WEBVTT - Cyberstalking: A Growing Epidemic 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:02.720 Hey, fam I'm Jada Pinkett Smith and this is the 0:00:02.759 --> 0:00:06.120 Red Table Pop podcast, all your favorite episodes from the 0:00:06.120 --> 0:00:10.239 Facebook watch show in audio produced by Westbrook Audio and 0:00:10.360 --> 0:00:13.360 I Heart Radio. Please don't forget to rate and review 0:00:13.680 --> 0:00:16.680 on Apple Podcasts. We are coming to the table with 0:00:16.760 --> 0:00:21.680 an important warning. Cyber starking has hit home from my family. 0:00:22.000 --> 0:00:24.680 He actually came to my house and broke in while 0:00:24.680 --> 0:00:27.720 we were away. He was a pedophile. That was scary. 0:00:28.240 --> 0:00:31.560 My niece Jade is being tormented. She was just basically 0:00:31.640 --> 0:00:35.320 threatening me, stalking me. By the past eight plus years 0:00:35.880 --> 0:00:40.519 since COVID, this alarming issue has risen over seven The 0:00:40.560 --> 0:00:44.200 amount of information that can be used to target somebody 0:00:44.600 --> 0:00:48.000 is overwhelming. I got a random message saying I've got 0:00:48.080 --> 0:00:52.159 naked pictures of you. They sent extremely dangerous people to 0:00:52.200 --> 0:00:58.120 my home to do unspeakable harm to my family. Well, 0:00:58.160 --> 0:00:59.720 the first thing, the most important thing you can do, 0:00:59.840 --> 0:01:05.399 is oh, you just cracked the case wide open from 0:01:05.440 --> 0:01:15.720 my mind. We're sharing a frightening incident that's recently happened 0:01:15.760 --> 0:01:20.560 in our family. You had a situation, yeah, um, yeah, 0:01:20.840 --> 0:01:24.759 cyber stalking turned into real life stalking. Yeah. I'm used 0:01:24.800 --> 0:01:28.520 to people saying things online. I'm used to having thousands 0:01:28.520 --> 0:01:32.680 and thousands of people with not very good things to say. 0:01:32.720 --> 0:01:36.240 I've been cyber bullied for my whole life. Cyber stalking 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:40.520 is a little bit more insidious and scary because it's 0:01:40.560 --> 0:01:43.679 like checking the GEO tags on your photos and they're like, 0:01:43.760 --> 0:01:46.280 where do they go for their Christmas vacations? Where did 0:01:46.280 --> 0:01:48.200 they go with their family when they're over here. They're 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:51.920 watching all of your social media accounts to see what 0:01:52.040 --> 0:01:55.600 your movements are. And this guy was doing that to me, 0:01:56.000 --> 0:01:57.560 and he was doing that to me for a couple 0:01:57.600 --> 0:02:02.400 of years. Actually, he basically got my patterns. During December 0:02:02.520 --> 0:02:06.920 when we were gone for family vacation. He actually came 0:02:06.960 --> 0:02:10.840 to my house and broke in while we were away. Yeah, crazy, 0:02:11.080 --> 0:02:14.160 crazy times crazy justin up waiting for you to come 0:02:14.240 --> 0:02:17.919 home and found a little camp behind the house. Thank 0:02:17.960 --> 0:02:21.160 god I wasn't there. That was scary. It was scary. 0:02:21.400 --> 0:02:25.080 We caught him exactly. There was footage on the cameras 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:28.680 that was a physical trespassing situation, and he had priors. 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:32.360 His priors were scary. Um he was a pedophile. So 0:02:32.400 --> 0:02:34.680 I ended up having to go to court and testify 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:38.680 about it. They only gave me like a certain amount 0:02:38.680 --> 0:02:41.680 of time for a restraining order. I wanted to extend it, 0:02:41.720 --> 0:02:43.440 but for some reason they said that I couldn't and 0:02:43.480 --> 0:02:45.519 I would have to testify again. I would have to 0:02:45.560 --> 0:02:47.720 come back to court again. Well, the good thing is 0:02:47.960 --> 0:02:51.240 he is in custody. So how did you feel going 0:02:51.320 --> 0:02:55.720 back to your home though? Did you feel besides just 0:02:55.840 --> 0:03:04.400 feeling violated, were you fearful? Um? I mean yeah, I wash, 0:03:05.120 --> 0:03:08.560 but my mind is very extreme, and so it was 0:03:08.560 --> 0:03:10.720 almost like, okay, like you're going to be scared, just leave. 