Speaker 1: I've just been riding my bike. It's been pretty sweet.
Speaker 1: Riding my bike in New York is amazing too, because
Speaker 1: you ride it on the West Side bike path. I
Speaker 1: passed this guy and all of a sudden, where to go,
Speaker 1: fat ass? Yeah, I'm on drugs.
Speaker 2: It's for my prop day. Do you really ride your
Speaker 2: bike around the city.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's wonderful.
Speaker 2: Yeah you're a madman.
Speaker 1: Oh it's wonderful. It's the greatest way to get around.
Speaker 1: All of a sudden, people think, no, that couldn't be
Speaker 1: morek No, have.
Speaker 3: You seen the new they have the new bikes that
Speaker 3: you can rent, the city bikes you can rent. But
Speaker 3: it's people like from Belgium that don't know the city
Speaker 3: and they don't have helmets, and they just.
Speaker 1: Like yeah, they're like, okay, we're going to go out
Speaker 1: now here we go and New Yorkers are going get
Speaker 1: off off that bike.
Speaker 3: But I'm amazed that no one has been hurt doing wonderfully.
Speaker 1: That really is this thing that works itself out of Yeah,
Speaker 1: all of a sudden you see them and it's like,
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, even angels are flying behind him,
Speaker 1: going please killed.
Speaker 2: But it's sweet.
Speaker 1: You're right. It is basically Europeans going, how do I
Speaker 1: get downtown? Follow the numbers, the numbers get lower. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's there. The next topic aware are you Brooklyn? Welcome?
Speaker 1: But you're right, no helmets. There should be a little
Speaker 1: hand that says THETT, some sort of safety device, bubble
Speaker 1: wrap or a small just a little like maybe a
Speaker 1: condom something fun.
Speaker 3: But don't you think for New Yorkers they're just sinking,
Speaker 3: like it's so hard every day not to just go
Speaker 3: like you know.
Speaker 1: What I mean, like, oh, I ride my bike in
Speaker 1: La and that's that's where it really gets kind of crazy.
Speaker 1: I mean, oh really, I'll be writing. The weird thing
Speaker 1: is I've been living in La now because of the show.
Speaker 1: I don't do very well. And I got stopped by
Speaker 1: a cop once in LA and he gave me a
Speaker 1: script instead of a ticket. It was like you when here,
Speaker 1: you're here, miss Williams. Howay, And if if you don't
Speaker 1: like this, please give it to Eddi Murpha's writing by
Speaker 1: in La is truly kind of dangerous because you'd be
Speaker 1: in and all of a sudden they really do it
Speaker 1: because everyone's like, you know, they're all talking, they're texting
Speaker 1: and everything and you just have to be like, but.
Speaker 2: You're for real though, you don't you take this very seriously.
Speaker 3: You've done bike tracks like you've done you know, two
Speaker 3: weeks going across like continents and stuff like.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I'm not that serious.
Speaker 2: Oh really I.
Speaker 3: Thought, didn't you train with like, uh, the guy who
Speaker 3: won the Tour de France.
Speaker 2: Greg Lamond or something like that, and like rode with
Speaker 2: him for a little bit.
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I wrote with him one time, and I used to
Speaker 1: ride with Lance and the old day. Oh really you
Speaker 1: used to ride behind the unibowler.
Speaker 2: Did you really? You you rode with Lance? I rode
Speaker 2: with him.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Want to talk, but he's like, he's so good,
Speaker 1: he'd be on the phone. He's been doing all this stuff.
Speaker 1: He's been his hands free.
Speaker 2: I'm like, you bastard, right, but he tears it up. Now,
Speaker 2: what is this? You're back doing a series? Yes, in
Speaker 2: l A, in l A.
Speaker 1: Why it's a job, brother, it's a job. But it
Speaker 1: was also David Kelly.
Speaker 2: I had a meeting with him. Black guys believe it's
Speaker 2: a sweet.
Speaker 1: Good man and a wonderful guy to work with him.
