Speaker 1: Wine down with Jane Kramer, and I heard radio podcast
Speaker 1: had a little technical difficulties to start this podcast, which
Speaker 1: made me wonder do we do a question and answer podcast?
Speaker 1: Was that God's way of saying you know what you
Speaker 1: just need? I was already in my car headed home,
Speaker 1: so I felt like that was fine. I took the
Speaker 1: sign and we're out. Oh hey Chris, Hi, Hey Chris.
Speaker 1: Do you hate when people shorten your name? No? I
Speaker 1: love Chris. I think it's cute. Really, I think Kris
Speaker 1: Jenner actually did it for me. Do you know she's
Speaker 1: a Kristen? Really? I thought she was Chris No this
Speaker 1: entire time. I thought, I'm pretty positive false information. I'm
Speaker 1: probably putting it out there like Google. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think she's Kristen. So she made it hot to me. Wow, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think Chris is actually cute. You know, I think
Speaker 1: it's so cute. But I used to get so annoyed
Speaker 1: with my friend Rachel. I'm sorry if you're listening, but
Speaker 1: she loved to shorten people's names, like loved it. What
Speaker 1: were you Joe? Jan? No, No, that doesn't count. She
Speaker 1: just put a different vowel at the end. I was like, no, no,
Speaker 1: I was like I was because she was like least
Speaker 1: odd Chell, you know, Jen, who are the other girls
Speaker 1: in our group? Ash or whatever, and she'd be like Jan,
Speaker 1: I ah, stop it right there, like the plastics, stop
Speaker 1: trying to But yeah, I know that was but I
Speaker 1: never really got to. Some people just called me like Ray,
Speaker 1: So I really love that. I call you Ray. I
Speaker 1: kind of think it's cute. Okay, you guys live with
Speaker 1: Chris and Ray is the most basic conversation. Maybe we
Speaker 1: should do that. We should just go by our nicknames
Speaker 1: day because truly, that's like when we answer question answered,
Speaker 1: it's not really us, it's it's like a bar name. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like a bar name. It's not really from Janna
Speaker 1: and Chris, and it's from I'll tell you what Chris
Speaker 1: would say? What would Ray do? Yeah? I love it.
Speaker 1: We also have Mark on I want a cool name. Okay, um,
Speaker 1: but do people call you Marky, Marky, Marcus, Marky mark
Speaker 1: a lot? I know I wanted to original. Yeah, no, Marco.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of variations to Mark. You can't really
Speaker 1: say mark. It was mar is not great. Can you
Speaker 1: be like M money or M Ditty or something, M diggity,
Speaker 1: no doubt. But that's a hard one to to like
Speaker 1: because our names are only four letters, so it's like
Speaker 1: those are our names are hard to like make a
Speaker 1: nickname or like not a nickname but shortened like a
Speaker 1: Chris with a Kristen. Well. I also just like you
Speaker 1: could be J and I think that's so cute. Love J.
Speaker 1: I know, love J the name to clarify, Oh, you
Speaker 1: have quite a history, Cramer. I gotta keep these nice
Speaker 1: and clean, the boundaries nice and clean it now there
Speaker 1: was never any love there, yes, and moving forward quickly. Well,
Speaker 1: she is Kristen Mary Jenner. And also I don't think
Speaker 1: you should blame God for you keeping the volume down
Speaker 1: on your computer. I think that's on you. And we
Speaker 1: should do a Q and A and we should not
Speaker 1: second guess it. Okay, okay um does what was his nickname?
Speaker 1: We have to give him niame. I was gonna say
Speaker 1: Marky Mark, but that's you can't do that because that's Walburg.
Speaker 1: I like like M dog or M diggity. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know, Like, who do you want to be? Mark? M?
Speaker 1: Who have you always wanted to be? About that? What
Speaker 1: your last name? Last name is Molnitsky, which is complicated her.
Speaker 1: I used to get a lot a lot of people
Speaker 1: called me mo or Mr Mo. What about Ni? I
Speaker 1: don't know what you're saying, Hey, ski about Mark Mo?
Speaker 1: Mo money. I think you're stalling at this point because
Speaker 1: you're scared of the questions. You're about like, we're going
Speaker 1: to go a ski? Alright, ski like whatever? Answer questions? Alright,
Speaker 1: but we got well, we've got them in different categories.
Speaker 1: Can we pick the category? Can I just say that
Speaker 1: I feel unsafe because I thought we would have the
Speaker 1: questions and we could look at each other and say
Speaker 1: yes or no, And so you, being the keeper is
Speaker 1: making me feel anxious. I just got a little naxious.
Speaker 1: Not gonna lie. Well, let me give you the categories. First,
Speaker 1: mom questions, dating questions, sex questions, here for it, friendship questions,
Speaker 1: and one more, the forbidden questions. The forbidden questions are
Speaker 1: ones we do not think you will answer and may
Speaker 1: just ask me to edit them out of the whole show,
Speaker 1: which is fine. But we do have a fifth category
Speaker 1: called asking sometimes to edit things. Um, okay, well, I
Speaker 1: feel like a lot of these categor I'm just sitting down. Yes,
Speaker 1: I thought that was the idea of the Q and
Speaker 1: I episode was drinks. I mean, Chris and I would
Speaker 1: have a glass if you want a glass? Or is
Speaker 1: it too early blood work because I'm forty and I
Speaker 1: need my hormone. That's a question. Alrey, Fine, we'll do
Speaker 1: this stone colts over. Um, let's start with let's go
Speaker 1: like light. I don't want to go for abidd and
Speaker 1: yet let's go with friendship for one hundred marks. Here
Speaker 1: we go. Let's see. Okay, Uh, this is from Catherine,
Speaker 1: and you know this is funny. This may actually be
Speaker 1: from Catherine. This is this is planted. The question is
Speaker 1: do you have tips for setting boundaries with a friend
Speaker 1: who always depends on you for advice but never takes it.
Speaker 1: This maybe Catherine, this, this could be It could be
Speaker 1: my alias because I felt this way about Cramer. Tell no,
Speaker 1: I really didn't Oh no, no, um on this episode
Speaker 1: of Chris and Janna gett No, it's raining, Chris, Um no,
Speaker 1: tell me talk to me. No. I was just kidding.
