Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, How are you?
Speaker 2: Are you good? How are you?
Speaker 1: I'm a gecko on the computer.
Speaker 2: Life's crazy, Oh, I goes, that sounds very exciting.
Speaker 1: What is what is your name?
Speaker 2: My name Isla? So they still like be talking to.
Speaker 1: You, Liila. It's very nice to be talking to you too.
Speaker 1: Is there anything in particular that, uh you wanted to
Speaker 1: to talk about here?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 2: Yeah, like I wanted to first share an experience of
Speaker 2: mine that I had like a couple of years ago
Speaker 2: when I was in high school. So my senior year,
Speaker 2: my high school math teacher actually tried like breaking into
Speaker 2: my home and like causing harm to me and stuff.
Speaker 1: Your math teacher broke into your home?
Speaker 2: Yeah, like my algebra math teacher.
Speaker 1: Uh how did that happen?
Speaker 2: Well, like to start, like I took algebra my senior
Speaker 2: year and this is like in twenty nineteen, so this
Speaker 2: was a few years ago. And my actually my identical
Speaker 2: twin sister and I both had him like as our teacher,
Speaker 2: and he was like super normal.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 2: He was considered a young teacher, like in his early thirties,
Speaker 2: I guess, and like he was like super cool, especially
Speaker 2: for the seniors since we were all going to graduate
Speaker 2: but I started personally noticing like his weird behavior probably
Speaker 2: like a month before, like my twin and I turned eighteen,
Speaker 2: Like no, why, Like there was a point basically where
Speaker 2: like she was at his desk by getting her work
Speaker 2: done or like getting it checked or something, and like
Speaker 2: she walked away, and I like was watching him, and
Speaker 2: like I swear on everything, like I saw him look
Speaker 2: at like my sister's but like I saw him checking
Speaker 2: her out.
Speaker 1: Uh how did this escalate into him going to your house?
Speaker 2: So yeah, so after my twin and I turned in eighteen,
Speaker 2: we definitely like started noticing he was a little bit
Speaker 2: more like hands on with us, which was just sort
Speaker 2: of odd because like our birthdays in April, so like
Speaker 2: the year ended in June, and by then, like we
Speaker 2: basically were seniors, so like most of our work was done,
Speaker 2: So it was sort of odd that he was giving
Speaker 2: us like out of like the entire class and most attention.
Speaker 2: And then it basically started the night of our senior prom.
Speaker 2: He wasn't able to like chaperone, so he was like, oh, like,
Speaker 2: you know, I want all of you guys to like
Speaker 2: send me pictures like of like how you guys look,
Speaker 2: you know, this being sort of like a normal teacher
Speaker 2: towards the end of the year, so like he ing
Speaker 2: out his number to like a bunch of students, including
Speaker 2: my sister and I, and so I remember the night
Speaker 2: of our senior prom, like my sister and I were like, okay,
Speaker 2: like let's send like pictures to silence though, and so
Speaker 2: then we did, and then like the odd thing was
Speaker 2: like he sent like hard eyes back, like the hard
Speaker 2: eye emojis. So I think that's sort of what we
Speaker 2: were just like, eh, like this is sort of weird.
Speaker 2: And so then weekend of our senior prom, like a
Speaker 2: lot of us go down to like the Jersey Shore
Speaker 2: for the weekend, and so the entire weekend, like he
Speaker 2: was sort of like you know, checking in casually saying hey,
Speaker 2: like you know, like hope you guys are like being safe,
Speaker 2: because like he started knew that we were all like
Speaker 2: obviously drinking and stuff, but he was just I don't know,
Speaker 2: he was being sort of normal, but like almost like
Speaker 2: crossing many boundaries.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, how did he break into your house?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, Okay, So then continuing on, like we just
Speaker 2: kept like noticing really like shange behavior. He's being super
Speaker 2: like inappropriate at times, like the nineteen sending pictures of
Speaker 2: himself that were completely inappropriate. Also, yeah, so we after
Speaker 2: we got back from our senior prom, like, he bought
Speaker 2: breakfast for like the entire class, and so then after
Speaker 2: we ate, like my twin and I ate at breakfast,
Speaker 2: he got us. We actually ended up getting really sick,
Speaker 2: and we later came to find out that he actually
Speaker 2: drugged us as well.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Yeah, what were do you, like, were
Speaker 1: you like at his house.
Speaker 2: No, So, like he brought brexis in like to the
Speaker 2: school like four hours class specifically because we had came
Speaker 2: back from like our senior like week and away. So
Speaker 2: it was just like a nice gesture he was trying
Speaker 2: to do. But like my sister and I don't eat
Speaker 2: thee for pork, and he bought like pork bacon like
Speaker 2: egg and cheeses for like most people, So he specifically
Speaker 2: gave my sister and I like a different meal because
Speaker 2: we don't eat that. So we thought it was like
Speaker 2: super nice of him, but then like you later found
Speaker 2: out like we were drugs because we got like really
Speaker 2: insanely sick, both of us, like for the rest of
Speaker 2: the day, like we were like vomiting, So like.
Speaker 1: Is it well, I'll I mean, I guess I'll let
Speaker 1: you finish. But is this guy in jail now or something?
Speaker 2: As of right now, he's not in jail. He did
Speaker 2: get five years probation and I got like a lifelonger
Speaker 2: straining order against him, and so did my sister as well.
Speaker 1: Okay, fire sick? Uh what this was? How long ago
Speaker 1: was this?
Speaker 2: So this is in twenty nineteen, so I was like,
Speaker 2: what twenty like about three years ago.
Speaker 1: So he's not in jail, but he's like on probation.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he ended up giving five years probation just because
Speaker 2: like the prosecutor is also wanted to like spare my
Speaker 2: sister and are like the trials because we didn't really
Speaker 2: feel comfortable like sharing this story in front of like
Speaker 2: you know, our family and friends and peers and stuff.
Speaker 2: So he just like pled guilty and like that's like
Speaker 2: the deal that like we got basically.
Speaker 1: So I mean, let me ask you this. You sound
Speaker 1: I don't know what I mean. You sound very like
Speaker 1: comfortable tone in this story. Now, like how is your
Speaker 1: and I mean I don't know if you are, I
Speaker 1: don't I don't really know how you actually feel I mean,
Speaker 1: how is your kind of perspective and relationship with this situation,
Speaker 1: you know, evolved over the past few years.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I definitely think I've like matured since then and like,
Speaker 2: you know, gotten to the point where I definitely feel
Speaker 2: more comfortable sharing my story. I think in the beginning
Speaker 2: I was super defensive and like honestly like just didn't
Speaker 2: want to talk about it, just completely wanted to ignore
Speaker 2: it because I was honestly just so embarrassed and like confused.
Speaker 2: But it's like now that I recognize that like I
Speaker 2: was groomed, that I was taken advantage of by someone
Speaker 2: who was supposed to protect me. Like, I feel like
Speaker 2: I honestly am okay with like telling my story, just
Speaker 2: because it brings awareness to people who like could possibly
Speaker 2: in you know, bringing situations like I what unfortunately was.
Speaker 2: So I think I definitely come to terms and you know,
Speaker 2: like healed from this.
