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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that wants CBS to do a

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Speaker 1: spin off show called How I Met Your Third Stepfather.

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Speaker 2: In details more fun to They're a little.

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Speaker 1: Murky on the content, but it might just go straight

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Speaker 1: to Paramount Plus skip the network with Laser Stories, the

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Speaker 1: segment where we read weird news stories around the globe.

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Speaker 3: Just like everyone else does.

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Speaker 1: A tip, We've got a laser of other step shows,

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Speaker 1: just don't This first Laser Story is out of the

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Speaker 1: top content provider for mediocre radio shows this year. Yes,

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Speaker 1: the award goes to Florida.

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Speaker 2: Yes, so much anticipation, and I already knew who it was.

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Speaker 1: Forty five year old man named Stephen Kusomano stopped at

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Speaker 1: a kid's lemonade stand the other day. He bought one

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Speaker 1: glass of lemonade, downed it, and then asked for a

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Speaker 1: free refill. Okay it was the adult that Yeah, When

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Speaker 1: the kids told him that he would have to pay

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Speaker 1: for another coupled lemonade.

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Speaker 2: Stand your ground, kids, he got irate.

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Speaker 3: Luckily, really, I want to speak to your manager.

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Speaker 1: Luckily there was a mom at the stand overseeing it all,

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Speaker 1: and she told Stephen to calm down. His response, he

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Speaker 1: grabbed her by the wrist aggressively and threatened to beat

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Speaker 1: her up. You can do it, God, go Florida.

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Speaker 2: You know that lemonade went straight to his brain.

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Speaker 1: Okay. He eventually walked away and the lady called the cops. Yes,

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Speaker 1: they tracked Stephen down and arrested him. Go. He confirmed

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Speaker 1: the woman's story, but said he grabbed her because she

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Speaker 1: was talking crap to him.

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Speaker 2: That's right, I'm sure.

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Speaker 1: In the end, Stephen was charged with felony battery, but

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Speaker 1: made sure that the cops knew. The lemonade stand did

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Speaker 1: not have a sign that said no free refills, so

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Speaker 1: technically he was in the right.

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Speaker 2: Okay. I don't think that it's assumed that you get

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Speaker 2: free recall. I'm pretty sure it will say free refills.

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Speaker 2: That's the sign that you're looking for.

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Speaker 1: This next Lazer story is out of Las Vegas. A

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Speaker 1: man is upset after his emotional support animals were taken

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Speaker 1: from him. The animals in question his seven adult tigers. Yes,

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Speaker 1: his name is Carl Mitchell and he's the owner of

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Speaker 1: Big Cats Entertainment. Okay, but says the tigers are much

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Speaker 1: more than a money maker for him. He said he

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Speaker 1: struggles with PTSD and was even able to produce a

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Speaker 1: document from the VA hospital approving his tigers as emotional

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Speaker 1: support pets.

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Speaker 2: Okay, if they were my pets, the tigers would be

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Speaker 2: the cause of my PTSD.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, he says.

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Speaker 1: The cats could sense whenever he's sad, and one would

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Speaker 1: even rub on his leg like a house cat to

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Speaker 1: make him feel better, to.

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Speaker 2: See how much meats on those That's what he's doing.

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Speaker 1: Don't forget to go pet my cut shark in the

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Speaker 1: Just rub some blood on yourself so that he rubs

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Speaker 1: up against you.

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Speaker 3: He loves it.

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Speaker 1: However, Carl could not explain his alleged illegal zoo that

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Speaker 1: he was charging people admission for there.

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Speaker 2: It is it was an emotional support zoom.

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Speaker 3: Ye oh.

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Speaker 1: And he also did resist arrests and try to fight

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Speaker 1: a deputy, although he did have a document from the VA.

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Speaker 1: His doctor says it's okay for him to fight deputies

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Speaker 1: for his emotional health sometime. But after it was all done,

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Speaker 1: he wanted to remind the officers that they should treat

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Speaker 1: him as a good person. Because six of his seven

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Speaker 1: cats were rescued from Joe Exotic, the jailed star of

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Speaker 1: Tiger King.

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Speaker 2: These cats, yeah, these four tigers Joe Exotic to this

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Speaker 2: guy in Vegas.

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Speaker 1: Since then, those tigers have been relocated to a big

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Speaker 1: cat sanctuary. No word on if the owner of that

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Speaker 1: has any relation to Carol Baskin. Perhaps did she set

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Speaker 1: this whole thing up just to get more cats.

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Speaker 3: I'm tossing it out there.

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Speaker 1: This next laser story is out of holiday headquarters.

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Speaker 2: Already.

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Speaker 3: Easters right around the corner. Okay, and eggs are so expensive.

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Speaker 1: If some people are planning to die potatoes this year,

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Speaker 1: and okay, it's actually not a new idea. The marketing

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Speaker 1: group Potatoes USA tried to make it a thing a

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Speaker 1: few years back, as food prices were rising. Peta also

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Speaker 1: wanted the White House Easter egg role to use potatoes.