Speaker 1: He's a tough laugh though, yeah he doesn't laugh as
Speaker 1: much you do something really funny and this is all
Speaker 1: you're getting. You're like, huh nothing, It's like, you know,
Speaker 1: it'd be like that's like a standing ovation fit. But
Speaker 1: he's a great writer, and I thought, Okay, I'll take
Speaker 1: a shot with you and go.
Speaker 2: You know, now, is it hard for you with a
Speaker 2: guy like that? I think that's probably hard because.
Speaker 1: Well, when I did more coh Manty years ago, like
Speaker 1: you go back thirty two years ago, when I did
Speaker 1: more committed thirty two years there's take back. Then there
Speaker 1: are only three networks and the only thing that was
Speaker 1: wired was me. I was on everything but skates. But
Speaker 1: it was crazy.
Speaker 2: I know, I know, I know. I've read the story.
Speaker 1: Yes, I went to rehabit Wine Country just to keep
Speaker 1: my options open.
Speaker 2: How does it feel now?
Speaker 3: Do you feel like this is the so Brian and
Speaker 3: the learning that you've done. Is it a new lease
Speaker 3: on life? Do you feel like the person?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Like what is it? Does the brain?
Speaker 3: Were you worried when I remember when I quit doing
Speaker 3: drugs and smoking?
Speaker 1: You remember that now?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: I do, But I remember being very fearful that I
Speaker 3: would lose my ability to work, to.
Speaker 2: Be funny or to write that. I thought that they
Speaker 2: were somehow, But I think that's connected.
Speaker 1: Well, I think there's a there's like there's there's a
Speaker 1: higher power. There's also a lower power.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's the lower.
Speaker 1: Power that goes text that girl with it and show
Speaker 1: her pictures of your trunkts Okay, she's not going to
Speaker 1: share that with anybody, And the same lower power goes,
Speaker 1: you know you need this, come on now.
Speaker 2: There was I relapsed.
Speaker 1: I was up in Alaska and all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: I hadn't been sober for twenty years, and all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, I walked into a store and so a
Speaker 1: little bottle of Jack Daniels and went, ah, that'd be fine.
Speaker 1: I'll be okay. The moment I had the first sip,
Speaker 1: it was like, all of a sudden.
Speaker 2: Was like WHOA come back out.
Speaker 1: A week later, I was walking down the street and
Speaker 1: with like ten little bottles of Jack Daniels in my pockets.
Speaker 1: I sounded like a wind chime. It was like, but
Speaker 1: and I got really quick. I got down so quick.
Speaker 1: So I went right to blackouts. And it's a misnomer.
Speaker 1: They call it blackouts.
Speaker 2: It's not.
Speaker 1: It's like sleepwalking with activities. That's your brain going we're
Speaker 1: gonna do stuff You're not gonna know. You wake up
Speaker 1: in a small field going where am I E MA,
Speaker 1: it's just crazy. But I think that's the illusion. And
Speaker 1: I think like, you come through and you realize, yes,
Speaker 1: you can create better, you can get back, and it's
Speaker 1: just coming. And the main, the main operative word is fear.
Speaker 1: And like you said, the fear is there and you
Speaker 1: try and overcome it with that. But you know, if
Speaker 1: you can deal with the fear and then realize some
Speaker 1: of the real some of it isn't and then come
Speaker 1: through that, you get deeper boss.
Speaker 2: You get deep deep.
Speaker 3: And the lifestyle is so conducive to that type because
Speaker 3: we are generally bored individuals and we're working forty minutes
Speaker 3: a night in Winnipeg for two straight weeks and there's
Speaker 3: no that is.
Speaker 2: Don't make them angry. They're Canadians. Let me just say this,
Speaker 2: let me just let me paint this.
Speaker 1: You're the nicest country in the world. You're like, you're
Speaker 1: like a suite apartment over a meth lab.
Speaker 2: It's really but it is that idea of like.
Speaker 3: And so during the day, you don't have anything to
Speaker 3: do with yourself and you think like, I.
