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Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, How are you?

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Speaker 2: Are you good? How are you?

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Speaker 1: I'm a gecko on the computer.

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Speaker 2: Life's crazy, Oh, I goes, that sounds very exciting.

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Speaker 1: What is what is your name?

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Speaker 2: My name Isla? So they still like be talking to.

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Speaker 1: You, Liila. It's very nice to be talking to you too.

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Speaker 1: Is there anything in particular that, uh you wanted to

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Speaker 1: to talk about here?

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Speaker 3: Well?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like I wanted to first share an experience of

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Speaker 2: mine that I had like a couple of years ago

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Speaker 2: when I was in high school. So my senior year,

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Speaker 2: my high school math teacher actually tried like breaking into

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Speaker 2: my home and like causing harm to me and stuff.

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Speaker 1: Your math teacher broke into your home?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like my algebra math teacher.

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Speaker 1: Uh how did that happen?

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Speaker 2: Well, like to start, like I took algebra my senior

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Speaker 2: year and this is like in twenty nineteen, so this

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Speaker 2: was a few years ago. And my actually my identical

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Speaker 2: twin sister and I both had him like as our teacher,

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Speaker 2: and he was like super normal.

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Speaker 1: Uh.

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Speaker 2: He was considered a young teacher, like in his early thirties,

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Speaker 2: I guess, and like he was like super cool, especially

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Speaker 2: for the seniors since we were all going to graduate

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Speaker 2: but I started personally noticing like his weird behavior probably

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Speaker 2: like a month before, like my twin and I turned eighteen,

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Speaker 2: Like no, why, Like there was a point basically where

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Speaker 2: like she was at his desk by getting her work

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Speaker 2: done or like getting it checked or something, and like

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Speaker 2: she walked away, and I like was watching him, and

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Speaker 2: like I swear on everything, like I saw him look

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Speaker 2: at like my sister's but like I saw him checking

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Speaker 2: her out.

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Speaker 1: Uh how did this escalate into him going to your house?

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Speaker 2: So yeah, so after my twin and I turned in eighteen,

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Speaker 2: we definitely like started noticing he was a little bit

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Speaker 2: more like hands on with us, which was just sort

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Speaker 2: of odd because like our birthdays in April, so like

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Speaker 2: the year ended in June, and by then, like we

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Speaker 2: basically were seniors, so like most of our work was done,

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Speaker 2: So it was sort of odd that he was giving

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Speaker 2: us like out of like the entire class and most attention.

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Speaker 2: And then it basically started the night of our senior prom.

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Speaker 2: He wasn't able to like chaperone, so he was like, oh, like,

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Speaker 2: you know, I want all of you guys to like

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Speaker 2: send me pictures like of like how you guys look,

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Speaker 2: you know, this being sort of like a normal teacher

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Speaker 2: towards the end of the year, so like he ing

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Speaker 2: out his number to like a bunch of students, including

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Speaker 2: my sister and I, and so I remember the night

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Speaker 2: of our senior prom, like my sister and I were like, okay,

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Speaker 2: like let's send like pictures to silence though, and so

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Speaker 2: then we did, and then like the odd thing was

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Speaker 2: like he sent like hard eyes back, like the hard

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Speaker 2: eye emojis. So I think that's sort of what we

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Speaker 2: were just like, eh, like this is sort of weird.

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Speaker 2: And so then weekend of our senior prom, like a

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Speaker 2: lot of us go down to like the Jersey Shore

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Speaker 2: for the weekend, and so the entire weekend, like he

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Speaker 2: was sort of like you know, checking in casually saying hey,

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Speaker 2: like you know, like hope you guys are like being safe,

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Speaker 2: because like he started knew that we were all like

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Speaker 2: obviously drinking and stuff, but he was just I don't know,

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Speaker 2: he was being sort of normal, but like almost like

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Speaker 2: crossing many boundaries.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well, how did he break into your house?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, Okay, So then continuing on, like we just

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Speaker 2: kept like noticing really like shange behavior. He's being super

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Speaker 2: like inappropriate at times, like the nineteen sending pictures of

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Speaker 2: himself that were completely inappropriate. Also, yeah, so we after

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Speaker 2: we got back from our senior prom, like, he bought

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Speaker 2: breakfast for like the entire class, and so then after

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Speaker 2: we ate, like my twin and I ate at breakfast,

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Speaker 2: he got us. We actually ended up getting really sick,

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Speaker 2: and we later came to find out that he actually

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Speaker 2: drugged us as well.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, Yeah, what were do you, like, were

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Speaker 1: you like at his house.

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Speaker 2: No, So, like he brought brexis in like to the

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Speaker 2: school like four hours class specifically because we had came

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Speaker 2: back from like our senior like week and away. So

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Speaker 2: it was just like a nice gesture he was trying

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Speaker 2: to do. But like my sister and I don't eat

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Speaker 2: thee for pork, and he bought like pork bacon like

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Speaker 2: egg and cheeses for like most people, So he specifically

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Speaker 2: gave my sister and I like a different meal because

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Speaker 2: we don't eat that. So we thought it was like

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Speaker 2: super nice of him, but then like you later found

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Speaker 2: out like we were drugs because we got like really

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Speaker 2: insanely sick, both of us, like for the rest of

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Speaker 2: the day, like we were like vomiting, So like.

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Speaker 1: Is it well, I'll I mean, I guess I'll let

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Speaker 1: you finish. But is this guy in jail now or something?

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Speaker 2: As of right now, he's not in jail. He did

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Speaker 2: get five years probation and I got like a lifelonger

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Speaker 2: straining order against him, and so did my sister as well.

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Speaker 1: Okay, fire sick? Uh what this was? How long ago

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Speaker 1: was this?

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Speaker 2: So this is in twenty nineteen, so I was like,

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Speaker 2: what twenty like about three years ago.

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Speaker 1: So he's not in jail, but he's like on probation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he ended up giving five years probation just because

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Speaker 2: like the prosecutor is also wanted to like spare my

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Speaker 2: sister and are like the trials because we didn't really

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Speaker 2: feel comfortable like sharing this story in front of like

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Speaker 2: you know, our family and friends and peers and stuff.

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Speaker 2: So he just like pled guilty and like that's like

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Speaker 2: the deal that like we got basically.

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Speaker 1: So I mean, let me ask you this. You sound

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Speaker 1: I don't know what I mean. You sound very like

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Speaker 1: comfortable tone in this story. Now, like how is your

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Speaker 1: and I mean I don't know if you are, I

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Speaker 1: don't I don't really know how you actually feel I mean,

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Speaker 1: how is your kind of perspective and relationship with this situation,

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Speaker 1: you know, evolved over the past few years.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I definitely think I've like matured since then and like,

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Speaker 2: you know, gotten to the point where I definitely feel

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Speaker 2: more comfortable sharing my story. I think in the beginning

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Speaker 2: I was super defensive and like honestly like just didn't

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Speaker 2: want to talk about it, just completely wanted to ignore

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Speaker 2: it because I was honestly just so embarrassed and like confused.