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Speaker 3: Last year.

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Speaker 1: That didn't happen, but with prices so high, there's been

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Speaker 1: more talk of it.

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Speaker 2: I gotta say, like, you know, I make some egg

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Speaker 2: salad after our Easter egg huh, but some mashed potatoes

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Speaker 2: after that.

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Speaker 1: Even the New York Times did a story on how

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Speaker 1: to die or paint your potatoes.

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Speaker 3: Potato this is your moment, yes.

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Speaker 2: Yes, especially little potatoes, little russet one.

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Speaker 1: So it's becoming less of a joke. Idea and more

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Speaker 1: of an actual strategy for saving money. Brook you grew

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Speaker 1: up in Spudsville, USA. Do you have any thoughts on this?

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Speaker 2: Here's a problem the part of Idaho I was in.

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Speaker 2: We literally got all of our potatoes from Washington. It

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Speaker 2: is a by Canada man. There's no there is no

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Speaker 2: potato growing. Well.

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Speaker 1: Eggs have the easter rabbit as their mascot. Maybe you

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Speaker 1: need to be the mascot for potatoes.

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Speaker 2: Potato.

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Speaker 3: Here comes the spud wench.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you could use those.

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Speaker 1: It comes every year and drops potatoes off the children.

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Speaker 3: This is all the mental image is great. This next

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Speaker 3: laser story is out of toilet town. Oh yeah, Brooks

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Speaker 3: favorite place.

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Speaker 2: Hey, this is like a laser story is for me.

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Speaker 1: A poll on bathroom emergencies looked at the worst possible

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Speaker 1: restroom options. Can you guess the number one place that

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Speaker 1: we don't want to go?

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Speaker 3: Number two?

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Speaker 2: Gas station concerts?

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Speaker 1: Okay, those might be on the list, but there was

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Speaker 1: one ahead of that.

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Speaker 2: Alexis didn't answer. Do you not go? Number two? Alexis

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Speaker 2: never okay? I think a lot of people think.

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Speaker 3: That is well.

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Speaker 1: Porta potties were voted the number one worst restroom options concerts. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: exactly fifty Americans rank them at the top.

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Speaker 2: God, and they're the worst in the summer. It's so

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Speaker 2: humid in there.

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Speaker 1: The rest of the worst five are gas station bathrooms. Okay,

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Speaker 1: those number two, Jose.

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Speaker 3: At least a lock in, like a solid door. There's

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Speaker 3: also toilets at public parks, at a beach and use

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Speaker 3: those toilets.

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Speaker 1: Restrooms at crowded concerts, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Not.

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Speaker 3: Regularly. It's an arena.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, taking outdoor festivals literally all the way around.

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Speaker 3: The arena, like you loop it a few times where

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Speaker 3: you get it. So happy to be a guy.

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Speaker 1: Every concert I go to girls, the line is always

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Speaker 1: double arms.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and you can just go on the wall. It's

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Speaker 3: a guy. It's kind of nice.

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Speaker 2: Wait a minute, as you can as a girl too,

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Speaker 2: if you try hard.

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Speaker 3: That's fair. Good point, bro.

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Speaker 2: You need tips. Text the showf Text.

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Speaker 3: The Potato Winch. She'll tell you that.

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Speaker 1: Toilets on buses and trains, that's always a problem. Airplane

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Speaker 1: bathrooms just missed the top five. They those were in

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Speaker 1: sixth place. And here are a few more stats from

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Speaker 1: the survey. The top three things that gross us out

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Speaker 1: in public bathrooms are people not flushing Yeah, when they

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Speaker 1: missed the toilet completely.

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Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, like, stop the hovering thing, just sit

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Speaker 2: down on the gosh darn.

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Speaker 3: Sea and also sticky floors.

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Speaker 1: Two thirds of Americans would rather do their business outside

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Speaker 1: than in a gross public bathroom. Yeah, I mean, you've

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Speaker 1: got some trees.

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Speaker 2: I's got it again. You got to dig a hole.

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Speaker 2: You do have to diggle hole.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well, plenty of us has done it.

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Speaker 1: Seventy six percent of people have gone in the woods,

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Speaker 1: half have peed on the side of the road, and

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Speaker 1: thirty six percent have peed in a body of water.

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Speaker 3: Before. That reminds you of the time we peeed on

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Speaker 3: the side of the road together.

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Speaker 2: Remember after a wet ends That was the great moment.

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Speaker 3: And we held the hands and we didn't get stop

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Speaker 3: and we peeled together side Spud Wenz strikes again.

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Speaker 1: We were Remember As for this guy, he actually uses

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Speaker 1: the gatorade bottle underneath desk.

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Speaker 3: Just never told him about it though.

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Speaker 2: I was wondering why it was warm.

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Speaker 3: Sound means Laser stories has come to an end for

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Speaker 3: the day. We'll do it again the same time on Wednesday.

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Speaker 2: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning