's like,
Speaker 4: are we sure we don't want to question that at
Speaker 4: any point and be like, well, maybe we could work
Speaker 4: normal office hours and not be sleep deprived when we
Speaker 4: come in to do a table read.
Speaker 3: Right, a strange badge of honor or whatever for absolutely
Speaker 3: no reason whatsoever.
Speaker 4: Sticking to these old norms is kind of kind of ridiculous.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that one ten is still a fifty five.
Speaker 4: Speed one ten is pretty awesome because it has I
Speaker 4: didn't know you could have a ninety degree angle turn
Speaker 4: off of a highway where you go from going fifty
Speaker 4: five to five into a residence. Like within thirty feet
Speaker 4: you're in a residential area.
Speaker 3: You're going through someone.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just like you're going so fast and then
Speaker 4: suddenly it's actual houses and you are still going fast.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just breezing past an elementary schools. I've recently like,
Speaker 3: I feel like the one ten does. And this is
Speaker 3: this is a topic for four people, but I feel
Speaker 3: like that particular freeway, that stretch of it, it's very old,
Speaker 3: gets a very bad rap, but I've kind of fallen
Speaker 3: in love with it recently.
Speaker 4: I like it. It's very weird and it feels like
Speaker 4: it feels like nobody caught that this still exists yet
Speaker 4: and they haven't changed it like they've been meaning like
Speaker 4: it's like, oh wait, we didn't, we didn't alter that yet.
Speaker 4: How'd that get away from us?
Speaker 3: It's very charming. It has a lot of curves which
Speaker 3: you don't usually see on a freeway. You actually have
Speaker 3: to pay attention.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, no, you've got to be on guard, right.
Speaker 3: I mean the biggest problem, obviously, is going from a
Speaker 3: stop sign to freeway speeds that like on the entrances.
Speaker 4: There's always that moment where you're trying to get on
Speaker 4: the one ten. There's a stop sign and cars are
Speaker 4: going so fast and you're trying to just find your
Speaker 4: your entry point. It's so sack you have to go
Speaker 4: from you have to be going so fast so quickly. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I'm amazed that there's not a thousand accidents on the
Speaker 4: one ten every day.
Speaker 3: I know, it's really shocking. I I should be responsible
Speaker 3: for at least five hundred of those accidents the way
Speaker 3: I'm pulling onto that thing, But and I have no
Speaker 3: real sense of space or time, So when I pull
Speaker 3: out onto it, it's like I'm putting everybody's life in danger.
Speaker 3: And of course, like that would be a you would
Speaker 3: get hit by a cargoing seventy yeah, oh.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, is that like that would look like you
Speaker 4: would be dead? Oh yeah, you would be dead. You
Speaker 4: wouldn't know what it looked like.
Speaker 3: But while driving down it, you do feel almost like
Speaker 3: a It's like a detective freeway in the forties or fifties.
Speaker 3: I feel like you're on the case or something.
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, the one ten. It feels like you'd see
Speaker 4: Philip Marlow driving on the one ten is Stewda Baker.
Speaker 3: He just had a steak and coffee and.
Speaker 4: He's exactly for thirty cents he has had. Yeah, I
Speaker 4: like when you've seen those movies and it's like coffee
Speaker 4: five cents, Like, how did this go? Fifty thousand percent
Speaker 4: of price increase on this five cents was for coffee.
Speaker 3: Why wouldn't you hand someone to nickel for anything?
Speaker 4: It's just like movies ten cents. It's like, this is
Speaker 4: like wartime inflation. We've we actually live in.
Speaker 3: And the amount of change that people were carrying around
Speaker 3: just jailing.
Speaker 4: And then now we're just like coins, what are these coins?
Speaker 4: Why do we have coins?
Speaker 3: Do you know what I did recently though, is I
Speaker 3: got a roll of quarters and put it in my
Speaker 3: car middle whatever that little treasure chest is. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: and it's changed everything as far as parking meters goes.
Speaker 4: I have in my glove compartment. I shouldn't say this
Speaker 4: because now my car is gonna be a targe. You're
Speaker 4: listening breaking into my car. I have in my glove
Speaker 4: compartment like a little zippy bag that shaped like a
Speaker 4: piece of cake. And I have coins in it that
Speaker 4: I use for meters and it's always a life changer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I credit card in a parking meter. I'm so
Speaker 3: frustrating for me.
Speaker 4: Yeah. And do you know this might be getting very specific.
Speaker 4: Nothing is more infuriating than the parking lot in past
Speaker 4: Fields next to Fred sixty two. Oh, there's that one part.
Speaker 4: And it never the machine never works.
Speaker 3: It's horrible and you.
Speaker 4: Can't even scratched, so like people have scratched the things
Speaker 4: that you can't even read whether you paid for it
Speaker 4: or not. And there's always just like a line of
Speaker 4: six people. And finally she was like, it's not working today.
Speaker 4: Let's just hope you don't get tickets.
Speaker 3: I mean, if the city wants you to pay, they
Speaker 3: should be on top of those things making sure they
Speaker 3: work at all times.
Speaker 4: Oh. Absolutely no, it should be a h They should.
Speaker 3: Care, They should care on someone they don't care. I
Speaker 3: feel like if the machine isn't working, I should also
Speaker 3: have like post it notes in my car that I
Speaker 3: can write it's not working your this is now your problem.
Speaker 4: Absolutely. I always thought the greatest thing ever would be
Speaker 4: to have in your trunk like a fake fire hydrant
Speaker 4: you could put in front of when you want to
Speaker 4: park somewhere, and you put it there when you know
Speaker 4: you're gonna have to be there, and then you just
Speaker 4: go and then you put the fire hydrant back in
Speaker 4: your trunk when you get there, and then when you Yeah,
Speaker 4: I just I don't have the courage to do that though,
Speaker 4: to actually be like, set, did you just pick your
Speaker 4: the fire hydrant up and put it in your trunk? Yeah,
Speaker 4: I'm up to something.
Speaker 3: I wonder what the consequences would be if you were
Speaker 3: caught doing that.
Speaker 4: Is there like impersonating a fire hydrant?
Speaker 3: There's no law you'd fire hydrant salesman.
Speaker 4: I think you're Oh. The other one you could do
Speaker 4: is I always though it would be to put like
Speaker 4: win this car. You could just like park on the
Speaker 4: sidewalk and just have a sign it says win this car,
Speaker 4: with like a website, and then people like, well, there's
Speaker 4: clearly some sponsored arrangements here. There's a car, win it,
Speaker 4: and then it's just then you just put your win
Speaker 4: this car signed back in the.
Speaker 3: Trunk like a ninety eight cord or something.
Speaker 4: I'm giving you exactly why who wants to win this
Speaker 4: dirty Kia.
Speaker 3: I've never No, I've gotten one parking ticket and never
Speaker 3: gotten a speeding ticket. Really, well, I'm in moder gratulations
Speaker 3: an A plus driver.
Speaker 4: That's what everybody says. No, you're you're the mister safety
Speaker 4: on the road.
Speaker 3: I'm actually an atrocious driver. Really, the fact that I
Speaker 3: wrote drove on the freeway today in the rain is crazy.
Speaker 4: Well, I would hear people get so weirdly bad at
Speaker 4: driving in the rain. There' just like I remember arguing
Speaker 4: one to when I was I lived in New Jersey
Speaker 4: for most of my life and came out here probably
Speaker 4: five years ago, and people would I would be out
Speaker 4: here and it would rain. People would be drawing like
Speaker 4: twenty miles an hour and be like, why do you
Speaker 4: guys go so slow? And I'm like, it's the the
Speaker 4: oils come out of the road when it rains, Like
Speaker 4: what the oils the asphalt has been holding oils that
Speaker 4: the water lifts from them and everybody's skidding around. It's like, no,
Speaker 4: you guys are just not great drying. Yeah, that's fine.
Speaker 3: I mean, speaking of New Jersey, I feel like the
Speaker 3: last time I saw you, we may have even talked
Speaker 3: about this, but I've it's just been dominating my thoughts
Speaker 3: since the last time I was in Jersey over the
Speaker 3: holidays and I saw it for the first time, that
Speaker 3: giant mall. Have you been to that thing?
Speaker 4: No, that thing was it was not done xanadu is.
Speaker 4: I think what they were calling is that. I think
Speaker 4: I think it was it's way up north. They were
Speaker 4: building the world like this giant shopping center that had
Speaker 4: literally like a ski yes, ski slope in it, and
Speaker 4: they ran out of money and it was just this incomplete,
Speaker 4: just albatross. I would pass for years and then they
Speaker 4: finally got it on track. When I was leaving. I
Speaker 4: never got to see the ski slope, right, go to
Speaker 4: the mall with your skis?
Speaker 3: People take that or do you just borrow them from
Speaker 3: them all you might?
Speaker 4: Is it like a roller rink where we would just
Speaker 4: get some schemes you're spraying them with lysol?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah that. I drove past it and it is
Speaker 3: an atrocious looking building, like.
Speaker 4: Oh, it's hard, it's like a checkered it does it
Speaker 4: looks like the Partridge family bus with all the patterns
Speaker 4: on it. And you're like, this is clear now I
Speaker 4: know why this thing was not finished because just the
Speaker 4: color scheme is bad enough. It's like clear that if
Speaker 4: that's a reflection on who's trying to get this thing
Speaker 4: off the ground, It's like, yeah, of course this is
Speaker 4: a disaster.
Speaker 3: There must have been a lot of dirty money there.
Speaker 4: That's New Jersey.
Speaker 3: It's a place where what are you talking about?
Speaker 4: Go to a diner and then you I would eat
Speaker 4: it this diner and Hoboken and then one day in
Speaker 4: the paper it's like, oh, this is the diner where
Speaker 4: the where they were like making deals for like selling
Speaker 4: organs illegally, the walk in fridge. I don't know how
Speaker 4: they were doing. And it was like there were like
Speaker 4: rabbis involved in it or not. Maybe it was like
Speaker 4: it was it was the messiest thing I've ever heard about,
Speaker 4: And it was like that diner is where it happened.