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Speaker 2: But it's like now that I recognize that like I

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Speaker 2: was groomed, that I was taken advantage of by someone

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Speaker 2: who was supposed to protect me. Like, I feel like

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Speaker 2: I honestly am okay with like telling my story, just

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Speaker 2: because it brings awareness to people who like could possibly

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Speaker 2: in you know, bringing situations like I what unfortunately was.

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Speaker 2: So I think I definitely come to terms and you know,

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Speaker 2: like healed from this.

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Speaker 1: And what about your sister, I think.

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Speaker 2: She like the same probably goes for her as well.

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Speaker 2: I think she's definitely less talkative about it because I

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Speaker 2: did tell her like that I was possibly going to

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Speaker 2: like call in and like share this, and she was

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Speaker 2: just like, you know, I support you, but I won't

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Speaker 2: want nothing to do.

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Speaker 1: With it basically. Okay, Yeah, Like did did you like,

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Speaker 1: was this something you like talked about a lot in

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Speaker 1: therapy or like had to kind of like what was

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Speaker 1: your way of like I guess, uh uh sort of

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Speaker 1: sort of dealing with this.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So I did end up actually seeing a therapist

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Speaker 2: for like quite some time after like the whole situation,

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Speaker 2: and I like doro that I was like actually able

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Speaker 2: to like you know, really trying to take it to

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Speaker 2: court and whatnot. Because after I graduated, COVID shortly happened afterwards,

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Speaker 2: so like everything got really delayed life, Like I was,

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Speaker 2: I actually had the time to heal before having to

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Speaker 2: like legally deal with everything.

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Speaker 1: Mm hm.

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Speaker 2: So I definitely do think I had like time to like,

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Speaker 2: you know, cope with what sort of happened.

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Speaker 1: Was there a you said there was no trial and

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Speaker 1: he just kind of like pleaded guilty immediately?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he just pleaded guilty because like my sister and

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Speaker 2: I like didn't really feel comfortable with going to a trial,

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Speaker 2: and so like with the prosecutors, like I'm born to

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Speaker 2: lawyers of that son, he sort of, I guess like

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Speaker 2: jumped in a chance and said Hey, we'll sweet guilty

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Speaker 2: for like you know, less of sentence.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmmm mm hmm. So what is your life like now?

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Speaker 1: Are you in in college? Are you working?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm currently in college. I'm currently working as well.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so it's pretty good.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, it's it's really like I think I've definitely grown

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Speaker 2: and like completely changed since like that night. Oh I

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Speaker 2: didn't even tell you about how he tried to break in?

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Speaker 1: How did he try to break in?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so it was like a night of our senior

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Speaker 2: barbecue and like my sister and I like had went

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Speaker 2: out with like our friends like after like a night

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Speaker 2: of our senior barbecue, which he knew we would be

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Speaker 2: at the school for, and so we went up to

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Speaker 2: play this diner and then we get I'm getting weird

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Speaker 2: quick calls from him like constantly, but at this point

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Speaker 2: we're just ignoring him, like we're just trying to graduate.

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Speaker 2: And then we planned on like reporting everything because we

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Speaker 2: only were graduating in like two days. And so then

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Speaker 2: suddenly like we get a call from like our mom,

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Speaker 2: and my mom's just like, hey, like, are you guys

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Speaker 2: like downstairs? And at the time, like living in my

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Speaker 2: home was just like my mom, like my younger sister

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Speaker 2: and then my twin and I. But my twin and

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Speaker 2: I were out and so we were like no, like

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Speaker 2: we're at the diner or whatever, and she was just like, well,

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Speaker 2: like someone's trying to like like get inside the house.

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Speaker 2: And like Miko, which is like our dog at the time,

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Speaker 2: was like going crazy, like he keeps barkating growing, which

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Speaker 2: like never does and immediately like my guts these jobs,

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Speaker 2: Like I knailed it was him, Like he had to

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Speaker 2: like be trying to break into my home because like

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Speaker 2: he has made for us before like prior, and so

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Speaker 2: like we medi like a rush me like to like

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Speaker 2: my house. Like I'm trying to my mom like you know,

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Speaker 2: like lock the doors, like call the police to sound

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Speaker 2: the third and like she's generally confuted at this point

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Speaker 2: because like we haven't told like our family for anything.

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Speaker 2: And so then I finally get on the phone with

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Speaker 2: him and he's like just sounds super intoxicated. He's just

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Speaker 2: like I don't know why he won't talk to me,

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Speaker 2: Like I didn't have to come to this, and like

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Speaker 2: he's literally a beenning to like being outside of my

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Speaker 2: homes and whatnot. He's like describing my house like to me,

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Speaker 2: like Walt on the phone in the entire time, I'm

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Speaker 2: literally just like screaming like you know, like get the

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Speaker 2: fuck away from my house, like it's not okay. And

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Speaker 2: he got like my address obviously from being like you

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Speaker 2: know my teacher. Oh my god, you have a lot

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Speaker 2: of my personal information. Yeah, and then please tell me that.

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Speaker 1: Damn. So so he's so he's on probate, like is

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Speaker 1: he not? So he's just like he's like at his

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Speaker 1: house right now, like he's not.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, I see.

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Speaker 1: Damn. I would assume there would be like pretty crazy

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Speaker 1: criminal charges for that.

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Speaker 2: No, yeah, absolutely, Like I would assume that as well.

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Speaker 2: I just think it was just because it was like

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Speaker 2: during COVID that like we felt so rushed almost to

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Speaker 2: get it over with and like no longer delay that

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Speaker 2: he just got up so easy.

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Speaker 1: In my opinion, how did does is that something that

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Speaker 1: like still upsets you or do you do you feel

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Speaker 1: like you're you're kind of you you've moved on.

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Speaker 4: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I think overall like I've definitely moved on, But do

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Speaker 2: you think there are just stays where I'm feeling so

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Speaker 2: like mentally good and stuff and I'm like, damn, like

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Speaker 2: I could have actually probably faced him in court if

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Speaker 2: like I would have been like as muchure as I

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Speaker 2: am now like.

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Speaker 1: At that time, right right, Well, I'm glad to hear

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Speaker 1: that you you feel like you're you're doing well and

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Speaker 1: that you're comfortable enough to talk about that. I mean,

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Speaker 1: this is a totally fucked up story.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it was totally fucked up. Definitely, absolutely, I

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Speaker 2: completely agree.

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Speaker 1: How does your sister what's what's like? What's her deal now?

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Speaker 1: Is she also in school and doing well?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she's doing great. She's in like a fantastic committed relationship,

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Speaker 2: and she's suit the same guy that she was with

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Speaker 2: when this is happening. And like the teacher that we're

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Speaker 2: talking about pete another student to slash her boyfriend's tires

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Speaker 2: for seven hundred dollars.

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Speaker 1: He paid somebody to slash her boyfriend's tires.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he paid another student.

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Speaker 1: That's crazy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah he didn't he was a gemini too, and like

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Speaker 2: ULTI mentally also, I don't know, he's definitely crazy.

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Speaker 1: What was what was this guy?

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Speaker 3: Like?

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Speaker 1: What did he teach?

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Speaker 4: So?