Speaker 1: I really do feel like you took my advice, but like,
Speaker 1: go for it. Um, hang on, I actually I say
Speaker 1: the boundary is just protect your own peace. Would you
Speaker 1: agree with that like I at some point, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I am always willing to listen and help, but at
Speaker 1: some point when it becomes in detriment to yourself and
Speaker 1: a waste of your time, it's like I'm all done.
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, and I think there's a season two.
Speaker 1: Like for example, like y'all heard me ruminate over and
Speaker 1: over and poor Pam I'd walk with her every single
Speaker 1: day and be like, what are you You know what
Speaker 1: I mean? She's like yeah, like where it's like, I'm
Speaker 1: I know I was wearing her out post divorce, like
Speaker 1: in the process of all of it, but I think,
Speaker 1: you know, friends are I think there comes upoint if
Speaker 1: I was if I was still doing that, I think
Speaker 1: I think you or anyone would be like, hey, like
Speaker 1: it's time you gotta um. It's hard to it's like
Speaker 1: to phrase it where it's like it's really hard to
Speaker 1: watch you continue down this and like, you know, I've
Speaker 1: I've kind of said what I could say, and you know,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to place the boundary because it's really
Speaker 1: hard to to see this like repetition right, well, it
Speaker 1: just becomes I hate to say, like a waste of
Speaker 1: your time. But at some point like we're all living
Speaker 1: big lives. If I'm just it's the definition of insanity
Speaker 1: doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.
Speaker 1: So if I'm saying the same thing and you're asking
Speaker 1: the same thing or saying the same thing, then we're
Speaker 1: just stuck. And I think it's how much the friend
Speaker 1: takes it onto, like sometimes where it's like all right,
Speaker 1: like I've said my piece and like you know, and
Speaker 1: I feel like we're really good. It's like we've all
Speaker 1: set our pieces and our stuff and then we kind
Speaker 1: of just check in sometimes, but we don't. We're not
Speaker 1: bringing it up constantly, which I think helps the boundary.
Speaker 1: So it's like my boundaries, I'm not going to bring
Speaker 1: it up unless you bring it up. Well. I also
Speaker 1: would say this is almost like flipping it inside out,
Speaker 1: but it's like don't yeah, don't make it your stuff
Speaker 1: and don't take it so personally. Like I remember with Mike,
Speaker 1: I would always say to you, like, if you love Mike,
Speaker 1: I love Mike, but the minute you hate him, I
Speaker 1: have a garbage bag and a plan. Uh So I
Speaker 1: feel like I think that's the more empowering position to
Speaker 1: take in advice giving. You can't if you're giving advice,
Speaker 1: you have to be doing it out of the right
Speaker 1: intention and it doesn't need to be about you. It
Speaker 1: just needs to be about helping someone. But I can
Speaker 1: totally get it wearing someone down too or I think
Speaker 1: that's when you have to step in and be like hey,
Speaker 1: like I'm I've said my piece and and now like
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's time to either you know. But again,
Speaker 1: like you know, with Katherine to to me, it's like
Speaker 1: she was like when when everything happened and I was
Speaker 1: potentially thinking of not divorcing Mike again, Like that's when
Speaker 1: she was like, I can't work with you anymore because
Speaker 1: I can't watch you, can you know, continue doing something
Speaker 1: that I know is like hurting you? Hurting you and
Speaker 1: l I too, right, so and now was the boundary,
Speaker 1: she said, you know, And I was like, oh, all right, yeah, Mark,
Speaker 1: what do you think I think that's good advice for me?
Speaker 1: I just think when my daughter is in this situation
Speaker 1: and I always give them advice and somemes they don't
Speaker 1: take it, and that's okay, you know. For me, it's
Speaker 1: just kind of like I'm gonna give it, and then
Speaker 1: you've got to make your own choices in life. So
Speaker 1: I think that the advice it's not about you is
Speaker 1: good here. I think if they come to you for advice,
Speaker 1: you give it, but don't put so much into it
Speaker 1: that you're gonna beat your head into the law if
Speaker 1: they don't take it. If they don't take it, they
Speaker 1: don't take it. It's their life, exactly. Gentle pushed another
Speaker 1: friendship question. Um Katie says, my friend's wife has been
Speaker 1: cheating on him. What can I do or say to
Speaker 1: help him? My friend's wife has been no Katie is,
Speaker 1: but I think she's friends with a guy or could
Speaker 1: be a girl. Her friend's wife has been cheating on him. Okay,
Speaker 1: there we go. Katie has a male friend whose wife
Speaker 1: has been cheating on him. What can she do to
Speaker 1: help him? So she's friends with the guy or she's
Speaker 1: friends with the wife. She's friends with a guy? Does
Speaker 1: she know? Do I have questions? There's a lot. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's more to the star than we know. Well, for
Speaker 1: what friend who's being cheated on? What can you do
Speaker 1: to help them? I don't know anything about that. Mark.
Speaker 1: I say stay consistent and stay the safe space for
Speaker 1: the friend, because I think it is a very lonely place.
Speaker 1: Janna can speak more probably intuitively about that piece of it,
Speaker 1: but I would say it's a lonely place to be in.
Speaker 1: And if a friend can be the safe place where
Speaker 1: you can keep going and turning and supporting and reminding
Speaker 1: you of your strength and your dignity and your intention
Speaker 1: and your future, then you just stay the safe space.
Speaker 1: And I would say just continue to speak the truth
Speaker 1: because I think a lot of times when you're in
Speaker 1: that position of being cheated on, you really start to
Speaker 1: blame yourself and things that you could have done differently.
