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Speaker 1: Disgraceland is a production of double Elvis Lou Reed his

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Speaker 1: band The Velvet Underground. The wide cast of Larger than

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Speaker 1: Life slash lowlife New York City characters that he wrote

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Speaker 1: about are so compelling that two episodes were needed to

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Speaker 1: properly tell this tall tale. If you're just getting hip

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Speaker 1: to this now, I suggest you hip pause and go

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Speaker 1: back to the previous episode or Disgraceland, part one of

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Speaker 1: the Lou Reed origin story, where we discuss the criminality

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Speaker 1: depicted in the Velvet Underground songs, the Gift Waiting for

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Speaker 1: my Man heroin in the Murder Mystery. Lou's story continues

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Speaker 1: in this episode through the VU songs rock and Roll,

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Speaker 1: Sweet Jane, Run, Run Run, Venus and Furs and I'll

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Speaker 1: Be Your Mirror all great music, unlike that music I

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Speaker 1: played for you at the top of the show. That

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Speaker 1: wasn't great music. That was a preset loop for my

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Speaker 1: melotron called Sweet and Sour Dreams MK. Two. I played

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Speaker 1: you that loop because I can't afford the rights to

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Speaker 1: make it with you by bread And why would I

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Speaker 1: play you that specific slice of limp wristed stoker cheese?

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Speaker 1: Could I afford it? Because that was the number one

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Speaker 1: song in America on August twenty third, nineteen seventy, and

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Speaker 1: that was the day Lou Reed played his last show

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Speaker 1: with the Velvet Underground, bringing to an end the origin

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Speaker 1: story of one of the most compelling and coolest figures

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Speaker 1: in rock and real history. On this episode, Amphetamine Addiction,

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Speaker 1: lone shark, assassins, switchblade types, chains, whips, mirrored lips, and

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Speaker 1: Lou Reed goes home. I'm Jake Brennan and this is disgrace.

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Speaker 1: Had the twenty six dollars in my hand made no sense?

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Speaker 1: Neither did Stephanie's murder made about as much sense as

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Speaker 1: stuffing Waldo Jeffers in a box and mailing him halfway

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Speaker 1: across the country to his death. Maybe lou wasn't as

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Speaker 1: innocent as I thought. That whole thing made less sense

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Speaker 1: with every passing minute. My headache. Though that made sense.

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Speaker 1: It screamed for speed. I had an idea. The little

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Speaker 1: blonde down the from my apartment. She kept herself high

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Speaker 1: all the time. She'd have something to help me get

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Speaker 1: my head right. I booked it down Saint Mark's toward Ludlow,

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Speaker 1: and the morning sun was already mid afternoon, hot and

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Speaker 1: it pierced to my skull. I stopped at a spraying

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Speaker 1: fire hydrant and rinsed Stephanie's blood off my face and hands.

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Speaker 1: I must have made a sight, because I scared off

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Speaker 1: every last little neighborhood runt cooling under the spray of

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Speaker 1: the hydrant. I moved with quickness to my apartment building.

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Speaker 1: I turned onto Ludlow, and there he was, exiting a luncheonette,

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Speaker 1: opening a fresh pack of luckies. I always liked to

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Speaker 1: see Big Bill, even if it meant confronting the reality

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Speaker 1: of my unpayable debt to him, but not this morning.

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Speaker 1: Big Bill held a certain type of power over me,

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Speaker 1: but again, not this morning. I came up on him

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Speaker 1: fast on the sidewalk. He was surprised to see me

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Speaker 1: up in about so early, I could tell, and before

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Speaker 1: he could put his version of the squeeze on me,

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Speaker 1: before he could lean into the fact that his daughter

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Speaker 1: was about to be sent up the river for a

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Speaker 1: horrific crime, before he could check in on my progress,

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Speaker 1: and I could put him off with vague generalizations about

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Speaker 1: the state of my investigation, you know, give him enough

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Speaker 1: to feel confident, but not so much that he could

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Speaker 1: jeopardize my progress. Before I could do any of that,

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Speaker 1: I simply threw up my hands as I raised by him,

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Speaker 1: and gave him a quick not this morning, Bill, not

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Speaker 1: this fucking morning. Big Bill just stood there, dumbfounded. I'm

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Speaker 1: not sure what he made of his morning after that,

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Speaker 1: because I never got a chance to ask him. Fifty

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Speaker 1: eight Ludlow one block away there on the stute, another friend,

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Speaker 1: Dough beardless Harry. All debts were apparently coming due this morning,

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Speaker 1: but just like Big Bill Bronson, beardless Harry would have

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Speaker 1: to wait. My headache had other plans. Harry leaned tough

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Speaker 1: against the iron railing on the steps of my apartment stoop,

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Speaker 1: and before he could stutter out another threat, before he

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Speaker 1: ever laid eyes on me, I walked him with a

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Speaker 1: right packed with the entirety of the morning's momentum I'd

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Speaker 1: been carrying since Saint Mark's. Harry never saw it coming,

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Speaker 1: and he went down at a heat. Sorry, Harry. I

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Speaker 1: bounded up the front steps, keyed the lock on the

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Speaker 1: front door, took to the walk up. I could hear

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Speaker 1: the rock and roll music coming from her apartment grow

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Speaker 1: louder and louder with every step. What was her name?

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Speaker 1: Janie Jenny, whatever it was she'd beholding, and she'd set

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Speaker 1: me straight. I followed the blare of the music up

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Speaker 1: the steps to her apartment door, ran down the corridor

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Speaker 1: to my apartment, stripped off my blood stained clothes, replaced

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Speaker 1: them with new slacks, a new wrinkled shirt from the

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Speaker 1: bottom of a dirty clothes pile, and a black blazer

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Speaker 1: identical to the blood stained one I just discarded. I

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Speaker 1: took a two second tenement shower and get the blood

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Speaker 1: off my face in my hands, and then I marched

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Speaker 1: out of my apartment with a purpose, toward the apartment

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Speaker 1: door with the blaring music behind it at the end

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Speaker 1: of my hall. I banged on it loudly. She swung

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Speaker 1: the door open instantly, like she was expecting me. She

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Speaker 1: stood there in nothing but a T shirt and panties.

