1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,600 Speaker 1: Forty five days of the year we spend watching TV. 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:07,040 Speaker 1: If we watch an average of three hours of TV 3 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:11,920 Speaker 1: every single day, isn't that insane? I'm Raley Wukiah and 4 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:16,120 Speaker 1: on my podcast A Really Good Cry, we embrace the messy. 5 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:17,960 Speaker 2: And the beautiful, providing a space for. 6 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 1: Raw, unfiltered conversations that celebrate vulnerability and allow you to 7 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:26,400 Speaker 1: tune in to learn, connect and find comfort together. Hi everyone, 8 00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:28,640 Speaker 1: and welcome back to this week's episode of A Really 9 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 1: Good Cry. I hope you've all had such a lovely, 10 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:34,120 Speaker 1: lovely week. I have had a pretty great one. Actually, 11 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,519 Speaker 1: it's been really busy, but all good busy, you know, 12 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:39,239 Speaker 1: like the kind of busy that you want to be. 13 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 1: Every time I do feel like my life is getting 14 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: a little bit hectic, I always remember this quote that 15 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:50,400 Speaker 1: says an idle mind is the devil's playground, and I 16 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:52,440 Speaker 1: was like, you know what, in that tro whenever I 17 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:54,200 Speaker 1: have too much time on my hands, which honestly haven't 18 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 1: had for a while, it definitely allowed too much space 19 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:01,840 Speaker 1: for overthinking and also so doing things that weren't necessarily 20 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:04,040 Speaker 1: at the frequency I wanted to be doing the mat 21 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 1: So being busy islways a good thing. So today I 22 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:12,000 Speaker 1: wanted to talk about how to not waste your evenings 23 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:16,560 Speaker 1: because I heard this one statistic and it literally changed everything. 24 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 1: It changed how I spend my evenings, Like it has 25 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 1: been embedded into my mind and I now cannot unhear it. 26 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 1: It is that the average person watches three hours of 27 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:27,959 Speaker 1: TV per evening. 28 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 2: That's twenty one hours. 29 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:33,240 Speaker 1: A week, which totals to one thousand and ninety five hours, 30 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 1: which is forty five days of the year watching TV. 31 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 1: Forty five days of the year we spend watching TV. 32 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:45,000 Speaker 1: If we watch an average of three hours of TV 33 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 1: every single day, isn't that insane? Forty five days of 34 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:54,280 Speaker 1: the year. Now, imagine if you even spent just half 35 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:57,520 Speaker 1: of your evening on things that you've been dreaming of doing, 36 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 1: trying to find the time to finish or create something 37 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:04,240 Speaker 1: that you've always wanted to. That's over twenty more days 38 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:07,200 Speaker 1: that you just freed up for yourself, twenty days your 39 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:09,079 Speaker 1: evenings of the time that you get for yourself. 40 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:09,640 Speaker 2: I get it. 41 00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 1: It's those few hours after work, maybe after your kids 42 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,320 Speaker 1: go to sleep. You know, that little bit of time 43 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:17,920 Speaker 1: that you get just to yourself. And for years, I 44 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:20,520 Speaker 1: honestly felt like I was trapped between this feeling of 45 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 1: wanting to wedge out and do absolutely nothing, because yes, 46 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:28,600 Speaker 1: I was tired from my busy days, but also wanting 47 00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:30,800 Speaker 1: to do all the things that I haven't had time 48 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:33,960 Speaker 1: to do during the day, or finishing things that I 49 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,560 Speaker 1: haven't completed yet. And honestly, I got to a point 50 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 1: where I was just tired of not reaching the goals 51 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:41,840 Speaker 1: that I had or starting things that I've always wanted to, 52 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:46,760 Speaker 1: and also feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled spending every single night 53 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:51,680 Speaker 1: watching TV after TV show after show, and it didn't 54 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:55,120 Speaker 1: make me feel inspired or excited or positive about life. 55 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,400 Speaker 1: Watching TV is quite a low frequency thing, especially with 56 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:00,440 Speaker 1: the things that we end up watching. If you're watching 57 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 1: a documentary, if you're watching something educational, if you're watching 58 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:07,080 Speaker 1: something that makes you feel good, that's one thing. But 59 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:09,560 Speaker 1: most of the things that people are watching nowadays are 60 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:13,520 Speaker 1: actually pulling at the lower frequency versions of ourself. And 61 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:16,920 Speaker 1: what I mean by that, it's our lower tendencies gossiping. 62 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:17,639 Speaker 2: Like if you think. 