Speaker 1: And what about your sister, I think.
Speaker 2: She like the same probably goes for her as well.
Speaker 2: I think she's definitely less talkative about it because I
Speaker 2: did tell her like that I was possibly going to
Speaker 2: like call in and like share this, and she was
Speaker 2: just like, you know, I support you, but I won't
Speaker 2: want nothing to do.
Speaker 1: With it basically. Okay, Yeah, Like did did you like,
Speaker 1: was this something you like talked about a lot in
Speaker 1: therapy or like had to kind of like what was
Speaker 1: your way of like I guess, uh uh sort of
Speaker 1: sort of dealing with this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I did end up actually seeing a therapist
Speaker 2: for like quite some time after like the whole situation,
Speaker 2: and I like doro that I was like actually able
Speaker 2: to like you know, really trying to take it to
Speaker 2: court and whatnot. Because after I graduated, COVID shortly happened afterwards,
Speaker 2: so like everything got really delayed life, Like I was,
Speaker 2: I actually had the time to heal before having to
Speaker 2: like legally deal with everything.
Speaker 1: Mm hm.
Speaker 2: So I definitely do think I had like time to like,
Speaker 2: you know, cope with what sort of happened.
Speaker 1: Was there a you said there was no trial and
Speaker 1: he just kind of like pleaded guilty immediately?
Speaker 2: Yeah, he just pleaded guilty because like my sister and
Speaker 2: I like didn't really feel comfortable with going to a trial,
Speaker 2: and so like with the prosecutors, like I'm born to
Speaker 2: lawyers of that son, he sort of, I guess like
Speaker 2: jumped in a chance and said Hey, we'll sweet guilty
Speaker 2: for like you know, less of sentence.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm mm hmm. So what is your life like now?
Speaker 1: Are you in in college? Are you working?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm currently in college. I'm currently working as well.
Speaker 1: Okay, so it's pretty good.
Speaker 2: Honestly, it's it's really like I think I've definitely grown
Speaker 2: and like completely changed since like that night. Oh I
Speaker 2: didn't even tell you about how he tried to break in?
Speaker 1: How did he try to break in?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it was like a night of our senior
Speaker 2: barbecue and like my sister and I like had went
Speaker 2: out with like our friends like after like a night
Speaker 2: of our senior barbecue, which he knew we would be
Speaker 2: at the school for, and so we went up to
Speaker 2: play this diner and then we get I'm getting weird
Speaker 2: quick calls from him like constantly, but at this point
Speaker 2: we're just ignoring him, like we're just trying to graduate.
Speaker 2: And then we planned on like reporting everything because we
Speaker 2: only were graduating in like two days. And so then
Speaker 2: suddenly like we get a call from like our mom,
Speaker 2: and my mom's just like, hey, like, are you guys
Speaker 2: like downstairs? And at the time, like living in my
Speaker 2: home was just like my mom, like my younger sister
Speaker 2: and then my twin and I. But my twin and
Speaker 2: I were out and so we were like no, like
Speaker 2: we're at the diner or whatever, and she was just like, well,
Speaker 2: like someone's trying to like like get inside the house.
Speaker 2: And like Miko, which is like our dog at the time,
Speaker 2: was like going crazy, like he keeps barkating growing, which
Speaker 2: like never does and immediately like my guts these jobs,
Speaker 2: Like I knailed it was him, Like he had to
Speaker 2: like be trying to break into my home because like
Speaker 2: he has made for us before like prior, and so
Speaker 2: like we medi like a rush me like to like
Speaker 2: my house. Like I'm trying to my mom like you know,
Speaker 2: like lock the doors, like call the police to sound
Speaker 2: the third and like she's generally confuted at this point
Speaker 2: because like we haven't told like our family for anything.
Speaker 2: And so then I finally get on the phone with
Speaker 2: him and he's like just sounds super intoxicated. He's just
Speaker 2: like I don't know why he won't talk to me,
Speaker 2: Like I didn't have to come to this, and like
Speaker 2: he's literally a beenning to like being outside of my
Speaker 2: homes and whatnot. He's like describing my house like to me,
Speaker 2: like Walt on the phone in the entire time, I'm
Speaker 2: literally just like screaming like you know, like get the
Speaker 2: fuck away from my house, like it's not okay. And
Speaker 2: he got like my address obviously from being like you
Speaker 2: know my teacher. Oh my god, you have a lot
Speaker 2: of my personal information. Yeah, and then please tell me that.
Speaker 1: Damn. So so he's so he's on probate, like is
Speaker 1: he not? So he's just like he's like at his
Speaker 1: house right now, like he's not.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, I see.
Speaker 1: Damn. I would assume there would be like pretty crazy
Speaker 1: criminal charges for that.
Speaker 2: No, yeah, absolutely, Like I would assume that as well.
Speaker 2: I just think it was just because it was like
Speaker 2: during COVID that like we felt so rushed almost to
Speaker 2: get it over with and like no longer delay that
Speaker 2: he just got up so easy.
Speaker 1: In my opinion, how did does is that something that
Speaker 1: like still upsets you or do you do you feel
Speaker 1: like you're you're kind of you you've moved on.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think overall like I've definitely moved on, But do
Speaker 2: you think there are just stays where I'm feeling so
Speaker 2: like mentally good and stuff and I'm like, damn, like
Speaker 2: I could have actually probably faced him in court if
Speaker 2: like I would have been like as muchure as I
Speaker 2: am now like.
Speaker 1: At that time, right right, Well, I'm glad to hear
Speaker 1: that you you feel like you're you're doing well and
Speaker 1: that you're comfortable enough to talk about that. I mean,
Speaker 1: this is a totally fucked up story.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it was totally fucked up. Definitely, absolutely, I
Speaker 2: completely agree.
Speaker 1: How does your sister what's what's like? What's her deal now?
Speaker 1: Is she also in school and doing well?
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's doing great. She's in like a fantastic committed relationship,
Speaker 2: and she's suit the same guy that she was with
Speaker 2: when this is happening. And like the teacher that we're
Speaker 2: talking about pete another student to slash her boyfriend's tires
Speaker 2: for seven hundred dollars.
Speaker 1: He paid somebody to slash her boyfriend's tires.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he paid another student.
Speaker 1: That's crazy.
Speaker 2: Yeah he didn't he was a gemini too, and like
Speaker 2: ULTI mentally also, I don't know, he's definitely crazy.
Speaker 1: What was what was this guy?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: What did he teach?
Speaker 4: So?
Speaker 2: He talked algebra two? Like I said, like in the beginning,
Speaker 2: like he seems like a normal, like you know, chill
Speaker 2: younger teacher, you know in high school. Like this was
Speaker 2: like younger teachers who try to like almost fit in
Speaker 2: with the gudents.
Speaker 4: Like he wasn't too much of.
Speaker 2: That, but he also wasn't like super hard on us.
Speaker 1: Uh huh.
Speaker 2: Like he was definitely like a like a very relaxed
Speaker 2: teacher I can say, and definitely across the line of
Speaker 2: probably like appropriateness multiple times. But yeah, he taught algebra.
