Speaker 1: Ba fam, we have another how to throw back for you,
Speaker 1: of course we do. We're looking back at some of
Speaker 1: our favorite episodes from days past for memorable guests, too
Speaker 1: unforgettable moments. There's still so much to learn from the
Speaker 1: b A Vault. Take a listen, willya hey.
Speaker 2: Hey, hey we're back.
Speaker 3: We're black, We're brown, ambit shit yeah, Aum, Tiffany, Hey, guys,
Speaker 3: it's Mandy. Yeah, manage. It feels we're taping like Midday.
Speaker 4: I know, but you know, we've been the rules for
Speaker 4: our friends and we have a very special friend flash
Speaker 4: guest today. Do you want to do the honors to?
Speaker 2: Excited that? Well? She is?
Speaker 3: You might have seen her. She actually her own show
Speaker 3: at one point. I mean you've seen her. I'm shore
Speaker 3: on the Today Show for our news to Robbie, who
Speaker 3: is amazing. Not only is she a stellar financial expert
Speaker 3: and educators, recently, which is so awesome, started doing stand up.
Speaker 2: How randomly cool is that?
Speaker 4: I forgot about that? Yeah, Nush's awesome. I've known news
Speaker 4: for a long time. She's authored I don't know three
Speaker 4: or four different personal finance books. She has a massively
Speaker 4: popular podcast called so Money. The So Money Podcast. She
Speaker 4: was one of the first personal finance influencers, I think,
Speaker 4: to launch a podcast like that, And it's been such
Speaker 4: an amazing, such an amazing journey for her, and I'm
Speaker 4: so excited to have her on the show because one
Speaker 4: of the reasons we've wanted for New Shawn for a
Speaker 4: while is because both of us have been talking a
Speaker 4: lot about, you know, planning our careers and our paths
Speaker 4: to motherhood at the same time and trying to prepare
Speaker 4: as best we can for what lies ahead. And I
Speaker 4: can't I couldn't think of anyone who's who's been more
Speaker 4: candid about becoming a mother and running several businesses than Farnush,
Speaker 4: And I just knew she'd be the perfect person to,
Speaker 4: I don't know, make us feel better about what's going
Speaker 4: on and give some great little pearls of wisdom. On
Speaker 4: top of that, varnushe is never one to stay in
Speaker 4: one place for too long. She just launched a new business,
Speaker 4: a new side project called stax House, which is a
Speaker 4: financial empowerment pop up that she'll talk about on today's
Speaker 4: show as well.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm excited because she's just a fun, all around,
Speaker 3: like dope human being and her kids are super adorable.
Speaker 3: Speaking of motherhood, I spent all morning on the phone.
Speaker 3: So I never had to enroll a kid before, like
Speaker 3: in a school, and I grew up and I don't
Speaker 3: know how it was where you grew up, but you know,
Speaker 3: you just used to be like, oh, I moved to
Speaker 3: the town, and this is the school that's close to
Speaker 3: my house. You enroll your kid in New York. It
Speaker 3: is so different. So I've been getting my my niece,
Speaker 3: well not my niece by blood, but you know, my
Speaker 3: niece by by love.
Speaker 2: So for her mom, who moved here last year to NewYork.
Speaker 2: Last year, she couldn't get her into school school.
Speaker 3: A public school that she wanted because I guess she
Speaker 3: moved like right at the school year kind of time.
Speaker 3: So I understood that because there's like a lottery system.
Speaker 3: But this year she applied extra early. You get to
Speaker 3: choose like four schools. She chose four schools and was
Speaker 3: not matched to any of them. So her mother was
Speaker 3: totally freaking out. So I was like, that seems weird
Speaker 3: and crazy. So I posted it on Facebook, like, hey
Speaker 3: Newark people, how does this work?
Speaker 2: And so isn't that weird?
Speaker 3: Like apparently this is true. You can choose your schools.
Speaker 3: And these are public schools. These are not charter schools,
Speaker 3: these are not these are just regular public schools near
Speaker 3: your house.
Speaker 2: And not get matched. I don't know how you're not
Speaker 2: matched to four.
Speaker 3: So I've been on the phone, honestly, but now I've
Speaker 3: spoken to the CEO of the United Way. I spoken
Speaker 3: to like an executive at the charter school. I spoken
Speaker 3: to a board member at the Newark Board of Education
Speaker 3: because I'm like, no, this is not right, and this
Speaker 3: is not just for my niece, but just in general,
Speaker 3: what is going on? And like, you know, I wonder
Speaker 3: if any parents out there have experienced with like this
Speaker 3: whole lottery system. I'd heard of it before, but I
Speaker 3: didn't realize that it could. You could literally not get matched.
Speaker 4: It's a public school or are they stublic?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: These are straight public, like not sometimes you can have
Speaker 3: like a charter school that's like we're like a public school,
Speaker 3: and it's like, no, this is straight run of the mill.
Speaker 3: I mean, these are good public schools, but they're public
Speaker 3: schools nonetheless. So isn't that crazy that you can literally
Speaker 3: like not get into a public school four of them
Speaker 3: by your house? Yeah?
Speaker 4: Man, New England is no like Northeast is no joke,
Speaker 4: New York, New jert Like the things I've learned about
Speaker 4: public education up here, I makes them want to move
Speaker 4: back to Georgia real quick. When I was growing up, yeah,
Speaker 4: it was just like you were saying, like the total opposite.
