1 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:24,639 Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, Emily a body here. You are listening to 2 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:29,400 Speaker 1: five minute Friday from Hurdle. You can handle it? Can 3 00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:33,720 Speaker 1: I tell you? I have been repeating that to myself. 4 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:37,840 Speaker 1: I won't even just say every day this week, every 5 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,400 Speaker 1: hour this week. 6 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,080 Speaker 2: I don't know what's going on. 7 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:44,519 Speaker 1: Someone said something to me about an eclipse or a 8 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 1: moon or who knows what. I'm not in tune with 9 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 1: that kind of stuff, but this week has thrown me 10 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:54,280 Speaker 1: for a total loop. 11 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,280 Speaker 2: I am on the roller coaster. It is a lot. 12 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:01,640 Speaker 1: On Tuesday, I felt as though I got hit over 13 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:07,479 Speaker 1: the head with imposter syndrome and negative thoughts and it 14 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:11,039 Speaker 1: was so persistent and I could not get out of 15 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:12,080 Speaker 1: this cycle. 16 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:16,840 Speaker 2: That felt just so rude and there were tears. 17 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 1: It was everything you're following, And so I did on 18 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 1: Tuesday the things that show me that my breathwork and 19 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:26,560 Speaker 1: mindfulness practice. 20 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 2: Is starting to pay off. 21 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 1: In that, I asked myself, what is it that I 22 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 1: am capable of doing in this moment, even though I 23 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 1: just felt like I was completely incapable. The first thing 24 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:39,560 Speaker 1: I did was text a friend to see if she 25 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,839 Speaker 1: wanted to join me at one of my favorite yoga studios, 26 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 1: Lines Den the following morning for a class. I have 27 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 1: navigated some really tough stuff there in the past, most 28 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 1: notably it feels like yesterday, but it was actually eight 29 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:55,080 Speaker 1: years ago my last real breakup. 30 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,880 Speaker 2: I remember going there. 31 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:59,560 Speaker 1: After little to no sleep, feeling like a total shell 32 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:02,200 Speaker 1: of my self and showing up on that matt exactly 33 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:04,840 Speaker 1: as I am, and it felt so therapeutic. So to 34 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 1: this day, when I am struggling with something, I automatically 35 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:09,560 Speaker 1: think to go there. 36 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,600 Speaker 2: So I made a date to do that. 37 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 1: I got up from my computer, which in my line 38 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,440 Speaker 1: of work, being someone that works for myself is a privilege. 39 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:20,920 Speaker 1: But in doing that and actually sending a couple of 40 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:23,919 Speaker 1: emails that said I'm taking a personal day, I'll get 41 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:28,800 Speaker 1: back to you tomorrow, I really realized how almost everyone 42 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:32,840 Speaker 1: expects me to be available all the time, and I 43 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:34,959 Speaker 1: have taught them to treat me that way. I am 44 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:40,160 Speaker 1: widely available. That is a conversation for another day. I 45 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:44,520 Speaker 1: then made it a priority, despite not wanting to really 46 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:47,280 Speaker 1: talk about how I felt, to reach out to a 47 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,320 Speaker 1: friend and ask if they would meet me for a 48 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:54,200 Speaker 1: walk after work. And God bless my dear friend Willie. 49 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:57,280 Speaker 1: We met in the park and took a walk and 50 00:02:57,320 --> 00:02:59,520 Speaker 1: then ended up sitting down and having a glass of wine, 51 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:01,639 Speaker 1: and that one I turned into a very nice dinner, 52 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,079 Speaker 1: which then led us to a very nice cup of gelato, 53 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:10,680 Speaker 1: and I just let it go, like complete meltdown, waterworks, 54 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 1: the whole thing. And to be able to express what 55 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:17,840 Speaker 1: I was feeling and dissect the thoughts in my head 56 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:20,560 Speaker 1: and be with someone that makes me feel so seen 57 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:25,919 Speaker 1: and so safe, it was truly priceless. And I am 58 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,760 Speaker 1: the type of person that knows that where there's a 59 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,800 Speaker 1: will and where there's a why, there's a way. And 60 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,520 Speaker 1: I don't like feeling like how I did on Tuesday. 