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Speaker 2: He talked algebra two? Like I said, like in the beginning,

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Speaker 2: like he seems like a normal, like you know, chill

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Speaker 2: younger teacher, you know in high school. Like this was

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Speaker 2: like younger teachers who try to like almost fit in

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Speaker 2: with the gudents.

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Speaker 4: Like he wasn't too much of.

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Speaker 2: That, but he also wasn't like super hard on us.

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Speaker 1: Uh huh.

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Speaker 2: Like he was definitely like a like a very relaxed

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Speaker 2: teacher I can say, and definitely across the line of

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Speaker 2: probably like appropriateness multiple times. But yeah, he taught algebra.

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Speaker 1: And like I guess in just like on a day

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Speaker 1: to day basis in class, like he just were there

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Speaker 1: was there anything like, well, I guess you already said

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Speaker 1: all the things I was gonna ask, like anything that

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Speaker 1: kind of tipped you off preemptively that he might be

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Speaker 1: uh you know, a fucking you know, doing weird shit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, honestly, I definitely think there were like multiple things

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Speaker 2: Like perfect example, I really stuck at math, and like

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Speaker 2: I think towards closer when I started like closer when

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Speaker 2: I was training eighteen, I started noticing like my grade

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Speaker 2: picking up randomly, and I was just like, oh, like

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Speaker 2: that's weird, Like I don't think I got to like

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Speaker 2: that test questions right and stuff and like my answers

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Speaker 2: would be changed, like he essentially we later found out,

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Speaker 2: was like changing my grades like for the better. Actually,

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Speaker 2: so I guess like that was like something I could have. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I really I don't know in this guy's mind, like

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Speaker 1: what like how he thought this would all go down?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I have no idea, to be honest with you,

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Speaker 2: like I think he is very delusional, uh huh, like

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Speaker 2: being very confident who was gonna get caught.

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Speaker 1: How did you feel like family react to all of this?

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Speaker 2: How did my family? So, Like my twin and I

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Speaker 2: are actually like the youngest of like a lot of girls,

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Speaker 2: like we have five sisters and all, so I feel

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Speaker 2: like when our older sisters found out, they were just

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Speaker 2: more so like, you know, in suprotective mode, like that

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Speaker 2: we're gonna find this guy, like we're gonna help you

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Speaker 2: do this and stuff like that. And so with my

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Speaker 2: mom and I think my parents were super like, you know,

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Speaker 2: we're gonna help you guys through this, like super supportive.

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Speaker 2: But at the time, like we really were just in

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Speaker 2: a place where we just wanted to ignore it and

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Speaker 2: pretend it didn't happen, Like we were still very much traumatized.

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Speaker 2: So I don't think we were appreciative of it like

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Speaker 2: as we are now like back then. So they definitely

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Speaker 2: were like you know, typical family, like trying to like

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Speaker 2: protect and you know, defend us.

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Speaker 1: Well, Leila, well listen, I'm glad it sounds like you're,

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Speaker 1: i mean, all this crazy shit, you know, withstanding, it

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Speaker 1: sounds like you're you're living life in good spirits. And

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Speaker 1: I'm happy to hear that you sound like you have

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Speaker 1: a you know, a good uh I guess as as

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Speaker 1: good of an attitude as you can about this whole thing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I like to think, so thank you for recognizing that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure. I mean that's a tough thing to

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Speaker 1: do in the face of such a you know, crazy,

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Speaker 1: crazy situation. It's it's yeah, it's good to hear that

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Speaker 1: you and your sister are are you know, living living

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Speaker 1: good lives regardless, And yeah, I don't know. Is there

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Speaker 1: any other kind of aspect of this or anything else

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Speaker 1: that you you you want to say about it or

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Speaker 1: say to the people of the computer before we go.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think first I will say, like if a

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Speaker 2: teacher or someone that you trust that older doing extra attention,

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Speaker 2: sometimes it's not good attention and it's hard to definitely

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Speaker 2: recognize when you're being groomed, but definitely try to be

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00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,919
Speaker 2: on the lookout. Also, gak like I don't know who's

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Speaker 2: like picking the music for like the whole waiting room.

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Speaker 2: Nothing against it, but it was a little triggering. It

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Speaker 2: was super intense. You should probably ask me to like

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Speaker 2: low vibrational tunes.

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Speaker 1: You know, people, people listen people. People have told me

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Speaker 1: about the hold music for a while. And here's the thing,

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Speaker 1: I just I don't. I don't know how to change it.

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Speaker 1: I have no idea. I've I've looked at the settings page,

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Speaker 1: I've tried clicking and dragging things, or I have no

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Speaker 1: idea to I have no idea to change it. So

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm just I embraced that which I cannot change, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I can I can.

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Speaker 2: See why I can understand that, but I completely agree.

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Speaker 1: Well, thanks for sharing, Leila. Hope you just to continue

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Speaker 1: to do well and have a good night. Man.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me. Have a great night.

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Speaker 1: You two take care.

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Speaker 2: Heybye.

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Speaker 1: I don't I don't know if I have any post

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Speaker 1: call thoughts to that one. It was pretty crazy. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I I kind of said what I wanted to say.

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Speaker 1: It sounded like she had a good attitude towards it.

348
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Speaker 1: It's nice that she feels comfortable talking about it. I'm

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Speaker 1: glad that she's made that development. Fucking we're very strange.

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Speaker 1: I guess that's I don't know anything about the legal

351
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Speaker 1: system because I'm a guy in a gecko costume. But

352
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Speaker 1: it's very strange that that guy's not in jail. She

353
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:48,840
Speaker 1: said he had five years probation. I'm also dumb and

354
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:50,600
Speaker 1: don't really even know what that means. Does that mean

355
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Speaker 1: that like he's like, is he just like chilling? Like

356
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Speaker 1: is he allowed to go to the park and shit? Like,

357
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:01,560
Speaker 1: what does that mean? Does he go to jail after

358
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Speaker 1: five years? I don't know. It's uh, that's weird to me.

359
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Speaker 1: But but anyway, I don't know. I get. All that

360
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Speaker 1: matters is that Uhlilah uh is doing good?

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Speaker 5: Now?

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00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:25,760
Speaker 1: Hello, le Hi, how's it going? It's going good. What's

363
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,879
Speaker 1: going on with you? Not much?

364
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:30,480
Speaker 6: Just just hanging.

365
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:37,160
Speaker 1: Out, Sean. It says here that, uh, there's a girl

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Speaker 1: at your work who makes out with dogs and you

367
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Speaker 1: and it makes you uncomfortable.

368
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Speaker 6: Very Yeah, it makes everybody uncomfortable pretty much.

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Speaker 1: All right, Tell me about that. Tell me about that.

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Speaker 6: Oh yeah, So we'll have like a little functions, like

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Speaker 6: work functions, and we'll hang out and stuff, and some

372
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Speaker 6: of the guys whom work will bring their dogs, and uh,

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Speaker 6: you know, everyone likes dogs. But she like will play

374
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Speaker 6: with them and they'll lick her face and she'll like

375
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Speaker 6: let them lick in her mouth.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmmm.