0:03:10.800 --> 0:03:13.880 Then it's either leave or stay. There's no in between. 0:03:14.080 --> 0:03:17.360 We went in and shored everything up. We shored it up. 0:03:17.600 --> 0:03:22.320 We got you loaded and protected. Once they got all 0:03:22.360 --> 0:03:24.560 the evidence that they needed from inside, we had to 0:03:24.600 --> 0:03:26.640 take all the stuff out the refrigerator because we were 0:03:26.680 --> 0:03:29.600 afraid maybe he put something in the drinks or in 0:03:29.639 --> 0:03:31.800 her food to knock her out or you know, like 0:03:31.840 --> 0:03:34.800 we had to go through everything, toothpaste, everything, everything in 0:03:34.800 --> 0:03:36.600 the house had to go. And I wouldn't have thought 0:03:36.600 --> 0:03:39.840 about Yeah we went, Yeah, we did. We went in events, 0:03:39.920 --> 0:03:41.480 we did all like because we didn't know if he 0:03:41.560 --> 0:03:44.400 put cameras up like we didn't. We had to like 0:03:44.560 --> 0:03:48.440 really like strip the whole house down, we short her 0:03:48.560 --> 0:03:52.000 up strongly. Did you find the police to be helpful 0:03:52.160 --> 0:03:57.080 in this or I mean from a mother's point of view, 0:03:57.080 --> 0:03:59.880 I would say yes, because they caught him. Yeah, I'm 0:04:00.920 --> 0:04:04.000 they were on it. Now. I'm not happy with the laws. 0:04:04.600 --> 0:04:09.480 I'm hoping at some point laws can be strengthened. In 0:04:09.520 --> 0:04:14.840 regards to cyberstock, yeah, technology is advancing very very fast, 0:04:14.920 --> 0:04:19.200 faster than law enforcement can keep up. The stuff that 0:04:19.240 --> 0:04:23.400 people can get away with and not have any consequences 0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:29.599 is crazy. My niece, Jade is being tormented by a 0:04:29.640 --> 0:04:33.360 cyber stalker. As an influencer, Jade makes a living by 0:04:33.440 --> 0:04:37.240 having a strong presence on social media. Jade says, for years, 0:04:37.240 --> 0:04:40.320 someone has been making her life miserable, tracking her every 0:04:40.360 --> 0:04:44.919 move online, harassing her, constantly tagging her friend's boyfriend and exes, 0:04:45.160 --> 0:04:48.800 making upwards of fifty comments per day. As soon as 0:04:48.880 --> 0:04:52.760 Jade blocks her, a new account appears. This weaponization of 0:04:52.800 --> 0:04:55.920 social media has devastated her and she doesn't know how 0:04:55.960 --> 0:04:59.440 to make it stop. This is serious. It's serious business 0:04:59.480 --> 0:05:03.640 out there for everybody. Yeah, so they started to tag 0:05:04.160 --> 0:05:07.839 my ex boyfriend and my current boyfriend on all my pictures, 0:05:08.120 --> 0:05:13.720 all my family's pictures, my business related, all my partnerships 0:05:13.760 --> 0:05:16.920 that I have with friends, going to different people's pages 0:05:17.520 --> 0:05:21.679 and just tagging saying the most hurtful things. My boyfriend 0:05:21.720 --> 0:05:26.279 at the time, he plays football, and they started tagging 0:05:26.360 --> 0:05:30.839 his teammates on his page and all his stuff and 0:05:31.000 --> 0:05:34.120 just saying stuff like what basically just wishing that my 0:05:34.200 --> 0:05:38.840 mom would have swallowed me instead of having me saying that, like, 0:05:38.920 --> 0:05:43.239 you know, yeah, degrading things like oh, you're a home, 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:48.240 You're passed around, You're a liar, just trying to destroy me. 0:05:48.680 --> 0:05:51.680 We have some of the messages sent to you. You've 0:05:51.680 --> 0:05:54.520 been passed around from locker room to locker room, dumb 0:05:54.560 --> 0:05:59.240 groupie home, Okay, you need to get ran through by 0:05:59.360 --> 0:06:03.560 athletes to take care of you when your parents not 0:06:03.640 --> 0:06:07.320 doing it. The biggest hole in the city. And this 0:06:07.400 --> 0:06:11.520 is every single day. And I kind of had an 0:06:11.640 --> 0:06:15.080 idea of who it could be because I only had 0:06:15.120 --> 0:06:17.800 like two friends when I was young, and my grandpa Robs, 0:06:17.800 --> 0:06:19.960 so he passed away when I was in high school. 