Speaker 1: And I think having someone that kind of just speaks
Speaker 1: truth into you and like be that truth seekert, it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, um, listen and speak truth, like hey, you're
Speaker 1: you're a good person because you are and you don't
Speaker 1: deserve this, which you didn't and um, I think that's
Speaker 1: important to yea um. But just again stay stay, keep
Speaker 1: a boundary. But then, just like you said, safe space,
Speaker 1: I love that. I also would say, like little energy
Speaker 1: to the hatred of the other one. Yes, you know
Speaker 1: it's so funny, You're like yeah, yeah, because I'm just
Speaker 1: like it's it's like you already know that person is
Speaker 1: being you know, not a great person. So the last
Speaker 1: thing you need to do is like hear that over
Speaker 1: and over. Let's just like pour the effort into the
Speaker 1: person being cheated on and like give them empowerment and
Speaker 1: love and safety, and let's keep the focus away from
Speaker 1: the dirt bags. Yeah, agreed. Can I have sex for one? Please?
Speaker 1: Can we can move back? We can n back and forth?
Speaker 1: Can I have a deodorant sponsorship for five? Because I'm
Speaker 1: getting sweaty? I was going to add it that last one,
Speaker 1: don't sleep with him? Oh yeah, Joanna has requested a
Speaker 1: sex question, and here it comes, no pun intended mark act.
Speaker 1: We'll start general and then go specific. How long before
Speaker 1: you have sex with a date? How long before oral?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna mute my microphone and like grandmar digging from here.
Speaker 1: I honestly think it depends on what you want for
Speaker 1: the relationship, right, So like a lot of times like
Speaker 1: I'm dying because I know too much. Go ahead, No, No,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, like for like hot Girl summer
Speaker 1: for example. Um, it's like my girlfriends were like, don't
Speaker 1: sleep with them on the first date. And it's like
Speaker 1: and also it's like but when you know what it's
Speaker 1: gonna be if it's just gonna be sex, like, I
Speaker 1: don't think it matters what day or like what date.
Speaker 1: To be truthful, if you really like the person, I
Speaker 1: say wait, but if it's just gonna be sex, like
Speaker 1: one of them was just sex. And for our younger listeners,
Speaker 1: I would say, wait till you're married. Hi named him. Well, no,
Speaker 1: this is a really actually this is interesting because it's
Speaker 1: going to go and like side swipe to faith for
Speaker 1: a second, needs do quickly. But my so I want
Speaker 1: to be a group leader for church and every but
Speaker 1: my so I have I can't get the job. Listen.
Speaker 1: So I've met with the pastors like the I've met
Speaker 1: with the pastor's wife. We've sat down a few times.
Speaker 1: And I've also sat down with I have a lady
Speaker 1: that comes to my house every Wednesday and she's just
Speaker 1: like disciple in me and talking me through the Bible
Speaker 1: and when the check up. So one of the things
Speaker 1: that if you know it's going to be sex, to
Speaker 1: just go for it. But listen, one of the things
Speaker 1: that we're talking about is one of the guidelines to
Speaker 1: be a leader is you can't have sex out of marriage.
Speaker 1: And I was like, writing your resignation letter. She leaves,
Speaker 1: thanks again, Kathy, appreciate all your time. But I'm also
Speaker 1: speaking to another friend who again is very big into
Speaker 1: the Christian world. She's in her you know, late forties,
Speaker 1: and she's dating potentially someone, and you know, she's like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna wait to have sex till i'm married, And
Speaker 1: I'm like, but you've already had sex even But it's like,
Speaker 1: and so I really have to work through that with
Speaker 1: Jamie today because I'm like, I'm struggling with like that
Speaker 1: piece of it, because I'm like, why can't I still
Speaker 1: be a follower? Like there's I don't know, Kristen, come on,
Speaker 1: we'll listen. I can't not standing on some holy ground here.
Speaker 1: My daughter was born January five and I was eight
Speaker 1: September seven. So after you carry the one, it seems
Speaker 1: like there's a remainder of unqualified to answer the question.
Speaker 1: But like you're still you, We're still a Christian, you
Speaker 1: still like so I think I just like, I'm really
Speaker 1: like that piece. I'm actually really truly struggling with. I mean,
Speaker 1: i'd struggle if I was dating again, i'd struggle, But
Speaker 1: I'm also like the connection, it's important. I know, because
Speaker 1: I know how important sex now is in a relationship
Speaker 1: like it is, especially for me. It is very important,
Speaker 1: and I think it needs to personally be there. And
Speaker 1: I will say this when it go to the oral,
Speaker 1: We're gonna hop back over on the lepisode of the ground.
Speaker 1: We're gonna step off holy Land for a second. This
Speaker 1: is really running the gamut. But like I've had sex,
Speaker 1: Oh god, I mean, like guys, I can I am
Speaker 1: blushing for you. I've had less oral than sex. Same
Speaker 1: because I almost think it's more intimate. I do think
Speaker 1: it's more intimate. Oh, I feel like I can already
Speaker 1: see the messages coming in, But I don't. I think
Speaker 1: maybe women agree with that. I don't know. Um, not
Speaker 1: a lot of women in Nashville's what I've learned to
Speaker 1: agree with that. Well, they're just handing them out. Oh really,
Speaker 1: no pun intended. Those two actually interesting and a bunch
Speaker 1: of job offers. Okay, alrighty oh wait, I take that back.
Speaker 1: Oh no, that actually is true too for the other
Speaker 1: side too, So I'm flipping it so like I have.
Speaker 1: If I'm going to be totally if we're gonna get
Speaker 1: really honest here, I want to die already know, but
Speaker 1: like I can't even say, oh good receiving. Receiving was
Speaker 1: even lower really like my ex husband the third mark,
Speaker 1: the quality of this audio is just ratchet. We are
Speaker 1: all over and wanting to die. He didn't do that
Speaker 1: for the first time until we were maybe getting back
Speaker 1: together when he got out of rehab. Would that be
Speaker 1: an intimacy issue maybe, but also like and then before that,
Speaker 1: I mean maybe maybe one or two guys before that. Okay,
Speaker 1: low when you know me another end of the spectrum.
Speaker 1: So I lived in Los Angeles. I've had sex, you know,
Speaker 1: yeah we had Yeah, but that piece was low and
Speaker 1: then ever since then, I've just been like, go ahead, no,
Speaker 1: I still I don't know. It's still like for like,
Speaker 1: I get like really insecure, insecure, but I get really shy.