Speaker 4: And then I learned about that. I'm still eating there,
Speaker 4: and then one night I'm eating Artie Lang comes in
Speaker 4: like a disaster at probably one thirty in the morning,
Speaker 4: I hear he orders two roast beef sandwiches to go.
Speaker 4: It's like, first of all, who gets a roast beef
Speaker 4: sandwich at a dianer? Lit two of them? Like, well,
Speaker 4: look the two that's your call. But it'd be like
Speaker 4: the people get like they go to the they get like,
Speaker 4: oh I got the uh, like the stir fry at
Speaker 4: the diner. It's like, this is this is not what
Speaker 4: they do.
Speaker 3: Make one of those five years, I think mistake.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think we can make that. They get the
Speaker 4: cookbook out for that one.
Speaker 3: What's the uh? And this just feels like we're really
Speaker 3: leaning into a stereotype with New Jersey. But did you
Speaker 3: ever come close to knowing anyone that was even remotely
Speaker 3: connected to the mafia?
Speaker 4: You could, I mean in terms of knowing, not knowing, knowing,
Speaker 4: But I would meet people and you're just like, it's
Speaker 4: like it is really like the cliche where somebody would
Speaker 4: be just like, yeah, I work in.
Speaker 3: Like waste waste.
Speaker 4: Management, their construction and I mean that stuff didn't come
Speaker 4: from nowhere. It's not it's not fiction. But and you
Speaker 4: can always feel because there would also be people who
Speaker 4: would act like they were connected and you know they're
Speaker 4: talking about yes, yes, it's the people who were like
Speaker 4: quiet and you're just like, like, guy scary, And then
Speaker 4: you kind of realize put two and two together on
Speaker 4: those guys.
Speaker 3: What a shame for the people in New Jersey who
Speaker 3: are actually in construction and waste management.
Speaker 4: Yeah, just making an honest living. I mean New Jersey
Speaker 4: literally has the docks, and like Elizabeth, New Jersey, it's
Speaker 4: like a it's like a put on. It's like the docks.
Speaker 4: It's just where it would be. The cranes are lifting
Speaker 4: those giant those giant things off and they're filled with
Speaker 4: stuff and it's it's just so you can tell how
Speaker 4: crooked certain spots are.
Speaker 3: How powerful do we think the mafia is at this point?
Speaker 4: That's a good question. I think they would be a
Speaker 4: real headache if you had like a store and they'd
Speaker 4: be just like guy, come to hey, be shamed something
Speaker 4: happened in this place. Like it would be kind of
Speaker 4: exciting though, if somebody came into my store and was
Speaker 4: just kind of like nice place you got here, knock
Speaker 4: something over it shatters, Yeah, we might have to look
Speaker 4: after it for you. Like I'm running a baseball card shop.
Speaker 4: I don't make much money. Please, It's like like it's
Speaker 4: a karate studio. We have some mats is all we
Speaker 4: have here? Are you gonna take my mass away from me?
Speaker 3: Just feels like co managing the store you're just stepping
Speaker 3: into help.
Speaker 4: Yeah you want to help, I'll hire you. You work
Speaker 4: here now, now you're the mob guys like booking classes
Speaker 4: for fifteen year olds doing karate.
Speaker 3: I like the Mafia being reduced to a pain in
Speaker 3: the neck at this point. Yeah, yeah, I wonder who,
Speaker 3: like the number one guy is. It's uh, who was
Speaker 3: the like the last big mafia guy who got caught him?
Speaker 4: Well, John Gotti that's like the biggest one, right, But
Speaker 4: there were always these guys. There was one guy who
Speaker 4: pretended to be like insane and would walk around the
Speaker 4: village in a bathrobe and but was actually still kind
Speaker 4: of like mobbed up, but he was pretending to be
Speaker 4: just like, oh he lost his mind, and then they
Speaker 4: caught him at some point. Its like, no, he didn't
Speaker 4: lose his mind. He's just doing the long game here.
Speaker 4: But just the idea that the commitment I'm gonna be nuts,
Speaker 4: Like he tells everybody, I'm gonna walk around the village
Speaker 4: in a bathrobe, keep the Feds off my back because
Speaker 4: I'm crazy.
Speaker 3: Wearing a bathrobe in public really is like the last
Speaker 3: resort to keep people away from you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, now that is a real commitment and He's like, you,
Speaker 4: that'd be the kind of thing when you're gonna like
Speaker 4: take a fashion risk and then you're just like scared
Speaker 4: and you're just like so self conscious with it, like
Speaker 4: and then just like I couldn't pull that off. I'm
Speaker 4: not wearing the robe anymore.
Speaker 3: You're kind of just like trying to carefully take it
Speaker 3: off without people noticing.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Oh, he went back to not wearing a robe again.
Speaker 3: Do you have a bathrobe? Do you walk around the
Speaker 3: house in a robe?
Speaker 4: I'm not a huge on bathrobes for whatever reason. I
Speaker 4: don't know. There's just too much work, kind of like
Speaker 4: because it's too it's I either get too like suddenly
Speaker 4: I'll go from being cold to being.
Speaker 3: Too warm right with a bathrobe.
Speaker 4: Like within like four minutes. I'm just like, I get
Speaker 4: this ba throbe off me. I'd rather just grab a blanket,
Speaker 4: grab a blanket, warm up, and then dispose of not
Speaker 4: disposed of the blanket. I fold it back. I don't
Speaker 4: throw it out. Get this blanket garbage can full of
Speaker 4: blankets I throw out.
Speaker 3: I like a robe during the winter.
Speaker 4: It's nice a light robe.
Speaker 3: Do you like a light I would say it's like
Speaker 3: a medium level robe.
Speaker 4: Okay, so you can get warm from the yes.
Speaker 3: Okay, And it's not after showering or a bath. It's
Speaker 3: like when I wake up in the morning, while I'm
Speaker 3: eating breakfast or whatever, okay, kind of shuffling around the house.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't do a whole lot of shuffling. I
Speaker 4: usually wake up in a panic and I don't have then.
Speaker 3: I also wake up in a panic, but that leads
Speaker 3: to shuffling.
Speaker 4: Not a lot of robe time in my schedule, just like,
Speaker 4: oh shit, I gotta be out of here, hurry.
Speaker 3: How quick? How soon between waking up and getting dressed, Like,
Speaker 3: what's the time there? Oh?
Speaker 4: Well, it depends me and my wife will do it.
Speaker 4: We'll drink coffee in the morning to sit on the
Speaker 4: couch and talk and that'll that's kind of a fun
Speaker 4: thing when we can do that, so that like we
Speaker 4: can just do that for an hour. It's the best
Speaker 4: hour of the day, right, And it's just like, well,
Speaker 4: I guess we got to start our stupid days. Now.
Speaker 3: What kind of conversations are you having, like upon waking up,
Speaker 3: I can't imagine doing that.
Speaker 4: We talk about first, we talk about sleep. How did
Speaker 4: you sleep right? Did you have any dreams, ice breakers whatever, Yeah,
Speaker 4: ice break as if we're just as if it's speed
Speaker 4: dating or something, we're just meeting. We're seeing if there's
Speaker 4: any kind of chemistry between us. Yeah, and then we
Speaker 4: just talk about what we're going to do, and then
Speaker 4: that spins off into any kind of discussion about anything,
Speaker 4: what our day is, and then we kind of take
Speaker 4: inventory of the.
Speaker 3: People we don't like, I remember someone else.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, no, it's it's very it's actually a pretty
Speaker 4: positive thing. We actually kind of get each other ready
Speaker 4: for the.
Speaker 3: Day, right, And that sounds very nice. I wish I
Speaker 3: was capable of that. Are you eating.
Speaker 4: Breakfast sometimes not a major priority for me? Sense to me?
Speaker 4: I don't know. I can't do too much coffee in
Speaker 4: the morning with nothing in my stomach or I just
Speaker 4: like I get ill from that. But I go right
Speaker 4: to the line with it, like I push it, right.
Speaker 4: I like eating lunch. I'd rather eat a more substantial
Speaker 4: lunch than to start things, because if I eat breakfast,
Speaker 4: I'm weirdly hungrier. Like ninety minutes later, I was just like,
Speaker 4: I've started the food.
Speaker 3: Right, you your body that this is a possibility.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just can't.
Speaker 3: I can't imagine waiting until noon to have my first
Speaker 3: meal of the day. I would lose my mind.
Speaker 4: Well, it would be breakfast for you. What's it?
Speaker 3: I just like a protein bar. I just need to
Speaker 3: choose something.
Speaker 4: Oh, I mean, I have stuff in my car I
Speaker 4: keep like, like I go to I go to Costco again.
Speaker 4: My car is gonna get broken. Either you're going to
Speaker 4: want the coins or they're gonna want my trunk snack.
Speaker 4: It's no. I'll just buy like a box of like
Speaker 4: like fig bars, and I keep it in my trunk.
Speaker 4: There's games where I'm just like, ah, I'm hungry now.
Speaker 3: I just they're in your trunk.
Speaker 4: I don't want to be reaching for him every time
Speaker 4: I'm in the car to crazy some wall to remove temptation.
Speaker 4: If it was in my car, I would eat a
Speaker 4: fig bar every time I drove because I'd be in
Speaker 4: traffic and I'd be just like a fig bar. I
Speaker 4: gotta do something to feel better about myself. Where's my
Speaker 4: fig bars?
Speaker 3: The idea of having to like go back to the
Speaker 3: trunk to get something that he feels crazy.
Speaker 4: Well, when I'm leaving, I go. When I'm leaving, I
Speaker 4: can say I could use this. I'll grab a fike bar,
Speaker 4: bring it up front, drive for like five minutes, and
Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, it's fig bar time. I'm telling you
Speaker 4: way too much about my micro decisions here. This is
Speaker 4: too much.