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Speaker 1: Her hair was more sandy brown than the blonde I remembered.

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Speaker 1: Her countless freckles made her more West Coast than New York,

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Speaker 1: New York. She was petite fit. For a hot second,

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Speaker 1: my one track mind was distracted by her beauty. Then

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Speaker 1: she opened her mouth. She screamed non sequitor nonsense over

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Speaker 1: the blaring radios, rock and roll station when I was

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Speaker 1: just five years old. There was nothing happening at all.

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Speaker 1: I screamed back, my name is Ace. I lived down

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Speaker 1: the hall. May I come in. She turned and danced

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Speaker 1: her way back into her apartment, leaving the door open,

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Speaker 1: with me in the doorway behind her. I followed shut

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Speaker 1: the door. The music was that ear drum shattering volume,

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Speaker 1: more hypno junkie jungle rhythm with her moving in time. Though,

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Speaker 1: I began to think that a guy could get used

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Speaker 1: to this. I know you, she yelled at me while

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Speaker 1: she danced. You're my neighbor who reminds me of my daddy.

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Speaker 1: I yelled back, I'm sure he's very proud. I meant

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Speaker 1: it as a compliment, but it sounded smartass. She couldn't

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Speaker 1: hear me over the radio, but pretended to and smiled

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Speaker 1: and nodded, and then she.

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Speaker 2: Yelled, he's got two Cadillac cars. I volleyed back with

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Speaker 2: you must be very proud. That was intentionally cute. I

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Speaker 2: was getting bored and amusing myself as a defense mechanism

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Speaker 2: against my jones. Again, she pretended to hear me and smiled.

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Speaker 2: She danced toward me and offered me the lit reefer.

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Speaker 1: In her hand. I made a habit of never touching

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Speaker 1: this stuff, but something told me to take it. I did.

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Speaker 1: I inhaled, and then I exhaled, and the smoke mixed

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Speaker 1: with the music in the air, and it was all right.

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Speaker 1: I passed the reefer back. She hid it instep. She

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Speaker 1: passed it back. I did the same. She took it again.

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Speaker 1: Then she took my hands and pulled me into motion

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Speaker 1: on her dirty monoleum floor. I dropped my head, closed

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Speaker 1: my eyes and moved with her to the beat. It

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Speaker 1: was as if there was an invisible wire connecting us.

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Speaker 1: We danced fast, We danced hard. I could feel her heat.

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Speaker 1: I began to sweat. I opened my eyes and kept

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Speaker 1: them pitched the floor. Her bare feet moved effortlessly that

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Speaker 1: they were black with filth. It charged me and we

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Speaker 1: moved some more, dancing, and the reefer even me out,

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Speaker 1: But that Jones brought a twitch to my cheek. I

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Speaker 1: moved some more. We both did, shaking to the fine,

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Speaker 1: fine music that New York radio station went from doper

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Speaker 1: boogie to torch song. She couldn't believe what she heard

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Speaker 1: at all. She pulled me close. We two stepped slow

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Speaker 1: as one. Her cheek on my chest. Jenny, she said,

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Speaker 1: I know, I said, Ace. She misheard me. A what

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Speaker 1: why are you here? I need something, I said. She

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Speaker 1: took her head off my chest and looked up at me.

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Speaker 1: What's that? She asked you? I said. She kissed me

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Speaker 1: full on the lips and took me to bed. It

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Speaker 1: must have been days later when I woke up, truly

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Speaker 1: woke up. Jenny took me to bed that morning. A

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Speaker 1: woman like that happens to you once in a lifetime,

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Speaker 1: if you're lucky. At first, sex, then speed. We finished

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Speaker 1: the little she had. It was enough to kill the jones,

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Speaker 1: but not enough to keep us high. We rode out

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Speaker 1: the withdrawals together on more sex and black coffee for

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Speaker 1: days on end. Without the two, I wouldn't have had

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Speaker 1: the strength their patience to overcome the need for more speed. Now,

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Speaker 1: lying in her apartment with a clear head, that seemed

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Speaker 1: to be all I had strength and patience and luck.

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Speaker 1: I guess I know what you're saying. How does a

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Speaker 1: lump like me go from being broken one moment between

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Speaker 1: the sheets for the top giving sexy twenty something the next.

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Speaker 1: I don't have an answer for your pluto. All I

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Speaker 1: know is. It happened, and it happened just in time.

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Speaker 1: With a clear head came a drive for answers and

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Speaker 1: an itch to get back out on the street and

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Speaker 1: get things sorted. Stephanie was dead. Why what was with

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Speaker 1: the twenty six dollars? And who would have killed her?

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Speaker 1: Where the fuck was the loo? And what if anything

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Speaker 1: did he have to do with her death or with

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Speaker 1: Waldo Jeffers's stupid stunt. Yeah, I was beginning to believe

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Speaker 1: my own bullshit. I knew now that Lou had the means,

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Speaker 1: but I still had no connection. And even though I didn't,

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Speaker 1: I didn't care. Lou was dirtier than I thought. He

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Speaker 1: was into some dark shit rough trade. I needed him

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Speaker 1: because Big Bill needed a pincushion for Marsha's murder rap,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't feel one bit bad about it. It

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Speaker 1: wasn't about the favor I owed Bill. It wasn't about

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Speaker 1: the money I needed to earn back to pay Nunzio,

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Speaker 1: which I couldn't begin to do until I sorted Big

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Speaker 1: Bill out. In clarity, I was beginning to see the

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Speaker 1: It was about what was right. Lou was wrong, all wrong.

