Speaker 1: It takes a lot to share with your parents, you know,
Speaker 1: especially at that age when you are kind of starting
Speaker 1: to really want your own independence. It's like, now I
Speaker 1: have to lean on my parents more. And so yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I think another thing. And this isn't just parents,
Speaker 1: but this is like everyone is being like, oh, well
Speaker 1: that's normal or that's you know, oh, everyone feels that
Speaker 1: way in not validating someone's reality. I think that's something
Speaker 1: I seem to be very detrimental for people. Hey, everyone,
Speaker 1: welcome back to our purpose, the number one health podcast
Speaker 1: in the world. Thanks to each and every single one
Speaker 1: of you that come back every week to listen, learn
Speaker 1: and grow. Now, today's guest is someone that we've been
Speaker 1: in touch with for a while. I've been wanting to
Speaker 1: speak to her and I couldn't be more excited to
Speaker 1: Welcome to the podcast. Karen Fox an actress, producer, activist,
Speaker 1: and CEO. She was the executive producer of the Netflix
Speaker 1: comedy series Ad Stopped Embarrassing Me, which was inspired by
Speaker 1: her relationship with her dad, Jamie Fox, who also starred
Speaker 1: in the series. She's also filming a key recurring role
Speaker 1: for the second season of the Hulu comedy series doll
Speaker 1: Face that me and my wife have been watching, and
Speaker 1: she's also the co host and DJ on the hit
Speaker 1: Fox television show Beat Shazam. In August twenty twenty, she
Speaker 1: launched her own podcast alongside her best friend called Am
Speaker 1: I Doing This Right? Which acts as a guidebook for
Speaker 1: young people on how to kickstart their adulthood, which I
Speaker 1: love listening to. Karin, Welcome to the podcast. Hello. First
Speaker 1: of all, I love the way he said adulthood. How
Speaker 1: do you say? No, you guys say it the right way,
Speaker 1: we say the right way. I'm not sure. I mean
Speaker 1: I think so. Yeah, we had we had we had
Speaker 1: movies named so, we had Kidulthood, Adulthood. Have you ever
Speaker 1: seen any of these movies? No, I've never heard it.
Speaker 1: They're actually really good. They're all about the street culture
Speaker 1: in London. So oh no, I've never heard of it.
Speaker 1: I forgot that. Yeah. I'm really happy when I get
Speaker 1: reminded that I still have my British accent, oh, because
Speaker 1: all my brit friends oh constantly teasing me that I've
Speaker 1: lost it. Really no, I mean it's gonna it goes
Speaker 1: far in America where like what British accent like I
Speaker 1: could listen to you all day. Hearing that intro, I'm like,
Speaker 1: can you read that to me? Every part? Please? Please? Well, well,
Speaker 1: for me, it's the other way around, because every time
Speaker 1: I hear something in an American accent, it sounds authoritative,
Speaker 1: It sounds like a ted talk. It's really because I
Speaker 1: grew up. I grew up when I stepped foot in
Speaker 1: New York City. When I first moved to America five
Speaker 1: years ago, I was like, I'm in a movie because
Speaker 1: to me, everything looks like a set because I grew
Speaker 1: up watching American talent. No, that makes sense. I mean
Speaker 1: New York. When you go to New York, it really
Speaker 1: does feel like that, like it really holds up. When
Speaker 1: you come to La you're like, wait, like it's kind
Speaker 1: of it's not as beautiful as there's some grimy areas,
Speaker 1: or you're like, this doesn't have that magical New yorkness
Speaker 1: to it. Well, you were just saying you love London.
Speaker 1: I love. Tell me about your experiences in London. You
Speaker 1: were there for a movie. You said, yeah, I filmed
Speaker 1: my movie forty seven meters down Uncaged, which is a
Speaker 1: shark movie. But we filmed in these huge tanks in London.
Speaker 1: But London is mye what do you mean explain? Yeah, please,
Speaker 1: So the entire movie is set underwater. First of all,
Speaker 1: I lied to the director and told him I knew
Speaker 1: how to swim when I didn't know how to swim.
Speaker 1: And but yeah, they built these huge tanks where they
Speaker 1: had these really intricate sets underwater, and we were scuba
Speaker 1: diving in the movie. We get lost in these games,
Speaker 1: and so we spent months under the surface of the water.
Speaker 1: So we'd go into work at six am it was dark,
Speaker 1: go underwater, see no light, then come up at like
Speaker 1: eight pm. And I didn't see the sun for basically
Speaker 1: didn'tee the sun for months. Wow, I know. And I'd
Speaker 1: have like a little light in my trailer there's like
Speaker 1: little UV lights because I was like, this is going
Speaker 1: to like negatively affect my mental health. So I was
Speaker 1: like I would sit in like roast in front of
Speaker 1: the light at my lunch break. Wait, you actually didn't
Speaker 1: see the sun. Oh No, I actually didn't for months.
Speaker 1: And they did that as part of getting you into characters. No, No,
Speaker 1: it was just because we had to shoot underwater. So
Speaker 1: you go inside, you'd go underwater, you come out and
Speaker 1: be dark. Then you'd go do it the next day.
Speaker 1: And so it was like, yeah, I don't know if
Speaker 1: I'll ever shoot a movie underwater again. I feel like
Speaker 1: I got my the taste of it from that. That's
Speaker 1: that's the last time you lied about being able to swim.
Speaker 1: That Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna be truthful. And it was
Speaker 1: my first role. So I was like I'll do anything.
Speaker 1: You know. You're like, oh, yeah, I can totally swim,
Speaker 1: such a great swimmer. And then they throw you in
Speaker 1: the tank the first day and you're dogging paddling and
Speaker 1: they're like, wait, did we guess the wrong girl? Wait?
Speaker 1: How how how quick is that learning curve? Because how
Speaker 1: you when you're when you're swimming for your life, it's
Speaker 1: pretty quick. It's pretty quick. Um No, I mean I
Speaker 1: had to pass the swim test the first day. I didn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't pass it. Um, And they were like, Corrin
Speaker 1: and get it together. I was just dating my boyfriend
Speaker 1: at the time and he's like a lifeguard, like a
Speaker 1: certified whatever, and so he was like, Okay, these are
Speaker 1: the techniques to use. He was sending me YouTube videos
Speaker 1: and the next day I went and I passed the
Speaker 1: swim test and they're like, Okay, you can now shoot
Speaker 1: the movie. I love that. Yeah, so your boyfriend's like,
Speaker 1: this is how you pretend to be able to do
Speaker 1: front stroke, this is backstroke. It was literally treading water.
Speaker 1: It was how to tread water video YouTube videos. Well,
Speaker 1: I love that. That's amazing. What gave you the courage
Speaker 1: and confidence to be able to say you could do
Speaker 1: something and then figure it out? Because I think that
Speaker 1: that mindset often works against us, like people have imposter syndrome.
Speaker 1: I feel I can't do it, so I can't even
Speaker 1: put my foot forward. What gave you the confidence to
Speaker 1: say I can do that, I'll figure it out, which
Speaker 1: you did. Um. I do suffer from imposter syndrome a lot.
Speaker 1: But honestly, and it sounds tacky, but I really think
Speaker 1: my dad was a big, big push in that, and
Speaker 1: the fact that, like my entire life, he told me,
Speaker 1: I mean this is a big statement, like you can
Speaker 1: do anything, and you are so capable, and like I
Speaker 1: just heard that constantly, and so when I got offered
Speaker 1: this role and I didn't know how to swim, I
Speaker 1: kind of heard him like, well you can do anything,
Speaker 1: and I was like, well, I'll figure it out. On
Speaker 1: set which is what I did. But I really it
Speaker 1: was instilled this confidence that like I was bull at
Speaker 1: a young age, and so I felt confident to do it.
Speaker 1: What was your first experience of that when going back
Speaker 1: with that father daughter relationship, Like when was the first
Speaker 1: time you felt you were hearing that from him? And
Speaker 1: what was the first few things you started doing based
Speaker 1: on that? Um, I feel like he set up my
Speaker 1: whole life, and you know, like when you're a child,
Speaker 1: there's not that many things that you have to meet
Speaker 1: in that way. I think a lot of that came
Speaker 1: when I was dating in high school and things like
Speaker 1: that and really instilling in me my worth and just
Speaker 1: having like little petty high school you know, breakups and
Speaker 1: being devastated in him, just being like there is no
Speaker 1: man that like can ever take away yourself worth, and
Speaker 1: like do you know he always says do you know
Speaker 1: who you are? And I don't think he beings in
Speaker 1: my last name, but like in my essence and like
Speaker 1: how powerful of a woman I am? And I just
Speaker 1: felt that, I think specifically at that age when I
Speaker 1: really needed like a male voice that was like giving
Speaker 1: me that confidence when like you know, I had little
Speaker 1: breakups here and there. Well, you are definitely a powerful person.
Speaker 1: You're doing so many incredible things. You are producing, you're
Speaker 1: an activist, you're you host your own podcast. Tell us
Speaker 1: about what are you doing to balance all of that?