Speaker 3: My trunk is just packed with clothes that needed to
Speaker 3: go to Goodwill like four years ago or okay, and
Speaker 3: also a box of industrial sized garbage bags my dad
Speaker 3: accident accidentally sent me. They needed to be returned to
Speaker 3: Costco okay, and that'll never happen, so it's just unusable.
Speaker 4: Spain, you can return anything to Costco at any point,
Speaker 4: like there is like there's no you think you're talking
Speaker 4: to You could bring something like board this men in
Speaker 4: black DVT not true. Fourteen years ago.
Speaker 3: I tried returning these once and I wasn't a Costco member, okay,
Speaker 3: and I was like, you can just return these things
Speaker 3: you weren't a member, But I was like, return them
Speaker 3: to him.
Speaker 4: We don't want to hear from you. I'm a Costco member.
Speaker 4: I am now, okay, well good now you should be
Speaker 4: able to return it.
Speaker 3: But I already went through the experience once. I don't
Speaker 3: think I can ever do that again. Yeah, I only
Speaker 3: go to Costco now to get my chicken and various
Speaker 3: other little items.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I like Costco.
Speaker 3: What are you buying at Costco?
Speaker 4: Almond milk? Get that three pack of almond milk. It's
Speaker 4: pretty sweet. Giant box of cereal which I eat at night? Actually,
Speaker 4: what type of cereal? Oh? What kind don't I get? No?
Speaker 4: I get it's like that. I like the special k
Speaker 4: with the strawberry okay, whatever, the freeze dried strawberries come
Speaker 4: back to life strawberry. It is like that. It's like
Speaker 4: that astronaut ice cream. It's simple stuff. I don't go
Speaker 4: insane at Costco. Like, I'm not buying like a tent,
Speaker 4: like the way they like you always go in there
Speaker 4: and suddenly it's like they just have like a tent set.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like life things or I'm just like that would
Speaker 3: be such a like thought out purchase for me. It
Speaker 3: would never be. Oh, Costco has it. I'll get the.
Speaker 4: Tent now exactly in the market for a tent of.
Speaker 3: Time for to buy a hot tub.
Speaker 4: It's like, yeah, do you ever eat at Costco? You
Speaker 4: ever get in that line?
Speaker 3: No, But I've been wanting to. I've been wanting to
Speaker 3: have lunch at Costco. It feels like an experience I
Speaker 3: should have at some point.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think you need to get that under your
Speaker 4: belt to decide whether this is you or not. Yeah,
Speaker 4: let me see if it fits your the your way
Speaker 4: of living. It's because they have this pizza, like the
Speaker 4: tenth biggest pizza chain in America. Because they're just selling
Speaker 4: so many pizzas.
Speaker 3: They must be like number three hot dog chain.
Speaker 4: Hot. Yeah. I mean, look, well, Who'sian Nathan Wiener Schnitzel.
Speaker 4: I've never been in one of those. No, they look
Speaker 4: scary to me, Like what's going on in there? There's
Speaker 4: like certain chains I've never jolly Bee.
Speaker 3: I've never I have been inside a mall jolly Be.
Speaker 3: But my friend was eating.
Speaker 4: Okay, sure, never been there, never been to Is it
Speaker 4: there or Schnitzel? Is that what it is?
Speaker 3: I would just say Wiener Schnitzel.
Speaker 4: Whatever.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to be respected the German gracious about I
Speaker 3: want to.
Speaker 4: Respect my German friends because they're coming for us.
Speaker 3: Is run by Nazis.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we've been funding the Fourth Reke this whole time.
Speaker 3: Wait, but you have you had the pizza at Costco? Oh?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Is it good?
Speaker 4: It's not very good. It's so cheesy. Okay, it's like
Speaker 4: that kind of like and I'm not going to be
Speaker 4: the person who's just like, oh, here are the pizzas
Speaker 4: like this, because the Costco pizza is the same everywhere, right,
Speaker 4: but it's that incredibly dowey soft. It's almost like eating
Speaker 4: cake that has cheese on it, cheese and sat Yeah.
Speaker 4: Now it's it's not great, right, but it's very cheap.
Speaker 3: Yes, And the hot dogs are very cheap.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I have had a cookie from it that's like
Speaker 3: a recent addition to the menu, and I thought it
Speaker 3: was decent.
Speaker 4: I mean, not bad, very sugary, though extremely sweet. They
Speaker 4: go very hard on that stuff. They're just like it's
Speaker 4: like a it's like airplane food where they're just like
Speaker 4: when you're higher up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you've got an intense your senses are numbed.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but we're on the ground.
Speaker 3: But maybe while you're in Costco you have a similar
Speaker 3: like your body has a similar reaction to being at
Speaker 3: ten thousand.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it does feel like you're somewhere else. The air
Speaker 4: is thinner, thinner at Costco.
Speaker 3: Well, there's something else I feel like we should talk about,
Speaker 3: and I feel like you've been avoiding the subject. The
Speaker 3: entire time, which is upsetting me a little bit. Tom.
Speaker 3: I was excited to have you here on the podcast.
Speaker 3: I think you're wonderful.
Speaker 4: Well, thank you.
Speaker 3: I figured we'd have a nice conversation, we'd move on
Speaker 3: with our day. The podcast is called I said no gifts,
Speaker 3: and so I kind of had to. You know, I
Speaker 3: did a double take when you walked into the studio
Speaker 3: holding two what are clearly gifts, two items wrapped in
Speaker 3: a gorgeous wrapping paper, which really screamed Tom sharply.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so expertly, wrap expertly like a department store.
Speaker 3: Were you at Nords?
Speaker 4: From the sponges sticking off and the pape going.
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, someone went to Dillard's.
Speaker 4: Look, I didn't listen. I did what I wanted. I
Speaker 4: brought you a couple of things.
Speaker 3: Well, fair enough, should we open them here on the podcast?
Speaker 4: Sure? These work in conjunction, they will work together.
Speaker 3: Okay, So should I open one before the other thing?
Speaker 4: Which will go first? Okay? This is it's for it's
Speaker 4: going to be for you to have a fun night.
Speaker 3: One is a gun and one is bullets.
Speaker 4: Yes, now we'll go with that.
Speaker 3: We'll open this one first, all right, this is the
Speaker 3: smaller of the two. Yeah, okay, Oh I've been meaning
Speaker 3: to try this. Oh yeah, it's the French the new
Speaker 3: Girl Scout Cookie, the French toast one.
Speaker 4: Yes, I like how you accent Scout.
Speaker 3: Oh interesting, do I say his story Girl Scout? This
Speaker 3: is interesting because you're from New Jersey, my book from
Speaker 3: New Jersey and the harassment I get about certain ways
Speaker 3: I say things like air conditioning. I say ice cream, Okay,
Speaker 3: does that sound strange?
Speaker 4: Air conditioning? Like you go air conditioning as if we're
Speaker 4: doing different things to the air. Well, this is the
Speaker 4: air conditioning.
Speaker 3: Part of And you say air conditioning.
Speaker 4: The air conditioning. Yeah, but you're saying it as if
Speaker 4: like like turn on the air reduction machine. That's what
Speaker 4: it is, turn on the air conditioning machine.
Speaker 3: Conditions.
Speaker 4: There's air, multiple air machines that you're like, which air
Speaker 4: machine should have put it? The air conditioning.
Speaker 3: I'm not wrong here, Like, you're not wrong. That's the
Speaker 3: purpose for the air conditioning.
Speaker 4: You're the host, You're not wrong. So yeah, so you
Speaker 4: have these girls, these girl Scout cookies are it's the new.
Speaker 3: French toast, And now I feel I know, I'm like,
Speaker 3: am I saying French toast.
Speaker 4: Correct, You're getting that perfectly right. In New Jersey, people
Speaker 4: would be like, you're from here? When you start saying
Speaker 4: French toasts like that, people like what what exit on
Speaker 4: the highway are you from?
Speaker 3: Have you had this particular?
Speaker 4: How is it great?
Speaker 3: I mean, I feel like we should open them now.
Speaker 4: Sure I've been you know, But I will say, this
Speaker 4: is for a night for you to have a night.
Speaker 4: I don't want you to cash that out because it
Speaker 4: goes in conjunction with this.
Speaker 3: And should I open that, Sure, talk about.
Speaker 4: It because it would be it. This is meant for
Speaker 4: you to have a nice night right at home.
Speaker 3: And I will I mean, I will tell you this
Speaker 3: is a very good gift for me because every night
Speaker 3: I do have a nightly cookie, okay, and so I
Speaker 3: usually bake them, but when a cookie is about this small,
Speaker 3: I'll have four of them.
Speaker 4: Sure. No, I've heard about the dough you've got stockpiled.
Speaker 3: Who told you this?
Speaker 4: You said it on the show? Yes?
Speaker 3: Oh on the ship. It's like like what you said, right.
Speaker 3: We've recorded other podcasts, other episodes of this before.
Speaker 4: That's my worst night. I am at the point where
Speaker 4: I've talked into microphones for so long, and I'll have
Speaker 4: a thought, and I'll be like, is this a new thought?
Speaker 4: Did I already say this to a friend out loud?
Speaker 4: Did it leave my lips at some point? Did I
Speaker 4: say it into a microphone? Have I said it more
Speaker 4: than once into a micro Like, I can't remember any
Speaker 4: thought what I've done with this thought.
Speaker 3: I just assume at this point I will not have
Speaker 3: a new thought ever again, and that those thoughts have
Speaker 3: been said one hundred times. Yeah, and so the listener's
Speaker 3: still hanging on or like, well here it comes again, Okay,
Speaker 3: well so yeah, okay, I've got the French toast. Let's
Speaker 3: open this other thing here.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it might be slippery, so get ready.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I'm gonna throw this away before I
Speaker 3: even look at it.
Speaker 4: It's this is the dane of every person's existence.
Speaker 3: There are movie screeners with biltreeners, yes, which, if the
Speaker 3: listener's not aware, if you're a part of SAG the
Speaker 3: Screen Actors Guild or the Writer's Guild or whatever, every
Speaker 3: year you get sent Actually I don't get sent these anymore.