0:06:20.240 --> 0:06:25.880 They're making so many fake accounts using his name. Robs 0:06:26.080 --> 0:06:30.080 was rolling over in his grave. Rob Sol was disappointed 0:06:30.120 --> 0:06:33.080 in you, like and just so you guys know Russels, 0:06:33.160 --> 0:06:40.240 my father, Willow's granddad gave ms X, so they knew 0:06:40.320 --> 0:06:44.679 him and nobody else knew him. So hurtful and scary 0:06:44.720 --> 0:06:48.520 because my dad grandfather, who would know who my grandpa is? 0:06:49.080 --> 0:06:53.640 So then my family hired a private investigated. Once they 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:56.719 found out who it was, I was like, Wow, it 0:06:56.839 --> 0:06:59.680 was a girl that I was best friends with growing up. 0:06:59.800 --> 0:07:02.560 She was always in competition, had to be the best, 0:07:02.600 --> 0:07:05.680 All the boys had to like her. I remember her, Yeah, 0:07:06.120 --> 0:07:08.680 I know her. I remember her. As we got older, 0:07:08.920 --> 0:07:11.200 I kind of just realized she wasn't a good person. 0:07:11.520 --> 0:07:15.560 She moved away and I kind of just forgot about her, 0:07:15.680 --> 0:07:21.120 and which happens well in relationship. I know she was 0:07:21.160 --> 0:07:25.040 stalking me and my family, all my friends profiles for 0:07:25.120 --> 0:07:30.400 the past eight plus years and y plus eight years years. 0:07:30.760 --> 0:07:37.280 How many fact accounts do you think that she had? Now, Like, yeah, 0:07:37.440 --> 0:07:40.360 it was ridiculous. When I would blocka account, she would 0:07:40.360 --> 0:07:44.000 come back literally five minutes and make another account saying 0:07:44.160 --> 0:07:46.360 oh I can do this all day, and I'm just 0:07:46.400 --> 0:07:49.080 like it just got worse, and the more I ignored her, 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:52.120 the worst it got. So when did it get heightened? 0:07:52.400 --> 0:07:56.400 Once the pandemic started. It was like it was just 0:07:56.440 --> 0:07:59.440 too much time for someone and she just, I think, 0:07:59.520 --> 0:08:03.320 explode it and couldn't contain her emotions and her feelings. 0:08:03.600 --> 0:08:06.040 I think she was making things up in her head 0:08:06.720 --> 0:08:09.720 that I did these things to her just because I 0:08:09.760 --> 0:08:12.160 didn't want to be her friend anymore. I found out 0:08:12.200 --> 0:08:16.840 that she moved out here, back out into Cali after 0:08:17.240 --> 0:08:20.440 eight plus years of not being here, and now she's 0:08:20.560 --> 0:08:23.240 fifteen minutes down the road, and I'm like, wait what. 0:08:24.160 --> 0:08:27.640 And then she reached out to me and she was 0:08:27.680 --> 0:08:31.400 just basically threatening me. Have you confronted her yet? I have. 0:08:31.600 --> 0:08:34.880 I've confronted her and I let her know I knew 0:08:34.880 --> 0:08:39.280 who it was. She denied it, she admitted it. I 0:08:39.320 --> 0:08:41.600 was just like, let's sit down. She didn't want to 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:43.800 sit down, she didn't want to talk. So you were 0:08:43.880 --> 0:08:48.440 just deeply desperate, desperate. She just ended, it's really difficult 0:08:48.440 --> 0:08:52.240 when your social media is the main source of like 0:08:52.600 --> 0:08:55.400 you cut your brand, deals, your income, your career. And 0:08:55.440 --> 0:08:57.600 I'm just like, oh my gosh, this girl is just 0:08:57.600 --> 0:09:01.960 trying to completely sabotage everything. And it's still happening to me. 0:09:02.040 --> 0:09:05.480 I'm still even after confronting her, it's still going. And 0:09:05.640 --> 0:09:08.760 after confronting her, I found out that she worked with kids, 0:09:09.080 --> 0:09:12.320 and I was just like, oh my gosh, you work 0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:15.000 with kids and you're doing this to me every single day. 0:09:15.040 --> 0:09:17.240 Did you ever go to the police? I try to 0:09:17.280 --> 0:09:20.080 get a restraining order? And it was just devastating to 0:09:20.120 --> 0:09:23.200 hear that there was absolutely nothing I could do. It 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:25.719 was just so much that was wearing down on me, 0:09:26.000 --> 0:09:29.760 taking a toll on your mentor your your