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Speaker 1: He was on a one way bus to Rikers, either

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Speaker 1: for this or for some other lowdown, subterranean activity. He

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Speaker 1: clearly took pleasure in our paths happened to cross, and

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Speaker 1: that was his problem. What did I care? I had

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Speaker 1: my own like where to find the little long Island Pissan.

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Speaker 1: That night would be my last with Jenny. We both

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Speaker 1: knew it. Maybe that's why we came clean. I told

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Speaker 1: her the safe version of my Sinchon experience. I had

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Speaker 1: a fire in my m one in Korea. Whoo fucking who.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't go deeper. It wouldn't do any of us

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Speaker 1: any good. She knew I was lying by omission, but

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Speaker 1: that I was also sharing more than I had with

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Speaker 1: anyone in years. It was my version of honesty, the

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Speaker 1: best I could do. She knew it, and so she

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Speaker 1: pushed her chips into the middle of the table too,

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Speaker 1: and told me her real name wasn't Jenny, it was Jane,

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Speaker 1: and that she was married to a man named Jack

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Speaker 1: and Jane she is a clerk. They separated six months ago,

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Speaker 1: but now Jane was ready to go back out on

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Speaker 1: the island. This Manhattan regression was her last chance at

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Speaker 1: a life she could call her own. She thought she'd

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Speaker 1: find it with the protest kids, perhaps with the poets

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Speaker 1: who studied rules of Verse, some kind of bohemian blush.

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Speaker 1: She didn't. The evil mothers told her life was just

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Speaker 1: to die. The children were the only ones who blushed,

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Speaker 1: and that it was time to go home, to sit

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Speaker 1: by the fire. Yeah, to grow up. So that's what

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Speaker 1: Jane was gonna do, Poor sweet Jane. I needed one

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Speaker 1: last favor, the record in the stack, the one with

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Speaker 1: the profane banana on the cover, the one with the

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Speaker 1: photo of Lou and his bandmates on the back, drowning

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Speaker 1: in psychotic light. I needed to know everything she knew

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Speaker 1: about those protest kids. She knew a lot. First of all,

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Speaker 1: they weren't protest kids. She said, they were deviants near nihilis.

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Speaker 1: They were depraved and being tricked out by an art

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Speaker 1: world charlatan named Andy, the shore Leaf Boy toy I'd

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Speaker 1: seen and gullying the performance I was used at. Wasn't

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Speaker 1: it obvious? She asked me? Obvious? How in the hell

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Speaker 1: was any of this obvious to anyone, let alone me.

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Speaker 1: Downtown was at my side of the street. I worked

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Speaker 1: out her borrow insurance scams and divorce settlements. Bobo speed

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Speaker 1: freaks with murderous tendencies. Weren't my back or anyone's, I imagined,

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Speaker 1: Jane smiled. He hangs out in two places, she said,

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Speaker 1: the factory at night and the diner after hours. I

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Speaker 1: knew one of the places, and it was no longer night.

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Speaker 1: I grabbed my coat and banged the pavement the diner door,

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Speaker 1: dinged in. All three patrons at that early hour threw

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Speaker 1: tired glances at me, but one loop back on his stool,

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Speaker 1: sludge in his cup, cigarette in his hand. This time,

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Speaker 1: I abandoned the subterfuge, walked straight up to him from behind,

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Speaker 1: braced him. I put one hand under his armpit and

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00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,400
Speaker 1: quickly hoisted him off his stool and into motion, with

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Speaker 1: me tracking him across the diner floor and into a

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Speaker 1: booth opposite me. He quickly protested with that hey man

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Speaker 1: beat nick wine. I smacked him open palm across the

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Speaker 1: mouth another fucking word before I say so when the

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00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:13,400
Speaker 1: next one comes with a brass kiss, Lou shifted uncomfortably,

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Speaker 1: but stayed seated. I shot a glance to the nighthawks

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00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,840
Speaker 1: that said, a word out of any of you motherfuckers,

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Speaker 1: and you'll have trouble. You've never known. Everyone went back

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Speaker 1: to their coffee, choosing the troubles they did know. Smart choice, Stephanie,

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00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,360
Speaker 1: why'd you do it? Lou just stared at me. He

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00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:34,520
Speaker 1: looked confused. My friend, the pregnant girl I brought to

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Speaker 1: the loft. Lou registered recognition, but not guilt. Understandable. News

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00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:41,800
Speaker 1: of her death was out on the street and in

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Speaker 1: all the papers. You think I killed her? Lou left.

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00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,560
Speaker 1: He was cool, but not in the plane in the

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Speaker 1: park kind of way. I asked him, Well, who then,

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00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:54,200
Speaker 1: how would I know? What is this anyway? What kind

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00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,800
Speaker 1: of cop are you? Anyhow? I settled into my seat,

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00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:02,120
Speaker 1: lit a smoke. What's with you? Read? He just looked

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00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:05,560
Speaker 1: at me. I told him that I'm gonna bust your ass.

250
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:10,480
Speaker 1: Yaf kiggled at me. Oh, I bet you are, cowboy.

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00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,200
Speaker 1: You thought he was cute. I could relate. I had

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00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:18,120
Speaker 1: that same attitude once, minus the merry jive. I just

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00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,520
Speaker 1: stared at him across the table. He smiled and leaned

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00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:25,000
Speaker 1: in as if to tell me a secret. Hey, I

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00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:28,160
Speaker 1: know this bar down on the west side, Ernie's. They

256
00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:30,960
Speaker 1: keep a jar of vasiline on the bar, and there's

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00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:34,080
Speaker 1: a back room that's dark where we could play. But

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Speaker 1: if I'm not your tight those other vacilline voice, I

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00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:41,520
Speaker 1: hauled off across the table and wallved him again, close fists.

