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Speaker 1: She gets on the mic and she says, we wanted

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Speaker 1: a knight to bless y'all, but really what we're here

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Speaker 1: for is for the last year, we've seen y'all fight

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Speaker 1: and tooth and nail and grind to pay off your

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Speaker 1: student loan debt. And just as much as Jesus has

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Speaker 1: paid the debt of your sins, we want you to

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Speaker 1: know that your debt free tonight. And we're like what

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Speaker 1: she goes, we've paid off. All of us here have

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Speaker 1: paid off the rest of your debt.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney.

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Speaker 2: I'm a normal guy. I'm a husband, I'm a father,

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Speaker 2: I'm an entrepreneur, and I've been a football coach in

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Speaker 2: Inner City Memphis. And that last part, well, it somehow

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Speaker 2: led to an oscar for the film about our team.

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Speaker 2: It's called Undefeated. Guys, I believe our country's problems will

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Speaker 2: never be solved by a bunch of fancy people and

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Speaker 2: nice suits using big words that nobody ever uses on

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Speaker 2: cinn in Fox, but rather by an army of normal folks.

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Speaker 2: That's us, just you and me deciding, hey, you know what,

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Speaker 2: maybe I can help. That's what Brandon and Ashley staffis

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Speaker 2: the voices you just start have done. Not only have

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Speaker 2: they been the beneficiaries of radical love from their own

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Speaker 2: army of normal folks, but they've also catalyzed this army

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Speaker 2: to bless many others too. I cannot wait for you

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Speaker 2: to meet them right after these brief messages from our

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Speaker 2: general sponsors, Brandon and Ashley, stay this.

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Speaker 1: It's whatever you want.

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Speaker 2: What is this Greek abbreviated name you've got here?

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Speaker 1: It used to be?

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Speaker 2: Now? Yeah, I did it right. Welcome to Memphis, I

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Speaker 2: think sure is going to be. Came from Austin, right.

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Speaker 2: How do you get from Austin to Memphis? I guess

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Speaker 2: you fly? There's no direct flight, is there?

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Speaker 1: They hit us to Atlanta, Phila Delta?

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Speaker 2: Yes? Well good. So you guys excited about the playoffs?

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Speaker 2: Are you? You two fans?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we actually went to their rival school.

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Speaker 2: You did, but well you didn't. You didn't have a

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Speaker 2: football team anymore. I mean, what's that that football you

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Speaker 2: guys played this year? I'm not really sure.

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Speaker 1: No, that's it.

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Speaker 2: I just specifically remember Ole Miss going to a place

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Speaker 2: called Man this year and absolutely thumping this group of

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Speaker 2: people that.

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Speaker 3: Have times you win sometimes you don't win.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true.

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Speaker 1: Y'all have been winning for a while. You go, so

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Speaker 1: it should be did you go to No? I just

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Speaker 1: didn't ministrate you t for fifteen years, So I feel

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Speaker 1: like I've done four or five educational cycles with having

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Speaker 1: no degree. Note, but I went to Jacksonville State.

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Speaker 2: You and McConaughey or Powells, Oh, yeah, we're buddy.

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Speaker 1: He's a great guy. He wears the same leather jacket.

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Speaker 1: I tell him it stinks you should put on a

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Speaker 1: different leather jacket, but he has the same. I think

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Speaker 1: it's his lucky leather jacket. He pulls it off, rocket,

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Speaker 1: he pulls it off.

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Speaker 2: All right. So you got here last night?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: And did you get to do anything in Memphis at all?

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Speaker 2: How much? Do anything besides put you in a hotel here?

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Speaker 1: There's only one thing to do in Memphis, and that's

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Speaker 1: see the ducks.

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Speaker 2: And so we did things more to do in Memphis.

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Speaker 1: Rush to the docks, Rush to the dock, and they

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Speaker 1: rushed to the elevator and then said goodbye to us,

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Speaker 1: and then we went It is great, it's great. We

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Speaker 1: went on Beale Street.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we went on Beal Street.

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Speaker 2: Good walked, Yeah, walked, what's it raining? So you're fine?

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Speaker 2: So it was good.

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Speaker 1: It was great.

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Speaker 2: So you got to see the ducks. For those listening

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Speaker 2: to us, Yeah, the Peabody is a hotel in downtown

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Speaker 2: Memphis that's been there forever and back in the thirties,

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Speaker 2: I think it was some inebriated hunters brought back some

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Speaker 2: ducks and as a joke, dropped them in the fountain

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Speaker 2: and the foyer or the lobby, and thus started ducks

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Speaker 2: in the Peabody fountain. And now they are trained to

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Speaker 2: come down from the duck penthouse on the roof of

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Speaker 2: the Peabody, down the elevators, walking to the the fountain,

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Speaker 2: hang out, and then they walk out and make a

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Speaker 2: big whoop to do over.

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Speaker 3: A red carpet.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yes, why wouldn't you.

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Speaker 1: Lots of phones out, That's exactly right.

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Speaker 2: So we're good. I'm glad you got to enjoy the ducks.

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Speaker 2: So normally at this time I will introduce our guests

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Speaker 2: and talk about the organization they're with. In this case,

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Speaker 2: that's not what we're doing today. We talk about all

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Speaker 2: the time not having to be part of some big

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Speaker 2: government organization or NGO or anything. Else to be a

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Speaker 2: part of the army of normal folks. We also frequently

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Speaker 2: talk about seeing meet need in your community, using your

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Speaker 2: passion abilities to meet that need, and we often get

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Speaker 2: people all the time saying, you know, I just I

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Speaker 2: want to get involved, I want to help. I care

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Speaker 2: about my community, I care about people in my community,

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Speaker 2: but I just don't know how to start. And your

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Speaker 2: guy's story really exemplifies the power of just simple kindness

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Speaker 2: and generosity and how on a small scale you can

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Speaker 2: do massive things. And I can't wait to tell that

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Speaker 2: story to encourage and inspire folks to understand that need

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Speaker 2: is everywhere and the ability to be generous and help

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Speaker 2: others is abundant. And I can't wait to tell the story.

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Speaker 2: But to tell the story, we kind of got to

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Speaker 2: start with you guys dating. I think, really, so how'd

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Speaker 2: you meet? How does somebody from Texas and know you

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Speaker 2: even begin to get together as well?

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Speaker 3: I was living in Dallas, he was living in Austin.