63 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 1: About reality TV, it's all based on gossip. If you 64 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:23,160 Speaker 1: think about a lot of the shows that are famous 65 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:26,720 Speaker 1: right now, they're all scary and dark or a lot 66 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,200 Speaker 1: of them just have a lot of sex in them. 67 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 1: And I think that a lot of these things that 68 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:35,280 Speaker 1: we end up watching become us. Every single thing that 69 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,920 Speaker 1: we put into our mind or let through our senses 70 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:41,720 Speaker 1: becomes us, and so I always try to think. Look, 71 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 1: of course, there are days where I love just sitting 72 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,560 Speaker 1: and watching a bit of Love Island, but I'm also 73 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 1: aware of what it does to my mind, because if 74 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,200 Speaker 1: I'm watching gossip, I'm more likely to gossip. I'm more 75 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:53,320 Speaker 1: likely to get excited by gossip in real life if 76 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,240 Speaker 1: I'm getting excited about it while watching it. And now listen, 77 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,400 Speaker 1: I'm really not saying that you're wasting time if you're 78 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 1: watching a show every single night or scrolling on Instagram 79 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 1: all night. If you are happy and content about it, 80 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,640 Speaker 1: then that's great, But I feel like most of us 81 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:09,120 Speaker 1: are not. Deep down, if you think about it, you're 82 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 1: probably not really happy that that's how you're spending your 83 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:14,440 Speaker 1: nights and it is not fulfilling you. So, if you're 84 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:16,640 Speaker 1: like me, and you're someone who keeps wishing that they 85 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 1: had time to do all the things they wanted to do, 86 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 1: the dreams, the goals, or the things in your life 87 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,200 Speaker 1: that you feel you just don't get the time to 88 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:26,200 Speaker 1: do during the day, or if at the end of 89 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 1: the night you're thinking, what did I even do with 90 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:31,120 Speaker 1: my evening? I wish I had done this, this or this. 91 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 1: Then these few hours are your golden hours, and this 92 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:36,320 Speaker 1: episode is specifically made for you. 93 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:37,679 Speaker 2: This is the first step. 94 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:40,920 Speaker 1: If you've chosen to click on this, it means that 95 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 1: you want to change how you are spending your evenings. 96 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,080 Speaker 1: I've been there, and so I know how frustrating the 97 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 1: cycle can be. You finish work, you're tired, and I 98 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 1: can't even imagine once you have kids, you then have 99 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,279 Speaker 1: to look after them, and then that means you just 100 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:55,960 Speaker 1: want to sit in front of the TV and decompress, 101 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 1: switch off, and not use your mind or body for anything. 102 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:00,800 Speaker 2: I've been saying for months. 103 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,039 Speaker 1: I wanted to start a course, and I wanted to 104 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,280 Speaker 1: read this book, and I wanted more time to be 105 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:08,960 Speaker 1: creative or to dance classes or try new things. But 106 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:11,520 Speaker 1: I kept wasting my evenings doing the thing that I 107 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,839 Speaker 1: was used to over and over again that I actually 108 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:15,640 Speaker 1: don't want to be doing. So I looked into some 109 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 1: of the psychology behind this, and there was something I 110 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 1: came across called the reward system trap after a stress 111 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:25,159 Speaker 1: all day, our brain craves instant gratification like scrolling or 112 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:28,599 Speaker 1: streaming to just activate some sort of dopamine feeling. The 113 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:30,920 Speaker 1: feel good chemical that's in our brain is called dopamine. 114 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,960 Speaker 1: And so every single time we feel restless or tired 115 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 1: or exhausted or not in a good mood, we're trying 116 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:39,000 Speaker 1: to find instant gratification where we can get this little 117 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:42,000 Speaker 1: hit of dopamine. And if we've already created the reward 118 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,719 Speaker 1: system being foods that are bad for us TV that's 119 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:48,200 Speaker 1: not stimulating us but gives us some sort of excitement 120 00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:51,080 Speaker 1: or a sensation like that, that's what we end up 121 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:51,520 Speaker 1: going to. 122 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:52,640 Speaker 2: But then I came. 123 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:54,920 Speaker 1: Across something which is called the future self reward plan. 124 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:58,880 Speaker 1: It's basically when you choose to delay your gratification and 125 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:02,360 Speaker 1: then that strengthens your self control and motivation, and actually 126 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:06,600 Speaker 1: delaying gratification isn't deprivation. I always like I grew up 127 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,719 Speaker 1: not doing a lot of things in my life. I 128 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 1: grew up deciding not to do drugs or do alcohol 129 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,760 Speaker 1: or a lot of the things that people were trying 130 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:18,200 Speaker 1: to find instant gratification for. When I was younger, and 131 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:20,880 Speaker 1: I spent a lot of my life being in discipline. 132 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,280 Speaker 1: And I remember when I was in discipline and people 133 00:06:23,279 --> 00:06:26,719 Speaker 1: would see me, they'd be like, why are you restricting yourself? 