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00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:45,840
Speaker 1: This time he stood quick, Hey man, I stood too

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Speaker 1: and grabbed him by the throat before he could get

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00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:49,920
Speaker 1: fully out of the booth. With one arm, I lifted

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Speaker 1: him and slammed him back first onto the table. I

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00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,680
Speaker 1: leaned in on top of him and spit my words

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00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:56,800
Speaker 1: out an inch from his face in a furied whisper.

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Speaker 1: Listen to me, you little fuck, you and me. We're

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Speaker 1: going for a little trip out on the island. His

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00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:06,400
Speaker 1: eyes widened. Long island was the last place Lou reed

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00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,880
Speaker 1: wanted to be. We're gonna sit down with a friend

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00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,280
Speaker 1: of mine, a friend whose daughter you know, A friend

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Speaker 1: whose daughter's boyfriend you knew. Even better, We're gonna get

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Speaker 1: to the bottom of some things. Lou spit in my face.

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00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,680
Speaker 1: I slammed his head back into the table. He smiled.

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Speaker 1: I pressed the weight to my body down on his

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Speaker 1: on top of the table, and I felt him get

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00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:30,440
Speaker 1: hard down there, the depraved little fuck You're enjoying this

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00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,240
Speaker 1: as much as I am, he taunted. I felt my

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00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:36,080
Speaker 1: head swell with anger. I lifted his head again by

279
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,320
Speaker 1: his throat and slammed it once more into the table.

280
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:41,720
Speaker 1: Loo's eyes rolled, but he kept his smile. So I

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00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,720
Speaker 1: slammed his head harder, and then he grew harder. My

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00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:47,880
Speaker 1: head pulsed with rage. I slammed him down once more.

283
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:52,960
Speaker 1: I was gonna kill the little bastard the mess. From

284
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,400
Speaker 1: the sound, I knew in an instant what was happening.

285
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:59,000
Speaker 1: Then I felt it. The cold steel of the switchblade

286
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,720
Speaker 1: pressed across the front my neck. The owner of the

287
00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:03,680
Speaker 1: switch pulled my head back by my hair and was

288
00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:06,760
Speaker 1: ready to slice my head clean off. He growled something

289
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,800
Speaker 1: in Spanish that I didn't understand, but I was fluent

290
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,639
Speaker 1: enough in the universal language of a ship to the throat,

291
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,920
Speaker 1: so I backed off and let Louke go. The man

292
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,919
Speaker 1: yanked my head back, spun me around, and threw me

293
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,040
Speaker 1: into a table in a set of chairs, which exploded

294
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:23,000
Speaker 1: across the dining room floor upon impact. I looked up

295
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,840
Speaker 1: from the floor. It was Jesus, the switchblade type bus boy.

296
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:29,680
Speaker 1: He'd picked Lou up off the table and dusted him off.

297
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,320
Speaker 1: I lay on my back, staring up at them both.

298
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:35,439
Speaker 1: I started to pick myself up and Jesus gave me

299
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:38,440
Speaker 1: his pr boot right in the ribs. He knocked me back,

300
00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:41,679
Speaker 1: but not out. The two split quickly out the diner door.

301
00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:49,800
Speaker 1: I crawled to my feet and gave Chase, we'll be

302
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:59,120
Speaker 1: right back after this were where worre. I split through

303
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:02,040
Speaker 1: the diner door, down the short three steps to the sidewalk,

304
00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:05,240
Speaker 1: began my sprint after Loo and Jesus, and somehow, without

305
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:09,080
Speaker 1: seeing him, ran straight into beard Miss Harry's meat and fist.

306
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:14,720
Speaker 1: When I woke up, I was tied to a chair

307
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:17,199
Speaker 1: and a crowded, dingy basement with a low ceiling with

308
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:20,399
Speaker 1: exposed pipes and a dirt floor. There were stacks and

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00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:23,520
Speaker 1: stacks of boxed and canned Italian specialty foods and a

310
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:28,199
Speaker 1: heavy aroma of garlic, onions and sweet peppers. My stomach roiled.

311
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,280
Speaker 1: I hadn't eaten in days, but I had bigger problems.

312
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,240
Speaker 1: I was reminded of those problems, too sweet, with a

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00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,560
Speaker 1: quick open handed smack across the mouth from one of

314
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:41,280
Speaker 1: Beardless Harry's goons. My eyes stung, my body ached. I

315
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:44,240
Speaker 1: shook my head and gave Harry an unintentionally vacant look.

316
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,040
Speaker 1: His goon geared up to crack me again, and this

317
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,320
Speaker 1: time with a closed fist. Harry stopped him short at

318
00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:55,119
Speaker 1: what I mistook for mercy ace, you stupid schmuck, and

319
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:58,119
Speaker 1: then Harry cracked me across the grill. The taste of

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00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:01,000
Speaker 1: blood quickly filled my mouth. He gave me the drill

321
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:06,440
Speaker 1: and stuttered sentences, no vig, no call, no nothing. Nunzio

322
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:09,920
Speaker 1: wants his money. You ain't got any. You are beyond late.

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00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:14,359
Speaker 1: You are fucking walking, talking insult to human faith. I

324
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,919
Speaker 1: tried to speak. Harry gave me a quick fist to

325
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:20,879
Speaker 1: the face. It did not stutter. It said shut the

326
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:24,320
Speaker 1: fuck up I did. He went on, I know he

327
00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:27,160
Speaker 1: ain't get no money because we searched you and tossed

328
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:30,520
Speaker 1: that shipthold fourth four, walk up, you call home. I

329
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:34,080
Speaker 1: just stared at him. So what's it gonna be? He

330
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:37,399
Speaker 1: said cleanly. I'm working on something. I just need a

331
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:41,080
Speaker 1: little more time. Harry stutter came back strong with his

332
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:44,080
Speaker 1: next sentence, Does it have to do with the two Mary's?