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Speaker 3: My sister's sister in law, Divine Woman, said I think

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Speaker 3: that you're going to marry this guy, Brandon Stathis, And

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Speaker 3: I was like, we'll see. I had never met him,

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Speaker 3: didn't know who he was. She just was like, I

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Speaker 3: just have this weird feeling I was living, she was living. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: so her boyfriend was Brandon's roommate, lived in a house

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Speaker 3: of ten guys. After calls about it was like a

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Speaker 3: mini Yeah it was. It was very sweet and so

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Speaker 3: she was like, you got to meet him, met him,

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Speaker 3: and the rest is history was very quick. We dated

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Speaker 3: nine months in dating six months. I moved to Austin

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Speaker 3: for him three more months. We got engaged, engaged for

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Speaker 3: five months. Done.

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Speaker 2: That was me and Lisa. Yeah, you know, you know

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Speaker 2: from the day Lisa and first date, which took me

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Speaker 2: five months to get her go out with me, but

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Speaker 2: from that date until the day we were married was

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Speaker 2: only like fourteen months.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I love it.

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Speaker 2: Yea, I fell in love. Yeah, she fell in like

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Speaker 2: and I'm not really sure she's looked all the way

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Speaker 2: there after thirty three years. I'm still trying real hard.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So you moved to Austin, Yes, moved and you were

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Speaker 2: in Oklahoma.

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Speaker 3: I was in Dallas, grew up in Dallas.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry. So what we do?

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Speaker 3: Went to OU I was an executive assistant and then

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Speaker 3: moved to Austin with a lot of school debt, no job,

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Speaker 3: and nowhere to live. A family took me in that

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Speaker 3: he knew through in life, and I lived with him

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Speaker 3: for my first however many months, but I moved here

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Speaker 3: because I felt like the lord told me a date

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Speaker 3: to move a month. So I was like, I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: trust you. I'm going to blindly trust you. Everyone was like,

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Speaker 3: you're crazy when you're moving a city to a city

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Speaker 3: for a guy after dating him six months and then

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Speaker 3: two year, moving with no job and you have a

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Speaker 3: lot of school payments. And then my second day in Austin,

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Speaker 3: we were in a soccer league, I broke my foot

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Speaker 3: and they were like, I think you're gonna need surgery.

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Speaker 3: And I was like, okay, this is cool.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no money, no money, knowing nothing.

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Speaker 2: So what are you doing with ten guys in a house?

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Speaker 2: What's up with that?

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Speaker 1: I think it's cheap rent. That was the only way

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Speaker 1: to do it in Austin. I think it's now you

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Speaker 1: can't even do that. But it's just it's cheaper rent.

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Speaker 1: It was a huge house. We all had jobs and

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Speaker 1: we just we went for it and we all doubled

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Speaker 1: up in a room.

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Speaker 2: What were you doing for eleven I worked for.

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Speaker 1: Young Life at the University of Texas. So most of

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Speaker 1: the guys all had just business corporate jobs, accountant when

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Speaker 1: it was an architect, engineer, film the other. And I

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Speaker 1: just was a ministry guy. I did college ministry at

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Speaker 1: University of Texas. Loved college guys. I had moved from

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Speaker 1: the Southeast, so originally was from Georgia. Moved to Austin

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Speaker 1: to take that job, to do that.

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Speaker 2: And so for those of our listeners that aren't real

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Speaker 2: familiar with young Life, tell us what that is.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, young Life a relational ministry to adolescence. Really anyone

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Speaker 1: middle school, high school, college, they do teen moms, military

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Speaker 1: and and you can go on staff, you can be

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Speaker 1: a Young Life leader. But it's all about going to

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Speaker 1: where students are to share the love of Christ into

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Speaker 1: We call it earned the right to be heard.

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Speaker 2: Sounds like a really crappy job.

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Speaker 1: It's the crappiest job ever.

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Speaker 2: And I'm gonna tell you what it's. Well, you know

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Speaker 2: I went to miss and you know, oh you where'd

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Speaker 2: you go to school? Jacksonville State, Jacksonville State down in Ala, Alabama, Alabama.

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Speaker 1: It's a sneaky place, Jacksonville, Alabama.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but where is it.

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Speaker 1: It's about an hour and a half southeast of Birmingham.

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Speaker 2: Okay, all right, so we went to college. In college,

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Speaker 2: there are a number of things. There are books, there

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Speaker 2: are classrooms, and then beyond those two subsets of unimportant things,

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Speaker 2: there's beer and for tarnity and shorty life and parties

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Speaker 2: and everything else. And I can only imagine the challenges

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Speaker 2: associated with trying to have relational, christ centered work done

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Speaker 2: in an ironment where pretty much everything that's any fun

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Speaker 2: is in direct opposition to that. Yep, yep, So why

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Speaker 2: do you do that?

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Speaker 1: We love a good challenge. I think at the heart

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Speaker 1: of every college student, and I think maybe people in general,

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Speaker 1: it's just the desire to be known. And when I think,

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Speaker 1: you leave your high school, you're a big fish in

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Speaker 1: a small pond, and when you come to a place

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Speaker 1: like the University of Texas or Ole Miss or OU

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Speaker 1: or any big d one school, you become a small

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Speaker 1: fish and a big, big pond. And so we would

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Speaker 1: encounter freshmen who just had a lot of need, even

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Speaker 1: though on the outside they looked like they had it

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Speaker 1: all together. They were going to do this hit, this sorority,

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Speaker 1: hit that fraternity, whatnot. They really desired deep friendship, and

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Speaker 1: then they also desired to figure out whether faith was

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Speaker 1: their own or it was their parents.

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Speaker 2: And that's interesting because there's a lot of people who

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Speaker 2: quote grow up in church because their parents drag them,

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Speaker 2: And I think those are parents in general trying to

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Speaker 2: do the right thing by their children and expose them

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Speaker 2: to what they think is the right fundamental basis for

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Speaker 2: a meaningful life. I get it. I did it with

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Speaker 2: my own children. But I also know when I went

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Speaker 2: to college, even having been drugged to church by my

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Speaker 2: collar as a child, when I got to college, one

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Speaker 2: of the first things I thought was sleeping in on

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Speaker 2: Sunday is a heck of a lot better than waking

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Speaker 2: up going to church as an eighteen year old, nineteen

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Speaker 2: year old. I mean, I'm first to admit that was

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Speaker 2: my approach. And when the guy from Campus Ministry, Campus Life,

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Speaker 2: Young Life at All was you at orientation, smiling real

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Speaker 2: big and handing me a flyer or whatever, that might

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Speaker 2: have been the first thing to win the trash basket. Yep.

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Speaker 2: I rejected the notion of a Kumbaya meeting at eighteen

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Speaker 2: years old with a bunch of other freshmen. I rejected

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Speaker 2: that I mean, I don't want anything to do with it.