134 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,520 Speaker 1: Why are you restricting yourself? Why you're not letting loose 135 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:34,599 Speaker 1: and having fun. And people really saw discipline and delayed 136 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:39,880 Speaker 1: gratification as me stopping myself or limiting myself, and they 137 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:44,400 Speaker 1: saw spontaneity and indulging in every single thing as being free. 138 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:47,400 Speaker 1: But actually, as I've gotten older, the thing that I've 139 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:51,480 Speaker 1: realized most is that discipline gives freedom. And actually, when 140 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,839 Speaker 1: you're controlled by your senses, when you're controlled by the 141 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:57,320 Speaker 1: things around you, when you're controlled by the things that 142 00:06:57,360 --> 00:07:03,040 Speaker 1: you're eating or drinking or the things around you, you're actually. 143 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:03,440 Speaker 2: Not in control. 144 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:08,159 Speaker 1: And so my whole mindset around deprivation has completely changed 145 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:13,120 Speaker 1: because actually controlling yourself is actually empowering. And so when 146 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,960 Speaker 1: you have the ability to not say yes to your 147 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:21,120 Speaker 1: senses every single time they come knocking, this delayed gratification actually. 148 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:23,160 Speaker 2: Makes you feel so empowered. You end up building trust 149 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:23,840 Speaker 2: with yourself. 150 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:26,880 Speaker 1: You prove to yourself that you can set goals, that 151 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,440 Speaker 1: you can stick to them, and that you can enjoy 152 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:33,080 Speaker 1: the rewards without impulsive decisions. Every single time that you 153 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,560 Speaker 1: follow through, you're essentially training your brain to prioritize long 154 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,560 Speaker 1: term success over short term comfort. 155 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,160 Speaker 2: I've also realized. 156 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:41,600 Speaker 1: When we say we're so tired and we want to 157 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,560 Speaker 1: wear out in front of the TV, a lot of 158 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,320 Speaker 1: the time it's saying I need some rest. But there's 159 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:49,280 Speaker 1: so many different types of tired and so many different 160 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,040 Speaker 1: types of rest. So let me explain what I mean 161 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:53,560 Speaker 1: by that. You have to reset your view of what 162 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,800 Speaker 1: rest actually means. I actually don't think people realize this, 163 00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 1: but there are different types of tired and different types 164 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 1: of rest. So the different types of tired, what I 165 00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:05,120 Speaker 1: mean by that is mental, physical, and emotional. And so 166 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 1: in the same way, there are different types of rest 167 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,080 Speaker 1: that we might need, physical, mental, or emotional, and usually 168 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,480 Speaker 1: our solution to all of them is wodging out and 169 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:16,120 Speaker 1: watching something. But if you are mentally tired, actually stimulating 170 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,880 Speaker 1: your mind by watching TV may actually end up with 171 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 1: you feeling more tired after watching it. So distinguishing what 172 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:24,840 Speaker 1: kind of tired you are and noticing the symptoms is 173 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 1: so important. So, for example, the next time you feel 174 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:29,880 Speaker 1: physically exhausted, maybe you've had a hard day on your feet. 175 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 1: That could still mean you could read a couple of 176 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,040 Speaker 1: pages of a book while you've got your feet in 177 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:37,040 Speaker 1: a foot massage, or you could sit cozy on your 178 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,240 Speaker 1: sofa and map out your next business plan. Physical rest 179 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,439 Speaker 1: means your physical body needs rest, but think, oh, it 180 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,840 Speaker 1: is my mind actually still ready to read a few 181 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:48,320 Speaker 1: pages or plan something or write something. You may still 182 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,760 Speaker 1: have that mental juice left in you. And if you're 183 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:53,200 Speaker 1: mentally tired, that might mean, oh, maybe I just need 184 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,040 Speaker 1: to close my eyes and listen to some music. Maybe 185 00:08:56,080 --> 00:09:00,240 Speaker 1: I need to not think about anything and actually put 186 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:03,960 Speaker 1: on a beautiful audiobook that I've been meaning to listen to. 187 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 1: And so you're receiving things without having to actually put 188 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:10,640 Speaker 1: an effort to do anything mentally. And if you need 189 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 1: emotional rest, maybe that means you just don't want to 190 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,520 Speaker 1: be around people, You want to lock yourself in the 191 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,800 Speaker 1: dark room, and you just want to be with yourself. 192 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 1: And so distinguishing between the three and then having solutions 193 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,520 Speaker 1: for the different ones stops you from just having the 194 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:25,760 Speaker 1: automatic go to of just sitting on the sofa watching something. 