Speaker 3: I think I may have signed up for this leave
Speaker 3: me alone, but these are they send DVDs.
Speaker 4: I figured you could watch a movie and have some cookies.
Speaker 4: I have a great night at home.
Speaker 3: You know what. I watched a movie a screener. Last
Speaker 3: night I watched Conclave. Okay, did I say Conclave?
Speaker 4: Correct? You said it right now.
Speaker 3: I feel like anything with two syllables my life is
Speaker 3: going to fall.
Speaker 4: Up a movie. D you see Conclave? Now you're again
Speaker 4: I'm the one saying it wrong. If we're on your show,
Speaker 4: I need to say things the way you say them.
Speaker 4: So enjoy those girls.
Speaker 3: Here as I'm from Utah and you're from New Jersey
Speaker 3: to saints that are constantly used as punchline, so we
Speaker 3: don't there's no like real. Yeah, neither of us has
Speaker 3: the foot up here.
Speaker 4: What's the worst thing people say about Utah that you
Speaker 4: actually take offense? I know what's wrong with New Jersey
Speaker 4: and some people hit bullseyes when they put it down right,
Speaker 4: but other times people are it's just like, oh, screw you,
Speaker 4: you don't know what.
Speaker 3: The one that is like clearly just incorrect is like
Speaker 3: that everyone's a polygamus. Sure, that's just like and I
Speaker 3: feel like a lot of people still kind of assume
Speaker 3: that it's real, and that's I mean, like polygamus do
Speaker 3: exist in Utah, but they're like the state joke. You
Speaker 3: see them and you're like, what's happening. It's like our mobsters,
Speaker 3: right exactly, except for you can pick them out in
Speaker 3: a crowd because their hair is braided and they have
Speaker 3: fifty kids.
Speaker 4: Okay, you can usually pick a mobster out in a
Speaker 4: way because they're they're us generally wearing. Now they're generally
Speaker 4: wearing a lot of Yankees, uh like and like expensive
Speaker 4: track jacket and something that says Yankees on it somewhere.
Speaker 3: Okay, I have these screeners. I've seen a Nora. Did
Speaker 3: you like Anura?
Speaker 4: I did?
Speaker 3: Yes, fantastic, it's so funny. We're going to go through
Speaker 3: all of these. I haven't seen American fiction.
Speaker 4: It's good.
Speaker 3: This is last year, so we are getting.
Speaker 4: We're going back. Look movie, these are classic movies.
Speaker 3: This is another Judas in the Black One's Eye. I
Speaker 3: don't remember this.
Speaker 4: Watched half of it on a plane.
Speaker 3: Let's see who's in this. Oh wait, I have seen this.
Speaker 3: This is really old. This is several years ago.
Speaker 4: It might be a few years old.
Speaker 3: Okay. The United States versus Billie Holiday, the harder they
Speaker 3: fall borat. Yes, this is a twenty twenty. Why hadn't
Speaker 3: you thrown this away? What's happening in your house?
Speaker 4: Well, my friend directed the second Boor movie, Jason Waller,
Speaker 4: so I held on to it for sentimental reasons. And
Speaker 4: then I was just like, I think I can let
Speaker 4: the screen buy the DVD. I can let the screener
Speaker 4: go at this point, yeah.
Speaker 3: So I'm thinking of ending things. Okay, sure to five
Speaker 3: Bloods the Father. Oh Olivia Coleman, what's I haven't seen
Speaker 3: her around for a while.
Speaker 4: Now. She's great.
Speaker 3: She's so good.
Speaker 4: I know, she started like as such a comedy I know,
Speaker 4: and she became respectable.
Speaker 3: Yes, she's so good in Peep Show.
Speaker 4: Oh absolutely, Yeah, what a weird turn of events that legitimate.
Speaker 3: Like one of the most respected actors in films. Story,
Speaker 3: I tried, it didn't make it living have no idea.
Speaker 4: About that those for people who don't know, there's a
Speaker 4: certain type of screener that shows up in a plane.
Speaker 4: This is a sad one a plane, white envelope that
Speaker 4: they're usually the ones that show up first, like in
Speaker 4: like it'll be like Halloween, and then you get like
Speaker 4: these movies and their titles, you're just like this could
Speaker 4: be a fake living. It might be nothing on that.
Speaker 3: This could be about anything.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it could put it in the player and it
Speaker 4: just says like, congratulations, you try and win, or just
Speaker 4: like you win, you're the first person to you win
Speaker 4: a million dollars. Because nobody's ever tried to watch one
Speaker 4: of these bleak white envelope screeners.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a it looks like off brand medicine or something. Yes, Challengers.
Speaker 3: I liked Challengers. I feel like the big complaint was
Speaker 3: it wasn't sexy enough.
Speaker 4: Sure, and sure they hedge their bets.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they didn't go as far as people wanted them to.
Speaker 3: People are discussed thing nickel boys. I need to see this. Look,
Speaker 3: I got a second.
Speaker 4: Just in case the first one didn't work.
Speaker 3: I can spoil a friend. I'm gonna put these on
Speaker 3: people's winshields.
Speaker 4: Sure, yeah, I like if they're and they're always like,
Speaker 4: these are traceable, don't give me the destroy them by
Speaker 4: March fifteenth. You must destroy these.
Speaker 3: They weren't already on torrent websites nine weeks before release.
Speaker 4: Exactly, And it's just like, so they're really going to
Speaker 4: track down that that's my copy of Anora, and what
Speaker 4: are they gonna do not send me more of these garbage.
Speaker 5: I'm calling DIBs on that second Andora.
Speaker 3: You get it on a lease, you win the seat
Speaker 3: of the Sacred fig Now, this is something I have
Speaker 3: never heard.
Speaker 4: I've never heard of it.
Speaker 3: When I my apologies to the filmmakers. Maybe it's good.
Speaker 4: Isn't funny that that's somebody's somebody's life is that movie?
Speaker 4: And there's just so much stuff now track anything like.
Speaker 3: It is impossible to make an impression on anyone.
Speaker 4: Like Julia Roberts has done, like TVs stuff now where
Speaker 4: you're just like, what happened? How is this? This is?
Speaker 3: Like, I mean, it's so strange to like be to
Speaker 3: like write and work in TV and someone will be
Speaker 3: like you tell somebody that, and they're like, well, what
Speaker 3: have you worked on? Like, I'm just not gonna tell
Speaker 3: you because it's gonna be one thing after I'll just
Speaker 3: be like, well, I've worked on Jimmy Kimmel. That's my
Speaker 3: first job. Because that's the only thing you certainly have
Speaker 3: heard of.
Speaker 4: Sure, Now, I.
Speaker 3: Interestingly this is best film editing Andrew Bird. Andrew Bird is,
Speaker 3: as far as I know, just an indie musician.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Well, I guess he's got a going.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's also the modern curse that really well
Speaker 3: could be Andrew.
Speaker 4: Yeah, now he edits.
Speaker 3: He's editing and whistling and and oh this is a
Speaker 3: grand y.
Speaker 4: I figured it in with on a high note, the
Speaker 4: at all controversial.
Speaker 3: This is my big question. Is is it a pun
Speaker 3: on Emily in Paris?
Speaker 4: Well, that's a fair question.
Speaker 3: It's a Netflix film. Yeah, it sounds like Emily in Paris. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it feels like there could be some tie in. But
Speaker 3: I and from what I know about the movie, it's insane,
Speaker 3: So why wouldn't it be.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've not heard one person say anything short of
Speaker 4: that's a total piece of shit movie. Like everybody's just
Speaker 4: like it's one of the worst things I've ever seen.
Speaker 4: But why I didn't even open the door. I'm just
Speaker 4: I'm going to start to do that thing where I
Speaker 4: like kind of pretend I saw it.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's it. The other thing I thought it
Speaker 3: was whatever? Yeah, yeah, is it a musical? I think
Speaker 3: I know it's a musical and it's bad.
Speaker 4: That's what I've been hearing.
Speaker 3: And I feel like there's one scene that's been like
Speaker 3: texted to everyone in existence you have to see this thing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm I've been tuning a lot of things out lately,
Speaker 4: so I'm just gonna pretend I know the scene you're
Speaker 4: talking about.
Speaker 3: I was sent a scene, but I didn't see it
Speaker 3: anywhere online, so I don't even if it's the scene,
Speaker 3: because clearly the movie must have seen after horrible scene.
Speaker 3: But apparently somebody likes it, or there's just a huge marketing.
Speaker 4: Budget, there's a huge push.
Speaker 3: Why did they picked this one?
Speaker 4: I don't, I don't.
Speaker 3: They could have picked the Jason Bateman at the Airport movie.
Speaker 4: They could have picked the one where he had the
Speaker 4: long hair. When I see that, it's like, oh, it's
Speaker 4: a different Jason Bateman.
Speaker 3: That's a bad guy.
Speaker 4: Bad guy, bad guy. And then like there's this Mark
Speaker 4: Wahlberg movie where he's got like he's balder or something.
Speaker 3: I just heard about this. It's called a Flight Risk.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's directed by Mel Gibson.
Speaker 3: Of course, director of the Beaver. Thankfully, he's no actually
Speaker 3: star of the Beaver. That's a Jody Foster film.
Speaker 4: Yes, wait, yeah, he starred. That's weird.
Speaker 3: That was like kind of his comeback after the big
Speaker 3: arrest or whatever.
Speaker 4: There must have been something going on on that Maverick
Speaker 4: set where Jodi Foster did that movie with Mel Gibson
Speaker 4: where they were bonded for life.
Speaker 3: Now they saw something exactly.
Speaker 4: Something went down there and they are linked together for
Speaker 4: all eternity and no I that, but like, I see
Speaker 4: these glimpses of like Mark Wahlberg is just like.
Speaker 3: He's bald in it. I'm gonna I need to google this,
Speaker 3: I need to get my eyes on this. Let's see here,
Speaker 3: Mark Wahlberg bald or just flight risk bald sounds like
Speaker 3: a nasty Let's see. Wait, he's like I did search bald.