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Speaker 2: Did you feel that, Oh?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, It just depends on the person. There were definitely

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Speaker 1: guys that you would feel that stiff arm and you

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Speaker 1: would kind of just oh, the most heisman post. I mean,

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Speaker 1: there were some rough guys that I met early on,

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Speaker 1: but man, you crave to be known. And so if

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden and two weeks later, amidst going

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Speaker 1: to class, I say hey, Jimmy, and he's like, how

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Speaker 1: do you know my name? I don't want anything to

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Speaker 1: do with this. Two weeks later, Jimmy, how's school going?

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's like you can't not respond, And so

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Speaker 1: there you kind of win. We would win guys over

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Speaker 1: by just essentially letting them do their thing and just

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Speaker 1: still being available. And then there were guys that were

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Speaker 1: much more hungry and willing to be like again, I

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Speaker 1: feel like I'm a fish out of water, and you're

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Speaker 1: friendly and like, we're gonna go do something really fun

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Speaker 1: and cool. And we would never lead out necessarily with

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Speaker 1: come to this Bible study. We would just hey, we're

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Speaker 1: going to you know place, pick up basketball at the

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Speaker 1: blah blah place this Thursday night. Come with us and

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Speaker 1: anyone who played sports was like, I'm down for that,

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Speaker 1: And so I think that's kind of you can move

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Speaker 1: somebody down the line till all of a sudden you've

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Speaker 1: earned the right to go, Hey, what if on Thursdays

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Speaker 1: at four, when you don't have class, me and all

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Speaker 1: your buddies we just got down on the grass and

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Speaker 1: opened up the scriptures. Would you be open to doing that?

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Speaker 1: And they're like sure. And then then when you get

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Speaker 1: in there, it's over because that first one I look

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Speaker 1: at them and go, why did you come? Because your

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Speaker 1: mom doesn't even know you're here and didn't make you come.

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Speaker 1: Why did you get here? And they're like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I guess on my own. They want to be their

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Speaker 1: own at least in the guy's side, they want to

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Speaker 1: be their own man, and they want to like decide

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Speaker 1: for themselves. Who is Jesus?

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Speaker 2: Is he real?

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Speaker 1: Is he personal? Does he have anything to do with

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Speaker 1: my life? Because now it's like my life has been

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Speaker 1: gone and I've already been making my own decisions anyways.

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Speaker 1: So I think that Cross Hairs was a dynamic moment

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Speaker 1: for those guys. That was my journey. My mom was

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Speaker 1: so afraid when she dropped me off that I was

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Speaker 1: going to just go crazy, and she even said something

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Speaker 1: like I don't know, she's like offered me money, Like

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Speaker 1: I think she tried to bribe me. If she's listening

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Speaker 1: to this, she was cutting my hair or something, and

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Speaker 1: she was like, you know, if you don't you know,

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Speaker 1: if you go through college and you don't drink, like

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Speaker 1: a friend of mine gave her son one hundred and

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Speaker 1: fifty bucks and you know that stands for you too,

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Speaker 1: which I'm like, Mom, come on, you can give me

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Speaker 1: a undred more than one hundred fifty bucks. But I

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Speaker 1: think what was more mesmerizing for me was taking ownership

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Speaker 1: of my life and faith and money started in college

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Speaker 1: and actually impacted us in our life with the whole

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Speaker 1: journey of generosity kind of story. But I think that

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Speaker 1: impacted me so much that ended up making a career

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Speaker 1: out of it and moving to Austin And what's your

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Speaker 1: degree in business management? I was full on business, was

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Speaker 1: going to go do finance. Yeah, go do wealth management.

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Speaker 1: And a guy who was walking with me, who had

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Speaker 1: kind of pursued me very lightly, was like, you should

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Speaker 1: think about doing college ministry. You click with college guys.

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Speaker 2: And now a few messages from our gener sponsors. But

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Speaker 2: first I hope you'll consider signing up to join the

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Speaker 2: army at normal folks dot us. By signing up, you'll

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Speaker 2: receive a weekly email with short episode summaries in case

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Speaker 2: you happen to miss an episode, or if you prefer

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Speaker 2: reading about our incredible guests, We'll be right back. Look, man,

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Speaker 2: I'm looking at you. Your articulate, You're probably you're good looking, dude.

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Speaker 2: You probably were doing great and financial advisor business role

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Speaker 2: and made a bunch of money. I cannot imagine young

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Speaker 2: life is a career that you're ever going to get

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Speaker 2: wealthy in.

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Speaker 1: No no, so why I think when you are. When

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Speaker 1: I was in college, I just felt God's love. It

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Speaker 1: was personal to me for the first time in high school,

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Speaker 1: like kind of like what you said. I think this

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Speaker 1: is common for a lot of Bible bell people, and

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Speaker 1: I think it's actually becoming less and less as our

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Speaker 1: country gets I think more and more post Christian. But

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Speaker 1: I started reading the scriptures for myself, I started interacting

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Speaker 1: with God myself. He was personal to me, and I

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Speaker 1: was overflowing with that. So even when I was gearing

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Speaker 1: up to move to Atlanta and do wealth management at

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Speaker 1: a firm that I was excited about working for a

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Speaker 1: family friend and all that stuff. I was thinking, Oh,

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Speaker 1: I can really love people that way that a wealth

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Speaker 1: management guy told me people get naked in front of

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Speaker 1: three people their spouse, their doctor, and their financial planner

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Speaker 1: because wherever their money goes, that's where their heart is,

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Speaker 1: so you get to see their heart. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'd love to get there with people, but I always

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Speaker 1: knew that you'd have you know, at least forty percent

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Speaker 1: of your job would be paperwork and modules and Excel.

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Speaker 1: And I was willing to deal with that in order

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Speaker 1: to get to that other juicy stuff. And when I

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Speaker 1: realized that if I did college ministry, I wouldn't have

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Speaker 1: to wear the financial planner hat. I could just pursue

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Speaker 1: people and go right to the jugular of like caring

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Speaker 1: for them, loving them and asking them questions, of to

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Speaker 1: let them kind of consider their life, consider taking ownership

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Speaker 1: of their faith. Right, So I went for it.

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Speaker 3: In turn, I think that our experience in ministry for

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Speaker 3: fifteen years, we feel rich. We feel very rich, not

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Speaker 3: financially rich, very like spiritually rich. We've got to experience

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Speaker 3: unforgettable things that like when people's life change. That's where

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Speaker 3: the real richness is. So you're what was your degree

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Speaker 3: in Nashley Communication?