heart. How 0:09:29.760 --> 0:09:32.080 did you stay out of the space of just wanting 0:09:32.080 --> 0:09:34.520 to get revenged, like you just want to go and 0:09:34.640 --> 0:09:37.560 like so a break through their window or something, you know, 0:09:37.720 --> 0:09:43.720 not seriously, Yeah, I was about to pull up. I'm like, 0:09:45.000 --> 0:09:47.720 I have to do something, Like I can't just sit 0:09:47.800 --> 0:09:50.199 here and just be okay with this. And that's why 0:09:50.240 --> 0:09:54.720 I just want to stress the importance of seek help, 0:09:54.880 --> 0:09:59.440 talk about it like you're not alone exactly. So. Flynn Adam's, 0:09:59.480 --> 0:10:03.679 daughter of gendary actress Jane Seymour, has been traumatized but 0:10:04.000 --> 0:10:08.280 cyber Starkers, who exposed her home address online which led 0:10:08.320 --> 0:10:12.200 to dangerous strangers showing up at our door. Now she's 0:10:12.240 --> 0:10:17.400 devoted her life to stopping it from happening to anyone else. Wow, 0:10:17.559 --> 0:10:21.200 Hi fly welcome. Yeah. So in my situation, and I 0:10:21.280 --> 0:10:23.560 made a very critical mistake that I think a lot 0:10:23.600 --> 0:10:26.520 of people can relate to, which is not accounting for 0:10:26.760 --> 0:10:30.360 how quickly unmanaged abuse incidents like the ones that you're 0:10:30.400 --> 0:10:34.440 experiencing can escalate into very very real threats of violence. 0:10:35.000 --> 0:10:37.640 I was working as a very high ranking executive at 0:10:37.679 --> 0:10:40.120 a at a large technology company. There were two people 0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:44.480 in particular. They were in my universe enough to where 0:10:44.480 --> 0:10:47.960 they knew enough about me to make the attack dangerous. 0:10:48.080 --> 0:10:50.920 And they went right into creating fake accounts pretending to 0:10:50.960 --> 0:10:55.719 be me, um, my husband, other family members, even our businesses. Wow. 0:10:55.960 --> 0:10:58.760 One day, they went so far as to post our 0:10:58.880 --> 0:11:02.400 our home address as a place where they they advertised, 0:11:03.160 --> 0:11:08.040 sorry it's um, it's hard to get through. They impersonated 0:11:08.920 --> 0:11:10.720 me and my family in such a way that they 0:11:10.760 --> 0:11:13.640 suggested that my home was a place to go to 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:21.840 to facilitate certain fantasies. Okay, okay, um they sent extremely 0:11:21.920 --> 0:11:26.520 dangerous people to my home to do unspeakable harm to 0:11:26.520 --> 0:11:29.040 to me and and to my family. So, I mean, 0:11:29.080 --> 0:11:32.840 I can absolutely relate to the fear when you are 0:11:33.080 --> 0:11:36.080 woken up to this reality of oh, my gosh, somebody 0:11:36.080 --> 0:11:39.960 I don't know has intentionally weaponized a piece of technology 0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:43.160 to do harm to me. It wasn't something that I 0:11:43.200 --> 0:11:48.680 had actually considered before that happened. I had direct contact 0:11:48.720 --> 0:11:52.920 to security heads, to legal heads at these platforms where 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:55.920 this was happening, to very high ranking members of law enforcement, 0:11:56.000 --> 0:12:00.720 federally and locally, and very little was done. And to 0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:04.040 this day my situation has not been resolved, not not 0:12:04.160 --> 0:12:06.640 in a meaningful way. What really scared me the most 0:12:06.640 --> 0:12:10.160 and sort of, you know, stop that. The current trajectory 0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:13.960 of my life was this fear that, you know, what 0:12:14.000 --> 0:12:18.240 are you supposed to do to actionably protect yourself? Did 0:12:18.280 --> 0:12:21.160 you find out who the perpetrator it is? And were 0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:25.280 you able to stop it? No? Um, it's it's complicated 0:12:25.320 --> 0:12:28.000 because of the way that law and technology haven't quite 0:12:28.000 --> 0:12:30.520 caught up with each other yet. It's a feedback loop. 0:12:30.559 --> 0:12:32.480 You go to law enforcement, law enforcement tells you go 