Speaker 1: So I would say I would say, I aways like
Speaker 1: no, no no, no, no, no no, let's just have sex, like
Speaker 1: come up, come on, come on, sending the elevator for you,
Speaker 1: come on up. Um. I would say the same though
Speaker 1: really very intimate. I just feel like it's such a
Speaker 1: vulnerable maybe place to be time to move forward. Can
Speaker 1: we take it? What do you? Marcus didn't have any
Speaker 1: any questions around any of this. Oh, certainly not. I
Speaker 1: just come out just to clarify the answer to the
Speaker 1: original question, which was, if you're laying a foundation for
Speaker 1: a long term relationship, you may want to wait a
Speaker 1: few dates. But if you understand what's going on and
Speaker 1: neither of you and you both are on the same page,
Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with jumping in sooner. I agree. And
Speaker 1: also like, listen, once you give I said this to
Speaker 1: my uh younger girlfriend of mine. I said, once you
Speaker 1: give them sex, they're kind of done with you. Some guys.
Speaker 1: It's true though, in the dating world, like I've had
Speaker 1: I've waited and had sex with a few people and
Speaker 1: I was gone, Like they were just like all right,
Speaker 1: what I wanted. I slept with so and so, and
Speaker 1: I'm done even if I waited. Okay, I'd like to
Speaker 1: also say that I am too emotionally connected, Like I
Speaker 1: am not one of those people that can do that
Speaker 1: and not be emotionally connected. So if you know yourself
Speaker 1: well enough, I think you have to answer your own question,
Speaker 1: because to me, it cloud so much. I've never just
Speaker 1: been DTF. If the kids still say that, so, it
Speaker 1: would that would layer, and it would layer it up
Speaker 1: for me and then I wouldn't be able to emotionally
Speaker 1: disconnect when I think. That's where like my therapist and
Speaker 1: we were talking about borning Jewish guy. She was like
Speaker 1: that that whole thing was just a straight like you like,
Speaker 1: you have to know what it is because after that,
Speaker 1: it's like but then but they all everyone knows me.
Speaker 1: I get connected once I'm having the sex was good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true. The only place he wasn't boring was that.
Speaker 1: So that's what And I was like, well, unless everyone's
Speaker 1: having sex with him on Thanksgiving, he's not in the
Speaker 1: mix anymore. Yeah, so okay, So so I would just
Speaker 1: say wait and for me, like I've you know, for then,
Speaker 1: I'm waiting group leader. I'm going to be a Bible
Speaker 1: leader and I'm going to figure this out with Jamie today.
Speaker 1: Can you just give the name of the church so
Speaker 1: moms can know not where to send all impressionable children. No,
Speaker 1: it's a single mom's group. That's the thing too. I'm like,
Speaker 1: how you like, I want to lead a single mom's group.
Speaker 1: That's great, that's like I'm trying to know them. The
Speaker 1: purpose thing. I'm like, all right, I want to lead
Speaker 1: a group and like have community and and and talk
Speaker 1: about how you're not having sex. Apparently so good for you.
Speaker 1: Kramer trying um, do you know who tinks is? No?
Speaker 1: Thinks it's a TikToker talked about dating. She's got a
Speaker 1: podcast now. Anyway, she has a very interesting theory on this.
Speaker 1: When do you sleep with someone? She says, it almost
Speaker 1: doesn't matter because when you meet a guy, he puts
Speaker 1: you into a box. He either puts you into the
Speaker 1: box of I want to date this person, and if
Speaker 1: you're in that box, there's nothing you could do to
Speaker 1: change that. You could puke out his shoes, you could
Speaker 1: sleep with him the first night. It doesn't matter. He
Speaker 1: wants to date you, you're in that box, or he
Speaker 1: puts you in the hook up box, in which case
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. You can make him wait three months
Speaker 1: asleep with you. When he does, he's going to be
Speaker 1: gone because you're in the hook up box and there's
Speaker 1: very little you can do to get out of one
Speaker 1: of those boxes. Well, once he's in your box, I
Speaker 1: decided which box you're in, He's out of your box
Speaker 1: and out of your life. Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 1: Once he stuck with you box Yeah, it's basically like
Speaker 1: he already knows that box is going to put you in,
Speaker 1: like you know, it's like and actually, that's a really
Speaker 1: good way to put it because I can definitely see
Speaker 1: the actually see that too, yeah, with like oh that
Speaker 1: he definitely put me just in this box or this person. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So that doesn't make sense. So then the bottom line
Speaker 1: is sleep with him when you're ready, because he's either
Speaker 1: a dick or he's super interested. Amen. Let's se another
Speaker 1: sex question. We've had a long time on that one,
Speaker 1: so I'm just kind of kind get to a good
Speaker 1: one here. What was it like being intimate for the
Speaker 1: first time with someone other than your husband? H like
Speaker 1: when we got divorced. I guess, yeah, um it was,
Speaker 1: you know what. I never felt sexy in that marriage. Um.
Speaker 1: I remember before I found out about the affairs. I
Speaker 1: remember we were sitting at brick Tops, which I still like,
Speaker 1: it's not funny, like when you have a memory from something,
Speaker 1: it's like, I will never forget when I sat at
Speaker 1: brick Tops and he was just like we I was
Speaker 1: were talking about sex, and like, you know, I got
Speaker 1: a little emotional like why he wouldn't sleep with me?
Speaker 1: And he was like, well maybe if you wore something sexy,
Speaker 1: and I just remember being like, and I saw, I
Speaker 1: started crying and I left the restaurant. And because I
Speaker 1: always just wore like his big T shirts, I thought
Speaker 1: that was sexy. So I just never ever felt sexy
Speaker 1: in the relationship, you know, obviously with our history and everything.
Speaker 1: And so you know, I got my boobs ten days
Speaker 1: before I found out about things. So he never got
Speaker 1: to touch my boobs. Oh I like that. He never
Speaker 1: like any of it. So like, and then I got this,
Speaker 1: like you know, divorce, I lost a little weight and
Speaker 1: I started to feel really like sexy and then like
Speaker 1: you know, I got some attention and that made me
Speaker 1: feel good because when I the first month post divorce,
Speaker 1: I was like, no one's ever gonna want to be
Speaker 1: with me and the scot you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: I just like it just was like I was hating
Speaker 1: on myself because I'm just like I'm washed up, I'm
Speaker 1: the I'm the problem, I'm the like all these things.
