1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:04,440 Speaker 1: Welcome one and all to the Professional Homegirl Podcast. Before 2 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: we begin today's episode, we want to remind you that 3 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:09,399 Speaker 1: the views and opinions expressed on this podcast are those 4 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:12,200 Speaker 1: of the hosts and guests and are intended for educational 5 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 1: and entertaining purposes. In this safe space, no question is 6 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:19,280 Speaker 1: off limits because you never know how someone's storyline can 7 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,560 Speaker 1: be your lifeline. The Professional Homegirl Podcast is here to 8 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:26,240 Speaker 1: celebrate the diverse voices, stories and experiences of women of color, 9 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:30,200 Speaker 1: providing a platform for authentic and empowering conversations. There will 10 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:33,600 Speaker 1: be some key king, some tears, but most importantly a 11 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:37,919 Speaker 1: reminder that tough times don't last, but professional homegirls do 12 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:39,320 Speaker 1: enjoy the show. 13 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:52,199 Speaker 2: What's up Professional Homegirls? Ishagarra Ebine here and we are 14 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:56,320 Speaker 2: back with a fire conversation. But before we dive in, 15 00:00:56,800 --> 00:01:00,720 Speaker 2: let's check out some professional homegirl now. Now, if you 16 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,880 Speaker 2: would like to share your thoughts about an episode, or 17 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 2: you just want to say hey girl, hey, make sure 18 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:10,520 Speaker 2: to send your emails to hello at thephgpodcast dot com. Okay, 19 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:15,640 Speaker 2: here's what this professional homegirl wrote. First off, thank you 20 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:18,000 Speaker 2: so much for this podcast and the work you do 21 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 2: to get all these incredible stories out for these women. 22 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:24,320 Speaker 2: It has impacted me in many ways, but none more 23 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:28,919 Speaker 2: significant than your episode. My stepfather gave me her bees. 24 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:33,160 Speaker 2: My twin sister and I were sexually abused by, among 25 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 2: other things, by my stepfather for nine years while my 26 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:39,319 Speaker 2: mother was living in the same house, and she says 27 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,399 Speaker 2: she didn't know anything was going on. I have never 28 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,960 Speaker 2: resonated more with a person than with your guests and 29 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 2: the small peak she gave into the deep complexities that 30 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:51,240 Speaker 2: came with being a survivor and trying to live your 31 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 2: life with the pieces you have left. The crazy part 32 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:57,440 Speaker 2: was that it was just also my birthday and I 33 00:01:57,480 --> 00:02:00,200 Speaker 2: am also thirty eight years old, just like your guest, 34 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,080 Speaker 2: so you can see why I had to stop in 35 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:05,080 Speaker 2: shock to listen to this story. I wanted to reach 36 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:06,960 Speaker 2: out to see if you can pass on my email 37 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,960 Speaker 2: address to this guest if she is interested in talking sometime. 38 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:13,360 Speaker 2: If not, I completely understand and respect the privacy of 39 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,799 Speaker 2: your guests, but I had to put it out there 40 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:18,560 Speaker 2: since I have a hard time finding people who went 41 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:22,960 Speaker 2: through similar experiences. Again, thank you for all you do. 42 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 2: Your commitment to hard work combined with your natural talent. Yes, 43 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:30,200 Speaker 2: natural talent come on now truly shows in your well 44 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:31,320 Speaker 2: produced podcast. 45 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:31,760 Speaker 3: Come on. 46 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:35,480 Speaker 2: Shout out to Taylor, Well done girl. I hope this 47 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:39,440 Speaker 2: message finds you well. Thank you to that professional homegirl 48 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:41,640 Speaker 2: for sharing. Now, if you would like to connect with 49 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,520 Speaker 2: any of my guests, I have no problem facilitating that 50 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:47,280 Speaker 2: as long as that guest is okay with it, So 51 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,639 Speaker 2: please make sure to submit your love letters to Hello 52 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 2: at thepagpodcast dot com. Now, this week's episode was originally 53 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 2: planned for Father's Day, but as you all know, I 54 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:01,240 Speaker 2: was traveling and also working hard. Done two dollars hope, 55 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 2: So here we are now. Our male guest is a 56 00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 2: dear friend of mine. He shared business pieces of his 57 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,200 Speaker 2: life with me when we first met, and I just 58 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:13,760 Speaker 2: had to have him on the show. My guest recounts 59 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:16,280 Speaker 2: his journey of being in a relationship with a woman 60 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:19,440 Speaker 2: who gave birth to twins. She told him he was 61 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 2: the father, but checked this out a lie detective proved 62 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 2: that he was not the father. He shares his emotions 63 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:30,120 Speaker 2: during that time, giving up a promising basketball career for 64 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 2: the children he thought were his, and reveals that to 65 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,960 Speaker 2: this day, y'all, the twins still don't know that he 66 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:38,120 Speaker 2: isn't their father. 67 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:39,560 Speaker 3: Man. 68 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:42,640 Speaker 2: Y'all get ready for another addition to our men series. 69 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:47,040 Speaker 2: She knew I was not the father. Starting now, all 70 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 2: right to my guests, thank you so much for being 71 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 2: on the show. Y'all. We literally been like key key 72 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 2: in like for what almost like twenty minutessh yeah right, y'all. 73 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 2: I love this man. I feel like when we first met, no, please, 74 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:05,360 Speaker 2: like we first met at a Saint Jude event, and 75 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 2: you know the joke I said, by Saint Jude because 76 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,560 Speaker 2: I met so many great people there and I was like, Damn, 77 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,160 Speaker 2: Saint Jude, like her bees, It's like the gift that 78 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:18,279 Speaker 2: keeps on gifting. I'm joking Saint you, but I really 79 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:22,440 Speaker 2: I have met some really amazing people. And say Jude, 80 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:27,039 Speaker 2: but we met, I met his lovely wife, who is 81 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:30,120 Speaker 2: also I mean, everyone's obsessed with you and your wife, 82 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:33,120 Speaker 2: but I don't know how. I mean, you got into 83 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:35,840 Speaker 2: the corner and we just started talking about everything. 84 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:40,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it was meant to be. That's all we got. 85 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:44,120 Speaker 2: Yes, we was talking about love, he was giving me advice. 86 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,679 Speaker 2: We was talking about when you talking about your personal growth, 87 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 2: and then we talked on the subject of fatherhood and 88 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,479 Speaker 2: I shared my experience with me and my father for 89 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:54,400 Speaker 2: the first time a couple of years ago. So when 90 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:56,160 Speaker 2: you told me your story, I was like, oh my god. 91 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:59,280 Speaker 2: I got to have him on the show some way, somehow. 92 00:04:58,920 --> 00:04:59,800 Speaker 3: On New York Connection. 93 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:01,599 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was a New York Connection. 94 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,320 Speaker 3: I was like, all right, it's a rot right. 95 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:07,480 Speaker 2: So I was going to say before the show started, y'all. 96 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,440 Speaker 2: He asked me. He was like, so is this PG? 97 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:11,640 Speaker 2: And I was the question I had was like, love, 98 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,520 Speaker 2: So listener, we're gonna talk like how we talk. You 99 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:16,120 Speaker 2: want to be politically correct because he is a well 100 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:17,040 Speaker 2: known figure, y'all. 101 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,800 Speaker 3: I can't be politically correct. I would have just been like, 102 00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:22,240 Speaker 3: I can't do. 103 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:26,560 Speaker 2: The interview, but can't do it like y'all. The way 104 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,560 Speaker 2: you be talking, y'all, we thought it was two grown 105 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:29,480 Speaker 2: ass men talking. 106 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's real. I love it. 107 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:32,600 Speaker 4: Right. 108 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:35,640 Speaker 2: So, once again, thank you so much. I really appreciate 109 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:37,080 Speaker 2: you coming on the show and sharing your story. 110 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:39,039 Speaker 3: Thanks for having me, Thanks for having me on. I 111 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,080 Speaker 3: appreciate it. I'm excited to share my story. 112 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, Now, before we get into your story, what 113 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:48,159 Speaker 2: did fatherhood mean to you before you experience what you did? 114 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:50,279 Speaker 3: Good question? 115 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:54,080 Speaker 2: Oh, you know I'm gonna get my opron, all right? 116 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 3: What did it mean to me? To me, that was 117 00:05:56,120 --> 00:06:00,480 Speaker 3: a really good question, you know, growing up in Brooklyn, 118 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:06,200 Speaker 3: like we discussed, my father wasn't a rap and I 119 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:09,799 Speaker 3: was raised by a single mother who raised five kids, 120 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:17,719 Speaker 3: actually six, and throughout that time, my other siblings they 121 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:22,840 Speaker 3: had fathers, but I didn't. My half brother, half sisters 122 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:25,719 Speaker 3: was still a family. So as a kid, it always 123 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 3: bothered me. It was like, what's wrong with me? Why 124 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:31,880 Speaker 3: don't I have a father? So once I hit the streets, 125 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,800 Speaker 3: that was even hard because there was no male guidance 126 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 3: for me. So I had to learn everything on my own. 127 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 3: Problems in life that I counted prices, I had to 128 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:46,240 Speaker 3: deal with it on my own. So I had to 129 00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 3: become my own man. And as a kid, I even played. 130 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,560 Speaker 3: I was really good at sports, and I was a 131 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,360 Speaker 3: kid that would go to the literal league game or 132 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,680 Speaker 3: basketball games that's playing and all the other fathers would 133 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 3: be looking at me like, damn we should this was 134 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:00,920 Speaker 3: my kid. 135 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:04,240 Speaker 2: I know, you know niggas mean tight when they son 136 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:06,080 Speaker 2: sucking basketball. 137 00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:08,640 Speaker 3: Exactly, I'm looking at them like Darren Hey shouts my 138 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:14,880 Speaker 3: dad right, So it was really hard growing up without 139 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:20,440 Speaker 3: a father. So for me, I always knew that I 140 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:23,760 Speaker 3: was going to become a father. And when I would 141 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,920 Speaker 3: become a father, there was no infens and bucks about it. 142 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,400 Speaker 3: I was going to be a great father, great dad. 143 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,720 Speaker 3: I was gonna love the fuck out of my kids, right, 144 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:35,480 Speaker 3: and so I was. So it was something really special 145 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,880 Speaker 3: to me to become a father. Right. 