Speaker 1: Forty five days of the year we spend watching TV.
Speaker 1: If we watch an average of three hours of TV
Speaker 1: every single day, isn't that insane? I'm Raley Wukiah and
Speaker 1: on my podcast A Really Good Cry, we embrace the messy.
Speaker 2: And the beautiful, providing a space for.
Speaker 1: Raw, unfiltered conversations that celebrate vulnerability and allow you to
Speaker 1: tune in to learn, connect and find comfort together. Hi everyone,
Speaker 1: and welcome back to this week's episode of A Really
Speaker 1: Good Cry. I hope you've all had such a lovely,
Speaker 1: lovely week. I have had a pretty great one. Actually,
Speaker 1: it's been really busy, but all good busy, you know,
Speaker 1: like the kind of busy that you want to be.
Speaker 1: Every time I do feel like my life is getting
Speaker 1: a little bit hectic, I always remember this quote that
Speaker 1: says an idle mind is the devil's playground, and I
Speaker 1: was like, you know what, in that tro whenever I
Speaker 1: have too much time on my hands, which honestly haven't
Speaker 1: had for a while, it definitely allowed too much space
Speaker 1: for overthinking and also so doing things that weren't necessarily
Speaker 1: at the frequency I wanted to be doing the mat
Speaker 1: So being busy islways a good thing. So today I
Speaker 1: wanted to talk about how to not waste your evenings
Speaker 1: because I heard this one statistic and it literally changed everything.
Speaker 1: It changed how I spend my evenings, Like it has
Speaker 1: been embedded into my mind and I now cannot unhear it.
Speaker 1: It is that the average person watches three hours of
Speaker 1: TV per evening.
Speaker 2: That's twenty one hours.
Speaker 1: A week, which totals to one thousand and ninety five hours,
Speaker 1: which is forty five days of the year watching TV.
Speaker 1: Forty five days of the year we spend watching TV.
Speaker 1: If we watch an average of three hours of TV
Speaker 1: every single day, isn't that insane? Forty five days of
Speaker 1: the year. Now, imagine if you even spent just half
Speaker 1: of your evening on things that you've been dreaming of doing,
Speaker 1: trying to find the time to finish or create something
Speaker 1: that you've always wanted to. That's over twenty more days
Speaker 1: that you just freed up for yourself, twenty days your
Speaker 1: evenings of the time that you get for yourself.
Speaker 2: I get it.
Speaker 1: It's those few hours after work, maybe after your kids
Speaker 1: go to sleep. You know, that little bit of time
Speaker 1: that you get just to yourself. And for years, I
Speaker 1: honestly felt like I was trapped between this feeling of
Speaker 1: wanting to wedge out and do absolutely nothing, because yes,
Speaker 1: I was tired from my busy days, but also wanting
Speaker 1: to do all the things that I haven't had time
Speaker 1: to do during the day, or finishing things that I
Speaker 1: haven't completed yet. And honestly, I got to a point
Speaker 1: where I was just tired of not reaching the goals
Speaker 1: that I had or starting things that I've always wanted to,
Speaker 1: and also feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled spending every single night
Speaker 1: watching TV after TV show after show, and it didn't
Speaker 1: make me feel inspired or excited or positive about life.
Speaker 1: Watching TV is quite a low frequency thing, especially with
Speaker 1: the things that we end up watching. If you're watching
Speaker 1: a documentary, if you're watching something educational, if you're watching
Speaker 1: something that makes you feel good, that's one thing. But
Speaker 1: most of the things that people are watching nowadays are
Speaker 1: actually pulling at the lower frequency versions of ourself. And
Speaker 1: what I mean by that, it's our lower tendencies gossiping.
Speaker 2: Like if you think.
Speaker 1: About reality TV, it's all based on gossip. If you
Speaker 1: think about a lot of the shows that are famous
Speaker 1: right now, they're all scary and dark or a lot
Speaker 1: of them just have a lot of sex in them.