Speaker 1: And like I guess in just like on a day
Speaker 1: to day basis in class, like he just were there
Speaker 1: was there anything like, well, I guess you already said
Speaker 1: all the things I was gonna ask, like anything that
Speaker 1: kind of tipped you off preemptively that he might be
Speaker 1: uh you know, a fucking you know, doing weird shit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, honestly, I definitely think there were like multiple things
Speaker 2: Like perfect example, I really stuck at math, and like
Speaker 2: I think towards closer when I started like closer when
Speaker 2: I was training eighteen, I started noticing like my grade
Speaker 2: picking up randomly, and I was just like, oh, like
Speaker 2: that's weird, Like I don't think I got to like
Speaker 2: that test questions right and stuff and like my answers
Speaker 2: would be changed, like he essentially we later found out,
Speaker 2: was like changing my grades like for the better. Actually,
Speaker 2: so I guess like that was like something I could have. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I really I don't know in this guy's mind, like
Speaker 1: what like how he thought this would all go down?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have no idea, to be honest with you,
Speaker 2: like I think he is very delusional, uh huh, like
Speaker 2: being very confident who was gonna get caught.
Speaker 1: How did you feel like family react to all of this?
Speaker 2: How did my family? So, Like my twin and I
Speaker 2: are actually like the youngest of like a lot of girls,
Speaker 2: like we have five sisters and all, so I feel
Speaker 2: like when our older sisters found out, they were just
Speaker 2: more so like, you know, in suprotective mode, like that
Speaker 2: we're gonna find this guy, like we're gonna help you
Speaker 2: do this and stuff like that. And so with my
Speaker 2: mom and I think my parents were super like, you know,
Speaker 2: we're gonna help you guys through this, like super supportive.
Speaker 2: But at the time, like we really were just in
Speaker 2: a place where we just wanted to ignore it and
Speaker 2: pretend it didn't happen, Like we were still very much traumatized.
Speaker 2: So I don't think we were appreciative of it like
Speaker 2: as we are now like back then. So they definitely
Speaker 2: were like you know, typical family, like trying to like
Speaker 2: protect and you know, defend us.
Speaker 1: Well, Leila, well listen, I'm glad it sounds like you're,
Speaker 1: i mean, all this crazy shit, you know, withstanding, it
Speaker 1: sounds like you're you're living life in good spirits. And
Speaker 1: I'm happy to hear that you sound like you have
Speaker 1: a you know, a good uh I guess as as
Speaker 1: good of an attitude as you can about this whole thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like to think, so thank you for recognizing that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure. I mean that's a tough thing to
Speaker 1: do in the face of such a you know, crazy,
Speaker 1: crazy situation. It's it's yeah, it's good to hear that
Speaker 1: you and your sister are are you know, living living
Speaker 1: good lives regardless, And yeah, I don't know. Is there
Speaker 1: any other kind of aspect of this or anything else
Speaker 1: that you you you want to say about it or
Speaker 1: say to the people of the computer before we go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think first I will say, like if a
Speaker 2: teacher or someone that you trust that older doing extra attention,
Speaker 2: sometimes it's not good attention and it's hard to definitely
Speaker 2: recognize when you're being groomed, but definitely try to be
Speaker 2: on the lookout. Also, gak like I don't know who's
Speaker 2: like picking the music for like the whole waiting room.
Speaker 2: Nothing against it, but it was a little triggering. It
Speaker 2: was super intense. You should probably ask me to like
Speaker 2: low vibrational tunes.
Speaker 1: You know, people, people listen people. People have told me
Speaker 1: about the hold music for a while. And here's the thing,
Speaker 1: I just I don't. I don't know how to change it.
Speaker 1: I have no idea. I've I've looked at the settings page,
Speaker 1: I've tried clicking and dragging things, or I have no
Speaker 1: idea to I have no idea to change it. So
Speaker 1: you know, I'm just I embraced that which I cannot change, Okay,
Speaker 1: I can I can.
Speaker 2: See why I can understand that, but I completely agree.
Speaker 1: Well, thanks for sharing, Leila. Hope you just to continue
Speaker 1: to do well and have a good night. Man.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me. Have a great night.
Speaker 1: You two take care.
Speaker 2: Heybye.
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know if I have any post
Speaker 1: call thoughts to that one. It was pretty crazy. I mean,
Speaker 1: I I kind of said what I wanted to say.
Speaker 1: It sounded like she had a good attitude towards it.
Speaker 1: It's nice that she feels comfortable talking about it. I'm
Speaker 1: glad that she's made that development. Fucking we're very strange.
Speaker 1: I guess that's I don't know anything about the legal
Speaker 1: system because I'm a guy in a gecko costume. But
Speaker 1: it's very strange that that guy's not in jail. She
Speaker 1: said he had five years probation. I'm also dumb and
Speaker 1: don't really even know what that means. Does that mean
Speaker 1: that like he's like, is he just like chilling? Like
Speaker 1: is he allowed to go to the park and shit? Like,
Speaker 1: what does that mean? Does he go to jail after
Speaker 1: five years? I don't know. It's uh, that's weird to me.
Speaker 1: But but anyway, I don't know. I get. All that
Speaker 1: matters is that Uhlilah uh is doing good?
Speaker 5: Now?
Speaker 1: Hello, le Hi, how's it going? It's going good. What's
Speaker 1: going on with you? Not much?
Speaker 6: Just just hanging.
Speaker 1: Out, Sean. It says here that, uh, there's a girl
Speaker 1: at your work who makes out with dogs and you
Speaker 1: and it makes you uncomfortable.
Speaker 6: Very Yeah, it makes everybody uncomfortable pretty much.
Speaker 1: All right, Tell me about that. Tell me about that.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, So we'll have like a little functions, like
Speaker 6: work functions, and we'll hang out and stuff, and some
Speaker 6: of the guys whom work will bring their dogs, and uh,
Speaker 6: you know, everyone likes dogs. But she like will play
Speaker 6: with them and they'll lick her face and she'll like
Speaker 6: let them lick in her mouth.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm.
Speaker 6: And then she'll she'll like suck their tongues and like
Speaker 6: bite their tongues and they lips. Okay, well, I mean
Speaker 6: they're dogs, you know, I guess, like, but like she
Speaker 6: kind of like sees into it and it's kind of weird,
Speaker 6: you know.
Speaker 3: What.
Speaker 1: And this is where do you work again?
Speaker 6: I'm in like the military. But regardless, like all of
Speaker 6: the families and stuff will bring their dogs, and she
Speaker 6: just like any dogs, she'll like try and make.
Speaker 4: Out with, you know.
Speaker 1: Okay, And so she's like sucking on the dog tongue.
Speaker 1: Is she like is she like licking the dogs? Is
Speaker 1: it just the dog mouths and she's just making out
Speaker 1: with them. She's not like touching the dog's penises and stuff.
Speaker 6: No, No, I mean that's that I hope not at
Speaker 6: least not.
Speaker 1: What I I hope not too. That's why I'm asking.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's disgusting. But there's this like one specific like
Speaker 6: story where like the dog kind of like freaked out
Speaker 6: about it and didn't like bite her anything. But like
Speaker 6: I heard one of my other coworkers say that, like
Speaker 6: they were like the dog was like traumatized almost like
Speaker 6: he like it was at his house and she was
Speaker 6: doing her thing with the dog, and the dog like
Speaker 6: ran away and like was like having the zuomies pretty much.