Speaker 1: And then it just kind of switched. And then I
Speaker 1: when I started to feel a little attention, that felt nice.
Speaker 1: And then the first time like sleeping with someone, it
Speaker 1: was just like I just like it was sexy. It
Speaker 1: just felt secy. I felt sexy. I felt like more
Speaker 1: in my body and like someone really wanted to sleep
Speaker 1: with me as opposed to the last seven years forcing
Speaker 1: someone to sleep with me. And that's a different feeling,
Speaker 1: like to really like someone wants to touch me, and
Speaker 1: like it feels a lot of people that want to
Speaker 1: touch you, sorr, I'm like grubbing them and now I
Speaker 1: noticed really nestling the girls. Girls. But also like in
Speaker 1: a lot I got a lot of hate for like
Speaker 1: showing off my boobs, but I'm like I was, I
Speaker 1: felt I wasn't trying to get thirsty traps like but
Speaker 1: at the same time it felt good, like for the
Speaker 1: first time, like I felt sexy and like so yeah,
Speaker 1: I wanted to show it off, like I'm not, you know,
Speaker 1: one of the Instagram models that show it off every day.
Speaker 1: But even if I was like, who cares, let them
Speaker 1: be sexy, let them show it off if that's what
Speaker 1: they want to do and whatever, It's like I was
Speaker 1: doing it more for like me, like yourself felt sexy, yeah,
Speaker 1: because I never felt that way a competence too, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: good answer. Christie wants to know where the strangest place
Speaker 1: you've ever had sex? No judgment, Kristen, I wish I
Speaker 1: was gonna I was gonna say it an ice maker
Speaker 1: in a restaurant, on top of an ice machine at
Speaker 1: a restaurant where Applebee's no just in location. It wasn't
Speaker 1: a chain, I'll say that. It wasn't. No, it was
Speaker 1: not from Michigan. And you've got a tramp stamp, Cramer.
Speaker 1: I'm just a product of my generation and they used
Speaker 1: to be stars. Um, I would I would give that.
Speaker 1: I think that's it, But I'm going to think for
Speaker 1: a minute. Okay, I think that is pretty where's yours? Honestly,
Speaker 1: you guys, I am so boring. I'm like the in
Speaker 1: bed missionary. Yeah. Like I'm just like a really like
Speaker 1: which um yeah, but I kind of like, again, want
Speaker 1: to sex it up a little bit, Like I kind
Speaker 1: of want like, I can tell you where there's an
Speaker 1: awfully great ice machine. But wait, you've got it out
Speaker 1: of a bed before. I mean, I got caught one
Speaker 1: time in high school on my parents, I mean on
Speaker 1: my high school boyfriend's couch. Um that was embarrassing, and
Speaker 1: in the condom fellow and his dad the condom as
Speaker 1: my fucking naked self is running up these stairs. More
Speaker 1: did because we left, Um, we left Sadie Hawkins early
Speaker 1: to like go have sex. And so I slide this
Speaker 1: note underneath my mom's door because the mom goes, you
Speaker 1: have twenty four hours to tell your mother. Was like,
Speaker 1: and so I slid a note under the door to
Speaker 1: my mom, and I was like, is the first time
Speaker 1: we ever read sex? I'm so sorry it wasn't, but
Speaker 1: you know, I lied, And so we're gonna need something.
Speaker 1: We're gonna need something a little more raunchy. Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: trying to think in a car. I've had sex in
Speaker 1: a car, but I mean nothing where it's like we
Speaker 1: I pulled him from the restaurant, which that is like
Speaker 1: kind of a fantasy of mine, going like like meet
Speaker 1: me in the restaurant and meet me in the restroom
Speaker 1: in five minutes fantasy. Okay, So when it happens for you,
Speaker 1: I just want one emoji the ice cube, and that's
Speaker 1: all I want. And I don't need any other details.
Speaker 1: I just need to know we have ice ice babied.
Speaker 1: Oh god, Okay, I'm kind of hot though, Yeah, of
Speaker 1: course it sounds hot anybody Mark, anybody in a plane?
Speaker 1: Have you in a plane? You guys? I do have
Speaker 1: a funny story. Friends of ours a hand drop something
Speaker 1: I mean he didn't like, but I got a Mark.
Speaker 1: I'm dying. I'm dying. Preston and I are on a
Speaker 1: mission to be in the Mile High club together. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Can I tell one funny story that is like going
Speaker 1: to sound bougie, but it's not, but it kind of is.
Speaker 1: Friends of ours were like, Hey, after this football game,
Speaker 1: why don't you take our plane? It has to go
Speaker 1: back to Nashville anyways, private plane. So Preston's like brown chicks, like, baby,
Speaker 1: this is our time mile High. I get ready like
Speaker 1: he's talking dirty the whole way to the airport and
Speaker 1: we get there and it's like the sweetest little chitty
Speaker 1: bang bang wind up plane. It's essentially a golf cart
Speaker 1: with wings. And I was like, mmm, put that back
Speaker 1: on the vision for Mark. What about you? I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, as you know, I'm one of the more
Speaker 1: boring people who ever exist. There was a balcony at
Speaker 1: the Grand Californian Hotel at Disneyland. There's an out of
Speaker 1: the hotel, there's a balcony. Yeah, is that why your
Speaker 1: face is up backstage at Disneyland. Do not service this
Speaker 1: human being? Yeah, identification photos a little raunchy. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna lie. Oh gosh, I love it. Okay, alright, moving on,
Speaker 1: moving on, Let's see, let's go to some of the
Speaker 1: dating questions. Sandra says, at what point do you think
Speaker 1: it's okay for your kids to meet the person you're dating.