Speaker 4: You know, what's your school? Just look, you know, look
Speaker 4: at where you're zoned. You know, you have a choice
Speaker 4: one high school, one middle school, maybe two high schools
Speaker 4: if you're lucky. Yep, and that's it. Like the bus
Speaker 4: picks you up, you go, and there's no choice. It's
Speaker 4: just totally different here. How old is your niece?
Speaker 2: She is eight, she's going to third grade.
Speaker 4: Third grade, so it's like elementary school.
Speaker 2: M hm.
Speaker 3: So I'm just like, excuse me. I was trying to
Speaker 3: meet it and I couldn't press the meat button in time.
Speaker 3: It's okay, but yeah, I just so this is not
Speaker 3: just for her, this is just in general. So I'm
Speaker 3: just trying to figure out. So we've gotten like a solution.
Speaker 3: Apparently it's like some family center place that you can
Speaker 3: go to and opens up the twenty ninth of this
Speaker 3: month and you can go and kind of be like,
Speaker 3: so I.
Speaker 2: Didn't get into these schools. What do I do?
Speaker 3: But the earlier you go, the better, and so that's
Speaker 3: what she's going to do. And then so I just
Speaker 3: you know, and then you you know, you pray for
Speaker 3: the best. I don't because I don't know, it's not guaranteed.
Speaker 3: We can go to this family center place and they're like, yeah, girls,
Speaker 3: so you and everybody else who wants a good school.
Speaker 3: But I mean, I'm hopeful. But it's also just disheartening
Speaker 3: because it's like, so what do you do? Do you
Speaker 3: do you either so it's like one or two choices.
Speaker 3: You either, well three, One you send your kid to
Speaker 3: a school where the kids are failing, which is like what,
Speaker 3: you know, why would a parent want that?
Speaker 2: Two you send your kids to a decent school. But
Speaker 2: it's super far like Nowrark, it's huge, Like we live
Speaker 2: in the Northward. There are great schools in the Southward.
Speaker 3: You're looking at like a twenty minute drive sometimes, you know,
Speaker 3: depending on you're going through traffic and stuff. You know,
Speaker 3: like that's not a small thing to take your third grader,
Speaker 3: you know. And then third choices that you put them
Speaker 3: in private school. And that's what she did last year.
Speaker 3: She put her in a parochial school, but you know,
Speaker 3: it was fairly inexpensive as far as Catholic schools go,
Speaker 3: but it was still money, you know. And she's like,
Speaker 3: we really, we just bought a home. We're trying to
Speaker 3: save spending you know, money every month for private school when.
Speaker 2: We paid taxes.
Speaker 3: We bought a house here, we started a business here,
Speaker 3: we paid taxes here, we went to college here.
Speaker 2: Like I mean, I guess I'm not looking for to
Speaker 2: be overly.
Speaker 3: Accommodated, just accommodated like a like a normal parent should,
Speaker 3: you know. So it's just been an interesting process and
Speaker 3: I'm like, wow, you know, how many parents you know
Speaker 3: don't have the capacity to advocate for their child.
Speaker 2: What do they do?
Speaker 4: You know, that's really disheartening.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I mean I'll give you guys an update.
Speaker 3: You know, by this time next week, I should have
Speaker 3: like an update, so hopefully it all works out. But
Speaker 3: ultimately what I want is that I'm sharing kind of
Speaker 3: like the solutions that people have given me, like on
Speaker 3: my Facebook page, because that's why I posted the question,
Speaker 3: so you know, I mean, because I know she's not
Speaker 3: the only parent, and that was the one request that
Speaker 3: when I get some feedback, share the solutions. And honestly,
Speaker 3: the solution has just been to go to this family's
Speaker 3: center and and just share what's going on, and they're
Speaker 3: supposed to be able to help.
Speaker 2: And so I mean.
Speaker 3: That's literally everybody who I message that's been the same
Speaker 3: feedback from, you know, the the charter school executive, the
Speaker 3: CEO of the United Way, the Board of Education. Remember,
Speaker 3: every single person said the same thing. So I'm like, well,
Speaker 3: let's hope that that's a real solution, you know.
Speaker 4: I mean, just finding it, like daycare is hard enough,
Speaker 4: what then yeah, like paying for you know, paying for
Speaker 4: K through twelve, if you have to send your kid
Speaker 4: to private school, which some parents up to do if
Speaker 4: schools aren't good, and then think about the cost of
Speaker 4: college on top of that.
Speaker 3: It's just yeah, it's just exactly and it's not Honestly, it's
Speaker 3: one of the reasons why, like Newark was under state
Speaker 3: control for like thirty years something crazy. This is the
Speaker 3: first year that they're finally able to manage their own
Speaker 3: schools because New York schools were doing so poorly public
Speaker 3: schools that the state took over, and so it's crawling
Speaker 3: its way out of that, and if they want families
Speaker 3: to move here to Newark, you know, then they have
Speaker 3: to provide a way for them to have access to
Speaker 3: free and fair and good public education or else people
Speaker 3: won't stay here. I know, I won't let me wait
Speaker 3: till super baby gets here. If it's a problem getting
Speaker 3: my baby into like.
Speaker 2: A good school.