Speaker 1: So she was she was making out with this dog,
Speaker 1: and then the dog got scared and ran away, and
Speaker 1: there was like dog trauma.
Speaker 6: To me, that's what it sounded like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, I don't know. I have no fucking idea.
Speaker 1: I don't know anything about dog psychology or like what
Speaker 1: how dogs respond to you know, being Yeah, that's kissing.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it kind of makes me wonder like if dogs
Speaker 6: can speak, you know, like what would they like?
Speaker 1: Well, you know, it's interesting and I just I just
Speaker 1: realized this just now. Dogs don't even make out with
Speaker 1: each other. Really. Animals don't really kiss each other on
Speaker 1: the lips really like humans do, really do they?
Speaker 6: No, that's true, I don't think so.
Speaker 1: I've never seen that, so it's not a natural thing
Speaker 1: for them.
Speaker 6: Right, and this and this girl is kind of feeding
Speaker 6: into like and feeding into that, you know, like dogs
Speaker 6: like the licks because they like I think that's I
Speaker 6: don't know, I don't know why they lick. It's kind
Speaker 6: of weird, but it's it's another person looking or like
Speaker 6: sucking a dog's tongue that has been eating shit, you know, Yeah,
Speaker 6: like you don't know what they do.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean you you could say that about making
Speaker 1: out with a person too, you know.
Speaker 2: That's that's true.
Speaker 6: But I've never met her, like.
Speaker 1: If like if like, if you get a hand job
Speaker 1: from someone, you don't know where their hand has been,
Speaker 1: like I've, I've I've there's been plenty of times where
Speaker 1: I've gotten like shit on my hand. Yeah, just throughout
Speaker 1: my life. I've never like gotten ship on my hand
Speaker 1: and then like touched another person with my shi hand.
Speaker 1: But throughout the you know, however many years my hand
Speaker 1: has existed, there's been lots of shit on it. Right,
Speaker 1: And that's true. That's true about most That's probably true
Speaker 1: about a lot of people's hands. And yet you still like,
Speaker 1: you know, shake everyone shake people's hands and get hand jobs.
Speaker 1: And do all that stuff.
Speaker 6: Yeah, so here's here's the thing about that is you
Speaker 6: wash your hands, you know, dog do dog don't wash
Speaker 6: their mouth.
Speaker 1: They don't.
Speaker 6: They don't like brush their own teeth, and they probably
Speaker 6: like have that bacteria growing inside their mouths for who
Speaker 6: knows how long before this girl comes along and starts
Speaker 6: sucking on their mouths.
Speaker 1: You know, you ever heard the thing where the dog's
Speaker 1: mouth is cleaner than the humans?
Speaker 6: That is what they say. Huh and thee though I
Speaker 6: don't think it is, but I mean, what like dog
Speaker 6: bread smells, you know.
Speaker 1: Uh, So, are you gonna do anything about this or
Speaker 1: are you just kind of you know, freaked out about it?
Speaker 6: Kind of like brought it up to her. I was
Speaker 6: like that it's kind of weird that you do that.
Speaker 6: And she like defends herself. She's like, I'm just being playful.
Speaker 6: They like it and and it's fun. Like they they're
Speaker 6: they're they're just like they like it and they they're
Speaker 6: being plainful. And I'm like, you don't know if they
Speaker 6: like it or not. It's weird, Like you're making me uncomfortable.
Speaker 6: It's not even her dogs. You know, she doesn't even
Speaker 6: have dogs.
Speaker 1: How do you how did how did the owners look
Speaker 1: at her when when she's making out with their dogs?
Speaker 6: Well, they they I don't know what they I don't
Speaker 6: think they tell her to stop. They don't like tell
Speaker 6: her to stop or anything. But because she's, like I
Speaker 6: guess giving them like something to do, they're out of
Speaker 6: their hair, you know, I guess. So if it was
Speaker 6: my dog, I wouldn't let my dog around this person,
Speaker 6: to be honest.
Speaker 1: So so you're telling me that you believe that from
Speaker 1: the owner's perspective, the owner is letting this girl make
Speaker 1: out with their dog because it gives their dog something
Speaker 1: to do, and then they don't have to watch their
Speaker 1: dog because their dog is busy being made out with
Speaker 1: by this woman.
Speaker 6: Pretty much. I mean, I've I've talked to one of
Speaker 6: them about it, because he was the one that told
Speaker 6: me that story about his dog in the zoomis and
Speaker 6: he pretty much like let the dog like run away,
Speaker 6: and he like put it in the other room for
Speaker 6: a while, and he said that it was weird. But she, like,
Speaker 6: you know, she won't stop, like she don't think I
Speaker 6: think that dog like is afraid of her now, is
Speaker 6: what he said.
Speaker 1: Well, Sean, is there anything else you want to say
Speaker 1: to other people of the computer before we go.
Speaker 6: Wash your hands, Uh, don't fuck other dogs' mouths, and
Speaker 6: uh have a good.
Speaker 1: Day, thanks for calling, of course, have a good one.
Speaker 1: I was I have. This is fucked up, But you
Speaker 1: know what, what is sad is that dog like if
Speaker 1: I like, let's say you were a dog and you
Speaker 1: really did want to make out with a human woman,
Speaker 1: there would be no way for you to express that.
Speaker 1: And so we don't know if dogs like making out
Speaker 1: with people, but we still villainize it even though we
Speaker 1: don't know if it's if they like it, which is what,
Speaker 1: which is, by the way, the right move. I think
Speaker 1: that's a good thing to do. I think we should
Speaker 1: continue to villainize making out with dogs because scenario one,
Speaker 1: dogs like making out with human people and we villainize it,
Speaker 1: and the dogs are upset because they don't get to
Speaker 1: make out with human people. Scenario two, the dogs don't
Speaker 1: like making out with human women and we don't villainize it,
Speaker 1: and then the dogs are you know, so I think
Speaker 1: it's good that we villainize it. I think the risks
Speaker 1: of not villainizing making out with dogs outweigh the the
Speaker 1: pros of doing it. If that makes sense. Let's take
Speaker 1: another call. Hello, Hello, Hi, oh Hi, what's up. What
Speaker 1: are you doing?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 3: I'm just drinking and playing games like a loser.
Speaker 1: What is your name?
Speaker 4: Moss? It's not really my name, but I figure it'll work.
Speaker 1: Moss. I have a fake name tip for you.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 1: The whole point of the fake name is that you
Speaker 1: play it off like it's your real name. Actually, I
Speaker 1: guess it's not necessarily true. I forget I said anything.
Speaker 1: I don't know anything about anything.
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know shit. Uh okay, Okay, what's going on
Speaker 1: with you today, Moss?
Speaker 4: Just another day of you know, bomb, another day of
Speaker 4: what being a bomb?
Speaker 1: Just yeah, Well, Moss, it says here that you feel
Speaker 1: as that you're addicted to buying a coworker, You have
Speaker 1: a crush on stuff, and you you claim that you
Speaker 1: have bought him at least three hundred dollars worth of stuff.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, that's that's true.