Speaker 1: We have new boundaries in the queendom about this. What
Speaker 1: is it? Remember it went on the white board after
Speaker 1: his name. Uh huh, that was a mistake A long time. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it needs to be like when you're like in love
Speaker 1: lah blah blah blah blah blah blah, love love like
Speaker 1: a long long time. Um, I'm definitely, I bet. Here's
Speaker 1: the deal. It's like it's so hard because it's like
Speaker 1: where I struggle with it, is like, all right, let's
Speaker 1: say I'm in love and I'm dating this person. If
Speaker 1: they're not good with my kids, I'm done. So it's
Speaker 1: like a part of me is like I almost want
Speaker 1: to see how they are with the kids, so I
Speaker 1: can make more of a a um with that, Like
Speaker 1: I can make more of a judge informed decision. Yeah,
Speaker 1: of whether or not, like I want to continue dating
Speaker 1: this person because if they're if they're if they don't
Speaker 1: get on the ground with my kids and roll around
Speaker 1: and like you know, it's like that's what I want
Speaker 1: out of someone that I end up with, Like that
Speaker 1: just really goes in there and just like is with
Speaker 1: my kids, and like if it's like weird, I'd be like,
Speaker 1: oh man, I just kind of not wasted, but like
Speaker 1: spent six six months or so with this person and
Speaker 1: now you're meeting my kids and now it's not great,
Speaker 1: and so I don't know. So that's that's where I
Speaker 1: kind of like struggle. I'm almost like, can you introduce
Speaker 1: them as like a friend one time just to like
Speaker 1: want to see like maybe like when I because I
Speaker 1: have like you know, Shane and Josh come over, Like
Speaker 1: I have a lot of guy friends and their wives,
Speaker 1: and like I have like you know, other guy friends
Speaker 1: that like you know, when my director friends like Daniel
Speaker 1: came over. It's like so it's like I could almost
Speaker 1: maybe can you play it like that where it's like, hey,
Speaker 1: when there's more people over, like for example, tonight, if
Speaker 1: I was to invite hit him, you know, like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is my friend whatever, just to see like how
Speaker 1: he interacts. Sure, because like Rocco will come over like
Speaker 1: pay him and he's just like you know, you know, knuckles.
Speaker 1: But then also that might be really uncomfortable for that
Speaker 1: person too, So it's like that weird and I don't
Speaker 1: want to judge them off of like a friend uncomfortable
Speaker 1: nous too. What Mark helped me out here give me
Speaker 1: some fatherly advice on this one. I think you're I
Speaker 1: think it's good. I think you're right to wait. But
Speaker 1: also it might be good for them to just know
Speaker 1: this person exists in the world before they find out
Speaker 1: it's your boyfriend or someone that's going to be involved
Speaker 1: in their lives in that way. So like a meeting
Speaker 1: without like any sort of like touching. Well, and here's
Speaker 1: kind of what I what I told this one person
Speaker 1: if we continue hanging out, is it has to be
Speaker 1: their idea. So what I do is I'm always going
Speaker 1: to say like, hey, this is my friend, like this
Speaker 1: is my friend so and so, and then maybe one
Speaker 1: day and be like hey, maybe when they do want
Speaker 1: mommy's friend so and so to come over, And it
Speaker 1: has to be Jolie's idea and Jason's to have that
Speaker 1: person come over, like I wanted to be their idea
Speaker 1: as opposed to my idea. So I think that hopefully
Speaker 1: can help other people to like I don't and I
Speaker 1: don't know if that's the right way to do it. Like,
Speaker 1: but in my mind, it's like, it's not me having
Speaker 1: some guy come into our space. It's they've maybe talked
Speaker 1: on FaceTime a few times and they've maybe like I've
Speaker 1: maybe mentioned him as a friend. Where it's like that
Speaker 1: is like they don't know about the boyfriend status until
Speaker 1: months later, whereas it this is just like, oh, this
Speaker 1: is like mommy's friend that comes over, it's really fun
Speaker 1: and plays with us. That kind of feels good to me.
Speaker 1: But it has to be like, hey, baby girl, do
Speaker 1: you want you know, mommy's friend to come over? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Or no? And then okay, cool, it's like the idea.
Speaker 1: Do you like that? Mark? I think that's good. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Just the last thing you want is something to meet
Speaker 1: every guy you go on a date, Like you always
Speaker 1: hear those stories of people who just bring this guy
Speaker 1: home every other week, this a new guy, and it
Speaker 1: really can be traumatic. Yeah, And I think I mentioned
Speaker 1: this one time, but I had a guy show up
Speaker 1: last year. He's like surprised me, and I go, what
Speaker 1: are you doing here? I have my kids? Like, you
Speaker 1: have to leave. He's like, well, you're having like a
Speaker 1: you know, a pool party. I know I talked to
Speaker 1: some and so who was here? I go, you have
Speaker 1: to leave, like you're not meeting my kids, like and
Speaker 1: and that's when I was like, I was like no,
Speaker 1: like I'm like and then someone else to kind of
Speaker 1: did the same thing and I immediately stopped, like it
Speaker 1: was sweet. He was trying to help something in my house.
Speaker 1: But I texted saying, hey, text me when you're here,
Speaker 1: and I'll go outside visitors Like the visitors almost here. Well,
Speaker 1: I come in from out of my room and he's
Speaker 1: in my house fixing my clock, and I go, what
Speaker 1: are you doing? Yeah? I was like boundaries. I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, like my kids, Like I
Speaker 1: was like my kids seeing anybody? Yeah, So very protective
Speaker 1: now because of that last situation, Sarah wonders, do you
Speaker 1: have a type of guy that you're most attracted to? Christen,
Speaker 1: I don't have a type. If you saw X and
Speaker 1: you saw current husband, you'd be like opposite day. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm attracted to. You do have a type, Jana's could
Speaker 1: all be lined up to be like framed to be
Speaker 1: identified for a crime, and you'd be like, I think
Speaker 1: it's a number four, number five. Um, I am wildly
Speaker 1: attracted to humor. It matters to me way too much.