333
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:47,479
Speaker 1: You will run run, run to chasing after through Union Square.

334
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:51,720
Speaker 1: Damned if it don't, I said, Does it have to

335
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:55,120
Speaker 1: do with this? Harry then pulled a crumpled handbill from

336
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,160
Speaker 1: his pocket and shoved it in my face so close

337
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,720
Speaker 1: I can hardly read it. In big block letters, it

338
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:04,679
Speaker 1: said venus and furs and under it the exploding plastic inevitable,

339
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:07,639
Speaker 1: Whatever the fuck any of that meant. I did recognize

340
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:11,560
Speaker 1: the next two words, though velvet underground, Today's date in

341
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,919
Speaker 1: the hell's kitchen address were printed at the bottom of

342
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:17,679
Speaker 1: the page. It might, I told Harry, where'd you get this?

343
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:20,320
Speaker 1: I asked, fell out of one of the Mary's. He

344
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,280
Speaker 1: was run, run, running to chasin after the teenage Mary.

345
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,720
Speaker 1: He ain't teenaged. He's dirty, and yeah, he's the thing

346
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:31,240
Speaker 1: between me and your bread. It ain't my bread ace

347
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,760
Speaker 1: it's in Nunsios. If it were mine, you'd be buried

348
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:37,480
Speaker 1: under that dird floor already. We might have had some times.

349
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:39,879
Speaker 1: You would be watching the ponies run a raise. But

350
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:43,160
Speaker 1: I ate the sentimental type. Nunzio, on the other hand,

351
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:46,480
Speaker 1: tends to get sentimental about his money, though to a point.

352
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:48,960
Speaker 1: He gets all sad when it don't come back to him,

353
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,479
Speaker 1: and then he gets anxious, and then he gets angry,

354
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,880
Speaker 1: and pretty soon he's wanting to bury a deadbeat under

355
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:57,320
Speaker 1: a dird floor. So you got a one more chance

356
00:20:57,359 --> 00:21:00,760
Speaker 1: ace twenty four hours or the next time you see me,

357
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,960
Speaker 1: well you won't see me. You'll feel quick, cold steel

358
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,320
Speaker 1: against the back of your skull, and a second later

359
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:11,359
Speaker 1: you'll feel nothing, nothing at all. I hit the front

360
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:14,000
Speaker 1: door of the Hell's Kitchen address listed on Harry's handbill

361
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:18,520
Speaker 1: and entered a dark, compartmentalized space. Red light pulsed on

362
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:22,680
Speaker 1: and off slowly and intermittently blanketed the dingy, smoke filled space.

363
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,640
Speaker 1: Street light snuck through the window in tiny spurs, fancying

364
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:30,600
Speaker 1: itself boss. It wasn't. The red pulse and the darkness

365
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:33,280
Speaker 1: blew it out out of nowhere. What can only be

366
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:36,040
Speaker 1: described as a servant appeared with a drink and an

367
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:39,479
Speaker 1: array of pills on a tray. I refused all of it,

368
00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:42,280
Speaker 1: blew them off, lit a smoke, and slowly made my

369
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:46,200
Speaker 1: way into the space. There were bottles upon bottles of alcohol,

370
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 1: empty and full beer, wine, liquor, along with overfilled ash

371
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:53,960
Speaker 1: trays covering every flat surface. The sight of it all

372
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,760
Speaker 1: made me tired, weary. I could sleep a thousand years,

373
00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:02,399
Speaker 1: I thought. A record player spun endlessly and aimlessly, with

374
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:05,520
Speaker 1: its needle bumping up against the record's center label and

375
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,040
Speaker 1: the sound of the vinyl crackling on repeat added a

376
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:11,040
Speaker 1: weird ambiance to the viola player droning on in the corner.

377
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:14,520
Speaker 1: He looked like lurch, and the whole thing seemed intentional,

378
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 1: even though I knew clearly that it wasn't. And there

379
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:20,840
Speaker 1: were bodies intertwined with one another on the furniture post coitus,

380
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:25,919
Speaker 1: half naked in stone, dragging casually on cigarettes. Two ringleaders

381
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 1: patrolled the small space with giant bull whips. Both were

382
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:34,520
Speaker 1: masked in leather, shiny, shiny leather. One a man with long,

383
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 1: greasy fifty style pompadour and fit thighs like a varsity wrestler,

384
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,880
Speaker 1: who wore tight jeans, high heels, and nothing else aside

385
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 1: from his leather mask. The other a woman, a mistress.

386
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:48,120
Speaker 1: I guess you would call heer ore a shiny leather

387
00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:51,520
Speaker 1: MC jacket with nothing on under it, panti's heels and

388
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:54,960
Speaker 1: nothing else. They mock inspected the goings on on the

389
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:58,320
Speaker 1: couches and floor cushions and cracked their whips for added effect.

390
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:01,760
Speaker 1: Mister pomp circled away from me and toward the big

391
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:04,880
Speaker 1: platform bed at the end of the space. The mistress

392
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 1: followed and cracking her whip with more consistency. Lurch on

393
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:12,440
Speaker 1: the viola settled into something repetitive. The drone moved into

394
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 1: a melody, and the bodies lining the wall began a

395
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:18,399
Speaker 1: slow clap in unison, and a hypnotic rhythm took shape

396
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:22,080
Speaker 1: around us, and mister Pomp climbed onto the bed, slowly

397
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 1: on all fours, waving that big ass of his at

398
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:27,240
Speaker 1: all of us for effect, and the mistress gave it

399
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 1: a crack with her whip, and the bodies took up

400
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:31,879
Speaker 1: a chant in time with the viola in their claps.