Speaker 2: Bet I could make a crack pipe. You know what
Speaker 2: I mean. You know, it's like, hey, why do we
Speaker 2: why don't we have a project. That's like when does
Speaker 2: your lower voice have activities? It's got hobbies, Like I'm
Speaker 2: making a crack pipe and send it to camp and
Speaker 2: then see what happens. You do? How you doing? I'm
Speaker 2: doing good.
Speaker 4: I miss you, you're I was telling you this back
Speaker 4: to one of the few comics when I don't hear
Speaker 4: your comedic voice for all, I miss it.
Speaker 2: It's so funny and so I'm so glad to see
Speaker 2: you coming back. Listen, man, I like all your politics.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Norm.
Speaker 4: I appreciate that now they're there. You're Canadian. Your government
Speaker 4: has collapsed.
Speaker 3: It's completely as, it's completely collimbed.
Speaker 5: Well the good the good thing is it doesn't matter
Speaker 5: at all. This is why, you know, because you're such
Speaker 5: a plug guy. And I realized when I came here
Speaker 5: because I was never political, and it's because you're from
Speaker 5: America and I'm from Canada. And in America you have
Speaker 5: a duty to be political because you vote for the
Speaker 5: wrong guy.
Speaker 2: He blows up the world.
Speaker 5: Now in Canada, here's our elections in Canada, go, hey, listen,
Speaker 5: how does that guy stand on the bridge building? It's
Speaker 5: always that's every time one guy goes, I think we
Speaker 5: should build a bridge. The other guy's had, uh no
Speaker 5: care for the bridge. So it's all bridge based. Got No,
Speaker 5: they don't. They never gave us no red phone. You know,
Speaker 5: your president. I thought you were political.
Speaker 2: No, I didn't realize. Here's you're not real president has
Speaker 2: a red phone.
Speaker 3: Here's what it's come to be in America.
Speaker 5: And you're the most trusted man.
Speaker 2: Not trusted.
Speaker 4: It seems like now no matter who we vote for,
Speaker 4: no matter which guy we get, we still blow it
Speaker 4: out of the world.
Speaker 2: So at a certain.
Speaker 4: Point, maybe we just like blowing stuff up Americans.
Speaker 5: Well, I listen, if I was president, man, I get
Speaker 5: on that red phone right away and blow something.
Speaker 2: Huh what would you blow up first? Or I blow up?
Speaker 5: Yeah, the stupid high school I went to. But listen, man,
Speaker 5: I'll tell you this though, uh with you know this,
Speaker 5: with the streets of Libya running with blood, Okay.
Speaker 2: I'll buy your premise.
Speaker 5: Listen. The Egyptians are so brave, you know, and then
Speaker 5: and the then, the then, as in TRIPLEI trying to
Speaker 5: take over and the Bahraine. Here's what I'm trying to
Speaker 5: get at. I'm from Canada. We got a queen. She
Speaker 5: lives in England, right, we're so, we're so we can't
Speaker 5: get Seriously, I could get a bunch of buddies of mine.
Speaker 5: I swear to god, I could get two or three
Speaker 5: dozen buddies of mine. We could go over to Buckingham
Speaker 5: Palace takeover.
Speaker 2: I would totally do that with you.
Speaker 5: It's an old bag in a castle.
Speaker 4: You know what is the most difficult part of that
Speaker 4: finding which room she's in.
Speaker 2: Do you have any idea if you go to attack her,
Speaker 2: there's like one hundred and thirty rooms.
Speaker 3: We'd probably lose interest.
Speaker 5: Oh, I saw you mean?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: But you know Kadafi is surrounded by what is he
Speaker 5: surrounded by bahrrange?
Speaker 2: He was surrounded by like dancing girls. He's crazy. Yeah,
Speaker 2: he's a nutbag. Now he likes the ladies. That's what
Speaker 2: I heard.
Speaker 4: Did you know he had the He has a Ukrainian
Speaker 4: nurse who apparently.
