1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:04,280 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vanderkam. I'm a mother of four, 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:08,479 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah hart Hunger. 3 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:11,799 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, practicing physician and blogger. On 4 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: the side, we are two working parents who love our 5 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 1: careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:33,159 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:36,760 Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode seventy two. Today we're 11 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 1: going to be talking about our money stories, always something 12 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,400 Speaker 1: that people are thinking about around the holiday finances and 13 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 1: end of year, sort of reckoning of how the year 14 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:50,239 Speaker 1: has gone, thinking about the next year as well. So 15 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:55,240 Speaker 1: this is you know, post Hanikah, right before Christmas, Right, Sarah, 16 00:00:55,480 --> 00:01:00,480 Speaker 1: what are the dates this year? Hanikah begins on December second. Yeah, okay, 17 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:03,240 Speaker 1: we began. I guess as we're talking about it, the 18 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:08,000 Speaker 1: past tense herenic is actually over by the time, so 19 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:10,440 Speaker 1: I hope it went well. As we're recording this, we're 20 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 1: both in shopping mode, which maybe one reason we're thinking 21 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:18,040 Speaker 1: about my So what did you guys decide to do? 22 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 1: What's on the we Honestly, I didn't have a lot 23 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 1: of I keep using the word bandwidth with josh Oh 24 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:26,080 Speaker 1: like I still have the bandwidth for that. I didn't 25 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,360 Speaker 1: have a lot of bandwidth for for Hanukah this year, 26 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:31,360 Speaker 1: and I kind of put him in charge to some extent. 27 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:34,240 Speaker 1: We did a very minimal gift summit last night where 28 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:38,040 Speaker 1: we just sort of decided which big things we want 29 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:42,240 Speaker 1: to order, and he had actually already purchased bikes for 30 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,840 Speaker 1: Annabel and Cameron, which is definitely the, you know, the 31 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:47,800 Speaker 1: big ticket item of the year. Annabel had asked for 32 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,360 Speaker 1: roller skates, so we just got that for both kids 33 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,080 Speaker 1: as well. Now, I know it seems a little crazy 34 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:53,440 Speaker 1: in most parts of the country, it's like why are 35 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:55,960 Speaker 1: you buying this stuff now? But actually for us, this 36 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,800 Speaker 1: is our outdoor time. Outdoor season is like the best 37 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:01,720 Speaker 1: from now until Mayor's so it actually makes sense to 38 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:05,000 Speaker 1: buy those kinds of things. And then I think we're 39 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 1: going to do winter coats one day because we're going 40 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,800 Speaker 1: up north and we had to buy them anyway. And 41 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 1: if we get ones that they'll like, that counts and 42 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 1: then we're going to fill in a lot of family 43 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,840 Speaker 1: gifts and friend gifts and yeah, so I'd say we're 44 00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 1: keeping it fairly minimal, in part out of laziness, in 45 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:23,840 Speaker 1: part because we don't have a lot of space, and 46 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,320 Speaker 1: in part because we as we're moving, we realize our 47 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 1: kids have so much stuff and they're just always getting more. 48 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:33,320 Speaker 1: And birthday seasons come quickly after Hankah for us in 49 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:37,120 Speaker 1: February and then April. So just not trying to go 50 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:39,400 Speaker 1: too crazy. What about you guys, Well, I say, Genevieve 51 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:42,560 Speaker 1: like overlaps with Hanaka. Oh yeah, well and this year 52 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 1: Genevieve right in the middle of it. J Deeviev is 53 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:49,079 Speaker 1: not getting like dedicated Hanukah gifts because she doesn't know. 54 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:53,240 Speaker 1: Well that's true, she does not know. And you get 55 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:57,840 Speaker 1: the big what day do you get the big gift? On? No? 56 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 1: Sometimes the first I think we'll probably I may use 57 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,160 Speaker 1: is this bad If I'm like, I'll tell the kids like, 58 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:08,760 Speaker 1: if you're really good, you know, I may use it 59 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,960 Speaker 1: as a bribery tactic for them to get their biggest gift, 60 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:14,320 Speaker 1: which I think they suspect what it is. Or I 61 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,959 Speaker 1: may try to time it with a weekend because that 62 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 1: will give them the most time to use it. Since 63 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:19,480 Speaker 1: there's true I think the bike is the kind of 64 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:21,440 Speaker 1: thing you want to open like on the Friday night, right, 65 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,560 Speaker 1: and then yes, yeah, that would make sense they can 66 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,960 Speaker 1: play it all weekend. Yeah, So did you like take 67 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 1: advantage of Black Friday sales? How did you? Or did 68 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:31,239 Speaker 1: you know you plan farther ahead than that? Don't you? Not? Really? 69 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 1: I have gotten I did get a fair number of 70 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 1: things relatively early, just you know, sitting there over Thanksgiving 71 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,760 Speaker 1: weekend and making a list in my planner, which is 72 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 1: just the notebook from Target, because that's how I am, 73 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:48,920 Speaker 1: but I have everyone's names on it, and then try 74 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 1: to figure out what what am I getting? What have 75 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 1: I already gotten? Just try to keep it relatively similar 76 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:59,640 Speaker 1: in terms of people's happiness levels with what they're getting, 77 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 1: you know, sort of size under the tree for the 78 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 1: children who are into physical size of gifts. You know, 79 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:11,320 Speaker 1: the older too definitely understand more that certain things are 80 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:16,800 Speaker 1: expensive versus other things, and so they're okay with smaller 81 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:19,800 Speaker 1: gifts not being quite as big under the tree or 82 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 1: from Santa. But yeah, it's it's a kind of all 83 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:27,560 Speaker 1: this triaging of stuff. I would prefer not to be 84 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:31,040 Speaker 1: at the end like buying stuff randomly to make it 85 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:33,240 Speaker 1: even like I want to get the stuff that they 86 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 1: like and not get a whole lot of stuff that 87 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:36,599 Speaker 1: they don't care as much about. I would like to 88 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:41,159 Speaker 1: have it be a more mindful, thoughtful experience this year 89 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:44,160 Speaker 1: than it has been for some years in the past. 90 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:47,080 Speaker 1: But we shall see. I mean it's already tough, like 91 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:51,080 Speaker 1: the I took Alex shopping with me at Barnes and Noble, 92 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,000 Speaker 1: and he wanted everything, and he was pulling everything out 93 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,720 Speaker 1: and I wound up having to get him something small 94 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 1: because I was shopping for his siblings that he you know, 95 00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,600 Speaker 1: opened anyway. And then he's trying to find where their 96 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 1: presence are because he wants to know where they are 97 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 1: hidden in the house. Oh, it's just gonna be hard. 98 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:05,360 Speaker 1: We can't put anything under the tree. We won't be 99 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:08,279 Speaker 1: able to put anything under the tree until Christmas because 100 00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:10,000 Speaker 1: it would be it would be ripped open. Yeah, he 101 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,800 Speaker 1: does it. He lacks He totally lacks all self control. 102 00:05:12,839 --> 00:05:14,680 Speaker 1: And not that I mean he's three, Like why would 103 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:19,880 Speaker 1: he Yeah, I think that's normal. So, yeah, nothing can 104 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,600 Speaker 1: go out until until Christmas anyway, so it all has 105 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:25,560 Speaker 1: to be concealed around the house. And yeah, but we're 106 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:28,719 Speaker 1: gonna get there's a lot of cool stuff. We're getting 107 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 1: some blocks. I've always like playmobile stuff. You know, there's 108 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 1: some lego Harry Potter that's really really cool. Hogwarts expressed 109 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:41,279 Speaker 1: it's pretty fun. You know, we're just uh, the the 110 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:43,359 Speaker 1: eleven year old asked. Jasper asked for a trip again 111 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:45,880 Speaker 1: this year, which is, oh, that's so cool. Yeah, he 112 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,839 Speaker 1: likes experience stuff. I mean he sort of realized there's 113 00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:51,080 Speaker 1: nothing big he wants. He's not into video games, so uh, 114 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:53,720 Speaker 1: you know, Sam on stuff like the Xbox or whatever. 115 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:57,400 Speaker 1: But Jasper wants experience of the issue. He wants to 116 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:01,279 Speaker 1: go to California, which is gonna be hard to pull off. 117 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:05,040 Speaker 1: I mean it's a weekend like well that a weekend 118 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:08,200 Speaker 1: three three day. We got to find a day that 119 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 1: is off Mourning cou weekend. I don't even know if 120 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 1: we have it there. It is so oh man, even 121 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,800 Speaker 1: if we just use miles and stuff. So it's not 122 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,480 Speaker 1: really the expense, it's more the parental time. So it's 123 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,840 Speaker 1: the time, it's the time, well maybe the tail end 124 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:24,120 Speaker 1: of spring break or something. Yeah, we'll see. That's true. 125 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 1: Then you want that time with the other kids with 126 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,760 Speaker 1: the other kids. So yeah, we'll see how that one 127 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:32,719 Speaker 1: pulls up. Because last year he went to the Georgia Aquarium, 128 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,120 Speaker 1: is what he requested. But that was pretty easy in 129 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 1: and out because you just fly, you know, two hours 130 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,880 Speaker 1: down Saturday morning, came back. He and my husband went 131 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:43,400 Speaker 1: two hours you know, fly down Saturday morning, come back 132 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:47,520 Speaker 1: Sunday evening. They used miles, stayed in like a place 133 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:50,960 Speaker 1: where Starwood points, so it's like the trip itself was 134 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,120 Speaker 1: practically free. And then it was over the weekend, so 135 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,279 Speaker 1: it was just me, you know, covering for the weekend. 136 00:06:56,839 --> 00:06:59,839 Speaker 1: But four days is going to be a bit more 137 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:02,440 Speaker 1: intense for I think next year he's going to ask 138 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:05,919 Speaker 1: for like Italy. Yeah, i'd be like, wait, I'm not 139 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,600 Speaker 1: sure if yes, maybe these are things I need to 140 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:12,800 Speaker 1: start asking for for Christmas or something. But yeah, we'll see, 141 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:16,560 Speaker 1: we'll see. Well that's a good that's a good uh 142 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:20,920 Speaker 1: segue into our topic of the day, which is money. 