Speaker 1: Okay. What kinds of stuff are you buying for for
Speaker 1: this coworker?
Speaker 4: Well, he's a.
Speaker 3: Video game collector, so I'm getting him video game consoles,
Speaker 3: games that are resold for a higher price at resale
Speaker 3: shops that kind of thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, and how has he been responding to these gifts?
Speaker 4: Just verbal?
Speaker 3: Hey thanks, maybe a pat on the shoulder, but uh,
Speaker 3: nothing like physical and returned or anything like that.
Speaker 1: Okay, why do you feel like you are buying him
Speaker 1: these gifts?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm worried that I'm like doing it to why
Speaker 4: his affection when I also feel like I just enjoy
Speaker 4: giving stuff, but my giving is targeted towards him.
Speaker 3: And not just giving in general.
Speaker 4: So that's why I feel like I'm it's more selfish
Speaker 4: than anything altruistic.
Speaker 1: Okay, you feel as though you're trying to buy his affection? Yeah,
Speaker 1: is this something you've ever done in the past? I
Speaker 1: think so, Okay, why do you feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: if this is something you haven't done in the past,
Speaker 1: why do you feel like, because you know, I assume
Speaker 1: you've had crushes in the past, and you've looked, you know,
Speaker 1: liked people in the past, why do you feel like,
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, this is how you're you know,
Speaker 1: responding to this crush.
Speaker 3: Well, the thing is like, I've never really had a
Speaker 3: crush before. I guess growing up, I'm like didn't really
Speaker 3: seek a lot of connections with people, and then for
Speaker 3: some reason late in college, I'm all of a sudden
Speaker 3: like wanting to be friends and actually developed feelings for
Speaker 3: other people. And I guess, since I have a lack
Speaker 3: of experience with this whole crush thing, I'm just resorting
Speaker 3: to the buy things way because that's all I know,
Speaker 3: I guess.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, And uh, how like long have you been
Speaker 1: buying some gifts for?
Speaker 3: I say, since September, so a couple months.
Speaker 1: Here, Okay, So I mean, aside from just buying gifts,
Speaker 1: have you like told him that you like him and
Speaker 1: asked him if he wants to go out with you
Speaker 1: or or or made any kind of direct move? Uh
Speaker 1: like this?
Speaker 4: Well, we were having a conversation once and he said
Speaker 4: he doesn't date coworkers, So I'm pretty sure that was
Speaker 4: an indirect rejection.
Speaker 3: Okay, at least that's how I took it.
Speaker 1: Okay, M Why do you feel like buying him things
Speaker 1: was the best way to get his attention?
Speaker 3: Maybe I'm like insecure in my own personality to attract
Speaker 3: him and get his attention, And that's fine.
Speaker 4: It's just easier then, like the way to build a relationship.
Speaker 4: I guess instead, of just talking in general, because I'm
Speaker 4: not that good at talking either.
Speaker 1: Have you ever had a boyfriend before or been in
Speaker 1: a relationship? No?
Speaker 4: Nice?
Speaker 1: Okay, by the way, nothing wrong with that. Do you
Speaker 1: have a lot of friends? No? Okay? Have you had
Speaker 1: friends really much at all throughout your life?
Speaker 4: A few in high school, but that's about it.
Speaker 1: Okay. So you say that you feel like you're not
Speaker 1: confident in yourself enough to sort of have a normal
Speaker 1: conversation with this guy, and so you've kind of you
Speaker 1: know that meme of like the kid who's walking up
Speaker 1: steps and he just like takes his leg and puts
Speaker 1: it like a a bunch of other steps. You're like
Speaker 1: doing that but with buying gifts.
Speaker 4: But what steps am I missing?
Speaker 1: What steps are you missing? Well, let's let's go back
Speaker 1: to this, like where do you feel as though you
Speaker 1: are like in your mind? Where do you feel as
Speaker 1: though you're you're lacking in your ability to have conversations
Speaker 1: with other people?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: What? What? What do you feel as insufficient about yourself
Speaker 1: in your own mind?
Speaker 4: I would say probably just talking in general.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I mesh words together and improv is not
Speaker 3: my thing. If I have to talk on the spot.
Speaker 4: I just slimsy.
Speaker 3: My words use a lot of filler and I'm not
Speaker 3: very clear, So I just have bad speech skills.
Speaker 2: I guess.
Speaker 6: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: And has this been a thing for for a long time?
Speaker 4: Yeah, mm hm.
Speaker 1: Hmmm. Let me ask you a question, do you have
Speaker 1: a real therapist?
Speaker 4: I used to, but I didn't need to get back to.
Speaker 3: Doing that.
Speaker 1: When you brought this up with them, what kinds of
Speaker 1: things would they tell you?
Speaker 3: Oh, I haven't had a therapist in the hot minute now,
Speaker 3: so I haven't talked to a professional about this.
Speaker 6: M hm.
Speaker 1: See, it's it's interesting and it's interesting to me too, because, like,
Speaker 1: I mean, we're having a conversation right now, and you've
Speaker 1: given me a lot of infom we we've I would
Speaker 1: say you, this has been a successful conversation so far.
Speaker 1: How in whatever rubric you would use, did you just
Speaker 1: success of a conversation? And you say you're not good
Speaker 1: at improv you're not good at expressing yourself, but yet
Speaker 1: you have been able to express yourself pretty well over
Speaker 1: the course of our conversation. And so it's kind of
Speaker 1: making me think, like, there's this weird thing and I
Speaker 1: fall victim to it too. Where you like build up
Speaker 1: these uh I think they're called schemas in your mind
Speaker 1: about yourself. You know, shit like I'm not good at
Speaker 1: talking to people, or I'm not good at this, or
Speaker 1: or even I am good at this and whatnot. And
Speaker 1: then like your reality and your schemas of yourself or no,
Speaker 1: those schemas they blind you from reality. So because you've
Speaker 1: built up in your head, perhaps over the course of
Speaker 1: several years, this idea of who you are and how
Speaker 1: you act your your it like blinds you to any
Speaker 1: kind of reality that people who are just meeting you
Speaker 1: for the first time, they don't see you through the
Speaker 1: lens of the ideas that you've built up about yourself,
Speaker 1: and so they don't look at you and go, this
Speaker 1: person hasn't it not to talk? You know, they see
Speaker 1: you for, in a sense, what you are. And so
Speaker 1: the process of getting you to see yourself as what
Speaker 1: you are is a law. It becomes a long and
Speaker 1: arduous one because you're unraveling years and years and years
Speaker 1: of ideas that you've built up about yourself. We're obviously
Speaker 1: not gonna be able to do that over the course
Speaker 1: of this call. Because I am a real therapist I'm
Speaker 1: a guy in a gecko costume and be you know,
Speaker 1: it sounds like you spent many years, you know, building
Speaker 1: up this this image of yourself, And so I think
Speaker 1: that the goal then becomes, how do we remove this
Speaker 1: negative image you have of yourself and then replace it
Speaker 1: with a more positive one. And I don't know, that's
Speaker 1: probably some of the ship that they teach you in
Speaker 1: that school where they like, you know, teach you shit
Speaker 1: about how that kind of be a real therapist. But
Speaker 1: I guess I would say, like if you can think, if, if, if,
Speaker 1: if there could be one central thought that you have
Speaker 1: that you know, hopefully you walk away from this from
Speaker 1: you walk away from this with, is that you, even
Speaker 1: though it's weird, even though you know yourself more intimately
Speaker 1: than anyone else does, you can't always trust your own
Speaker 1: image of yourself. So when you think of yourself as
Speaker 1: being unable to talk to people, or of being awkward,
Speaker 1: or of being any of these things, you can't trust
Speaker 1: those thoughts. And then when you do trust those thoughts,
Speaker 1: they also become like these self fulfilling prophecies. You think
Speaker 1: of yourself as these things, and then you become those things.