195 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:29,640 Speaker 1: I think we also need to reset our view of 196 00:09:29,679 --> 00:09:32,480 Speaker 1: what rest means like there's something called active rest, So 197 00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:35,920 Speaker 1: over time, I really think that we've conditioned ourselves to 198 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 1: associate evenings with passive consumption rather than meaningful rest. So 199 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,559 Speaker 1: we kind of have to reframe our evenings as more 200 00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:46,280 Speaker 1: of a space for active rest, not passive consumption. What 201 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:47,960 Speaker 1: I mean with that it's passive consumption is what I 202 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,560 Speaker 1: said watching up front of the TV. Active rest are 203 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,079 Speaker 1: the other options. What can I do that actually makes 204 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:55,000 Speaker 1: me feel fulfilled by the end of the day, The 205 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:57,160 Speaker 1: things that are going to make me feel like I've 206 00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:00,560 Speaker 1: achieved the things I want to while still feeling like 207 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:03,679 Speaker 1: I'm doing it in a non anxious state, because I 208 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:05,720 Speaker 1: think a lot of our day also we go through 209 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:09,360 Speaker 1: it doing these activities anxiously. So maybe resting for you 210 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,200 Speaker 1: is just doing things slower in the evening, still doing 211 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:13,800 Speaker 1: the things you want to be doing, but doing them 212 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,120 Speaker 1: at a slower pace. We tend to base our standards 213 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:18,720 Speaker 1: and definitions of things based on what we've either seen 214 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:21,520 Speaker 1: others do in our family or what society encourages us 215 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:24,840 Speaker 1: to do. But something I remind myself of regularly is 216 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:27,400 Speaker 1: that just because it's the norm does not mean it's 217 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,560 Speaker 1: the right thing to do well, at least the right 218 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:32,560 Speaker 1: thing for me to do so, realizing that just because 219 00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:35,440 Speaker 1: eighty percent or ninety percent of the world are sitting 220 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,840 Speaker 1: there watching TV after they've had a long day at work, 221 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,559 Speaker 1: does it mean that something you have to do if 222 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:42,080 Speaker 1: that's not what you actually want to do. The next 223 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:44,680 Speaker 1: thing I think can really help to get out of 224 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,959 Speaker 1: the patterns that you have created in the evening is 225 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:50,000 Speaker 1: a pre commitment strategy. Do not make it an option 226 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:52,959 Speaker 1: or a decision to make. Have a pre committed strategy. 227 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:56,640 Speaker 1: What that means is you pre plan. Nothing happens without planning. 228 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,120 Speaker 1: You will go back to your automated response if you 229 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,080 Speaker 1: do not make a alternate plan for you to stick to. 230 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:05,760 Speaker 1: So if I feel like this, I will do ex excess. 231 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:08,760 Speaker 1: If I feel physically tired, I will do this. If 232 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:10,839 Speaker 1: I feel mentally tired, I will do this. If I 233 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:13,120 Speaker 1: don't feel like doing any of them, the last resort 234 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,960 Speaker 1: is this, have a plan A, a plan B, and 235 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 1: a plan C. 236 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,520 Speaker 2: So you just don't give up. So you know that 237 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:19,480 Speaker 2: you tried doing A. 238 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,360 Speaker 1: I wasn't ready for it. I'm too tired for that. 239 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:24,880 Speaker 1: But maybe let me try a plan B. And last 240 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:26,679 Speaker 1: off if that doesn't work, let me try Plan C, 241 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:29,560 Speaker 1: and if all else fails, then I will go to 242 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:30,000 Speaker 1: the TV. 243 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:32,640 Speaker 2: But usually you'll get to. 244 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:34,360 Speaker 1: Plan A or at least Plan B, and you'll feel 245 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,080 Speaker 1: like you'll have got at least a little bit more 246 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,720 Speaker 1: done than you normally would have. So for me, it's like, Okay, 247 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:41,080 Speaker 1: I want to read ten pages of this book, but 248 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,280 Speaker 1: if I feel too sleepy to read and I'm falling asleep, 249 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:46,120 Speaker 1: I'll say, okay, maybe I'll just read five pages. And 250 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:47,880 Speaker 1: if I really can't do that, I'll say, okay, maybe 251 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,240 Speaker 1: I'll listen to an audiobook. And if I can't do that, 252 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:52,520 Speaker 1: I'll say, okay, maybe then I'll just watch a documentary 253 00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:54,880 Speaker 1: of something that I'm really interested in. Maybe I'll watch 254 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 1: the Food Network and watch something where I can learn 255 00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:59,760 Speaker 1: and make get inspiration from for the things that I 256 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,839 Speaker 1: want to me And I'm like, okay, fine, if I 257 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:03,680 Speaker 1: don't want to do that, maybe I'll flick through a 258 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 1: cookbook and I'll plan my meals for next week. And 259 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,120 Speaker 1: so like, I have all these little things that I 260 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:09,360 Speaker 1: know I want to do, and I'll try and stop 261 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:12,280 Speaker 1: them into Plan ABC. Ord also decide in the morning 262 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 1: how you will spend your evening, start prepping your mind 263 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:19,200 Speaker 1: for the evening schedule activities like exercise, reading, even a 264 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:22,720 Speaker 1: mindful reset, and start telling your brain that this is 265 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:25,120 Speaker 1: what we're going to be doing in the evening. Next up, 266 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:29,400 Speaker 1: it's creating friction for distractions. We make our distractions so 267 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:33,720 Speaker 1: readily available to us. They look juicy and tempting constantly. 