Speaker 1: And I think that a lot of these things that
Speaker 1: we end up watching become us. Every single thing that
Speaker 1: we put into our mind or let through our senses
Speaker 1: becomes us, and so I always try to think. Look,
Speaker 1: of course, there are days where I love just sitting
Speaker 1: and watching a bit of Love Island, but I'm also
Speaker 1: aware of what it does to my mind, because if
Speaker 1: I'm watching gossip, I'm more likely to gossip. I'm more
Speaker 1: likely to get excited by gossip in real life if
Speaker 1: I'm getting excited about it while watching it. And now listen,
Speaker 1: I'm really not saying that you're wasting time if you're
Speaker 1: watching a show every single night or scrolling on Instagram
Speaker 1: all night. If you are happy and content about it,
Speaker 1: then that's great, But I feel like most of us
Speaker 1: are not. Deep down, if you think about it, you're
Speaker 1: probably not really happy that that's how you're spending your
Speaker 1: nights and it is not fulfilling you. So, if you're
Speaker 1: like me, and you're someone who keeps wishing that they
Speaker 1: had time to do all the things they wanted to do,
Speaker 1: the dreams, the goals, or the things in your life
Speaker 1: that you feel you just don't get the time to
Speaker 1: do during the day, or if at the end of
Speaker 1: the night you're thinking, what did I even do with
Speaker 1: my evening? I wish I had done this, this or this.
Speaker 1: Then these few hours are your golden hours, and this
Speaker 1: episode is specifically made for you.
Speaker 2: This is the first step.
Speaker 1: If you've chosen to click on this, it means that
Speaker 1: you want to change how you are spending your evenings.
Speaker 1: I've been there, and so I know how frustrating the
Speaker 1: cycle can be. You finish work, you're tired, and I
Speaker 1: can't even imagine once you have kids, you then have
Speaker 1: to look after them, and then that means you just
Speaker 1: want to sit in front of the TV and decompress,
Speaker 1: switch off, and not use your mind or body for anything.
Speaker 2: I've been saying for months.
Speaker 1: I wanted to start a course, and I wanted to
Speaker 1: read this book, and I wanted more time to be
Speaker 1: creative or to dance classes or try new things. But
Speaker 1: I kept wasting my evenings doing the thing that I
Speaker 1: was used to over and over again that I actually
Speaker 1: don't want to be doing. So I looked into some
Speaker 1: of the psychology behind this, and there was something I
Speaker 1: came across called the reward system trap after a stress
Speaker 1: all day, our brain craves instant gratification like scrolling or
Speaker 1: streaming to just activate some sort of dopamine feeling. The
Speaker 1: feel good chemical that's in our brain is called dopamine.
Speaker 1: And so every single time we feel restless or tired
Speaker 1: or exhausted or not in a good mood, we're trying
Speaker 1: to find instant gratification where we can get this little
Speaker 1: hit of dopamine. And if we've already created the reward
Speaker 1: system being foods that are bad for us TV that's
Speaker 1: not stimulating us but gives us some sort of excitement
Speaker 1: or a sensation like that, that's what we end up
Speaker 1: going to.
Speaker 2: But then I came.
Speaker 1: Across something which is called the future self reward plan.
Speaker 1: It's basically when you choose to delay your gratification and
Speaker 1: then that strengthens your self control and motivation, and actually
Speaker 1: delaying gratification isn't deprivation. I always like I grew up
Speaker 1: not doing a lot of things in my life. I
Speaker 1: grew up deciding not to do drugs or do alcohol
Speaker 1: or a lot of the things that people were trying
Speaker 1: to find instant gratification for. When I was younger, and
Speaker 1: I spent a lot of my life being in discipline.
Speaker 1: And I remember when I was in discipline and people
Speaker 1: would see me, they'd be like, why are you restricting yourself?
Speaker 1: Why are you restricting yourself? Why you're not letting loose
Speaker 1: and having fun. And people really saw discipline and delayed
Speaker 1: gratification as me stopping myself or limiting myself, and they
Speaker 1: saw spontaneity and indulging in every single thing as being free.
Speaker 1: But actually, as I've gotten older, the thing that I've
Speaker 1: realized most is that discipline gives freedom. And actually, when
Speaker 1: you're controlled by your senses, when you're controlled by the
Speaker 1: things around you, when you're controlled by the things that
Speaker 1: you're eating or drinking or the things around you, you're actually.
Speaker 2: Not in control.
Speaker 1: And so my whole mindset around deprivation has completely changed
Speaker 1: because actually controlling yourself is actually empowering. And so when
Speaker 1: you have the ability to not say yes to your
Speaker 1: senses every single time they come knocking, this delayed gratification actually.