Speaker 2: He follows her everywhere.
Speaker 5: Yeah, pretends he's a nurse. But I've heard that maybe
Speaker 5: there's a little hanky panky going on. Listen, I don't
Speaker 5: want a bad mouth Kadaffy. I want to talk about
Speaker 5: Watson the computer.
Speaker 2: Oh, let's talk about that. I'm happy to talk.
Speaker 5: About that character.
Speaker 2: I love that guy. He was on Jeopardy. Crush.
Speaker 5: He was on Jeopardy and he crushed you guys know
Speaker 5: Watson the computer. Sure, yeah, so uh and I watched
Speaker 5: it was cool and the funny thing was like they
Speaker 5: were like, I wonder if who's gonna win, Watson the
Speaker 5: computer or that guy that works down at the hat store.
Speaker 5: And uh, first of all, I don't think you should
Speaker 5: be called Watson because it wasn't Watson, the guy who
Speaker 5: didn't know Sherlock. Watson was like, hey what and then
Speaker 5: you go elementary, my idiot, So he should have been
Speaker 5: called Sheryld.
Speaker 2: Anyways, you know it's a good sign.
Speaker 5: So uh what So Watson naturally beat he's a computer,
Speaker 5: crushed him, killed him, you know. And even his stories
Speaker 5: were better, you know what I.
Speaker 2: Mean, but they were didn't.
Speaker 5: Stand Like when Alex Beck would say the story, Watson,
Speaker 5: I understand you have a story about jail, you know,
Speaker 5: and then Watson was like, yes, one time Oscar Wilde
Speaker 5: was in prison and George Bernard Shock came to him
Speaker 5: and said why, Oscar, what are you doing in there? Uh,
Speaker 5: to which Oscar Wilde quickly retorted, why George Bernard, what
Speaker 5: are you doing out there?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 5: And the guy next to him like, god damn, I
Speaker 5: was gonna tell my story about the hat. I get
Speaker 5: the guy the wrong hat.
Speaker 1: That time.
Speaker 2: We got when is this show come on? When is
Speaker 2: the show come on?
Speaker 4: There Lewis was the host of It was uncommon, especially
Speaker 4: I was twenty four and you looked like me back then.
Speaker 6: You were in ten and I was about twenty one.
Speaker 4: You know, why have you I keep having you back
Speaker 4: on the show to find out what I'm going to
Speaker 4: look like.
Speaker 2: I keep I keep bringing you on. I brought you
Speaker 2: on right now. I go, all right, let'd be fine.
Speaker 2: Better than that I want. I was.
Speaker 6: I could have gone to Woodstock, but it was drizzling
Speaker 6: and I stayed home.
Speaker 2: Okay, but I went to a.
Speaker 6: Lot of stuff when I was sixteen seventeen. Now, if
Speaker 6: I had anybody in that mug, he could have been
Speaker 6: my son, and I would have been unbelievable. I love it.
Speaker 2: And you know what, I don't I tell you something.
Speaker 4: It's oh that was nicer than anything my real father ever.
Speaker 2: Said, Here's the nice thing I ever said to me.
Speaker 4: You like something that happened when I sat something in
Speaker 4: the mud.
Speaker 6: No, but you would have been my son, and I
Speaker 6: would have been proud of you. But I would have
Speaker 6: asked you for one thing money.
Speaker 2: Do you remember the first thing I.
Speaker 3: Met you at Carolines? I opened for you at Caroline's when.
Speaker 6: It was still at the seaport, back in like the
Speaker 6: early eighties, back in.
Speaker 2: The mid late eighties. A.
Speaker 4: Do you remember the first thing you ever said to me?
Speaker 4: First line, I'll never forget.
Speaker 6: You could have been my son if I someone in
Speaker 6: the mud.
Speaker 2: The first thing Richard Lewis ever said to me in
Speaker 2: my life.
Speaker 4: And I was a huge fan and remain a huge
Speaker 4: fan than was.