Speaker 1: So if you looked at all my boyfriends husband's all
Speaker 1: lined up, you just you'd have to listen to them
Speaker 1: talk to understand. But like, my husband is one of
Speaker 1: the funniest, wittiest human beings I had met, and I
Speaker 1: felt like that's what keeps it that is just so
Speaker 1: wildly attractive to me. He is also really good to bed,
Speaker 1: So okay, I just like to throw it out. He
Speaker 1: deserves a little that little shout out because it's true,
Speaker 1: all right, and it does matter. So my type is
Speaker 1: a lineup, oh boy, And I mean, you know, I
Speaker 1: kind of feel like I'm all over the map. But
Speaker 1: like the ones that I chase or they all look
Speaker 1: the same, they all look the same. Yeah. At one
Speaker 1: point I was like, so we're all done with former
Speaker 1: football players? Yeah, yeah, Okay, Well, I mean this kind
Speaker 1: of leads nicely the next question from Jenna and the
Speaker 1: dating category. She says did you date John Mayer? I
Speaker 1: mean that definitely the Bodies of Wonderland little comment that
Speaker 1: definitely got you know that the other quick, Um, we did, Yes,
Speaker 1: we did go on a date. M hm, Yes we did.
Speaker 1: Uh huh um. It was just one date and we
Speaker 1: talked a little bit before. But um, he's a lovely
Speaker 1: human and we just were not compatible. And earlier you
Speaker 1: mentioned that, you know, if it's the right situation, there
Speaker 1: are no limits to what happens on a first date.
Speaker 1: Did not have sex with him? I did not have
Speaker 1: sex with him. It was yeah, no, we we literally
Speaker 1: went on one day. We were going to have another one,
Speaker 1: and we both decided that it was not going to
Speaker 1: be long term. So there's no point. This is great
Speaker 1: but he's great, so like you know, like I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't speak to him, but I like I wish
Speaker 1: him the best. I think he's great and you know
Speaker 1: he's Yeah, nothing nothing bad to say. It was. It
Speaker 1: was a great date. We had a great time, and
Speaker 1: I think you had good You had good conversation. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we had great conversations, great date, great time, and I
Speaker 1: think you know you Um, it's when you don't see
Speaker 1: it going further there I don't think at this age
Speaker 1: it's makes sense to continue. Yeah, and a few things
Speaker 1: just in the line with both of us, and we're
Speaker 1: like a cool take care, no hard feelings, zero good luck.
Speaker 1: I had a wedding hashtag all lined up that was
Speaker 1: going to be running form mayor, and I was excited.
Speaker 1: I was excited. She was very excited. All Right, I
Speaker 1: think what we should do is take a break, and
Speaker 1: when we come back, I'm going to run by the
Speaker 1: forbidden questions and see what you want to do with them. Okay,
Speaker 1: run from them, run run Hi. It's Bethany Frankel. My
Speaker 1: time on The Wheelhousewives of New York is a few
Speaker 1: years behind me, and now I'm ready to put the
Speaker 1: wheel back into the reel Housewives. That's where my new podcast,
Speaker 1: Rewives comes in. Isn't your typical rewatch podcast. I'm watching
Speaker 1: only the most iconic episodes from all cities. I'm sharing
Speaker 1: never before heard stories of what happened behind the scenes,
Speaker 1: and I'm not just pulling in cast members for postgame analysis.
Speaker 1: I'm doing something a little more interesting. If you've ever
Speaker 1: seen an episode of The Wheelhousewives, you know the drill,
Speaker 1: but beyond throwing drinks, and legs. There are lessons about marriage,
Speaker 1: divorced friendship, money, parenting, and fame if you have the
Speaker 1: right minds, analyze and dig deeper. So I'm bringing on
Speaker 1: unexpected thought leaders and celebrities to get their take on
Speaker 1: the chaos this season, I sit down with Elizabeth Moss,
Speaker 1: Kevin Neal and Susie orm and Griffin Johnson and more.
Speaker 1: You think that there isn't much to learn from flipping
Speaker 1: tables and yanking wigs, but that's where you're wrong. Listen
Speaker 1: to Rewives with Bethany Frankel on the I Heart Radio app,
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. We're
Speaker 1: back with Forbidden Questions. So just so you know how
Speaker 1: this turned out. Hannah, our producer, sent me over the
Speaker 1: list of questions and I picked my favorites and then
Speaker 1: she goes, who there are some that I didn't even
Speaker 1: put in there, Like, Okay, those are the ones I want.
Speaker 1: She said, well, I don't think she'll answer them. Well, great,
Speaker 1: if she wants to veto them, if she wants to pass,
Speaker 1: she can do that. It's her podcast. But I think
Speaker 1: we should at least una buyed because this is the
Speaker 1: stuff people want to hear about I want to vomit.
Speaker 1: What was interesting is we take questions when we're out
Speaker 1: on wind doown on like the tour, but we get
Speaker 1: to vet them. And so I just came into this
Speaker 1: podcast thinking we were going to be able to vet them,
Speaker 1: and I didn't realize again that Mark had this control.
Speaker 1: You can vet them. Here's what I'm saying. I will
Speaker 1: read you the question. If you don't want to answer
Speaker 1: it or even cannot, maybe there are something you cannot answer.
Speaker 1: That's right, because we're good Christian women. Go ahead forbidden
Speaker 1: Fruit for five, say Vito, whatever you want to say,
Speaker 1: and we'll move on to the next one. All right, Tracy,
Speaker 1: will you share how you found out about Mike? Well?
Speaker 1: I thought this was going to be more fun. Well
Speaker 1: there's more. Um. Well, the question is will I share?
Speaker 1: The question is will I share what happened with Mike?
Speaker 1: Oh you found out about Mike? Yes, I will share
Speaker 1: how I found out about Mike? Pre order pre order
Speaker 1: the preorder your book? Now, Okay, fair answer, that's technically
Speaker 1: what if I if I'm going by the question, that
Speaker 1: is the right, that's the answer. Yes, I will share,
Speaker 1: um And we're counting on you to pre order. All right,
Speaker 1: this is from the real Mama Bear, who says, how
Speaker 1: does it make you feel that Ian keeps talking to
Speaker 1: the press about you? Um? I didn't know that he
Speaker 1: was still talking to press. Um. I don't. Well, I'll
Speaker 1: say like I tried to avoid reading gossip sites. Um.