146 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:41,280 Speaker 2: That's one of my questions. How do you think I 147 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,520 Speaker 2: think a man's relationship with his own father or lack 148 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:47,160 Speaker 2: of a father figure affects his approach to fatherhood, because 149 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:48,400 Speaker 2: it can go both ways. 150 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:50,800 Speaker 3: Can go both ways. It can go both ways. You 151 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 3: can kind of mimic your father. Let's say he wasn't 152 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:56,280 Speaker 3: a positive role model or he wasn't around. You could 153 00:07:56,680 --> 00:08:02,880 Speaker 3: either become like him or come the opposite nothing. And 154 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:07,960 Speaker 3: for me, I chose to become the opposite. And even 155 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,600 Speaker 3: though there were things about me that would would I 156 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:13,200 Speaker 3: have some of my father's traits, especially according to my mother, 157 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:20,360 Speaker 3: so real talk here, she would only say pretty much 158 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 3: negative things about it. And I never really I never 159 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 3: met him, and she said, but the only thing I 160 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,400 Speaker 3: will say good about him, she had a big dick 161 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:33,560 Speaker 3: and pussy. Really, I was like what what, I'll take 162 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 3: that one. That what I got like that? Yeah, thanks Fox, 163 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,240 Speaker 3: but there's nothing else. All right, I'm good. I'm gonna 164 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:44,080 Speaker 3: go with that. That's real. She said that, and it 165 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:47,679 Speaker 3: was always it was, it was, that's what. That's what moms. 166 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 4: I love. 167 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,280 Speaker 3: She's real. You know what I'm saying from. 168 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:52,840 Speaker 2: New York too, right, Oh yeah, oh yeah, I. 169 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 3: Know, Oh yeah, oh yeah. Yeah. She kept the real 170 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:57,520 Speaker 3: with me, you know, to this day, I bring it 171 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:59,559 Speaker 3: up and she still tells me, like, hey, it was 172 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:02,400 Speaker 3: the truth. He wasn't ship, but he had that going on. 173 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,600 Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, I'm good. 174 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,560 Speaker 3: I'm grateful. I'm grateful. Oh no. So, I was just 175 00:09:07,559 --> 00:09:10,040 Speaker 3: saying I chose to go to the opposite route and 176 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 3: to be there, to show up, to be a present 177 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:18,240 Speaker 3: father and that and that that inspired me. I don't 178 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:21,920 Speaker 3: want to jump too far ahead, but and if I do, 179 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:23,600 Speaker 3: just slow me down. Mh. 180 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:24,480 Speaker 4: So. 181 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:27,960 Speaker 3: I had never met my father because he left when 182 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:32,960 Speaker 3: I was really little. And one day I was like sixteen, 183 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,840 Speaker 3: and I was with my mother in downtown Brooklyn. She 184 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,160 Speaker 3: was in the store shopping and I was in the 185 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,960 Speaker 3: store with her, and I was like, you know, I'm 186 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,439 Speaker 3: gonna go outside and wait for you. So went outside, 187 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:48,440 Speaker 3: crowded street, right, I'm just out there, and this man 188 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:51,840 Speaker 3: passes by me, and my spirit was like, wait a minute. 189 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,200 Speaker 3: I ran in the store and I was like, mam, 190 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:58,720 Speaker 3: come in, come in, like, Co'm in line. Hold outside. 191 00:09:58,760 --> 00:09:59,640 Speaker 1: She's like, yeah, what you're doing? 192 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,120 Speaker 3: I took outside. I was like, is that my father? 193 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:07,040 Speaker 3: And she was like what are you talking? Oh my god, how. 194 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:10,040 Speaker 2: Did you know? I told you? But like, what did 195 00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:10,560 Speaker 2: that feel like? 196 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:14,520 Speaker 3: That was it? It was annoying. It was like a connection. 197 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,040 Speaker 3: And there was this was crowded, broke downtown Brooklyn. 198 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:20,079 Speaker 2: So that's crazy. 199 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, that was crazy. My mother was blowing away, so 200 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:25,200 Speaker 3: she called them over and it came over. But he 201 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:26,880 Speaker 3: was trying to talk to me and connect with me. 202 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,600 Speaker 3: But I wasn't having it because I was already mad 203 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:33,079 Speaker 3: because all those years of him not being there, and 204 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:35,199 Speaker 3: all those years my mother telling me things about him, 205 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:39,440 Speaker 3: negative things. I was pissed. I was I was being 206 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:42,280 Speaker 3: a dick to her. And so then he came to 207 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,439 Speaker 3: visit me, and it was still I was just now 208 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:47,920 Speaker 3: now enough, now, enough, now some my comments on me 209 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,760 Speaker 3: A little thing he said, and and so he just 210 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:55,440 Speaker 3: stopped showing up again and that that was it. And 211 00:10:56,880 --> 00:11:03,280 Speaker 3: so fast forward years later. I'm in my forties, I'm 212 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:06,280 Speaker 3: a man, I've been through life, and I get a 213 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:11,200 Speaker 3: call one day, this is your dad. What it's like, 214 00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 3: I'm so sorry, son. I wasn't there. I was in prison, 215 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:15,840 Speaker 3: and this is nine. I had this going on, that 216 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:20,439 Speaker 3: going on, and I was like, yo, stop right stop, 217 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,360 Speaker 3: and he was like, what what do you mean? I 218 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,640 Speaker 3: was like, check this out. You're a man, You're a 219 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:29,000 Speaker 3: grown ass man. I'm a grown ass man. I never 220 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,160 Speaker 3: walked in your shoes. I don't know what you've been through, 221 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,360 Speaker 3: so who am I to judge you? That's like, I 222 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,960 Speaker 3: don't want anybody judging me. We can't do anything about 223 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,080 Speaker 3: the past. The past is the past. But what we 224 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,959 Speaker 3: can do is start from today. So let's start we're 225 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,760 Speaker 3: at now. Let's just be grateful we've connected. But take 226 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:46,560 Speaker 3: it from that. And he just broke down crying and 227 00:11:46,559 --> 00:11:48,520 Speaker 3: he was like, yoh my god, son, I'm so grateful 228 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:53,040 Speaker 3: that you know that you're open to me. And so 229 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:55,600 Speaker 3: I'm excited because I'm like, okay, I'll be king the man. 230 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:58,440 Speaker 3: I am pretty much on my own right. Thank you 231 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:01,559 Speaker 3: mom for your contribution. But it was, you know, putting 232 00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:05,440 Speaker 3: that g work. So I'm thinking, like, Okay, my dad's 233 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:08,440 Speaker 3: finally here. If I'm like this, he's gonna be like well. 234 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:11,960 Speaker 3: And for the next couple of weeks we were on 235 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 3: the phone every day and I was searching. I was 236 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:17,439 Speaker 3: looking for these nuggets and this knowledge and this thing 237 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:20,560 Speaker 3: that I was missing, and it was never it never came. 238 00:12:21,559 --> 00:12:23,480 Speaker 3: It was like in order to communicate with him, and 239 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,960 Speaker 3: he was a brilliant man in his own way, but 240 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,200 Speaker 3: it was like I had to come down. I'm trying 241 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:29,520 Speaker 3: to get on my knees to talk to him on 242 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:31,920 Speaker 3: a level that he can understand. And so it was 243 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:36,400 Speaker 3: like I was a father and he was. And one 244 00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:39,960 Speaker 3: day he said to me, yeah. And one day he 245 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:45,280 Speaker 3: said to me, you know what, son, it's I'm so 246 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:47,040 Speaker 3: sorry that I wasn't there for you. And I told him, 247 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,200 Speaker 3: you know what, it's okay. Actually I think it was 248 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:50,680 Speaker 3: a good thing that you wasn't there. He's like, what 249 00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:53,200 Speaker 3: do you mean, And I said, because by you not 250 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,920 Speaker 3: being a father to me, by showing up and being 251 00:12:55,920 --> 00:13:00,160 Speaker 3: there for me, I really grew up realizing import and 252 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,600 Speaker 3: so being a great diy and that inspired me to 253 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:05,560 Speaker 3: be a great day and now I'm I'm an amazing 254 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,600 Speaker 3: DIY because of that experience. So I wouldn't change your thing. 255 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,640 Speaker 3: I'm grateful. And he started breaking down and crying and 256 00:13:11,679 --> 00:13:15,120 Speaker 3: he was like, you know what, You're right because if 257 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:16,720 Speaker 3: you would have been around me, I would have fucked 258 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:17,280 Speaker 3: up your life. 259 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:18,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, we would. 260 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:20,240 Speaker 3: You have another brother, and I fucked up his life. 261 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:22,640 Speaker 3: I brought him into my drug business and he took 262 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:25,600 Speaker 3: you got it killed somebody for me. He's doing time 263 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,160 Speaker 3: and if I pulled you in, hol did them the 264 00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:28,080 Speaker 3: same thing with you. 265 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:28,400 Speaker 4: Wow. 266 00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:29,199 Speaker 3: So you're right. 267 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:33,480 Speaker 2: So that's so funny. You said that because my aunt, 268 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,320 Speaker 2: because I remember I shared with you, like I haven't. 269 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:38,400 Speaker 2: I never met my father before, and my father he's 270 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,360 Speaker 2: a crackhead. My mom is an alcoholic. And we was 271 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:43,760 Speaker 2: I sung to my aunt and she was getting emotional 272 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:46,120 Speaker 2: and she was like, yo, you really made it because 273 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:49,000 Speaker 2: she was like she was like, you know, people always 274 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,800 Speaker 2: say they wish they had their parents. She was like, 275 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,440 Speaker 2: and you didn't have your parents, and look how you 276 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:55,240 Speaker 2: turned out. So the fact that he said that that, 277 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:56,640 Speaker 2: like that shit can really happen. 278 00:13:57,200 --> 00:14:00,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have no doubt. I was saying, E, 279 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,040 Speaker 3: I p I. When we teach all of our clients 280 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:06,360 Speaker 3: this e I P. Everything is perfect. There are no accidents, 281 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,000 Speaker 3: there are no mistakes. Everything that's unfolding is unfolding for 282 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:12,679 Speaker 3: my grade good. The universe placed chess, not checkers. So 283 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,600 Speaker 3: with something unfolds, you think it's negative. Now it's actually 284 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,760 Speaker 3: looking off for you down the line, you look back 285 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:19,680 Speaker 3: and be like, oh shit, I'm grateful it worked out 286 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:21,880 Speaker 3: like that. So for me now it was a man 287 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:25,000 Speaker 3: no matter what what unfolds, even if it's something I'm 288 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,960 Speaker 3: not crazy about, I have gratitude and appreciation for it 289 00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:30,560 Speaker 3: because I have faith that it's for a purpose, A 290 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:33,920 Speaker 3: greater purpose is concerned, and so I don't trip on it. 291 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 3: It's like, okay, except keep it pushing. So, like I said, 292 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:42,320 Speaker 3: I'm talking. I had to come down and talk to him. 293 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:47,840 Speaker 3: I'm just teaching him. I'm he's soaking it up. But 294 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:51,240 Speaker 3: the other part of the story was that while he 295 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:56,560 Speaker 3: was in prison and the drug business, he got he 296 00:14:56,640 --> 00:15:02,680 Speaker 3: started doing heroin and he got he caught AIDS from 297 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:07,920 Speaker 3: from the heroin addiction, right, so he had full blown aids. 298 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:11,720 Speaker 3: When we were communicating, talking and he told me, but 299 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:13,360 Speaker 3: he was like, you know, but I'm doing medication. I'm 300 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:19,440 Speaker 3: doing better, I'm sing clean. So he died probably a 301 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,160 Speaker 3: couple of weeks later. So I think I had a 302 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 3: total of maybe a month with him. Wait for me, No, 303 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,160 Speaker 3: I was planning a trip to New because I was 304 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,000 Speaker 3: in California and I was planning a trip to New York. 305 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:38,600 Speaker 3: He was excited and everything. Yeah, and and he then 306 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,840 Speaker 3: I was calling him. He wasn't answering, like for a 307 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:44,000 Speaker 3: couple of weeks, like what's going on? Were yet? And 308 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:46,960 Speaker 3: I reached out to some other relatives on his side, 309 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:52,560 Speaker 3: and supposedly he I have another one of my sisters 310 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,960 Speaker 3: that grow up with him. She was a crackhead and 311 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:59,640 Speaker 3: she beat one of the deals for drugs and said, 312 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:02,200 Speaker 3: my fault that would pay for it and put him 313 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,720 Speaker 3: on the spot and he wasn't paying for it, and 314 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 3: they beat him to death. And that's how I died. 315 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:16,280 Speaker 3: And so the drug dealers. Wow, yeah, bushin Damn. 316 00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:18,080 Speaker 2: How does that story? 