268 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:37,000 Speaker 1: So really we're just setting ourselves up for failure. And 269 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 1: I know you can relate to the feeling of sitting 270 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 1: down with a book. You're so excited to sit down 271 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,480 Speaker 1: with this book. You start reading a couple of lines, 272 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,480 Speaker 1: and then your phone lights up next to you, and 273 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:47,360 Speaker 1: you're like, okay, fine, I'll just check it. 274 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:48,319 Speaker 2: It might be important. 275 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:51,160 Speaker 1: Next thing you know, it's been an hour and you've 276 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:53,600 Speaker 1: only made it to chapter one, line two, but you've 277 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:57,400 Speaker 1: scrolled through one hundred reels. So ideally, leave all your 278 00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:00,400 Speaker 1: distractions in another room. Create an area in also on 279 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:03,000 Speaker 1: your flat, or in a little space, a little pillow 280 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 1: where you know when you're sitting on it, you will 281 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,040 Speaker 1: not be touching your phone. We have that in our 282 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:10,680 Speaker 1: meditation era. We really try to not take any devices 283 00:13:10,679 --> 00:13:12,760 Speaker 1: into there. Sometimes I fail, but. 284 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:14,560 Speaker 2: The idea is there. 285 00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:17,800 Speaker 1: Let's not take any devices into our meditation area, and 286 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,400 Speaker 1: therefore we create a sacred space where we know we're 287 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:23,600 Speaker 1: just connecting to our meditation practice there. And it can 288 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:24,839 Speaker 1: be the same for the things that you want to 289 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,360 Speaker 1: do in the evening, whether it's writing something you just 290 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:29,880 Speaker 1: have the pen and the paper there, or whether it's 291 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,480 Speaker 1: reading something and you just have your book there. So 292 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,320 Speaker 1: ideally put your phone in another room, or at least 293 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,120 Speaker 1: on do not disturb so you don't constantly have those 294 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:38,880 Speaker 1: notifications popping up and trying to distruct you. I also 295 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 1: read about something called identity based habits, and it says 296 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 1: that we're more likely to stick to our new habits 297 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:47,280 Speaker 1: if they align with how we see ourselves. So instead 298 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,920 Speaker 1: of saying I should read instead of scrolling, say I'm 299 00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:51,840 Speaker 1: the kind of person who likes to read in the evenings. 300 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:55,000 Speaker 1: It's almost like creating this personality that you want to become, 301 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,560 Speaker 1: rather than saying that you should or shouldn't do something. 302 00:13:57,720 --> 00:13:59,560 Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, I'm the kind of person who reads 303 00:13:59,559 --> 00:14:01,600 Speaker 1: every day. I'm the kind of person who plans had 304 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,720 Speaker 1: dreams in the evening. And so you almost like start 305 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,000 Speaker 1: to identify with this new narrative that you want to 306 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:08,280 Speaker 1: create next up. 307 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,079 Speaker 2: If all fails, bargain with yourself. 308 00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:13,120 Speaker 1: Okay, we all love a good negotiation, and tell yourself 309 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,080 Speaker 1: you'll do twenty minutes of the thing that you want 310 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,480 Speaker 1: to do, and then you can wedge out and do 311 00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:20,600 Speaker 1: absolutely nothing. Usually when I tell myself that, I'll actually 312 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:22,560 Speaker 1: end up getting into it and spending way longer than 313 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,440 Speaker 1: I said. So I'll be like, Okay, you only have 314 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:26,640 Speaker 1: to read five pages, So I'll read the five pages, 315 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:29,440 Speaker 1: then I'll read another five, then I read another vibe. 316 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:31,400 Speaker 1: It really doesn't have to be your whole evening that 317 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:35,280 Speaker 1: you're spending doing these things that are life changing. You 318 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:37,040 Speaker 1: can decide that you only want to spend half an 319 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,760 Speaker 1: hour or an hour that you dedicate to these things, 320 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,040 Speaker 1: and then the rest of the time is free for 321 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:44,360 Speaker 1: you to do whatever else you want, including watching TV. 322 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:48,960 Speaker 1: Habit stacking one of my favorite ones. Okay, so I've 323 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,920 Speaker 1: gotten into this habit. Every single day I'm like, I 324 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:54,000 Speaker 1: want to walk more, and sometimes I don't want to 325 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,520 Speaker 1: walk at night my body is physically tired. I usually 326 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,200 Speaker 1: have my workout in the morning, but then I also 327 00:14:58,280 --> 00:14:59,920 Speaker 1: know I want to try and get ten thousand steps in. 328 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,600 Speaker 1: So what I've started doing is I have to work 329 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,880 Speaker 1: a lot on my laptop when I'm writing or writing 330 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:08,200 Speaker 1: for episodes like this, and so I've started doing a 331 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,840 Speaker 1: minimum of sixty minutes every single day after I eat lunch. 