Speaker 1: I'll just say for me, what I realized with that
Speaker 1: whole situation, um, was that certain outlets, um, the one
Speaker 1: that he spoke to, don't really don't really care about
Speaker 1: the truth. Um. Because when I got the email from
Speaker 1: I'll just us Weekly, when I got an email from
Speaker 1: them saying that he did a sit down, Um, you know,
Speaker 1: I sent them the proof of you know, the lies
Speaker 1: and other information that I had received from people. Um,
Speaker 1: and they still chose to run the story. Um. She
Speaker 1: Basically the editor was like who or you know who
Speaker 1: was writing the story basically said like, you know, I
Speaker 1: should show the receipts on my Insta. And in that
Speaker 1: moment was when I was like, the publications don't care
Speaker 1: about the truth, They just care about the drama. Um.
Speaker 1: And I wanted so badly to defend myself um, because yeah,
Speaker 1: like I again, I sent to the editor of this
Speaker 1: this information and I wanted to defend myself on my page.
Speaker 1: But again like that's what this, that's what thus Weekly wanted.
Speaker 1: They wanted me to. They wanted more of a story
Speaker 1: and more of a pickup and more of a you know, um,
Speaker 1: more of just um, more of something they can write
Speaker 1: about and you know UM. To me, the intentions of
Speaker 1: both were very ugly UM. And I had to look
Speaker 1: inside and go, Okay, why have I continued to be
Speaker 1: an unhealthy situations and continue unhealthy patterns and relationships? Um?
Speaker 1: And I realized in that moment like I'm actually kind
Speaker 1: of glad, not glad, I shouldnt say glad. That was
Speaker 1: a big turning point for me because I was I
Speaker 1: really had to like go inward and do my work
Speaker 1: and go, okay, like, where's the work that I need
Speaker 1: to do on myself to have like continued to be
Speaker 1: in um a relationship where I didn't trust the person
Speaker 1: and you know, I didn't recognize or I didn't you know,
Speaker 1: get their red flags and um. You know what I
Speaker 1: realized now is like when I move forward in a
Speaker 1: new relationship, like if someone lies to me and from
Speaker 1: the get I can't stay in that relationship because I
Speaker 1: have so many trust issues that I don't like who
Speaker 1: I turned into and I think you know again, for me,
Speaker 1: it's like I look at it and and even just
Speaker 1: like in the dating world where I'm at right now
Speaker 1: in my dating life, it's like I have to just
Speaker 1: really listen and see and observe and um and just
Speaker 1: um make sure I'm not following following past patterns and
Speaker 1: just kind of checking in with my gut and myself
Speaker 1: while I'm in this new dating world. Because again, like
Speaker 1: I for sure percent know that like if someone straight
Speaker 1: up lies to me in the beginning or is not trustworthy,
Speaker 1: like I have to bounce. Um. So yeah, the interesting
Speaker 1: part to me is even if I'm not in it
Speaker 1: with you, right, even if I'm not your friend thirty feet,
Speaker 1: you spoke zero of him, you never made official statement,
Speaker 1: pictures are deleted, we are moving on. You were so
Speaker 1: tactful about how you handled all of that. Thanks. Well.
Speaker 1: What you just said segways beautifully into our final question
Speaker 1: from Holly, which is who are you dating. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying yet, I'm the past. His body is not a wonderland,
Speaker 1: what actually is it is? But I just I'm I'm
Speaker 1: really like I want to be careful and I'm being mindful.
Speaker 1: And there's a lot of times too he's cute. He'll
Speaker 1: be like you, he's like you have it's like your eyes.
Speaker 1: It's like I can't tell. And I go, I need
Speaker 1: to go turtle slow with this turtle slow. And I said,
Speaker 1: I've moved very fast and past relationships. And I was
Speaker 1: just like, yes, there's things I'd love to say because
Speaker 1: my love adict wants me to say like or you
Speaker 1: know whatever. I was like, but I just like, I
Speaker 1: need to go really slow, and like I'm terrified. I'm
Speaker 1: terrified to get bamboos all again. I'm terrified out of like,
Speaker 1: you know, are you going to sit down with us
Speaker 1: weekly and spread lies? Are you gonna like you know?
Speaker 1: I was like, what is your intentions? It's like, so
Speaker 1: I'm I'm literally like my toe is in, but I'm
Speaker 1: like my body's out. I have enjoyed how protective you
Speaker 1: have been about this relationship because he's not even he's
Speaker 1: not even queen like I mean, no, yeah, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: what I like about it. Like I've told you before,
Speaker 1: I like the way I like the way your eyes
Speaker 1: light up when you talk about him. It's something I
Speaker 1: always watched for but I also just enjoy how wildly
Speaker 1: private you've been about him, even with friends, and I
Speaker 1: think that matters, Like there's something different. I want to
Speaker 1: make my own opinion, and I love Queendom. I love
Speaker 1: you guys, and people ask I saw one of the questions,
Speaker 1: are you still friends with Pam? And like, of course,
Speaker 1: like we're like, we've been trying to get together since
Speaker 1: like I think your Queendom child Like everyone's so busy
Speaker 1: with all breaks in this that they're there, but I'm like,
Speaker 1: I really like, I think I've always when I pick guys,
Speaker 1: I pick them based off I think. And this isn't
Speaker 1: really crappy thing to say, but other people's opinions sometimes
Speaker 1: are louder than my own opinion. You're in a chapter
Speaker 1: of trusting yourself more, which is what I really like.
Speaker 1: That's what I gain out of the privacy of it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you don't need like I wanted to make my up
Speaker 1: for myself, though, I am going to go through the
Speaker 1: vetting process well tonight she gets to meet him tonight
Speaker 1: for the first time, so tbd mm hmm. But the question,
Speaker 1: the answer to that is is like it's no, I'm
Speaker 1: not a toe, is in? Bodies out? And is the
Speaker 1: body out? Well? I need to meeting with church pastor
Speaker 1: and I gotta like catch me hosting the Bible study.
Speaker 1: But anyhow, I feel like we should do a part
Speaker 1: two because there's a lot of questions left. So maybe
Speaker 1: we should do a part two later on or not,
Speaker 1: or it could just be done and that's fine. Bye guys.