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Speaker 2: Okay, so you're also lovely, thank you, beautiful and hanging

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Speaker 2: out in Oklahoma and you meet this cool guy who

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Speaker 2: is obviously very passionate, nice looking and everything else. But

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Speaker 2: he works for young life and you uproot and roll

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Speaker 2: kind of knowing what you're getting into the ministry, which

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Speaker 2: once again is not financial, the most fruitful thing on

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Speaker 2: the face of the planet.

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Speaker 3: Why because of this man, look at him. Love makes

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Speaker 3: you do just make.

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Speaker 1: That's why oars were.

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Speaker 3: Like, are you sure I yet know? I? I really

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Speaker 3: had never met a man like him, a man that

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Speaker 3: was intentional, and and so I was like, I am

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Speaker 3: sold on you, and I will I. I want to

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Speaker 3: follow you, and we're at whatever that means in ministry,

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Speaker 3: thriving and financially whatever where, whatever it is. I just

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Speaker 3: want to be behind you. And so I was like,

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Speaker 3: you know, do you make all the money in the world. No,

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Speaker 3: But at the same time.

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Speaker 1: I had more than her.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, right, No, I mean more than you. God knows

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Speaker 3: our needs and he will provide for us. He will

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Speaker 3: see our needs and he will he'll fulfill and needs,

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Speaker 3: whether that's me working or staying home or whatever that is.

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Speaker 3: And so I was like, it was just like a

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Speaker 3: I love this man and I'll follow you to the

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Speaker 3: ends of the earth.

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Speaker 2: What a cool love affair. So how old were you

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Speaker 2: at this point? About twenty three?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Okay, so on top of it, your stupid young and wow,

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Speaker 2: it's all twenty three years state. But I was a

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Speaker 2: complete I still am. But that was all right. So

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Speaker 2: she shows up and I mean she's moved. Sonight you

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Speaker 2: have to propose? I mean, what else you got to do?

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Speaker 1: It was this pressure?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so how'd that go down?

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Speaker 1: The proposal?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Well, I I have known to be creative when I

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Speaker 1: get an idea about something.

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Speaker 3: And that that gives him the juju in life, the

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Speaker 3: big dreaming moments.

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Speaker 1: This was back in twenty eleven, a dreaming moment before

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Speaker 1: like what are they called flash mobs? Small things out

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Speaker 1: not a thing, but from twenty thirteen to about twenty

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Speaker 1: seventeen they were a thing. And I wasn't thinking I

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Speaker 1: want to do a flash mob. I just thought, how

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Speaker 1: could I get as many people in this in on

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Speaker 1: this as possible to surprise bless and just catch her

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Speaker 1: off guard and show her I love you so much.

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Speaker 1: And so I did a proposal that had a bunch

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Speaker 1: of people in it. My family from Georgia wasn't able

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Speaker 1: to make it. So I posted on YouTube or I

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Speaker 1: have a good buddy film it. I posted on Facebook

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Speaker 1: for my family members. That's all I was thinking about.

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Speaker 1: And a week later had like one hundred and fifty

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Speaker 1: thousand views. Are you getting all these things? And then

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Speaker 1: a month later it had three hundred thousand views. And

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Speaker 1: this TV network is calling us to see if they

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Speaker 1: could pay for a wedding if blah blah blah, And

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Speaker 1: then a cruise ship asks if they can record it

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Speaker 1: or whatever.

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Speaker 3: Er think, what did you do well flash mob?

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Speaker 2: How? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Okay, So I will explain it. First off, he flew

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Speaker 3: me to Fredericksburg that morning in a private plane. It

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Speaker 3: flew me to Fredericksburg, Texas in a private plane. We

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Speaker 3: get there, go to a field, have lunch. This family

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Speaker 3: comes out, serves us, lunch, we hang, We fly back

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Speaker 3: later that evening I was supposed to or I had

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Speaker 3: been praying about this meeting that he was to have

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Speaker 3: with his boss's boss all week. He fooled me and

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Speaker 3: then I was walking in to have dinner with my girlfriends,

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Speaker 3: walk into this restaurant. He's there, blindfolds me, walks me

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Speaker 3: around the corner to this park, takes off my blindfold,

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Speaker 3: turns me around, and there's my family, all of our friends,

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Speaker 3: lots of people from different walks of life, college friends,

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Speaker 3: all that. They are all holding signs, and each sign

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Speaker 3: correlated with something significant in our relationship. The significance of

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Speaker 3: that uh, it was a date plus the event, and

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Speaker 3: so he had basically mapped out our relationship with like

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Speaker 3: a timeline, and each person that was holding the sign,

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Speaker 3: each set of two people were associated with that event,

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Speaker 3: so they were intimately involved in whatever kind of marketer

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Speaker 3: that was, first date, first kiss, time that he said

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Speaker 3: I loved you, We went to the CMA's, all that

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Speaker 3: kind of stuff. So it was like people would walk

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Speaker 3: up with their sign, walk back, and then they at

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Speaker 3: the end, it was my parents when he asked her,

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Speaker 3: there my hand in marriage. So they come up and

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Speaker 3: then he hits a knee, he proposes, and then.

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Speaker 1: He wait, is the best part, See I just told it.

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Speaker 1: They come back, they're all there and they're all showing

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Speaker 1: their different dates, and then I kind of nod to them,

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Speaker 1: and they flip over, and now all of the cards

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Speaker 1: say that day because next.

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Speaker 3: Yes, it was the next big thing.

439
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:58,200
Speaker 1: And then they had the knee. She says, yes, praise

440
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,760
Speaker 1: the Lord. And then we the.

441
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 3: People come from a crowd, and there was a flash

442
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 3: mob dance kidding.

443
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:12,920
Speaker 1: For no reason now that I'm thinking about it, So.

444
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:15,280
Speaker 2: Never let it be said that guys from Young Life

445
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 2: don't have.

446
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 1: Game gone gone.

447
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:28,159
Speaker 2: That's awesome, amazing, and honestly, I'm sitting here looking at you, guys,

448
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 2: and clearly this is eleven years ago, and the smiles

449
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,160
Speaker 2: on your face and the way you keep slapping each

450
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 2: other's shoulder, finishing one another's sentences, it's obviously still a

451
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 2: love affair. It's beautiful, it really is. There's people in

452
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:48,520
Speaker 2: this world who should envy that in you. So it's

453
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:50,600
Speaker 2: time to get married. But before you get married, you

454
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:54,080
Speaker 2: got to start having conversations about important stuff like how

455
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:56,200
Speaker 2: many kids do we want? Do we want kids? Where

456
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,040
Speaker 2: do we want to live? Is this the wife we

457
00:25:58,080 --> 00:25:59,720
Speaker 2: want to have? How are we going to do it?