317 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:20,920 Speaker 3: Yeah? 318 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:21,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, right? 319 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:25,800 Speaker 3: You know what? It was mixed emotions. One. I felt 320 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:29,280 Speaker 3: like damn. I was looking forward to connect them with 321 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:33,200 Speaker 3: him physical form. But then I got to go back 322 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,600 Speaker 3: to E I P. And there was a reason for that. 323 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,600 Speaker 3: You know a part of me, if it would have 324 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,040 Speaker 3: been other people, I'm not in the front. I feel like, 325 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:46,240 Speaker 3: you know, when that revenge said maybe I gotta go, 326 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:54,400 Speaker 3: it was like, yeah, that one. You know what I'm saying, 327 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:55,920 Speaker 3: I'm gonna got a chill it out when I that 328 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:57,040 Speaker 3: when it is what it is. 329 00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:57,520 Speaker 1: Yeah. 330 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,960 Speaker 3: Yeah. So that part was sad. A good thing that 331 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:03,840 Speaker 3: came from it is that I got to reconnect with 332 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:07,280 Speaker 3: that side of the family, right, and I love that 333 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:12,800 Speaker 3: side of the family. I'm connected with my uncles and 334 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,760 Speaker 3: so that's it was. It's been a blessing and it 335 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:17,879 Speaker 3: was great to even connected with my uncles because it 336 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,960 Speaker 3: was like the first time I'm seeing men from my 337 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:24,800 Speaker 3: DNA and they were all like, look exactly like me. 338 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,359 Speaker 3: Everybody's like six or five and the guys and it 339 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,400 Speaker 3: was like they talked the same and it was like, oh, 340 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:30,560 Speaker 3: this is good. 341 00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:32,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, I fought at home. 342 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:35,000 Speaker 3: Yeah. So I still have those connections, have those connections, 343 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,879 Speaker 3: and you know, I contact them all the time. We 344 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,560 Speaker 3: talk all the time. So that part has been beautiful. 345 00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:42,040 Speaker 2: Did you go to the room? 346 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:47,800 Speaker 3: No? No, No, I didn't go. I actually found out 347 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:51,760 Speaker 3: about it after Oh wow, which was sad too. 348 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,440 Speaker 2: It's like, damn, yeah. 349 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,240 Speaker 3: I ain't even you know. So there was something that 350 00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:58,560 Speaker 3: was just we weren't supposed to you know what I'm saying, 351 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:02,359 Speaker 3: being in the same solar systems together or something. I 352 00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:04,560 Speaker 3: don't know. Yeah, this wasn't supposed to work out. 353 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:06,560 Speaker 2: You know, it's so crazy. I think about that too, 354 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:08,880 Speaker 2: because like my father, he'll call me every now and then. 355 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,720 Speaker 2: Because the first time he called me, I was when 356 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:12,520 Speaker 2: I was like in my mid twenties. I was like 357 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,119 Speaker 2: angry with him cause I'm like, Nigga, I'm trying to 358 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,960 Speaker 2: be my dad now whatever. Yes, but then after, you know, 359 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:18,959 Speaker 2: when you get older, you know, you go get your 360 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,920 Speaker 2: own life experiences. It's just like Nigga were here now 361 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,280 Speaker 2: like it is it is. It is like you know 362 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:27,639 Speaker 2: what I'm saying, yeah, so and then also, you know, 363 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,760 Speaker 2: just with those who deal with drugs and everything else 364 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,520 Speaker 2: that's against us within a society. It actually made me 365 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:36,119 Speaker 2: like kind of feel bad for him because he, like 366 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,800 Speaker 2: your father, like he was super smart, like he went 367 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,600 Speaker 2: from ninth grade to college like the top of his class, 368 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,840 Speaker 2: very good looking man. You know, he just couldn't get 369 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:46,920 Speaker 2: that monkey off his back. And so you know, now 370 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,040 Speaker 2: every now and then he'll check in, and I was 371 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:50,520 Speaker 2: just like, you know, let me just have a conversation 372 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,840 Speaker 2: with him, because I'm like, I couldn't imagine what that 373 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,359 Speaker 2: feel like as a man, a man to have a 374 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,880 Speaker 2: child knowing you play no role in that child's life, 375 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:01,600 Speaker 2: especially a woman, and she's doing pretty good for herself. 376 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:05,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's real, that's real. You know when I 377 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,359 Speaker 3: agree with you. I used to be real hard on 378 00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:11,920 Speaker 3: that people like that because I was angry. Yeah, you 379 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:15,320 Speaker 3: cause a lot of destruction in my life. But I 380 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:18,119 Speaker 3: realized that everybody's doing the best they can with what 381 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:21,760 Speaker 3: they have to work facts, and it's easy for me 382 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:27,280 Speaker 3: to judge on the outside. And the bottom line is, 383 00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:32,160 Speaker 3: you know, I can, I can still have a relationship 384 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:37,159 Speaker 3: with you, and you can still be a fuck up 385 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,120 Speaker 3: or do what things you need to do. Just keep 386 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,199 Speaker 3: that away from me, right, but when you're with me, 387 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,280 Speaker 3: let's be a certain way when you go and do 388 00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:47,639 Speaker 3: with you. I'm good, right and so, and life is 389 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:50,560 Speaker 3: short and saying life is short and I'm just I 390 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:52,240 Speaker 3: was just once again, like that's what that was the 391 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,280 Speaker 3: difference between when he met me at sixteen and when 392 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:58,760 Speaker 3: he met me like forty five forty six. I went 393 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,760 Speaker 3: through life. I experienced life, all of that, you know, 394 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:05,440 Speaker 3: being idealistic about it's supposed to be like this life 395 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:06,800 Speaker 3: was like the fuck up? 396 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:11,480 Speaker 1: Give it up. 397 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:16,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's like, no, I'm humble. I get it. 398 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:20,680 Speaker 2: That's what I'd be, like, what do I know? Like Leo, 399 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:23,520 Speaker 2: we hear it now, Like it is what it is 400 00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:25,960 Speaker 2: like over here. If you're going to come up here, 401 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,440 Speaker 2: just have good intentions. 402 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:30,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, exactly, you know, always looking at it like 403 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:33,760 Speaker 3: I have this vineyo game analogy. Look at it like 404 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,720 Speaker 3: life is one big video arcade, and every experience you 405 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,960 Speaker 3: can have in life or where you can be in 406 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,880 Speaker 3: life is a game in this arcade. And everybody came 407 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:46,919 Speaker 3: to this arcade to play a different game. Yeah, and 408 00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,840 Speaker 3: so when we I'm playing my game, you're playing yours 409 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:53,320 Speaker 3: over there. So the tendency is why we're playing ours, 410 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,320 Speaker 3: to look over at the next person and be like, yo, 411 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:02,240 Speaker 3: why are you playing that game? I will never choose 412 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:06,760 Speaker 3: that game? Why that game offends me? Why you chose 413 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:10,840 Speaker 3: that Carol, choose that cat? Why are you taking it all? 414 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:13,520 Speaker 3: Why then you're gonna get other people like man do agreed? 415 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,200 Speaker 3: Right the way you're playing your game, it offends us 416 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:19,760 Speaker 3: and this and that, just like, excuse me, this is 417 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,200 Speaker 3: my token. I get one token. This is the game 418 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,680 Speaker 3: I chose to play, and so please don't try to 419 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:26,720 Speaker 3: tell me how to play my game. And the truth is, 420 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,120 Speaker 3: if you were playing your game and enjoying your game, 421 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,080 Speaker 3: you wouldn't even notice what was going on my game. 422 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:35,560 Speaker 2: Game, right, enjoy your game. 423 00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:41,760 Speaker 3: And if my advice and tips different, don't just over 424 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:45,160 Speaker 3: to me and shut up me to feel bad about 425 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:49,240 Speaker 3: the game I'm playing. Yeah, so you know, it's first, 426 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:50,840 Speaker 3: everything is perspective. That's it. 427 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:51,440 Speaker 4: That's the key. 428 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:51,960 Speaker 3: Like that. 429 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,080 Speaker 2: Well, you know, there are a lot of men who 430 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,800 Speaker 2: don't take care of their kids, not even acting. Is 431 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,439 Speaker 2: there a part of you that is understanding of the 432 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:12,040 Speaker 2: reasons why they have any ever expressed to you, some 433 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,080 Speaker 2: of the reasons why they may not be active, Because 434 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:16,600 Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure you have a lot of good relationships 435 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,480 Speaker 2: with a lot of men who feel comfortable enough to 436 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,359 Speaker 2: talk to you about certain things because of the things 437 00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:21,040 Speaker 2: you experience. 438 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:26,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, most of the men that I run 439 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:31,800 Speaker 3: across to the like that they're limited in their own way, 440 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:33,760 Speaker 3: so it's like they can't take care of themselves even 441 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:40,119 Speaker 3: or they just give up. Do I ever get to 442 00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:47,280 Speaker 3: the point where I'm like attitude with judgmental, Yeah, I will. 443 00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:50,119 Speaker 3: I'm human, I'm stay in that place, but I will. 444 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:55,000 Speaker 3: And that's usually when there's no like they have they 445 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:59,680 Speaker 3: have the resources at the time, they're just doing some 446 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:04,080 Speaker 3: bullshit from their own personal stuff and the child is suffering. 447 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:05,720 Speaker 3: That's the part that gets me to see the child 448 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:08,960 Speaker 3: because I know what that pain is like. Yeah, when 449 00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:11,200 Speaker 3: you don't get that acceptance from your father, your mother, 450 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:14,160 Speaker 3: when they're not loving on you like that, that's that's traumatic. 