Speaker 3: Now I'm gonna he's like receding hairline or like male
Speaker 3: pattern baldness. Is that right?
Speaker 4: I guess it looks like the dad on that seventies show.
Speaker 3: This looks horrible. This looks so.
Speaker 4: Scared that these are the artistic choices being made.
Speaker 3: When you said shade or bald, I just imagine like
Speaker 3: completely shaved as I got.
Speaker 4: Probably looks No, he's got like the tought.
Speaker 3: Yeah, puffy back of the head.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like ed.
Speaker 3: It looks horrifying and like this sort of thing like
Speaker 3: on someone where it's happening naturally it's just like whatever.
Speaker 3: But I mean this is it looks like he bought
Speaker 3: it at the Super Halloween superstore where it's like that
Speaker 3: bad bald cap could fly off in the wind. This
Speaker 3: looks I have to see this movie.
Speaker 4: It's like if like a kid dressed like Doctor Phil
Speaker 4: for Halloween, that would be what they would dress. Yeah,
Speaker 4: like mad Science, like the kids that.
Speaker 3: Comes with the lab coat beaker. Yeah, okay, I haven't
Speaker 3: had my cookie yet? Do you want one? I'm going
Speaker 3: to these are they're available at least do you want one?
Speaker 5: Save me one for later?
Speaker 3: But these are much bigger than I expected.
Speaker 4: It's nearly almost a piece of toad.
Speaker 3: It's almost a piece of toast. I'm chewing into the microphone.
Speaker 4: Which everybody loves.
Speaker 3: Turn up, turn up the sounds, lean into it.
Speaker 4: This is very good.
Speaker 3: It tastes like maybe cinnamon toast crunch.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like it has all almost like that. Yeah, like
Speaker 4: that syrup. It's like a little I remember there being
Speaker 4: a little syrup. Look. I ate the thing like a
Speaker 4: ravenous dog, So I just ate them all.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna su I'm stopping eating it now, not because
Speaker 3: I don't like it, but because of my I'm trying
Speaker 3: to be your perfect kinder podcast, but it is very
Speaker 3: It's because I have pretty strong feelings now about Girls
Speaker 3: Scout cookies, and I feel like a lot of them bomb.
Speaker 4: Well, what would be your favorites.
Speaker 3: I think the thin mint is the only one that's
Speaker 3: actually good and has been good the entire time it tastes.
Speaker 3: I don't think that it has ever changed. It's one
Speaker 3: of the few things in history that's as good now
Speaker 3: as it was twenty years ago.
Speaker 4: I would agree with that completely. The ones that used
Speaker 4: to be called somemosas and they said that's offensives, and
Speaker 4: now they're called they changed the name of them, right,
Speaker 4: wonderfuls or something like that, wonderful I have something like that.
Speaker 4: But I remember when those showed up, just like somebody's
Speaker 4: getting fancy in the cookie lab over at the Girl's Scout.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the tag alongs. Those used to be good.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, there has been like a drop in general,
Speaker 4: drop in quality.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think they I think they've been cutting corners
Speaker 3: on some of the ingredients.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think the shortbread is still good.
Speaker 4: I like the short bread.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what are the other ones?
Speaker 4: Isn't there like a peanut butter one in there.
Speaker 3: Oh, I don't mind that one.
Speaker 4: I'm not huge on peanut butter, like.
Speaker 3: To hear, but you like peanut butter in general, like.
Speaker 4: Peanut butter, but sometimes peanut butter cookie is a little uh,
Speaker 4: it still slows things down a little too much, Like
Speaker 4: now I have to drink something for every COI I
Speaker 4: need to drink something, you know.
Speaker 3: I think that's all of them. And oh, there's a
Speaker 3: s'mores flavor, which I didn't work for me.
Speaker 4: No, it was very like chemical yeasting.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's very like frozen yogurt, artificial flavor.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're being told that this is.
Speaker 3: Right because we know those It should literally just be
Speaker 3: gram cracker and a We know you can put a
Speaker 3: marshmallow and that can be preserved in a package.
Speaker 4: We've all seen it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and put some chocolate on this.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But I said, it's like just a literal cookie with
Speaker 3: the flavor and fuse, which I find upsetting.
Speaker 4: I agree with you completely.
Speaker 3: It's like a jelly belly.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess so sure, But I.
Speaker 3: Do like a jelly belly.
Speaker 4: Well where would where the test for me with jelly
Speaker 4: bellies is where people feel about the buttered popcorn. Okay,
Speaker 4: I hate you hate it?
Speaker 3: What do you think of it?
Speaker 4: I like it?
Speaker 3: Okay, I think it's a bad tasting it. First of all,
Speaker 3: it does not taste like popcorn.
Speaker 4: No, of course it doesn't.
Speaker 3: But it doesn't taste like anything. It tastes just like
Speaker 3: a bad It just hurts my tongue. Sure, it's between
Speaker 3: sweet and like putrid.
Speaker 4: And the thing is I agree with you completely, yet
Speaker 4: I do like them. It's one of those things. Was
Speaker 4: just like, I don't know this is working for me.
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna keep going. Look, I would not seek
Speaker 4: them out right, I'm going to go to like the
Speaker 4: It's sugar and just get a bag of just buttered
Speaker 4: popcorn jelly bellies. But if I come across one, you'll eat.
Speaker 3: There's something very urinal.
Speaker 4: I could see that.
Speaker 3: I don't know like them.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't like cinnamon ones though they're too strong.
Speaker 3: I don't like any cinnamon flavored candy.
Speaker 4: I think, yeah, like red hot things. I don't like
Speaker 4: any of that stuff.
Speaker 3: No, and that I think that's falls into kind of
Speaker 3: the small category where it's like I know what cinnamon
Speaker 3: tastes like, and this is not that.
Speaker 4: No, this is just you're overcompensating and making it very extreme.
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, and uh, I think those are the two
Speaker 3: owned banana flavor. Those are the three that just never
Speaker 3: work it.
Speaker 4: Ever, Bananas rough and grape is I like, but it's
Speaker 4: just nothing to do with what an actual grape tastes like,
Speaker 4: Like it's just like purple called a purple flavor.
Speaker 3: But I imagine at some point, whoever was creating it,
Speaker 3: that's what grape tasted like to them, I guess.
Speaker 4: So, I mean, what would be this the starter that
Speaker 4: would be like grape soda?
Speaker 3: Yeah, grape soda feels like the earliest form of that
Speaker 3: grape syrup.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's just but why how where did they
Speaker 4: get off saying this is grape? Right? They came up
Speaker 4: with this flavor, and then somebody's like, this is called grape, Like,
Speaker 4: what's his taste? Like, I don't know, it's grape. Okay, sure,
Speaker 4: I'll take your word for it.
Speaker 3: I feel like a lot of people's problem with grape
Speaker 3: flavoring is they associated with children's tailand all.
Speaker 4: Yeah as a kid, yeah now, but I also have
Speaker 4: a if there was a candy that was the taste
Speaker 4: of those aspirins, I would eat that. Oh what were
Speaker 4: those again? The saint remember, like the aspirins were like
Speaker 4: very like for kids.
Speaker 3: Oh I'm not familiar, man, they were good.
Speaker 4: I would actually go to this. I would go to
Speaker 4: like CVS and get a bos on just like two.
Speaker 4: What's the big deal of each your children's ask for
Speaker 4: in a day?
Speaker 3: For your heart?
Speaker 4: Right? Yeah, it's like I'm taking care of myself. But
Speaker 4: I remember thinking those tast it's so good. I think
Speaker 4: it was.
Speaker 3: I love a great yeah medicine. There was a sun
Speaker 3: Kissed vitamin that was a similar thing. It tasted fantastic.
Speaker 3: They were so much better than a flintstone vitamin, which
Speaker 3: I think are awful.
Speaker 4: They were not good.
Speaker 3: And that also falls into kind of the Gatorade gum
Speaker 3: territory for me. Oh you didn't like that?
Speaker 4: It's so strong?
Speaker 3: I love, Oh it's great.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like, well, what it comes down to is
Speaker 4: I don't exercise enough to justify needing to like rehydrate
Speaker 4: through gum. Like I'm not in some extreme training mode.
Speaker 4: I'm like, dude, if you don't get your electrolytes, you're
Speaker 4: gonna be in trouble. It's like, well, I gotta have
Speaker 4: some gum.
Speaker 2: Men.
Speaker 3: When does anyone ever in a situation where they just
Speaker 3: don't have a liquid to drink and they need to
Speaker 3: be chewing I need to go to Parkle Pelps. Like,
Speaker 3: I guess you're swimming, so.
Speaker 4: Training for six hours at a at a stretch.
Speaker 3: Can't have a mouthful of chlorine. So yeah, chewing gum
Speaker 3: while swimming. That sounds dangerous to me. Yeah, it feels
Speaker 3: like something that not a lot of people.
Speaker 4: Do you get a mouthful of chlorine?
Speaker 3: Yeah? No? I love the Gatorade flavored gum, but I
Speaker 3: wonder if that's even made anymore, and that, I mean,
Speaker 3: the big problem with that is you're not going to
Speaker 3: buy that at a grocery store that you have to
Speaker 3: go to like I don't know.
Speaker 4: Sports sporting goods and get like Gatorade gum. It's probably
Speaker 4: six dollars a pack, but way too expensive, right right?
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, I feel like we should look back at
Speaker 3: these movies for a moment. Have you seen any good
Speaker 3: movies recently?
Speaker 4: I watched Night Bitch the other Oh, how was that
Speaker 4: everybody was saying? Was so like everybody's like saying It
Speaker 4: was like like a punchline of a movie, just like
Speaker 4: it was fine. It was like when I wouldn't recommend
Speaker 4: it necessarily, but I kept waiting for it to be
Speaker 4: like I waited for it to be the point where
Speaker 4: we started laughing at it, and it kind of didn't
Speaker 4: show up. And Amy Adams is working so hard in
Speaker 4: this movie that you kind of just have to give
Speaker 4: her props for She's gone. She's all in on something
Speaker 4: that's very potentially very ridiculous, right right, having to like
Speaker 4: eat food in a like a dog?