61 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,240 Speaker 1: That doesn't mean that it's not going to happen. That 62 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,800 Speaker 1: doesn't mean that intrusive thoughts aren't going to come in. 63 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:41,520 Speaker 1: But what I know to be true is that I 64 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:44,960 Speaker 1: have the opportunity then to react and then to respond. 65 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 1: And so I did those three things that certainly helped. 66 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:52,200 Speaker 1: And the next day I woke up and I said, 67 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,360 Speaker 1: today is a new day, and I reminded myself that 68 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:58,120 Speaker 1: every single moment it doesn't need to be the start 69 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:00,880 Speaker 1: of a new day, but every single line is an 70 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,160 Speaker 1: opportunity to start over. And it can be starting over 71 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:08,600 Speaker 1: as simple as within a workout. Right, maybe you are 72 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:13,920 Speaker 1: doing something a little bit excuse me half ass. Right, 73 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 1: you're at the gym, you're lifting weights, you're not really 74 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,960 Speaker 1: following through with the reps counts and the sets and whatever. 75 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,400 Speaker 1: Any second you can be like, you know what, I'm 76 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:24,520 Speaker 1: going to recommit. So there's that, But there's also an 77 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:27,560 Speaker 1: opportunity every single second and every single day to recommit 78 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,080 Speaker 1: to yourself and show up for yourself like you would 79 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 1: show up for a loved one, because you need to 80 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,720 Speaker 1: be your number one priority. Can you tell that I'm 81 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:38,360 Speaker 1: saying this so that I can listen to it back 82 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:42,680 Speaker 1: and really remind myself of these things later you can 83 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:46,200 Speaker 1: handle it. I said to myself, you can handle it, 84 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,920 Speaker 1: and so maybe this five minute Friday is the pep 85 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 1: talk you needed to remind you that you too can 86 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 1: handle it. Hard things happen, Hard moments happen, Devastating thoughts 87 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:02,279 Speaker 1: and feelings they happen. But you have managed to get 88 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,039 Speaker 1: through all of the hard moments up until this point, 89 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,440 Speaker 1: some of which I'm sure you wondered if you would 90 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 1: survive in the first place. And remember that you can 91 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:14,640 Speaker 1: continue to do that moving forward. My prompt for you 92 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:19,360 Speaker 1: this week. What's your pep talk motto. I'm leaning into this, 93 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 1: you can handle it right? What do you tell yourself 94 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 1: when times get tough? And how do you cope with this? 95 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:30,680 Speaker 1: What are your coping strategies? By articulating these things now, 96 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,919 Speaker 1: if you haven't been able to articulate them before, you 97 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:37,200 Speaker 1: can then put them into practice when it feels like 98 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:42,279 Speaker 1: life is lifing the next time. And now let's answer 99 00:05:42,279 --> 00:05:45,880 Speaker 1: a listener question. Hey, Emily, you asked for a listener question, 100 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 1: so here I am dropping in your inbox. One thing 101 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:51,279 Speaker 1: I've been struggling with for years, longer than I'd like 102 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:54,599 Speaker 1: to admit, is finding direction at work. I don't know 103 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,800 Speaker 1: what inspires me. I don't know what I'm good at. 104 00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:59,359 Speaker 1: I don't know what I want to do, and therefore 105 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,000 Speaker 1: I don't have a plan. I set annual goals for 106 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:05,800 Speaker 1: my personal life, financial, fitness, running, hobbies, et cetera. But 107 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,880 Speaker 1: this feels bigger than goal setting. I don't even know 108 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:11,480 Speaker 1: what goals to set because I don't know where I'm going. 109 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,279 Speaker 1: What tools can I use to find that direction so 110 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:17,760 Speaker 1: I can break the cycle of going through the motions? 