Speaker 2: Makes you feel so empowered. You end up building trust
Speaker 2: with yourself.
Speaker 1: You prove to yourself that you can set goals, that
Speaker 1: you can stick to them, and that you can enjoy
Speaker 1: the rewards without impulsive decisions. Every single time that you
Speaker 1: follow through, you're essentially training your brain to prioritize long
Speaker 1: term success over short term comfort.
Speaker 2: I've also realized.
Speaker 1: When we say we're so tired and we want to
Speaker 1: wear out in front of the TV, a lot of
Speaker 1: the time it's saying I need some rest. But there's
Speaker 1: so many different types of tired and so many different
Speaker 1: types of rest. So let me explain what I mean
Speaker 1: by that. You have to reset your view of what
Speaker 1: rest actually means. I actually don't think people realize this,
Speaker 1: but there are different types of tired and different types
Speaker 1: of rest. So the different types of tired, what I
Speaker 1: mean by that is mental, physical, and emotional. And so
Speaker 1: in the same way, there are different types of rest
Speaker 1: that we might need, physical, mental, or emotional, and usually
Speaker 1: our solution to all of them is wodging out and
Speaker 1: watching something. But if you are mentally tired, actually stimulating
Speaker 1: your mind by watching TV may actually end up with
Speaker 1: you feeling more tired after watching it. So distinguishing what
Speaker 1: kind of tired you are and noticing the symptoms is
Speaker 1: so important. So, for example, the next time you feel
Speaker 1: physically exhausted, maybe you've had a hard day on your feet.
Speaker 1: That could still mean you could read a couple of
Speaker 1: pages of a book while you've got your feet in
Speaker 1: a foot massage, or you could sit cozy on your
Speaker 1: sofa and map out your next business plan. Physical rest
Speaker 1: means your physical body needs rest, but think, oh, it
Speaker 1: is my mind actually still ready to read a few
Speaker 1: pages or plan something or write something. You may still
Speaker 1: have that mental juice left in you. And if you're
Speaker 1: mentally tired, that might mean, oh, maybe I just need
Speaker 1: to close my eyes and listen to some music. Maybe
Speaker 1: I need to not think about anything and actually put
Speaker 1: on a beautiful audiobook that I've been meaning to listen to.
Speaker 1: And so you're receiving things without having to actually put
Speaker 1: an effort to do anything mentally. And if you need
Speaker 1: emotional rest, maybe that means you just don't want to
Speaker 1: be around people, You want to lock yourself in the
Speaker 1: dark room, and you just want to be with yourself.
Speaker 1: And so distinguishing between the three and then having solutions
Speaker 1: for the different ones stops you from just having the
Speaker 1: automatic go to of just sitting on the sofa watching something.
Speaker 1: I think we also need to reset our view of
Speaker 1: what rest means like there's something called active rest, So
Speaker 1: over time, I really think that we've conditioned ourselves to
Speaker 1: associate evenings with passive consumption rather than meaningful rest. So
Speaker 1: we kind of have to reframe our evenings as more
Speaker 1: of a space for active rest, not passive consumption. What
Speaker 1: I mean with that it's passive consumption is what I
Speaker 1: said watching up front of the TV. Active rest are
Speaker 1: the other options. What can I do that actually makes
Speaker 1: me feel fulfilled by the end of the day, The
Speaker 1: things that are going to make me feel like I've
Speaker 1: achieved the things I want to while still feeling like
Speaker 1: I'm doing it in a non anxious state, because I
Speaker 1: think a lot of our day also we go through
Speaker 1: it doing these activities anxiously. So maybe resting for you
Speaker 1: is just doing things slower in the evening, still doing
Speaker 1: the things you want to be doing, but doing them
Speaker 1: at a slower pace. We tend to base our standards
Speaker 1: and definitions of things based on what we've either seen
Speaker 1: others do in our family or what society encourages us
Speaker 1: to do. But something I remind myself of regularly is
Speaker 1: that just because it's the norm does not mean it's
Speaker 1: the right thing to do well, at least the right
Speaker 1: thing for me to do so, realizing that just because
Speaker 1: eighty percent or ninety percent of the world are sitting
Speaker 1: there watching TV after they've had a long day at work,
Speaker 1: does it mean that something you have to do if
Speaker 1: that's not what you actually want to do. The next
Speaker 1: thing I think can really help to get out of
Speaker 1: the patterns that you have created in the evening is
Speaker 1: a pre commitment strategy. Do not make it an option
Speaker 1: or a decision to make. Have a pre committed strategy.