143 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 1: Which is money, And we wanted to talk about why 144 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,240 Speaker 1: we wanted to do this episode because I know we 145 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:29,160 Speaker 1: are going to get certain amounts of feedback about Laura 146 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:31,960 Speaker 1: wanted to do this episode, and I'd be grudgingly, now 147 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:34,520 Speaker 1: you're going to do this whole thing. Thank you, Sarah 148 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,560 Speaker 1: hanging me out on the line to dry here. Now 149 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:41,560 Speaker 1: what it was so when in our previous episode where 150 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:44,119 Speaker 1: we were talking about, you know, career setbacks and things 151 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:46,280 Speaker 1: like that, and I'd mentioned that very few people had 152 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,840 Speaker 1: bought my money book, All the Money in the World, 153 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:51,040 Speaker 1: and I swear over the next few weeks I must 154 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 1: have heard from everybody who purchased a copy of All 155 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 1: the Money in the World. It was just like, well, 156 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 1: I liked it. I wanted to I'd love to hear 157 00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:00,480 Speaker 1: you talk more about that. I like it too, Okay, 158 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 1: there before I knew you it's where you do it 159 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 1: so but more the approach of thinking about, you know, 160 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:08,240 Speaker 1: our money stories and what we are telling ourselves about money, 161 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,520 Speaker 1: and where these stories come from, and how they shape 162 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,960 Speaker 1: our lives, and how we can use money as a 163 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,920 Speaker 1: tool to build the lives we want. And I of 164 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,600 Speaker 1: course understand that the sheer idea of using money as 165 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:22,080 Speaker 1: a tool implies that there's you know, some of it 166 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,800 Speaker 1: sitting around right that you're in a space where you 167 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:29,320 Speaker 1: have some disposable income and that you know, it doesn't 168 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:32,400 Speaker 1: apply to everyone, and we know we have listeners who 169 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:35,800 Speaker 1: are in all sorts of situations. But I think we 170 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:38,640 Speaker 1: all have stories we have grown up with that we 171 00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:41,080 Speaker 1: have developed over the years, Things we tell ourselves, things 172 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:43,320 Speaker 1: we believe about money, and it's interesting to sort of 173 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:46,679 Speaker 1: explore those and see how they affect our lives and 174 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:51,400 Speaker 1: our happiness and all that. So we wanted to do that. Well. 175 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:55,040 Speaker 1: I thought we could have a good discussion of talking about, 176 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:59,560 Speaker 1: you know, our money stories and how we grew up 177 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:02,240 Speaker 1: thinking of it and how we've sort of trained ourselves 178 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,240 Speaker 1: to think about it over time. No, I agree and 179 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 1: Laura's defense, I do think it is an interesting topic 180 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:10,560 Speaker 1: to explore, one that I'd like to listen to different 181 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:16,160 Speaker 1: perspectives about. And I mean just in the way that 182 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,680 Speaker 1: this episode isn't going to apply to everyone. When I 183 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:24,120 Speaker 1: listen to a podcast that is aimed at someone who 184 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,680 Speaker 1: stays home or has a flexible schedule that doesn't necessarily 185 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:29,160 Speaker 1: apply to me, sometimes it means I turn it off. 186 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:31,200 Speaker 1: Sometimes it means that I sort of listen and glean 187 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:34,720 Speaker 1: what I can. But I guess my disclimmers is like 188 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 1: we can we may have a personal finance expert on 189 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,880 Speaker 1: the blog someday that would be actually really fun. And 190 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:43,080 Speaker 1: if you have a specific person to suggest, we have 191 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,280 Speaker 1: a few from the survey, but if you have another one, 192 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:47,760 Speaker 1: that's great. But we also know that you like it 193 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:50,680 Speaker 1: when we share our stories, and the only stories we 194 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:54,200 Speaker 1: have are our own experiences. So as much as that 195 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:56,880 Speaker 1: we know we're going to get some people who who 196 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,959 Speaker 1: feel that this is not applicable to all, I totally 197 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:03,760 Speaker 1: agree it's not, but it probably is to some. And 198 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:07,080 Speaker 1: we do have a good number of families with two 199 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,880 Speaker 1: fairly high earners that we'll get to. And there are 200 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,480 Speaker 1: things there's that there are stories we tell ourselves about 201 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:15,880 Speaker 1: money that I think deserve a little bit more delving into. 202 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:18,400 Speaker 1: So I actually think it is a good idea, despite 203 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:22,199 Speaker 1: the fact that I thought it first, like why are 204 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 1: we even going here? Although there's various other angles of 205 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,840 Speaker 1: money beyond sort of like this, the budgeting, you know, 206 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:30,080 Speaker 1: frugal like personal finance stuff like I think would be 207 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:33,200 Speaker 1: great to talk about negotiating salaries and you know, pushing 208 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:35,840 Speaker 1: for raises and things like that, which I know that 209 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,760 Speaker 1: a lot of our listeners are women and maybe less 210 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:41,040 Speaker 1: likely to do. There's some interesting research about that and 211 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:44,080 Speaker 1: why that is that women are less aggressive about going 212 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:46,960 Speaker 1: for raises, for instance, when you know, taking on new 213 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:49,920 Speaker 1: jobs and things like that. But so, Sarah, let's let's 214 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,640 Speaker 1: talk about what we learned about money growing up. We 215 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:56,120 Speaker 1: found out that both of us are from pretty frugal homes. Right, yes, here, 216 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 1: why don't you go first order? We wrote it in 217 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,800 Speaker 1: there's we're sort of incrementally that way. There's there's that 218 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,760 Speaker 1: people have heard the phrase Dutch treat, which means that 219 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,040 Speaker 1: you both pay your own way. Right. There's sort of 220 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:10,280 Speaker 1: a joke there, and the people know my last name 221 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:12,800 Speaker 1: Vanderkam is like that, you kind of grow up with 222 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,600 Speaker 1: this sort of stuff. And my parents didn't have a 223 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,200 Speaker 1: whole lot of money when we were growing up, certainly, 224 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 1: you know, none when my brother was born and my 225 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,200 Speaker 1: father was still in graduate school. I mean, there was 226 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,600 Speaker 1: h you know, WI coupons involved in that time period 227 00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:29,199 Speaker 1: of their lives. By the time I came around, he 228 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 1: was gainfully employed, so that was slightly better. But you know, 229 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:38,080 Speaker 1: we we certainly never had a whole lot of money 230 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,000 Speaker 1: growing up. And I have all sorts of memories of 231 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,680 Speaker 1: my going to the grocery store with my mother, and 232 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:45,200 Speaker 1: she had her envelope for the coupons, you know, which 233 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:48,240 Speaker 1: is like a recycled envelope that you stick. I later 234 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:50,600 Speaker 1: learned that not everybody writes their grocery list on an 235 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:53,760 Speaker 1: envelope and sticks the coupons in there. That's our unique 236 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,400 Speaker 1: way of going to the grocery store in this family. 237 00:11:56,920 --> 00:12:01,120 Speaker 1: The upside of that sort of frugal background is that 238 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:06,360 Speaker 1: I have always always lived within my means. You know. 239 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:09,640 Speaker 1: There was my first year out of college, I was 240 00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:13,959 Speaker 1: working a year long internship that I lived on my own, 241 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:18,079 Speaker 1: you know, earnings like that nobody was supporting me so 242 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:20,439 Speaker 1: and I earned about like my salary was something like 243 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:23,320 Speaker 1: eighteen thousand dollars a year, which I lived on and 244 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:27,040 Speaker 1: it was fine, Like it wasn't actually that bad. I 245 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:31,439 Speaker 1: you know, carefully grocery shopped, I took public transportation, all 246 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:33,520 Speaker 1: that stuff. And you know, being able to do that, 247 00:12:33,559 --> 00:12:35,000 Speaker 1: which I know is a skill that a lot of 248 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:39,960 Speaker 1: my college classmates would never have had, made it easy 249 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,520 Speaker 1: to then, you know, actually build up savings when I 250 00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:44,800 Speaker 1: was freelancing on the side during the internship, and then 251 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,400 Speaker 1: I could you know, finance pretty much my move to 252 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:49,679 Speaker 1: New York and have a couple months where I didn't 253 00:12:49,679 --> 00:12:52,600 Speaker 1: know if I would be earning anything before I realized 254 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:56,000 Speaker 1: that I could actually earn serious money writing. So you know, 255 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:58,480 Speaker 1: there's there's upsides of that. Of course, the downsides that 256 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:01,040 Speaker 1: I find out I'm still you know, cheap for unknown 257 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:04,280 Speaker 1: reasons at times. How about you. You see, it's so 258 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:09,920 Speaker 1: interesting because I feel like I maybe had some parallels 259 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,280 Speaker 1: and then like but had none of the same results. 260 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:16,760 Speaker 1: I mean, my parents listened to this podcast and they're 261 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:20,040 Speaker 1: wonderful people, so obviously I'm not going to be throwing 262 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:23,440 Speaker 1: them under the bus, but they are very frugal, in 263 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:26,920 Speaker 1: my opinion, sometimes more frugal than is necessary. Like there 264 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:30,360 Speaker 1: were no Wick coupons, but there was never a purchase 265 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,720 Speaker 1: me that wasn't like Hemden had about you know, how 266 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:35,880 Speaker 1: can we do this cheaper? All of our family trips, 267 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,520 Speaker 1: most of them, parents will probably correct me and point 268 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:40,840 Speaker 1: out like one that wasn't were like my dad's work 269 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:42,600 Speaker 1: trips that we would tag along so we could stay 270 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:45,480 Speaker 1: free in the hotel, which meant I got a taste 271 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,280 Speaker 1: for really nice hotels, but we didn't pay for any 272 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,240 Speaker 1: of them. And then my dad would have to work, 273 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:53,240 Speaker 1: so that was not really a great you know, family 274 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:58,560 Speaker 1: togetherness experience. So I don't know, like I probably, if anything, 275 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,800 Speaker 1: rebelled against this up bringing. I don't know if I 276 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,920 Speaker 1: would say that I was resentful but was not the 277 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:08,560 Speaker 1: most responsible with money as soon as I had any 278 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:14,400 Speaker 1: and that includes like credit cards, I sort of, I mean, 279 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:17,360 Speaker 1: I never got into too much trouble, thankfully. It was 280 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,480 Speaker 1: more like, you know, I would just empty my bank 281 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:21,520 Speaker 1: account while I was at college, and my parents were 282 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:25,640 Speaker 1: generous enough to be completely paying for my college experience 283 00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:27,720 Speaker 1: and so you know, their savings did pay off. They 284 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,640 Speaker 1: did that, and they also you know, bought me a 285 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:31,320 Speaker 1: car with cash at the end of college. So I 286 00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:34,120 Speaker 1: sound horribly ungrateful, and I'm not. I'm I they are 287 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:37,240 Speaker 1: great parents. They gave me a lot, but their philosophy 288 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:40,480 Speaker 1: always graded on me a little bit. And maybe still 289 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:43,400 Speaker 1: does they know we get in you know, little TIFs 290 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:46,760 Speaker 1: about it, and so I don't feel that way. I'm 291 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:49,680 Speaker 1: probably you know, there are people who are under buyers, 292 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,640 Speaker 1: and Laura, I know you count yourself as one of them, 293 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,920 Speaker 1: and then there are people who are, if anything, over buyers. 