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Speaker 6: And then she'll she'll like suck their tongues and like

378
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:29,280
Speaker 6: bite their tongues and they lips. Okay, well, I mean

379
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Speaker 6: they're dogs, you know, I guess, like, but like she

380
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,040
Speaker 6: kind of like sees into it and it's kind of weird,

381
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Speaker 6: you know.

382
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Speaker 3: What.

383
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:38,800
Speaker 1: And this is where do you work again?

384
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Speaker 6: I'm in like the military. But regardless, like all of

385
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,679
Speaker 6: the families and stuff will bring their dogs, and she

386
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:53,920
Speaker 6: just like any dogs, she'll like try and make.

387
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:54,359
Speaker 4: Out with, you know.

388
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:58,879
Speaker 1: Okay, And so she's like sucking on the dog tongue.

389
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Speaker 1: Is she like is she like licking the dogs? Is

390
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:04,640
Speaker 1: it just the dog mouths and she's just making out

391
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Speaker 1: with them. She's not like touching the dog's penises and stuff.

392
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Speaker 6: No, No, I mean that's that I hope not at

393
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:14,320
Speaker 6: least not.

394
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,520
Speaker 1: What I I hope not too. That's why I'm asking.

395
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Speaker 6: Yeah, it's disgusting. But there's this like one specific like

396
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,719
Speaker 6: story where like the dog kind of like freaked out

397
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:27,320
Speaker 6: about it and didn't like bite her anything. But like

398
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Speaker 6: I heard one of my other coworkers say that, like

399
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Speaker 6: they were like the dog was like traumatized almost like

400
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:39,719
Speaker 6: he like it was at his house and she was

401
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:44,520
Speaker 6: doing her thing with the dog, and the dog like

402
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 6: ran away and like was like having the zuomies pretty much.

403
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:52,919
Speaker 1: So she was she was making out with this dog,

404
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:55,679
Speaker 1: and then the dog got scared and ran away, and

405
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:56,959
Speaker 1: there was like dog trauma.

406
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Speaker 6: To me, that's what it sounded like.

407
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:04,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, I don't know. I have no fucking idea.

408
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,400
Speaker 1: I don't know anything about dog psychology or like what

409
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:12,600
Speaker 1: how dogs respond to you know, being Yeah, that's kissing.

410
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,480
Speaker 6: Yeah, it kind of makes me wonder like if dogs

411
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:20,320
Speaker 6: can speak, you know, like what would they like?

412
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,720
Speaker 1: Well, you know, it's interesting and I just I just

413
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:28,040
Speaker 1: realized this just now. Dogs don't even make out with

414
00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:32,080
Speaker 1: each other. Really. Animals don't really kiss each other on

415
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 1: the lips really like humans do, really do they?

416
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:37,159
Speaker 6: No, that's true, I don't think so.

417
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,320
Speaker 1: I've never seen that, so it's not a natural thing

418
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:45,080
Speaker 1: for them.

419
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Speaker 6: Right, and this and this girl is kind of feeding

420
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:49,320
Speaker 6: into like and feeding into that, you know, like dogs

421
00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:52,440
Speaker 6: like the licks because they like I think that's I

422
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,119
Speaker 6: don't know, I don't know why they lick. It's kind

423
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:59,959
Speaker 6: of weird, but it's it's another person looking or like

424
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:05,960
Speaker 6: sucking a dog's tongue that has been eating shit, you know, Yeah,

425
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:07,040
Speaker 6: like you don't know what they do.

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Speaker 1: Well, I mean you you could say that about making

427
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,159
Speaker 1: out with a person too, you know.

428
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:13,720
Speaker 2: That's that's true.

429
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 6: But I've never met her, like.

430
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,160
Speaker 1: If like if like, if you get a hand job

431
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,080
Speaker 1: from someone, you don't know where their hand has been,

432
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,120
Speaker 1: like I've, I've I've there's been plenty of times where

433
00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:27,879
Speaker 1: I've gotten like shit on my hand. Yeah, just throughout

434
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:30,359
Speaker 1: my life. I've never like gotten ship on my hand

435
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,320
Speaker 1: and then like touched another person with my shi hand.

436
00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:37,640
Speaker 1: But throughout the you know, however many years my hand

437
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:41,680
Speaker 1: has existed, there's been lots of shit on it. Right,

438
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:44,000
Speaker 1: And that's true. That's true about most That's probably true

439
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,000
Speaker 1: about a lot of people's hands. And yet you still like,

440
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:51,639
Speaker 1: you know, shake everyone shake people's hands and get hand jobs.

441
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:52,560
Speaker 1: And do all that stuff.

442
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:56,399
Speaker 6: Yeah, so here's here's the thing about that is you

443
00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 6: wash your hands, you know, dog do dog don't wash

444
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 6: their mouth.

445
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:01,000
Speaker 1: They don't.

446
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:03,840
Speaker 6: They don't like brush their own teeth, and they probably

447
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,720
Speaker 6: like have that bacteria growing inside their mouths for who

448
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:11,919
Speaker 6: knows how long before this girl comes along and starts

449
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:13,120
Speaker 6: sucking on their mouths.

450
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:16,679
Speaker 1: You know, you ever heard the thing where the dog's

451
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:18,560
Speaker 1: mouth is cleaner than the humans?

452
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:25,199
Speaker 6: That is what they say. Huh and thee though I

453
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 6: don't think it is, but I mean, what like dog

454
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 6: bread smells, you know.

455
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:35,119
Speaker 1: Uh, So, are you gonna do anything about this or

456
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:37,399
Speaker 1: are you just kind of you know, freaked out about it?

457
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 6: Kind of like brought it up to her. I was

458
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 6: like that it's kind of weird that you do that.

459
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:50,040
Speaker 6: And she like defends herself. She's like, I'm just being playful.

460
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 6: They like it and and it's fun. Like they they're

461
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:55,120
Speaker 6: they're they're just like they like it and they they're

462
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:56,680
Speaker 6: being plainful. And I'm like, you don't know if they

463
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 6: like it or not. It's weird, Like you're making me uncomfortable.

464
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 6: It's not even her dogs. You know, she doesn't even

465
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:02,800
Speaker 6: have dogs.

466
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:09,240
Speaker 1: How do you how did how did the owners look

467
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:12,240
Speaker 1: at her when when she's making out with their dogs?

468
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 6: Well, they they I don't know what they I don't

469
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:20,160
Speaker 6: think they tell her to stop. They don't like tell

470
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 6: her to stop or anything. But because she's, like I

471
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:26,879
Speaker 6: guess giving them like something to do, they're out of

472
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 6: their hair, you know, I guess. So if it was

473
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 6: my dog, I wouldn't let my dog around this person,

474
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:34,959
Speaker 6: to be honest.

475
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 1: So so you're telling me that you believe that from

476
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:42,480
Speaker 1: the owner's perspective, the owner is letting this girl make

477
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:47,920
Speaker 1: out with their dog because it gives their dog something

478
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,880
Speaker 1: to do, and then they don't have to watch their

479
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 1: dog because their dog is busy being made out with

480
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 1: by this woman.