111 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 1: Hey Nicole, I understand where you're coming from. I feel 112 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:25,320 Speaker 1: you on this, and first and foremost, you need to 113 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:28,560 Speaker 1: know that you are certainly not the only person that 114 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 1: feels this way. I want you to make a list 115 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:36,840 Speaker 1: of the things that bring you joy. And I hear 116 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:40,120 Speaker 1: you when you say that I don't know what inspires me. 117 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:44,960 Speaker 1: But I challenge that and say, maybe you don't know 118 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:49,280 Speaker 1: yet what inspires you. Maybe you need to give it 119 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:52,159 Speaker 1: some space. You need to give yourself the time to 120 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:55,600 Speaker 1: sit down and think about not only what brings you joy, 121 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:59,840 Speaker 1: but what excites you. What have you seen in the 122 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:03,640 Speaker 1: past that inspires you? Who is doing something that you 123 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:06,919 Speaker 1: think that is cool? Right, because we have the opportunity 124 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:10,880 Speaker 1: to garner inspiration from other people, that doesn't mean that 125 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,680 Speaker 1: we should just do something because it looks cool. But 126 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:17,320 Speaker 1: maybe that's a jumping off point. Maybe that's the opportunity 127 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:20,600 Speaker 1: for you to say, this looks really cool. Maybe I 128 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,640 Speaker 1: could be good at doing something like this. Let me 129 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:25,800 Speaker 1: take the time to learn more about it. Right, So, 130 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,440 Speaker 1: when you start to break it down, and instead of 131 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,480 Speaker 1: just being like, what do I want to do with 132 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:33,560 Speaker 1: my life, ask a smaller question, what is it that 133 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 1: brings me joy? Who's doing something that looks cool to me, 134 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:41,200 Speaker 1: How can I then do the research, kind of dig 135 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 1: in here and do a little recondency if that could 136 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 1: feel like a good thing for me too. Also, be 137 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:52,560 Speaker 1: easy on yourself, because you don't need to figure it 138 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 1: all out right now. You don't need to figure out 139 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 1: exactly where you're going in this minute, in five years 140 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:00,880 Speaker 1: and ten years down the line. But by doing this 141 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 1: initial self inquiry, by asking yourself, what is it that 142 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,160 Speaker 1: brings me joy? 143 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:06,800 Speaker 2: What is it that inspires me? 144 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 1: Those lists can help you start to identify things that 145 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:15,960 Speaker 1: you can begin to integrate to research, to really dive 146 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 1: into in the short term. 147 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:21,000 Speaker 2: You know something that I did when I was in between. 148 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:23,480 Speaker 1: Jobs a handful of years ago, not even a few 149 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:26,040 Speaker 1: years ago now, was that I sat down with different 150 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:29,360 Speaker 1: people once a week and they were all in different 151 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,200 Speaker 1: occupations and just wanted to learn about what it was 152 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:35,360 Speaker 1: that they did. And these would be friends of friends, 153 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:39,000 Speaker 1: someone like a man that works on Wall Street as 154 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:42,000 Speaker 1: a stockbroker, or someone that was in marketing at Nike, 155 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,320 Speaker 1: And I bought them a cup of coffee and I 156 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:47,160 Speaker 1: learned about what it was that they did. And I 157 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,800 Speaker 1: thought that was a really great exercise just to broaden 158 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:52,320 Speaker 1: my knowledge. So I understood what it meant to be 159 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 1: someone that works on Wall Street in finance or someone 160 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:59,200 Speaker 1: that works in marketing at Nike. Right, And it might 161 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:01,920 Speaker 1: not be your chosen career, like you might know that 162 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:05,000 Speaker 1: you don't want to go into finance, but learning about 163 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:08,760 Speaker 1: all of these things allows you the opportunity to know 164 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:13,520 Speaker 1: what is a no and oh for you? Right. Sometimes 165 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:17,080 Speaker 1: articulating what is a no, what is a no for 166 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:21,119 Speaker 1: you helps you get closer to what's a yes. So 167 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,439 Speaker 1: start there, let me know how it goes. And to 168 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,480 Speaker 1: anyone listening to this, if you have a listener question, 169 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,600 Speaker 1: let me answer it in the next five minute Friday. 170 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:32,080 Speaker 1: Send us an email with the subject listener question to 171 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:35,720 Speaker 1: Hello at hurdle dot us. Again, that email is Hello 172 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 1: at hurdle dot us. I'm over at Emilyabody and at 173 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:44,240 Speaker 1: Hurdle Podcast. Another Hurdle Conquered. Catch you guys next time.