Speaker 1: Because I find that, especially in you know, your generation,
Speaker 1: my generation, there's this ambition and drive to do a
Speaker 1: lot of things. Yeah, but when you turn it from
Speaker 1: idea into implementation, things get real. How have you managed
Speaker 1: to be able to dabble in so many things but
Speaker 1: still you know, figure yourself out? Um, it was tough,
Speaker 1: and there was Recently I realized, Okay, there's a lot
Speaker 1: on my plate and there's a lot of different hats
Speaker 1: I wear and people. I have to be the producer
Speaker 1: and then I have to be the actor, and then
Speaker 1: I have to be the host, and then I have
Speaker 1: to be you know this that, And I realize, okay,
Speaker 1: like I can't do all of this by myself. So
Speaker 1: I actually this year got a life coach. And I
Speaker 1: don't know if you've ever had one, been one, I
Speaker 1: feel like you could be one. Yeah, I'm a life coaching.
Speaker 1: We have our own certification school. Yeah, you're definitely like it,
Speaker 1: but really, just having someone sit down with me and prioritize, okay,
Speaker 1: like what do you want to accomplish first? And like
Speaker 1: how do we get there? And making deadlines and making
Speaker 1: I think it's just hard when you have so many
Speaker 1: passions to figure out, like where do I start? And
Speaker 1: it's easy to start a bunch of little things and
Speaker 1: then not really get to the end of them. And
Speaker 1: so I really needed that structure. So I meet with
Speaker 1: her every week. We go over my priorities. We figure
Speaker 1: out what days I'm going to do what. That's a
Speaker 1: big one is scheduling in like I will send this
Speaker 1: email at this time. I will do this because things
Speaker 1: back up, you know, and it's so easy to get behind.
Speaker 1: So she's been a godsend and her plus my therapist
Speaker 1: equals healthy caren. See I love that. So I actually
Speaker 1: want to dive into that because I think, See I
Speaker 1: love that. So I actually want to dive into that
Speaker 1: because I think today we're hearing a lot about a
Speaker 1: lot of people. You here say, well, you know, I
Speaker 1: was speaking to my therapist and you just said, obviously
Speaker 1: you've been figuring out life with your life coach and
Speaker 1: planning and scheduling. Tell me how you find therapists and
Speaker 1: coaches help you personally differently, and and like you just
Speaker 1: said now that healthy career equals there's my therapist, which
Speaker 1: I love. What are they bringing to that's different from
Speaker 1: each other because I think we're living at a time
Speaker 1: where people are kind of becoming what I way therapy is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I still feel like coaching is is an unknown art. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I really didn't even when I went looking for a
Speaker 1: life coach, didn't really know even what I was looking for.
Speaker 1: I just knew I had this need that with my therapist,
Speaker 1: you know, we go through trauma, we go through you know,
Speaker 1: you know, my emotional states and how to overcome some things.
Speaker 1: And then I felt like I needed somebody to help me,
Speaker 1: not an assistant in a way, but someone who was
Speaker 1: just helping me prioritize, you know, all these projects I had.
Speaker 1: So I feel like there's like a type A type
Speaker 1: B side too, Like my therapist is from my type
Speaker 1: be creative side that's messy and all over the place,
Speaker 1: and then my Type A side is like my life
Speaker 1: coach was like, let's schedule and play on everything. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love that. I've I've always seen it as therapists
Speaker 1: help us make sense of what's going on, and then
Speaker 1: coaches help us make things happen. Yes, yeah, it's this
Speaker 1: idea of like therapists they help us unpack our past,
Speaker 1: they help us untangle what's going on. They help us
Speaker 1: really move on from our past, and then coaches help
Speaker 1: you go. Well, where do you want to be? Let's
Speaker 1: use your present to get there. And I you know,
Speaker 1: I encourage everyone to have both coaches and therapists in
Speaker 1: their life because I think that's a brilliant What even
Speaker 1: urge you to go out there? Like? How did you
Speaker 1: think about that? What was going on in your life
Speaker 1: where you were like, I need help in my life
Speaker 1: because I think asking for help or looking for help,
Speaker 1: either from family or friends, sometimes we could even get
Speaker 1: in our own way. I was speaking to a friend
Speaker 1: the other day and he was telling me how someone
Speaker 1: in his life just no matter how much he's trying
Speaker 1: to support or facilitate, that person won't accept help. How
Speaker 1: do you feel we can all open up to accept
Speaker 1: more help in our life and know that it's okay
Speaker 1: to one help. I think it's a self worth thing,
Speaker 1: you know. I feel like a lot of people don't
Speaker 1: feel worthy of help or don't don't want to be
Speaker 1: a burden. And I think for me, I mean when
Speaker 1: I was diagnosed with an anxiety to sort of at
Speaker 1: age fourteen, I was the type of person where I
Speaker 1: was like, I want to go to therapist, I want
Speaker 1: to do workbooks, I want to like I was just
Speaker 1: very much so like I don't want to be held
Speaker 1: back by this, And so I think I applied that
Speaker 1: later on in life when I was realizing, Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: feeling confused, I'm feeling lost, I don't know where to start,
Speaker 1: I don't know how to finish things like now I
Speaker 1: need a different form of help, and so I feel
Speaker 1: like I was just someone who naturally gravitated towards that.
Speaker 1: But I do think it's about feeling worthy and feeling
Speaker 1: deserving of help and eliminating that feeling of being a
Speaker 1: burden on someone else. Absolutely, I love that. That's such
Speaker 1: a Topfulanzer, Thank you for that, because I think so
Speaker 1: many people right now are going to be listening to
Speaker 1: what you just said. And I'm that if you listen
Speaker 1: deeply to what Karina said, that's going to urge you
Speaker 1: to break through that. Yeah, And on the other side
Speaker 1: of it, I think people love offering help you know,
Speaker 1: people want to feel needed and want to feel purposeful,
Speaker 1: and so you're you're also giving you know, people an
Speaker 1: opportunity to show up for you. Yeah. I think giving
Speaker 1: and getting up both privileges, right. It's like that idea
Speaker 1: of if you have something to give and you're able
Speaker 1: to give, that's an honor. Yeah. And and for someone
Speaker 1: else to have someone to give that's ready to receive,
Speaker 1: that's an honor too, and I think you forget that.
Speaker 1: So I love that you spoke earlier about your father
Speaker 1: and the advice he gave you and how that's kept
Speaker 1: you going. But then you also have a show called
Speaker 1: Dad Stop Embarrassing Me. So so Dad's on one end,
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, Dad gave you this really good advice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and that's like, Dad, stop embarrassing me. How many times
Speaker 1: have you felt both those emotions in the same day,
Speaker 1: every day, every single day? No. I mean my dad
Speaker 1: and I have such a funny, like yin yang relationship
Speaker 1: where he is this like over the top performative guy.
Speaker 1: He was drawing attention to himself all the time, and
Speaker 1: I was more reserved and quiet growing up, and so
Speaker 1: that was just this perfect storm for him to embarrass me,
Speaker 1: and because he's drawing attention to himself all the time.
Speaker 1: When you're a teenage girl, that's the last thing you
Speaker 1: ever want your dad to do, regardless of if he's
Speaker 1: famous or not. You don't you want your dad to
Speaker 1: fly under the radar. And so we had all these
Speaker 1: funny moments of like him doing too much or showing
Speaker 1: up at my cheerleading game wearing like super tight clothes
Speaker 1: and me being like, ah, that's so embarrassing. And so
Speaker 1: we just wrote episodes and pitched it to Netflix and
Speaker 1: they loved it, and so it was such a cathartic
Speaker 1: thing for the both of us because at the time
Speaker 1: I was really embarrassed. You know, it wasn't a joke.
Speaker 1: At the time. When you're sixteen seventeen, it feels like
Speaker 1: the end of the world. So it was like full
Speaker 1: circle for us to look back and like laugh at
Speaker 1: these things that maybe at the time weren't as funny. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love that. The thing I love most about is
Speaker 1: I'm not a dad yet, but I can imagine that
Speaker 1: if I when I become a dad, and if I'm
Speaker 1: lucky enough to have a daughter, then I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm going to be I'm gonna be doing crazy things, right, Yeah, Like,
Speaker 1: what would be your advice to people that are about
Speaker 1: to become dads of the warnings of one are the
Speaker 1: things that embarrassing one are the things that are good.
Speaker 1: I mean at the end of the day that I
Speaker 1: think that is part of your job description as a dad,
Speaker 1: Like embarrassing your your child. I think it's part of it.
Speaker 1: I think it's a rite of passage for kids to
Speaker 1: go through. So I don't really want to steer away
Speaker 1: from it. But I would say in my dad's experience,
Speaker 1: my dad was very He liked to play pretend he
Speaker 1: was a bad cop with boyfriends. Yes, I can imagine,
Speaker 1: and he's not at all. He's like unemotional. He's an actor.
Speaker 1: I mean he cries all the time. He's like not
Speaker 1: like that at all. But he loved to put on
Speaker 1: the you know, I'm going to bring my shotgun, you know,
Speaker 1: that whole thing. And that was just like, Dad, I'm learning.