294 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,440 Speaker 1: I don't think I'm an overbuyer either. I think I 295 00:14:56,680 --> 00:15:01,040 Speaker 1: really tend to be very intentional with at this point. 296 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:03,359 Speaker 1: But when I was younger, I was pretty dumb, including 297 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:06,640 Speaker 1: I took a trip to Europe right after graduating from college, 298 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:09,720 Speaker 1: and I'm not sure how I thought I was paying 299 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,800 Speaker 1: for it, like I didn't have any real jobs or 300 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:16,440 Speaker 1: any real savings. And then I got home and was like, well, 301 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 1: I've got a few thousands of credit card debt. And 302 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:23,080 Speaker 1: my parents were like, we're bailing you out for one 303 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,440 Speaker 1: last time in your entire life, and we will never 304 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,160 Speaker 1: do it again. And I remember how bad it felt 305 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,760 Speaker 1: to think that I would actually like like I had 306 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:31,480 Speaker 1: no way of paying the debt, like I was about to, 307 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,120 Speaker 1: you know, start medical school. I was mdphd, which came 308 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,040 Speaker 1: with like a small stipend, but it was not going 309 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,520 Speaker 1: to be enough to you know, pay any extra bills. 310 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:40,720 Speaker 1: And that was it. I was never in debt again, 311 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:45,080 Speaker 1: So that that is good. Yeah, but I have I 312 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:48,520 Speaker 1: have a different philosophy, and my husband is also certainly 313 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:51,840 Speaker 1: not an underbuyer either, So as we'll talk about, we 314 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:55,320 Speaker 1: have other strategies to keep ourselves in check because we're 315 00:15:55,360 --> 00:16:00,240 Speaker 1: not naturally we don't naturally lean to frugal I don't think. Yeah, 316 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,640 Speaker 1: I think my husband and I both do. Like we're 317 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:07,640 Speaker 1: both very very temperamentally oriented that way, which has been 318 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:11,040 Speaker 1: you know, led to certain things. So we don't really 319 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:14,840 Speaker 1: budget because we both earn good amounts of money and 320 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,960 Speaker 1: then our set expenses are a low enough percentage of 321 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:23,360 Speaker 1: that by design that then little things sort of daily 322 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,120 Speaker 1: spending or whatever, it just doesn't matter as much, you know, 323 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:27,840 Speaker 1: because it's it's such a lot. And that's one of 324 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:29,400 Speaker 1: the things I actually talk about in all the money 325 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:32,760 Speaker 1: in the world that you know, if you set your 326 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,200 Speaker 1: I mean sometimes you can't obviously that you need to 327 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:38,120 Speaker 1: live in a safe place with good schools, and that's 328 00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:41,600 Speaker 1: going to require a certain amount, you know. But if 329 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:43,600 Speaker 1: you have a choice, you know, what you choose to 330 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,400 Speaker 1: spend what proportion of your income on things like housing 331 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,960 Speaker 1: and cars for instance. If you choose to spend less, 332 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,000 Speaker 1: then that's money that's there all the time every month 333 00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:55,560 Speaker 1: that you can you know, spend and yet still have 334 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,360 Speaker 1: savings as well. And so you know, that's kind of 335 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,520 Speaker 1: been our philosophy, is that if you set but you 336 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,160 Speaker 1: know you have your means, and if you set your 337 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:04,639 Speaker 1: expenses at a low enough percentage of it then you 338 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:07,680 Speaker 1: don't have to worry as much of that. But you guys, budget, 339 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,760 Speaker 1: you're you're like my time tracker, only when you're with 340 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:13,359 Speaker 1: your U need a budget, right, It is true. I 341 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:15,760 Speaker 1: mean I could like tell you, like what we spent 342 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:19,119 Speaker 1: for parking on you know, February third, twenty fifteen or 343 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:20,640 Speaker 1: some which I could tell you how I spent every 344 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,200 Speaker 1: time time, tell what you were doing. Yeah, So it's 345 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:26,080 Speaker 1: crazy and it's funny because like while you're time tracking, 346 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 1: you know, is a is a big Well maybe it does. It, 347 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:30,640 Speaker 1: Maybe it's such a hat because to me it's such 348 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:32,320 Speaker 1: a habit that it doesn't feel like a big thing. 349 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:36,520 Speaker 1: But for us, I think part of it is, you know, 350 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:40,320 Speaker 1: we went from residence salaries abruptly to attending salaries, which 351 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:44,640 Speaker 1: was like, you know, a really really big and sudden increase. 352 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:48,119 Speaker 1: And it was kind of like, okay, initially that that 353 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,240 Speaker 1: seemed great, but then all of a sudden it felt like, 354 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,000 Speaker 1: oh my god, it was like flowing out as fast 355 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,600 Speaker 1: as it was coming in. And we've read so much 356 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:57,720 Speaker 1: about actually doctors being notoriously poor managers of money, and like, 357 00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,879 Speaker 1: you know, assuming that they're going to work forever and 358 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,040 Speaker 1: have a higher earning potential forever. And we didn't want 359 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:05,960 Speaker 1: to be like that. So we started tracking on wine 360 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 1: app just so we could see exactly what was coming in, 361 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:11,080 Speaker 1: exactly what was coming out, to give us the freedom 362 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:14,520 Speaker 1: to enjoy spending on certain things without stressing about it. 363 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:17,240 Speaker 1: So I guess, to some extent, even though I'm not 364 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:20,000 Speaker 1: an underbuyer, I might I'm gonna not have joy about 365 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,159 Speaker 1: a purchase unless I know that I can afford it 366 00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:26,679 Speaker 1: in a kind of planned manner. So by tracking and 367 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,199 Speaker 1: having sort of amounts that were allowed to spend on 368 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:32,200 Speaker 1: travel or ourselves or our kids or whatever, I think 369 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:35,200 Speaker 1: it helps us got to, you know, use our money 370 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:38,640 Speaker 1: smarter and more intentionally, and also enjoy spending it more 371 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,880 Speaker 1: because when I spend my allowance, I don't feel guilty. 372 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:45,359 Speaker 1: I don't feel like questioning whether I should really be 373 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,359 Speaker 1: doing it because I've already earmarked that money. And I 374 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,960 Speaker 1: think that, unlike you, if we were to just naturally 375 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:53,840 Speaker 1: do whatever. Well. Number one, I think Josh and I 376 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,000 Speaker 1: might fight with each other, Like if he buys another guitar, 377 00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,640 Speaker 1: I might be like, hey, you know, you just bought 378 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,000 Speaker 1: two guitars but instead it's like, oh, it's his a long. 379 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,320 Speaker 1: It's like that's okay. He's only allowed to spend what's 380 00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:04,880 Speaker 1: in there, and I'm allowed to spone what's in mind. 381 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:06,840 Speaker 1: So I think it helps us not fight about it. 382 00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:09,359 Speaker 1: But I also think it helps us keep things just 383 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,560 Speaker 1: more reasonable. Yeah, I guess we just don't buy stuff, 384 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,720 Speaker 1: like wonder what was that. I don't know what we 385 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,800 Speaker 1: buy to be honest. Like that's the funny thing is, 386 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,720 Speaker 1: like I don't think of us as material I mean, 387 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:23,320 Speaker 1: you heard our Honka list, Like, we're not super materialistic. 388 00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:25,879 Speaker 1: But I think I guess it's just more like the 389 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:28,960 Speaker 1: vacations and the experiences and the childcare, it just it 390 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:31,639 Speaker 1: just all adds up. And cost of living is fairly 391 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:33,720 Speaker 1: expensive done here, although it's about to become a little 392 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,160 Speaker 1: cheaper for us. Yeah that's true out of Miami Beach. 393 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,159 Speaker 1: So yeah, well that could be an interesting things. You 394 00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,280 Speaker 1: may change our margins a little bit. You may ponder 395 00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:42,720 Speaker 1: like what you're you know, what kind of house and 396 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,919 Speaker 1: what you're looking for, and especially as you're looking at 397 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:48,080 Speaker 1: a different neighborhood which isn't quite as pricey as Miami Beach, 398 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,480 Speaker 1: you know, it'd be interesting to see how you wind 399 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:54,920 Speaker 1: up optimizing the different angles of that purchase. Well, I 400 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,240 Speaker 1: can say right now that like the homes we're looking at, 401 00:19:57,359 --> 00:19:59,120 Speaker 1: or many of them, are like one and a half 402 00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:02,199 Speaker 1: times the size for half the price. So it's it's 403 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:05,200 Speaker 1: not like a thing. Yeah, it's not a subtle it's 404 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,960 Speaker 1: not a subtle gradation. No. No, although that's assuming that 405 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,200 Speaker 1: our house sells. I mean, you're in a place where 406 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:13,480 Speaker 1: it's it's tightly and like you want to live in 407 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:16,600 Speaker 1: Miami Beach. You you got to be there, so's hope 408 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,360 Speaker 1: you need a budget. Right, Why did you ask chose 409 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:25,520 Speaker 1: that one? Is Well, at the time when we bought it, 410 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,160 Speaker 1: it was a one time purchase rather than a subscription model, 411 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,919 Speaker 1: and we're still using that old one. So it was 412 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,080 Speaker 1: like a one time investment of like fifty bucks or 413 00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,280 Speaker 1: something like that. If I looked on wineup, I could, 414 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:38,600 Speaker 1: I could, I could find out exactly because I'm sure 415 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,520 Speaker 1: I put that into wine up, the purchase of wine up, 416 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:44,000 Speaker 1: because that's super meta. Anyway, I just liked the fact 417 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,679 Speaker 1: that it was easy to use, that it SYNCD up 418 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,720 Speaker 1: with our phone, so it's easy to put on things 419 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:49,520 Speaker 1: on the run if they've now moved to a subscription 420 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,960 Speaker 1: model that eventually we may have to switch to just 421 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:55,479 Speaker 1: because they don't have tech support on the old one. 422 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:57,200 Speaker 1: I imagine that at some point it's just going to 423 00:20:57,240 --> 00:21:00,560 Speaker 1: not work anymore. But it's user friendly. I don't know, 424 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,600 Speaker 1: it's just it's a good program. And actually I like 425 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,000 Speaker 1: that it's not automatic. You have to manually tell it 426 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:08,479 Speaker 1: every time you're spending, so it's not like it uploads 427 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,040 Speaker 1: a bunch and you have to like fix it or not. 428 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:12,520 Speaker 1: I think that's too tempting to kind of have it 429 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,960 Speaker 1: be very inaccurate, like programs like Mint, although maybe they've 430 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,120 Speaker 1: gotten better since we've So it doesn't just go straight 431 00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:20,399 Speaker 1: from your credit card or debit cards. You have to 432 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,880 Speaker 1: actually tell it every time I buy something on Amazon 433 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,159 Speaker 1: or every power bill that comes in, I just take 434 