332 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,400 Speaker 1: I've got a treadmill and I've got a little working 333 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,960 Speaker 1: desk that you can put on top of the treadmill. 334 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,160 Speaker 1: I can put my laptop and I can actually write 335 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:20,400 Speaker 1: while I work, and I absolutely love it. Sixty minutes 336 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:23,160 Speaker 1: tends into ninety sometimes it turns into two hours that 337 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:26,520 Speaker 1: I'm walking and working. And let me tell you, I 338 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:30,280 Speaker 1: get so much creative juice flowing just by walking. And 339 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:33,800 Speaker 1: I think there's something too doing an activity or while 340 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,640 Speaker 1: you're also trying to think, because I think it removes 341 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:39,840 Speaker 1: distractions because you're already doing two things at once. But also, 342 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:44,280 Speaker 1: I truly believe in physical movements stimulating mental movement, and 343 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:48,120 Speaker 1: so when you're physically moving, it's also like you get endorphins, 344 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:51,560 Speaker 1: your adrenaliness pumping, and more oxygen is flowing in your body, 345 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,440 Speaker 1: and actually it makes it so much so it makes 346 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:56,840 Speaker 1: me so much more productive. So habit stacking is essentially 347 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,120 Speaker 1: adding something new with something that you already do. So 348 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:04,240 Speaker 1: you're anchoring new habits to existing ones, which makes it 349 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,480 Speaker 1: easier to essentially add into your routine. You don't feel 350 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:10,680 Speaker 1: like you're having to take out extra time to do it. So, 351 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:12,360 Speaker 1: for example, if you want to listen to a podcast, 352 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,440 Speaker 1: you might do it while you're washing dishes, fifteen minutes 353 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:18,200 Speaker 1: of it. If you like to walk and you're already 354 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,640 Speaker 1: on the treadmill and you want to read a book, 355 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:24,320 Speaker 1: maybe you have your iPad up on your treadmill while 356 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:27,160 Speaker 1: you're reading, I mean while you're walking. I really find 357 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:30,760 Speaker 1: that's helpful because you're already doing something anyway, and so 358 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:32,520 Speaker 1: you're just adding it into the time period that you 359 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:35,280 Speaker 1: would usually do that. One thing, like given in the morning, 360 00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:37,240 Speaker 1: I'll brush my teeth, but at the same time, I'll 361 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:39,240 Speaker 1: step on my Mama Matt. If I thought about doing 362 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:41,120 Speaker 1: that rundom me throughout the day, it probably wouldn't happen. 363 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:43,080 Speaker 1: But I'm brushing my teeth, and when I'm brushing my teeth, 364 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,000 Speaker 1: I'm standing on my Mama Matt, and so two things 365 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,480 Speaker 1: get done at once, which also makes you feel really efficient. 366 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:51,200 Speaker 1: The next thing I've gotten really into is intentional entertainment 367 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,040 Speaker 1: and what I mean by that is what I was 368 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:57,320 Speaker 1: saying before choosing entertainment with intention, which also prevents you 369 00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:00,360 Speaker 1: from feeling guilty from watching and also kind of stops 370 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:03,280 Speaker 1: you from overwatching, because eventually you get tired of watching 371 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:06,960 Speaker 1: things like documentaries or things that are actually educational because 372 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:08,520 Speaker 1: you have to use your brain for it. And so 373 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,240 Speaker 1: instead of default scrolling, you could pick one meaningful show, 374 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,919 Speaker 1: a movie, or online class to watch. Also setting a 375 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:16,919 Speaker 1: timer to limit your consumption. It is called consumption for 376 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:20,720 Speaker 1: a reason. It consumes you. And so whether it's Netflix, 377 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:26,280 Speaker 1: whether it is any kind of online platform, is made 378 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,879 Speaker 1: to keep you hooked, to keep you watching. 379 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,360 Speaker 2: Oh do you like this show? You might like this one, 380 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:32,480 Speaker 2: this one, and this one. 381 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:36,960 Speaker 1: It is called consumption for a reason because it consumes you. 382 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,920 Speaker 1: Set a timer because, let me tell you, one show 383 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:43,000 Speaker 1: will turn into five. It's not called binge watching for 384 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,120 Speaker 1: no reason. You will sit there and you will end 385 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:48,480 Speaker 1: up binging, and hours and hours will pass. And so 386 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,480 Speaker 1: make a choice to just say, hey, I'm watching this 387 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,600 Speaker 1: for an hour, and that is it. No matter whether 388 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,919 Speaker 1: I get through an episode or not, an hour is 389 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:59,440 Speaker 1: my limits, and then switch to another activity afterwards. Another 390 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:03,399 Speaker 1: thing I absolutely love that has helped me accountable for 391 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:06,240 Speaker 1: my reading in the evening is accountability Partners. 392 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:08,000 Speaker 2: I now have a WhatsApp group. 