0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:34.760 to the platform, the platform tells you to go back 0:12:34.800 --> 0:12:38.240 over here. It's just like, yeah, yeah, they just don't understand, Yeah, 0:12:38.320 --> 0:12:40.080 they just they just don't get it. I even had 0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:42.360 to judge tell me that if I didn't like what 0:12:42.400 --> 0:12:44.600 the people said about me, on the internet. I shouldn't 0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:48.360 have a computer, And I thought, like, what we're learning 0:12:48.440 --> 0:12:52.160 is that abuse itself is subjective. You know, everybody experiences 0:12:52.280 --> 0:12:56.040 So yeah, okay, wait, I'm sorry. That was the crux 0:12:56.080 --> 0:12:59.600 of it. Yeah, that was the core. That was the core. 0:13:00.200 --> 0:13:04.920 Subjective is subjective. That is, to me, the key of 0:13:05.200 --> 0:13:08.320 why these things aren't being resolved in the way that 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:12.920 they should. Wow, you just cracked the case. I didn't 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:15.280 think about it like that. Yeah, I mean, you really 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:18.280 got me together that it is subjective. But that's so 0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:21.160 important because you can't take it, you can't take it 0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:23.960 to court, you can't take it anywhere unless you understand 0:13:24.000 --> 0:13:27.360 the thing you're addressing. Have you had an opportunity to 0:13:27.440 --> 0:13:30.040 confront the people that have been doing I never would. 0:13:30.440 --> 0:13:33.400 It's it's it's a different level of danger. So you're 0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:36.240 brave on your part that you have to be careful. 0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:41.240 And I wanted to reach out and say no. So 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:45.040 that was everybody around me telling me stop being communication 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:47.840 with it. She's thriving off of it. She wants you 0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:52.920 to act flim How did this experience impact your personal 0:13:52.960 --> 0:13:57.080 life permanently and forever and ever and ever for the worst. Um, 0:13:57.520 --> 0:14:00.840 I do my best to try to move beyond it. 0:14:00.880 --> 0:14:04.880 But the psychological damage, the emotional consequences of this kind 0:14:04.880 --> 0:14:08.200 of behavior. UM, it has changed the way that I live. 0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:10.600 My house is the most secure thing that you've ever 0:14:10.640 --> 0:14:13.640 been in. UM. I have seventeen different devices that I 0:14:13.720 --> 0:14:16.280 use for different things. It changed the way that I parent. 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:18.600 I've become this kind of HeLa monster. You know. I 0:14:18.600 --> 0:14:20.720 won't let him walk outside, I mean even in our 0:14:20.760 --> 0:14:23.560 own backyard without wanting to know where he is. It's 0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:27.120 sort of like obsessive thinking. Um. And that's sort of 0:14:27.120 --> 0:14:30.160 affected my marriage where I just I could not stop 0:14:30.240 --> 0:14:35.400 thinking about it because what would be some of your 0:14:35.600 --> 0:14:40.600 suggestions in regards to Jade's case. One, always always always 0:14:40.640 --> 0:14:44.320 be your own advocate. Never ever ever let anyone, not 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:47.120 even law enforcement a social media company tell you that 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:51.760 what you're experiencing shouldn't make you feel unsafe. That really 0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:55.040 is your decision. The most critical point is capturing what 0:14:55.360 --> 0:14:59.800 happened to you. Because the first, first, most critical mistake 0:14:59.840 --> 0:15:01.840 that people make. I made it when when I tried 0:15:01.880 --> 0:15:06.080 to resolve my