Speaker 3: Someone's like, well, girl, you gon have the money to
Speaker 3: go to public private school, And I'm like, well, first
Speaker 3: of all, I grew up in Westfield, which has one
Speaker 3: of the best school systems in the state. My parents
Speaker 3: purposely moved there because they were like, either do we
Speaker 3: pay for private school for five girls or do we
Speaker 3: pay taxes? And they opted for taxes, so you should
Speaker 3: be able to say that. So no, my kids will
Speaker 3: go to public school if it's a good public school.
Speaker 3: I have no problem with that. But they have to
Speaker 3: be available to them. So yeah, you know, this is
Speaker 3: I mean, like I said, this is it's been very
Speaker 3: interesting like this morning, Like, you know, so this is
Speaker 3: what it is to assurance.
Speaker 4: Well, did you on the on the bright side, I
Speaker 4: mean speaking of like the cost of education. So following
Speaker 4: candidates for twenty twenty, because it's never too early to
Speaker 4: think about twenty twenty, Elizabeth Warren, Democratic candidate for the
Speaker 4: nomination presidential nomination. She's released a plan. She's like one
Speaker 4: of the only candidates who's actually releasing policy initiatives. So
Speaker 4: that's what I'm looking at, is candidate's policies. And today
Speaker 4: she came out and rolled out a plan for what
Speaker 4: she would consider. She'd actually considered canceling student loan debt,
Speaker 4: up to fifty thousand dollars of student loan debt for
Speaker 4: forty two million Americans in this new policy planning right,
Speaker 4: and the way she would pay for it is a
Speaker 4: few months ago when she first rolled out her candidacy,
Speaker 4: or a couple months ago, she rolled out a new
Speaker 4: private wealth tax, which would essentially put higher taxes on
Speaker 4: the rich, which we know recent tax reform did nothing,
Speaker 4: you know to that effect. So she would raise taxes
Speaker 4: on the uber wealthy, and then with that increased tax revenue,
Speaker 4: she's talking about passing that on to student loan borrowers
Speaker 4: to help them have up to fifty thousand dollars of
Speaker 4: their student loans, their student loan debt completely eliminated, which
Speaker 4: would just change lives. I mean, talk about starting from behind.
Speaker 4: That would be huge, so huge.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 3: I saw that like pop up in my in my feed,
Speaker 3: and I was like, honestly, that is an amazing idea,
Speaker 3: And yeah, I think I mean that just I don't know,
Speaker 3: Like I look at my mentee's she graduated law school.
Speaker 3: She's now working as a lawyer, but when she first graduated,
Speaker 3: she was like, what am I going to do? My
Speaker 3: student loans are nine hundred dollars a month? And I'm like, what,
Speaker 3: there are a mortgage payment? I don't even you know,
Speaker 3: but I mean, I'm sure there are private loans. I'm
Speaker 3: assuming that, you know, Senator Warren is talking about public loans,
Speaker 3: but still student loans are crippling.
Speaker 4: I wish that was my mortgage payment anyway, property taxes.
Speaker 2: If you live in deep South Jersey or in the South.
Speaker 4: No, but for real. So that was just fascinating to me.
Speaker 4: And you know, especially when you look at stats that
Speaker 4: have shown, you know, everyone was so excited about public
Speaker 4: service loan forgiveness program and how it was meant to
Speaker 4: forgive student loan debt for people who took jobs and
Speaker 4: career paths and nonprofit or government work, only to find
Speaker 4: out that very few people really qualified because there were
Speaker 4: so many asterisks next to the qualification rules, so you know,
Speaker 4: there's the student loan system is still so broken. So
Speaker 4: that's not as I'm looking toward twenty twenty and what
Speaker 4: candidates have to say, like I really want to see
Speaker 4: some actual policies with you know, ways to pay for them.
Speaker 4: And it seems like Lizzie Warren so far has at
Speaker 4: least a plan to pay for such a program. And
Speaker 4: the implications for the economy are just huge, Like if
Speaker 4: it's not just about giving people a free ride, it's
Speaker 4: like with fifty thousand dollars off their back, imagine what
Speaker 4: you could do, you know, qualify for a mortgage or
Speaker 4: what's you know, freaking out because millennials aren't you know,
Speaker 4: getting into the home home. You can start a business, right,
Speaker 4: start a business, maybe not rack up credit card debt
Speaker 4: to finance your life, get out of the rent trap.
Speaker 4: Like there's there's so much opportunity. And when you also
Speaker 4: couple that with like stats on how disproportionate the student
Speaker 4: loan debt crisis impacts communities of color, you know, who
Speaker 4: are we really talking about when we when we say
Speaker 4: who will really benefit it from the duck canslation it
Speaker 4: can be people of color in a big way who
Speaker 4: already or so behind. So that was a bit of
Speaker 4: good news.
Speaker 3: For next week. Don't forget to remind me. I'm like
Speaker 3: I've been Did I tell you that I was looking
Speaker 3: for a new financial planner?
Speaker 4: Yes, ma'am. We talked about that.
Speaker 3: So but I'm gonna i'll give you guys the update
Speaker 3: of like, so I've been interviewing. I think I interviewed
Speaker 3: like I want to say, five or six people last week,
Speaker 3: and I have like two or three more this week.
Speaker 2: So I'll give you a little update. A couple of
Speaker 2: people I was like.
Speaker 3: Yikes, are you sure you know how to budget, let
Speaker 3: alone financially planned?
Speaker 2: But you know, and some people were really awesome and
Speaker 2: some people were really aggressive.