393 00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:09,919 Speaker 1: It's kind of like a book club, but really we 394 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:13,200 Speaker 1: just share accountability by sending tics or checkmarks every single 395 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:16,119 Speaker 1: day that we read. And then people will be like, oh, 396 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:17,960 Speaker 1: I'm really struggling right now. I didn't make it through. 397 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,920 Speaker 1: I'm still catching up, and so you kind of get 398 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:23,080 Speaker 1: to see you get people. You feel like you're not 399 00:18:23,119 --> 00:18:25,199 Speaker 1: the only one struggling. Number one and number two. It 400 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,480 Speaker 1: also helps when people are sending in their tics, You're like, Okay, 401 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,639 Speaker 1: I really have to do my reading today, so I 402 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:32,320 Speaker 1: also think I need to remind you guys of something. 403 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:35,959 Speaker 1: Our mood and our actions can be separated. And OK, 404 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,280 Speaker 1: here's the deal. Our brains are wired for comfort. 405 00:18:38,359 --> 00:18:39,160 Speaker 2: We know this. 406 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,640 Speaker 1: When you're in a bad mood, your brain says, hey, 407 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:42,959 Speaker 1: let's just skip that workout. 408 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,080 Speaker 2: You don't need it. 409 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,680 Speaker 1: You worked out yesterday, you do not need to move 410 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:50,200 Speaker 1: your body today. Instead, why don't we watch the next 411 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:53,320 Speaker 1: episode of You. It's out and it's going to be 412 00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:55,480 Speaker 1: a wild one. It will feels so much better than that. 413 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,800 Speaker 1: But here's the catch. When you're waiting to feel motivated 414 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:02,359 Speaker 1: before you act. It is an absolute trap. Your mind 415 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,480 Speaker 1: is trapping you. Your mind is trying to keep you 416 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:07,600 Speaker 1: comfortable instead of pushing you, because even if something is 417 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:10,160 Speaker 1: good for you, if it is out of your comfort zone, 418 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,120 Speaker 1: you are going to feel like it is not good 419 00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:13,480 Speaker 1: for you, and your mind is going to try and 420 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,200 Speaker 1: keep you as comfortable as you possibly can, even if 421 00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:18,800 Speaker 1: it's not a good comfort. So most of the time, 422 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:22,400 Speaker 1: action has to come first and then good mood follows. 423 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,160 Speaker 1: So you have to do the thing and your brain 424 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,600 Speaker 1: will catch up later. And when you take these small 425 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:29,520 Speaker 1: positive actions, even if you're not feeling like it, it 426 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,800 Speaker 1: is creating these new patterns, these new pathways that your 427 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,359 Speaker 1: brain didn't realize could exist, and not only didn't know 428 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:38,280 Speaker 1: can exist that you can actually feel good from doing, 429 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:42,760 Speaker 1: and so you cannot wait till you feel something before 430 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,240 Speaker 1: you do it. That is an absolute myth. We can 431 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,040 Speaker 1: get so used to saying, oh, I'm feeling like this, 432 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,040 Speaker 1: or I should just do this tomorrow, but that just 433 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:52,000 Speaker 1: becomes a narrative that we keep telling ourselves to constantly 434 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:55,360 Speaker 1: give way to emotions and postpone important things to tomorrow. 435 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,960 Speaker 1: Tomorrow becomes the next day. And the next, and then 436 00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:01,040 Speaker 1: it just doesn't happen. And so create the pathways that 437 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:02,960 Speaker 1: you want to. And at first, yes, it will be 438 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,600 Speaker 1: difficult to push past the comfort feeling that your mind 439 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,440 Speaker 1: is telling you you need putting yourself into discomfort, But 440 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,680 Speaker 1: as soon as you've taken that one step or done 441 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:15,719 Speaker 1: something differently, once you've already created that pathway, and then 442 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:18,080 Speaker 1: it becomes easier and easier to walk on it. It's 443 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,720 Speaker 1: almost like a path where no one's walked. Eventually someone else, 444 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,800 Speaker 1: someone's footsteps goes there, and then you're like, oh, someone's 445 00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:25,719 Speaker 1: been there, maybe I could do it too. And then 446 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,240 Speaker 1: more people start going, more people start going, and eventually 447 00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:31,040 Speaker 1: the dirt road becomes a full pathway because enough people 448 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:32,920 Speaker 1: have stepped on it. And so that's exactly what you're 449 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:35,760 Speaker 1: doing for yourself. You're actually, yes, the first time will 450 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,880 Speaker 1: be difficult going through the forest and all the leaves 451 00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:41,080 Speaker 1: and all the mud on the floor, But the second, 452 00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:43,760 Speaker 1: the third, the fourth, the fifth time, just making it 453 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:45,240 Speaker 1: an easier pathway for you. 454 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:46,000 Speaker 2: To keep following. 455 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,639 Speaker 1: And you know what, sometimes I put things online people 456 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:52,560 Speaker 1: like you just need to relax. Can't some parts of 457 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:53,880 Speaker 1: life just be unintentional? 