Speaker 1: But if you stopped at the beginning, and you didn't
Speaker 1: trust these thoughts that you had of yourself. Then you
Speaker 1: become this new thing, this blank slate that can be
Speaker 1: written in any way that you choose. So I don't know,
Speaker 1: think about think about that. I guess instead of buying
Speaker 1: this guy in Xbox by yourself, a goddamn xbox, you
Speaker 1: deserve it. And you know, another thing is like, can
Speaker 1: I tell you just one one more thing? Even if
Speaker 1: this is something I've talked about in this podcast a lot,
Speaker 1: I haven't talked I haven't been streaming for uh many
Speaker 1: times for many weeks, so I've forgotten about all this shit.
Speaker 1: But see, the thing is is that when it comes
Speaker 1: to matters like these, even if you could successfully purchase
Speaker 1: via ataris wait, he says he likes retro stuff. Via
Speaker 1: ataris this man's affection, it would be worthless to you.
Speaker 1: In fact, everyone's validation of you, good or bad, by
Speaker 1: the way, is a worthless thing, because it's it's they're
Speaker 1: the They're un there. They're in the in.
Speaker 5: The building of the foundation of your image of yourself,
Speaker 5: other people's ideas of you.
Speaker 1: They're bricks made out of sand. They they work for
Speaker 1: a little bit, but they're ultimately unsustainable to building a
Speaker 1: solid foundation, whether they're good or bad, So don't trust
Speaker 1: them and try to, you know, build something from within.
Speaker 1: What do you think about all of that? What's your
Speaker 1: name again? Mass? What do you think about all that? Mass?
Speaker 4: It is definitely arguous, a long path, and.
Speaker 3: Sometimes I resort to the easier way of, oh, I
Speaker 3: just take myself. I don't deserve a chance to love myself,
Speaker 3: but it is definitely worth building a clean slate for
Speaker 3: myself and getting value through me instead of other people,
Speaker 3: especially through externals.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, yeah. Yeah. And if I don't, don't beat
Speaker 1: yourself up for you know, this whole buying, this whole whatever,
Speaker 1: because what I don't, what I don't want you to do,
Speaker 1: is be like, oh, I'm a fucking you know, loser.
Speaker 1: I spent all this money about it, because you're not
Speaker 1: gonna get anywhere doing that, you know, don't, don't. Don't.
Speaker 1: The process of doing all this ship that we just
Speaker 1: talked about is one that a lot of people are
Speaker 1: going through and they make a lot of mistakes. So,
Speaker 1: you know, don't beat yourself up for any mistakes you
Speaker 1: make along the way, including buying some guy an xbox, Moss,
Speaker 1: is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 1: people the computer before you go? Uh?
Speaker 3: Well, I hope you had a good time in Japan,
Speaker 3: and uh I did all you people out there? I
Speaker 3: guess if you're gonna buy some dude to PlayStation, buy
Speaker 3: yourself a PlayStation, buy.
Speaker 1: Yourself a PlayStation. I like that. This episode is sponsored
Speaker 1: by UH buy Nothing. Thank you for calling Moss, Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you for your time. Hello, Hi, Hi, how are
Speaker 1: you doing doing all right? How are you.
Speaker 7: Doing all right?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 7: Not really?
Speaker 1: But why why?
Speaker 3: Not?
Speaker 1: Really?
Speaker 7: So it's not like I just figured this out, but
Speaker 7: for my whole life, I've figured out that I've been
Speaker 7: extremely hateful.
Speaker 3: What do you like?
Speaker 7: I'm sorry? Good?
Speaker 1: No, no, you please go ahead give me the top
Speaker 1: line of of why you feel like you are you
Speaker 1: are hateful?
Speaker 7: Well, I can give you a good example for today.
Speaker 7: I came home. Something else happened that I you know,
Speaker 7: I'll probably go into but I came home. My mom
Speaker 7: asked me out of my parents are twenty six? Uh
Speaker 7: mom asked me, hey, you know, do you want any dinner?
Speaker 7: And I appreci needed to basically tell her that I don't.
Speaker 7: I don't want anything and just sort of of fuck off.
Speaker 1: Okay, so your mom, you came home, your mom asked
Speaker 1: you if you want any food, and then you told
Speaker 1: her to fuck off? Oh yeah, okay, yeah, okay, So
Speaker 1: in that moment, what do you feel like was compelling
Speaker 1: your anger? Because I mean, this is like maybe cliche shit,
Speaker 1: but I think we both know that in that moment,
Speaker 1: you are not actually upset at your mom, but like
Speaker 1: you're upset something else and you have this like opportunity
Speaker 1: to unleash the anger. It's like you're taking your shit
Speaker 1: and you're not going to hold it in, and you
Speaker 1: finally let it out and you diarrhea on your mom.
Speaker 1: Why do you what made you want to diarrhea on
Speaker 1: your mom?
Speaker 7: Basically come to the realization that just a piece of shit.
Speaker 7: Now i'd say that because well you know that was
Speaker 7: a good reason, but that it was not the first
Speaker 7: time Okay, it happened for the past in six seven years.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well before you just say you're a piece of shit,
Speaker 1: I mean it's not with you know, I just want
Speaker 1: you to recognize that, however true or false, you may
Speaker 1: feel like that is it. It is unhelpful information, Some
Speaker 1: unhelpful declaration because we can't go anywhere from it. You're
Speaker 1: a piece of shit, okay, now what You're just a
Speaker 1: piece of shit forever and ever. There's no way for
Speaker 1: you to, you know, start living your life better or
Speaker 1: anything like that. So you know, let's not throw ourselves
Speaker 1: into a dead end by just saying you're a piece
Speaker 1: of ship. So tell me, and we don't. We're not
Speaker 1: going to get into all seven years of this right now,
Speaker 1: but tell me just today, in that moment when you
Speaker 1: were yelling at your mom, what was compelling you to
Speaker 1: do that?
Speaker 7: So I've been in this relationship with this girl for
Speaker 7: really long, and within that time and before it, I
Speaker 7: used to be even worse and I will manage to
Speaker 7: work myself to be better. But I was doing it
Speaker 7: everywhere else except for in the relationship, okay, and then
Speaker 7: today I in a ten minute phone call, I managed
Speaker 7: to completely just destroy it and end it. And that,
Speaker 7: you know, it is probably why I had diarrhea on
Speaker 7: my mom.
Speaker 1: So you were taking out anger from that relationship ending
Speaker 1: on your mom. Yes, okay, let me ask you a
Speaker 1: quick question. Have you been to real therapy to talk
Speaker 1: about this?