Speaker 3: So I'll give you guys a update once I finished
Speaker 3: all of my a lot of my interviews and just
Speaker 3: you know, share kind of like the process and a
Speaker 3: tool something I created for myself that made the process
Speaker 3: ten times easier, and I'll share it with you guys.
Speaker 2: So just putting it, putting that out there before a
Speaker 2: niche comes on.
Speaker 4: All right, very excited to hear who you pick. So
Speaker 4: all right, well, let's take a quick break and we'll
Speaker 4: be right back with personal finance Guru, podcaster, entrepreneur, business owner,
Speaker 4: mom preneur, just all. Whatever the accolades are, she's got them.
Speaker 4: For a new to Rabbi, come back and join us. Okay, guys,
Speaker 4: we are back as promised with for News to Rabbi,
Speaker 4: personal finance guru and recently co founder of stax House.
Speaker 5: We're calling it a pop up with a purpose, so,
Speaker 5: you know, taking a page out of the success of
Speaker 5: all these other pop ups like Museum of ice Cream,
Speaker 5: Museum of Pizza, Color Factory, twenty nine rooms, we want
Speaker 5: to be as successful as them. There's a cultural relevance
Speaker 5: and a cultural excitement around pop ups, but we wanted
Speaker 5: to bring forth also a bit of purpose, and that
Speaker 5: purpose is to empower women as they go through the experience,
Speaker 5: to open about their money, to feel like it's not
Speaker 5: taboo that they can actually you know, take control of
Speaker 5: their financial lives. And we know that there are many
Speaker 5: solutions to this problem. We don't claim to be you know,
Speaker 5: the pop up's not going to solve all the world's
Speaker 5: financial problems, but we thought that, you know, with all
Speaker 5: the content that already exists in the world, of personal finance,
Speaker 5: your great podcast books, you know courses that what was
Speaker 5: kind of missing was this essential experience.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you guys should check out www dot Stexhouse dot
Speaker 4: com to buy tickets for sex House. Now let's talk
Speaker 4: about the social media moments, because this is all about
Speaker 4: financial empowerment. But we all love a good Instagram moment.
Speaker 4: And all I'm seeing is the mechanical piggybank. Yeah, and
Speaker 4: I need to know more. Does it travel? Will it
Speaker 4: be traveling to future?
Speaker 5: Toward panical baby? And the piggy bank really is meant
Speaker 5: to and the ride is meant to illustrate bring to
Speaker 5: life the movements of the market, the fact that the
Speaker 5: market can be unpredictable, up down, sideways, round and round.
Speaker 5: We found that something like eighty six percent of women
Speaker 5: have said that they have yet to get paid back
Speaker 5: for a small purchase amongst friends. Whether that's like I
Speaker 5: got you, I shared in Uber with you last night
Speaker 5: and I paid for it, or I got dinner last night,
Speaker 5: they're still waiting for that payment. Yeah. So we were like,
Speaker 5: as something as small as that to as we know,
Speaker 5: like asking for a raise, we have this real trepidation
Speaker 5: around talking about money and asking for what we want.
Speaker 5: So that room has these beautiful illuminated installations ons, this
Speaker 5: massive cake that represents a celebratory occasion in your life.
Speaker 5: Another is an actual house that you can walk in,
Speaker 5: which represents like you know, living in a home that
Speaker 5: a shaving that milestone. And in all of these experiences
Speaker 5: or life moments, how to speak up and ask for
Speaker 5: money because like with birthdays and stuff, we get a
Speaker 5: ton of gifts that we never use, So why don't
Speaker 5: you ask for money instead, or you know, when you
Speaker 5: have a roommate and you're living with your roommate, making
Speaker 5: sure that you're talking about splitting the bills and having
Speaker 5: that important conversation. So that room is you'll see that
Speaker 5: all over Instagram, this giant cake or the home that
Speaker 5: we have in this huge like also this one room
Speaker 5: that this one part of the room that is this
Speaker 5: floral like decor that looks like a travel destination. That's
Speaker 5: also a life moment. We want to encourage women to
Speaker 5: travel and experience travel, but to do it responsibly, splitting
Speaker 5: the bill with friends and how to have those conversations.
Speaker 5: We also have a stack salon, which is a retrofitted
Speaker 5: salon that looks like kind of like out of you know,
Speaker 5: still Magnolia's or something, And in that room, it's really
Speaker 5: about creating this relaxing backdrop to then talk about negotiating
Speaker 5: and asking for your worth. So we've got excerpts from
Speaker 5: my podcast playing with people from like Susie Orman and
Speaker 5: Ariana Huffington talking about how to earn your worth. We
Speaker 5: have a Stax she Stacks magazine. She Sacks as our
Speaker 5: parent company, so we have a whole magazine in there
Speaker 5: that has articles around how to negotiate and you know,
Speaker 5: how to turn your side hustle into a full time gig.
Speaker 5: And then we have in every room. I forgot to
Speaker 5: mention this. In every room, we have these electronic beacons
Speaker 5: that we call them beacons. There are these tall vertical
Speaker 5: stations that are driven by iPads that are a lot
Speaker 5: of them are pop quizzes or they're asking you for
Speaker 5: more information about yourself so that we can give you
Speaker 5: more catered advice. So that's where we're trying to sprinkle
Speaker 5: in the literacy throughout the experience. It was a balance, right,
Speaker 5: so it's not this heavy handed, you know, textbook financial experience.