situation, I had brought in screenshots, right, 0:15:06.080 --> 0:15:09.040 which I thought, who doesn't bring in a screenshot? But 0:15:09.120 --> 0:15:13.480 those are not corroborating substantial pieces of evidence. So text 0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:16.360 messages on your phone, yes, if they if they take 0:15:16.400 --> 0:15:19.040 your phone and they audit your phone, if it's from 0:15:19.040 --> 0:15:22.000 the device itself. But if you're screen grabbing things, I 0:15:22.120 --> 0:15:27.440 did that. I have a whole photo album of all 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:31.560 the messages, all the screenshots, So that doesn't mean anything. 0:15:32.520 --> 0:15:34.640 How do I know you didn't photoshop the screen grab? 0:15:36.600 --> 0:15:39.960 So you can't ever delete the text messages from your 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:42.000 phone because you never know when something is going to 0:15:42.080 --> 0:15:44.200 get worse. If I see something I don't like, I 0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:46.360 keep it. If you walked in there with you know, 0:15:46.480 --> 0:15:50.560 ten thousand pages of captures, I mean, this is this 0:15:50.640 --> 0:15:53.600 is a crime. By the way, I mean, people need 0:15:53.640 --> 0:15:57.000 to know you can't use screenshots. That's huge. I really 0:15:57.040 --> 0:16:00.600 do think that we need a daily practices in digital 0:16:00.600 --> 0:16:05.320 safety as an ongoing, evolving course. The amount of information 0:16:05.520 --> 0:16:09.520 that can be used to target somebody is overwhelming. We 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:12.280 worked with Flynn to create a photo that many parents 0:16:12.280 --> 0:16:15.200 are posting these days, especially as children are headed back 0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:18.600 to school. Tell us all the ways this photo is 0:16:18.640 --> 0:16:27.520 revealing personal information. Cream So that's first problem. ABC is 0:16:27.600 --> 0:16:31.760 not good. That doesn't seem good. Joy's first day sixth 0:16:31.760 --> 0:16:35.400 grade with his favorite his middle school. You're having so 0:16:35.480 --> 0:16:37.520 much anxiety right now. You're like, oh no, I'm not 0:16:37.720 --> 0:16:40.320 for buddy Billy. So he's going to the sixth grade. 0:16:40.360 --> 0:16:43.960 His name is Joey, he plays soccer, and his best 0:16:44.000 --> 0:16:46.800 friend's name is Billy, and he goes to North Middle School. 0:16:46.840 --> 0:16:51.120 All of that information, yep, you got it. All of 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:53.960 that information. As a general rule, you have to be 0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:57.960 conscious of a thing called the current. Now never never 0:16:58.280 --> 0:17:01.480 never tell anyone where you're at the time that you're 0:17:01.560 --> 0:17:05.080 damage because if you are being stalked, um, it just 0:17:05.119 --> 0:17:08.040 takes yet. And then also be aware of what's behind you. 0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:09.720 Is that you know you're a picture of the rest 0:17:09.720 --> 0:17:12.399 of your family. Are you holding something? If your child 0:17:12.480 --> 0:17:14.879 is holding his favorite toy you mentioned you know this 0:17:14.960 --> 0:17:17.840 is Bobby's favorite bear, you know whatever it's called. Right, 0:17:18.000 --> 0:17:20.119 you have to be very careful not just about the 0:17:20.119 --> 0:17:22.720 photo but about the content. The more data you give, 0:17:23.160 --> 0:17:27.480 the more ammunition you're giving somebody attack you because all 0:17:27.560 --> 0:17:32.120 that information right there is anything that a pedophile. When 0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:37.800 you need to draw Joey or Billy into the car, exactly, 0:17:38.040 --> 0:17:40.360 We're gonna go to ABC ice Cream and meet your 0:17:40.400 --> 0:17:45.080 mom there. Yep, Yeah, Bobby's waiting for you. Yeah, Bobby's 0:17:45.160 --> 0:17:49.400 waiting for you. It happens like that in a second. 