Speaker 7: I have so back back in elementary I used to
Speaker 7: bully people so hard that they forced me to go
Speaker 7: into therapy.
Speaker 1: Okay, and this was back in elementary school. Is this
Speaker 1: I mean, you're what twenty six now, I'm twenty six now, yeah, okay?
Speaker 1: And are you in therapy as an adult?
Speaker 7: As an adult now?
Speaker 1: Okay? Have you ever been in a situation where you've
Speaker 1: talked to a real therapist about this issue?
Speaker 7: M this specific issue? Now?
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you this because I've
Speaker 1: been thinking about this and I've been try to be
Speaker 1: more respond responsible. I I'm definitely down to talk to
Speaker 1: you about this issue. I don't know what's up, but
Speaker 1: you should go to a real therapist to talk about
Speaker 1: this after we talk, because it sounds like you might
Speaker 1: have and I'm not gonna I don't know. I'm a
Speaker 1: guy in a costume on the internet, but you might
Speaker 1: have some you know, genuine personality disorder. If this has
Speaker 1: been a thing that's been persisting, I'm not the guy
Speaker 1: who's gonna be able to tell you that definitively, so
Speaker 1: I think you should figure that out. But okay, that aside,
Speaker 1: So he said this has been a thing for the
Speaker 1: past seven years.
Speaker 7: Yes, it's it's it's scaled up in the past seven years,
Speaker 7: not like super extreme, but noticeably.
Speaker 1: Okay, you told me just now you were like this.
Speaker 1: You said this was something you've been working on and
Speaker 1: that you were able to kind of improve it in
Speaker 1: every aspect of your life except for in your relationship.
Speaker 1: Is that what you said? Okay, yeah, tell me what
Speaker 1: that improvement looked like.
Speaker 7: Uh, the improvement looked like going into work, creating a
Speaker 7: good relationship with everybody there. Uh. You know, when I
Speaker 7: make a mistake at work, I wasn't you know, getting
Speaker 7: mad at myself and you know, basically getting angry in
Speaker 7: the corner. I was able to, like normal citizens around
Speaker 7: where I live. I was able to establish good relationships
Speaker 7: with them, you know, even in driving, like people you know,
Speaker 7: tending to get real bridge a lot, and I had
Speaker 7: completely cut that out. What else.
Speaker 4: I mean?
Speaker 7: Meanly, all I can say is just the interactions I
Speaker 7: have with other people have improved. Would I say that
Speaker 7: it improved in my home? Maybe for a couple of years.
Speaker 1: Okay, So if you get granular with me for a second,
Speaker 1: you say that the relationships you have with other people
Speaker 1: just strangers, not necessarily people. You have intimate relationships with
Speaker 1: like like people you have romantic relationships with, or your
Speaker 1: family or your friends, but just like starting with folks
Speaker 1: you encounter around town and you say the relationships have
Speaker 1: gotten better, Like, can I get like specific details of
Speaker 1: ways in which you feel like they've gotten better?
Speaker 7: Okay, So there was a guy down the block for
Speaker 7: me and I used to hang out with this this
Speaker 7: I don't know what you want to call him a hooligan, okay,
Speaker 7: you know he was affiliated with people. And I was
Speaker 7: on my large dirt bike riding around town on the street.
Speaker 7: Now I didn't have a license play on or anything.
Speaker 7: And my folgan friend was on a small mop head
Speaker 7: and the guy down the street came over to my
Speaker 7: house because he saw us riding and was basically yelling
Speaker 7: at my dad because of what he was writing and
Speaker 7: not what I was writing. And we were basically able to,
Speaker 7: you know, calm him down and say, hey, you know,
Speaker 7: I'm sorry for doing that. You know, I know what's wrong.
Speaker 7: I don't have a license for it. And then after
Speaker 7: after that, you know, I used to I would go
Speaker 7: over to his house and help him with like yard work,
Speaker 7: you help him fix his house, you know, my my
Speaker 7: parents would would make food for me to take over
Speaker 7: to them, and kind of didn't. It kind of went
Speaker 7: from I mean even before that, you know, we were
Speaker 7: we're reckless around town, and even before that, uh, it
Speaker 7: wasn't Okay, you.
Speaker 1: Do you still have Do you still hang out with
Speaker 1: this uh as you describe him hooligan friend?
Speaker 7: No, he is in jail.
Speaker 1: Okay, See what's your name, Charles? What else does your
Speaker 1: life look like?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 1: What do you What do you do for work?
Speaker 4: So?
Speaker 7: What I do for work right now? Is I work
Speaker 7: as a machinist at a yacht a fishing yacht manufacturer.
Speaker 1: Okay? Are you happy doing that? Mm?
Speaker 7: It's it's easy work because I know it, but it's
Speaker 7: not paying me very nicely.
Speaker 1: Do you have an idea, even it's hard to get
Speaker 1: the full picture, but an idea of what you think
Speaker 1: would make you feel more fulfilled or happy in life?
Speaker 7: I think I got to put myself in a situation
Speaker 7: where I have to only depend on myself and not
Speaker 7: come home to two people that are ready to basically
Speaker 7: serve me.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 7: And I would also like to make more money.
Speaker 1: Okay, do you make enough money now for you to
Speaker 1: move out of your parents house.
Speaker 7: No I don't, okay, which is crazy because I get
Speaker 7: paid good hourly.
Speaker 1: Yeah are they now? Is the job not giving you
Speaker 1: enough hours? Or no, you're not making enough mon name
Speaker 1: of any parents.
Speaker 7: So I went in at like I moderately low pay.
Speaker 7: They do like one dollar to two dollar raises if
Speaker 7: you're really lucky once a year, and then after five
Speaker 7: years you have to wait three years to get a
Speaker 7: one dollar raise. So I went. I went from I
Speaker 7: don't mind talking about money. I went from eighteen fifty
Speaker 7: three years later, I'm now at twenty four dollars. So
Speaker 7: I've gotten larger raises, but in two more years, I'm
Speaker 7: still not going to be able to buy a house
Speaker 7: or even afford a nice car.
Speaker 1: Okay, what about moving out and getting like you know,
Speaker 1: into a spot with like three other dudes in a
Speaker 1: house as a roommate. Do you have enough to afford that?
Speaker 7: I would have enough to afford that. I just don't
Speaker 7: know any people who are in the position to move
Speaker 7: out being single.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, I mean I don't know. Man. I got
Speaker 1: a couple of thoughts about this. Uh and again this
Speaker 1: is you know, I still think that if if you're
Speaker 1: what you're experiencing does seem like it's it's a serious
Speaker 1: issue that's been persistent and you should totally go and
Speaker 1: get a professional's opinion on this. But I mean, if
Speaker 1: you're not happy with your life and everyone and everyone
Speaker 1: has like you know, everyone has aspects of their life
Speaker 1: even if things are going great, or like you know,
Speaker 1: days where they get upset and angry and like you know,
Speaker 1: maybe lose control over their anger and whatnot. But if
Speaker 1: on a top line, you're not happy with what's going
Speaker 1: on with you, you know, you're just gonna be pissed off
Speaker 1: all the time, and that's gonna, you know, give you
Speaker 1: that diarrhea that you then you know, give to your mother.