451 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:18,199 Speaker 3: But then I'm not gonna front. I go back to 452 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:23,359 Speaker 3: E I P. I don't believe anything's an accident and 453 00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:27,920 Speaker 3: everything's far greater good. So, and I believe that every 454 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:33,000 Speaker 3: experience that we have here with spiritual beings in a way, 455 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:34,679 Speaker 3: a lot of people ain't going to feel this, but 456 00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:37,560 Speaker 3: I believe that we chose that before we got here. 457 00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:41,280 Speaker 3: It shows who's gonna be our parents. We chose the life. 458 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:43,200 Speaker 3: We're gonna have, the challenges, we're gonna have, the people 459 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:44,920 Speaker 3: we're gonna meant along the way. It's gonna play different 460 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:48,840 Speaker 3: roles in all life. Yeah, So it's like an agreement, 461 00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:55,760 Speaker 3: and and it's like everybody thinks, like, well, everybody wants 462 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:57,400 Speaker 3: to come here and just be rich and famous. Let's 463 00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,320 Speaker 3: say you're a spirit that's been here so many different 464 00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:01,919 Speaker 3: times over and over reincarnate, you ain't gonna want to 465 00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,439 Speaker 3: come have the same experience. It's like watching TV. You 466 00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:06,600 Speaker 3: want to watch the same ship. So you like comedy, 467 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:10,800 Speaker 3: but you know what, I'm gonna move for something scary. Yeah, 468 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:12,840 Speaker 3: I'm looking for a little gangs. I'm gonna move up 469 00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:18,480 Speaker 3: something sexy. Expiritual beings. We want experiences. We want to 470 00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:21,320 Speaker 3: eat from the buffet, we want a sample of buffaid. 471 00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:25,480 Speaker 3: And those experiences helps the universe to expand. It expands consciousness, 472 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:29,520 Speaker 3: which expands the universe. So when you there's a saying, 473 00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:32,960 Speaker 3: if you're not growing, you dying. So you gotta keep growing, 474 00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:35,240 Speaker 3: you gotta keep expanding. When people stop doing that, you 475 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:38,080 Speaker 3: see their lives start to, you know, get smaller, and 476 00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:41,800 Speaker 3: they get sad and they start to So then on 477 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:45,040 Speaker 3: top of that, this world is I'm into clopin physics, 478 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:50,040 Speaker 3: neuroscience and all that other stuff and copy physics and 479 00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:54,400 Speaker 3: other forms science. They've proven that this world is an illusion. 480 00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:58,440 Speaker 3: None of this is real. Our brain is creating it. 481 00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:00,920 Speaker 3: It's an illusion that's creating here. There is no world 482 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,720 Speaker 3: outside of you. Everything outside of you is really inside 483 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,359 Speaker 3: of you. So it's like the outside world is a 484 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:10,399 Speaker 3: hologram of what's going on inside of you. So that 485 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:12,080 Speaker 3: what's going on outside of you is going to You're 486 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:14,280 Speaker 3: going to see the things you believe. You're programming the 487 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:18,760 Speaker 3: things you were taught. Yeah, so they say seeing is believing, right, 488 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:20,280 Speaker 3: Actually it's believing. 489 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:24,080 Speaker 2: Is seeing right because you think what you are right exactly. 490 00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:27,160 Speaker 3: And you know when I'm not only do I teach 491 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:30,199 Speaker 3: this to my clients over twenty four years of coaching, 492 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:33,600 Speaker 3: but I live That's the life. I live by that 493 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:37,720 Speaker 3: those principles. I've created the life that I created based 494 00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:40,120 Speaker 3: on those principles. So when I talk about it, it's 495 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:42,880 Speaker 3: not like, oh, this is just a theory. Nah, I'm 496 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,679 Speaker 3: to live this shit. Every day I accomplish thing that 497 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,920 Speaker 3: I've created a life around this. My wife has done that, 498 00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:51,560 Speaker 3: my kids have done that. But the people in my circle. 499 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,359 Speaker 3: You come into my circle, you're going to learn how 500 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:56,600 Speaker 3: to manifest and consciously create your reality as well. And 501 00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:58,080 Speaker 3: that's why when I was saying, when I was dealing 502 00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:00,199 Speaker 3: with my dad. It was like, here, is he not 503 00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:03,720 Speaker 3: a conscious creative? Yes? So I was teaching him different things. 504 00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:09,040 Speaker 3: I was coaching him. Yeah. So so when all of 505 00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:12,199 Speaker 3: a sudden done, even things that seem really tragic, the 506 00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,440 Speaker 3: most beautiful things come out of tragic, you know what 507 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:18,280 Speaker 3: I'm saying. And so so when that father doesn't show 508 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:20,360 Speaker 3: up for that kid, even though I got I have empathy, 509 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,560 Speaker 3: but I also get excited for that kid because it's like, yo, 510 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:27,120 Speaker 3: you know what, this is your journey and it's gonna 511 00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:29,159 Speaker 3: be blessings in it. It's going to be expanding from it, 512 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,919 Speaker 3: this and that, and people will be like, oh, I 513 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:33,679 Speaker 3: wish I had taken it. You didn't go through that 514 00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:36,520 Speaker 3: with your dad and this is not your dad. Nah. No, 515 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:39,920 Speaker 3: it was curfect. I won't change anything because that made 516 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,199 Speaker 3: me who I am and I love who I am. 517 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:47,399 Speaker 3: I love it and so yeah, yeah, so that's how 518 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:48,520 Speaker 3: fatherhood affected me. 519 00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:52,040 Speaker 2: Damn. Before we get to your father into your journey 520 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:54,439 Speaker 2: with fatherhood, I want to ask you about what you 521 00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:56,200 Speaker 2: just said. So do you think we're in the matrix? 522 00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,760 Speaker 5: Hell yeah, yeah, right, well. 523 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:03,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, hell yeah, yeah, there's there's there's there's more than 524 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:08,520 Speaker 3: beyond the leve proof of that. You know, we just 525 00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:10,959 Speaker 3: have at But it's a beautiful thing to be a matrix. Now, 526 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,880 Speaker 3: if you were sleeping a matrix, it sucks. But once 527 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:18,240 Speaker 3: you wake up and you become neo neo cortex frontal 528 00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:21,119 Speaker 3: cortex Neil Court, that's what they're talking about. Once you 529 00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,480 Speaker 3: get this enlightened here, you open this up, that third 530 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:28,440 Speaker 3: eye out, everything changes. Yeah. Oh, trust me, girlfriend, we right. 531 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:31,840 Speaker 3: Once you once you're awake and you understand the matrix, 532 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:35,320 Speaker 3: you learn how to move, how to manipulate the matrix 533 00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:38,200 Speaker 3: to make it work for you, and you know. So, yeah, 534 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:40,679 Speaker 3: it's a beautiful thing. And I think we came to 535 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:44,760 Speaker 3: being a matrix. We came to do that, and it 536 00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:47,920 Speaker 3: helps us to expand. Once again, everything is about expansion, 537 00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:53,440 Speaker 3: expansion consciousness. So whether you know, experience something and that's 538 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:57,520 Speaker 3: enjoyable or not, you're gonna expand. I don't care how 539 00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:58,960 Speaker 3: you get there, just get there and how you can. 540 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,800 Speaker 3: That's the way the universe looks. Just expand the universe 541 00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:03,480 Speaker 3: does to go. Oh, I feel bad for you. I 542 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:04,359 Speaker 3: feel sorry for you. 543 00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:05,400 Speaker 2: You don't care? 544 00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:09,120 Speaker 3: Are you going? 545 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:11,040 Speaker 4: Like? 546 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:12,160 Speaker 2: Hold on? Girl? 547 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:15,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't worry. You ain't gonna be fver so 548 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:17,040 Speaker 3: step long. 549 00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:22,200 Speaker 2: So yeah, yes, Now when did you become a father? 550 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:30,359 Speaker 3: When did I become a father? I can tell you 551 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:31,040 Speaker 3: what I thought. 552 00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:32,520 Speaker 2: I was a father, right, That's why I want to 553 00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:35,200 Speaker 2: touch on. Is it with the boys, the twins? 554 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:36,399 Speaker 3: If there were twin boys? 555 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:37,240 Speaker 2: Okay? 556 00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:42,960 Speaker 3: Right, So that was when I was eighteen No no, no, no, 557 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:45,760 Speaker 3: no no, I was about nineteen twenty. 558 00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:47,880 Speaker 2: You was definitely before twenty one, because then we're gonna 559 00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:50,360 Speaker 2: talk about the possibility of you getting drafted too. 560 00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:54,840 Speaker 3: Right the twenty I was twenty. I went to college 561 00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:59,560 Speaker 3: in California and I started dating. It was a young lady, 562 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:04,280 Speaker 3: filling the love with her. Moved in really fast with her. 563 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:09,320 Speaker 5: Things were great in the beginning they always are, always are, 564 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:14,480 Speaker 5: always are, And I noticed that she was like kind 565 00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,120 Speaker 5: of a bitch to other people, but she wasn't like 566 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:16,560 Speaker 5: that with me. 567 00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:18,520 Speaker 3: So I was like, Okay, she's like that with Chim. 568 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:27,200 Speaker 3: But it goes around so with great. So eventually we 569 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:30,680 Speaker 3: start fighting back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, 570 00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,160 Speaker 3: and it was getting bad. And at the time I 571 00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:37,880 Speaker 3: had an opportunity to play pro basketball in Peru and 572 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:41,520 Speaker 3: double a baseball with the Brewers and they wanted me 573 00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:43,600 Speaker 3: to report to camp with the agents and all this stuff. 574 00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:50,400 Speaker 3: And in that process, she got pregnant. And I was like, okay, 575 00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:55,520 Speaker 3: you're pregnant. Now be honest with me. Because we weren't together. 576 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,600 Speaker 3: We were back and forth. I was with other people's she. 577 00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:01,479 Speaker 2: Was, and I was like, y'all moved you moved out 578 00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:03,440 Speaker 2: the house or where we are staying there together? 579 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:06,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, I moved out, but we're still doing. 580 00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:10,280 Speaker 5: XX right yeah. 581 00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:14,440 Speaker 3: And so she was like no, I was with no 582 00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:16,200 Speaker 3: one else this and that. I was like, yo, I 583 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:18,480 Speaker 3: was doing my thing. I ain't even gonna front. So 584 00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:21,240 Speaker 3: were you just be real you're a guy. And she's 585 00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:23,920 Speaker 3: like no, no, no, no. And so she was found 586 00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:25,440 Speaker 3: out she was pregnant with twin boys. 587 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:30,480 Speaker 2: Wow, no, not at all, not at all. 588 00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:39,200 Speaker 3: Clue number one right, that's the red flag. Yeah, takes 589 00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:45,080 Speaker 3: the motherfuckers with two hundred please swait little run in 590 00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:49,320 Speaker 3: the family. So she's like, no, no notice, they're yours. 591 00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,440 Speaker 3: So I'm like, I don't even like herm I don't 592 00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:56,719 Speaker 3: even But I was like, okay, my dad wasn't for me, 593 00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:58,560 Speaker 3: there for me. I always promise I'm gonna be there 594 00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:02,760 Speaker 3: for my kids. So I was like, all, got to 595 00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:09,040 Speaker 3: marry her, do the right thing married. Yeah, we got married. Yeah, 596 00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:12,200 Speaker 3: so I'm thinking I'm doing the right thing getting married. 