481
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 6: Pretty much. I mean, I've I've talked to one of

482
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,479
Speaker 6: them about it, because he was the one that told

483
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:04,440
Speaker 6: me that story about his dog in the zoomis and

484
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:10,160
Speaker 6: he pretty much like let the dog like run away,

485
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:11,919
Speaker 6: and he like put it in the other room for

486
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:15,560
Speaker 6: a while, and he said that it was weird. But she, like,

487
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:19,159
Speaker 6: you know, she won't stop, like she don't think I

488
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,159
Speaker 6: think that dog like is afraid of her now, is

489
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:21,680
Speaker 6: what he said.

490
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:26,880
Speaker 1: Well, Sean, is there anything else you want to say

491
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 1: to other people of the computer before we go.

492
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:39,720
Speaker 6: Wash your hands, Uh, don't fuck other dogs' mouths, and

493
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:40,720
Speaker 6: uh have a good.

494
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:45,080
Speaker 1: Day, thanks for calling, of course, have a good one.

495
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:47,800
Speaker 1: I was I have. This is fucked up, But you

496
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,680
Speaker 1: know what, what is sad is that dog like if

497
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:54,600
Speaker 1: I like, let's say you were a dog and you

498
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:59,480
Speaker 1: really did want to make out with a human woman,

499
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,119
Speaker 1: there would be no way for you to express that.

500
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:08,640
Speaker 1: And so we don't know if dogs like making out

501
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:14,439
Speaker 1: with people, but we still villainize it even though we

502
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 1: don't know if it's if they like it, which is what,

503
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 1: which is, by the way, the right move. I think

504
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 1: that's a good thing to do. I think we should

505
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 1: continue to villainize making out with dogs because scenario one,

506
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 1: dogs like making out with human people and we villainize it,

507
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:35,879
Speaker 1: and the dogs are upset because they don't get to

508
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 1: make out with human people. Scenario two, the dogs don't

509
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:46,199
Speaker 1: like making out with human women and we don't villainize it,

510
00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:49,959
Speaker 1: and then the dogs are you know, so I think

511
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,200
Speaker 1: it's good that we villainize it. I think the risks

512
00:27:52,720 --> 00:28:00,040
Speaker 1: of not villainizing making out with dogs outweigh the the

513
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 1: pros of doing it. If that makes sense. Let's take

514
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 1: another call. Hello, Hello, Hi, oh Hi, what's up. What

515
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 1: are you doing?

516
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:17,640
Speaker 4: Oh?

517
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:21,040
Speaker 3: I'm just drinking and playing games like a loser.

518
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:24,240
Speaker 1: What is your name?

519
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 4: Moss? It's not really my name, but I figure it'll work.

520
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 1: Moss. I have a fake name tip for you.

521
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:36,760
Speaker 4: Okay.

522
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:39,160
Speaker 1: The whole point of the fake name is that you

523
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,520
Speaker 1: play it off like it's your real name. Actually, I

524
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:45,240
Speaker 1: guess it's not necessarily true. I forget I said anything.

525
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:46,360
Speaker 1: I don't know anything about anything.

526
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 5: I don't know.

527
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 1: I don't know shit. Uh okay, Okay, what's going on

528
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 1: with you today, Moss?

529
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:02,680
Speaker 4: Just another day of you know, bomb, another day of

530
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 4: what being a bomb?

531
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 1: Just yeah, Well, Moss, it says here that you feel

532
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 1: as that you're addicted to buying a coworker, You have

533
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:19,760
Speaker 1: a crush on stuff, and you you claim that you

534
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 1: have bought him at least three hundred dollars worth of stuff.

535
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, that's that's true.

536
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:31,440
Speaker 1: Okay. What kinds of stuff are you buying for for

537
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:32,200
Speaker 1: this coworker?

538
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:34,640
Speaker 4: Well, he's a.

539
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 3: Video game collector, so I'm getting him video game consoles,

540
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:43,400
Speaker 3: games that are resold for a higher price at resale

541
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 3: shops that kind of thing.

542
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, and how has he been responding to these gifts?

543
00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:57,040
Speaker 4: Just verbal?

544
00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:01,680
Speaker 3: Hey thanks, maybe a pat on the shoulder, but uh,

545
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:05,360
Speaker 3: nothing like physical and returned or anything like that.

546
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 1: Okay, why do you feel like you are buying him

547
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 1: these gifts?

548
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:17,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm worried that I'm like doing it to why

549
00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:21,680
Speaker 4: his affection when I also feel like I just enjoy

550
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 4: giving stuff, but my giving is targeted towards him.

551
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 3: And not just giving in general.

552
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 4: So that's why I feel like I'm it's more selfish

553
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 4: than anything altruistic.

554
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 1: Okay, you feel as though you're trying to buy his affection? Yeah,

555
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:46,160
Speaker 1: is this something you've ever done in the past? I

556
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:53,480
Speaker 1: think so, Okay, why do you feel like, you know,

557
00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:55,240
Speaker 1: if this is something you haven't done in the past,

558
00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 1: why do you feel like, because you know, I assume

559
00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 1: you've had crushes in the past, and you've looked, you know,

560
00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:02,800
Speaker 1: liked people in the past, why do you feel like,

561
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:09,000
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, this is how you're you know,

562
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:13,480
Speaker 1: responding to this crush.

563
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:17,200
Speaker 3: Well, the thing is like, I've never really had a

564
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:21,520
Speaker 3: crush before. I guess growing up, I'm like didn't really

565
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 3: seek a lot of connections with people, and then for

566
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:27,720
Speaker 3: some reason late in college, I'm all of a sudden

567
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 3: like wanting to be friends and actually developed feelings for

568
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 3: other people. And I guess, since I have a lack

569
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:40,040
Speaker 3: of experience with this whole crush thing, I'm just resorting

570
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:45,840
Speaker 3: to the buy things way because that's all I know,

571
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:46,880
Speaker 3: I guess.

572
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:57,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, And uh, how like long have you been

573
00:31:57,720 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 1: buying some gifts for?

574
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:05,520
Speaker 3: I say, since September, so a couple months.

575
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 1: Here, Okay, So I mean, aside from just buying gifts,

576
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:14,640
Speaker 1: have you like told him that you like him and

577
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:16,800
Speaker 1: asked him if he wants to go out with you

578
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:23,040
Speaker 1: or or or made any kind of direct move? Uh

579
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 1: like this?

580
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 4: Well, we were having a conversation once and he said

581
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:33,280
Speaker 4: he doesn't date coworkers, So I'm pretty sure that was

582
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 4: an indirect rejection.

583
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:37,360
Speaker 3: Okay, at least that's how I took it.

584
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:47,240
Speaker 1: Okay, M Why do you feel like buying him things

585
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:48,880
Speaker 1: was the best way to get his attention?

586
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:58,480
Speaker 3: Maybe I'm like insecure in my own personality to attract

587
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 3: him and get his attention, And that's fine.

588
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:06,640
Speaker 4: It's just easier then, like the way to build a relationship.

589
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 4: I guess instead, of just talking in general, because I'm

590
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:12,040
Speaker 4: not that good at talking either.