Speaker 5: I thought that would be a little weird frankly, but
Speaker 5: to the extent that we thought it was you know,
Speaker 5: fun and appropriate and well tied into the room. We
Speaker 5: have these moments where you can learn about money, but
Speaker 5: we also hope to have like money schools, really good
Speaker 5: conversations around closing the wealth gap, you know how the
Speaker 5: different sort of unique financial circumstances that affect people that
Speaker 5: are like women of color or modualized groups. Groups Like
Speaker 5: how we can you know, create better advice or tools
Speaker 5: or what are the systemic issues that we can address,
Speaker 5: because you know, again, sax House in and of itself
Speaker 5: is a great experience, but we really want to take
Speaker 5: it to the next level through conversation and we have
Speaker 5: a dedicated space in sax House for those things. So
Speaker 5: if you two want to come and ho do a
Speaker 5: live podcast from sax House, we would totally invite you
Speaker 5: to come. I think that would be fun and yeah,
Speaker 5: so if maybe that's how I get you guys to
Speaker 5: come come take your show on the road, I'll.
Speaker 1: Take it.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 4: Our other motivation for having you on Farniche was just
Speaker 4: to talk to you because you wrote this amazing article
Speaker 4: in Refinary twenty nine about what it's like to be
Speaker 4: a successful mom and an entrepreneur. So let's let's jump
Speaker 4: into that. I mean, Tiffany, I know you have questions here.
Speaker 3: Yes, and so I just wanted to ask, like, you know,
Speaker 3: with all that you do, if you guys don't know,
Speaker 3: you know, we talked a little bit about Fernution kind
Speaker 3: of like what she does, and you've probably seen her
Speaker 3: on TV and she's got her podcast, she's got this
Speaker 3: new this new venture.
Speaker 2: How are you able because as I we.
Speaker 3: Talked offline that you know, I'm trying to start a
Speaker 3: family with Superman, and I am a little nervous.
Speaker 2: I mean, we have a bonus daughter. But she's twelve,
Speaker 2: and you know, a twelve year old girl is like
Speaker 2: a it's like a forty year old man.
Speaker 3: I mean she's you know, fully, she's like I mean
Speaker 3: since she was eight. I mean, she didn't need you know,
Speaker 3: she doesn't need much to make her own breakfasts mixed
Speaker 3: and you know, we hang out, you know, staples like
Speaker 3: I do. So it's not a heavy lift when she
Speaker 3: gets when you get to that age, you know, Plus
Speaker 3: her mom is awesome, so it's only fifty percent of
Speaker 3: the responsibility. But how you know, how do you manage
Speaker 3: with little ones and doing all that you're doing well.
Speaker 5: I will just say this that I had the same
Speaker 5: concerns and before I had kids, you know, I was like,
Speaker 5: how do these people do it? It gets done okay?
Speaker 5: But I think that you know, just I don't know
Speaker 5: you that well, but I feel like I'm already understanding
Speaker 5: that you have some really important kind of foundations in
Speaker 5: your relationship, in your work, in your mindset too. It's
Speaker 5: so important before you become a mom, a working mom,
Speaker 5: that you have a few things like sort of quote
Speaker 5: unquote figured out or at least you know that you're
Speaker 5: aware of the needs. And one is that it sounds
Speaker 5: like you have an amazing partner or superman. I mean
Speaker 5: his name is Superman. I mean that's pretty that's pretty
Speaker 5: self explanatory. So important. I don't know how single moms
Speaker 5: do it. I think that if you were a single mom,
Speaker 5: I would be beside myself. I'd say, I don't know
Speaker 5: how you do it, because I know like in my life, yes,
Speaker 5: I'm married to a great man and he helps me
Speaker 5: and supports us. But it's also like having a nanny
Speaker 5: and having friends who I can call and say, hey,
Speaker 5: can I you know, can you watch my kid for
Speaker 5: you know, the afternoon because I'm running late. So having
Speaker 5: a support system is really important. Knowing who your people
Speaker 5: are going to be is vital. So outside of even
Speaker 5: just your nuclear family, you know, are there neighbors, relatives, friends,
Speaker 5: You're gonna calling them all the time, but you'll be
Speaker 5: really happy to be able to access and leverage them
Speaker 5: in times of need. Having someone who can take care
Speaker 5: of your child, like a nanny or a really great
Speaker 5: daycare or preschool that you love and trust is really
Speaker 5: important too. That's part of the how you do it,
Speaker 5: and you might not get it right the first time,
Speaker 5: you know. I know a lot of people who hire
Speaker 5: caretakers and it doesn't work out, So that's okay. It's
Speaker 5: just know that that's part of the process sometimes because
Speaker 5: as a new parent, like sometimes you just don't know
Speaker 5: what you need. And so the I guess the elephant
Speaker 5: in the room here is that to be able to
Speaker 5: have all these things, you need money. And I think
Speaker 5: that it is much harder when you don't have savings
Speaker 5: or steady income before you have kids. We know this,
Speaker 5: but it's I wrote about this for Refinery twenty nine
Speaker 5: that even in my twenties when I was far from
Speaker 5: having kids. I had kids in my mid thirties. I
Speaker 5: already could tell that having kids in New York City,
Speaker 5: in particular at Tritate area, is expensive if you want
Speaker 5: to continue working, Like it's kind of ironic, like you
Speaker 5: have to be able to afford your You have to
Speaker 5: work to be able to afford having kids, which is
Speaker 5: you know, and you have to have to have a
Speaker 5: good job and a good paying job to be able
Speaker 5: to sometimes afford some of the basics. So making sure
Speaker 5: that you're financially set up is vital and preparing for
Speaker 5: things like childcare. But I think also what I'm sensing
Speaker 5: from your question is like the management of it, you know,
Speaker 5: because you're busy, you're running off, you're doing speeches, you're
Speaker 5: traveling the country, you've got TV and like all your work.