Speaker 1: What that means is you pre plan. Nothing happens without planning.
Speaker 1: You will go back to your automated response if you
Speaker 1: do not make a alternate plan for you to stick to.
Speaker 1: So if I feel like this, I will do ex excess.
Speaker 1: If I feel physically tired, I will do this. If
Speaker 1: I feel mentally tired, I will do this. If I
Speaker 1: don't feel like doing any of them, the last resort
Speaker 1: is this, have a plan A, a plan B, and
Speaker 1: a plan C.
Speaker 2: So you just don't give up. So you know that
Speaker 2: you tried doing A.
Speaker 1: I wasn't ready for it. I'm too tired for that.
Speaker 1: But maybe let me try a plan B. And last
Speaker 1: off if that doesn't work, let me try Plan C,
Speaker 1: and if all else fails, then I will go to
Speaker 1: the TV.
Speaker 2: But usually you'll get to.
Speaker 1: Plan A or at least Plan B, and you'll feel
Speaker 1: like you'll have got at least a little bit more
Speaker 1: done than you normally would have. So for me, it's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I want to read ten pages of this book, but
Speaker 1: if I feel too sleepy to read and I'm falling asleep,
Speaker 1: I'll say, okay, maybe I'll just read five pages. And
Speaker 1: if I really can't do that, I'll say, okay, maybe
Speaker 1: I'll listen to an audiobook. And if I can't do that,
Speaker 1: I'll say, okay, maybe then I'll just watch a documentary
Speaker 1: of something that I'm really interested in. Maybe I'll watch
Speaker 1: the Food Network and watch something where I can learn
Speaker 1: and make get inspiration from for the things that I
Speaker 1: want to me And I'm like, okay, fine, if I
Speaker 1: don't want to do that, maybe I'll flick through a
Speaker 1: cookbook and I'll plan my meals for next week. And
Speaker 1: so like, I have all these little things that I
Speaker 1: know I want to do, and I'll try and stop
Speaker 1: them into Plan ABC. Ord also decide in the morning
Speaker 1: how you will spend your evening, start prepping your mind
Speaker 1: for the evening schedule activities like exercise, reading, even a
Speaker 1: mindful reset, and start telling your brain that this is
Speaker 1: what we're going to be doing in the evening. Next up,
Speaker 1: it's creating friction for distractions. We make our distractions so
Speaker 1: readily available to us. They look juicy and tempting constantly.
Speaker 1: So really we're just setting ourselves up for failure. And
Speaker 1: I know you can relate to the feeling of sitting
Speaker 1: down with a book. You're so excited to sit down
Speaker 1: with this book. You start reading a couple of lines,
Speaker 1: and then your phone lights up next to you, and
Speaker 1: you're like, okay, fine, I'll just check it.
Speaker 2: It might be important.
Speaker 1: Next thing you know, it's been an hour and you've
Speaker 1: only made it to chapter one, line two, but you've
Speaker 1: scrolled through one hundred reels. So ideally, leave all your
Speaker 1: distractions in another room. Create an area in also on
Speaker 1: your flat, or in a little space, a little pillow
Speaker 1: where you know when you're sitting on it, you will
Speaker 1: not be touching your phone. We have that in our
Speaker 1: meditation era. We really try to not take any devices
Speaker 1: into there. Sometimes I fail, but.
Speaker 2: The idea is there.
Speaker 1: Let's not take any devices into our meditation area, and
Speaker 1: therefore we create a sacred space where we know we're
Speaker 1: just connecting to our meditation practice there. And it can
Speaker 1: be the same for the things that you want to
Speaker 1: do in the evening, whether it's writing something you just
Speaker 1: have the pen and the paper there, or whether it's
Speaker 1: reading something and you just have your book there. So
Speaker 1: ideally put your phone in another room, or at least
Speaker 1: on do not disturb so you don't constantly have those
Speaker 1: notifications popping up and trying to distruct you. I also
Speaker 1: read about something called identity based habits, and it says
Speaker 1: that we're more likely to stick to our new habits
Speaker 1: if they align with how we see ourselves. So instead
Speaker 1: of saying I should read instead of scrolling, say I'm
Speaker 1: the kind of person who likes to read in the evenings.