Speaker 1: Just let me give me this vace to just grow
Speaker 1: and figure this out. You don't have to fight my
Speaker 1: battles for me. We have an episode on the show,
Speaker 1: it's episode two, I think, where he goes like knocking
Speaker 1: on the boyfriend's door with all of his friends, And
Speaker 1: you really did that in real life to my high
Speaker 1: school boyfriend. He went knocking on a store to try to,
Speaker 1: I don't know, scare him off. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you wanted to do. I was like, that's amazing. What
Speaker 1: what do you think it is when as kids? I
Speaker 1: feel like when we're growing up, we're sometimes we're embarrassed
Speaker 1: of them, sometimes we're embarrassed for them, sometimes we're embarrassed
Speaker 1: for ourselves. But then as we grow older, I feel
Speaker 1: like a lot of us develop a sense of gratitude
Speaker 1: and yeah, and connection. Was there ever a time where
Speaker 1: you felt you were bitter or resentful towards your parents?
Speaker 1: Not for anything legitimate, but just as a young kid
Speaker 1: growing up, were you really just don't how are you
Speaker 1: able to overcome that? How do you think that healed
Speaker 1: over time? When you you kind of like, oh, I
Speaker 1: really wish they didn't do that something more serious, not
Speaker 1: as funny. Yeah, and then how do you kind of
Speaker 1: overcome that as an adult? Yeah? Well, my dad just
Speaker 1: put out a book, but he talks about in the
Speaker 1: book we went to therapy together when when I was
Speaker 1: in high schooler or maybe you're in college. Because we
Speaker 1: were kind of butting heads a lot, I felt like
Speaker 1: you really didn't understand me, and so I feel like
Speaker 1: for me, I was really lucky because both my parents
Speaker 1: listened to me and they were able to like, at
Speaker 1: least let me have my platform, even if they didn't understand.
Speaker 1: And I think it's very normal as a kid to
Speaker 1: go through that, like my parents don't get me and
Speaker 1: they don't get what I want to do. And we
Speaker 1: definitely had those moments where, you know, and it's funny
Speaker 1: to say this, but going to college. My dad went
Speaker 1: to college but didn't graduate, so he didn't really understand
Speaker 1: like how impactful that was going to be for me.
Speaker 1: And that was actually a point of contention for us
Speaker 1: where I was like, I'm going to college and he's like,
Speaker 1: why you don't have to go, Like you can just
Speaker 1: get into the industry, and I was like, no, this
Speaker 1: is what I want to do and I need you
Speaker 1: to respect this, which sounds crazy to be telling a
Speaker 1: parent that, but he didn't really understand. And those were
Speaker 1: times where I was like, you just have to listen
Speaker 1: to me. And then when I graduated, he was like crying.
Speaker 1: He was like, oh my god like. Of course, this
Speaker 1: is such a huge accomplishment, and I just didn't understand
Speaker 1: what this meant to you, and I do now. Yeah, Wow,
Speaker 1: I thank you for sharing that. I want to share
Speaker 1: with you biggest news of the year. How many of
Speaker 1: you want to meditate? I can see your heads nodding,
Speaker 1: I can see you raising your hands. I can see
Speaker 1: you saying, yes, Jay, I really want to learn to meditate.
Speaker 1: How many of you would like to learn to meditate
Speaker 1: with me every single day? Now? I already know what
Speaker 1: the answer is because I know how many messages DMS
Speaker 1: reviews notes that I get saying Jay, I'd love to
Speaker 1: meditate with you. Last year, we took meditation to Instagram
Speaker 1: and I meditated for around forty days live and twenty
Speaker 1: million of you tuned in. Now I am taking that
Speaker 1: same focus, that same presence to Calm. I've partnered up
Speaker 1: with Calm to release a new series called The Daily Jay,
Speaker 1: where you can meditate with me every single day for
Speaker 1: seven minutes. To make it a real habit. I would
Speaker 1: love for you to come and join me and take
Speaker 1: part in building a really powerful meditation practice. And guess
Speaker 1: what We're going to do it together? Head over right
Speaker 1: now at Calm dot com forward slash j to get
Speaker 1: forty percent off a premium membership. That's Calm dot com
Speaker 1: Forward slash J. Yeah. It's so it's so interesting to
Speaker 1: just hear about relationships and ups and downs because I
Speaker 1: think everyone's kind of on their own journey and everyone's
Speaker 1: listening and watching has a different experience or position with
Speaker 1: their family. And I think hearing this, I think what
Speaker 1: I've always found that when when I hear about positive
Speaker 1: experiences of parenting or anything, I always think for people,
Speaker 1: I'm like, if you didn't get that, try and be there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And that's and that's how you also get to experience
Speaker 1: that because I think about them, like, there may be
Speaker 1: a lot of people listening going, well, I didn't get that.
Speaker 1: I wish I had that, And I'm like, but then
Speaker 1: we can have that opportunity to go and be that
Speaker 1: and and try and have that experience that way, so
Speaker 1: that you still get to experience in your life. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I mean I think that just goes to so
Speaker 1: many other things too, like healing your own trauma so
Speaker 1: that you don't, you know, continue to pass it on
Speaker 1: to you know, generation generations. And I feel like our
Speaker 1: our generation is a lot more aware of, you know,
Speaker 1: our mental health and the things that I've happened to
Speaker 1: us and like healing them now so we don't pass
Speaker 1: them on later, you know. Yeah, well, thank you for
Speaker 1: including me in your generation. You're you're you're much younger, yes,
Speaker 1: your millennial yes, okay, okay, okay. But that's a great
Speaker 1: segue because months ago you posted on your Instagram Karin's
Speaker 1: Guide to Wollness. Yeah. I love that, and I loved
Speaker 1: what you were sharing there. I wanted to know where
Speaker 1: did you come up with that list from and how
Speaker 1: did it develop, and and why did you feel the
Speaker 1: need to share it too, because I think that's that
Speaker 1: was so powerful that you did that. Um. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean my mental health journey started when I was fourteen,
Speaker 1: when I was diagnosed with anxiety. And at the time,
Speaker 1: there was no conversation for mental health. There was no hashtags,
Speaker 1: there was no social media, there was no brands doing
Speaker 1: self care Sunday like that just wasn't a thing, and
Speaker 1: so I had to spend many years just doing a
Speaker 1: lot of my own research on what anxiety was and
Speaker 1: how to treat it and what worked for me. So
Speaker 1: over time I developed this list in my phone, which
Speaker 1: is what you're referring to. I just screenshot at it
Speaker 1: post on my Instagram of things that worked for me
Speaker 1: and like what made me feel better, and it was
Speaker 1: like working out, going to therapy, and it's very specific
Speaker 1: for me. It's like one to two times a week,
Speaker 1: you know, And I don't recommend it, and I think
Speaker 1: I wrote, like, I don't recommend that for everyone, but
Speaker 1: I just started writing things, Oh, working out works, OH,
Speaker 1: going to therapy works. Oh journaling works for me, OH
Speaker 1: meditating works for me. And I would just keep adding
Speaker 1: to my list so that you know, when you're having
Speaker 1: you're in a really anxious moment or you're going through
Speaker 1: a tough time, it's hard to remember all of the
Speaker 1: tools you have. You're like, I don't remember anything. So
Speaker 1: it was nice for me to have it in my
Speaker 1: phone so I could reference it, you know, if I
Speaker 1: needed it. When you went through it at fourteen, what
Speaker 1: would the conversations like at school or like with friends
Speaker 1: or with even your parents, Like I can imagine that
Speaker 1: I agree with you that now we're living at a
Speaker 1: time where you just opened up a social media app
Speaker 1: and that'll be someone talking about mental health or right
Speaker 1: someone sharing something, or a brand's doing something, or there's
Speaker 1: an event for mental health and there's more therapists and
Speaker 1: coaches in the world at that point. Tell me how
Speaker 1: that dialogue went for you in terms of getting the
Speaker 1: diagnosis and then figuring out next steps, and how did
Speaker 1: people respond at school? What did kids know? Did your
Speaker 1: friends know? Like, No, No, I didn't feel comfortable enough
Speaker 1: to share it. I was really really ashamed of it,
Speaker 1: and I felt like I didn't want to be called
Speaker 1: the C word, which is crazy, and because I didn't
Speaker 1: really know what it was and people weren't talking about it,
Speaker 1: so I want years where I didn't tell any of
Speaker 1: my friends. I immediately told my parents, though, because I
Speaker 1: got to the point where I didn't want to go
Speaker 1: to school. I was so anxious that I couldn't even
Speaker 1: sit in a classroom. So I knew in my head, Okay,
Speaker 1: something's wrong. I know other kids can't be feeling this way.