Speaker 5: But I think that one of the beauties that happens
Speaker 5: when you have kids is that your framework completely changes.
Speaker 5: But it's okay, it's what you've wanted. And I realized
Speaker 5: that when I had kids, my first son, there were
Speaker 5: limitations as far as what I could do, Like I
Speaker 5: couldn't just drop and go to California, you know, because
Speaker 5: some random television production company was calling, and maybe before
Speaker 5: I had kids i'd be able to, but you know,
Speaker 5: it was I had limitations. I started my podcast as
Speaker 5: soon as I had a kid because of the benefits
Speaker 5: of how that worked with my new life as a mom.
Speaker 5: So a podcast I can do from home. It's something
Speaker 5: that still allows me to connect to all the women
Speaker 5: and all the men that I want to connect with.
Speaker 5: It's monetizable, and it's like it doesn't require me to
Speaker 5: like get dressed up, you know, and put on makeup.
Speaker 5: You know, before I had kids, I was doing a
Speaker 5: TV show and like a lot of videos which required
Speaker 5: me a lot of time and also like getting ready
Speaker 5: and all the whole makeup and hair thing. Like I
Speaker 5: wanted to kind of tone that down, and I was
Speaker 5: looking forward to it. And you know, you're not going
Speaker 5: to be able to know everything that's going to happen.
Speaker 5: But for somehow, like having kids makes you a lot
Speaker 5: more decisive around what it is you want to do
Speaker 5: and what is you can do. And here's the thing,
Speaker 5: Like you've been working so hard all your career that
Speaker 5: you have now arrived at a place where now that
Speaker 5: you want to become a parent, you can afford to
Speaker 5: say no to things, and then the ramifications are going
Speaker 5: to be dire for you, right like you saying no
Speaker 5: to certain things versus you saying no ten years ago
Speaker 5: to those certain things, whole different consequence. You're not going
Speaker 5: to want to say yes to everything. I wrote an
Speaker 5: article for money one time that since becoming a mom,
Speaker 5: my income doubled, and I think it's because I got really,
Speaker 5: really acutely aware of the things that were important to me.
Speaker 5: I got really clear on my framework and like how
Speaker 5: I work, Like I don't go on business trips that
Speaker 5: require me out of the house for two or three
Speaker 5: more nights unless you know, I just got back from
Speaker 5: LA for a week. That's a unique circumstance. But you know,
Speaker 5: I used to just do things sometimes for free. Never again.
Speaker 5: And if it's going to if they're gonna want me
Speaker 5: to travel, then they have to, you know, make sure
Speaker 5: that they get me back here within forty eight hours,
Speaker 5: that the travel is accommodating, that that there's money involved.
Speaker 5: I've become really good at negotiating asking for my worth
Speaker 5: since I became a parent. And so say that I
Speaker 5: think you're going to be fine. I think that you're
Speaker 5: going to be more than fine. You know, you have
Speaker 5: the support system, you have the income, you're driven, you
Speaker 5: know who you are. You're gonna be a great role
Speaker 5: model for your kids too, Like I can't wait for
Speaker 5: you to be a parent.
Speaker 3: What if I'm like I think about stuff like what
Speaker 3: if I'm like, I don't want to do the budgetesta anywhere.
Speaker 3: I mean, one of the things I did ahead of
Speaker 3: time is that I started an online school for that
Speaker 3: very same reason. And I was like, if I never
Speaker 3: spoke again on the stage, what you know, what does
Speaker 3: that look like? And so I said, well, I need
Speaker 3: income to still come in. And so my online school
Speaker 3: does really really well, and it's like it probably makes
Speaker 3: about I want to say, like four or five times
Speaker 3: what me speaking and books and stuff as the budget
Speaker 3: needs to make so as far as.
Speaker 2: It can come, you know.
Speaker 3: The only thing is like it's like I have people
Speaker 3: that are hired via the Budgetista, but even then we
Speaker 3: have some ideas in place of like how the BUDGETIESSA
Speaker 3: can make money without the budgetisa me. You know, yeah,
Speaker 3: so it can you know, keep that business running. So
Speaker 3: I'm not worried so much about the financial component, I
Speaker 3: guess more so, like you know, just it's a lot emotionally.
Speaker 3: I mean when I babysit my I used to ask
Speaker 3: my sister, like, hey, you know you didn't reply to
Speaker 3: my tax or did you get that email I sent you?
Speaker 3: And she'd be like, girl, the kids are up, And
Speaker 3: I'm like, what does that mean? Until I babysat and
Speaker 3: I was like, how do you even go to the bathroom?