Speaker 1: It's almost like creating this personality that you want to become,
Speaker 1: rather than saying that you should or shouldn't do something.
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, I'm the kind of person who reads
Speaker 1: every day. I'm the kind of person who plans had
Speaker 1: dreams in the evening. And so you almost like start
Speaker 1: to identify with this new narrative that you want to
Speaker 1: create next up.
Speaker 2: If all fails, bargain with yourself.
Speaker 1: Okay, we all love a good negotiation, and tell yourself
Speaker 1: you'll do twenty minutes of the thing that you want
Speaker 1: to do, and then you can wedge out and do
Speaker 1: absolutely nothing. Usually when I tell myself that, I'll actually
Speaker 1: end up getting into it and spending way longer than
Speaker 1: I said. So I'll be like, Okay, you only have
Speaker 1: to read five pages, So I'll read the five pages,
Speaker 1: then I'll read another five, then I read another vibe.
Speaker 1: It really doesn't have to be your whole evening that
Speaker 1: you're spending doing these things that are life changing. You
Speaker 1: can decide that you only want to spend half an
Speaker 1: hour or an hour that you dedicate to these things,
Speaker 1: and then the rest of the time is free for
Speaker 1: you to do whatever else you want, including watching TV.
Speaker 1: Habit stacking one of my favorite ones. Okay, so I've
Speaker 1: gotten into this habit. Every single day I'm like, I
Speaker 1: want to walk more, and sometimes I don't want to
Speaker 1: walk at night my body is physically tired. I usually
Speaker 1: have my workout in the morning, but then I also
Speaker 1: know I want to try and get ten thousand steps in.
Speaker 1: So what I've started doing is I have to work
Speaker 1: a lot on my laptop when I'm writing or writing
Speaker 1: for episodes like this, and so I've started doing a
Speaker 1: minimum of sixty minutes every single day after I eat lunch.
Speaker 1: I've got a treadmill and I've got a little working
Speaker 1: desk that you can put on top of the treadmill.
Speaker 1: I can put my laptop and I can actually write
Speaker 1: while I work, and I absolutely love it. Sixty minutes
Speaker 1: tends into ninety sometimes it turns into two hours that
Speaker 1: I'm walking and working. And let me tell you, I
Speaker 1: get so much creative juice flowing just by walking. And
Speaker 1: I think there's something too doing an activity or while
Speaker 1: you're also trying to think, because I think it removes
Speaker 1: distractions because you're already doing two things at once. But also,
Speaker 1: I truly believe in physical movements stimulating mental movement, and
Speaker 1: so when you're physically moving, it's also like you get endorphins,
Speaker 1: your adrenaliness pumping, and more oxygen is flowing in your body,
Speaker 1: and actually it makes it so much so it makes
Speaker 1: me so much more productive. So habit stacking is essentially
Speaker 1: adding something new with something that you already do. So
Speaker 1: you're anchoring new habits to existing ones, which makes it
Speaker 1: easier to essentially add into your routine. You don't feel
Speaker 1: like you're having to take out extra time to do it. So,
Speaker 1: for example, if you want to listen to a podcast,
Speaker 1: you might do it while you're washing dishes, fifteen minutes
Speaker 1: of it. If you like to walk and you're already
Speaker 1: on the treadmill and you want to read a book,
Speaker 1: maybe you have your iPad up on your treadmill while
Speaker 1: you're reading, I mean while you're walking. I really find
Speaker 1: that's helpful because you're already doing something anyway, and so
Speaker 1: you're just adding it into the time period that you
Speaker 1: would usually do that. One thing, like given in the morning,
Speaker 1: I'll brush my teeth, but at the same time, I'll
Speaker 1: step on my Mama Matt. If I thought about doing
Speaker 1: that rundom me throughout the day, it probably wouldn't happen.
Speaker 1: But I'm brushing my teeth, and when I'm brushing my teeth,
Speaker 1: I'm standing on my Mama Matt, and so two things
Speaker 1: get done at once, which also makes you feel really efficient.