Speaker 1: And that's how I got started going to therapy. And
Speaker 1: I've had the same therapist since I was fourteen. I
Speaker 1: love this woman so much. But yeah, but but no,
Speaker 1: it took me a long time to be able to
Speaker 1: like and it sounds weird, but like come out and
Speaker 1: say I have anxiety. And I did that through an
Speaker 1: article I wrote for Refinery twenty nine in like twenty seventeen,
Speaker 1: twenty eighteen, and I was terrified. I was really terrified
Speaker 1: to tell the world that I had anxiety, which sounds crazy,
Speaker 1: not too the C word, but it sounds, you know,
Speaker 1: unbelievable now because there's so much there's so much of
Speaker 1: a conversation for it. Yeah. Absolutely, And what were you
Speaker 1: experiencing then, Like when you said you anxious to go
Speaker 1: to school? What did that feel like? What did that
Speaker 1: mean at that time for you? It was I mean
Speaker 1: there was a lot of physical anxiety symptoms. So it
Speaker 1: was like my palms were setting my you know, my
Speaker 1: heart's being out of my chest. I keep thinking that
Speaker 1: a plane is going to hit the school. Like I
Speaker 1: just these irrational fears and thoughts and panic attacks and
Speaker 1: things like that. I struggled with panic disorder for a
Speaker 1: long time. Seventy five percent of mental health conditions start
Speaker 1: between the age of fourteen and twenty four, so I
Speaker 1: was like right on part like fourteen years old. It's
Speaker 1: just you know, showed up. And I've been in therapy
Speaker 1: ever since. Yeah, no, but that's it's it's incredible that
Speaker 1: you've been able to find the advice, seek the advice,
Speaker 1: build it, then be honest about sharing it, especially at
Speaker 1: a time when it is hard as a fourteen year
Speaker 1: old ye not know what's going on. Then you can't
Speaker 1: talk to your friends about it because you don't know
Speaker 1: how they're going to react and what words they're going
Speaker 1: to use. And then you've got the added challenge of like, well,
Speaker 1: now my parents know because they have to know, and
Speaker 1: where's this going. But it sounds like when I look
Speaker 1: at that Curren's Guide to Wellness and I look at
Speaker 1: things like socializing with friends twice a week, right, you
Speaker 1: all said giving back once a month, which I want
Speaker 1: to dive into some of those. But I love what
Speaker 1: you said, and it was you said it so simply,
Speaker 1: but it's actually so profound. You just said, I was
Speaker 1: creating a toolkit for myself because when you're feeling anxious,
Speaker 1: you forget what to do. Oh yeah, when you go
Speaker 1: to your tool kit, you're like, oh, this is this
Speaker 1: is the stuff I need to do. And I think
Speaker 1: that's such a great way of putting it for anyone
Speaker 1: and everyone. It's like you have to create a guide
Speaker 1: when you're not experiencing anxiety so that when you're in anxiety,
Speaker 1: you know what to look at exactly. Let's dive into
Speaker 1: some of those When you say socializing with friends twice
Speaker 1: a week, what was the type of socializing that helped
Speaker 1: you relieve anxiety versus one type of socializing actually created
Speaker 1: more of it? Right, Like being in college and going
Speaker 1: to a college party, Maybe isn't the type of socializing
Speaker 1: that's going to relieve anxiety. But I'm like meaningful conversations,
Speaker 1: movie nights, going out to dinner, or just being with
Speaker 1: like a close knit group of friends. Yeah, that definitely
Speaker 1: doesn't refer to just like hitting the town. Maybe that
Speaker 1: works for some people. Again, it's like for me, but
Speaker 1: for me, it was just having real conversations and just
Speaker 1: you know, being in company. I think when you feel
Speaker 1: anxious or depressed, you tend to go inward, and I realize, okay,
Speaker 1: I have to force myself to go outwards, you know,
Speaker 1: when I'm feeling when I'm not feeling well. Yeah, what
Speaker 1: are some of the mistakes you think you've seen that
Speaker 1: parents make? Like, so maybe there's parents listening to this,
Speaker 1: young parents or parents with young kids listening to the
Speaker 1: podcast right now. What are some of the things that
Speaker 1: you think really hard when your child's going through it?
Speaker 1: But from a child's perspective who's or a teenager's perspective
Speaker 1: who's experiencing anxiety, What are some of the things parents
Speaker 1: can do better? And what are some of the mistakes
Speaker 1: you've seen people made, especially through your ambassador and active
Speaker 1: activists work. I'm sure you're hearing a lot of teenagers say, well,
Speaker 1: my parents don't understand this, or my parents are pushing this.
Speaker 1: What are some of the things you can give us
Speaker 1: to think about. Um, I mean, I'm not a parent,
Speaker 1: so I don't know. I think what my parents did
Speaker 1: really great is hearing me and then you know, coming
Speaker 1: up like what are we going to do now and
Speaker 1: making me feel like really safe, and the fact that
Speaker 1: they were going to you know, find me someone to
Speaker 1: talk to and like you know, get me there and
Speaker 1: things like that. But I also really wanted to go
Speaker 1: to therapy, and so I don't know if like forcing
Speaker 1: a child who's not ready that could I saw that
Speaker 1: with other friends of mine really backfire and put a
Speaker 1: bad taste in their mouth for therapy later on, and
Speaker 1: so I think it's really like just being present isn't
Speaker 1: listening to what your child needs and if they're coming
Speaker 1: to you like feeling honored because it's it takes a
Speaker 1: lot to share with your parents, you know, especially at
Speaker 1: that age when you are kind of starting to really
Speaker 1: want your own independence. It's like, now I have to
Speaker 1: lean on my parents more. And so yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: I think another thing, and this isn't just parents, but
Speaker 1: this is like everyone is is being like, oh, well
Speaker 1: that's normal or that's you know, oh everyone feels that way,
Speaker 1: and not validating someone's reality. I think that's something I
Speaker 1: seem to be very detrimental for people. Yeah, well thank you,
Speaker 1: and yeah, I completely agree. I know you're not a parent,
Speaker 1: but I always feel like it's interesting for parents to
Speaker 1: hear it from kids. Yeah, and it's almost like we've
Speaker 1: all been children, and I feel like we forget that
Speaker 1: when we become an adult or you become a parent
Speaker 1: and sort of hear it from and even what you
Speaker 1: shared about your friends and saying like, actually, what we
Speaker 1: don't want is that everyone listens to this podcast and
Speaker 1: then goes to their kid and says you need to
Speaker 1: go to therapy. Look what you know, yeah, and then
Speaker 1: that kid's like, but I don't want to go to therapy.
Speaker 1: And then what you just said that when someone feels
Speaker 1: forced to do that, that actually ruins that experience for
Speaker 1: them even in the future. And so I think that's
Speaker 1: a that's a great insight that I think could easily
Speaker 1: be missed because I think a lot of people do
Speaker 1: hear a piece of advice and then go, Okay, well
Speaker 1: that's what my kid needs to do. But being present
Speaker 1: listening is u yeah, and there's other like outlets for anxiety.
Speaker 1: There's you know, music, or there's you know, like there's
Speaker 1: other things. Like I really love journaling as a kid,
Speaker 1: like I just grew up doing I still do it
Speaker 1: now and like that was so cathartic for me and
Speaker 1: almost as healing as therapy, and so like, if that's
Speaker 1: not the thing, and that's this is the whole thing.
Speaker 1: When I talk about mental health, it's it's trial and error, right,
Speaker 1: Like it doesn't work for everyone, and so you have
Speaker 1: to try one thing and be like, oh, Okay, that
Speaker 1: didn't work, let me try this. And that's how my
Speaker 1: list was created, was I did a million other things
Speaker 1: besides the ten things on there that didn't work. Yes, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: Me and my wife actually started a new I don't know,
Speaker 1: maybe when this is out it will be maybe not.
Speaker 1: We've been doing a new series of doing things together
Speaker 1: that's meant to relieve your anxiety. Oh my gosh. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And so we went last week we went to this
Speaker 1: video's not out here, but we went to a break room.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've ever been to Are you
Speaker 1: hit things? Were you hit things? So we were not
Speaker 1: feeling stressed or anxious that day. And actually being with
Speaker 1: my wife is like one of my favorite things. Like
Speaker 1: I love filming with her. I'm always just like if
Speaker 1: I could just be with you all there would be amazing.
Speaker 1: And so we're off there to this rage room to
Speaker 1: break stuff and we walk into this room and it
Speaker 1: literally feels like I'm in a set of the movie Sore.
Speaker 1: Walk in and then you see all these like computers, there,
Speaker 1: there's bottles, there's everything because and then there's like all
Speaker 1: these different baseball bats and lead pipes and all this
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. You want to be in there with
Speaker 1: the wrong person, Yeah, you don't want to be in there.
Speaker 1: And the thing is, you know what was really interesting
Speaker 1: Me and my wife went in there, and we walked
Speaker 1: out feeling more anxious than we didn't walking in because
Speaker 1: we realized that we don't like breaking stuff. During that,
Speaker 1: even if I was dressed, I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: really want to break stuff. I don't. We were like,
Speaker 1: my wife's holding them, and you know what my wife's like,
Speaker 1: and she's holding a bottle and she's like yeah, And
Speaker 1: then I'm like trying to break stuff and I'm using
Speaker 1: all my force when I'm like, this is not making
Speaker 1: me happy, it's actually giving me anxiety. And then I
Speaker 1: read a study afterwards that said if you're anxious before,
Speaker 1: it relieves it, but if you're not anxious before, it
Speaker 1: creates it. And I was like I should have learn
Speaker 1: this before. And the day the wrong day. And the
Speaker 1: best thing, well, the funniest thing was when we came out.