597 00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:14,520 Speaker 2: Damn, I got the cliffs notes, ain't you? 598 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:17,800 Speaker 3: Oh yeah? Oh yeah, oh yeah, yes you did. And 599 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:21,080 Speaker 3: even it was crazy because even when we get married. Now, 600 00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:24,560 Speaker 3: keep in mind, this is crazy too. As a kid 601 00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:28,920 Speaker 3: growing up in Brooklyn around all these broken relationships, I 602 00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:31,360 Speaker 3: literally is seventy seven years old, I knew i'd find 603 00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:34,080 Speaker 3: love and I was and I was like, yo, you 604 00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:36,600 Speaker 3: know what because all the people around me they don't 605 00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:39,719 Speaker 3: know how to love. I'm very connected spiritual leaving as 606 00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:42,000 Speaker 3: a kid, and I was like, I'm going to teach them. 607 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,400 Speaker 3: One day. I'm gonna grow up. I'm going to find 608 00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:47,240 Speaker 3: a love of my life. We'll have this amazing love affair. 609 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:49,800 Speaker 3: Then we're gonna turn around and teach the world how 610 00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:53,440 Speaker 3: to love like us. Then I would listen to love 611 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:57,400 Speaker 3: songs under the Covenent, just visualize this life. Seven eight 612 00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:03,440 Speaker 3: years old. So I always felt she was out there, 613 00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:07,440 Speaker 3: and then I thought it was my college girlfriend. Then 614 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:09,000 Speaker 3: after a while I was like, now hell no she 615 00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:13,560 Speaker 3: it no she And so I could always feel that 616 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:17,040 Speaker 3: woman out there. H and so when I was getting 617 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:21,120 Speaker 3: my tuxedo, were getting fitted for that, and I was 618 00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:26,080 Speaker 3: with her my ex's brothers, and it came out I 619 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,120 Speaker 3: was just a fraudian slip. I was like, yo, you 620 00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:30,560 Speaker 3: know what the next next time I wanted I get married, 621 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:34,960 Speaker 3: I'm gonna wear blue. They were like, what What'm just saying? 622 00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:37,120 Speaker 3: I was like, oh, ship, did I said that out loud? 623 00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:37,520 Speaker 1: Oh? 624 00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:42,720 Speaker 3: My bad? One of bad. So she had the kids 625 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,480 Speaker 3: squin boys, named them after me, love of my life. 626 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,480 Speaker 3: It was just like, get me. I was I was 627 00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:54,800 Speaker 3: that dad. I was that dad at the pointy two boys, 628 00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:58,840 Speaker 3: every doctor's appointment, every check up, I was there. No, 629 00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,520 Speaker 3: you can't get I told her how to breastfeed them both. 630 00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:06,000 Speaker 3: It was just like this, like that, get it clear? 631 00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:09,560 Speaker 3: Got it? Look at the copet. So they would have 632 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:12,440 Speaker 3: loved my life, love them, but me and her things 633 00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:14,080 Speaker 3: just got worse, worse and worse and worse. 634 00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:17,720 Speaker 2: But that, But did you not think that you can 635 00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:20,760 Speaker 2: do the basketball and be a father? Like could they 636 00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:23,440 Speaker 2: not just move where you was at that. 637 00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:26,640 Speaker 3: That ship left? That ship sail? Because from the time 638 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:30,000 Speaker 3: that that offer was there and then everything I was 639 00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:35,160 Speaker 3: going through, it was like it ain't. It was like, 640 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:37,400 Speaker 3: it ain't ever gonna have it. I couldn't see it happening. 641 00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:41,520 Speaker 3: There was a part of me that holted would one day, 642 00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:43,160 Speaker 3: but it was like, right now, I'll need to be 643 00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:45,360 Speaker 3: with this. But then dealing with the chaos and the 644 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:49,520 Speaker 3: turmoil with her every day just in my this was crazy. 645 00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:54,440 Speaker 3: So it got to the point where it was like, 646 00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:57,880 Speaker 3: this relationship is going to get physically abusive. I stand 647 00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:00,880 Speaker 3: and that's on her and as well, and I don't 648 00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:01,200 Speaker 3: play that. 649 00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:06,000 Speaker 2: It was like all right, so said, I don't play 650 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:06,360 Speaker 2: that ship. 651 00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:13,600 Speaker 3: Nah no, no, And so I left and she was 652 00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:15,440 Speaker 3: pissed and she was like, I'm gonna take you to 653 00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:17,520 Speaker 3: clean us. I'm gonna take your child support for everything 654 00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:20,040 Speaker 3: you got you never get it not blah blah blah. 655 00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:23,600 Speaker 3: So and I remember when I wanted to get the 656 00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:26,760 Speaker 3: blood test done and she was with me in the public. 657 00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:31,319 Speaker 3: The DA was there and he's just all over her like, Oh, 658 00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,279 Speaker 3: don't worry, honey, We're gonna get him and we're gonna 659 00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:35,799 Speaker 3: shoot him and we're gonna I'm like, yo, you don't 660 00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:38,239 Speaker 3: even know, you don't even know, but you're making me 661 00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:41,480 Speaker 3: the bad guy, all right. So I asked my mother. 662 00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:44,120 Speaker 3: She came out here, my grandmother. I was like, hey, 663 00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:46,239 Speaker 3: this is what's what's the deal? She said that the 664 00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:49,600 Speaker 3: mine I'm gonna I'm finding out that they are not 665 00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:53,279 Speaker 3: my grandmother. My mother was like, they're not you, They're 666 00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:57,480 Speaker 3: not yours. I'm like, what it's like, they're not yours? 667 00:34:58,000 --> 00:34:59,759 Speaker 3: And I was like, wait a minute, how do you know. 668 00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:02,120 Speaker 3: She goes, you can look at them and tell She goes, 669 00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:03,560 Speaker 3: it's obvious that they're not yours. 670 00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:04,600 Speaker 4: Wow, what they have. 671 00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:07,960 Speaker 3: That's like yours? And I was like, they're tools. 672 00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,160 Speaker 2: Did you have any doubts? Like did you feel like 673 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:11,880 Speaker 2: they weren't yours? 674 00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:14,520 Speaker 3: And it never crossed my mind. It never crossed my 675 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:19,600 Speaker 3: mind until that happened. Wow, yeah it she took with 676 00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:24,920 Speaker 3: the gild support and so I'm going to court now 677 00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:31,520 Speaker 3: m hm, this is a crazy experience. So the boys 678 00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:35,640 Speaker 3: are like three years old. Now I go to court 679 00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:38,440 Speaker 3: with all the fathers. There's just men in that room, 680 00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:43,120 Speaker 3: fifty men, and they're all sweating bullets, just like oh shit, nervous. 681 00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:44,600 Speaker 3: You can feel that attention to get in there. 682 00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:48,720 Speaker 2: You know, niggas don't like to be a court. 683 00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:54,040 Speaker 3: Especially, So the judge is like Okay, when I call 684 00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:57,960 Speaker 3: your name, if I say negative, then you can leave. 685 00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:01,799 Speaker 3: Say positive, you gotta stay do the paperwork. Did it fall? 686 00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:05,800 Speaker 3: So they start going through the names positive, so so positive, 687 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:10,840 Speaker 3: sow so positive. Your brother's like hm hm positive right, 688 00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:18,480 Speaker 3: h yeah, And so I thought they said and then 689 00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:20,560 Speaker 3: some other guy ran in ran out, and they were 690 00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:22,640 Speaker 3: like oh negative. He's like what does that mean. It's 691 00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:26,280 Speaker 3: like you're free to leave, Landy throw all the memory 692 00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:31,160 Speaker 3: hm hmm right. So I was like they kept going. 693 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:33,520 Speaker 3: I was like wait a minute, They're like in f snap. 694 00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:35,960 Speaker 3: I went back. He's like yo, and you say you 695 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:39,600 Speaker 3: know we called you. It's like, no, no, you didn't. 696 00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:42,279 Speaker 3: Guy ran out, brought the other guy back, and they 697 00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:45,040 Speaker 3: were like, oh positive. So then they looked at me 698 00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:46,520 Speaker 3: and it was like I was like, so what does 699 00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:49,759 Speaker 3: that mean. They're like negative, you're free to go, they're 700 00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:52,520 Speaker 3: not yours, and it was like. 701 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:55,280 Speaker 1: Fuck right. 702 00:36:56,640 --> 00:37:01,000 Speaker 3: What fuck my brain. I'd never experience so many emotions 703 00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:02,880 Speaker 3: like that. It was just overwhelming. 704 00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:07,400 Speaker 4: Wow, I'm not in the front and I'm in my 705 00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:08,239 Speaker 4: early twenties now. 706 00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:11,080 Speaker 3: My first instinct I'm not going to front because of 707 00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:14,640 Speaker 3: that anger and that rage. It just I wanted to 708 00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:20,400 Speaker 3: go and choke out. I ain't gonna lie, but my 709 00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:23,480 Speaker 3: spirit literally said sit on the bench. There was a bench, 710 00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:27,040 Speaker 3: and I just sat on the bench and I blocked out. 711 00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:31,719 Speaker 3: I woke up. It was the evening, the court was closed. 712 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:33,719 Speaker 3: Not with this. I passed out. It was like at 713 00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:39,239 Speaker 3: least three o'clock. Man, it was like six o'clock. And 714 00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:45,520 Speaker 3: I came through and I was more way calmer. So 715 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:47,680 Speaker 3: I was like, my spirit looked out for me because 716 00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:49,879 Speaker 3: I was giving a call that would have went back. 717 00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:51,759 Speaker 4: Yeah. 718 00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:58,000 Speaker 3: And so I got on the phone call and I said, 719 00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:01,840 Speaker 3: go ahead, picks up the when she goes so what happened? 720 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,759 Speaker 3: And I was like, let me just see what has 721 00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:08,920 Speaker 3: played this off a little? I go, you were right, 722 00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:14,719 Speaker 3: what do you mean? I go to mind just going. 723 00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:17,120 Speaker 1: Off with me es and I. 724 00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:21,680 Speaker 5: Was like, wow, you know what wrong? 725 00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:22,880 Speaker 3: And not mine? 726 00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:23,920 Speaker 1: She was like what? 727 00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:25,600 Speaker 3: And I was like, she's like, what do you mean? 728 00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:27,080 Speaker 3: How can that be? I'll go, let me read you 729 00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:29,920 Speaker 3: the paper the ninety nine nine nine percent not mine. 730 00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:32,680 Speaker 3: She's like, oh my god, what did that happened? I go, oh, 731 00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:34,920 Speaker 3: you let me tell you how to happen. It's how that. 732 00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:38,160 Speaker 2: Happened right right to how it happened. 733 00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:43,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what, and she just broke down. It 734 00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:45,520 Speaker 3: was like maybe one of them were you always and one. 735 00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:47,680 Speaker 2: Of them that's not how that works with. 736 00:38:51,760 --> 00:39:00,640 Speaker 3: So that came out. I was devastated. Hit rock Bottom's 737 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:04,839 Speaker 3: feel a suicidal lost my career, athletic career, not going 738 00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:09,560 Speaker 3: to school anymore, lost the wife, lost the kids. Rock 739 00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:14,280 Speaker 3: Bottom m want to kill myself even at certain points 740 00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:16,160 Speaker 3: contemplating it because. 741 00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:18,719 Speaker 2: A whole different lifestyle. 742 00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:25,520 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, And then my spirit literally was like, really, 743 00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:29,480 Speaker 3: really that's what you're doing. You go see the blessings. 744 00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,839 Speaker 3: I saved you. I gave you a second chance at life. 745 00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:35,160 Speaker 3: Go do something with it. 746 00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:35,840 Speaker 4: Go big. 747 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:40,960 Speaker 3: This is a blessing. So at that point it was like, 748 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:44,880 Speaker 3: I got another chance of life. I need to rebuild myself. 