Speaker 1: The next thing I've gotten really into is intentional entertainment
Speaker 1: and what I mean by that is what I was
Speaker 1: saying before choosing entertainment with intention, which also prevents you
Speaker 1: from feeling guilty from watching and also kind of stops
Speaker 1: you from overwatching, because eventually you get tired of watching
Speaker 1: things like documentaries or things that are actually educational because
Speaker 1: you have to use your brain for it. And so
Speaker 1: instead of default scrolling, you could pick one meaningful show,
Speaker 1: a movie, or online class to watch. Also setting a
Speaker 1: timer to limit your consumption. It is called consumption for
Speaker 1: a reason. It consumes you. And so whether it's Netflix,
Speaker 1: whether it is any kind of online platform, is made
Speaker 1: to keep you hooked, to keep you watching.
Speaker 2: Oh do you like this show? You might like this one,
Speaker 2: this one, and this one.
Speaker 1: It is called consumption for a reason because it consumes you.
Speaker 1: Set a timer because, let me tell you, one show
Speaker 1: will turn into five. It's not called binge watching for
Speaker 1: no reason. You will sit there and you will end
Speaker 1: up binging, and hours and hours will pass. And so
Speaker 1: make a choice to just say, hey, I'm watching this
Speaker 1: for an hour, and that is it. No matter whether
Speaker 1: I get through an episode or not, an hour is
Speaker 1: my limits, and then switch to another activity afterwards. Another
Speaker 1: thing I absolutely love that has helped me accountable for
Speaker 1: my reading in the evening is accountability Partners.
Speaker 2: I now have a WhatsApp group.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like a book club, but really we
Speaker 1: just share accountability by sending tics or checkmarks every single
Speaker 1: day that we read. And then people will be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm really struggling right now. I didn't make it through.
Speaker 1: I'm still catching up, and so you kind of get
Speaker 1: to see you get people. You feel like you're not
Speaker 1: the only one struggling. Number one and number two. It
Speaker 1: also helps when people are sending in their tics, You're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I really have to do my reading today, so I
Speaker 1: also think I need to remind you guys of something.
Speaker 1: Our mood and our actions can be separated. And OK,
Speaker 1: here's the deal. Our brains are wired for comfort.
Speaker 2: We know this.
Speaker 1: When you're in a bad mood, your brain says, hey,
Speaker 1: let's just skip that workout.
Speaker 2: You don't need it.
Speaker 1: You worked out yesterday, you do not need to move
Speaker 1: your body today. Instead, why don't we watch the next
Speaker 1: episode of You. It's out and it's going to be
Speaker 1: a wild one. It will feels so much better than that.
Speaker 1: But here's the catch. When you're waiting to feel motivated
Speaker 1: before you act. It is an absolute trap. Your mind
Speaker 1: is trapping you. Your mind is trying to keep you
Speaker 1: comfortable instead of pushing you, because even if something is
Speaker 1: good for you, if it is out of your comfort zone,
Speaker 1: you are going to feel like it is not good
Speaker 1: for you, and your mind is going to try and
Speaker 1: keep you as comfortable as you possibly can, even if
Speaker 1: it's not a good comfort. So most of the time,
Speaker 1: action has to come first and then good mood follows.
Speaker 1: So you have to do the thing and your brain
Speaker 1: will catch up later. And when you take these small
Speaker 1: positive actions, even if you're not feeling like it, it
Speaker 1: is creating these new patterns, these new pathways that your
Speaker 1: brain didn't realize could exist, and not only didn't know
Speaker 1: can exist that you can actually feel good from doing,
Speaker 1: and so you cannot wait till you feel something before
Speaker 1: you do it. That is an absolute myth. We can
Speaker 1: get so used to saying, oh, I'm feeling like this,
Speaker 1: or I should just do this tomorrow, but that just
Speaker 1: becomes a narrative that we keep telling ourselves to constantly
Speaker 1: give way to emotions and postpone important things to tomorrow.