Speaker 3: Is she aware? Wolf?
Speaker 4: She turns into a dog?
Speaker 3: She does? I didn't know that. I had no idea.
Speaker 3: I mean, the title kind of tells you, but I
Speaker 3: just assumed it was like a spicy movie. She turns
Speaker 3: into a dog?
Speaker 4: Why because it's hard for your birthday? Now, it's hard
Speaker 4: being a mom with kids.
Speaker 3: Oh and so that turns her into a dog at night?
Speaker 3: What sort of dog?
Speaker 4: Wolf? Wolfish doge? He's not turning into a pug, She's
Speaker 4: it's kind of like a dog that runs through the neighborhood.
Speaker 4: It's kind of like like a German shepherd y wolf
Speaker 4: kind of thing. Yeah, not a teacup poodle, not a chiweenie.
Speaker 3: Now, yeah, well, maybe all I should watch that I
Speaker 3: mean I feel like the title sets you up. It
Speaker 3: seems like, oh wow, this is a bold title. The
Speaker 3: movie will be so fun. Yeah, and then if it's not,
Speaker 3: then you're like, well.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I look, I didn't see the substance
Speaker 4: yet because I'm not good with like body horror.
Speaker 3: That's going to be a nightmare for you.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 4: I do have to just do it though at some point,
Speaker 4: because I feel like I'm truly outside the circle, right right,
Speaker 4: But this is like night Bitch is not campy the
Speaker 4: way the substance is camping. It's a little more grounded
Speaker 4: or but it's it's very similar territory in thematic or
Speaker 4: right right. I just have to jump in on the
Speaker 4: substance and just get ready to be grossed.
Speaker 3: Out for an hour and a half, No, over two hours.
Speaker 3: That was my big flint. That was I feel like
Speaker 3: maybe thirty to forty minutes could have been goodbye.
Speaker 4: Well, you have some very strict movie viewing rules. I
Speaker 4: do you walk out? You've actually listened to get ready
Speaker 4: for the Brutalist? Did you see the Brutalist?
Speaker 3: I walked out? Oh I was good. I mean, God,
Speaker 3: bless that movie. They have an intermission.
Speaker 4: God bless that movie.
Speaker 3: This is what I'll say about that movie.
Speaker 4: Might smote that movie.
Speaker 3: This is what I'll say about that movie. I've never
Speaker 3: walked out of a movie during intermission because actually happily
Speaker 3: and seen a line out of the men's room. It's
Speaker 3: I think that speaks as to what that movie is.
Speaker 4: You would think you were at like a weird al concert.
Speaker 4: The way, there's the line at the men's room, just
Speaker 4: like I saw it over at the theater in Burbank,
Speaker 4: which I do not like that. Oh theater. I freak
Speaker 4: out the theater. Everything's wrong with a theater that they
Speaker 4: embody that that theater encapsulates everything. Went to a one
Speaker 4: forty show of the Brutalist. Movie starts a little after
Speaker 4: two with the previews, the break. Now the intermission is
Speaker 4: coming up at like four fifteen. The intermission was very long.
Speaker 4: I went, I went back to get some snacks, went
Speaker 4: to the bathroom, get snacks, go back in. I'm still
Speaker 4: sitting for ten more minutes before the movie starts back up.
Speaker 4: And then it's another like two hours of the movie.
Speaker 4: So now we're talking, it's six twenty.
Speaker 3: You could have traveled across the country exactly.
Speaker 4: You could have flown La to Noork. The same people
Speaker 4: are gonna be watching that movie on planes and not
Speaker 4: getting finished yet.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 4: It's like but and I was just like sitting there
Speaker 4: and I'm just like why is like just why is
Speaker 4: this that this long? Why didn't like nobody told this guy.
Speaker 4: It's just like, well, You're not gonna be that long.
Speaker 4: It's like, I'm thinking it'll be coming up on four hours, Like.
Speaker 3: No, And isn't that hard for him? He has to
Speaker 3: keep watching the movie over and over while he.
Speaker 4: Has to me just like, let's go back to see
Speaker 4: nine hundred and eighty five. I think we could tighten
Speaker 4: it up, or we could probably expand it a little bit.
Speaker 4: It's probably like this scene's moving a little too fast.
Speaker 4: Let's say, don't we have a longer take of this?
Speaker 4: We can put in so long and then people mistake
Speaker 4: things like that for epics.
Speaker 3: Yeah, right, like oh, this is that's just by nature
Speaker 3: because it's too long.
Speaker 4: Yeah, all the greatest movies are long.
Speaker 3: I felt very justified in my leaving during intermission because
Speaker 3: everyone's like, yeah, the second half is not as good
Speaker 3: as the first thing.
Speaker 4: Well that's completely true.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I'm like, okay, So I got a decent
Speaker 3: hour and a half of a movie. I know basically
Speaker 3: what's going on. Yeah, and now I can move on
Speaker 3: with my life. I got to participate as much as
Speaker 3: I needed to it.
Speaker 4: When I first heard you talking about this stuff, I
Speaker 4: was like, this is madness, walking out of a movie
Speaker 4: halfway through. But then as I started to think about it, practically,
Speaker 4: you're claiming your self yes, in this process completely, And
Speaker 4: it was so bold to think of saying no, I've
Speaker 4: had enough, And I was like, no, he's right, you
Speaker 4: can just say I'm done. Thanks, best to look to you.
Speaker 4: I'm not asking for my money back.
Speaker 3: You're reclaiming your life.
Speaker 4: You're reclaiming your life.
Speaker 3: Yes, you're taking the shackles off and saying I'm going
Speaker 3: to do something else with my time.
Speaker 4: I'm very impressed by that.
Speaker 3: It's the only part of my life where I have
Speaker 3: a boundary.
Speaker 4: Wow, and maybe I should get one.
Speaker 3: You take some lesson from this, sure, because it feels incredible.
Speaker 3: I mean it might be detrimental in some way where
Speaker 3: I'm maybe missing some piece of art, but so far
Speaker 3: it's working out pretty well.
Speaker 4: Just assume you're not.
Speaker 3: I mean, we're missing out on all kinds of things
Speaker 3: all the time.
Speaker 4: You've seen enough at this point, right, I've seen movies,
Speaker 4: TV shows, it kind of nowhere it's going. You were,
Speaker 4: you were fine on the brutalist.
Speaker 3: I hope I'm inspiring people to do this.
Speaker 4: I hope you hope, and I hope Hollywood is taking notes.
Speaker 3: Everyone complains constantly about movies being too long. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: just don't understand why more isn't done about that. I
Speaker 3: do know.
Speaker 4: It's a great it's really I think everybody thinks they're
Speaker 4: the exception, right, Like every movies are too long, but
Speaker 4: this needs to be two hours and twenty minutes long.
Speaker 4: Ours does, right, It's especially like like when these dumb
Speaker 4: movies are that long. It's that's like like the idea
Speaker 4: that like those Christopher Nolan Batman movies were like three hours,
Speaker 4: three hours watching a guy run around dress like.
Speaker 3: A bat there's no layers or anything.
Speaker 4: We gotta take. We need three hours to get here.
Speaker 3: Makes no sense, unbelieved, like you're even developing characters.
Speaker 4: Then everybody likes it, so they keep going.
Speaker 3: Yes, of course, of course.
Speaker 4: I think you need to be the face of a movement.
Speaker 3: I think I am.
Speaker 4: We've had enough the one. The one twenty club movie
Speaker 4: shouldn't be two hours. That's it.
Speaker 3: I mean, I think that everyone secretly agrees with that,
Speaker 3: and I do. The more people that do it, the
Speaker 3: more Hollywood will pay attention.
Speaker 4: You need to, but you need to put a face
Speaker 4: on it because they're not noticing. Right, I don't.
Speaker 3: Gonna end up with me just being blacklisted.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, you're going to be run out of the industry.
Speaker 4: David Zaslav is going to hear this and be like,
Speaker 4: do you not put your face and be like a
Speaker 4: shoplifter or at a store you'll be about your picture
Speaker 4: will be behind the counter.
Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean? Speaking of that same thing.
Speaker 3: I almost the same way about a full thirty minute sitcom.
Speaker 4: When sitcoms took the liberty of saying like, no, we're
Speaker 4: going to tell you how long this is, they never
Speaker 4: go the other way where it's like, hey, that one
Speaker 4: was only seventeen minutes. They never if they were going
Speaker 4: both ways, so, hey, this episode, we need thirty two
Speaker 4: minutes to tell the story.
Speaker 3: You need it?
Speaker 4: This one seventeen minutes? Were we got it done? They
Speaker 4: never do less than that twenty three minute thing. Right
Speaker 4: when those arrested development episodes started in and they were
Speaker 4: getting into the pass a thirty minute mark.
Speaker 3: You get to thirty five minutes, I was like.
Speaker 4: Tired, it's exhaust I was actually tired. Yeah, even like
Speaker 4: these supersized Friends episodes, when that was a thing, Like
Speaker 4: Friends is supersized five minutes more too much, too much.
Speaker 4: I didn't need this much Friends.
Speaker 3: Yeah, twenty two to twenty four minutes is lent.
Speaker 4: It's actually more than enough because you could get rid
Speaker 4: of the c story and we could be free stories.
Speaker 4: Probably just like just hang out with them. Friends is
Speaker 4: just like what if we're just in the coffee shop.
Speaker 3: For saying ten minutes like that, we're good. You get
Speaker 3: the ren brands playing the theme song, ten minutes of
Speaker 3: the friends catching up, and we're yeah, calm. Storyline justifies
Speaker 3: beyond twenty two.
Speaker 4: No, absolutely not.
Speaker 3: I do not care. I guess the one exception I'll
Speaker 3: make is Enlightened. You've seen Enlightened, but it's a different thing.
Speaker 4: Enlightened was its own.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's not sitcom, it's not comedy. Yeah, thing it's incredible.