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,320 Speaker 1: two seconds and throw it into wine app. So it's 435 00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:29,480 Speaker 1: all manually entered. And then every month I do an 436 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:33,840 Speaker 1: audit interesting and to see if you're over or under 437 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,840 Speaker 1: on the different cod well it serves two things. I 438 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,000 Speaker 1: go through and make sure I didn't like miss any purchases, 439 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,720 Speaker 1: because it's certainly possible for out to eat, we just 440 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,080 Speaker 1: forget to put it in. So I like look at 441 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:44,040 Speaker 1: especially the big things on our credit card bills and 442 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:45,600 Speaker 1: make sure I put them into wine app. And then 443 00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:47,399 Speaker 1: I also create the next month's budget and sort of 444 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,879 Speaker 1: make sure that we're on track and not you know, 445 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:52,639 Speaker 1: overspending what's in each bucket. So it kind of keeps 446 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:56,320 Speaker 1: us doing what we're doing. That's cool, that sounds yeah, 447 00:21:56,359 --> 00:21:58,280 Speaker 1: it's funny. I actually that was one of the things 448 00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:00,680 Speaker 1: I like about my time tracking is that I'm manually 449 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,840 Speaker 1: entering how I spend my time to People often ask me, well, 450 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:04,880 Speaker 1: why don't you just have an app that will then, 451 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,360 Speaker 1: you know, be automatic, which there are some that are 452 00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:09,919 Speaker 1: developing that technology that you have your phone with you 453 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:11,760 Speaker 1: all the time. It just like follows you around and 454 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:13,960 Speaker 1: it knows where you are right you're at your kids' school, 455 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,200 Speaker 1: like so that it puts, you know, two forty five 456 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,960 Speaker 1: to three fifteen at school would be automatically on the timelog, 457 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:22,840 Speaker 1: and then you just go in afterwards and correct the 458 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:24,640 Speaker 1: record if it you know, in fact, you were at 459 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,680 Speaker 1: like the library next to the school for that time. 460 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:32,119 Speaker 1: But you know, it's it. I actually like putting it 461 00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:34,800 Speaker 1: in because of that mindfulness aspect of it that it 462 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,679 Speaker 1: forces you to pay attention and to acknowledge that this 463 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:39,199 Speaker 1: is what you did with your time. So I can 464 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:42,040 Speaker 1: see that it would be the same thing with money, 465 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:45,160 Speaker 1: that that would be one of the upsides of manually 466 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,639 Speaker 1: entering it. So we have a question here about our 467 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:53,399 Speaker 1: proudest money moments. So I like yours. Yeah, I like 468 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,800 Speaker 1: both of them. So my you know, I'm a self 469 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,440 Speaker 1: employed person. I actually been working for myself since age 470 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,600 Speaker 1: twenty three, which is is kind of nutty to have 471 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:07,439 Speaker 1: gone that long without a regular paycheck. But you know, 472 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,760 Speaker 1: at the beginning it was it was very much a hustle. 473 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:11,439 Speaker 1: And there have been plenty of times where it's a 474 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:14,000 Speaker 1: hustle and you try to make a certain amount and 475 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:16,520 Speaker 1: you know, somebody offers you work. It's you always want 476 00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:19,280 Speaker 1: to take it, right my husband, and my husband's a consultant, 477 00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,080 Speaker 1: so he sort of describes it the same way, like 478 00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:23,640 Speaker 1: you're you're a hunter. You see a mammoth, you want 479 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,560 Speaker 1: to get the mammoth. Like if it's an easy mammoth 480 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,680 Speaker 1: to get, You're like, I'm going to go after that mammoth, right, 481 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:30,880 Speaker 1: Like you're The idea of not going after the mammoth 482 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,440 Speaker 1: is just like, wow, would I not do that. But 483 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,440 Speaker 1: my proud as many moments, are every time I turn 484 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,280 Speaker 1: down work. And I have learned to do this over 485 00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:41,200 Speaker 1: the years that saying yes to something that you don't 486 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:45,159 Speaker 1: particularly enjoy doing or find like career advancing, or doesn't 487 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:48,800 Speaker 1: pay enough to compensate for those two aspects, A, you're 488 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:52,399 Speaker 1: gonna be like resentful doing it, and but more importantly, 489 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:55,959 Speaker 1: it takes time and mental energy that you could spend 490 00:23:55,960 --> 00:24:00,359 Speaker 1: going after something better. So saying yes to too much 491 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:04,280 Speaker 1: little stuff means you don't have the capacity for the 492 00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:07,160 Speaker 1: big stuff. You won't have the ability to go after 493 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,600 Speaker 1: a new opportunity, or if somebody proposes something, you won't 494 00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:11,639 Speaker 1: be able to take it on. I've seen this, like 495 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:14,920 Speaker 1: you know, very clearly with stuff that you know. If 496 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:17,000 Speaker 1: I'm giving it a speech and it's a date that 497 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,400 Speaker 1: somebody wants far in the future, but they don't want 498 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:21,840 Speaker 1: to pay sort of what I'd like to earn. If 499 00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,320 Speaker 1: I say yes to a lower rate, it's highly likely 500 00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,200 Speaker 1: that I'll get another option that would have paid more 501 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:29,400 Speaker 1: for that date that I will then have to turn 502 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:31,639 Speaker 1: down because I said yes to this other thing and 503 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,800 Speaker 1: committed to it. So I've learned the hard way on 504 00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:36,840 Speaker 1: speaking like, don't get on a plane for something that's 505 00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:39,000 Speaker 1: not paying what you want to earn, you know, for 506 00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:41,639 Speaker 1: a date six months in the future, Like say no, 507 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,760 Speaker 1: because something will come up. So every time I turn 508 00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:47,119 Speaker 1: down work, I'm like, that was hard to do, Like 509 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:50,119 Speaker 1: it's not my tendency to turn down work because I 510 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,040 Speaker 1: love to earn money. Like I'm amazed at how much 511 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:56,280 Speaker 1: I like to earn money and how much that is 512 00:24:56,560 --> 00:25:00,720 Speaker 1: kind of associated with my mental picture of myself. But 513 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,440 Speaker 1: you know, when I do it, it's it's good. I guess. 514 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:07,560 Speaker 1: My one other proud money moment was was negotiating for 515 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,880 Speaker 1: my car. So I never had a car until I 516 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:13,119 Speaker 1: was thirty when we moved to the suburbs. I've always 517 00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:14,880 Speaker 1: I'd lived in Washington, d C. And then I lived 518 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:18,840 Speaker 1: in New York, so we never had cars. So you know, 519 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:21,679 Speaker 1: you don't need them on public transportation as such that 520 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:24,720 Speaker 1: it's really not necessary. And so I bought my first 521 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:28,840 Speaker 1: car when we moved out to Pennsylvania, and it was 522 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:35,159 Speaker 1: a negotiation. The dealer deemed the negotiation aggressive, but I 523 00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,280 Speaker 1: got my car for for a lot less than a 524 00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:40,240 Speaker 1: you know, and it's a point of pride, is a 525 00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:43,720 Speaker 1: point of pride that I was. I was aggressive about 526 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:47,679 Speaker 1: this car negotiation. We're like the worst negotiators, see, I 527 00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:49,919 Speaker 1: mean I think I think it partly has to if 528 00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:52,080 Speaker 1: you don't find spending money all that painful, then you 529 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,520 Speaker 1: like you're like, it's not really worth I don't know, 530 00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:59,000 Speaker 1: it's it's we're not. It's a different philosophy. And in fact, 531 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,320 Speaker 1: we actually hired a car broker to buy our last car, 532 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:03,520 Speaker 1: so you like, pay somebody a chunk of money and 533 00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:05,479 Speaker 1: then they know all the dealers, so theoretically they can 534 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,359 Speaker 1: get a good enough price and they do the negotiating 535 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:09,639 Speaker 1: for you, but mostly just takes the workout and you 536 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:11,879 Speaker 1: probably aren't going to get a terrible deal. You probably 537 00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:14,320 Speaker 1: aren't going to get an aggressive deal either. Well do 538 00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:17,040 Speaker 1: you think they earned you enough back versus what you 539 00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:20,600 Speaker 1: will try to negotiate on your own. Well never know. 540 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,359 Speaker 1: Although we did do something okay frugal car tip. We 541 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:26,040 Speaker 1: wanted leather seats, and we did get the cloth seats 542 00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:28,399 Speaker 1: and put the leather in like did an aftermarket and 543 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:29,960 Speaker 1: it looks just as good and it costs like two 544 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:31,920 Speaker 1: thousand dollars less, So there you go. It wasn't a 545 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,080 Speaker 1: negotiating but it was another strategy. Yeah, that's true. A 546 00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:36,600 Speaker 1: lot of the sort of packages on the cars, you know, 547 00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:40,119 Speaker 1: it's non transparent pricing. Then on stuff that you know, 548 00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,880 Speaker 1: if you actually put it out on, Like what would 549 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,600 Speaker 1: it cost a guy to put leather on this seat? 550 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:46,960 Speaker 1: The answer is probably a lot less than it would 551 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:49,119 Speaker 1: cost the end that the dealer is going to try 552 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:53,080 Speaker 1: and charge you for. Yeah. Oh interesting, Okay, and I 553 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,000 Speaker 1: think it was our car broker that gave us that Ideakay, 554 00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:56,720 Speaker 1: but that is not your proudest money moment. I mean, 555 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,760 Speaker 1: I'm sure it's great, but you hired somebody negotiate, But 556 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:04,080 Speaker 1: what is your privue money moment? Every time I like 557 00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:06,880 Speaker 1: have a big bill, do like, you know, giant property 558 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,920 Speaker 1: tax bill or school tuition, and I look and y M, 559 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,639 Speaker 1: and I have it like all added up like in 560 00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:13,960 Speaker 1: that little budget pocket, like it's got you know whatever, 561 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,720 Speaker 1: fifteen thousand or twenty thousand dollars in there, and I 562 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,200 Speaker 1: can just go click. I love that. That's a great 563 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:20,200 Speaker 1: feeling because you know, until we had real jobs, we 564 00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,560 Speaker 1: could never do that. And a lot of times when 565 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,480 Speaker 1: you do that, you sometimes get a discount, like our 566 00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:27,560 Speaker 1: property tax for every month you pay early you get 567 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:30,680 Speaker 1: one percent off and that's that's like a few hundred bucks, 568 00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:32,960 Speaker 1: Like that's a lot of money. Yeah, so yeah, that's 569 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,040 Speaker 1: my proud money moment. Yeah, we have that too. If 570 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:39,520 Speaker 1: you pay your real estate tax bills immediately and in full, 571 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:42,000 Speaker 1: like you get two percent off or something like that. 572 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:45,960 Speaker 1: So we've always and certainly more you know, that's off 573 00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:47,480 Speaker 1: the number, and then if you paid over time, you 574 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,439 Speaker 1: pay even more. Right, So it's it, Yeah, definitely the 575 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,040 Speaker 1: way to go, I mean, because it's not like you 576 00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,960 Speaker 1: aren't going to not pay it eventually, so yes, if 577 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:59,800 Speaker 1: you have the cash on hand, it's it's definitely worth 578 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:03,399 Speaker 1: to advantage of something like that. So what do you 579 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:05,679 Speaker 1: like least? Like, what money story do you tell yourself 580 00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:11,400 Speaker 1: that you'd like to change yours? Okay, yeah, so, as 581 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,320 Speaker 1: we've been telling you, I find spending money incredibly painful, 582 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:20,720 Speaker 1: and it's it's not a great There are upsides to that, right, 583 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,280 Speaker 1: you know the fact that you're living within your means 584 00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:27,639 Speaker 1: and stuff like that. But I won't replace stuff, I 585 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:31,160 Speaker 1: won't get stuff fixed. Partly it's just my physical environment 586 00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:32,960 Speaker 1: doesn't bother as me as much. So I you know, 587 00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:35,720 Speaker 1: was going around for several months with the clock in 588 00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:39,040 Speaker 1: my car being an hour and thirty seven minutes off, 589 00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,800 Speaker 1: which apparently I just found it easier to add an 590 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:45,640 Speaker 1: hour and thirty seven minutes to whatever it said versus 591 00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:49,800 Speaker 1: actually change it. But it's the same thing. I'm walking 592 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:55,120 Speaker 1: around with my handbags literally held together with dental floss. 