Speaker 2: I have terrible diarrhea. I said that.
Speaker 4: It was the first line who ever said to that?
Speaker 2: I have terrible DIARYE. I'm sorry. I was coming back
Speaker 2: back of Caroline.
Speaker 4: Remember there was no green room. I was going to
Speaker 4: put my coat back, and I had my coat right
Speaker 4: up on the hook, and all of a sudden I
Speaker 4: hear from the corner, I have terrible diarrhea.
Speaker 6: I let me just jump this uping about about nine
Speaker 6: months ago, I did the Fallon.
Speaker 2: Show, but two nights before.
Speaker 6: Yes, he's true, I know, and I had food poisoning,
Speaker 6: so my wife was with me, my publicsher. You can't
Speaker 6: go on because no matter what.
Speaker 2: I've done in my career.
Speaker 6: Yes, if I would have taken took it, taken a dump,
Speaker 6: it would have been Wikipedia on the Fallon Show.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do you a favor. No, I gotta fill.
Speaker 2: Let me be a favor.
Speaker 6: I can't finish the story. I got twenty five seconds.
Speaker 2: You can finish it when I've done with a favorite.
Speaker 6: You know, I would have had you as a cidderfy
Speaker 6: somebody would settle down.
Speaker 3: Wikipedia take care of that for him.
Speaker 2: They're gonna write it down for you. Let me just
Speaker 2: get keep going. I'll do it fast because I don't.
Speaker 6: I hate it because I never lit a sentence. You go,
Speaker 6: brig A loans everybody, and I could get a stroke.
Speaker 2: I could get a stroke.
Speaker 6: I'm in my sixties. Now, listen, what happened?
Speaker 2: Are you take the sixties?
Speaker 6: I'm in my sixth Please you.
Speaker 2: Look terrible sixty. I shave for you. I even probably
Speaker 2: dressed up when you came out.
Speaker 4: I swear to god, I thought the Bible has come alive.
Speaker 2: I had no sixties.
Speaker 5: And why did they always put the.
Speaker 2: Bible in the hotel room.
Speaker 6: I want a Jewish delicatestent takeout order.
Speaker 2: On the other side.
Speaker 6: I mean, I kid the Mormons, but I you know,
Speaker 6: I don't care about the salt leg I want a
Speaker 6: Pistrami sandwich. So anyway, so I had, I had a
Speaker 6: summer port. You know, when you have that, you're on
Speaker 6: the toilet for twenty eight hours.
Speaker 2: And I had I had you eating what had you eaten?
Speaker 6: It was a food poisoning and I had a recovery.
Speaker 2: No, that's what it is. I know.
Speaker 6: My wife says, you can't go on foul, and my
Speaker 6: public says, we got to I'm not canceling. I didn't show,
Speaker 6: must go on.
Speaker 2: So she won.
Speaker 6: I said, do me a favor, get me depends so
Speaker 6: in case it happens, no one will know.
Speaker 2: I mean, Fallon could have been like a porkmon. He
Speaker 2: could have done that.
Speaker 6: But I didn't do anything.
Speaker 2: But you got me like this.
Speaker 6: Calvin. They come that with Calvin Klein. Can I stand
Speaker 6: up at the camp? So they put the Calvin kline
Speaker 6: in and it sucks your stomach in like a girdle.
Speaker 6: So I looked like a million dollars. So they said,
Speaker 6: let you John Riche Lewis, how's everything going?
Speaker 2: And so I told my wife.
Speaker 5: So when I did the show, it went well.
Speaker 6: And then I went out and snuck out and bought
Speaker 6: twelve pair.
Speaker 2: So the whole trip in.
Speaker 6: New York, my wife's friends, he looks great for sixty.
Speaker 2: He'll tell you something, how many dollars? Oh, I know
Speaker 2: how much you have but mine and a half.
Speaker 4: No, But that is what in terms of a billboard
Speaker 4: in Times Square for Calvin Klein.
Speaker 1: Lewis.
Speaker 2: And it depends