Speaker 1: I was talking to the lady who uh, you know,
Speaker 1: was there and knew about the experience, and she was
Speaker 1: saying that people come there when they get divorced or
Speaker 1: break ups, and then they often put like pictures of
Speaker 1: the person and then you know, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: that makes sense, now I get it. But again it's
Speaker 1: like different things work for different people that day. We
Speaker 1: also did a splatter room, which is where you get
Speaker 1: lots of paint and you get to paint canvases. Oh
Speaker 1: that's cool and it was so fun, like we were
Speaker 1: both just like I would do this every week because
Speaker 1: it was so nice to make a mess without having
Speaker 1: any repercussions, right that it's like a different type of
Speaker 1: mess than the one before totally. And no. I will
Speaker 1: say though, for one of my self care tools is
Speaker 1: like whenever I had a breakup, I always took up
Speaker 1: boxing at that time, and you know, like you know,
Speaker 1: and it was very cathartic. You picture your excess spacing,
Speaker 1: you just punch it, you know, and so but exactly
Speaker 1: when you're in that space, when you need that outlet,
Speaker 1: it makes sense. But when you're just going in, it's
Speaker 1: like this feels not good to me. Yeah, exactly, going
Speaker 1: to a more beautiful one. Giving back once a month.
Speaker 1: I wanted to ask you about that, like, first of all,
Speaker 1: when did you discover that that was something that really
Speaker 1: helped you? And give me some examples of the things
Speaker 1: you've done over time, especially when you were younger and
Speaker 1: now today as well, Like what are some of the
Speaker 1: things that you've done that you felt were really a
Speaker 1: big part of that giving back that made a difference. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, my philanthropic work and my advocacy work is
Speaker 1: some of my favorite work that I do. And so
Speaker 1: because I am an ambassador for NOMI, the National Alliance
Speaker 1: for Mental Illness, and because I work with other organizations
Speaker 1: like I get to do that on a large scale
Speaker 1: very often now. But before I was just something I
Speaker 1: had to put in my schedule. When I was at USC,
Speaker 1: I used to just volunteer at a local homeless shelter
Speaker 1: every Sunday or Saturday morning, and I just you know,
Speaker 1: give the meals and things like that. And so I
Speaker 1: think just thinking outside of yourself, because again, when you're
Speaker 1: anxious or you're depressed or whatever you get it, you
Speaker 1: get so consumed and you get stuck in a rut
Speaker 1: in your head. And when you think outside of yourself, like, oh,
Speaker 1: someone else's needs right now, and at least for thirty
Speaker 1: minutes an hour, Like you're not worried about yourself. We're
Speaker 1: not worried about all the things that are making you
Speaker 1: feel anxious or depressed or whatever. And so I found
Speaker 1: that to be very healing for me. And then now
Speaker 1: to be able to do that on a large scale
Speaker 1: and speak with Nami and lobby Congress and all that stuff.
Speaker 1: It's giving back on a bigger scale, but it still
Speaker 1: provides relief for me. Yeah, I love that, And all
Speaker 1: the studies back that up and show that. Yeah, even
Speaker 1: when we're experiencing anxiety and stress, when we go and
Speaker 1: relieve the anxiety and stress of others or feel like
Speaker 1: we're working on that, it massively impacts how we feel. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's such a great job, not to just do things
Speaker 1: for myself, but you know it does. There is a
Speaker 1: reciprocal thing. When you're you know, giving back, you're also
Speaker 1: and we said that earlier, you're also you know getting
Speaker 1: something from it as well. Yeah. Absolutely, And when you're
Speaker 1: in some of those rooms, like when you're lobbying Congress
Speaker 1: or like standing up for a write or do you
Speaker 1: ever feel like you ever like what am I doing?
Speaker 1: Like I can't believe I'm here, Like from having experienced
Speaker 1: anxiety to now like being an activist, And that's that's
Speaker 1: an amazing journey in and of itself. Yeah, when I
Speaker 1: lobbied Congress with Nami and I remember we were getting
Speaker 1: off the bus at DC, did to walk up the
Speaker 1: steps of the Capitol. I was like, every anxious moment,
Speaker 1: panic attack was worth it to be standing here because
Speaker 1: I felt like, you know, of those have a very
Speaker 1: few moments you're like me, feel like everything's come to
Speaker 1: this moment. And there were days where like the struggle
Speaker 1: was real. You know, I was really having panic attacks.
Speaker 1: I really didn't want to go to school. I really
Speaker 1: didn't want to do these things. There was a time
Speaker 1: in which I couldn't leave my house and it was
Speaker 1: just like Wow, to go through all of that, to
Speaker 1: overcome it all and then to be standing here and
Speaker 1: championing for somebody else, like it just makes it feel
Speaker 1: like it wasn't for nothing, you know. Yeah, absolutely, that's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I love that journey because I think
Speaker 1: when you can see it and wherever you are, if
Speaker 1: anyone who's listening or watching right now, wherever you are
Speaker 1: on that journey, that journey of you from school to
Speaker 1: the Capitol is full of tiny little steps. Yes, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, it does not happen overnight. Yeah, It's just
Speaker 1: these tiny little steps, these tiny shifts, these tiny changes,
Speaker 1: and then you get this big moment where you get
Speaker 1: to stand up for something you believe in, which is beautiful.
Speaker 1: One of the other habits that you wrote down, which
Speaker 1: I loved, was God's Spirit connect church on Sunday, And
Speaker 1: I was thinking, is that something that's been a part
Speaker 1: of your life since you were Yeah? I was. I
Speaker 1: was raised. My mom was a very new age growing up,
Speaker 1: and so at the time, like law of attraction and
Speaker 1: all that stuff was like very woo woo, and I
Speaker 1: didn't really tell kids at school that that's really what
Speaker 1: we were doing at home. But now now, of course
Speaker 1: everybody in LA does it, but which I love. But yeah,
Speaker 1: it was like very normal for me. It used to
Speaker 1: go to Agape I don't know, if you know, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and so I grew up there like going to their
Speaker 1: kids room, and so I still watch it now even
Speaker 1: though it's you know, virtual, But yeah, I think my
Speaker 1: meditation practice too, is like a huge part of my
Speaker 1: mental health toolkit. And just sitting and getting quiet and
Speaker 1: connecting and feeling like there's something else, you know, or
Speaker 1: there's meaning to all of this for me is really relieving. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And that's and has that been a habit that you've
Speaker 1: continued even during the pandemic. I guess you're saying virtually. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: how has that been sustained during this time? Because I
Speaker 1: feel like being present with people is such a beautiful
Speaker 1: way for that connection. Yeah it is. It's tough when
Speaker 1: you can't be in the room. But I do virtual.
Speaker 1: I do virtual like meditation classes with unplug and I
Speaker 1: do virtual. I just do virtual everything. Yeah, that's amazing.
Speaker 1: It takes a bit of I was actually saying that
Speaker 1: we I set up with two of my close friends,
Speaker 1: we set up meditation communities together during the pandemic, and
Speaker 1: so meet them and then their friends, their family every
Speaker 1: week on Zoom we meditate together. I guide the meditations,
Speaker 1: and it's just been so beautiful and meaningful because we've
Speaker 1: got all these amazing friendships that have come out of
Speaker 1: yeah Zoom. And I didn't even know half the people
Speaker 1: on there. I didn't know anyone on there actually beyond
Speaker 1: this person. And now a year and a half year later,
Speaker 1: a year and a half later, I literally feel like
Speaker 1: I've got all these new friends. No, it's so weird,
Speaker 1: how like you make these Zoom friendships because we had to, Like,
Speaker 1: I this is nothing like what you were just saying.
Speaker 1: But I was in like a French course over this
Speaker 1: last year, and like these two girls on my French course,
Speaker 1: I just flew out to Boston to meet them in
Speaker 1: real life because I was like, I feel like you're
Speaker 1: my real friends, and people are like, you've never met
Speaker 1: in person. I'm like, but you can't have after, you know,
Speaker 1: a year of zooming with somebody. Yeah. Absolutely, And you
Speaker 1: have to get creative in that way. You have to
Speaker 1: realize that. I found that. What was really fascinating is
Speaker 1: I found that if you do something meaningful in the
Speaker 1: center of a group of people, whether it's virtual or physical,
Speaker 1: you create an amazingly deep bond. Yeah. But if you
Speaker 1: do something meaningless, whether it's physical or virtual, you actually
Speaker 1: don't feel close to those people, right. And so it's
Speaker 1: like the reason you're coming together is actually so much
Speaker 1: more important than even coming together, right. Yeah. And I
Speaker 1: saw that just transform so much in my life in
Speaker 1: the last eighteen months, where relationships came from places I
Speaker 1: didn't expect them to because I didn't realize that even
Speaker 1: if you did something virtually but it was powerful and
Speaker 1: meaningful and purposeful, the quality of that relationship was far
Speaker 1: greater than if you just hung out on a zoom right,
Speaker 1: and so yeah, anyway, I don't know if that's useful.
Speaker 1: I completely agree with you. Yeah, when when do you
Speaker 1: feel you're We're talking about this earlier, and we really
Speaker 1: talked about your mental wellbeing and your jenny with that.