593 00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:59,920 Speaker 1: That this was a way I could fix the hand 594 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:03,120 Speaker 1: to it right the straps the strap came off, so 595 00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:05,720 Speaker 1: I got this. It's it's Coach, which is a nice, 596 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:07,680 Speaker 1: you know brand leather handbag. But I got it at 597 00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:09,200 Speaker 1: the outlet store and then got it at sales, so 598 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:11,640 Speaker 1: I got it for about twenty five percent of what 599 00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:13,840 Speaker 1: you would normally pay. Maybe that's why it fell apart. 600 00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:15,800 Speaker 1: I don't know, Maybe it's not, maybe it's fake, who knows, 601 00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:19,360 Speaker 1: but anyway, it's uh. It you know, lasted for about 602 00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:21,800 Speaker 1: a year of heavy daily use, and then one of 603 00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,400 Speaker 1: the straps came off, So I have guivered it with 604 00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:27,600 Speaker 1: duck with dental floss because it came apart at a 605 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,520 Speaker 1: time that I think this might be the picture for 606 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:33,680 Speaker 1: our instagrams exactly of wine carrot. So you know, why 607 00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:36,800 Speaker 1: haven't I gone and bought a new handbag. I don't know, 608 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,560 Speaker 1: can I buy you a handbag? You could? Why don't you? 609 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:42,960 Speaker 1: Maybe it's just the mental you are ready, I should 610 00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:45,440 Speaker 1: buy a low tough bag. They're beautiful and it's a 611 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:48,960 Speaker 1: small company. You're supporting an American small company, and their 612 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:52,120 Speaker 1: stuff is holding up really well for me, definitely more 613 00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:54,360 Speaker 1: than a year. So okay, well I will I will 614 00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,680 Speaker 1: look into that. I probably do need a new bag. 615 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:01,200 Speaker 1: But I wrote of my texts, I was like, OMG, 616 00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:05,200 Speaker 1: Laura buy a bag already. She needs to buy a bag. 617 00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:08,280 Speaker 1: I need to. That's just you know, dental floss doesn't 618 00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:11,800 Speaker 1: probably look the most professional. That's true. Yes, here, I 619 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:14,280 Speaker 1: am your speaker about how to have a more productive 620 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:16,880 Speaker 1: effect of life. Walk around with my bag. Maybe it's 621 00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,760 Speaker 1: part of your negotiation strategy. You're like, look, I need this. 622 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:21,840 Speaker 1: You've got to know you, I actually don't want to. 623 00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:24,240 Speaker 1: You don't want to ever go into a negotiation being 624 00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:26,840 Speaker 1: that you need it. Right, you know, it's the best 625 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:29,480 Speaker 1: negotiation is that I do not I don't need I 626 00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:31,840 Speaker 1: don't need it. I don't need it. I will walk away, 627 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,920 Speaker 1: I will walk away. I do not need this. I 628 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:36,720 Speaker 1: do not need anything. And actually, when you when you 629 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:41,880 Speaker 1: have that, it's one of the negotiators. I've learned this year. 630 00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:45,000 Speaker 1: I've actually earned a reasonable chunk. I've been keeping track 631 00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:47,160 Speaker 1: of it. From places that tell me they don't pay 632 00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,440 Speaker 1: their speakers. I said, well, then I won't do it, 633 00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:53,040 Speaker 1: and then they find a budget that magically they do 634 00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:55,160 Speaker 1: in fact pay some of their speakers, but apparently only 635 00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:58,280 Speaker 1: the ones who think to ask, So you know, that's 636 00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:01,520 Speaker 1: uh it just never hears like I'm not doing it, 637 00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:03,520 Speaker 1: you know, and or that I can't do it for 638 00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:05,280 Speaker 1: X and sorry, we're not gonna be able to make 639 00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:08,480 Speaker 1: this work. And sometimes people come back and have more budgets. 640 00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:10,800 Speaker 1: Sometimes they don't, but you know, and some of that 641 00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:13,040 Speaker 1: I have my I'm doing sending a lot of this 642 00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:15,480 Speaker 1: over those speakers bureau now anyway, because they're just more 643 00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:20,040 Speaker 1: holding the line on that. But uh, you know, negotiation, 644 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:25,360 Speaker 1: like I said, that's all that. That's awesome. So what 645 00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:28,880 Speaker 1: story do you like least? I don't. I don't know. 646 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:32,160 Speaker 1: I just I, oh, I like least that I find 647 00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:36,840 Speaker 1: investing like super intimidating and too complicated, because that's a story. 648 00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:40,400 Speaker 1: It's actually not that complicated. I actually really enjoy listening 649 00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:44,680 Speaker 1: to Planet Money, so I can't be that bad. But 650 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,960 Speaker 1: I feel like neither Josh nor I take as active 651 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:51,160 Speaker 1: roles as we probably should in sort of managing the 652 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:54,880 Speaker 1: long term savings side of things. You definitely can totally 653 00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:57,680 Speaker 1: do that yourself, proud. I mean, that's that's you know. 654 00:31:57,720 --> 00:31:59,960 Speaker 1: I know a lot of people like will pay other 655 00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,240 Speaker 1: people to do it. I just don't really see why. 656 00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:04,719 Speaker 1: I mean, it's very easy to like set up an 657 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:08,560 Speaker 1: account and then buy mostly you know, index funds. Not 658 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:10,959 Speaker 1: that we're giving any no, it's not investment advice, but 659 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:12,920 Speaker 1: like you don't need somebody else to buy index funds 660 00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:15,200 Speaker 1: for you, and now you should be in any way 661 00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:20,160 Speaker 1: because market long term, So that's what you should. That 662 00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:23,000 Speaker 1: is what I have learned from Planet Money and Freakonomics 663 00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,040 Speaker 1: more than anything else. So it's like you should. It 664 00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:27,480 Speaker 1: is something you should diy And we're not necessarily doing 665 00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:29,640 Speaker 1: that at this point, but at some point we'll take 666 00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:32,400 Speaker 1: the reins. We'll see what happens. Yeah, so what are 667 00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:35,880 Speaker 1: you teaching your kids about money? Yeah? So we we 668 00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:39,240 Speaker 1: do do the allowance thing. We certainly buy them stuff 669 00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:42,400 Speaker 1: other times as well. It's not like Cameron, you need 670 00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:45,040 Speaker 1: new clothes, use your allowance. I don't think if three 671 00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:46,959 Speaker 1: dollars a week would get involced, you might just never 672 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,520 Speaker 1: buy clothes, like, I don't want to do do that. Good point. 673 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:52,640 Speaker 1: Good point. I want full control over the clothing buying actually, 674 00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:57,120 Speaker 1: because yeah, but we do. We do give them a 675 00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:58,600 Speaker 1: three dollars a week. I think it's three dollar. I'm 676 00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:00,200 Speaker 1: actually non charge of it. Josh is in charge it. 677 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:01,920 Speaker 1: He puts it into wine app, which actually is a 678 00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:04,720 Speaker 1: great system because otherwise it's very easy to forget to 679 00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:06,200 Speaker 1: pay your kids and then you're like, oh, I don't 680 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:07,680 Speaker 1: know how many weeks it's been, but we can actually 681 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:08,920 Speaker 1: look back and be like, oh, no, we put it 682 00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:11,280 Speaker 1: in wine app. You've been paid up to October thirteenth. 683 00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:13,080 Speaker 1: And sometimes we'll pay them a few weeks at a time, 684 00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:16,880 Speaker 1: And for example, if we're at a museum and we 685 00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,080 Speaker 1: weren't planning on getting something, we can say to them, 686 00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:21,240 Speaker 1: if you really want something, use your money. And I 687 00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:24,960 Speaker 1: think it helps because they do kind of start to understand, oh, 688 00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:26,600 Speaker 1: I can't get this because I don't have enough money 689 00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:30,360 Speaker 1: for this, And so they're understanding the value of different things. 690 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:33,440 Speaker 1: And I think they're also getting starting to understand, hey, 691 00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:35,120 Speaker 1: if I use my allowance, I won't have it to 692 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,320 Speaker 1: spend later. So I think it's been good and we 693 00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:40,080 Speaker 1: don't tie it to anything thus far, we haven't done 694 00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:43,400 Speaker 1: any like behavior or like jobs for them to well, well, no, 695 00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:45,760 Speaker 1: I take it back. I've like paid Annabella dollar to 696 00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:50,680 Speaker 1: watch Genevieve before for like ten minutes. But generally we're not. 697 00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:53,080 Speaker 1: We're not paying them for things. We just that's like 698 00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:56,520 Speaker 1: their unconditional thing that they get each week. Okay, And 699 00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:58,880 Speaker 1: did you have a debate about this or was that 700 00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:01,160 Speaker 1: how you guys grew up? And that was sort of 701 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:02,800 Speaker 1: the way. It was, like, you know, the whole tying 702 00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,120 Speaker 1: it to chores versus not time to this as I 703 00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:08,080 Speaker 1: learned writing all the money, my parents were quite consistent. 704 00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,719 Speaker 1: I don't really remember. I feel like sometimes they would 705 00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:12,440 Speaker 1: just like offer it, and then other times it was 706 00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:14,600 Speaker 1: like they would offer it, but then if you don't 707 00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:16,239 Speaker 1: do this, you don't get it. So it was like 708 00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:19,680 Speaker 1: sort of like a negative reinforcement kind of a situation. 