Speaker 4: And Lighten was amazing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but otherwise forget it. Oh okay, Well, now I've
Speaker 3: got a lovely evening of watching Amelia Perez.
Speaker 4: And twice. Don't play the same disc two times, no
Speaker 4: alternate between discs. Yes, it's like differences on Broadway. It's
Speaker 4: like you need to go back and forth.
Speaker 3: Of course, of course, I'm very excited about my evening
Speaker 3: ahead of me. I think it's time to play a game. Okay,
Speaker 3: I think we'll play gift you a curse. I need
Speaker 3: a number between one and ten from you eight.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 3: I have to do some light calculating to get our
Speaker 3: opening back up to Mark Wahlberg Baldings startling. Yes, you
Speaker 3: can do some promoting, recommending, or whatever you want.
Speaker 4: I'll be right back. Okay. Well, my name's Tom. I
Speaker 4: do a show called The Best Show. It's on Tuesdays
Speaker 4: and it's fun. And this is actually the twenty fifth
Speaker 4: anniversary of the Best Show. We've been doing it that long,
Speaker 4: and so it happens. We do it live every Tuesday
Speaker 4: night from three to six pm Pacific, and then it's
Speaker 4: a podcast for everybody to listen to whenever they want
Speaker 4: after that, and I do show called Double Threat with
Speaker 4: Julie Klaus there that comes out every Monday. So check
Speaker 4: them out.
Speaker 3: Beautiful. This is how we play gift or a curse.
Speaker 3: I'm going to name three things. You'll tell me if
Speaker 3: they're a gift or a curse and why, and then
Speaker 3: i'll tell you if you're right or wrong. Okay, you
Speaker 3: can lose the game time, sure, Okay, all right. This
Speaker 3: first one is from a listener named Emily. Gift or
Speaker 3: a curse, Chris, Emily, they're called Croissan witches. But she
Speaker 3: said croissant Croissan. It's nearly impossible to say Croissan witch. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: Croissan witches. No one's ever said that, Emily.
Speaker 4: You know, when you're judging how somebody pronounces something, they're
Speaker 4: really wrong.
Speaker 3: Has anyone ever said crossand witch?
Speaker 4: No, I've never heard that.
Speaker 3: I think Burger King got in there and fix things
Speaker 3: for everybody.
Speaker 4: They tightened it up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, gift or a curse, croissand witches, I would.
Speaker 4: Say, because it's a it's a it's a it's a
Speaker 4: it's a lighter option in the scheme of things, I
Speaker 4: would I would consider that a gift.
Speaker 3: Okay, wrong. I think this is a curse. I think
Speaker 3: this is and this is exactly why I think a
Speaker 3: croissant is a delicious thing that everybody loves but the
Speaker 3: reason you eat a croissant is because of the layers,
Speaker 3: and you know, it's like a flaky pastry, and when
Speaker 3: it turns into a sandwich, you have to squeeze a
Speaker 3: sandwich to eat it, and it becomes you basically ruin
Speaker 3: the croissant. Or you're getting flakes everywhere. That's true, because
Speaker 3: a croissant you kind of have to pull apart.
Speaker 4: You're right.
Speaker 3: And Third, I don't know if i've named two things
Speaker 3: or however you keep going four hundred. Usually it's a
Speaker 3: badly made croissant. Anyway, it's like second thought croissant because
Speaker 3: you're buying it maybe from Burger King.
Speaker 4: No, I can't argue with any of that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's a bad thing, and I would
Speaker 3: rather have a biscuit or a toast for my breakfast sandwich.
Speaker 4: I would agree with both of that. I agree with
Speaker 4: all of it. I think I might have lower standards
Speaker 4: than you, where I would just be like, ah, it's
Speaker 4: some sandwich, let's do it.
Speaker 3: Okay, One wrong so far, big deal. Number two. This
Speaker 3: is from a listener named Jess. Gift to a Curse.
Speaker 3: Suggestive billboards for family friendly businesses.
Speaker 4: Suggestive billboards what would constitute a suggestive billboard.
Speaker 3: I think like some double entendreum, you know, like I
Speaker 3: can't think of one.
Speaker 4: Well, I'm gonna say that's a curse. I still feel
Speaker 4: like I see some of these billboards, like there's a
Speaker 4: do you ever see the Drake the Lawyer billboards? I
Speaker 4: don't think I have the lawyer. His name is like
Speaker 4: Greg Drake or whatever calls himself Drake the lawyer, and
Speaker 4: the billboard has like Kendrick Lamar jokes on them in
Speaker 4: law not like we're not like us. Oh god, that's
Speaker 4: informing this. I'm gonna say that's a curse.
Speaker 3: Oh that's so irritated. Yeah, Kendrick must be furious.
Speaker 4: And it's also just like maybe my lawyer shouldn't be
Speaker 4: trying to be funny. Yeah, it's the lasting good at law,
Speaker 4: Like you're just laughing in the courtroom as you lose
Speaker 4: the case.
Speaker 3: But the thing is you're not laughing because he's not
Speaker 3: actually terrible.
Speaker 4: It's and it's not even funny.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's nothing.
Speaker 4: It's like comedy adjacent.
Speaker 3: Everything now has to be comedy, everything curious.
Speaker 4: It's exhausting.
Speaker 3: You're right, it's it's a total curse. I mean, I
Speaker 3: will say, just at this point in history, we are
Speaker 3: beyond suggestive. What are we even suggesting? We all know what.
Speaker 3: The President of the United States has destroyed any pretense
Speaker 3: of like we're being we're keeping things from each other.
Speaker 4: Nothing. There is no reason for anybody to not say
Speaker 4: whatever it.
Speaker 3: Is absolutely disgusting thing you want.
Speaker 4: You're valid because yeah, so.
Speaker 3: Yeah, fuck you come to our laser tag.
Speaker 4: You know, it's whatever the amount of cursing that has
Speaker 4: look I like cursing. I love cursing, but I don't
Speaker 4: always want to hear it, right We're just like like
Speaker 4: sometimes you hear it, just like I was watching like
Speaker 4: a basketball game, and then like the between things, just like,
Speaker 4: let's get this shit turned up. It's just like you
Speaker 4: need a curse right now? What are we doing? And
Speaker 4: like they bleep out they believe why are recording this?
Speaker 3: Yes, we don't need that. There's a let's save that
Speaker 3: for more fun situations about screaming at other drivers when
Speaker 3: it counts exactly, Yeah, it's bad.
Speaker 4: Curse.
Speaker 3: I just don't like cheeky. I don't like winking, you know,
Speaker 3: I think it's annoying.
Speaker 4: I'm with you completely, Okay.
Speaker 3: Number three, this is a listener named Mark. He suggested
Speaker 3: gift he a curse limited edition items.
Speaker 4: I would say a limited edition item. They can't see
Speaker 4: if it's limited because there's a limited demand on something.
Speaker 4: You're not overproducing something that would be a gift. When
Speaker 4: you're working people up into a frenzy that they're not
Speaker 4: going to be able to get something that they will
Speaker 4: be able to get, but they're getting upset about. When
Speaker 4: you're creating a false need, preying on the weakness of
Speaker 4: somebody who has the extreme collecting mentality. That's a curse.
Speaker 4: But I'm going to say, ultimately.
Speaker 3: Curse correct, it's a curse. I agree with you completely.
Speaker 3: I feel like because it is so often artificial demand,
Speaker 3: you're not going to hold these things back. The only
Speaker 3: time the thing should be limited edition, I think, is
Speaker 3: if it's literally made by hand by one person. If
Speaker 3: it's made in a factory, there's no reason not to
Speaker 3: make as many keep stamping them out when you're trying
Speaker 3: to create lines. I will never stand in a line
Speaker 3: for an item now, so I will just never own
Speaker 3: a limited edition thing unless I find it at goodwill.
Speaker 4: It's and have you ever been to Comic Con?
Speaker 3: I haven't and I don't have any plan.
Speaker 4: Don't do it now, you're right to This is exactly
Speaker 4: the right. They'll do these things. These toy companies will
Speaker 4: be there and be like, oh, we have an incredible
Speaker 4: Hulk figure Comic Con exclusive. It's like he has like
Speaker 4: blue shorts on this one, and there's a line of
Speaker 4: people in a panic of course to not get that thing.
Speaker 4: It's just like, this is just cruel what we're doing here,
Speaker 4: and it's just like it's ending Earth basically, it's like
Speaker 4: we're accelerating the end of Earth. The idea that adults
Speaker 4: are waiting in line to buy a thing for very
Speaker 4: expensive also, so like plastic that has just a different
Speaker 4: color on it. Yes, yeah, it's it's a curse.
Speaker 3: I feel like limited edition collabs were kind of the
Speaker 3: last step and everything falling apart.
Speaker 4: Sure, yeah, exactly. When suddenly it's like, oh, Rihanna's teaming
Speaker 4: up with Tom Sharplin with me, Well, that one might
Speaker 4: be fun, but I.
Speaker 3: Want to see that that's a gift. Now, Okay, Rihanna,
Speaker 3: you have the only you have the power. Rihanna, please
Speaker 3: so be an adult and collab with Tom.
Speaker 4: I have no pull in this one. I do well,
Speaker 4: please thank a listener, take whatever you can get.
Speaker 3: I think she's our secret billionaire listener that I'm occasionally teasing. Yeah,
Speaker 3: Rihanna reach out. Well you got two out of three? Yeah,
Speaker 3: not too bad, not incredible, whatever. This is the final
Speaker 3: segment of the podcast. I said, no, who oh my god,
Speaker 3: right there on a lease. I nearly blew past your segment.
Speaker 5: How dare you.
Speaker 3: Analise has one gift or a curse for both of us. Okay,
Speaker 3: and only they have the correct answer. Okay, what is it, Onalise?
Speaker 3: You're butting in and just controlling the podcast?
Speaker 5: All right, give her a curse? Squirting ketchup on top
Speaker 5: of fries?
Speaker 3: Do you want to go?
Speaker 4: Or should I go?