Speaker 1: But you're such a creative, right, whether it's like djang,
Speaker 1: whether it's producing writing. I want to know when do
Speaker 1: you feel most creative? And what do you feel is
Speaker 1: your greatest superpower when it comes to creativity and when
Speaker 1: you access you're like, oh, I felt that. That's tough
Speaker 1: because I feel like my creativity manifests in so many
Speaker 1: different ways. Like you know, I'm an actor and I'm
Speaker 1: a writer as well, and I consider myself a dancer.
Speaker 1: I'm not professional by any means, but I grew up dancing.
Speaker 1: That was like my first performative love. And so I
Speaker 1: feel like my most creative honestly, when I'm alone, Like
Speaker 1: I really get into this. And maybe it's that like
Speaker 1: tortured artist thing that you kind of have to do,
Speaker 1: but really, when I'm alone and I sit and I
Speaker 1: get quiet, and in my meditations, that's where my podcast
Speaker 1: came from. I was sitting in meditation and I like
Speaker 1: opened my eyes. I like I have to do a podcast,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like you kind of just
Speaker 1: hear things. And so I think for me, and I'm
Speaker 1: so lucky that my partner, my boy, and he understands that,
Speaker 1: like for me to be creative, like I have to
Speaker 1: really sink in and before I have auditions or before
Speaker 1: I go, you know, on set, like I have to
Speaker 1: kind of have the day before to really just I
Speaker 1: think it's just really getting connected with yourself. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: I think that's why I need that quiet alan space.
Speaker 1: And so I think eliminating distractions for me is a
Speaker 1: big thing. Yeah, I completely agree with you. I'm the
Speaker 1: same like before something big, whatever that may be for me,
Speaker 1: it's the same. I need to be alone and need
Speaker 1: to be quiet. I need to be in my own thoughts. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my distractions. So I relate to that fully and I
Speaker 1: find that it's important what you just said there is
Speaker 1: a really big lesson, Like with the people that you
Speaker 1: love around you, it's important you explain that to them
Speaker 1: because otherwise they just start to think like they're doing
Speaker 1: something wrong or like they don't understand you, or they've
Speaker 1: made a mistake, and it's so important, Like what you
Speaker 1: just explained that, you know, my boyfriend understands that when
Speaker 1: this is happening, that this is what I need. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think that's such a healthy way of communicating. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm very lucky that my boyfriend is also all right
Speaker 1: or and director. It also needs like his own time,
Speaker 1: so it's like we were a great match. But yeah,
Speaker 1: explaining to him like, hey, it's not you, but like
Speaker 1: like if I have an audition like the night before,
Speaker 1: like you know, I need my time. I have to
Speaker 1: get into the character and like I'll call you right
Speaker 1: when I'm out, you know. Yeah. And I love that
Speaker 1: the name of the podcast is exactly the sentence you
Speaker 1: would say during meditation, Am I doing this? Right? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I mean it's a question. We ask for a lot
Speaker 1: of things, but because you said you've got the idea
Speaker 1: why you were meditating, yeah, I was just like, yes,
Speaker 1: there are many times in meditation where the thought in
Speaker 1: my head is am I doing this? Oh? Yeah? And
Speaker 1: I always tell people when they are afraid to start meditation,
Speaker 1: I'm like, there is no right way to do it.
Speaker 1: It's not I used to think meditation was levitating in
Speaker 1: your living room and like, you know, rising from the ground,
Speaker 1: and I was like, no, if you could just get
Speaker 1: quiet for like two minutes one minute, like and then
Speaker 1: now I'm like, I sit for thirty minutes every day.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I know a lot of people think, yeah,
Speaker 1: am I doing this? Rise? This has supposed to feel
Speaker 1: like am I supposed to have like some profound that
Speaker 1: my epiphany is not normal meditation? Tell me about that
Speaker 1: meditation procys. You said you went from like one to
Speaker 1: two minutes to now thirty minutes a day, Like, what
Speaker 1: does that look like? What do you what are you
Speaker 1: doing for that thirty minutes? What time of day it is,
Speaker 1: and how are you practicing that? Um? I wake up
Speaker 1: first thing in the morning, let my dog out, and
Speaker 1: then that's when I meditate. We get back inside. And
Speaker 1: I mean it started with just sitting for ten minutes
Speaker 1: and just learning how to follow my breath, which is
Speaker 1: great for anybody who's experiencing anxiety because when you can,
Speaker 1: you know, when you can lower your breath, you lower
Speaker 1: your heart rate and a lot of your anxiety symptoms
Speaker 1: go away. So that was like a being very practical
Speaker 1: anxiety relief that helped me. But then I started to
Speaker 1: really love the spiritual side of it, and then it
Speaker 1: grew and now I'm doing I have crystals and their
Speaker 1: sage and it's a whole It's a whole thing's all.
Speaker 1: It's a production. Yeah, it takes a long time. My
Speaker 1: dog sitting there, like really, we have to do all
Speaker 1: of this every time. I love that. That's so important though,
Speaker 1: because that creates so much like a foundation in your
Speaker 1: day and a certainty and like it creates an environment
Speaker 1: that you love walking into and yeah, and it's just
Speaker 1: like the best way for me to get in the
Speaker 1: right headspace to do things like this to you know,
Speaker 1: go out in the world. And I'm an introvert, so
Speaker 1: I have to like charge up before I go out.
Speaker 1: You know, I can relate to that. Let's talk about that,
Speaker 1: because I reckon everyone who's listening to that's going you
Speaker 1: guys are not introverts. You're not an introvert. Yeah, no way, Yeah, definitely,
Speaker 1: Like I have to like self preserve, yeah so much
Speaker 1: to have energy. And if I go to an event,
Speaker 1: if it's my event, it's different, but if it's if
Speaker 1: I'm going to an event, I would just try and
Speaker 1: find one person to have a deep, meaningful conversation. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I won't introduce myself to everyone because not because I'm
Speaker 1: anxious or scared by it, but I just really like
Speaker 1: deep connection, yeah, more than I love you know, wide
Speaker 1: connection and yes, and that idea of just just being
Speaker 1: able to have like lots of small talk throughout the
Speaker 1: night just doesn't fulfill me in the same way. And
Speaker 1: I also, I feel like I spent a lot of
Speaker 1: my life being an extrovert during my teens, but then
Speaker 1: I feel like I became more and more of an
Speaker 1: introvert because I realized the value of being alone, especially
Speaker 1: when it came to making big decisions, especially when it
Speaker 1: came to like sticking to my guns on an idea
Speaker 1: I had and no one agreed with me. And as
Speaker 1: I started to realize that the more time I spent
Speaker 1: with people, the more their voice became louder, and I
Speaker 1: was like, no, no, but I want to follow my heart.
Speaker 1: Like so I feel like with all of that, like,
Speaker 1: my favorite thing to do, without a doubt on a
Speaker 1: weekend is sit with a bunch of books, make notes, read, yeah, listen,
Speaker 1: learn like I do that. If my wife's traveling or
Speaker 1: not with me, I would literally just do that and
Speaker 1: I'll order in Oh, that's my favorite that's my favorite
Speaker 1: thing to do. You too, yoh oh yeah, yeah, same exactly,
Speaker 1: Like I mean, it's I feel like I'm an extroverted
Speaker 1: introvert where I can go out it's all coming out now,
Speaker 1: it's all coming out now. Yeah, it can be on,
Speaker 1: but then I have to go home and I can't
Speaker 1: see people for like three days and I have to
Speaker 1: like completely go inward. And so yeah, it's it's just
Speaker 1: about charging and then like you know, going out and write,
Speaker 1: feeling purposeful when you are out, like having meaning when
Speaker 1: you're out and not just I do I too get drained,
Speaker 1: which just like, hey, how are you doing? What's the one?
Speaker 1: You know? All of that? Yeah, no, absolutely, And that's
Speaker 1: why your podcast is great because you're asking the question
Speaker 1: am I doing this right? And I think that that
Speaker 1: question is such that question is like we ask it
Speaker 1: to ourselves all the time. Like I'll be sitting as
Speaker 1: an interviewer, think am I doing this right? I'm asking
Speaker 1: the right questions, and I do it when I'm an interviewee. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm being interviewed. I'm sitting aging am I doing this right?
Speaker 1: And then it happens when I'm writing my book, it
Speaker 1: happens when it's a question that we ask again and
Speaker 1: again and again. What have you discovered by asking that question,
Speaker 1: by sitting and having these amazing discussions on the podcast,
Speaker 1: What have you learned about that question and understanding what
Speaker 1: is right? Well, it's very simple is that no one
Speaker 1: knows what they're doing and no one thinks they're doing
Speaker 1: it right. And I think that's what's really bonded us
Speaker 1: with our listeners because I think they're like, Okay, finally
Speaker 1: someone else is like admitting that, like, we have no
Speaker 1: idea what we're doing, and we're supposed to pretend like
Speaker 1: we know how to do these things. Ours is like
Speaker 1: our podcast is a life how two podcasts. So we
Speaker 1: go through very confusing things in adulthood that you think
Speaker 1: you're supposed to know but you don't, really, Like, how
Speaker 1: do I file my taxes? What is a four oh one? K?
Speaker 1: I don't know? If? Yeah? All these things that you're
Speaker 1: supposed to know and you don't. You're never taught in school.