0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:53.280 And we see it so often with identifying information and photographs, 0:17:53.320 --> 0:17:56.280 whether it's you know, telling people that you're on vacation, 0:17:56.840 --> 0:18:00.600 or taking pictures even in your home, revealing pictures of 0:18:00.760 --> 0:18:03.080 the children's room. So now I have insight into what 0:18:03.160 --> 0:18:06.080 your child likes, what they do, what their preferences are. 0:18:06.280 --> 0:18:10.359 It's so sad because the average person is just excited 0:18:10.440 --> 0:18:13.080 their kid is going to school. My nieces and nephews 0:18:13.480 --> 0:18:16.440 are posting pictures of their kids. They're they're happy they're 0:18:16.440 --> 0:18:19.600 back in school. They're showing pictures. Nobody is thinking about that, 0:18:19.840 --> 0:18:22.560 which is why it's always so important to remember that 0:18:22.680 --> 0:18:26.760 accountability for dangerous behavior is a two way street. You 0:18:26.840 --> 0:18:30.399 have to be proactive in your own practices. This is 0:18:30.440 --> 0:18:34.119 the kind of stuff, you know, you got to really 0:18:34.200 --> 0:18:36.520 be aware of. I took a picture of you the 0:18:36.560 --> 0:18:39.440 other day, and I zoomed it because I was like, wow, 0:18:40.119 --> 0:18:44.440 somebody could look at this fine figure out where you were. 0:18:45.640 --> 0:18:48.040 So I made it super super close so that it 0:18:48.119 --> 0:18:52.400 was just you and you couldn't tell anything about the background, 0:18:52.800 --> 0:18:54.560 and I caught it because I was like, wait a minute, 0:18:54.600 --> 0:18:58.080 this is very distinctive. I looked at this picture and 0:18:58.119 --> 0:19:00.720 I wanted to know where she was. You could figure it. 0:19:00.840 --> 0:19:04.359 I could figure this out. It's incredibly dangerous. If you 0:19:04.359 --> 0:19:06.160 don't want something on the Internet, don't put it there. 0:19:06.720 --> 0:19:09.000 And I will tell you this too. I'm a data scientist, 0:19:09.000 --> 0:19:12.320 so I love data. We're beyond the point of people 0:19:12.320 --> 0:19:14.480 saying we'll just get off the platform. The world is 0:19:14.520 --> 0:19:17.000 connected in a way that it's never been connected before, 0:19:19.280 --> 0:19:22.119 such a median or to get your business to thrive. 0:19:23.040 --> 0:19:26.199 It is part of our lives. Flynn, I feel like 0:19:26.240 --> 0:19:30.960 you need to teach a class. I agree, that's so important. 0:19:31.600 --> 0:19:34.480 Ashley Reynolds was a victim of an extreme type of 0:19:34.520 --> 0:19:40.320 cyberstalking called sex stortion, blackmailed by a complete stranger, tricked 0:19:40.320 --> 0:19:45.240 and con into sending neked photos as she found herself 0:19:45.440 --> 0:19:48.360 at the center of one of the biggest sextortion cases 0:19:48.440 --> 0:19:53.520 in history. I've always been a normal kid. You know, 0:19:53.560 --> 0:19:57.159 I'm your everyday girl. Around fourteen years old. I just 0:19:57.200 --> 0:19:59.359 finished my freshman year of high school. I got a 0:19:59.440 --> 0:20:03.080 random sage saying all caps lock in subject mind. I've 0:20:03.080 --> 0:20:05.359 got naked pictures of you. Opened this and I was like, 0:20:05.400 --> 0:20:08.119 I've never sent naked picture to like anyone, like I 0:20:08.160 --> 0:20:13.280 grew up literally being likes. So I brushed it aside. 0:20:13.280 --> 0:20:15.359 And then I got another message from the same person 0:20:16.000 --> 0:20:19.760 and still brushed it aside. Then I was at my 0:20:19.800 --> 0:20:22.600 aunt's house and I get a text saying, you can't 0:20:22.640 --> 0:20:24.840 be ignoring me because you need to send me seven 0:20:24.920 --> 0:20:27.040 naked pictures or I'm going to send all of your 0:20:27.080 --> 0:20:29.439 friends these pictures. And I was like, you don't have 0:20:29.440 --> 0:20:31.960 anything of me, and so I put up a fight, 0:20:32.320 --> 0:20:34.200 but it got to the point where he got into 0:20:34.240 --> 0:20:38.000 my head, like psychologically he was relentless, and I kind 0:20:38.040 --> 0:20:40.280 of just gave in. And that's when the fourteen year 0:20:40.320 --> 0:20:42.439 old inside of me thought I could just handle it. 0:20:42.480 --> 0:20:44.359 And I was like, fine, you know what, I'm going 0:20:44.400 --> 0:20:46.680 to take these pictures. I'm going to send