458 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:54,399 Speaker 2: And free. 459 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, of course it can be, but it really just 460 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,639 Speaker 1: depends on how deeply you want to be or do 461 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:01,000 Speaker 1: what you're saying you want to be or do. So 462 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,680 Speaker 1: it's not wrong to have unintentional moments, but if your 463 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,359 Speaker 1: deep intention is to reach your goal or to start 464 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 1: something or to finish something, then actually every single moment 465 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:14,320 Speaker 1: of intention does matter. So yes, you can have unintentional moments, 466 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,840 Speaker 1: but the more unintentional moments you have, the slower it 467 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,560 Speaker 1: will take for you to reach your goal, and the 468 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:21,400 Speaker 1: less likely it will take for you to reach your goal. 469 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,119 Speaker 1: The more steps that you take towards something, the closer 470 00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:25,919 Speaker 1: you're going to get to it. The more time you 471 00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,840 Speaker 1: spend taking those steps, the further you will go each time. 472 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,520 Speaker 1: So really and truly, it just depends how much do 473 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,600 Speaker 1: I want to do the thing and how fast do 474 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,760 Speaker 1: I want it to happen, And that should really help 475 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,480 Speaker 1: you to decide how many evenings you want to spend 476 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,280 Speaker 1: watching TV, how many hours a night you want to 477 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,280 Speaker 1: spend doing the thing you want to do, And it 478 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,040 Speaker 1: really does just put things into perspective. Sometimes you also 479 00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:48,080 Speaker 1: just have to learn how to disrupt the pattern. You 480 00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:50,320 Speaker 1: have to change your regular routine. So if you're used 481 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:53,240 Speaker 1: to finishing work and going to the sofa, mix it 482 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,679 Speaker 1: up again. This is to do with patterns. Go to 483 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:57,760 Speaker 1: another room straight away instead, do not go into the 484 00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:01,159 Speaker 1: room where your TV is the space to go to 485 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,600 Speaker 1: where you've already got your setup ready. And so it 486 00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:07,359 Speaker 1: creates this new routine and you already have a separate 487 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:09,600 Speaker 1: space where you're not used to going and doing that 488 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:11,800 Speaker 1: activity you don't want to do. You says to break 489 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:14,520 Speaker 1: the pattern of what your in habit of doing. Look, 490 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,119 Speaker 1: at the end of the day, these are all the 491 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:19,440 Speaker 1: little tips and tricks that you can do to try 492 00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:22,880 Speaker 1: and help you break out of your routine. Whether it's 493 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:27,680 Speaker 1: habit stacking, whether it's creating new environments, whether it is 494 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:31,080 Speaker 1: getting out of your comfort zone or planning and setting 495 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,399 Speaker 1: yourself up for success. And I've told you all of 496 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,359 Speaker 1: it in theory, but this really is a proof in 497 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:36,400 Speaker 1: the putting situation. 498 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:38,840 Speaker 2: There's only so much that I can tell. 499 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,400 Speaker 1: You and that you know theoretically before you just tried 500 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,320 Speaker 1: and experience it for yourself. And so I've given you 501 00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:46,680 Speaker 1: the theory and I've given you my experience of it, 502 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:49,359 Speaker 1: but you have to just give it a go. Yourself, 503 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:51,880 Speaker 1: and I guarantee you you will not regret it. There's 504 00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:53,280 Speaker 1: no part of me that says, oh, I wish I 505 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:55,240 Speaker 1: hadn't read this book, or I wish I hadn't spent 506 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,720 Speaker 1: my night reading this and learning something. 507 00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:59,320 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I'm just so much smarter. 508 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,240 Speaker 1: How awful, Oh, oh my gosh, this has given me a 509 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:03,080 Speaker 1: new perspective to life. 510 00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:03,720 Speaker 2: How awful. 511 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:07,480 Speaker 1: But I have binge watched some Love Island and thought, oh, 512 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,240 Speaker 1: why the flip did I do that? So either you 513 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,280 Speaker 1: can learn from my experience or you can create your own. 514 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:16,160 Speaker 1: But I guarantee you will not regret not wasting your evenings. 515 00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:18,320 Speaker 1: Hope you have a wonderful day. Hope you have a 516 00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:21,119 Speaker 1: wonderful evening wherever you are listening from. Thank you so 517 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:24,359 Speaker 1: much and let me know if this helped you, and 518 00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:28,280 Speaker 1: if you do end up breaking free of your usual 519 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:31,720 Speaker 1: evening pattern. I would love to hear your stories and 520 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,120 Speaker 1: can't wait to see what you will decide to achieve 521 00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:36,199 Speaker 1: with all your extra days that you will have and 522 00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:38,720 Speaker 1: extra hours in the evening.