Speaker 1: And it's like, Okay, we're gonna stop pretending that we
Speaker 1: have it all figured out, and we're gonna admit at
Speaker 1: least me and my co host, my best friend Natalie,
Speaker 1: are gonna mit, we don't know anything, and we'll figure
Speaker 1: it out for you. Yeah. I love that. I love
Speaker 1: that because even for me, when I moved to the US,
Speaker 1: I had to learn a whole Oh yeah, that's why
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know if you even know
Speaker 1: what a four one? K? Yeah? No do now? Yeah.
Speaker 1: But it's like when I moved to the US. So
Speaker 1: in the UK, I relied on my mom because my
Speaker 1: mom was like a financial advisory moment. Really my's an accountant,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, and my dad's an accountant. So I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: they've got me COVID, they'll figure it out. And then
Speaker 1: I moved here and I was like oh and then
Speaker 1: I was like trying to get help from them, but
Speaker 1: none of them could help me because everything's differ over here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and so yeah, I've had to learn about every aspect
Speaker 1: of it, which it is so complex if you haven't
Speaker 1: learned it at school, I wonder whether you're going to
Speaker 1: do a crypto episode. We did a Crypto Amazing just
Speaker 1: it's literally called a Preschooler's Guide to Crypto. I love
Speaker 1: and like when I tell you, we like our hand
Speaker 1: holding you because it was something that people have been
Speaker 1: talking about the use big words, and me and my
Speaker 1: brost friend are like, we are she's an art major,
Speaker 1: like she, we don't know any of this. We're creative people,
Speaker 1: and so we were like, we'll look it up and
Speaker 1: we'll explain it to you. We also like drink a
Speaker 1: glass of wine every episode, so it's fun and it's
Speaker 1: not like a boring ted talk, you know. We wanted
Speaker 1: to be like you're going to drinks with your girlfriends
Speaker 1: and you're like, hey, like what's crypto? And you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's this. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, and that's awesome,
Speaker 1: and I think that's how we want to learn. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you'll learn more through conversation than we do through like
Speaker 1: whiteboards and whatever it may be. It yeah, and that
Speaker 1: sort of approach. But what's been the most popular episode?
Speaker 1: I mean treatued I always asked that question to someone
Speaker 1: who has a podcast, because I mean treat to hear
Speaker 1: about what people are like, really like wanting to learn
Speaker 1: what's been your most popular conversation that you have? We
Speaker 1: had a we did an episode on morning routines and
Speaker 1: we researched how billionaires start their day, and um, that
Speaker 1: one got a lot of hits. I think we don't
Speaker 1: only do um like a personal finance. We started that way,
Speaker 1: and then we were like, wait, there's a lot of
Speaker 1: other things in adulthood, like we need to figure out,
Speaker 1: which is like morning routines, nighttime routines, you know, going
Speaker 1: We just did an episode on going to therapy and so,
Speaker 1: but that one we got a lot of hits on.
Speaker 1: I think because I don't know, people want to have
Speaker 1: successful mornings, like we said, like we were saying, like me,
Speaker 1: meditating in the morning, like starts my day off for success.
Speaker 1: So very interesting. Yeah, Oprah wakes up at six ten
Speaker 1: am naturally without an alarm clock, which I was like,
Speaker 1: I can never do that. I love that. Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: I've read those. There's there's such incredible ones. Because I
Speaker 1: found that, I think it was like, and I might
Speaker 1: begin this wrong, but I when I looked at that,
Speaker 1: it was like sixty three percent of the most successful
Speaker 1: people in the world get like seven to eight hours
Speaker 1: of sleep. They're actually getting their sleep, contrary to popular belief,
Speaker 1: which is that you have to sleep four hours if
Speaker 1: you want to be successful. No, a lot of them do.
Speaker 1: A lot of them woke up later than I did.
Speaker 1: I think somebody, and I don't want to say it
Speaker 1: was elon us, it was someone like woke up at
Speaker 1: ten or something. I was like, wow, like they're really
Speaker 1: getting a lot of sleep. Yeah, You're like I should
Speaker 1: just like up at ten like this? Yeah, why am
Speaker 1: I waking up early for? Yeah? No, it's I think
Speaker 1: these things are so important to study. And I was
Speaker 1: saying this to someone earlier today that so a lot
Speaker 1: of people today we struggle because we're like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: we don't want to be compared to this ideal, or
Speaker 1: like why are we looking at what others are doing?
Speaker 1: But the truth is that you have two options when
Speaker 1: you're looking at success. You either look at success with
Speaker 1: envy or you look at success with study. But we
Speaker 1: both have to look at it. So some people are
Speaker 1: looking at everyone going oh I wish I had that,
Speaker 1: or oh god, why they've you know, trying to be
Speaker 1: perfect or whatever. All we can look at it and say, well,
Speaker 1: what can I learn from that? Yeah? How do I
Speaker 1: apply that to my life? And I feel like studying health, healthy, wealthy,
Speaker 1: and wise individuals is a great way to live because
Speaker 1: it helps you figure out what parts of it you
Speaker 1: want to apply to your life. Yeah, no, one hundred percent,
Speaker 1: and like, like I said, like I'm not going to
Speaker 1: naturally wake up at six am. It's just I'm going
Speaker 1: to need an alarm clock. But it is. It's one.
Speaker 1: It's interesting and too. I mean, I think you can
Speaker 1: start to like find little things that you can apply
Speaker 1: here and there. And the rest of the episode goes
Speaker 1: into just like healthy morning habits. We we only use
Speaker 1: like dot govs, dot org so that we don't just
Speaker 1: like pull from, you know, a random article, but we
Speaker 1: find things that have, you know, real science behind it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what's been a habit or a principle or a way
Speaker 1: someone lives or even a financial thing that surprised you?
Speaker 1: Are you like that's so cool? Like I didn't know that.
Speaker 1: Is there anything that stood out like that? I'll share
Speaker 1: one while you're thinking. For me. It was we had
Speaker 1: Russ on the podcast and I was obviously asking him
Speaker 1: questions about creativity and music, and he was saying that
Speaker 1: his favorite thing to do and we'll both align with this.
Speaker 1: He was saying his favorite thing to do is get
Speaker 1: all of his friends out of the studio, not invite
Speaker 1: anyone over, go into the basement or go into the
Speaker 1: studio and make weird sounds that he would only make
Speaker 1: if he was on his own, that is, And so
Speaker 1: he literally like yells into the microphone. He makes a
Speaker 1: weird sound, he skims, and he goes, if I had
Speaker 1: my friends in there, would feel so judged. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't do that. So he goes, for me, the best
Speaker 1: creativity is being alone and just making weird noises, and
Speaker 1: then I'll discover something like, oh, I want to find
Speaker 1: an instrument like that. Yeah, like like, yeah, no, that's
Speaker 1: that's really really interesting. No, I mean I haven't had
Speaker 1: anything like that on our podcast yet. Um, I'm trying
Speaker 1: to think. I mean, like this was not as cool
Speaker 1: at all, So I don't want to say I'm just good. No,
Speaker 1: we were. We were really surprised. We were looking up also,
Speaker 1: like in this Morning Routines episode, like what a lot
Speaker 1: of people eat in the morning, and you know, you've
Speaker 1: been like sold that you need to have like bacon
Speaker 1: and eggs. Most people have oatmeal, And I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't like oatmeal, but maybe I should try eating
Speaker 1: oatmeal because most billionaires eat oatmeal. Do you know why
Speaker 1: that makes me rerappy? I've been eating oatmeal my whole life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I recently switched to cheer pudding because I found out
Speaker 1: that I have a slight allergy to oats. Oh you do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I switched to cheer pudding, which is actually much nicer.
Speaker 1: So okay, well you're already on your way. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're already cheer putting blueberries strawberries. That's your that's your
Speaker 1: Morning's such great, Okay that I need to be on that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And like you said, it's all personally, you know, Like
Speaker 1: I ever, I did a micronutrient test recently, which is
Speaker 1: what helped me realize them. Yeah, I have a slight
Speaker 1: allergy to oats, but also like oats was leaving me
Speaker 1: feeling bloated or uncomfortable, whatever it may be, whereas cheer
Speaker 1: seed pudding has been amazing for me. So yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess we're going to redefine what billionaires eat in
Speaker 1: the morning exactly. Doesn't have to be oatmeal, it doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be and like everyone makes and that's the
Speaker 1: whole thing, like my tool kit and like that's like
Speaker 1: it's a choose your own adventure thing. But I think
Speaker 1: when you have the knowledge of what to do, that
Speaker 1: empowers you to make the most conscious decision for yourself. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: what are you most excited about what you're creating right now? Like,
Speaker 1: what's a role that you're playing that you've just deeply
Speaker 1: dived into and you're just feeling it, or even if
Speaker 1: there's something coming up that you're just like, this is
Speaker 1: challenging me in a way that I know I'm growing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure right the time this comes out, this
Speaker 1: will be news. I just sold my first TV show, Congratulation. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: two weeks ago, and so that has been such a
Speaker 1: journey for me. I've been working on the show for
Speaker 1: like five plus years. I wrote it, I created it.