Speaker 2: There?
Speaker 4: You go first.
Speaker 3: I think squirting ketchup on top of fries is disgusting.
Speaker 3: I think it's completely unnecessary. I don't understand the point
Speaker 3: of that in any way. Actually, it's not saving you
Speaker 3: any time. The only thing it's doing is making the
Speaker 3: French fries soggy while you're eating the rest of your meal.
Speaker 3: I when someone does that, they've just now ruined the
Speaker 3: French fries for me. It's not gravy, No, it's not gravy.
Speaker 4: These not disco fries. You're declaring this is how we're
Speaker 4: eating You're playing this how everyone's eating fries. They're gonna
Speaker 4: have to kind of root through the ketchup to get
Speaker 4: to hold a fry ketchup on your fingers.
Speaker 3: Yes, the ketcher ship would be on the end of
Speaker 3: the French.
Speaker 4: Fry aside and everybody. Everybody's in control of how they
Speaker 4: want to eat French fries. Oh I want to dip mine.
Speaker 4: Oh I don't want to dip mine. Not just this decision,
Speaker 4: Like it's like somebody I've never been in this situation.
Speaker 4: I don't even know what I would do. If somebody's like,
Speaker 4: I'll order for the table, would shoot myself, I'll order
Speaker 4: for the table I'm leaving. Yeah, I'll say that sometimes
Speaker 4: as a joke to people, will be like, I'll order
Speaker 4: for the table. I'll go like six uh, six Cealiberty
Speaker 4: steaks and six hot coffee hot coffee with anything. Is like, well,
Speaker 4: that's the only thing you're allowed to drink is hot coffee,
Speaker 4: And everybody laughs. But somebody actually doing that, and that's
Speaker 4: what this French fry thing is. Yes, it's so, I
Speaker 4: would say, absolutely, it's a curse.
Speaker 3: Yeah, occasionally I want to eat just the fry without
Speaker 3: the ketchup. E. Absolutely, I'm mixing it up during my meal.
Speaker 4: You go, we have a few fries with that ketchup.
Speaker 4: Then you're like, okay, let's live in it up a
Speaker 4: little bit.
Speaker 3: And for some people this is a way of life,
Speaker 3: some people on a liise I hope that.
Speaker 4: What is the.
Speaker 5: Answer, you guys, it's a gift. Oh and here's my reason.
Speaker 5: Here's my reason. When I'm ordering fries, I'm not ordering
Speaker 5: it for the table, I'm ordering for me. What what
Speaker 5: message am I sending when I'm putting the ketchup on
Speaker 5: top of the fries is you're not going to stick
Speaker 5: your grubby hands into my ketchup and my fries.
Speaker 3: Okay, on Aliza, giving it.
Speaker 5: Far far away from you, I am essentially marking my
Speaker 5: territory with the aforementioned ketchup.
Speaker 3: The message you're sending is you don't know how to
Speaker 3: eat French fries, and everyone at the table is wondering
Speaker 3: what's happening over there. Maybe we should take on a
Speaker 3: Lisa's side.
Speaker 4: I fired I feel like you need to bump up
Speaker 4: the class of person you're hanging out with if you
Speaker 4: need to mark your food food like that. Clearly this
Speaker 4: is a comment on your friends, not French fries and ketchup.
Speaker 4: Don't blame anyway for my food.
Speaker 3: What not at least wrong wrong? Okay, this is I
Speaker 3: said no emails, people write, and I said no gifts
Speaker 3: at gmail dot com begging for answers. Will you help
Speaker 3: me answer a question, of course? Okay, this is hello
Speaker 3: Bridger and guest. Firstly, thanks for your podcast and all
Speaker 3: your gift advice so far. Don't mention it. I have
Speaker 3: started to make little things out of clay. It started
Speaker 3: with egg cups, and then when I realized they were
Speaker 3: really flipping hard, I moved on to bulls. So far,
Speaker 3: the bulls I have made have turned out pretty cute,
Speaker 3: perfect for the hipster in your life. But I live alone,
Speaker 3: so I have so I have no one to give
Speaker 3: that listener this email is The syntax is tough. I'm
Speaker 3: having a hard time reading book. You've written me, perfect
Speaker 3: for the hipster in your life, but I live alone,
Speaker 3: so I have no one to give me that look
Speaker 3: that says, oh, bless your heart. These are horrific. Please stop.
Speaker 3: We could have used some periods rather than commas, But
Speaker 3: we're moving on. My question for you is is it
Speaker 3: ever okay to give homemade things as gifts? Let me
Speaker 3: know what you think, Big love, Caroline in Scotland. Okay,
Speaker 3: well maybe Caroline, my apologies. Maybe this is how a
Speaker 3: Scottish email's written and that's okay, But I you know,
Speaker 3: this could have used a little light editing. The big
Speaker 3: question though, is also congratulations on your new hobby, this
Speaker 3: clay thing. Can you give people homemade gifts?
Speaker 4: I would say if there's a if there's a modicum
Speaker 4: of thought behind the homemade thing. You're not just looking
Speaker 4: around your house and saying like like like you have
Speaker 4: an inventory like a stock room of things you made,
Speaker 4: and you're just grabbing a thing for anybody. You're not.
Speaker 4: It should It should have some meaning for the person
Speaker 4: you're giving it to, or something that shows you thought
Speaker 4: about them, You thought.
Speaker 3: That during while they were on you couldn't stop thinking
Speaker 3: if you for them right right? I would go one
Speaker 3: step further and say it needs to be good.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I would agree with that.
Speaker 3: I'm someone who cannot give a homemade like anything, any
Speaker 3: homemade gift would just be a burden for who it
Speaker 3: would be garbage, but it now has guilt tied to
Speaker 3: it because they really can't throw it away. So I've
Speaker 3: given them a useless item that we'll just stay in
Speaker 3: their home forever. Yeah, and it seems like Caroline is
Speaker 3: making junk according to her, even it's trash. So I
Speaker 3: would I feel like, Caroline, keep those at home.
Speaker 4: I don't. She used the word trash in.
Speaker 3: There, she said, so much as trash all the word hipster.
Speaker 3: I read between the lines like fair enough, fair enough, slope, Caroline.
Speaker 3: Some people can give homemade things as gifts. You specifically
Speaker 3: cannot go and buy spend, spend, spend, try buy people
Speaker 3: things that are expensive, and that's the only way you
Speaker 3: can win anyone's love in your life. Otherwise you're going
Speaker 3: to be driving people away.
Speaker 4: Yes, I see what I see your line of reasoning
Speaker 4: with this.
Speaker 3: Have you ever given someone a homemade gift?
Speaker 4: Once in a while, me and my my wife will
Speaker 4: say like, hey, let's just we'll add some homemade components
Speaker 4: to like Christmas, or it'll be like, oh, I made
Speaker 4: you this, Like like I like I made a calendar
Speaker 4: of our dogs.
Speaker 3: Oh sure, yes, of course that's very sweet.
Speaker 4: Something fun that's like But it's very specific for us
Speaker 4: and for our So it's not just like I made.
Speaker 4: I knitted this thing and I'm not good at it,
Speaker 4: but I just I'm just going to give you the
Speaker 4: thing I made. They're very specific, right, that makes sense.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think I've ever given I mean, after
Speaker 3: elementary school, I think it kind of ended as far
Speaker 3: as homemade gifts goes.
Speaker 4: Yeah, somebody's gonna be over in Michael's stockpiling getting your
Speaker 4: raft uh supplies ready.
Speaker 3: I was in Joeanne Fabric the other day, and that
Speaker 3: place is the end of the world. Let go.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, Michael's. If you're going Michael's Crafts, everything is
Speaker 4: fifty percent off. Like you're just like, well, why are
Speaker 4: we pricing It's like, let's make the adjustment.
Speaker 3: Just make the prize. Not fooling anybody.
Speaker 4: It's like a dumb game they're playing where it's like
Speaker 4: this is thirty dollars, but it's fifteen for you.
Speaker 3: If it's always fifty percent off, it's never fifty percent.
Speaker 4: Yeah. It's like when Bad, Bath and Beyond you said those.
Speaker 3: Coupons just lower everything.
Speaker 4: Exactly, It's just lower everything ten percent.
Speaker 3: Look where I led them. They went out of business.
Speaker 4: Yeah, making those coupons.
Speaker 3: Making those coupons, and it feels like that's what's happening
Speaker 3: to Joeanne because it was a bleak situation. They need
Speaker 3: a manager or something and they're mopping. Well, Caroline, don't
Speaker 3: write back in Tom. We answered the question perfectly. I
Speaker 3: now have these delicious cookies. I can't believe the Girls
Speaker 3: Scouts were able to make a modern good cookie. We
Speaker 3: love the Girls Scouts and everyone should buy them, but
Speaker 3: let's be honest, be selective about which product you're buying
Speaker 3: from them. You have to send them a message. You
Speaker 3: vote with your dollar with the girl out out. And
Speaker 3: I've got all of these films, which I will watch
Speaker 3: all of them in order. I've had a lovely time
Speaker 3: with you the best. Thank you for being here, thank
Speaker 3: you for having me listener. The podcast is slowly running
Speaker 3: out of juice. You've been begging for it to be
Speaker 3: over for the last forty five minutes. You walked out
Speaker 3: halfway through, and that's fine, it's over. I love you, goodbye,
Speaker 3: I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. Our
Speaker 3: senior producer is on Alisa Nelson, and our episodes are
Speaker 3: beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by
Speaker 3: miracle Worker Amy Mann and we couldn't do it without
Speaker 3: our booker, Patrick Coottner. You must follow the show on Instagram.
Speaker 3: At I said, no gifts. That's where you're going to
Speaker 3: see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And
Speaker 3: don't you want to see the gifts?
Speaker 1: And I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear.
Speaker 1: When you're a guest to my home, you gotta come
Speaker 1: to me empty. And I said, no guests, you're our presences.
Speaker 1: Presence enough.
Speaker 2: I already had too much stuff, So how did you
Speaker 2: dare to surbey me