749 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:47,200 Speaker 3: I need to heal my wounds. I need to start 750 00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:50,719 Speaker 3: in the work. I need to be better, I need 751 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:54,400 Speaker 3: to grow an expand And I did that, and I 752 00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:56,840 Speaker 3: continue to see the boys and spend time with them. 753 00:39:57,200 --> 00:40:01,200 Speaker 3: My love for them was unconditional and for the next 754 00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:03,160 Speaker 3: couple of years, but she never told them the truth. 755 00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:05,719 Speaker 3: She didn't. The agreement was to tell nobody. She was like, 756 00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:08,920 Speaker 3: if you tell anybody, the truth, then you'll never see 757 00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:09,359 Speaker 3: them again. 758 00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:10,640 Speaker 2: Did she ever say why she. 759 00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:19,719 Speaker 3: Liked No no, oh, oh, she didn't say why she cheated. Well, 760 00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:20,760 Speaker 3: because she actually didn't. 761 00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:22,760 Speaker 2: Really cheat to break, right. 762 00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:24,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, we want to break. She just said that she 763 00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:26,520 Speaker 3: felt like he wouldn't be a good father and she 764 00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:27,480 Speaker 3: know I'd be a great dad. 765 00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:29,760 Speaker 2: No, that's not how that works. 766 00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:33,040 Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, not at all that. 767 00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:36,480 Speaker 2: You know, a lot of a lot of man, a 768 00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:38,840 Speaker 2: lot of it's a lot of fucked up people out here, 769 00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:41,640 Speaker 2: because a lot of women do that to men. Yeah, 770 00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:44,520 Speaker 2: and then men give all this time and it's like, bro, 771 00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:46,240 Speaker 2: it's not even my child. 772 00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:48,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, you turn a good man back. 773 00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:50,440 Speaker 2: Because turn a good man bad. 774 00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:53,480 Speaker 3: Yeah. And you know the craziest thing about it, when 775 00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:56,040 Speaker 3: another crazy thing about it was that and she didn't 776 00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:57,479 Speaker 3: know this. If she would have known it, she would 777 00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:59,600 Speaker 3: have she would have quit with it in the state 778 00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:04,000 Speaker 3: of Calli Fnia, even if they're not yours, so legally responsible. 779 00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's why you got laws. 780 00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:06,640 Speaker 1: Yeah. 781 00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:08,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, she didn't know it, and I was not going 782 00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:11,120 Speaker 3: to tell her share with her. So I saw them 783 00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:16,680 Speaker 3: for the next couple of years. But everything changed. The 784 00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:21,600 Speaker 3: way she the way they started acting with me and 785 00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:25,319 Speaker 3: like very so disrespectful, just like go places and shut up. 786 00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:27,040 Speaker 3: You can't tell me what to do. My mother said you, 787 00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:28,440 Speaker 3: I don't have to listen to you in this. 788 00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:31,160 Speaker 2: But they don't do they know that you're not their father. 789 00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:34,480 Speaker 3: No, No, I couldn't tell them. 790 00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:39,200 Speaker 2: So they too don't know to this day, to this day. 791 00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:48,000 Speaker 3: There, man, they're about probably forty thirty eight. Wait, I'm 792 00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:49,840 Speaker 3: thirty seven, about thirty five thirty seven. 793 00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:52,360 Speaker 2: We need to change your voice, because what if they 794 00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:52,759 Speaker 2: hear this. 795 00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:57,359 Speaker 3: You know what, then it's meant to be. It's meant 796 00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:01,640 Speaker 3: to be. Actually, I've been contemplating reaching out of them, 797 00:42:01,719 --> 00:42:09,280 Speaker 3: but my concern was that she spent so many years 798 00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:12,400 Speaker 3: making it seem like I was just some guy that 799 00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:15,359 Speaker 3: just a dead be dead, and just was like, screw 800 00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:17,759 Speaker 3: y'all right, that father that I was telling you that 801 00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:20,480 Speaker 3: I would never be right. So that's how life works. 802 00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:25,960 Speaker 3: Like so I told my spirit because I still have 803 00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:30,080 Speaker 3: friends that I connected to her, connected to them, they 804 00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:32,719 Speaker 3: stayed in their life, and they told me, like she 805 00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:35,200 Speaker 3: talks bad about you. She never told any of them 806 00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:37,720 Speaker 3: the truth. And she tells everybody that you just left. 807 00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:41,239 Speaker 3: She never tells anybody in her story. Yeah, and so 808 00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:43,480 Speaker 3: I told myself that, you know, what should I do? 809 00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:45,839 Speaker 3: What should I reach out? My spirit was like, you'll 810 00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:48,640 Speaker 3: know when it's meant to be, you don't reach out. 811 00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:50,080 Speaker 3: So I don't care if they I would love for 812 00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:52,560 Speaker 3: them there is and let the truth it doesn't I 813 00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:53,360 Speaker 3: go back to EP. 814 00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:54,560 Speaker 1: Yeah. 815 00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:59,600 Speaker 3: And you know what, even with now as time has 816 00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:01,680 Speaker 3: passed and people like once again, the people were like, 817 00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:04,040 Speaker 3: oh man, you wish you're gonna have to go through that. No, 818 00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:09,719 Speaker 3: it was EP. It was perfect. That put me on 819 00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:11,240 Speaker 3: a path to becoming a coach. 820 00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:14,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, that put me on a path. 821 00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:15,640 Speaker 3: To find in my wife, to track to my wife. 822 00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:19,520 Speaker 3: And when I met my wife, I knew that that 823 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:21,360 Speaker 3: was the one that was because even when I was 824 00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:23,520 Speaker 3: with my ex, it was like I could feel that 825 00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:24,279 Speaker 3: woman out there. 826 00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:27,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's why you said next time I get married. 827 00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:36,920 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, Oh and I did a web glue. 828 00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:44,200 Speaker 2: Way. So are you are you close to the suns 829 00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:45,320 Speaker 2: the twins. 830 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:49,200 Speaker 3: Or I no have no contact with since they were 831 00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:53,200 Speaker 3: like six seven? 832 00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:55,680 Speaker 2: Wait, so you haven't spoken to them in almost like 833 00:43:55,719 --> 00:43:56,799 Speaker 2: what thirty years? 834 00:43:57,040 --> 00:44:01,960 Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah? The girl men grown men, and you know 835 00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:06,600 Speaker 3: she got remarried as well. The kids were being disrespectful 836 00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:10,200 Speaker 3: and it was getting bad where she was literally accusing 837 00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:13,799 Speaker 3: me of having like bringing other women around when I 838 00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:16,040 Speaker 3: had them and having sex with other women in front 839 00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:19,160 Speaker 3: of them. Crazy shit, just the same thing that broke 840 00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:21,400 Speaker 3: up got divorced with her for because she was just 841 00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:23,480 Speaker 3: coming up with shit and you did this, you did 842 00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:24,560 Speaker 3: and it. 843 00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:27,640 Speaker 2: Was like, Okay, that's crazy. 844 00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:30,799 Speaker 3: This is getting beyond crazy. You are she is just 845 00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:34,480 Speaker 3: and you're turning and you're making them like that against me. 846 00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:37,680 Speaker 3: I can't be around kids that I just you know 847 00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:39,600 Speaker 3: what I'm saying. It was like and then with a 848 00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:41,439 Speaker 3: new husband and this and that, it was like, it's 849 00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:47,919 Speaker 3: time to back out, and so I moved away. Yes 850 00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:48,839 Speaker 3: it's been that long. 851 00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:53,319 Speaker 2: Do you miss them? 852 00:44:53,680 --> 00:45:00,799 Speaker 3: In all honesty? I love them, but I don't missed 853 00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:03,000 Speaker 3: them in that way because I don't know that I 854 00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:06,080 Speaker 3: knew that I knew that version of them. You know, 855 00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:15,400 Speaker 3: they're not you know, so yeah, yeah, that's a tough one. 856 00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:17,560 Speaker 3: You know. Even her brother, I was friends with her brother. 857 00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:21,960 Speaker 3: He passed a few years years back, and he, you know, 858 00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:23,759 Speaker 3: he was even pisched, like, you know what, she's wrong 859 00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:25,920 Speaker 3: the way she did you And she needs to tell 860 00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:28,200 Speaker 3: people the truth, and she's still telling people lies about 861 00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:32,879 Speaker 3: you and just but once again I got to look 862 00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:37,719 Speaker 3: back and go, it was E P and and E 863 00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:39,919 Speaker 3: I P. Isn't just the good stuff, it's the good, 864 00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:42,120 Speaker 3: it's the things that don't feel good as well. Yeah, 865 00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:46,400 Speaker 3: and in retrospect, I look back. For many years I 866 00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:50,879 Speaker 3: was upset with her and I blamed her, but then 867 00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:52,840 Speaker 3: it was like, let me look at myself. I attracted 868 00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:56,560 Speaker 3: the situation. Why was I matched vibrational match to that? 869 00:45:56,880 --> 00:45:58,279 Speaker 3: And then I saw a lot of things. I was 870 00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:03,239 Speaker 3: a vibrational match too with it. With that, she was 871 00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:05,560 Speaker 3: could be a bitch, but I could be a dick. 872 00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:10,120 Speaker 3: It was just different way. And the truth was we 873 00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:13,680 Speaker 3: were both young, and we were young trying to play 874 00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:17,640 Speaker 3: grown up playhouse. She was doing the best she could 875 00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:19,239 Speaker 3: what she had to work with, and so was I, 876 00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:25,560 Speaker 3: and so I forgive her. I don't have any grudges 877 00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:29,279 Speaker 3: against her to this day. There was a chapter in 878 00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:31,600 Speaker 3: my life that was a very powerful chapter in my life. 879 00:46:32,440 --> 00:46:35,799 Speaker 3: And then once I had my own children, it helped 880 00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:39,279 Speaker 3: me to be even a better dad. 881 00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:42,280 Speaker 2: Do they know this story like your other children? 882 00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:48,400 Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, yeah, Because my other children has two children 883 00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:52,440 Speaker 3: from her previous manage, our oldest daughter, her first daughter 884 00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:58,719 Speaker 3: was seven and a son two. So I was in 885 00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:02,120 Speaker 3: their life since then, right, so I stepped into the 886 00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:06,239 Speaker 3: stepdad role, which was another who challenging. 887 00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:09,480 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah. 888 00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:12,239 Speaker 3: That was that was challenging too. But to this day 889 00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:14,359 Speaker 3: we look back and they talk about it. We talk 890 00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:17,800 Speaker 3: about it, and me and me and have a daughter together. 891 00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:23,120 Speaker 3: She's twenty five now and she knows about it and 892 00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:25,719 Speaker 3: all of it. Yeah, so yeah, I'm an open book. 893 00:47:25,719 --> 00:47:26,960 Speaker 3: I don't I don't get that stuff. 894 00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:29,920 Speaker 2: That was it challenging for them because what was their 895 00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:30,680 Speaker 2: dad active? 