Speaker 1: Are you in it too? I'm in it as well?
Speaker 1: And so I just sold it. And so I think
Speaker 1: for me, this is like this new challenge for me.
Speaker 1: I've eped a show before, the one on Netflix, stat
Speaker 1: stop embarrassing me. But I've never been the creator and
Speaker 1: the writer and the ep and the actors. So I
Speaker 1: mean it's going to be this whole new ball game
Speaker 1: for me. Um. And so yeah, I'm really excited to
Speaker 1: go down the path. I'm terrified, but again to circle
Speaker 1: back to the beginning, like I feel like I can
Speaker 1: do it. Yeah, absolutely, of course you can and congratulate.
Speaker 1: Thank you you share that with us, and I love
Speaker 1: that because it's such you're taking on just so much.
Speaker 1: I mean, to write, create, direct, and be in it.
Speaker 1: Which part of it do you enjoy the most? Or
Speaker 1: is it is that a bad question? They stretch different muscles.
Speaker 1: You tell me about what they stretch, because I yeah,
Speaker 1: I get that, Like what what does each part of
Speaker 1: it do for you personally? I again, I'm a very
Speaker 1: type A type person, so I need the like rawness.
Speaker 1: And then then the role in the in the show
Speaker 1: for myself is, um, she has this beautiful journey and
Speaker 1: this beautiful evolution of self and discovery and so like
Speaker 1: to be able to be in her shoes, I'm so
Speaker 1: excited to do. But then also like from my producer side,
Speaker 1: like my type A side, like I can't wait to
Speaker 1: get everything in line and like get our cast set
Speaker 1: and like I like checking boxes and so like that's
Speaker 1: gonna give me, um, that's gonna like feed that side
Speaker 1: of myself. So it's like this perfect balance of like
Speaker 1: my creativities just being stretched in both ways. Life coach
Speaker 1: and therapist is really what it is there, you go,
Speaker 1: I love it what do you think the most scariest
Speaker 1: thing you've ever taken on and the most like challenging
Speaker 1: thing you've ever taken on? Is this going to be it?
Speaker 1: Or what's up to now? What's been that thing? Personal?
Speaker 1: There's been a there's been a few, but I would
Speaker 1: say professional. Um. I did a live special on ABC
Speaker 1: of Good Times. It was a live performance. We were
Speaker 1: doing a one night only thing with Jimmy Kimmel was
Speaker 1: hosting it. Viola Davis was playing my mother. I was
Speaker 1: playing like an iconic character, Thomba Evans, and it was terrifying. Also,
Speaker 1: Tiffany Hatch was in the cast, and it was an
Speaker 1: incredible cast. And then like imposter syndrome me and I'm like,
Speaker 1: what am I doing here? Can I I've never done
Speaker 1: a play before and essentially this is what this is
Speaker 1: and it's live for a million people. So it was
Speaker 1: absolutely terrifying. But the way I coped with that fear
Speaker 1: was to come in so prepared that nothing could shake me.
Speaker 1: I knew this performance frontwards backwards. I did it every day,
Speaker 1: ten times a day. My boyfriend was like going to
Speaker 1: go crazy because I was just saying my lines, saying
Speaker 1: my lines, But it worked out because you get there
Speaker 1: and you're nervous and you're like, at least I know
Speaker 1: my lines totally. I remember that. Except the funny thing
Speaker 1: for me is, and I'm sure you've experienced this whenever
Speaker 1: you turned out with all that prep and known your lines,
Speaker 1: they always change your lines on the day. Luckily, we
Speaker 1: were going from original episode, so we could not we
Speaker 1: weren't going to go from a script, but that does
Speaker 1: always happen. Yeah, No, I love that, Yeah, because I
Speaker 1: always get there. I'm like, but having said all of that,
Speaker 1: what you just said is spot on that when you've
Speaker 1: done that prep, you actually feel that you can adapt
Speaker 1: to whatever's thrown at you, right, And that's what I've
Speaker 1: learned with being an actor, And it's like, when you
Speaker 1: really know your script, that's when you can play. But
Speaker 1: when you're sitting there remembering your lines, you're not present,
Speaker 1: you're not in the scene. And so like, I applied
Speaker 1: that there, which wasn't an acting thing, and I was
Speaker 1: just like, the more I know my lines are more fun.
Speaker 1: I'm going to have doing this because this is the
Speaker 1: scariest thing I've ever done. Yeah, I love that. I
Speaker 1: love that, all right, I Karen, I could Karen talking
Speaker 1: to you for fun for hours and hours and hours.
Speaker 1: But we end every episode of On Purpose with the
Speaker 1: final five. Okay, so these are the fast five. Questions
Speaker 1: have to be one word to one sentence maximum, okay,
Speaker 1: So it can be whatever sentences. I don't know, having words,
Speaker 1: nine words, I don't know. Whatever is okay. So the
Speaker 1: first question is what is the best advice you've ever received?
Speaker 1: Always save a little love for yourself. Oh I love that.
Speaker 1: That's such I've never heard that before. That's beautiful. What's
Speaker 1: the worst advice you've ever received? Um? That wearing uggs
Speaker 1: was a good idea, because I have a lot of
Speaker 1: horrible red carpet moments when when I was ten years
Speaker 1: old and I look back and I'm like, why would
Speaker 1: I wear ugs on a red carpet? Can? You didn't
Speaker 1: choose those? Did you? Or you did? I probably did,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I love that. All right. We'll get
Speaker 1: you excited and gets you excited when you're waking up
Speaker 1: out of bed every morning. My sisters tell us more,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna, okay, explain, gonna have to. I'm intrigued the head.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah. My sisters are thirteen and fourteen, and I
Speaker 1: look forward to hearing about their days every day because
Speaker 1: they're at this pivotal age that really the age I
Speaker 1: was doing this with anxiety, and to see them growing
Speaker 1: and changing every day, it makes me so excited. And
Speaker 1: also I'm just so hopeful with all of gen Z.
Speaker 1: They're incredible, Like you guys have it way more put
Speaker 1: together than we do. I love that question number four,
Speaker 1: what is your current purpose? So how would you define
Speaker 1: your carrent purpose being a voice for those that feel silenced?
Speaker 1: I love that fifth question. If you can, and this
Speaker 1: can be gone longer, if you could meet your younger
Speaker 1: self again today, your fourteen year old self, what would
Speaker 1: you tell it. It's funny because I answered this question today,
Speaker 1: but I would tell her it gets better. I was
Speaker 1: also bullied in high school, and there was a time
Speaker 1: in which you feel like it's the end of the world.
Speaker 1: And I wish I could go back to that girl
Speaker 1: and be like, it doesn't only get better, it gets
Speaker 1: spectacular and it keeps going and you're only going to
Speaker 1: go up from here. And I think when you're that age,
Speaker 1: you just everything feels like the end of the world
Speaker 1: and it doesn't. It isn't, And yeah, it hasn't been.
Speaker 1: That's beautiful, Karen. Thank you so much for being so vulnerable,
Speaker 1: so open, so generous with your time and also your energy,
Speaker 1: and just I think everyone's gonna listen to this. It's
Speaker 1: gonna have a great time. I think there's moments where
Speaker 1: we're laughing, there's moments where people having really profound moments.
Speaker 1: And I love just how what I really admire about
Speaker 1: you is just how focused you are on your well
Speaker 1: being and yourself. And I find that that's such a
Speaker 1: brilliant foundation for all the success you're creating from it,
Speaker 1: because often you find that people are doing a lot
Speaker 1: of successful things, they're making things happen, but their personal
Speaker 1: health and wellness is kind of all over the place.
Speaker 1: And so I really appreciate that, and I think you're
Speaker 1: setting a wonderful example of how that's the foundation of
Speaker 1: everything that's to come. Oh, thank you so much, Thank
Speaker 1: you so much, with such an honor. Seriously, I can't
Speaker 1: believe I was on your podcast again, Oprah was on
Speaker 1: your podcast? How am I on your podcast? No, you
Speaker 1: were here because you are showing all generations to come
Speaker 1: just how to figure out our life step by step.
Speaker 1: Keep that love for ourselves, remove that self judgment, beat
Speaker 1: that impast syndrome. I mean, this is exactly what we
Speaker 1: all need to hear. If you've been listening or watching
Speaker 1: at home, I want to make sure that you tag
Speaker 1: me and Karin on Instagram, on Twitter, on any platform
Speaker 1: you're listening on, and let us know what were the takeaways,
Speaker 1: What the nuggets of wisdom that Karn said that you're
Speaker 1: going to repeat. Maybe you're gonna say it to yourself,
Speaker 1: maybe you're gonna say it to your kids, maybe you're
Speaker 1: gonna say it to your parents. Whoever you're gonna say
Speaker 1: it to, Please do tag both of us because I
Speaker 1: love seeing what you're learning and what you're taking away Karren.
Speaker 1: Any final words or anything you want to share. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I know again this has been such an honor,
Speaker 1: and I mean I am such a huge fan of
Speaker 1: you and your wife. I said that when I first
Speaker 1: walked out here, I was like, where's your wife? And
Speaker 1: so no, it's it's been so great talking to you.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Thank you