it because 0:20:46.720 --> 0:20:49.199 that's what I thought would be the only way to 0:20:49.240 --> 0:20:51.760 get him off my back. It doesn't make sense, but 0:20:51.880 --> 0:20:55.640 like I was fourteen, I have a completely different mindset. Yeah, 0:20:55.720 --> 0:20:57.760 and I like, you don't want to tell anyone because 0:20:57.760 --> 0:20:59.840 you're like, what if I'm getting one of its literally 0:21:00.080 --> 0:21:03.000 excused myself went to the restroom. I was like, I'll 0:21:03.040 --> 0:21:05.880 send these pictures and be done. Once I sent those 0:21:05.920 --> 0:21:08.720 seven pictures, that's when I knew for a fact he 0:21:08.720 --> 0:21:10.720 had naked pictures of me, and that was where he 0:21:10.760 --> 0:21:14.040 got his leverage from. So what started off with those 0:21:14.200 --> 0:21:16.800 seven naked pictures he wanted that first night that I 0:21:16.840 --> 0:21:20.240 actually complied, it actually turned into I was sending over 0:21:20.520 --> 0:21:23.840 sixty naked pictures of myself every single night. It wasn't 0:21:23.880 --> 0:21:26.680 like every once a week, it was every single night. 0:21:26.800 --> 0:21:29.000 He had a list. It was to of cover your chest. 0:21:29.119 --> 0:21:31.280 It started it starts off slow, keep your shirt on. 0:21:31.560 --> 0:21:34.200 It turned into cover this and then expose yourself, and 0:21:34.240 --> 0:21:37.280 then it turns into like hearing and finding out things 0:21:37.320 --> 0:21:39.199 like I didn't even know existed that I had to 0:21:39.240 --> 0:21:41.879 do to myself. And so yeah, and it was like 0:21:41.960 --> 0:21:44.280 if I didn't send him what he wanted, he was 0:21:44.320 --> 0:21:47.520 going to basically send what he had to like my friends. 0:21:47.520 --> 0:21:49.399 And he showed that he would do it because he 0:21:49.840 --> 0:21:55.320 actually sent um a couple of pictures. And so I 0:21:55.359 --> 0:21:58.560 spent my fifteen birthday in my bedroom with the door 0:21:58.640 --> 0:22:02.119 shut taking pictures of myself. So he basically was telling you, 0:22:02.400 --> 0:22:05.040 I have pictures of you, but if you don't send 0:22:05.040 --> 0:22:09.800 me more, then I'm going to release the ones that have. Yeah, 0:22:09.880 --> 0:22:11.920 it got to the point where he started to want 0:22:11.960 --> 0:22:15.199 me to send him videos of myself and wanted me 0:22:15.240 --> 0:22:17.760 to like do stuff that way. Were you're just so 0:22:17.800 --> 0:22:20.720 afraid that you felt like you couldn't tell your parents? Yeah, 0:22:20.920 --> 0:22:23.080 I remember hearing on the news and I'm saying, like, 0:22:23.320 --> 0:22:25.359 you know, you could go to jail for sexting, and 0:22:25.400 --> 0:22:27.480 I was like, so like, why would I want to 0:22:27.520 --> 0:22:31.600 come forward with anything we don't understand? Get and sucked in? 0:22:31.840 --> 0:22:36.320 You get the fear and the the steaks are so distorted, 0:22:37.080 --> 0:22:38.880 and it's like you don't want your parents to see 0:22:38.880 --> 0:22:41.320 you in that light, you know, it's like dirty. And 0:22:41.440 --> 0:22:43.320 I feel like, wait, if I say this, are they 0:22:43.320 --> 0:22:45.359 gonna like not even help me. It's more so of 0:22:45.440 --> 0:22:48.240 like not wanting my parents seeming like that. So it's 0:22:48.280 --> 0:22:51.440 like I don't know. But when they first found out, 0:22:51.640 --> 0:22:54.080 I was at a Christian club type of thing and 0:22:54.160 --> 0:22:56.600 my mom sends me a text and she's like, me 0:22:56.600 --> 0:22:58.439 and your dad are picking you up right now. We 0:22:58.560 --> 0:23:01.160 get home in the family come Peter was in their bedroom. 0:23:01.359 --> 0:23:04.679 My mom goes, what's this and I was like, and 0:23:04.680 --> 0:23:06.679 then I was crying because I was afraid that I 0:23:06.720 --> 0:23:08.400 was going to go to jail. It was our party 0:23:08.600 --> 0:23:11.000 that was relieved that your parents, Oh my gosh. Yeah, 0:23:11.200 --> 0:23:13.520 and then my mom called the National Center of Missing 0:23:13.560 --> 0:23:17.240 and Exploited Children. They're the ones that got the FBI involved. 0:23:17.480 --> 0:23:20.760 I was the whistleblower on my case. So what started 0:23:20.760 --> 0:23:24.359