896 00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:34,839 Speaker 3: Their dad was. 897 00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:42,160 Speaker 5: At the president present but not present, okay, you know, yeah, 898 00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:43,200 Speaker 5: he has his own you know. 899 00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:44,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, so. 900 00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:51,719 Speaker 3: For them, they so like for example, the oldest daughter, 901 00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:57,560 Speaker 3: she got married. In her whole wedding, she told her dad, 902 00:47:58,719 --> 00:48:01,200 Speaker 3: he's gonna walk me down the aisle mm hmm. And 903 00:48:01,239 --> 00:48:02,960 Speaker 3: if you have a problem with it, then you don't 904 00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:06,839 Speaker 3: walk me down. He's gonna because he's my dad. And 905 00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:11,280 Speaker 3: so we both walked it down the aisle. I cried 906 00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:18,239 Speaker 3: like a baby and he was just oblivious. Can we 907 00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:21,160 Speaker 3: talk about that stuff now? Like you know, the days 908 00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:24,680 Speaker 3: when younger trying to get into stepdad. 909 00:48:24,239 --> 00:48:27,919 Speaker 2: Thing and because yeah, yeah, we all laught. 910 00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:30,440 Speaker 3: We are family is great. We sit around live and 911 00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:33,759 Speaker 3: they're like, damn yeah my son. He's like, yeah I 912 00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:38,360 Speaker 3: was a little dish. Yeah I was, you know, so 913 00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:39,120 Speaker 3: we laugh at. 914 00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,480 Speaker 2: Would you want to know who the body's logical father is? 915 00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:43,360 Speaker 2: For the twins? 916 00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:44,480 Speaker 3: Oh, I know who he is. 917 00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:48,360 Speaker 2: This is given a lifetime. 918 00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:50,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, I know he is. 919 00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:55,719 Speaker 2: Yes, you and a father. 920 00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:59,520 Speaker 3: Here's this is crazy too. We did, but we didn't. 921 00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:03,360 Speaker 3: Once again, just like when I spotted my dad, I 922 00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:06,919 Speaker 3: have intuition. I have this amazing intuition, right, I could 923 00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:09,239 Speaker 3: feel something to be around people, like I could see 924 00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:10,880 Speaker 3: a whole story comes out of it just from being 925 00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:16,000 Speaker 3: around this information. And so when I was dating my 926 00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:21,120 Speaker 3: first wife college, they had a aunt had a barbecue 927 00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:24,000 Speaker 3: when she invited a bunch of friends over college friends, 928 00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:28,640 Speaker 3: her friends, and there was this guy there and I 929 00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:36,400 Speaker 3: could just feel like they wasn't doing anything, but I 930 00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:43,480 Speaker 3: could just mm feel it. So when she said when 931 00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:45,919 Speaker 3: it all came out, it was like was it him? 932 00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:50,680 Speaker 3: And she was like yeah, but then I could see 933 00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:51,879 Speaker 3: the kids look like him. 934 00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:55,239 Speaker 2: Wow, So she knew this whole time? 935 00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:59,640 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, which which which made sense. She 936 00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:01,520 Speaker 3: made it that that's one of the reasons why she 937 00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:04,359 Speaker 3: was going off on me so much, because her conscious 938 00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:07,480 Speaker 3: was eating that waiater and every time she'd see me 939 00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:09,719 Speaker 3: with the kids, then how guilty conscience were kicking when 940 00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:12,040 Speaker 3: she's pregnant. She was stressed out, like, oh boy, I 941 00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:17,279 Speaker 3: hope they yeah. Yeah. And he didn't want anything to 942 00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:19,239 Speaker 3: do with it because after what she told him and 943 00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:21,799 Speaker 3: she came back, which kissed me off, but he said 944 00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:24,319 Speaker 3: he is one thing to think to do with it. Wow, 945 00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:27,760 Speaker 3: that bothered me. I was like, yo, all right, because 946 00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:31,440 Speaker 3: you know this has just felt the little uh you know, territorial. 947 00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:34,920 Speaker 2: Right, damn. Do you think in situations like this legal 948 00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:38,799 Speaker 2: actions should take place? Because you know there are some 949 00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:41,920 Speaker 2: men that go through this and they go through this 950 00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:45,839 Speaker 2: for like years and then you find out this ain't 951 00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:46,719 Speaker 2: even be a damn kid. 952 00:50:47,719 --> 00:50:50,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I think that that would make sense 953 00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:53,560 Speaker 3: for that to happen, if right, that would make sense, 954 00:50:54,520 --> 00:51:00,320 Speaker 3: But me personally, I wouldn't do it. Excuse she was 955 00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:04,080 Speaker 3: balling out like that unless she was just pay maybe, 956 00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:07,800 Speaker 3: but to be like me, be take and take food 957 00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:12,520 Speaker 3: out of you know, the kids in my mouth in Yeah, yeah, 958 00:51:12,840 --> 00:51:15,000 Speaker 3: learn and grow, Keep it pushing. You know what I'm saying, 959 00:51:15,560 --> 00:51:17,920 Speaker 3: Keep it pushing. It could could be it could be 960 00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:20,320 Speaker 3: a lot worse. But like I said, those are things 961 00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:22,600 Speaker 3: that helped me to become a whole in and help 962 00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:24,640 Speaker 3: me to become a great coach. And so when I'm 963 00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:28,880 Speaker 3: coaching people, and I also believe that one of the 964 00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:33,520 Speaker 3: things that makes me at effective coach is that a 965 00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:38,960 Speaker 3: life coach is about having life experiences. The more experiences 966 00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:42,280 Speaker 3: I have in life, good, the bad, ugly, everything in between, 967 00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:45,200 Speaker 3: the more I can share with others. So when I 968 00:51:45,280 --> 00:51:47,879 Speaker 3: go through something, I don't look at it like it's 969 00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:53,279 Speaker 3: necessarily just about me I have. I'm a survivor and 970 00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:55,680 Speaker 3: I can hack things. In my mind is incredible, right, 971 00:51:56,840 --> 00:52:00,560 Speaker 3: So with things that would destroy other people come out 972 00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:04,880 Speaker 3: on top something you know, fly, something new, something improved, 973 00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:08,680 Speaker 3: something better. So I believe I'd go through to help others. 974 00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:09,200 Speaker 1: Yeah. 975 00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:12,480 Speaker 2: It was always bigger than us each other. Yeah, yeah, 976 00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:14,960 Speaker 2: I'm not serious. What does your mom say about this? 977 00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:17,680 Speaker 2: But like even though she already knew that her mom knew, 978 00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:19,800 Speaker 2: but like, did your your mom ever just talk about 979 00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:22,440 Speaker 2: you becoming a father and like you reconnected with your 980 00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:24,719 Speaker 2: father and come to fight out. These ain't your kids? Like, 981 00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:27,920 Speaker 2: did she just sit down and talk to you about that? 982 00:52:28,680 --> 00:52:33,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, we've we've had conversations about it. And for one 983 00:52:33,680 --> 00:52:39,040 Speaker 3: she now that she's older, life is humble herd too, 984 00:52:39,320 --> 00:52:42,440 Speaker 3: where a lot of things were for She was like, now, 985 00:52:42,480 --> 00:52:44,160 Speaker 3: it's like, you know what, I want you to get 986 00:52:44,160 --> 00:52:46,960 Speaker 3: to know your father's side of family. And I think 987 00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:48,879 Speaker 3: that's good that you went and you got to see 988 00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:50,640 Speaker 3: your dad. It's things you saw about him that I 989 00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:53,520 Speaker 3: couldn't tell you. Right, you have to just experience yourself 990 00:52:53,560 --> 00:53:00,640 Speaker 3: by interacting with them. My uncles and even my mother, 991 00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:03,120 Speaker 3: they always say, like, your father was this incredible man. 992 00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:10,959 Speaker 3: He's literally like you. But but like where he didn't 993 00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:13,640 Speaker 3: take advantage of those gifts to that degree. He used 994 00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:17,439 Speaker 3: them for bad, for evil. You took that same gift 995 00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:19,520 Speaker 3: and you're using them for good. He could have done 996 00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:25,560 Speaker 3: the same thing. So she wants me to reconnect with 997 00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:29,759 Speaker 3: the boys. To this day, to twins, she still follows them, like, 998 00:53:30,080 --> 00:53:35,359 Speaker 3: not constantly, but she keeps up with him. 999 00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,600 Speaker 2: Do they reach out to her, No. 1000 00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:40,239 Speaker 3: No, she stays. She plays in the back. 1001 00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:42,359 Speaker 1: She watches from the fall. 1002 00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:45,560 Speaker 2: So they don't want to do with your family, I. 1003 00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:50,120 Speaker 3: Don't think they know anything about my family. Really, it 1004 00:53:50,239 --> 00:53:52,400 Speaker 3: was they like lived in a bubble with her. She 1005 00:53:52,440 --> 00:53:56,239 Speaker 3: created a little bubble and there's been no exposure. So 1006 00:53:56,280 --> 00:53:59,120 Speaker 3: for them, I think that I believe, just like people 1007 00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:04,040 Speaker 3: that I've gotten feedba At, that I just abandoned them. 1008 00:54:04,920 --> 00:54:10,040 Speaker 2: That's crazy, y'all. He'll be on TV. Yeah, outside like 1009 00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:13,040 Speaker 2: him and his wife are like love girls, gurus. So 1010 00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:16,480 Speaker 2: that's crazy because they probably he thinking that you don't 1011 00:54:16,239 --> 00:54:17,400 Speaker 2: you don't with them. 1012 00:54:17,719 --> 00:54:22,399 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's true. That's true. That's heartbreaking, and it's 1013 00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:25,319 Speaker 3: and sometimes it's just when I think about reconnecting with 1014 00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:28,520 Speaker 3: them and like reach out, reach out, it's just so 1015 00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:32,759 Speaker 3: it just overwhelms me because there's so much I got 1016 00:54:32,760 --> 00:54:34,200 Speaker 3: to deal with Kirk stuff, and I don't know what 1017 00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:37,080 Speaker 3: she posic she chees in with them, and I don't 1018 00:54:37,120 --> 00:54:42,080 Speaker 3: know how they're gonna come at me. And yeah, and 1019 00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:45,239 Speaker 3: there's so many layers, and then is it gonna be 1020 00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:46,600 Speaker 3: like while you're back on our life, you know what 1021 00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:47,000 Speaker 3: I'm saying. 1022 00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:49,800 Speaker 5: So it's like, why now, right. 1023 00:54:49,680 --> 00:54:54,279 Speaker 3: When I feel that much resistance something that means it's 1024 00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:56,840 Speaker 3: not time right. Once I get to the point I 1025 00:54:56,880 --> 00:54:58,239 Speaker 3: believe that one day if it's meant to be, I'm 1026 00:54:58,239 --> 00:55:00,960 Speaker 3: gonna get to the point where's like I'm in alignment 1027 00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:03,400 Speaker 3: with it. Let's do it, and I'll do it, you know, 1028 00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:07,480 Speaker 3: And so until then, let's see what Let's see what happens. 1029 00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:10,800 Speaker 2: Damn when you'll baby, was you looking at her like 1030 00:55:10,840 --> 00:55:12,319 Speaker 2: I'm on, now, I ain't doing this? 1031 00:55:16,880 --> 00:55:23,960 Speaker 3: It was like girl, you know what? She reassured me. 1032 00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:27,440 Speaker 3: But she did. She was like, yeah, you know you 1033 00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:29,200 Speaker 3: do realize that you do look right. 1034 00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:32,480 Speaker 2: I was like, no, because I can only imagine how 1035 00:55:32,480 --> 00:55:35,840 Speaker 2: they play on your psyche, like like were you nervous 1036 00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:38,600 Speaker 2: or like, I don't know, like that would have like. 1037 00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:43,560 Speaker 3: That would have honestly know, honestly, no, there was no. 1038 00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:48,080 Speaker 3: My intuition was like one, nothing, yeah, the one. There 1039 00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:49,960 Speaker 3: was nothing but love it. I could feel that connection 1040 00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:54,239 Speaker 3: even before she was I could feel it. You know, 1041 00:55:54,320 --> 00:55:57,120 Speaker 3: I'm touching the stomach, I'm talking to her in the stomach, 1042 00:55:57,160 --> 00:55:59,640 Speaker 3: in the womb. I could feel. And that's that and 1043 00:55:59,880 --> 00:56:05,759 Speaker 3: the the gift that I have, and I could yeah, 1044 00:56:06,040 --> 00:56:08,160 Speaker 3: it's my gift. That's really buff. So I could tell 1045 00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:12,520 Speaker 3: when something my intuition is really yeah, yeah, then she 1046 00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:14,640 Speaker 3: looks just like me when she was born. 1047 00:56:14,680 --> 00:56:18,080 Speaker 4: It was like, yeah, yeah, I didn't just look at 1048 00:56:18,080 --> 00:56:25,120 Speaker 4: the toes this time, right up from them, you know. 1049 00:56:25,239 --> 00:56:30,040 Speaker 2: So yeah, you know, because your story is so common unfortunately, 1050 00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:33,200 Speaker 2: are there any positive aspects or civil liners that you 1051 00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:34,880 Speaker 2: found throughout this entire situation? 