458
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 2: What are finance is going to look like? And during

459
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 2: that conversation, Brandon got a surprise.

460
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:08,919
Speaker 1: Yep, yeah, fun surprise. We started peeling back all the layers,

461
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,640
Speaker 1: and one of those was the financial conversation. I feel

462
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 1: like every couple goes through this where you're like, a,

463
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:15,679
Speaker 1: how do you spend your money?

464
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 2: They don't, They certainly should.

465
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 1: I highly recommend they're getting hitched uff.

466
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 2: You might want to understand one another's financial idea posessions. Yeah.

467
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:29,480
Speaker 1: She essentially said, I have sixty two thousand dollars of

468
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 1: student loan debt, and every month I have to pay

469
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 1: you know whatever it was.

470
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:35,520
Speaker 3: I attempted to pay double, which I thought was like

471
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:39,119
Speaker 3: I was crushing it. I was like, I'm paying double,

472
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 3: I could be paying the minimum.

473
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,120
Speaker 1: You know, when that interest hits, it's not really effected.

474
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:46,159
Speaker 3: So I thought I was like slaying the dragon like

475
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:52,400
Speaker 3: I needed to. But he was like, Okay, when I.

476
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 1: Was looking at what I was making, don't make a lote.

477
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 2: When you saw his reaction to you saying, yeah, when

478
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 2: you marry me, you're marrying sixty two thousand dollars in

479
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,000
Speaker 2: student now, mister young Life got.

480
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:09,120
Speaker 3: Mister young Life and mister Dave Ramsey also, oh boy,

481
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:12,359
Speaker 3: And I was like, it was, I was did you

482
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:13,199
Speaker 3: taken back?

483
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 2: What was? What was the face you.

484
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:22,520
Speaker 1: Got, okay to stunt done done, the smile, Okay, there.

485
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 3: There are some eventually some tears. But I think what

486
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:34,119
Speaker 3: a beautiful thing was He was like immediately solid as

487
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:37,000
Speaker 3: both of our debts, So it wasn't like you have that.

488
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 3: He never made me feel guilty for like I can't

489
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 3: believe you adopted that debt or whatever. He was like, Okay,

490
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 3: we are going to work out a plan. And I

491
00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:51,679
Speaker 3: was like, I feel very loved because it is not

492
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,439
Speaker 3: your debt, but you are owning it as yours now.

493
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 3: And the fact that you want to, you know, devise

494
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,639
Speaker 3: a place to get the monkey off our back was

495
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:04,560
Speaker 3: very I felt very loved in the process.

496
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:16,120
Speaker 2: We'll be right back. Let's go back to something you

497
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:20,400
Speaker 2: just said that I found was mister Dave Ramsey. Yeah,

498
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 2: how come your mister Dave Ramsey in college?

499
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,199
Speaker 1: I don't know why my dad did this, but my

500
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 1: freshman year of college, he like basically dropped me off

501
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:32,920
Speaker 1: at my dorm room and inside this little like good

502
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:36,200
Speaker 1: Luck in College packet was this book called The Total

503
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:39,840
Speaker 1: Money Makeover. I'm like, I don't like to read at

504
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 1: that age. I don't want to read my even my

505
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,440
Speaker 1: textbooks whatever, why would he give me this book? And

506
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 1: by the end of the freshman year I read it

507
00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:47,000
Speaker 1: cover to cover. I don't know if I had a

508
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 1: lot of extra time, or that was before phones or what,

509
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:53,240
Speaker 1: but I read it and that became the foundation for me.

510
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:56,720
Speaker 1: I mean almost naively didn't think anything else about it,

511
00:28:57,280 --> 00:29:00,120
Speaker 1: and so I started managing my money that way. And

512
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 1: then we get to postgrad and I'm not making a lot.

513
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 1: I have very little apples coming in, and it really

514
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 1: helped me, like naming every dollar and living under your

515
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:12,800
Speaker 1: meetings and just being like, well, if you're only bringing

516
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:14,920
Speaker 1: in fifteen hundred a month, I guess you can only

517
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 1: spend fourteen hundred.

518
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 2: That kind of thing, to me, the Dave Ramsey thing

519
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:21,640
Speaker 2: is just net in the first reader. I mean, it's duh, yeah,

520
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 2: don't spend what you don't have.

521
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:25,560
Speaker 1: It's Grandma style, and don't.

522
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:28,120
Speaker 2: Allow all of what you do have get eaten up

523
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 2: and interest yep, yep.

524
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:32,600
Speaker 1: And for that to be like that's that was just

525
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:35,240
Speaker 1: kind of true law. I was like, Okay, that's what

526
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:38,520
Speaker 1: we'll do. And so then I think the terror in

527
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 1: me was like I make less than thirty grand a

528
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 1: year and you have more than double that in debt.

529
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:50,160
Speaker 2: Well, let's be let's let's talk about net. Yeah, it's

530
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 2: probably four years of income of net.

531
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,160
Speaker 1: Yes, no, And so I just it's just basic.

532
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:58,480
Speaker 2: Math, like, so will we do box? Yeah? How do

533
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 2: we do four years? We could at all if we

534
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 2: don't eat to clothe ourselves. Yeah, so if you're going

535
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:05,480
Speaker 2: to be naked, you might as hang around with your

536
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:10,200
Speaker 2: financial advice because that's.

537
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:13,440
Speaker 1: So there was a point where I was like, maybe

538
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 1: I should change jobs.

539
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:16,719
Speaker 3: Yes, for sure, he was like, how do we do this?

540
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 2: But honestly, then, what did that make you feel that

541
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 2: maybe he was going to change your job?

542
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:23,760
Speaker 3: I think I should start delivering pizzas at night if

543
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 3: I don't. And I was like, okay, Uh, it made

544
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,479
Speaker 3: me feel guilty because I felt like his job was

545
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:36,440
Speaker 3: his calling, like I felt like God specifically. And then

546
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:39,960
Speaker 3: if you see this guy in what he does in ministry,

547
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 3: you're like, he's made for this, he was put on

548
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 3: this earth design like he the way that he leads

549
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:51,320
Speaker 3: young men is remarkable. And so I'm like, oh cool,

550
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 3: I'm gonna I love this man and I'm gonna take

551
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:57,120
Speaker 3: him away from his passion and his calling. And so

552
00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 3: it was death very overwhelming, I anchored, which in my family,

553
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:05,240
Speaker 3: a lot of what people think coming out of college

554
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:08,000
Speaker 3: with debt is very normal, and so I was told like, oh,

555
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 3: it's really normal, and I think that for us. We

556
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 3: were like, but God says, don't be sleep till linder.

557
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:19,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, let's make sure we all understand that what

558
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 2: societal preconceived notion about normal is is not often right.