709 00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:23,480 Speaker 1: I don't I don't really remember, and I don't know 710 00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:25,080 Speaker 1: what my husband's side, but that's just kind of what 711 00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:28,120 Speaker 1: we decided together. We may have read something about it, Yeah, sure, 712 00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:32,040 Speaker 1: and you guys you read one side of the literature 713 00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:37,319 Speaker 1: and not the other side. Certainly possible. Yeah, but because 714 00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:40,759 Speaker 1: you guys had like a we had a we had 715 00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:43,120 Speaker 1: one of our biggest fights ever about this. I sort 716 00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:45,239 Speaker 1: of assammed, we'd give our kids allowed. So my parents 717 00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:49,439 Speaker 1: gave us a small allowance growing up every week, and yeah, 718 00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:52,320 Speaker 1: I paid for various things out of that, and babysitting 719 00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:56,560 Speaker 1: money and so forth. You know, I remember like being 720 00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:59,520 Speaker 1: the person who had to have you know, I wouldn't 721 00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:02,000 Speaker 1: go to a sleep away camp in the summer that 722 00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:04,360 Speaker 1: was out of college campus, and I was always responsible 723 00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:05,960 Speaker 1: for my own spending money for that, which would have 724 00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:08,160 Speaker 1: come out of saved allowance and babysitting money and things 725 00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:11,600 Speaker 1: like that. So I sort of assume that's what we do. 726 00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:14,719 Speaker 1: And I kind of mentioned that to Jasper at one point, like, oh, yeah, 727 00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:16,200 Speaker 1: you know, we could give you a couple of dollars 728 00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:18,399 Speaker 1: a week. And then my my husband, I was talking 729 00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:21,239 Speaker 1: about it with him and he just like blew up, 730 00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:24,360 Speaker 1: like in a way that I have not seen any 731 00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:28,520 Speaker 1: other way, shape or form in my life. He is 732 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:32,000 Speaker 1: a pretty calm guys, because of his childhood experiences or something. 733 00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:34,520 Speaker 1: Don't know, well, I assume it was touching on something 734 00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:37,120 Speaker 1: like because you don't you know, that's not a normal 735 00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:39,880 Speaker 1: reaction to like I'm going to give my kid three dollars. 736 00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:45,960 Speaker 1: So I think, you know, they didn't do allowances growing up. 737 00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:48,279 Speaker 1: And I'm not sure that produced one way or the other, 738 00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:52,080 Speaker 1: because he and his siblings have very different approaches to 739 00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:56,160 Speaker 1: money and money stories they are telling themselves. So it's 740 00:35:56,280 --> 00:36:00,319 Speaker 1: not that one way of being with your children and 741 00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:03,640 Speaker 1: then produces a certain outcome at all. So I'm not 742 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,319 Speaker 1: quite sure what his argument was and in that way, 743 00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:10,920 Speaker 1: but anyway, he was adamantly opposed to giving the children 744 00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:17,560 Speaker 1: an allowance. He thinks that we can pay for things 745 00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:21,560 Speaker 1: for them if they ask and have a good reason, 746 00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:24,400 Speaker 1: but that they should come to us because he, like, 747 00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:26,320 Speaker 1: I think he doesn't like the idea of them having 748 00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:29,440 Speaker 1: income that they can then use that he wants to 749 00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:34,000 Speaker 1: keep maintain the improving or disapproving you know, just stuff 750 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,960 Speaker 1: like if we you know, if we go to you know, 751 00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:40,440 Speaker 1: we went to Dutch Wonderland recently. The amusement park has 752 00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:44,120 Speaker 1: a holiday thing where you can go and you know, 753 00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:46,560 Speaker 1: if the kids thought that they could use their own 754 00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,799 Speaker 1: money to like play those stupid games, for instance, like 755 00:36:50,239 --> 00:36:53,120 Speaker 1: he likes to be able to stop them. I think, 756 00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:55,000 Speaker 1: you know, we would totally let them, would you like 757 00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:59,040 Speaker 1: them money? And then that's a lesson, and we do 758 00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:00,880 Speaker 1: a week on trips, we give them like a special 759 00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:04,000 Speaker 1: I forgot, so like we'll give them forty dollars or 760 00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:05,440 Speaker 1: something if we go on a week long trip, and 761 00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:07,959 Speaker 1: then they can buy a big thing or a couple 762 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,960 Speaker 1: of small things. So that's almost like another an extension. 763 00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:12,400 Speaker 1: So I guess we're kind of like super into the 764 00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,480 Speaker 1: allowance thing. Well, we'll do something like that in oc 765 00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:16,160 Speaker 1: like if we've gone on a trip, we'll say, well 766 00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:19,120 Speaker 1: everyone can get you know, one souvenir from this trip 767 00:37:19,239 --> 00:37:22,120 Speaker 1: up to twenty dollars and then they sort of look 768 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:25,040 Speaker 1: around the gift store and figure out how, you know, 769 00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:27,759 Speaker 1: to add. That's kind of like allowing okay, so but 770 00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:29,879 Speaker 1: somehow that doesn't seem to cause a problem. I don't 771 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:33,520 Speaker 1: know anyway, we have not. Yeah, so at this point 772 00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:35,640 Speaker 1: we just you know, if they ask us for the 773 00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:37,520 Speaker 1: thing is they honestly, they don't ask us for a 774 00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:40,960 Speaker 1: whole lot of stuff. So we'll see how this evolves 775 00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:43,680 Speaker 1: over time, because this can't last. I mean, and at 776 00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:46,040 Speaker 1: some point they're going to be doing stuff with their 777 00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:47,640 Speaker 1: friends on their own. I mean, am I going to 778 00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:49,560 Speaker 1: give them money every time they go out? I think 779 00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,799 Speaker 1: there needs to be some sort of personal kind of 780 00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:56,680 Speaker 1: control over it. But I also don't think that, you know, 781 00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:01,200 Speaker 1: I particularly think it would be a great idea for 782 00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:03,560 Speaker 1: them to be trying to like do lots of jobs 783 00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:07,279 Speaker 1: right during you know, high school, for instance, which is 784 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:10,399 Speaker 1: something that you might do if you were I think 785 00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:12,520 Speaker 1: we both did. Yeah, well I did. I mean I 786 00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:15,840 Speaker 1: did jobs, and I baby said, I like worked at 787 00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:19,520 Speaker 1: the video store, did like all kinds of dumb not dumb. 788 00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:21,600 Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess I learned things I loved 789 00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:25,160 Speaker 1: being a camp counselor actually really well, I think could 790 00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:28,200 Speaker 1: be fine. I just I don't know. I think probably 791 00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:33,200 Speaker 1: that time might be better spent on like studying and 792 00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:35,879 Speaker 1: all that, like during the school year, and so who knows, 793 00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:39,680 Speaker 1: during the school year. Definitely, definitely, Yeah, we have got 794 00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:42,120 Speaker 1: to sort this out at some point. So far, it's 795 00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:45,000 Speaker 1: been okay to just kind of be the reins of 796 00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:48,040 Speaker 1: it that they haven't asked to spend their money on 797 00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:52,960 Speaker 1: stuff much. But we'll see, we'll see how that that develops. 798 00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:56,640 Speaker 1: We'll update this in a year, an update in a year. 799 00:38:57,440 --> 00:39:01,960 Speaker 1: All right, so you know the let's let's just go 800 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,040 Speaker 1: over because we're this is gonna be a long one 801 00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:06,600 Speaker 1: yard Yeah, this is it's gonna be a two part 802 00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:10,400 Speaker 1: let's go. Let's let's move to the earning question. Okay, 803 00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:15,200 Speaker 1: because I think that, I mean, you knew going into 804 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:19,320 Speaker 1: medicine that that it was a fairly high paying career 805 00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:22,279 Speaker 1: other than you were choosing. Were you evaluating specialties at 806 00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:24,200 Speaker 1: all based on and come out and high school work? 807 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:29,120 Speaker 1: Was Josh? No, And I know, no, definitely not. That's 808 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:34,359 Speaker 1: neither of I mean, I felt in medicine or at 809 00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:36,759 Speaker 1: least maybe compared to my upbringing. I mean, even if 810 00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:39,279 Speaker 1: I had been a family met you know, it didn't 811 00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,919 Speaker 1: matter what specialty. They're all like a decent wage. They're all. 812 00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:45,879 Speaker 1: It's pretty hard to actually not make six figures. I'm 813 00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:49,960 Speaker 1: sure there are exceptions, like like an academic pediatrician. Uh, 814 00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:52,440 Speaker 1: some of my colleagues actually Impede's ENDO is one of 815 00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:55,120 Speaker 1: the lowest paying of the pediatric subspecialties. So if you 816 00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:58,600 Speaker 1: go to an academic center, you could possibly find a 817 00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:00,759 Speaker 1: non six figure job, but that would be hard to do. 818 00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:03,520 Speaker 1: So I knew that no matter what I picked, it 819 00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:06,319 Speaker 1: was going to be decent, and I might as well 820 00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:08,480 Speaker 1: pick something that I thought was really fun and rewarding. 821 00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,839 Speaker 1: So I did not have financials figure and in fact, 822 00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:14,400 Speaker 1: you know, in retrospect sometimes I wonder if that was 823 00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:17,720 Speaker 1: smart I had. I'm got a brag. I had great 824 00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:19,920 Speaker 1: test scores, like I'm a good test taker, and like 825 00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:24,200 Speaker 1: on my boards. You know, pediatrics doesn't usually have great 826 00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:26,279 Speaker 1: board scores, like you don't need high board scores like 827 00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:27,640 Speaker 1: I had the kind of board scores. If I had 828 00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:29,839 Speaker 1: been interested in something like dermatology, I could have done 829 00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:32,799 Speaker 1: it where I probably could work like two days a 830 00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:36,000 Speaker 1: week and earn like a lot of money six figures. 831 00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:39,200 Speaker 1: You know, I didn't do that. I ended up instead 832 00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:42,320 Speaker 1: doing something that's not as high paying, but it's still 833 00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:45,200 Speaker 1: pretty well paying, especially the type of job that I 834 00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:47,680 Speaker 1: took and in the market that I took. So no, 835 00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:50,439 Speaker 1: it didn't go into it. Maybe it could have more, 836 00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:53,080 Speaker 1: but I'm pretty happy how it turned out. And same 837 00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:55,759 Speaker 1: with Josh. I mean, he enjoys the procedural subspecialties which 838 00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:58,600 Speaker 1: tend to pay more, but that was not a conscious 839 00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:02,160 Speaker 1: decision made on payment and a phrase that my husband 840 00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:03,560 Speaker 1: likes to say, is I just want to take care 841 00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:05,160 Speaker 1: of patients, Like that's what he used to say, and 842 00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:07,400 Speaker 1: he'll say that even to the point where it's like, 843 00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:09,440 Speaker 1: so I'm not going to really negotiate my salary. But 844 00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:12,200 Speaker 1: at some point I was like, listen, this is our family, 845 00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:14,000 Speaker 1: this is our kids, this is your time. So you 846 00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:15,719 Speaker 1: have to actually stop saying that you can take care 847 00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:18,440 Speaker 1: of patients and I can pay you what you're worth, 848 00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:20,600 Speaker 1: Like these things are not at odds, Like you're going 849 00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:22,880 Speaker 1: to take care of your patients both ways. So I 850 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:26,040 Speaker 1: made exactly exactly so, but no neither of us factored 851 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:31,400 Speaker 1: in our specialty choice at all. No, that's a you know, 852 00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:35,000 Speaker 1: I when I wrote I'm very interested in this question 853 00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:38,480 Speaker 1: of like women and money and earning and all that, 854 00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:42,200 Speaker 1: because I think women don't necessarily grow up with stories 855 00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:45,360 Speaker 1: of what they need to earn to support a family 856 00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:49,040 Speaker 1: in the same way that men do. That there is 857 00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:53,480 Speaker 1: you know, certainly many women wind up going into not 858 00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:54,920 Speaker 1: not as many as you might think. I when I 859 00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:56,640 Speaker 1: did the research for I know how she does it 860 00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:58,600 Speaker 1: because I was looking into writing about women in six 861 00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:02,279 Speaker 1: figure careers, only like four percent of women and these 862 00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:04,439 Speaker 1: are US figures. By the way US dollars, Only about 863 00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:07,560 Speaker 1: four percent of women earn six figures a year. I mean, 864 00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:11,600 Speaker 1: it's really low for you know, and it's more than 865 00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:13,120 Speaker 1: that for men. I mean it's not a huge amount 866 00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:16,359 Speaker 1: more than that, but it's definitely The proportion of six 867 00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:21,720 Speaker 1: figure earners who are women is relatively low for various reasons. 