401
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:35,000
Speaker 1: At first it was a murmur I couldn't quite understand,

402
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 1: but then the words emerged clearly in unison. Taste the whip,

403
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:43,240
Speaker 1: Taste the whip, Taste the whip. They repeated in Eastern

404
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 1: mantra style, over and over again. The mistress set about

405
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:50,000
Speaker 1: to humiliate mister Pomp. He lay on the bed on

406
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 1: his back. She straddled him and strapped the ballgag around

407
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 1: his head, under his mask and into his mouth. She

408
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,000
Speaker 1: got off, stood and cracked a whip repeatedly across his

409
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:03,560
Speaker 1: hairy chest. The ballgag absorbed his screams. The servants stood

410
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 1: next to me, still holding his platter of goodies out

411
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 1: in front of him. Even though he was fully attending

412
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,920
Speaker 1: to the show happening in front of him, Everyone stared.

413
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:14,679
Speaker 1: Most shifted in their seats, adjusting themselves just a little

414
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:20,720
Speaker 1: too forcefully. Trousers tightened, panties loosened, heads swelled in hearts quickened.

415
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:24,199
Speaker 1: Mine included what the fuck was happening to me? What

416
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:27,159
Speaker 1: had I got myself into? The mistress stood on the

417
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 1: platform bed now above mister pomp. She took one of

418
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:33,680
Speaker 1: her heels and dug it into his chest. More Ball

419
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 1: gagged screams off to the side of the bed behind it. Really,

420
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:40,919
Speaker 1: in the darkness, I could see him there. He was

421
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:44,240
Speaker 1: lou standing in front of what must have been the

422
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 1: emergency exit. As his back was up against the door,

423
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,640
Speaker 1: which faced the back of the building where the fire

424
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:52,639
Speaker 1: escape would most naturally be. He was mesmerized. Of course,

425
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:55,960
Speaker 1: he was the depraved little fuck. I quickly braced the

426
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 1: servant next to me with a firm grip under his

427
00:24:57,880 --> 00:24:59,800
Speaker 1: arm and quietly pulled him back a few steps to

428
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 1: make sure any slight scene would go unnoticed. It broke

429
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:06,359
Speaker 1: his spell. He seemed shocked, and before he could speak

430
00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:08,399
Speaker 1: I stuck a snub nose thirty eight into his ribs

431
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:11,320
Speaker 1: and whispered, sharply, one fucking word you bleed out on

432
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 1: this pistaine floor got me. Pluto nodded, and ironically he

433
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:18,440
Speaker 1: started to piss his trousers. Which of these pills knocks

434
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:22,199
Speaker 1: you out? Not speed downers? He timidly pointed to a

435
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:26,200
Speaker 1: pile of grayish green pills. What are they, I asked, Mandy's?

436
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:30,840
Speaker 1: He said, mandricks, basically horse tranquilizers. I grabbed as many

437
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:32,680
Speaker 1: as I could in one handful off of his tray

438
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:35,399
Speaker 1: and made my way toward Lou. No one noticed me,

439
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:39,399
Speaker 1: especially not my guy. The depraved fuck show kept captivating

440
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:42,720
Speaker 1: the room. I walked past the bed into the darkness,

441
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 1: straight up to Lou, palmed his face and need his groin,

442
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,840
Speaker 1: all in one continuous motion, pushed his body with mine

443
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:52,280
Speaker 1: backward and straight out the emergency exited onto the fire escape.

444
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 1: He was slouched onto my chest in agony. I snapped

445
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,080
Speaker 1: him back upright, looked into his weasy eyes and had

446
00:25:58,080 --> 00:25:59,880
Speaker 1: a mind to do a society of favor and toss

447
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:04,200
Speaker 1: over the railing and onto the street. At first I didn't. Instead,

448
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:07,200
Speaker 1: I unloaded with a right to his gut. The pain

449
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:09,640
Speaker 1: caused him to buckle over again. I grabbed a touch

450
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:11,960
Speaker 1: of his curly black hair above his forehead and yanked

451
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,720
Speaker 1: his head back. Then I opened his lips and shoved

452
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,119
Speaker 1: the mandies into his mouth. I swung him around and

453
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,639
Speaker 1: up against the building in one fluid motion, pressed my

454
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:22,200
Speaker 1: body against his, securing him to the wall, and pinched

455
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,480
Speaker 1: his nose with one hand and held both his eyes

456
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:27,880
Speaker 1: open with my other Chew and swallow, motherfucker, or you've

457
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,800
Speaker 1: already drawn your last breaths. He did as he was

458
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 1: told quickly. I let go of him and gasped for air.

459
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 1: I let loose with another merciless wallet to his gut.

460
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:41,639
Speaker 1: He fell to his knees in front of me. Without thinking,

461
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 1: I raised my knees sharply into his face. He toppled

462
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 1: over under the grated iron fire escape. I picked him up,

463
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:51,240
Speaker 1: tossed him over my shoulder, and descended onto the street

464
00:26:51,280 --> 00:27:17,399
Speaker 1: in search of a cabby who could keep a secret.

465
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:24,119
Speaker 1: Big bill paid the hacks fare. I caught him outside

466
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:25,920
Speaker 1: his Long Island home, on his way out the door

467
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:28,720
Speaker 1: to start his work day. Two stints in Korea for

468
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:32,119
Speaker 1: the weekend shift at Riker's Bill had it worse than

469
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,840
Speaker 1: I did, I thought to myself. He was shocked when

470
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,720
Speaker 1: he saw him I drugged and beaten package. He told

471
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:40,879
Speaker 1: me what he didn't want to know anything. All I

472
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 1: told him was that the package was crucial to getting

473
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:45,879
Speaker 1: his daughter off. He told me, Marsha and his wife

474
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:47,640
Speaker 1: were away at his mother in law's for a couple

475
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,359
Speaker 1: of days and the house was mine. Put the package

476
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 1: on ice and we'd sort it out when he got

477
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:53,119
Speaker 1: home after his shift.