591
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:16,000
Speaker 1: Have you ever had a boyfriend before or been in

592
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:18,520
Speaker 1: a relationship? No?

593
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 4: Nice?

594
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:24,280
Speaker 1: Okay, by the way, nothing wrong with that. Do you

595
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 1: have a lot of friends? No? Okay? Have you had

596
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 1: friends really much at all throughout your life?

597
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:38,440
Speaker 4: A few in high school, but that's about it.

598
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:41,719
Speaker 1: Okay. So you say that you feel like you're not

599
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 1: confident in yourself enough to sort of have a normal

600
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:53,400
Speaker 1: conversation with this guy, and so you've kind of you

601
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 1: know that meme of like the kid who's walking up

602
00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 1: steps and he just like takes his leg and puts

603
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:01,960
Speaker 1: it like a a bunch of other steps. You're like

604
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 1: doing that but with buying gifts.

605
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:10,960
Speaker 4: But what steps am I missing?

606
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 1: What steps are you missing? Well, let's let's go back

607
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:22,719
Speaker 1: to this, like where do you feel as though you

608
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 1: are like in your mind? Where do you feel as

609
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:34,240
Speaker 1: though you're you're lacking in your ability to have conversations

610
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:34,920
Speaker 1: with other people?

611
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:35,120
Speaker 3: Like?

612
00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:38,600
Speaker 1: What? What? What do you feel as insufficient about yourself

613
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:40,359
Speaker 1: in your own mind?

614
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:44,680
Speaker 4: I would say probably just talking in general.

615
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:49,880
Speaker 3: I'm like, I mesh words together and improv is not

616
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,080
Speaker 3: my thing. If I have to talk on the spot.

617
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 4: I just slimsy.

618
00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:56,319
Speaker 3: My words use a lot of filler and I'm not

619
00:34:56,520 --> 00:35:00,400
Speaker 3: very clear, So I just have bad speech skills.

620
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:00,879
Speaker 2: I guess.

621
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 6: Mm hmm.

622
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:05,239
Speaker 1: And has this been a thing for for a long time?

623
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:08,879
Speaker 4: Yeah, mm hm.

624
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:15,279
Speaker 1: Hmmm. Let me ask you a question, do you have

625
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 1: a real therapist?

626
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:22,239
Speaker 4: I used to, but I didn't need to get back to.

627
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 3: Doing that.

628
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 1: When you brought this up with them, what kinds of

629
00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:27,960
Speaker 1: things would they tell you?

630
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:32,640
Speaker 3: Oh, I haven't had a therapist in the hot minute now,

631
00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 3: so I haven't talked to a professional about this.

632
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:36,560
Speaker 6: M hm.

633
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:44,799
Speaker 1: See, it's it's interesting and it's interesting to me too, because, like,

634
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:50,040
Speaker 1: I mean, we're having a conversation right now, and you've

635
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 1: given me a lot of infom we we've I would

636
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:57,359
Speaker 1: say you, this has been a successful conversation so far.

637
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:00,319
Speaker 1: How in whatever rubric you would use, did you just

638
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:05,440
Speaker 1: success of a conversation? And you say you're not good

639
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:07,800
Speaker 1: at improv you're not good at expressing yourself, but yet

640
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 1: you have been able to express yourself pretty well over

641
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,759
Speaker 1: the course of our conversation. And so it's kind of

642
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:19,279
Speaker 1: making me think, like, there's this weird thing and I

643
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:23,680
Speaker 1: fall victim to it too. Where you like build up

644
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:28,680
Speaker 1: these uh I think they're called schemas in your mind

645
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:32,279
Speaker 1: about yourself. You know, shit like I'm not good at

646
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:34,600
Speaker 1: talking to people, or I'm not good at this, or

647
00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:37,400
Speaker 1: or even I am good at this and whatnot. And

648
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:46,319
Speaker 1: then like your reality and your schemas of yourself or no,

649
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:52,719
Speaker 1: those schemas they blind you from reality. So because you've

650
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:57,239
Speaker 1: built up in your head, perhaps over the course of

651
00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:03,520
Speaker 1: several years, this idea of who you are and how

652
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:10,239
Speaker 1: you act your your it like blinds you to any

653
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:14,400
Speaker 1: kind of reality that people who are just meeting you

654
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 1: for the first time, they don't see you through the

655
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:22,680
Speaker 1: lens of the ideas that you've built up about yourself,

656
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:25,680
Speaker 1: and so they don't look at you and go, this

657
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:30,319
Speaker 1: person hasn't it not to talk? You know, they see

658
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:35,440
Speaker 1: you for, in a sense, what you are. And so

659
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:41,520
Speaker 1: the process of getting you to see yourself as what

660
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 1: you are is a law. It becomes a long and

661
00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:51,920
Speaker 1: arduous one because you're unraveling years and years and years

662
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 1: of ideas that you've built up about yourself. We're obviously

663
00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 1: not gonna be able to do that over the course

664
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:00,880
Speaker 1: of this call. Because I am a real therapist I'm

665
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:04,360
Speaker 1: a guy in a gecko costume and be you know,

666
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:07,760
Speaker 1: it sounds like you spent many years, you know, building

667
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:12,239
Speaker 1: up this this image of yourself, And so I think

668
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:21,279
Speaker 1: that the goal then becomes, how do we remove this

669
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:25,040
Speaker 1: negative image you have of yourself and then replace it

670
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:29,000
Speaker 1: with a more positive one. And I don't know, that's

671
00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 1: probably some of the ship that they teach you in

672
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:32,399
Speaker 1: that school where they like, you know, teach you shit

673
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:36,600
Speaker 1: about how that kind of be a real therapist. But

674
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:42,000
Speaker 1: I guess I would say, like if you can think, if, if, if,

675
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 1: if there could be one central thought that you have

676
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:49,680
Speaker 1: that you know, hopefully you walk away from this from

677
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:57,400
Speaker 1: you walk away from this with, is that you, even

678
00:38:57,440 --> 00:39:03,799
Speaker 1: though it's weird, even though you know yourself more intimately

679
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:12,560
Speaker 1: than anyone else does, you can't always trust your own

680
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:17,000
Speaker 1: image of yourself. So when you think of yourself as

681
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 1: being unable to talk to people, or of being awkward,

682
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:27,280
Speaker 1: or of being any of these things, you can't trust

683
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:30,960
Speaker 1: those thoughts. And then when you do trust those thoughts,

684
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:34,440
Speaker 1: they also become like these self fulfilling prophecies. You think

685
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:38,400
Speaker 1: of yourself as these things, and then you become those things.

686
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:42,719
Speaker 1: But if you stopped at the beginning, and you didn't

687
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:47,080
Speaker 1: trust these thoughts that you had of yourself. Then you

688
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 1: become this new thing, this blank slate that can be

689
00:39:55,200 --> 00:40:01,080
Speaker 1: written in any way that you choose. So I don't know,

690
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 1: think about think about that. I guess instead of buying

691
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:13,239
Speaker 1: this guy in Xbox by yourself, a goddamn xbox, you

692
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 1: deserve it. And you know, another thing is like, can

693
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:20,959
Speaker 1: I tell you just one one more thing? Even if

694
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:25,239
Speaker 1: this is something I've talked about in this podcast a lot,

695
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:30,040
Speaker 1: I haven't talked I haven't been streaming for uh many

696
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:33,399
Speaker 1: times for many weeks, so I've forgotten about all this shit.