868 00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:24,640 Speaker 1: I mean, because a you generally have to choose certain careers, 869 00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:26,759 Speaker 1: you know, and I know that this is one of 870 00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:29,520 Speaker 1: the feedback we get. Obviously, you know, once you've chosen 871 00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:31,200 Speaker 1: a career, it's sort of harder to move out of 872 00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:33,799 Speaker 1: a range of what the salary is, and so then 873 00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:36,839 Speaker 1: that all this stuff about you know, what you can 874 00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:40,359 Speaker 1: spend on various things is sort of less relevant. But 875 00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:43,480 Speaker 1: you know, when you're making these career choices going in, 876 00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:46,960 Speaker 1: I think women often don't think about it with the 877 00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:50,840 Speaker 1: same urgency that men might, because a lot of women 878 00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:53,400 Speaker 1: do not grow up thinking I might need to support 879 00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:57,439 Speaker 1: a family on my own, and men are more likely 880 00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:59,560 Speaker 1: to think that that might be a scenario that would 881 00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:02,239 Speaker 1: happen at some point in their lives, and so it 882 00:43:02,239 --> 00:43:07,880 Speaker 1: affects what you go into. But you know, it's I 883 00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:11,200 Speaker 1: think that it's something that it would probably help if 884 00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:14,239 Speaker 1: more women did grow up thinking that way, A because 885 00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:16,200 Speaker 1: a lot of women will wind up supporting their whole 886 00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:19,200 Speaker 1: family on their own at some point, you know, whether 887 00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:23,960 Speaker 1: through your choice or because of circumstance. And also just 888 00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:29,400 Speaker 1: you know, the big jobs are often more family friendly, 889 00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:32,839 Speaker 1: I would say than one might anticipate, partly because as 890 00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:35,960 Speaker 1: you move into sort of these professional jobs or higher 891 00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,520 Speaker 1: up the ladder of various things, you have more autonomy 892 00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:42,759 Speaker 1: and control over your time, which gives you more flexibility, 893 00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:46,520 Speaker 1: and then you have the cash to make certain aspects 894 00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:50,440 Speaker 1: of balancing work in life far more doable, like if 895 00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:54,239 Speaker 1: you need an extra hour of babysitting because you've got 896 00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:56,880 Speaker 1: a meeting that's running late, it's not you know, a 897 00:43:57,000 --> 00:44:01,480 Speaker 1: huge deal, right, which it could be, and other circumstances, 898 00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:05,680 Speaker 1: And so you know, I think I didn't necessarily grow 899 00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:07,759 Speaker 1: up with anyone telling me I needed to earn a 900 00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:11,720 Speaker 1: lot of money and and I did, you know, marry 901 00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:15,160 Speaker 1: a guy who was earning more than me. But I've 902 00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:19,920 Speaker 1: been I've been pretty you know, gung ho about doing it. 903 00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:22,520 Speaker 1: It's it's a side of my personality. I guess. I 904 00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:26,440 Speaker 1: decided to find myself and have been you know, kind 905 00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:28,440 Speaker 1: of cool to see what you can do to to 906 00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:32,239 Speaker 1: you know, raise your income over time. So you know, 907 00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:36,640 Speaker 1: I think that we're talking about how to sort of 908 00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:39,720 Speaker 1: think about your earning potential. I think one of the 909 00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:42,480 Speaker 1: real big things that would be important for women is 910 00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:45,560 Speaker 1: if you are scaling down or taking some time out 911 00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:48,080 Speaker 1: to be very serious about thinking about your earning potential 912 00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:50,759 Speaker 1: for getting back in Like, you don't want to get 913 00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:53,960 Speaker 1: yourself to a place where you can't earn you know, 914 00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:58,120 Speaker 1: a reasonable amount in the future. And you've you've thought 915 00:44:58,120 --> 00:44:59,960 Speaker 1: about this a lot. So I mean, medicine is good, 916 00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:02,480 Speaker 1: this and that when you scale down a little bit, 917 00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:05,480 Speaker 1: you can often scale right that guy, right, yep, you 918 00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:07,279 Speaker 1: can scale right back. But if you could tell your 919 00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:09,400 Speaker 1: person tomorrow, schedule me for a full week and they 920 00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:14,560 Speaker 1: would do it, Yes, yes, one hundred percent. And you know, 921 00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:18,160 Speaker 1: going back a little bit about how having a job 922 00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:22,319 Speaker 1: that earns a decent salary is helpful in making work 923 00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:24,959 Speaker 1: in life fit together. I mean that's something that we've 924 00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:28,880 Speaker 1: gotten a lot of you know, feedback, positive or negative 925 00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:34,279 Speaker 1: on this podcast. But it is true. It's an undeniable truth. 926 00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:36,359 Speaker 1: And you know that doesn't change the fact that it's 927 00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:38,759 Speaker 1: it is difficult for some people who have already kind 928 00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:44,400 Speaker 1: of gotten settled in lower income tracks. But that said, 929 00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:48,640 Speaker 1: I think nowadays there are more and more people doing 930 00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:52,319 Speaker 1: creative things with their skill sets, whether that be a 931 00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:55,680 Speaker 1: side hustle or looking to see how they could, you know, 932 00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:57,719 Speaker 1: use those skills in a related field that's not the 933 00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:00,480 Speaker 1: same like maybe you're a teacher, but then you're going 934 00:46:00,560 --> 00:46:02,640 Speaker 1: to start your own tutoring business or become a consultant 935 00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:08,319 Speaker 1: for a like exactly the things you could do differently. Yeah, 936 00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:10,920 Speaker 1: So I think it's I think it's just a valid 937 00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:13,720 Speaker 1: approach as any And you know, I was just thinking, 938 00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:15,439 Speaker 1: you know, there's there's only two ways to make things 939 00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:17,480 Speaker 1: easier on the money side. There's spend less and earn more. 940 00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:20,360 Speaker 1: And I think earn more has its value and doesn't 941 00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:24,279 Speaker 1: always get it's due, especially with women on the spend 942 00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:26,719 Speaker 1: less side of things. I will admit that I enjoy 943 00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:29,440 Speaker 1: reading those things too. Uh, Laura and I both I 944 00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:31,880 Speaker 1: think from time to time read The Frugal Girl's blog. 945 00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:35,359 Speaker 1: She's she comments on on Laura's blog as well, and 946 00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:37,480 Speaker 1: it's so interesting because I feel like I'm coming from 947 00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:39,319 Speaker 1: a different world. And yet I think her tips are 948 00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:42,440 Speaker 1: fascinating and I think there's value to how she does 949 00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:45,480 Speaker 1: things with her family, even though it's like a completely 950 00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:47,919 Speaker 1: it's just entirely different from from the Way with you. Yeah, 951 00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:49,840 Speaker 1: it's a great blog The Frugal Girl. Definitely check that 952 00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:53,800 Speaker 1: one out. She's got lots of cheerful tips on living frugally, 953 00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:57,000 Speaker 1: which is better than the sort of gosh, the what's 954 00:46:57,080 --> 00:46:59,279 Speaker 1: his name mister money mustache, which is you know, all 955 00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:04,600 Speaker 1: about wanting to you know. But she clearly finds joy 956 00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:11,360 Speaker 1: in the creativity and thriving so angrily aggressively spend less money. 957 00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:16,320 Speaker 1: Yeah no, no, totally on that. So but you decided 958 00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:18,320 Speaker 1: it was worth it for you to go down a 959 00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:21,399 Speaker 1: little bit. I mean, partly this podcast exists because you're you're, 960 00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:23,719 Speaker 1: you know, looking to do other things with at least 961 00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:27,680 Speaker 1: one day a week of your life. Yeah. For me, 962 00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:31,160 Speaker 1: I just the difference between having some wiggle room in 963 00:47:31,239 --> 00:47:36,680 Speaker 1: my schedule and none was so vast. And because to 964 00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:39,360 Speaker 1: be honest, I can still earn a decent living working 965 00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:42,920 Speaker 1: four days a week and still feel like I'm contributing 966 00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:46,160 Speaker 1: stanifinitely to our family. It kind of was once we 967 00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:48,120 Speaker 1: kind of thought about it. It was an easy decision 968 00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:53,520 Speaker 1: to make. Yeah, I could see doing more later. In fact, 969 00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:58,200 Speaker 1: depending on what happens with my work responsibilities, it's possible 970 00:47:58,200 --> 00:47:59,960 Speaker 1: I may have some more flexibility. So I thought, well, 971 00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:02,600 Speaker 1: maybe that means I could add more time. Josh is 972 00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:05,239 Speaker 1: sort of against it, because I think he likes that 973 00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:06,520 Speaker 1: I have a whole day that I could go to 974 00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:09,600 Speaker 1: the parent teacher conferences or do podcasts or you know whatever. 975 00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:12,879 Speaker 1: So we'll see what happens. But it is certainly true 976 00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:15,560 Speaker 1: that I could could scale up at any moment should 977 00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:17,960 Speaker 1: we need or want to. Well, that's good. That's good 978 00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:21,040 Speaker 1: to make sure that that is there. And I mean 979 00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:22,600 Speaker 1: the sort of a thing I sort of take for 980 00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:25,239 Speaker 1: granted with self employment because it's always possible, is sort 981 00:48:25,280 --> 00:48:27,480 Speaker 1: of scale up in the sense that you just market 982 00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:29,880 Speaker 1: yourself more aggressively, right like reach out to all the 983 00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:31,879 Speaker 1: people you've worked with in the past and be like, hey, 984 00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:34,000 Speaker 1: we'd love to do more, and then there you are. 985 00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:37,799 Speaker 1: Something will usually come back. But you know, it's a 986 00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:40,200 Speaker 1: question of how much you're putting into that at any 987 00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:42,720 Speaker 1: given point. All Right, what do we love to spend 988 00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:46,719 Speaker 1: money on? Yeah, this is lightning long. We could we 989 00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:48,239 Speaker 1: could skip a question. I leave that up to you 990 00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:51,239 Speaker 1: if you want. I like this, Okay, well what do 991 00:48:51,239 --> 00:48:52,960 Speaker 1: you What do we love to spend money on? So 992 00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:57,120 Speaker 1: I do like eating in good restaurants. I find that 993 00:48:57,120 --> 00:49:01,120 Speaker 1: that is something I enjoy spending money on. I have 994 00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:05,640 Speaker 1: also taught myself to buy books with slightly less of 995 00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:11,800 Speaker 1: that pain factor, like the physical pain of spending money, 996 00:49:12,560 --> 00:49:15,040 Speaker 1: because you're supporting. I've read one of my friends and 997 00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:17,480 Speaker 1: if everyone felt that it was painful to buy books, 998 00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:23,399 Speaker 1: we'd have an issue in terms of my livelihood. So yeah, 999 00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:26,879 Speaker 1: I like to buy books and feel happy spending money 1000 00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:30,760 Speaker 1: on that. How about you? I like to buy everything. 