Speaker 5: Well, she does it sometimes and sometimes it's Thursday and
Speaker 5: she realized she hasn't taken a shower since Monday. And
Speaker 5: I think it's important for parents to be a lot
Speaker 5: more transparent about the realities of raising a kid. So,
Speaker 5: you know, my in starting sax House, I'm the only
Speaker 5: mom in the company, and you know, I don't want
Speaker 5: to always like use my family as an excuse, but
Speaker 5: the reality is is like I can't do four hour
Speaker 5: meetings on the weekends. Sorry, ladies, you know, like my
Speaker 5: life is just not there. I can't and maybe I could,
Speaker 5: but I don't want to. I don't want to be
Speaker 5: that kind of parent that's away from her family on
Speaker 5: the weekends for four hours. If I can, if there's
Speaker 5: another way to do it, let's do it. So I'm
Speaker 5: really vocal about the fact that, you know, as a mom,
Speaker 5: there's just some non negotiables for me, like I'm going
Speaker 5: to give you all this time, but then I need
Speaker 5: other times to do to be a mom, you know,
Speaker 5: and to be with my family. And I'm not apologetic
Speaker 5: about that. And I think that, you know, there's that
Speaker 5: saying where we want women to work like they don't
Speaker 5: have a family, and have a family like they don't
Speaker 5: have work, And I think that that needs to stop.
Speaker 5: And I think people used to be afraid, like I
Speaker 5: used to be a little bit more timid about being
Speaker 5: saying like, well, I can't you know, I've to be
Speaker 5: home by five because my nanny leaves then. And now
Speaker 5: I'm just like sorry, five o'clock is my witching hour.
Speaker 5: It's when my nanny leaves and I have to be
Speaker 5: at home and I'm literally out of commission for at
Speaker 5: least half an hour because my kids are climbing my
Speaker 5: body for thirty minutes. And that's just the reality. Like
Speaker 5: I don't know, I'm not going to dance around it.
Speaker 5: That's just it is what it is. And I'm so
Speaker 5: I feel so fortunate to be able to have that life.
Speaker 3: I get to bring that to the women that work
Speaker 3: with me. It's largely I would say it's we're like
Speaker 3: ninety women, and of the women, I would say, you know,
Speaker 3: more than half our moms, and of those moms, more
Speaker 3: than you know sixty percent of those moms are our
Speaker 3: mothers of young.
Speaker 2: Children, like you know, one, two, three, four, And so we.
Speaker 3: Make it I really make it a point to make
Speaker 3: the environment in that because we all work digitally, that
Speaker 3: they set their own schedule. There is no you know,
Speaker 3: like your family comes first, second and third. If we're
Speaker 3: having like my my CFO, Rachel, she's amazing, She's got
Speaker 3: a Manny. I think her son is three or four
Speaker 3: and amani her daughter is like one or two. And
Speaker 3: so sometimes you know, Rachel is like diving deep into
Speaker 3: the numbers and Manny is like on the video chat
Speaker 3: like hey miss seven a, you know, just like chilling,
Speaker 3: and I'm like bring him, you know, because I want you,
Speaker 3: like you shouldn't hide that part of yourself, your mom
Speaker 3: and your mom who's just a killer CFO. But you're
Speaker 3: still a mom.
Speaker 2: And sometimes we have meetings and she's like you might
Speaker 2: hear the kids. We're at the park. I'm pushing them
Speaker 2: on the swing and I'm like, look, that's fine by me.
Speaker 3: I mean they you know, It's just I wish more
Speaker 3: there was more of an environment of that. The great
Speaker 3: thing is I do have a really great support system.
Speaker 3: My husband is awesome, and my team they're all they
Speaker 3: all know that I'm working on having a kid, and
Speaker 3: like I said, they have been awesome of like what
Speaker 3: can we do that? They literally have like operation Tiffany's baby,
Speaker 3: you know, and so they're like, you know, so I'm fortunate.
Speaker 3: But it's like, yeah, So I guess it's more so
Speaker 3: the nerves of like I'm one of five girls.
Speaker 2: I don't know how my mother did it, one of
Speaker 2: five girls.
Speaker 5: Any of our mothers do it?
Speaker 3: Honestly, I don't know. I'm like, so you went to school,
Speaker 3: you worked, you raised them. I just I just don't.
Speaker 3: I could barely take care of myself, I feel like
Speaker 3: half the time. So I guess it's just a nervousness
Speaker 3: of the emotional component of how to manage. Because, for example,
Speaker 3: my publicist Drina, she's got a young son, and I
Speaker 3: remember the first year or two which she would travel
Speaker 3: with me to say if I was like shooting something
Speaker 3: in La and she would travel with me she'd be
Speaker 3: at the airport in hysteria, you know, and I'm like,
Speaker 3: what happens.
Speaker 2: She's like, I love the baby, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: I was like it was so hard.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's not as hard now, but it's still
Speaker 3: really hard for her to travel and leave. So I
Speaker 3: guess that's just a component. I guess she just never
Speaker 3: quite get over that. And like you said, making sure
Speaker 3: that when you do work that you're not gone as
Speaker 3: long you know, well well, and I would.
Speaker 5: Just say, you know, there's this real push in our
Speaker 5: society to get women back to work sooner than later,
Speaker 5: and women, I think we also have that pressure on
Speaker 5: it ourselves, like I don't want to miss out. I
Speaker 5: need to go back to work, but to really if
Speaker 5: there's one advice I would give you, is like after
Speaker 5: you have your baby, to just give yourself permission to
Speaker 5: feel however you want to feel, and to act however
Speaker 5: you want to act, and not to feel like you
Speaker 5: have to follow a script or some sort of timeline
Speaker 5: to get back to work really quickly, Like your body
Speaker 5: needs to heal, your mind needs to get refocused. Some
Speaker 5: people call it like the fifth the fourth tri master.