Speaker 1: And so I think, you know what I what's giving
Speaker 1: me hope about you from you know, the ten minutes
Speaker 1: I've been talking to you, is that you seem very calm,
Speaker 1: You seem very collected, you seem very to the point
Speaker 1: about this is my issue. I know it is an issue.
Speaker 1: Here's my vague ideas of how I'm going to fix
Speaker 1: this issue. And that's a good place to start. Tell
Speaker 1: me about your girlfriend. You just broke up with her?
Speaker 7: Uh yeah, well we've been broken up for probably the
Speaker 7: past two and a half months, consistently before that, like two.
Speaker 1: Or three times, okay, because I feel like, and again
Speaker 1: I don't want to tell you what to do with
Speaker 1: your life, but I feel like if you have this
Speaker 1: persistent anger issue that caused you to lash out at people,
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be fair to her to keep being in
Speaker 1: a relationship with her until you really, honestly feel like
Speaker 1: you've resolved that problem.
Speaker 7: Right now, I agree with you, but I just don't.
Speaker 7: I just I think it's just too far gone right now?
Speaker 1: What do you mean by too far gone?
Speaker 7: Hmmm, Like so many things have happened that have been
Speaker 7: my fault that there's just there's no chance that any
Speaker 7: sane person in their mind would ever think about, oh well,
Speaker 7: this won't happen again.
Speaker 1: So okay, okay, you know what. I think it's good
Speaker 1: that you know that. I think you might have to
Speaker 1: just accept that. And I don't think it is the
Speaker 1: crushing end of the world, because if you're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I did things in this relationship where nobody in the
Speaker 1: right mind would forgive me afterwards or feel as though
Speaker 1: this would not change, I think it's good for you
Speaker 1: to now have this singular focused mindset towards Okay, I
Speaker 1: can't be in a relationship right now. I just need
Speaker 1: to focus one hundred percent on doing the things I
Speaker 1: need to do to fix this about myself, because I
Speaker 1: can't sustainably live life being the way that I'm being.
Speaker 1: And you can do that by going to therapy, identifying
Speaker 1: the things in your life that you have the ability
Speaker 1: to change that can make it better so you're not
Speaker 1: miserable all the time and taking that misery out on
Speaker 1: other people. And I understand that you're seem as though
Speaker 1: you're you're kind of mourning the loss of this relationship,
Speaker 1: but look, if you truly love this person, I think
Speaker 1: you'll understand that it's not fair for her to be
Speaker 1: dealing with you before you've even dealt with yourself, and
Speaker 1: so you'd be you'd be smart to let that go
Speaker 1: and just focus one hundred on figuring out your shit,
Speaker 1: which again from I don't I don't know you and
Speaker 1: I don't you know, but about from the way that
Speaker 1: you've presented yourself to us on the phone, it seems
Speaker 1: like you have a good foundation of awareness of what
Speaker 1: you're fucking up on to begin down that journey of
Speaker 1: fixing it. That's that's what I get off of what
Speaker 1: you've told me.
Speaker 7: Oh and actually I remember I have been to therapy
Speaker 7: recently as quote unquote adult. It depends on what you
Speaker 7: think as adult. I was like seventeen, I got caught
Speaker 7: what we I got caught with a smoking a weed
Speaker 7: from my buddies, and the school made me go to
Speaker 7: therapy for, you know, to get off of weed. And
Speaker 7: in those therapy sessions, he put he said exactly what
Speaker 7: you what you were saying right now, you know how
Speaker 7: you know you're saying, how you were, how I carry
Speaker 7: myself and how I presented myself over the phone. And
Speaker 7: that only lasted ship maybe three weeks.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 7: At that point, I was I was at an okay
Speaker 7: point in my life.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 7: But then the very next well the next four months
Speaker 7: after that, I had gotten arrested for some serious first
Speaker 7: group feildings.
Speaker 1: Okay, tell them before we just before we go, Charles,
Speaker 1: do you have an idea of what your next step
Speaker 1: is going to be after this too? Like, what what's
Speaker 1: your next step on the path of dealing with this?
Speaker 7: I guess I'm just going to focus on my career. Uh,
Speaker 7: maybe a career change. I did go in today and
Speaker 7: ask if they had other opportunities elsewhere. I asked for
Speaker 7: a cudo training. Uh. They were of has shown the
Speaker 7: idea and said that they would make an offer to
Speaker 7: me to stay in the machine shop. So I will
Speaker 7: see what happens with that. Other than that, I don't
Speaker 7: really I don't really know. I kind of just kind
Speaker 7: of just you know, I don't really believe in myself.
Speaker 1: M hm m hm. This is Charles. I'm gonna say.
Speaker 1: I think you should. I think you should consider going
Speaker 1: back to real therapy. I think they would be able
Speaker 1: to help you with this. I've said it already, which
Speaker 1: is that I think you have a self awareness of
Speaker 1: this issue enough that I do believe that from from
Speaker 1: what I understand of you, I believe in your ability
Speaker 1: to go from that foundation of awareness to making steps
Speaker 1: to fix your problems. I hope that's worth something. Is
Speaker 1: there anything else before we go that you want to
Speaker 1: say or to the people of the computer or to me,
Speaker 1: or about any of this.
Speaker 7: Uh, what you do is really cool.
Speaker 1: Thanks man.
Speaker 7: Yeah wish I wish I could do the same, But yeah.
Speaker 1: You'll find your thing. Man, You're still very young, and
Speaker 1: I still feel as though you know you're sitting on
Speaker 1: a good foundation to be better in the future. Right,
Speaker 1: I'll talk to you soon, Charles, Thank you man. All right, man,
Speaker 1: I really started this just like a fucking screwing around
Speaker 1: and a Gecko costume on Reddit, and now I like,
Speaker 1: really am sitting here pretending to be a therapist. I
Speaker 1: just noticed that at the end of that twenty minutes,
Speaker 1: I was like, damn, I really like out here pretending
Speaker 1: to be a therapist and getting into it. I enjoyed
Speaker 1: having that conversation with Charles, and I did want to
Speaker 1: help him in that moment. That was a tough thing
Speaker 1: because the whole I remember what I said at the
Speaker 1: very beginning, where he was like, I'm an asshole, and
Speaker 1: it's like I don't like that. However, however true it
Speaker 1: is of something like that. It's like, well, how do
Speaker 1: we optimize something for a person to get better and
Speaker 1: be a productive member of society for themselves? And I
Speaker 1: think to forego the labeling and just go listen. Can't
Speaker 1: change the past, but can work towards something more productive
Speaker 1: for the future. I think pretty much everyone can do that,
Speaker 1: and I'm hoping that Charles finds his laying see here
Speaker 1: I am. I'm fucking around trying to say therapist shit
Speaker 1: in this gecko costume. I'm doing the best I can, Folks,
Speaker 1: I'm trying. Neverly goes on the line taking your phone
Speaker 1: calls every night.
Speaker 5: Never Deacon goes doing to ride.
Speaker 1: Who's teaching you aloud in your life?
Speaker 5: But he's not really an expert.