1001 00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:34,279 Speaker 1: You know, I'm not I mean like a sort of 1002 00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:37,680 Speaker 1: tongue in cheeic, but like I take pleasure in buying 1003 00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:40,160 Speaker 1: things for the most part, even and when it's like 1004 00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:42,200 Speaker 1: I'm paying or nanny or I'm paying for camp, I 1005 00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:43,680 Speaker 1: just like like, oh I can do this. I save 1006 00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:45,240 Speaker 1: for it, and I did it. So I like it. 1007 00:49:45,320 --> 00:49:48,279 Speaker 1: In terms of like indulgences, I like buying nicer sunscreen 1008 00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:51,439 Speaker 1: and bath products and like, I don't know, like make 1009 00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:53,920 Speaker 1: up that kind of a thing. Maybe because during childhood 1010 00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:56,640 Speaker 1: I felt like even our Suave conditioner was like rash, 1011 00:49:56,680 --> 00:50:01,440 Speaker 1: and so it's a rebellion thing. I love buying stationary 1012 00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:03,880 Speaker 1: products and I actually you said you you do Target 1013 00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:06,480 Speaker 1: for your kids clothes. But I love Tea collection and 1014 00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:10,400 Speaker 1: Boden and really enjoy spending a little bit on our kids. 1015 00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:13,360 Speaker 1: We've add we add water to the conditioner at the 1016 00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:15,920 Speaker 1: end the shampoo to get it out, which I probably 1017 00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:17,919 Speaker 1: is what you grew up with, right, Like, so that's 1018 00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:22,320 Speaker 1: your kids. Your kids are gonna have some expensive cosmetic habits. 1019 00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:26,880 Speaker 1: Possibly you shall see, all right, what is it? Pain? Money? Everything? 1020 00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:30,719 Speaker 1: We're having this this conversation, I don't know for some reason, 1021 00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:33,440 Speaker 1: like shopping at Costco in particular, it fills me with dread, 1022 00:50:34,239 --> 00:50:36,360 Speaker 1: you know, and I like to go for sometimes because 1023 00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:39,400 Speaker 1: they they have good deals. And yet you're still like 1024 00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:41,680 Speaker 1: buying a lot of stuff, and it's always expensive all 1025 00:50:41,719 --> 00:50:45,800 Speaker 1: where they are buy like you even if per paper 1026 00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:48,080 Speaker 1: towel roll it's cheap, like you're you're spending a lot 1027 00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:50,279 Speaker 1: then on paper towel. But we use it. We use it. 1028 00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:52,160 Speaker 1: We use all that toilet paper, we use all that 1029 00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:59,480 Speaker 1: parbasan cheek to stack this stuff. Dishwasher detergent, tied laundry. Yeah, 1030 00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:02,919 Speaker 1: you are so underby is so interesting. The only things 1031 00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:04,640 Speaker 1: I can I could think of to answer this question 1032 00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:07,359 Speaker 1: yours was like everything. I was like wind insurance because 1033 00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:10,600 Speaker 1: the deductible, that's like nobody wants. It's a lot. So 1034 00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:12,600 Speaker 1: I'm like, we're really never going to get anything out 1035 00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:15,120 Speaker 1: of this. But anyway, and then also that that horrible 1036 00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:17,600 Speaker 1: letdown if you do splurge on some super expensive dinner 1037 00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:21,359 Speaker 1: and then it wasn't that good. But I mean, who doesn't. Yeah, 1038 00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:23,640 Speaker 1: that's right. You never love spending money on things that 1039 00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:26,520 Speaker 1: you don't feel like you're getting your money's worth out of. 1040 00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:29,040 Speaker 1: That's always said, all right, let's go to the question. 1041 00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:33,239 Speaker 1: Let's get through this. So our listener wrote that her 1042 00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:35,839 Speaker 1: husband and her live about fifteen hundred miles from his 1043 00:51:35,920 --> 00:51:39,000 Speaker 1: family and almost four thousand miles from her family. Any 1044 00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:41,880 Speaker 1: tips for how to use our vacation time so that 1045 00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:44,080 Speaker 1: both of us can see each other's family. Only a 1046 00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:46,080 Speaker 1: few members of each family are able to visit us, 1047 00:51:46,160 --> 00:51:48,520 Speaker 1: so that we can take some trips to other destinations. 1048 00:51:48,760 --> 00:51:51,200 Speaker 1: We often each visit our own family separately, but it 1049 00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:53,880 Speaker 1: would be nice to take more trips together. I was 1050 00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:56,320 Speaker 1: sort of wondering from this if they don't have children, 1051 00:51:57,160 --> 00:52:01,680 Speaker 1: but maybe they do, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, 1052 00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:03,719 Speaker 1: you're right, because if they're taking trips separately, unless they're 1053 00:52:03,719 --> 00:52:06,520 Speaker 1: like breaking up the children, like each takes the children 1054 00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:08,239 Speaker 1: and leaves the others, I don't know, because the other 1055 00:52:08,280 --> 00:52:10,160 Speaker 1: can't get on work. Maybe that's how they're doing. But 1056 00:52:10,239 --> 00:52:14,880 Speaker 1: we'll answer it with both options. I think the biggest 1057 00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:17,000 Speaker 1: thing is that frequency matters more than the duration, and 1058 00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:21,200 Speaker 1: I have found that in my life, like I you know, 1059 00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:22,799 Speaker 1: if I take a weekend, it can be just as 1060 00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:25,560 Speaker 1: fulfilling as taking two weeks. So I think they need 1061 00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:28,560 Speaker 1: to make use of three day weekends or paid time 1062 00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:31,359 Speaker 1: off to take short trips to visit the ones they love, 1063 00:52:31,480 --> 00:52:34,799 Speaker 1: you know, short but intense can work. I also think 1064 00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:37,560 Speaker 1: they could build in some traditions there, like I believe 1065 00:52:37,560 --> 00:52:40,120 Speaker 1: this came from the Happier podcast, but like you know, 1066 00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:42,520 Speaker 1: Memorial Day is the time that they all go and visit, 1067 00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:44,920 Speaker 1: you know, the aunt and the parents go too. You know, 1068 00:52:45,160 --> 00:52:48,040 Speaker 1: if they start to have some no brainer destinations that 1069 00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:49,680 Speaker 1: they do every year, then they don't have to think 1070 00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:53,719 Speaker 1: about it. It's built in and it doesn't necessarily have 1071 00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:56,920 Speaker 1: to be a super long thing, but it'll become kind 1072 00:52:56,920 --> 00:52:58,920 Speaker 1: of an institution if they're doing it all the time. Yeah, 1073 00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:02,720 Speaker 1: I mean you can certainly travel, like even plane trips, 1074 00:53:02,719 --> 00:53:04,239 Speaker 1: you don't have to go for that long. I mean 1075 00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:06,400 Speaker 1: sometimes it seems like, well I've since I've gotten on 1076 00:53:06,440 --> 00:53:08,279 Speaker 1: the flight, I may as well stay for a long time. 1077 00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:11,120 Speaker 1: But as I've learned from work travel, that's not the case. 1078 00:53:11,239 --> 00:53:13,040 Speaker 1: I mean, you could be in and out of, you know, 1079 00:53:13,160 --> 00:53:17,719 Speaker 1: someplace in a very quick amount of time. So, you know, 1080 00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:22,000 Speaker 1: we're thinking about doing budgeting more for that and sort 1081 00:53:22,040 --> 00:53:25,719 Speaker 1: of less for other things. Or maybe they have jobs 1082 00:53:25,760 --> 00:53:27,680 Speaker 1: where they travel and get frequent with hire miles for 1083 00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:31,440 Speaker 1: that could use it for family travel too. But yeah, 1084 00:53:31,480 --> 00:53:35,080 Speaker 1: you know, I think using some of the longer weekends 1085 00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:38,040 Speaker 1: and so then that they could commit to taking a 1086 00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:41,120 Speaker 1: family vacation not to visit other family, you know, once 1087 00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:43,520 Speaker 1: a year, would would be helpful for at least feeling like, 1088 00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:47,279 Speaker 1: well we do this sometimes that not our entire you know, 1089 00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:50,600 Speaker 1: paid time off budget is used up through only family travel. 1090 00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:52,560 Speaker 1: I think that would help with this perspective as well. 1091 00:53:53,600 --> 00:53:55,839 Speaker 1: I'm surprised that they do this separate thing. I wonder 1092 00:53:55,840 --> 00:53:58,239 Speaker 1: if that'll. Yeah, that's why I was wondering about the kids, 1093 00:53:58,239 --> 00:54:01,160 Speaker 1: because I just don't see that being that's true. Something 1094 00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:03,839 Speaker 1: true would but maybe maybe because that could actually be, 1095 00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:06,239 Speaker 1: you know, take one kid to go visit grandma and 1096 00:54:06,239 --> 00:54:07,680 Speaker 1: the other takes the other kid to go visit the 1097 00:54:07,680 --> 00:54:10,560 Speaker 1: other grandma and then hey, you've done your thing. I 1098 00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:13,560 Speaker 1: don't know, maybe switch off the next year. I hadn't 1099 00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:17,440 Speaker 1: really pondered that could work. Well, somebody listening to this 1100 00:54:17,560 --> 00:54:19,279 Speaker 1: is that's what they do with their family, then please 1101 00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:21,200 Speaker 1: write in and let us know how you do it. 1102 00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:23,040 Speaker 1: All right, Sarah, your love of the week. We've been 1103 00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:27,120 Speaker 1: talking some other loves, but we'll get this one in. Yeah, 1104 00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:29,920 Speaker 1: this was not super budget. I have these really pretty, 1105 00:54:29,920 --> 00:54:33,080 Speaker 1: sparkly badgly Mishkas shoes that I just wore. And the 1106 00:54:33,080 --> 00:54:34,680 Speaker 1: first time I'd wore them, I was pregnant, so they 1107 00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:37,160 Speaker 1: weren't very comfortable, but this time it wasn't and I 1108 00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:39,200 Speaker 1: was like wow, for like three and a half in cheels, 1109 00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:41,839 Speaker 1: these are great and they were so pretty, and yeah, 1110 00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:43,960 Speaker 1: so those are my lovely I'm going to go with 1111 00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:47,120 Speaker 1: a Dutch Wonderland, which I mentioned earlier in this episode 1112 00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:50,560 Speaker 1: was our amusement park place we went, but some a 1113 00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:52,640 Speaker 1: lot of places, I mean Sesamme Plice does this too, 1114 00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:55,600 Speaker 1: Like during the winter, they'll open up for holiday weekends 1115 00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:58,680 Speaker 1: before Christmas, and you know, they don't have all the 1116 00:54:58,760 --> 00:55:02,080 Speaker 1: rides running. Obviously, the water rides are not running because 1117 00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:04,680 Speaker 1: it's a frozen outside. But if you can go on 1118 00:55:04,719 --> 00:55:08,320 Speaker 1: a day that's like forty degrees, it's actually relatively pleasant. 1119 00:55:08,320 --> 00:55:10,440 Speaker 1: And then you see all the lights and you know, 1120 00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:13,680 Speaker 1: you can ride some rides and it's a fun family 1121 00:55:13,800 --> 00:55:16,920 Speaker 1: active thing to do that. You know, in winter it 1122 00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:19,960 Speaker 1: starts being a lot of indoor stuff and gets boring 1123 00:55:20,040 --> 00:55:22,840 Speaker 1: going to the same children's museum over and over again. 1124 00:55:22,960 --> 00:55:25,719 Speaker 1: So just something to switch up. And in terms of 1125 00:55:25,719 --> 00:55:27,920 Speaker 1: this money episode, it was it was very cheap. Like 1126 00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:30,239 Speaker 1: as I mentioned, it was, you know, because not all 1127 00:55:30,239 --> 00:55:32,920 Speaker 1: the rides are open. They were charging a lot less 1128 00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:36,239 Speaker 1: than they were for the summer visit, so we wound 1129 00:55:36,280 --> 00:55:39,120 Speaker 1: up having a rather frugal family fun day, which I'm 1130 00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:41,560 Speaker 1: always a fan of. Anyway, this has been best at 1131 00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:44,240 Speaker 1: both worlds. We've been talking our money stories, so tune 1132 00:55:44,239 --> 00:55:46,080 Speaker 1: in next week for more on making work in life 1133 00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:52,640 Speaker 1: fit together. Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah 1134 00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:56,560 Speaker 1: at the shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox 1135 00:55:56,640 --> 00:56:00,439 Speaker 1: on Instagram, and you can find me Laura at Laura 1136 00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:03,719 Speaker 1: vandercam dot com. This has been the best of both 1137 00:56:03,760 --> 00:56:07,279 Speaker 1: worlds podcasts. Please join us next time for more on 1138 00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:09,320 Speaker 1: making work and life work together.