478
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 3: Big Bill never came home or I left too soon.

479
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:03,880
Speaker 3: I can't remember much these days. The electro shock therapy

480
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:08,000
Speaker 3: scrambled my memories. My parents had me committed after the

481
00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:12,159
Speaker 3: Waldo Jeffers thing. Said I was crazy, said I had

482
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:16,159
Speaker 3: a violent homosexual streak. At least that's what I told people,

483
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:20,359
Speaker 3: the homosexual part of it, not the violent part. It

484
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:23,720
Speaker 3: made for better press, and lord knows those rock journalists

485
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 3: needed all the help they could get. The violent part

486
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:30,879
Speaker 3: wasn't true either. I'm just telling you now because it

487
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:35,119
Speaker 3: sounds good. I can't help myself out. At Bill Bronson's

488
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 3: house on Long Island, where I grew up, well, Marsha

489
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 3: Bronson's house, my old friend Waldo's girlfriend. The kitchen was

490
00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 3: recognizable to me. I'd been in it once or twice

491
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,800
Speaker 3: before as a kid a couple of years back, visiting

492
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:53,120
Speaker 3: with Waldo. I liked Marcia and I like Waldo. But

493
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 3: I didn't help Waldo do what he did. Not like

494
00:28:56,400 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 3: Ace said, this was a phony, a fraud. He laid

495
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,480
Speaker 3: into me pretty bad in that kitchen. I gave him

496
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:06,200
Speaker 3: the silent treatment. He put his hands on me. I

497
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 3: stayed dummied up.

498
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 1: No way I.

499
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:11,040
Speaker 3: Did what he said I did. Could have happened this way,

500
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 3: he said. You and Waldo were hanging out at his place.

501
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 1: He's love sick. He's had one le his whole life.

502
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 1: Now she lives in Wisconsin. Waldo knows in his bones

503
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:23,800
Speaker 1: that he can't keep Marsha faithful, not while she's at school.

504
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,040
Speaker 1: Hard enough for a guy like Waldo to keep a

505
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:28,120
Speaker 1: girl like Marsha here on Long Island with the home

506
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 1: field advantage, How's he going to do it while she's

507
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 1: off at school being chased by varsity letterman with actual

508
00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 1: shoulder frames. It's a real bad break for old Waldo,

509
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:40,480
Speaker 1: a real heartbreaker. You being the bleeding heartbeat nick poet,

510
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:44,240
Speaker 1: you aspired it you feel for Waldo. He's broke. You're broke,

511
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 1: you're dope, sick, he's dumb. You get an idea, Yeah,

512
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:51,440
Speaker 1: that's right, you get an idea. If you got no

513
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:53,120
Speaker 1: money and you can't buy a bus ticket out to

514
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 1: Wisconsin for Waldo to visit Marsha, why not put your parents'

515
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:58,640
Speaker 1: tax dollars to work and catch Waldo a ride with

516
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:02,000
Speaker 1: the US Postal Service. So you box up old Waldo

517
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 1: all secure with rings of packing tape, a couple perforated holes,

518
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 1: and off he goes certified no class to Wisconsin to

519
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:11,640
Speaker 1: give his girl the surprise of her life. Except your

520
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:14,480
Speaker 1: dim witted plan goes wrong. You didn't count on a

521
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 1: young girl's hangover and her impatience, and Walbert winds up

522
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,720
Speaker 1: dead because of it, and a guy I owe a

523
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:22,600
Speaker 1: favor to you for saving my life, his daughter's life

524
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 1: now needs save and because of it, your little shit

525
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,000
Speaker 1: hel and your life ain't worth a penny pulp. You'll

526
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 1: be lucky enough to have your obituary written on when

527
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 1: you're gone. My life ain't with the penny. PI thinks

528
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:34,560
Speaker 1: he's lucky enough to have figured out here in the now.

529
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:38,800
Speaker 1: You don't know shit, Ace slick, real slick, baby. I

530
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:40,240
Speaker 1: ain't your fall guy at Pluto.

531
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 3: You got it all figured out, real good, I told him,

532
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:48,600
Speaker 3: and then I clammed up again. My silence charged him.

533
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:51,720
Speaker 3: He tried playing it cool, but he could see I

534
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:55,400
Speaker 3: was burning inside. I pressed my luck and stood from

535
00:30:55,440 --> 00:31:00,840
Speaker 3: the kitchen table water. He's just there at the table,

536
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:04,440
Speaker 3: staring at me. I got myself a glass from the sink.

537
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:08,480
Speaker 3: Sweat broke free from the top of Ace's forehead.

538
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 1: I had him.

539
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:15,160
Speaker 3: I walked around the house, opened the shades, let the

540
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 3: Sunday morning sun in. I went to Marsha's room.

541
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:21,000
Speaker 1: There just what I.

542
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 3: Wanted on her vanity, next to her hair brush, a

543
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:28,600
Speaker 3: handheld mirror. I grabbed it, walked back to the kitchen,

544
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 3: sat down opposite Ace at the kitchen table. His sweating

545
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:36,480
Speaker 3: was now more intense. His anger and frustration were palpable.

546
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 3: He seemed frozen in time, completely calcified into the kitchen chair.

547
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:45,040
Speaker 3: His speed Jones was back and it had complete.

548
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 1: Control over him.