Speaker 1: Tomorrow becomes the next day. And the next, and then
Speaker 1: it just doesn't happen. And so create the pathways that
Speaker 1: you want to. And at first, yes, it will be
Speaker 1: difficult to push past the comfort feeling that your mind
Speaker 1: is telling you you need putting yourself into discomfort, But
Speaker 1: as soon as you've taken that one step or done
Speaker 1: something differently, once you've already created that pathway, and then
Speaker 1: it becomes easier and easier to walk on it. It's
Speaker 1: almost like a path where no one's walked. Eventually someone else,
Speaker 1: someone's footsteps goes there, and then you're like, oh, someone's
Speaker 1: been there, maybe I could do it too. And then
Speaker 1: more people start going, more people start going, and eventually
Speaker 1: the dirt road becomes a full pathway because enough people
Speaker 1: have stepped on it. And so that's exactly what you're
Speaker 1: doing for yourself. You're actually, yes, the first time will
Speaker 1: be difficult going through the forest and all the leaves
Speaker 1: and all the mud on the floor, But the second,
Speaker 1: the third, the fourth, the fifth time, just making it
Speaker 1: an easier pathway for you.
Speaker 2: To keep following.
Speaker 1: And you know what, sometimes I put things online people
Speaker 1: like you just need to relax. Can't some parts of
Speaker 1: life just be unintentional?
Speaker 2: And free.
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course it can be, but it really just
Speaker 1: depends on how deeply you want to be or do
Speaker 1: what you're saying you want to be or do. So
Speaker 1: it's not wrong to have unintentional moments, but if your
Speaker 1: deep intention is to reach your goal or to start
Speaker 1: something or to finish something, then actually every single moment
Speaker 1: of intention does matter. So yes, you can have unintentional moments,
Speaker 1: but the more unintentional moments you have, the slower it
Speaker 1: will take for you to reach your goal, and the
Speaker 1: less likely it will take for you to reach your goal.
Speaker 1: The more steps that you take towards something, the closer
Speaker 1: you're going to get to it. The more time you
Speaker 1: spend taking those steps, the further you will go each time.
Speaker 1: So really and truly, it just depends how much do
Speaker 1: I want to do the thing and how fast do
Speaker 1: I want it to happen, And that should really help
Speaker 1: you to decide how many evenings you want to spend
Speaker 1: watching TV, how many hours a night you want to
Speaker 1: spend doing the thing you want to do, And it
Speaker 1: really does just put things into perspective. Sometimes you also
Speaker 1: just have to learn how to disrupt the pattern. You
Speaker 1: have to change your regular routine. So if you're used
Speaker 1: to finishing work and going to the sofa, mix it
Speaker 1: up again. This is to do with patterns. Go to
Speaker 1: another room straight away instead, do not go into the
Speaker 1: room where your TV is the space to go to
Speaker 1: where you've already got your setup ready. And so it
Speaker 1: creates this new routine and you already have a separate
Speaker 1: space where you're not used to going and doing that
Speaker 1: activity you don't want to do. You says to break
Speaker 1: the pattern of what your in habit of doing. Look,
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, these are all the
Speaker 1: little tips and tricks that you can do to try
Speaker 1: and help you break out of your routine. Whether it's
Speaker 1: habit stacking, whether it's creating new environments, whether it is
Speaker 1: getting out of your comfort zone or planning and setting
Speaker 1: yourself up for success. And I've told you all of
Speaker 1: it in theory, but this really is a proof in
Speaker 1: the putting situation.
Speaker 2: There's only so much that I can tell.
Speaker 1: You and that you know theoretically before you just tried
Speaker 1: and experience it for yourself. And so I've given you
Speaker 1: the theory and I've given you my experience of it,
Speaker 1: but you have to just give it a go. Yourself,
Speaker 1: and I guarantee you you will not regret it. There's
Speaker 1: no part of me that says, oh, I wish I
Speaker 1: hadn't read this book, or I wish I hadn't spent
Speaker 1: my night reading this and learning something.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I'm just so much smarter.
Speaker 1: How awful, Oh, oh my gosh, this has given me a
Speaker 1: new perspective to life.
Speaker 2: How awful.
Speaker 1: But I have binge watched some Love Island and thought, oh,
Speaker 1: why the flip did I do that? So either you
Speaker 1: can learn from my experience or you can create your own.
Speaker 1: But I guarantee you will not regret not wasting your evenings.
Speaker 1: Hope you have a wonderful day. Hope you have a
Speaker 1: wonderful evening wherever you are listening from. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much and let me know if this helped you, and
Speaker 1: if you do end up breaking free of your usual
Speaker 1: evening pattern. I would love to hear your stories and
Speaker 1: can't wait to see what you will decide to achieve
Speaker 1: with all your extra days that you will have and
Speaker 1: extra hours in the evening.