697
00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:38,360
Speaker 1: But see, the thing is is that when it comes

698
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:47,759
Speaker 1: to matters like these, even if you could successfully purchase

699
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:53,919
Speaker 1: via ataris wait, he says he likes retro stuff. Via

700
00:40:55,360 --> 00:41:00,319
Speaker 1: ataris this man's affection, it would be worthless to you.

701
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:06,319
Speaker 1: In fact, everyone's validation of you, good or bad, by

702
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:14,399
Speaker 1: the way, is a worthless thing, because it's it's they're

703
00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:18,279
Speaker 1: the They're un there. They're in the in.

704
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:27,040
Speaker 5: The building of the foundation of your image of yourself,

705
00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:31,719
Speaker 5: other people's ideas of you.

706
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:38,360
Speaker 1: They're bricks made out of sand. They they work for

707
00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:42,680
Speaker 1: a little bit, but they're ultimately unsustainable to building a

708
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 1: solid foundation, whether they're good or bad, So don't trust

709
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:59,879
Speaker 1: them and try to, you know, build something from within.

710
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:05,480
Speaker 1: What do you think about all of that? What's your

711
00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:11,280
Speaker 1: name again? Mass? What do you think about all that? Mass?

712
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:15,520
Speaker 4: It is definitely arguous, a long path, and.

713
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 3: Sometimes I resort to the easier way of, oh, I

714
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:22,400
Speaker 3: just take myself. I don't deserve a chance to love myself,

715
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:28,000
Speaker 3: but it is definitely worth building a clean slate for

716
00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 3: myself and getting value through me instead of other people,

717
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:35,840
Speaker 3: especially through externals.

718
00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:49,080
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, yeah. Yeah. And if I don't, don't beat

719
00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:54,440
Speaker 1: yourself up for you know, this whole buying, this whole whatever,

720
00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:57,279
Speaker 1: because what I don't, what I don't want you to do,

721
00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:04,600
Speaker 1: is be like, oh, I'm a fucking you know, loser.

722
00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:06,560
Speaker 1: I spent all this money about it, because you're not

723
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:12,799
Speaker 1: gonna get anywhere doing that, you know, don't, don't. Don't.

724
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:16,400
Speaker 1: The process of doing all this ship that we just

725
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:19,840
Speaker 1: talked about is one that a lot of people are

726
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:23,040
Speaker 1: going through and they make a lot of mistakes. So,

727
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:25,360
Speaker 1: you know, don't beat yourself up for any mistakes you

728
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:36,919
Speaker 1: make along the way, including buying some guy an xbox, Moss,

729
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:38,000
Speaker 1: is there anything else you want to say to the

730
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:41,360
Speaker 1: people the computer before you go? Uh?

731
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:43,320
Speaker 3: Well, I hope you had a good time in Japan,

732
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:47,520
Speaker 3: and uh I did all you people out there? I

733
00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:51,200
Speaker 3: guess if you're gonna buy some dude to PlayStation, buy

734
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:53,280
Speaker 3: yourself a PlayStation, buy.

735
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:57,960
Speaker 1: Yourself a PlayStation. I like that. This episode is sponsored

736
00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:04,759
Speaker 1: by UH buy Nothing. Thank you for calling Moss, Yeah,

737
00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:10,239
Speaker 1: thank you for your time. Hello, Hi, Hi, how are

738
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:12,360
Speaker 1: you doing doing all right? How are you.

739
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 7: Doing all right?

740
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:15,239
Speaker 1: Well?

741
00:44:15,440 --> 00:44:15,839
Speaker 7: Not really?

742
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:17,759
Speaker 1: But why why?

743
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:17,920
Speaker 3: Not?

744
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:18,200
Speaker 1: Really?

745
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 7: So it's not like I just figured this out, but

746
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:27,160
Speaker 7: for my whole life, I've figured out that I've been

747
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:28,680
Speaker 7: extremely hateful.

748
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:31,320
Speaker 3: What do you like?

749
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:33,720
Speaker 7: I'm sorry? Good?

750
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 1: No, no, you please go ahead give me the top

751
00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:38,080
Speaker 1: line of of why you feel like you are you

752
00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:38,640
Speaker 1: are hateful?

753
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:44,000
Speaker 7: Well, I can give you a good example for today.

754
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:49,279
Speaker 7: I came home. Something else happened that I you know,

755
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:52,399
Speaker 7: I'll probably go into but I came home. My mom

756
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:55,000
Speaker 7: asked me out of my parents are twenty six? Uh

757
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:58,400
Speaker 7: mom asked me, hey, you know, do you want any dinner?

758
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:05,640
Speaker 7: And I appreci needed to basically tell her that I don't.

759
00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:09,200
Speaker 7: I don't want anything and just sort of of fuck off.

760
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:14,080
Speaker 1: Okay, so your mom, you came home, your mom asked

761
00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:16,200
Speaker 1: you if you want any food, and then you told

762
00:45:16,239 --> 00:45:21,920
Speaker 1: her to fuck off? Oh yeah, okay, yeah, okay, So

763
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:26,880
Speaker 1: in that moment, what do you feel like was compelling

764
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:31,799
Speaker 1: your anger? Because I mean, this is like maybe cliche shit,

765
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:34,760
Speaker 1: but I think we both know that in that moment,

766
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:43,480
Speaker 1: you are not actually upset at your mom, but like

767
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:50,280
Speaker 1: you're upset something else and you have this like opportunity

768
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 1: to unleash the anger. It's like you're taking your shit

769
00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:56,160
Speaker 1: and you're not going to hold it in, and you

770
00:45:56,239 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 1: finally let it out and you diarrhea on your mom.

771
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:02,799
Speaker 1: Why do you what made you want to diarrhea on

772
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:07,760
Speaker 1: your mom?

773
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:12,600
Speaker 7: Basically come to the realization that just a piece of shit.

774
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:17,319
Speaker 7: Now i'd say that because well you know that was

775
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:20,839
Speaker 7: a good reason, but that it was not the first

776
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:27,239
Speaker 7: time Okay, it happened for the past in six seven years.

777
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:34,319
Speaker 1: Okay, Well before you just say you're a piece of shit,

778
00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:37,080
Speaker 1: I mean it's not with you know, I just want

779
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:43,359
Speaker 1: you to recognize that, however true or false, you may

780
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:49,160
Speaker 1: feel like that is it. It is unhelpful information, Some

781
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:53,719
Speaker 1: unhelpful declaration because we can't go anywhere from it. You're

782
00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:56,640
Speaker 1: a piece of shit, okay, now what You're just a

783
00:46:56,640 --> 00:47:00,520
Speaker 1: piece of shit forever and ever. There's no way for

784
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:02,920
Speaker 1: you to, you know, start living your life better or

785
00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 1: anything like that. So you know, let's not throw ourselves

786
00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,319
Speaker 1: into a dead end by just saying you're a piece

787
00:47:08,320 --> 00:47:13,160
Speaker 1: of ship. So tell me, and we don't. We're not

788
00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:17,720
Speaker 1: going to get into all seven years of this right now,

789
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:22,880
Speaker 1: but tell me just today, in that moment when you

790
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:28,359
Speaker 1: were yelling at your mom, what was compelling you to

791
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:28,719
Speaker 1: do that?