559
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:27,880
Speaker 1: Totally or helpful.

560
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:34,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, or smart frankly yeah. I mean when I coached

561
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 2: at Manassas, it was we were on the heels of

562
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 2: the whole no child left behind thing, which I think

563
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 2: there's a lot of stuff in the world that is

564
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:55,400
Speaker 2: very well intentioned, but the law of unintended consequences. As

565
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 2: you look back at some of those well intentioned policies,

566
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:02,040
Speaker 2: you think, home goodness, that was terrible and stupid and

567
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 2: horrible policy. And the no child left behind. I get

568
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 2: the idea, but the narrative that came out of that

569
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,720
Speaker 2: is you have to go to college to be successful,

570
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:14,040
Speaker 2: no child left behind. Every child's going to graduate, and

571
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:17,160
Speaker 2: every child has to go to college to be successful. Well,

572
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:20,840
Speaker 2: that is a lie. When you're really not equipped to

573
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 2: college and you could leave and go to a trade

574
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:25,640
Speaker 2: school for six months, or go to a truck driving

575
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:28,840
Speaker 2: school for six weeks, and at nineteen years old be

576
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:31,200
Speaker 2: making seventy five to one hundred thousand dollars a year

577
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:35,040
Speaker 2: with no debt. The no child left behind idea is

578
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,400
Speaker 2: a good idea, but the narrative that comes out it

579
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 2: is you have to go to college and if you

580
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:43,600
Speaker 2: can't afford it, just get student loans because they're free.

581
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:46,280
Speaker 2: Until you get out of college and rack up all

582
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:50,240
Speaker 2: this debt and you end up sometimes five and ten

583
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 2: years financially fiscally behind where you would have been had

584
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:57,720
Speaker 2: you pursued another track. Now I'm not certainly not saying

585
00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:01,720
Speaker 2: actually you should have been a chuck. Yeah, but as

586
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 2: it pertains to what you just said, what's normal, Well

587
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:09,400
Speaker 2: maybe it is, but it's not always the smartest thing,

588
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 2: and there are other ways to go about stuff. And

589
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 2: I just think it's interesting that your dad put a

590
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:21,360
Speaker 2: book in your freshman college thing that is Dave Ramsey,

591
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:24,160
Speaker 2: that to me is the first reader. And then you

592
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:27,240
Speaker 2: fall in love and you meet the antithesis of that

593
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 2: lesson in the love of your life. I think that's interesting.

594
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:34,320
Speaker 1: Interesting.

595
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:38,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, So you married her anyway.

596
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:41,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, nice doubt job.

597
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:49,920
Speaker 2: And y'all's goal was killed at because.

598
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 3: Of Dave Ramsey, and we wanted to start a new

599
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:55,040
Speaker 3: kind of playing the flag in the ground of going

600
00:33:55,400 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 3: we want to handle money in a God centered we

601
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:04,480
Speaker 3: trust God's word way when we start a family, so

602
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:06,480
Speaker 3: we were like, before we have kids, we want the

603
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:12,719
Speaker 3: monkey off our back to kind of show a we are,

604
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 3: we are doing life differently hopefully.

605
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:17,560
Speaker 1: It was also a what if moment, like, well, what

606
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:21,120
Speaker 1: if we what if we led a family and we

607
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:23,960
Speaker 1: were we didn't do debt, Like what would that even

608
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:26,680
Speaker 1: look like? It was still the age of credit cards,

609
00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:29,400
Speaker 1: but like what if we didn't have debt? And what

610
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:31,879
Speaker 1: if when our kids went to college we told them,

611
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 1: you know, you only have X amount and leading them

612
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:40,760
Speaker 1: toward not not incurring exactly what you just said. And

613
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:44,720
Speaker 1: that that helped drive us to go, okay, well before

614
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:47,879
Speaker 1: we even bring a human into this world, let's take

615
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:50,560
Speaker 1: care of our business first. And so that's kind of

616
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:54,680
Speaker 1: what started the journey, the aggressive journey of trying to

617
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:58,840
Speaker 1: live off my salary and anything she made we wouldn't touch.

618
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:03,359
Speaker 1: It was like I would have scratched your back for

619
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:05,279
Speaker 1: five dollars and it just would have went straight to

620
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:06,480
Speaker 1: o you straight to Norman.

621
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 2: That sounds like a lot of beans and ramen noodles.

622
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:13,440
Speaker 1: Yep, it was. I mean, I can't remember what our

623
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 1: grocery I think we had, but it was two hundred

624
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:20,799
Speaker 1: bucks a month for food.

625
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 3: Yeap read a lot of topia.

626
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 2: Did you go out to eat?

627
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:30,279
Speaker 3: Ever, we didn't know we had fifty dollars to eat

628
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:33,440
Speaker 3: out to eat or maybe like forty I think it

629
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:36,040
Speaker 3: was forty, and so we were like, maybe once a

630
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:37,239
Speaker 3: month we'll go out to eat.

631
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:40,239
Speaker 2: Oh, but for forty bucks, you're still going eat it

632
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:41,280
Speaker 2: like cheaper.

633
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:44,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, But we were like, no for now, not forever.

634
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 3: So we will sacrifice for the time being, but it

635
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:54,759
Speaker 3: doesn't have to be the way we live the rest

636
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:55,320
Speaker 3: of our life.

637
00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:59,839
Speaker 2: That's a real commitment at twenty three or four years old.

638
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:04,920
Speaker 2: Was that a shock to your world for sure? Well?

639
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 3: I had never really group in Dallas group kind of

640
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:13,440
Speaker 3: having whatever I wanted or needed, not like in the

641
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:18,400
Speaker 3: crazy abundance, but just a normal life where everything was

642
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:21,239
Speaker 3: kind of like provided for me. Didn't really have a

643
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:25,240
Speaker 3: lot of financial background and how I would manage money.

644
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:29,759
Speaker 3: But I think that learning from him, I was like, Wow,

645
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:34,040
Speaker 3: you can actually have more freedom managing the money than

646
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:38,760
Speaker 3: not managing the money. And so once we started naming

647
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:41,879
Speaker 3: our dollars and say, you know, this was a little

648
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 3: bit more posted at. But the more you name it,

649
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:48,839
Speaker 3: the more freedom it actually creates, rather than you just spend,

650
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:50,560
Speaker 3: spend spend. You're like, oh, man, where's all of our

651
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:52,799
Speaker 3: money going. I'm like, oh, we know where our money's going.

652
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 3: So and we can name the dollars so we can

653
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 3: build in freedoms in what we want.