549
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,400
Speaker 3: I put the mirror down between us, and from out

550
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 3: of my jean pocket, I dug out a bag of

551
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:54,600
Speaker 3: pills and threw them on the table. I had no

552
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 3: works shooting the speed was impossible, so I crushed the

553
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,840
Speaker 3: pills into fine powder with missus Bronson's rolling pin from

554
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 3: her kitchen drawer. Ace just watched intently, said nothing. I

555
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:11,680
Speaker 3: could feel his addiction. I divided the powder into thick

556
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 3: lines on the mirror between us. Ace salivated. I held

557
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:19,120
Speaker 3: up my hand on the table, palm up. Give it

558
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:22,840
Speaker 3: to me, I said. He looked at me, and his

559
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 3: whole face looked like a question mark. That's how intent

560
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 3: he suddenly was on satisfying me. I had what he wanted,

561
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 3: and there was no longer any reason to pin Waldo

562
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:36,360
Speaker 3: Jeffer's death on any one else but Marcia, least of

563
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:40,880
Speaker 3: all me. Since I had the speeds dash my bread,

564
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:45,720
Speaker 3: I said, give it to me. Ace dug into his pocket,

565
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:48,320
Speaker 3: pulled out a water of cash, and put twenty six

566
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:51,360
Speaker 3: dollars in my hand. I peeled off the twenty and

567
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 3: rolled it into a tight cylinder. I did the first

568
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:58,400
Speaker 3: line to even out to steady my nerves. Then I

569
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:02,400
Speaker 3: handed the rolled twenty to Ace. He quickly snorted up

570
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:05,280
Speaker 3: a line and stayed hovered over the mirror, perched to

571
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:07,360
Speaker 3: do another. As soon as the first made its way

572
00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 3: fully into his bloodstream. I spoke quietly.

573
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 1: You know it wasn't me.

574
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 3: You know, I said it again to be sure he

575
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:19,040
Speaker 3: heard me. You know it wasn't me. You know he

576
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 3: did another line and I said it again. You know

577
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:24,560
Speaker 3: it wasn't me.

578
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 1: I know it wasn't you. It wasn't you. Wasn't you.

579
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,960
Speaker 1: I heard lou speak while I tended to my jones.

580
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 1: I was surprised by what came over me. That dormant

581
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 1: craving took over. It owned me. It was more important

582
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 1: than anything, more important than Marcia Waldo, Big Bill, Uncle Dave, Beardless, Harry,

583
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 1: No Nos, Nunzio, Jesus, Stephanie, the Vasolene Voice, mess Hall, Mary, Jenny,

584
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:54,880
Speaker 1: Sweet Jane, jack Andy teenaged Mary. It didn't matter who

585
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:58,080
Speaker 1: was I kidding? They never mattered. They're all a justification,

586
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 1: a means to an end. If they were even real

587
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:03,480
Speaker 1: at all, not just figments of my war torn imagination.

588
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:06,480
Speaker 1: And what was the war anyway? How real was that?

589
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 1: How many actual memories did I have? How many of

590
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:11,719
Speaker 1: them did I make up to explain away my behavior?

591
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:14,280
Speaker 1: How many electro shock sessions did I need to undergo

592
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:17,799
Speaker 1: before all of it was gone? Louis spoke in a

593
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:21,320
Speaker 1: soothing voice. I continued to snort up as much speed

594
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:24,160
Speaker 1: as I could off of that mirror. Lou's voice felt

595
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:29,600
Speaker 1: good in my ears. He was reciting something pleasant, a poem.

596
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:32,480
Speaker 3: When you think the knight has seen your mind, that

597
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:36,400
Speaker 3: inside you're twisted and unkind, let me stand to show

598
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:37,560
Speaker 3: that you are blind.

599
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 1: His words rang true with the clarity I hadn't felt

600
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 1: in years. I snorted the last of the speed and

601
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:48,640
Speaker 1: looked up to face Lou across the table. He was gone.

602
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,960
Speaker 1: And then I looked down at the mirror, and there

603
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:56,400
Speaker 1: he was right there, staring back at me. He was me,

604
00:34:57,120 --> 00:35:02,760
Speaker 1: I was him, No reiedmont Alan Lewis Akaace Just Lewis,

605
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:07,560
Speaker 1: Allen Reid aka Lou Reid. I closed my eyes and

606
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:13,280
Speaker 1: heard his voice, my voice. I'll be your mirror, reflect

607
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 1: who you are.

608
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 3: The light on your door, to show that you're home.

609
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:20,960
Speaker 3: I stood up from the table, finished my glass of water,

610
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:24,640
Speaker 3: walked out of Marshall Bronson's kitchen down that suburban Long

611
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 3: Island street, two.

612
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:28,600
Speaker 1: Blocks to my parents' home for some peace and quiet.

613
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:31,640
Speaker 1: It was a tiny walk to end the tall town.

614
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:37,239
Speaker 1: And that's the short and long of it. Anyhow, this

615
00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 1: this Disgraceland. Disgraceland was created by Yours Truly and is

616
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:56,280
Speaker 1: produced in partnership with Double Elvis. Credits for this episode

617
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 1: can be found on the show notes page at disgracelambpod

618
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:03,000
Speaker 1: dot com. If you're listening as a disgracelan All Access member,

619
00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:05,719
Speaker 1: thank you for supporting the show. We really appreciate it,

620
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:08,279
Speaker 1: and if not, you can become a member right now

621
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Speaker 1: by going to disgracelampod dot com Slash Membership. Members can

622
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:16,759
Speaker 1: listen to every episode of disgracelan Ad free, Plus you'll

623
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Speaker 1: get one brand new exclusive episode every month, weekly unscripted

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Speaker 1: Rate and review the show, and follow us on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter,

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628
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Speaker 1: com slash at disgracelampod. Rock a Roller, He's the Mann