Speaker 5: You know where you've had your baby, but you're still
Speaker 5: you know, you're not a hundred, you're not yourself again.
Speaker 5: You know yet you're a different person. You're a different person.
Speaker 5: You're not a lesser person or or you know, you're
Speaker 5: just different. And so people sometimes don't give us the
Speaker 5: required sort of space and attention and support in those
Speaker 5: vital you know, months following birth, I member my doctor.
Speaker 5: She said to me, I don't want your I want
Speaker 5: you to have your feet up for at least a week.
Speaker 5: I don't want you like and I couldn't help myself.
Speaker 5: I wanted to clean, I wanted to, like hold the
Speaker 5: baby a lot, I wanted to walk around. And that's
Speaker 5: you know, everyone's going to be different. But if you're
Speaker 5: feeling like you need to slow down, slow it down,
Speaker 5: you know you've earned it for new.
Speaker 4: So I have to ask you about this one piece,
Speaker 4: this one piece of advice you gave in that in
Speaker 4: that story, which resonated with me and all. Since I'm
Speaker 4: talking about it so much, I'll post a link to
Speaker 4: that Refinery twenty nine column because it was so excellent. So.
Speaker 4: I have a girlfriend who decided after having a child
Speaker 4: that the job she was at she was unhappy before
Speaker 4: she had the kid, and something about having a kid
Speaker 4: as an option to hang out with versus being at
Speaker 4: a job you hate just pushed her over the edge.
Speaker 4: And she actually ends up believing that job and took
Speaker 4: several months off and then started at home consultancy business.
Speaker 4: And then you're in that post and you talk about
Speaker 4: when if you decide to leave the workforce, you really
Speaker 4: encourage and I don't want to put words in your mouth,
Speaker 4: so correct me if I'm wrong or misinterpreting, but encourage
Speaker 4: women to get back, like take time off. He'll be
Speaker 4: with your family, but get back to being in the
Speaker 4: workforce or at least in some way or shape, one form,
Speaker 4: shape or another, earning wealth for yourself. Can you talk
Speaker 4: about that?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think that the foundation of that is just
Speaker 5: that I want women to be financially independent, right, So
Speaker 5: you know this idea that I'm just never going to
Speaker 5: work again, that really frightens me, truly. I mean, unless
Speaker 5: you have wealth coming in from an inheritance or just
Speaker 5: you were independently wealthy, or you just saved a whole
Speaker 5: ton of money before you had a kid, and I
Speaker 5: do if I just you know, at the core of
Speaker 5: everything that I talk about and teach and feel about
Speaker 5: women in finance. Is just that women need their own
Speaker 5: financial independence. And I know that after you have a
Speaker 5: kid and your you know, mom and all, you know,
Speaker 5: it's not possible to always be in the workforce, but
Speaker 5: to always have part of your brain thinking about your
Speaker 5: re entry. And it may not look like the career
Speaker 5: you had before having children, and it doesn't mean it
Speaker 5: has to. But thinking about your own financial solvency as
Speaker 5: a woman who now happens to also be a mother
Speaker 5: is worth thinking about and is worth strategizing around. And
Speaker 5: for everyone's gonna happen at a different pace. So I'm
Speaker 5: not saying like it has to happen right away, but
Speaker 5: it is. I don't want that part of them, that thinking,
Speaker 5: that that sort of strategizing in your head to go away,
Speaker 5: because I think that it happens for a lot of
Speaker 5: mothers and dads too for that matter. A lot of
Speaker 5: more fathers are becoming stay at home parents, and you know, well,
Speaker 5: I have some pretty I guess, maybe controversial perspectives on
Speaker 5: stay at home parenting. I think it just stems from, like,
Speaker 5: I just want everyone to have financial peace and independence,
Speaker 5: and you can't have it if you're not making any money,
Speaker 5: and I don't want kids to be an interruption to that.
Speaker 5: I think that kids are going to be sort of
Speaker 5: in some ways like a shift in your path and
Speaker 5: a good one. But like to always, I just, I just,
Speaker 5: I just guess it comes from a place of advocacy
Speaker 5: for women. You know, I really want them to think
Speaker 5: about how they can continue to make money.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And just to
Speaker 4: close that story out, I'm so proud of her because
Speaker 4: you know, she's had two kids since leaving her job. Well,
Speaker 4: she had the one kid and then had a second
Speaker 4: kid in December, and recently, they know, she started her
Speaker 4: at home business and her previous employer called her up
Speaker 4: because they were looking to fill a position. They actually
Speaker 4: let go of the manager that was making it really
Speaker 4: difficult for my friend to work there, and they just
Speaker 4: hired her back. And she negotiated her a promotion and
Speaker 4: a big fat raise and all the things that sort
Speaker 4: of frustrated her about the job before, you know, no
Speaker 4: telecommuting privileges, that kind of thing. She was able to
Speaker 4: get that flexibility when they rehired her. So I'm super proud,
Speaker 4: amazing and like she did it her own way.
Speaker 5: I've heard a lot of anecdotal anecdotal feedback that like
Speaker 5: employers love hiring mothers because they get they get it
Speaker 5: done well.
Speaker 4: We could talk to you all day. We're so grateful
Speaker 4: to have you on the show for our new things,
Speaker 4: for joining Usank
Speaker 5: You so much and I'll come back any time.