654
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:03,719
Speaker 2: I want you to quick segue thanks for being so

655
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:10,240
Speaker 2: candid and open about it, because personal finances and money

656
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:11,719
Speaker 2: is stuff that a lot of people don't want to

657
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:15,440
Speaker 2: talk about because it can be embarrassing. And you guys

658
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 2: talk about it with grins on your faces and it's

659
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:22,080
Speaker 2: just absolutely cute. Really. So, I own a business. I

660
00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 2: started it in two thousand and one with seventeen thousand

661
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 2: dollars and it was Lisa and me with a two

662
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:29,839
Speaker 2: year old, of three ye old to four year old

663
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:32,400
Speaker 2: and five year old. All right, there's no such thing

664
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:35,359
Speaker 2: as not taken on debt. Start a business. I've been

665
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:37,520
Speaker 2: in business since two thousand and one. I'm fifty six

666
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:43,080
Speaker 2: years old. I have enjoyed and been blessed by a

667
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 2: certain level of success in business, But you never really

668
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:53,400
Speaker 2: get out of lines of credit or debt. There's always

669
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:59,759
Speaker 2: in business the burden of the bank. Even FedEx has debt,

670
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:03,279
Speaker 2: even Amazon has debt. You just there's just about no

671
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:09,560
Speaker 2: such thing as a growing company that doesn't incur debt.

672
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:18,279
Speaker 2: Cap X stuff, investment debt, that debt, And even at

673
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 2: fifty six, there are times that I still really feel

674
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 2: the weight of debt. But in the same respect, I've

675
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:32,560
Speaker 2: got one hundred and forty employees, and I've got a

676
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 2: business that's doing I do business in over forty countries

677
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:41,160
Speaker 2: in the world, and my children, my wife and I

678
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:43,440
Speaker 2: and many of the people that work for me are

679
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:46,200
Speaker 2: enjoying a life that maybe they would not have otherwise

680
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:49,680
Speaker 2: enjoyed if it weren't for the creation of this company.

681
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:55,560
Speaker 2: So there's a balance right on a business side of things.

682
00:38:56,160 --> 00:39:03,359
Speaker 2: But I really do struggle with how much of that

683
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:06,040
Speaker 2: debt and how much of the burden of that debt

684
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:18,080
Speaker 2: is fruitful versus how much of that is responsible. It's

685
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 2: really the truth. What would you guys say, Since you're

686
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:25,600
Speaker 2: a young life guy and I know you've moved on

687
00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:28,920
Speaker 2: but you're still in the ministry. What would you say

688
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:38,720
Speaker 2: that your faith says about debt, given that the debt

689
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:41,040
Speaker 2: we're talking about as a student loan debt that you

690
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:43,600
Speaker 2: guys dealt with as a young married couple, versus the

691
00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:47,239
Speaker 2: debt I just described, there's a wide range of that

692
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:49,879
Speaker 2: world debt.

693
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:56,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, I I do think there is a difference between

694
00:39:56,880 --> 00:40:02,279
Speaker 1: using money to make money versus using money to live

695
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:06,080
Speaker 1: outside your means, and so leverage is.

696
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:10,080
Speaker 2: Really a great answer, dude, Well, that really is. I

697
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:11,960
Speaker 2: was wondering what you were going to say, and I'm

698
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:13,759
Speaker 2: not sure I even had an answer in my mind.

699
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 2: I expected, but there's one way of using debt to

700
00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 2: make money and build things versus using debt to live

701
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:22,440
Speaker 2: outside your means.

702
00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:27,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, one feels like a wise use of borrowed funds,

703
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:34,400
Speaker 1: and one feels like a foolish, uncontrolled, undisciplined use of

704
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:36,520
Speaker 1: funds that will come after.

705
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:39,880
Speaker 2: You and haunt you. Do you think debt's sinful?

706
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:43,160
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I don't think that. I think

707
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:47,240
Speaker 1: the use of I think we money, in my opinion,

708
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 1: is a moral anyways. So it's not that money is sinful,

709
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:53,960
Speaker 1: it's what we maybe do with it, or intentions of it,

710
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:57,240
Speaker 1: or where our heart wants to There's is deeper issues

711
00:40:57,320 --> 00:41:00,680
Speaker 1: inside me than you know the money that I'm holding

712
00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:03,600
Speaker 1: in my hands, whether it's from the bank or from myself.

713
00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:06,279
Speaker 2: I had a guest recently and I can't even remember who.

714
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:09,160
Speaker 2: Alex sitting over there will probably scream out their name

715
00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:12,320
Speaker 2: in a minute, because he's like Encyclopedia Brown of guests.

716
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:17,120
Speaker 2: But this guess is our podcast, we should know that

717
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 2: it's probably. He was quick to point out on three

718
00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:30,400
Speaker 2: different occasions a piece of scripture that I'm the worst

719
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:32,840
Speaker 2: at quoting scripture, by the way, So I'm going to

720
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:35,400
Speaker 2: butcher this, but you guys can clean it up for me.

721
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:40,759
Speaker 2: That money is not the root of evil. It's the

722
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 2: love of money that's the root of evil. Is that

723
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:44,840
Speaker 2: paraface correctly?

724
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:45,200
Speaker 1: Yes?

725
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:54,160
Speaker 2: I think that maybe can that distinct. Todd Komerniki, the

726
00:41:54,200 --> 00:42:00,919
Speaker 2: director of the movie Bond Hoffer, said that I knew that.

727
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 2: I told you you'd scream it.

728
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:04,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, you called it.

729
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:09,080
Speaker 2: But the point of it all is I think debt

730
00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:11,760
Speaker 2: can be looked at kind of the same way. Debt

731
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:15,279
Speaker 2: for debt, so that you can have bigger, nicer things

732
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:19,800
Speaker 2: and impress your friends is probably sinful debt to try

733
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:24,840
Speaker 2: to grow and make more money maybe is a distinction

734
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:25,600
Speaker 2: that's different.

735
00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would think so.

736
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:34,480
Speaker 2: Yeah. So in Ashley's case, it was to get an

737
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:37,759
Speaker 2: education so that she can make a living, not so

738
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:39,719
Speaker 2: that she could buy a fancy, nice car. Yeah.

739
00:42:39,719 --> 00:42:41,439
Speaker 1: Well, actually would have been different. I think we would

740
00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:45,279
Speaker 1: had a longer, bigger conversation if she said, let's say

741
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:47,799
Speaker 1: the number was less, and this is common, I have

742
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 1: fifteen sixteen thousand dollars of credit card debt. We're going

743
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:55,239
Speaker 1: to pay that off whatever, But like why or what's

744
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:55,960
Speaker 1: driving that?