1052 00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:41,200 Speaker 3: Definitely, Like I said, for one, it put me on 1053 00:56:41,239 --> 00:56:46,319 Speaker 3: the path to being a coach, rebuilding myself mm hmm, 1054 00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:49,600 Speaker 3: helped me to deal with other to help other people 1055 00:56:49,640 --> 00:56:58,640 Speaker 3: that in similar situations. And I guarantee you, even for them, 1056 00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:03,160 Speaker 3: there were benefits. Even for her, there were benefits. You know, 1057 00:57:03,239 --> 00:57:05,759 Speaker 3: whether I ever really know what those are or not, 1058 00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:07,560 Speaker 3: I truly believe that they are. 1059 00:57:07,880 --> 00:57:10,480 Speaker 2: Yeah. So this is a two part question. So what 1060 00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:12,880 Speaker 2: advice would you give to someone that's going through a 1061 00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:15,640 Speaker 2: similar experience and they find out that the kids are 1062 00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:16,080 Speaker 2: not there? 1063 00:57:20,040 --> 00:57:28,760 Speaker 3: M first, get to the point of acceptance before you 1064 00:57:28,840 --> 00:57:29,320 Speaker 3: do anything. 1065 00:57:29,720 --> 00:57:30,320 Speaker 4: Yeah. 1066 00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:37,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, And acceptance is whenever we can't accept what is, 1067 00:57:39,680 --> 00:57:43,080 Speaker 3: then it creates resistance, energetic resistance, and that push us 1068 00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:50,400 Speaker 3: against us, which we create depression, anger, sadness, all of 1069 00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:54,320 Speaker 3: the negative emotions. But once you can get if you 1070 00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:56,320 Speaker 3: can get first get to the point where I am 1071 00:57:56,320 --> 00:57:59,760 Speaker 3: where I am, and that's okay. I am where I am. 1072 00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:07,960 Speaker 3: That's letting go of resistance. Now from there you can 1073 00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:16,400 Speaker 3: deal with things with much more clarity, with much more insight, empathy, alignment, 1074 00:58:17,480 --> 00:58:20,720 Speaker 3: and you're gonna get much better results. And with whether 1075 00:58:20,880 --> 00:58:23,480 Speaker 3: what direction you choose to take, whether you're gonna, you know, 1076 00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:26,480 Speaker 3: try to stay with child's life, or you're gonna go 1077 00:58:26,920 --> 00:58:31,400 Speaker 3: see a separate ways, or whatever you're gonna do, you'll 1078 00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:33,440 Speaker 3: do it from If you have let go of resistance 1079 00:58:33,560 --> 00:58:37,960 Speaker 3: except where you are first, then things will tend to 1080 00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:42,200 Speaker 3: work out better no matter what choice you make, better 1081 00:58:42,240 --> 00:58:45,280 Speaker 3: for everybody. And the key is to want the best 1082 00:58:45,320 --> 00:58:49,080 Speaker 3: for everybody involved, not just for you, but the child, 1083 00:58:49,280 --> 00:58:51,920 Speaker 3: the mother, everybody. 1084 00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:55,640 Speaker 2: Now, the second part to this question is the same beginning, 1085 00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:57,439 Speaker 2: what would you do? What's your advice to someone who 1086 00:58:57,440 --> 00:58:59,600 Speaker 2: find out that the kids are not there but they 1087 00:58:59,640 --> 00:59:03,200 Speaker 2: do want I have a relationship with the kids. Mm hmm, 1088 00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:07,160 Speaker 2: that's a good many. 1089 00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:11,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a good man. And I've known men that 1090 00:59:11,960 --> 00:59:16,600 Speaker 3: have done that. Yeah. And if you're going to do it, 1091 00:59:18,120 --> 00:59:25,600 Speaker 3: don't bullshit yourself, don't harbor resentment, learn learn to love 1092 00:59:25,640 --> 00:59:33,280 Speaker 3: them unconditionally and find reason, you know, meaning in it, 1093 00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:36,800 Speaker 3: Like for example, maybe you were putting in life because 1094 00:59:36,840 --> 00:59:39,680 Speaker 3: they needed you, maybe not to be the biological father, 1095 00:59:39,800 --> 00:59:43,440 Speaker 3: but you they need you as a father figure. Maybe 1096 00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:48,720 Speaker 3: you'll be a better father than the biological father. It's 1097 00:59:48,720 --> 00:59:51,840 Speaker 3: got to go back to e P. Everything is perfect, 1098 00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:54,440 Speaker 3: there are no accidents, there are no mistakes. Everything that's 1099 00:59:54,480 --> 00:59:58,000 Speaker 3: unfolding is unfolding for your greater good. The universe place chess, 1100 00:59:58,040 --> 01:00:02,320 Speaker 3: not checkers. So if you can find a positive perspective 1101 01:00:02,560 --> 01:00:06,320 Speaker 3: and literally let go and get counseling and deal with 1102 01:00:06,320 --> 01:00:09,400 Speaker 3: those emotions, because those things then come up. It's gonna 1103 01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:11,320 Speaker 3: come up. That anger is gonna come up, those thoughts 1104 01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:13,280 Speaker 3: are gonna come up, those moments are gonna come up. 1105 01:00:14,360 --> 01:00:15,840 Speaker 3: And you don't want to take it out on. 1106 01:00:15,840 --> 01:00:18,080 Speaker 2: The kids a fact, you. 1107 01:00:18,040 --> 01:00:21,400 Speaker 3: Don't want to take it on the mother. You don't 1108 01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:23,720 Speaker 3: want to suppress it and have you eat you up alive. 1109 01:00:24,320 --> 01:00:26,360 Speaker 2: Like you gotta really be at peace with this decision. 1110 01:00:26,400 --> 01:00:30,760 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, because, like they say, negative emotions, anger, shame, guilt, rage, 1111 01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:32,720 Speaker 3: it corrodes the container that is carried in. 1112 01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:37,040 Speaker 5: It was that container, yeah yeah. 1113 01:00:37,440 --> 01:00:39,080 Speaker 3: So if you can't so, if you can't be a 1114 01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:42,800 Speaker 3: good container, you can't keep a container right right. 1115 01:00:43,080 --> 01:00:48,880 Speaker 2: Just step away, step away, tap out. You know. I 1116 01:00:48,920 --> 01:00:51,240 Speaker 2: had one more question, but this one just came to mind. 1117 01:00:51,240 --> 01:00:55,000 Speaker 2: What is your advice to women who and I want 1118 01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:56,920 Speaker 2: to be sensitive about this because I do feel like, 1119 01:00:57,360 --> 01:01:00,560 Speaker 2: even though it was unfortunate with your ex did to you, 1120 01:01:01,600 --> 01:01:03,480 Speaker 2: a little part of me feels like she had good 1121 01:01:03,480 --> 01:01:05,880 Speaker 2: intentions because she wanted her father, her children to have 1122 01:01:05,920 --> 01:01:07,800 Speaker 2: a father, and she knew you would be a good father. 1123 01:01:08,360 --> 01:01:09,920 Speaker 2: I don't three how she went about it, but like, 1124 01:01:09,920 --> 01:01:12,760 Speaker 2: what is your advice to women who are in similar 1125 01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:13,920 Speaker 2: situations like your ex? 1126 01:01:16,640 --> 01:01:19,280 Speaker 3: Honesty? Mm hmm, honesty. 1127 01:01:19,360 --> 01:01:20,920 Speaker 2: That was quick. You have to think about that. 1128 01:01:21,600 --> 01:01:24,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, if she would have been honest, I could have 1129 01:01:24,600 --> 01:01:27,720 Speaker 3: dealt with it. Things could have been so much. These 1130 01:01:27,800 --> 01:01:33,480 Speaker 3: things could have been very different. Yeah, but the more 1131 01:01:33,560 --> 01:01:37,680 Speaker 3: she lied, the more she deceived it. Just like assaulting 1132 01:01:37,760 --> 01:01:43,560 Speaker 3: a woman, yeah, for everybody. Yeah, yeah, so, and it's 1133 01:01:43,640 --> 01:01:44,520 Speaker 3: just come clean. 1134 01:01:47,240 --> 01:01:52,520 Speaker 2: The truth to set you free, right, it's cleansing, it's free. 1135 01:01:52,880 --> 01:01:55,000 Speaker 3: Like, yes, it's free. And I get that it's scary. 1136 01:01:55,360 --> 01:01:57,880 Speaker 3: Of course, it's scary, you know, saying it's very I'm 1137 01:01:57,920 --> 01:01:58,440 Speaker 3: sure she was. 1138 01:01:58,680 --> 01:02:01,280 Speaker 2: Very afraid, but twins, Yeah, and. 1139 01:02:01,240 --> 01:02:02,920 Speaker 3: I'm sure she didn't set out to be like, oh, 1140 01:02:03,040 --> 01:02:05,840 Speaker 3: let me have a baby with another guy, and didn't 1141 01:02:05,840 --> 01:02:11,160 Speaker 3: put her on it. She was young, she you know, 1142 01:02:11,240 --> 01:02:16,760 Speaker 3: made a fool's mistake. She made a mistake, but she 1143 01:02:16,800 --> 01:02:18,959 Speaker 3: didn't own up to it. She never she never owned 1144 01:02:19,040 --> 01:02:24,280 Speaker 3: up to it, never to let's day. And I can 1145 01:02:24,360 --> 01:02:25,800 Speaker 3: only imagine what it's done to her. 1146 01:02:26,360 --> 01:02:26,600 Speaker 5: Yeah. 1147 01:02:27,440 --> 01:02:28,640 Speaker 2: I look at them boys every day. 1148 01:02:29,320 --> 01:02:32,640 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, and lived that lie every day, you know. 1149 01:02:35,280 --> 01:02:38,240 Speaker 3: Like I said, I made peace with it. I don't. 1150 01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:42,120 Speaker 3: I look at everybody involved, and it's like, I want 1151 01:02:42,160 --> 01:02:44,560 Speaker 3: the best of everybody, and everybody was doing the best 1152 01:02:44,560 --> 01:02:45,920 Speaker 3: that they could or what they had to work with. 1153 01:02:46,920 --> 01:02:49,480 Speaker 3: And just like I'm didn't judge my dad when he 1154 01:02:49,520 --> 01:02:52,840 Speaker 3: came back, the same thing with her. And I've seen her, 1155 01:02:54,440 --> 01:02:57,000 Speaker 3: I've seen her, well it's been a while. 1156 01:02:57,760 --> 01:03:00,520 Speaker 2: She looked bad, like life took a hold of her. 1157 01:03:02,360 --> 01:03:03,480 Speaker 2: He's shaking his hand out. 1158 01:03:04,800 --> 01:03:05,640 Speaker 3: It was one of those things. 1159 01:03:07,480 --> 01:03:10,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, thought this current wife is bad? 1160 01:03:10,680 --> 01:03:10,880 Speaker 3: Yeah. 1161 01:03:12,440 --> 01:03:15,520 Speaker 2: Would you want an apology from her? Not that you 1162 01:03:15,680 --> 01:03:19,320 Speaker 2: need one, but would you want one? 1163 01:03:19,920 --> 01:03:22,960 Speaker 3: I would love that, Yeah, I would love and you 1164 01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:26,400 Speaker 3: know what not apologize back to her mm hmmm and 1165 01:03:26,560 --> 01:03:37,160 Speaker 3: apologize back to her for what and mm hmm for 1166 01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:44,320 Speaker 3: for my role I played in it because, like I said, 1167 01:03:45,480 --> 01:03:49,760 Speaker 3: I didn't make a cheat. But when I when I 1168 01:03:49,760 --> 01:03:53,880 Speaker 3: look back in retrospect, M, I did things I heard of. 1169 01:03:55,440 --> 01:03:55,640 Speaker 3: You know. 1170 01:03:56,760 --> 01:03:58,320 Speaker 2: Damn, that's real man. 1171 01:03:59,440 --> 01:04:03,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, And it wasn't like you know, maybe sometimes there's 1172 01:04:03,280 --> 01:04:05,960 Speaker 3: some words that I'm saying and how I say things 1173 01:04:06,200 --> 01:04:12,040 Speaker 3: because we're upset with each other. I was growing up, 1174 01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:17,000 Speaker 3: I was like, you know, nineteen eighteen, nineteen seventeen, eighteen, 1175 01:04:17,080 --> 01:04:23,760 Speaker 3: nineteen seventeen eighteen. Yeah, I look back at a lot 1176 01:04:23,760 --> 01:04:25,400 Speaker 3: of things I did when I was young like that, 1177 01:04:25,440 --> 01:04:32,040 Speaker 3: and like, oh shit, how bad did you know? So yeah, 1178 01:04:32,040 --> 01:04:37,560 Speaker 3: I would apologize for that, and I would tell her 1179 01:04:37,520 --> 01:04:39,920 Speaker 3: I love her, So I do love her. I'm in 1180 01:04:39,960 --> 01:04:42,560 Speaker 3: love with her. I love that she played a special 1181 01:04:42,600 --> 01:04:49,200 Speaker 3: part in my life. Yeah. So yeah, that's a that's 1182 01:04:49,200 --> 01:04:51,280 Speaker 3: a good question. Nobody's never ask me. Done. That's good. 1183 01:04:51,880 --> 01:04:52,280 Speaker 3: That's good. 1184 01:04:56,440 --> 01:04:58,480 Speaker 2: I'm just saying I give it up. 1185 01:04:58,880 --> 01:04:59,080 Speaker 3: Yeah. 1186 01:05:00,440 --> 01:05:04,280 Speaker 2: And last, but not least, how has this experience changed 1187 01:05:04,320 --> 01:05:06,120 Speaker 2: your understanding of fatherhood? 1188 01:05:06,160 --> 01:05:06,440 Speaker 4: Now? 1189 01:05:08,760 --> 01:05:17,720 Speaker 3: Mmm, I would say I just learned to love m 1190 01:05:19,480 --> 01:05:28,240 Speaker 3: just learn to love without judgment, without condition, just to 1191 01:05:28,280 --> 01:05:34,240 Speaker 3: be grateful to have the opportunity to be a father. 1192 01:05:35,240 --> 01:05:37,240 Speaker 3: And all all we can. We come into it with 1193 01:05:37,280 --> 01:05:39,400 Speaker 3: a bunch of ideals of what it's supposed to be. 1194 01:05:40,000 --> 01:05:44,080 Speaker 3: And like I said, over the years, I've learned that 1195 01:05:44,120 --> 01:05:47,640 Speaker 3: it's not about the child behaving a certain way or 1196 01:05:47,720 --> 01:05:53,040 Speaker 3: performing a certain way, but making you look good. It's 1197 01:05:53,160 --> 01:05:57,040 Speaker 3: just truly to let y'all to know that there's someone 1198 01:05:57,080 --> 01:06:03,640 Speaker 3: that will love me unconditionally for just me being me. 1199 01:06:03,840 --> 01:06:05,840 Speaker 3: I don't have to prove anything, I have to be anything. 1200 01:06:05,880 --> 01:06:08,800 Speaker 3: I don't have to act a certain way even though 1201 01:06:08,800 --> 01:06:11,800 Speaker 3: they preferred me to, but they still got me and 1202 01:06:11,840 --> 01:06:17,840 Speaker 3: that creates an amazing connection, an amazing bond, and I 1203 01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:20,480 Speaker 3: try to have that with everybody in my life, especially 1204 01:06:20,480 --> 01:06:22,480 Speaker 3: with kids with kids. 1205 01:06:23,600 --> 01:06:28,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think this was a beautiful conversation. I'm so 1206 01:06:28,520 --> 01:06:30,680 Speaker 2: happy that we was able to make this happen because 1207 01:06:31,080 --> 01:06:32,920 Speaker 2: you know, when I first met you, I'm like, oh 1208 01:06:32,960 --> 01:06:35,000 Speaker 2: my god, Like I was like, this is my big brother, 1209 01:06:35,080 --> 01:06:35,680 Speaker 2: Like I feel like this. 1210 01:06:35,680 --> 01:06:36,720 Speaker 3: Is the man version of me. 1211 01:06:36,960 --> 01:06:40,160 Speaker 2: Like yeah, like you have made me feel so comfortable 1212 01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:41,880 Speaker 2: and so safe in the short amount of time that 1213 01:06:41,920 --> 01:06:44,080 Speaker 2: I have met you and your wife. So I'm just 1214 01:06:44,120 --> 01:06:46,080 Speaker 2: so happy that I was able to share a story 1215 01:06:46,160 --> 01:06:48,120 Speaker 2: about fatherhood and it was with you, so thank you 1216 01:06:48,160 --> 01:06:49,520 Speaker 2: so much. I really appreciate it. 1217 01:06:50,600 --> 01:06:51,840 Speaker 3: I appreciate. 1218 01:06:56,120 --> 01:07:02,240 Speaker 2: Not us are hugging yes, And to the listeners, thank you. 1219 01:07:02,320 --> 01:07:04,360 Speaker 2: If you have any questions, comments and concerns, please make 1220 01:07:04,400 --> 01:07:07,720 Speaker 2: sure to email me at hello at thepsgepodcast dot com. 1221 01:07:08,080 --> 01:07:10,920 Speaker 2: And until next time, Guys, like I always say, make 1222 01:07:10,960 --> 01:07:13,080 Speaker 2: sure you share your storyline because you never know how 1223 01:07:13,080 --> 01:07:17,800 Speaker 2: it can be someone else's lifeline. Until next time, everyone, 1224 01:07:18,160 --> 01:07:21,000 Speaker 2: Later you're gonna say. 1225 01:07:20,840 --> 01:07:22,439 Speaker 3: Bye, good Bob. 1226 01:07:31,920 --> 01:07:35,040 Speaker 2: The Professional Homegirl Podcast is a production of the Black 1227 01:07:35,040 --> 01:07:39,040 Speaker 2: Effect Podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the 1228 01:07:39,080 --> 01:07:42,280 Speaker 2: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your 1229 01:07:42,280 --> 01:07:45,360 Speaker 2: favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe and rate the show, 1230 01:07:45,640 --> 01:07:48,080 Speaker 2: and you can connect with me on social media at 1231 01:07:48,120 --> 01:07:49,400 Speaker 2: the PHG podcast