745
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,440
Speaker 2: Because of my shoes are nice.

746
00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:01,560
Speaker 1: My shoes rock, you know, I mean I shoot, oh

747
00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:04,000
Speaker 1: that's fair, you know, let's pay it off. So I

748
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:07,960
Speaker 1: think for her it was fairly innocent of like, yeah,

749
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 1: I just I went to school and like I got

750
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:13,399
Speaker 1: a communications degree. Until your credit they don't really pay

751
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:15,880
Speaker 1: that good, And so how do we do it? So

752
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:18,040
Speaker 1: we just kind of devised as simple plans is how

753
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:18,960
Speaker 1: we're going to get rid of it.

754
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:24,200
Speaker 3: But I and actually until this conversation, I had not

755
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:26,920
Speaker 3: even added up like what I owed. I just was

756
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,600
Speaker 3: like blindly kind of like toil.

757
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:33,080
Speaker 2: The conversation that the pre marital conversation of let's talk

758
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:35,880
Speaker 2: about finances. Yes, you hadn't even thought about it.

759
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:38,160
Speaker 3: I hadn't even like added it all up. I had,

760
00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:41,279
Speaker 3: and so anyways, I had like this panic moment. I

761
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:43,520
Speaker 3: found out like the sum of the number, and I

762
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:44,960
Speaker 3: was like, oh, that is.

763
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:45,680
Speaker 1: So much money.

764
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:49,520
Speaker 3: I didn't even make that now in a year, and

765
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:53,279
Speaker 3: so you know, and then what I'm the ten year

766
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:55,200
Speaker 3: plan of paying it off. I'm like, that's a long

767
00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:59,080
Speaker 3: time to pay off all this. I don't really want

768
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:00,880
Speaker 3: that for myself or for us.

769
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:05,399
Speaker 2: Isn't that interesting? Because that's the slippery slope of all

770
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:09,160
Speaker 2: of it, is that it just becomes part of life.

771
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:11,560
Speaker 2: And if you make enough money every week or every

772
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:14,640
Speaker 2: month to make the payments, and he got a little

773
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 2: left over, it's okay.

774
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:18,279
Speaker 3: But I knew when I was marrying, so I knew

775
00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:23,400
Speaker 3: there wouldn't be enough for payments. And I moved without

776
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:27,680
Speaker 3: a job, and so I was like, ah, there's a point.

777
00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:31,479
Speaker 3: And I was living with this family. I was paying

778
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:33,600
Speaker 3: double on my payments. I had to because I couldn't

779
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:37,480
Speaker 3: like defer them, you know, once the payment started that

780
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:41,440
Speaker 3: I had like run out of the funds that I

781
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:45,160
Speaker 3: had moving to Austin, and I was like, what do

782
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:46,759
Speaker 3: I do? What do I do? I started riding my

783
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:49,239
Speaker 3: bike places. Then my bike tiretop popped and so I

784
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:52,279
Speaker 3: was like, okay, I won't pay for gas whatever, And

785
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:56,040
Speaker 3: my sweet sweet husband didn't speak or a boyfriend at

786
00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:58,160
Speaker 3: the time didn't speak up, and at some point I

787
00:44:58,320 --> 00:44:59,880
Speaker 3: had to come to him and I'd say, hey, I like,

788
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:02,319
Speaker 3: I literally don't have any money, and he was like,

789
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:07,239
Speaker 3: I've actually patiently been waiting for you to ask, because

790
00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:10,400
Speaker 3: I know but you you need to ask when you

791
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:10,879
Speaker 3: need help.

792
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:13,240
Speaker 1: And I was like, goe.

793
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:17,080
Speaker 3: So he was like patiently waiting knew that there was

794
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:19,000
Speaker 3: a need, but he was like, I want you to.

795
00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:22,479
Speaker 2: Like ask, why Why did you want to ask?

796
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:24,360
Speaker 1: I was thinking about that just now. Why do I

797
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:29,080
Speaker 1: ask that? I actually think I remember thinking, yeah, all

798
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:31,520
Speaker 1: these puzzle pieces, you know, you're kind of sniffing out,

799
00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:34,000
Speaker 1: you're about to marry somebody, Like are they you know

800
00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:35,359
Speaker 1: who they say they are?

801
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:35,680
Speaker 2: What?

802
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:38,920
Speaker 1: She had sixty two thousand dollars worth of debt. She

803
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:42,960
Speaker 1: was kind of unsure about that initially, didn't even know

804
00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 1: then all these things are happening, there's no money in

805
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:47,920
Speaker 1: the bank, I'm like, is there you almost kind of

806
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:50,480
Speaker 1: like is there something I'm not seeing? Am I blinded

807
00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:55,240
Speaker 1: by the beauty? And like she's actually just terrible with money?

808
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:57,840
Speaker 1: Is she just terrible with money? And the more and

809
00:45:57,920 --> 00:46:01,879
Speaker 1: more I just was learning and smelling, it was like, no,

810
00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 1: she just I mean, these those unfortunate circumstances were just life,

811
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:09,600
Speaker 1: and life just happens, and that doesn't mean you're bad

812
00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:12,359
Speaker 1: with money if it just keeps happening. So I think

813
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 1: when she asked, it felt like that she was just

814
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:20,759
Speaker 1: humble and honest enough to go this is where I'm at,

815
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 1: I think, and I valued that.

816
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:22,799
Speaker 2: Yeah.

817
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:26,040
Speaker 3: I think at the time also you were like I

818
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:30,800
Speaker 3: want you to communicate your needs to the father also

819
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:33,360
Speaker 3: like I want not saying not he was putting himself

820
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:38,440
Speaker 3: as as a father, but he's like, you need to

821
00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:42,200
Speaker 3: be honest and like if you need help, like go

822
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:45,200
Speaker 3: to the father, and so not saying like and I

823
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:48,319
Speaker 3: wanted to play the role of the father, but no

824
00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:49,800
Speaker 3: it doesn't.

825
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:50,919
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, but just.

826
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:55,239
Speaker 3: Ask for help when you need help, and you need

827
00:46:55,880 --> 00:47:12,560
Speaker 3: of the father of people whenever. And so I was like, okay, wow, yeah.

828
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:11,640
Speaker 2: And that concludes part one of my conversation with Brandon

829
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:14,120
Speaker 2: and Ashley Stathus, and you do not want to miss

830
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 2: Part two that's now available to listen to, as you're

831
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:23,720
Speaker 2: about to hear some extraordinary stories of amazing generosity. Together, guys,

832
00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:27,239
Speaker 2: we can change the country, but it starts with you.

833
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:28,879
Speaker 2: I'll see in Part two