792
00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:35,880
Speaker 7: So I've been in this relationship with this girl for

793
00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:42,160
Speaker 7: really long, and within that time and before it, I

794
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:44,520
Speaker 7: used to be even worse and I will manage to

795
00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:48,920
Speaker 7: work myself to be better. But I was doing it

796
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:53,399
Speaker 7: everywhere else except for in the relationship, okay, and then

797
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:59,480
Speaker 7: today I in a ten minute phone call, I managed

798
00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:05,320
Speaker 7: to completely just destroy it and end it. And that,

799
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:10,279
Speaker 7: you know, it is probably why I had diarrhea on

800
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:13,400
Speaker 7: my mom.

801
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:18,520
Speaker 1: So you were taking out anger from that relationship ending

802
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:28,239
Speaker 1: on your mom. Yes, okay, let me ask you a

803
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:33,359
Speaker 1: quick question. Have you been to real therapy to talk

804
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:33,719
Speaker 1: about this?

805
00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:42,240
Speaker 7: I have so back back in elementary I used to

806
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:45,000
Speaker 7: bully people so hard that they forced me to go

807
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:45,680
Speaker 7: into therapy.

808
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:52,000
Speaker 1: Okay, and this was back in elementary school. Is this

809
00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:57,560
Speaker 1: I mean, you're what twenty six now, I'm twenty six now, yeah, okay?

810
00:48:57,600 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 1: And are you in therapy as an adult?

811
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:01,919
Speaker 7: As an adult now?

812
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:06,799
Speaker 1: Okay? Have you ever been in a situation where you've

813
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:08,680
Speaker 1: talked to a real therapist about this issue?

814
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:13,040
Speaker 7: M this specific issue? Now?

815
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:17,120
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you this because I've

816
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 1: been thinking about this and I've been try to be

817
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:24,160
Speaker 1: more respond responsible. I I'm definitely down to talk to

818
00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:27,120
Speaker 1: you about this issue. I don't know what's up, but

819
00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:28,839
Speaker 1: you should go to a real therapist to talk about

820
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:33,719
Speaker 1: this after we talk, because it sounds like you might

821
00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:36,239
Speaker 1: have and I'm not gonna I don't know. I'm a

822
00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:38,480
Speaker 1: guy in a costume on the internet, but you might

823
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:43,040
Speaker 1: have some you know, genuine personality disorder. If this has

824
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:46,000
Speaker 1: been a thing that's been persisting, I'm not the guy

825
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:48,560
Speaker 1: who's gonna be able to tell you that definitively, so

826
00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:52,920
Speaker 1: I think you should figure that out. But okay, that aside,

827
00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:58,040
Speaker 1: So he said this has been a thing for the

828
00:49:58,080 --> 00:49:59,200
Speaker 1: past seven years.

829
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:05,360
Speaker 7: Yes, it's it's it's scaled up in the past seven years,

830
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,520
Speaker 7: not like super extreme, but noticeably.

831
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:19,480
Speaker 1: Okay, you told me just now you were like this.

832
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:22,279
Speaker 1: You said this was something you've been working on and

833
00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:24,440
Speaker 1: that you were able to kind of improve it in

834
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:27,200
Speaker 1: every aspect of your life except for in your relationship.

835
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:35,919
Speaker 1: Is that what you said? Okay, yeah, tell me what

836
00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 1: that improvement looked like.

837
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:43,000
Speaker 7: Uh, the improvement looked like going into work, creating a

838
00:50:43,160 --> 00:50:47,400
Speaker 7: good relationship with everybody there. Uh. You know, when I

839
00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:50,480
Speaker 7: make a mistake at work, I wasn't you know, getting

840
00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 7: mad at myself and you know, basically getting angry in

841
00:50:53,239 --> 00:51:00,480
Speaker 7: the corner. I was able to, like normal citizens around

842
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:03,920
Speaker 7: where I live. I was able to establish good relationships

843
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:07,719
Speaker 7: with them, you know, even in driving, like people you know,

844
00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:10,480
Speaker 7: tending to get real bridge a lot, and I had

845
00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:16,040
Speaker 7: completely cut that out. What else.

846
00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:19,640
Speaker 4: I mean?

847
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:22,480
Speaker 7: Meanly, all I can say is just the interactions I

848
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:27,359
Speaker 7: have with other people have improved. Would I say that

849
00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:31,960
Speaker 7: it improved in my home? Maybe for a couple of years.

850
00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:36,920
Speaker 1: Okay, So if you get granular with me for a second,

851
00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:39,760
Speaker 1: you say that the relationships you have with other people

852
00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:44,560
Speaker 1: just strangers, not necessarily people. You have intimate relationships with

853
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:47,399
Speaker 1: like like people you have romantic relationships with, or your

854
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:51,600
Speaker 1: family or your friends, but just like starting with folks

855
00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:54,360
Speaker 1: you encounter around town and you say the relationships have

856
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:57,120
Speaker 1: gotten better, Like, can I get like specific details of

857
00:51:57,160 --> 00:51:58,759
Speaker 1: ways in which you feel like they've gotten better?

858
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:05,200
Speaker 7: Okay, So there was a guy down the block for

859
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:09,040
Speaker 7: me and I used to hang out with this this

860
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:13,080
Speaker 7: I don't know what you want to call him a hooligan, okay,

861
00:52:13,200 --> 00:52:17,719
Speaker 7: you know he was affiliated with people. And I was

862
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:20,800
Speaker 7: on my large dirt bike riding around town on the street.

863
00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:23,560
Speaker 7: Now I didn't have a license play on or anything.

864
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:29,040
Speaker 7: And my folgan friend was on a small mop head

865
00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:31,560
Speaker 7: and the guy down the street came over to my

866
00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:35,040
Speaker 7: house because he saw us riding and was basically yelling

867
00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:39,279
Speaker 7: at my dad because of what he was writing and

868
00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:43,360
Speaker 7: not what I was writing. And we were basically able to,

869
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:46,200
Speaker 7: you know, calm him down and say, hey, you know,

870
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:49,160
Speaker 7: I'm sorry for doing that. You know, I know what's wrong.

871
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:52,880
Speaker 7: I don't have a license for it. And then after

872
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:56,880
Speaker 7: after that, you know, I used to I would go

873
00:52:56,920 --> 00:52:58,680
Speaker 7: over to his house and help him with like yard work,

874
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:03,239
Speaker 7: you help him fix his house, you know, my my

875
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:05,080
Speaker 7: parents would would make food for me to take over

876
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:10,000
Speaker 7: to them, and kind of didn't. It kind of went

877
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:14,799
Speaker 7: from I mean even before that, you know, we were

878
00:53:15,040 --> 00:53:20,440
Speaker 7: we're reckless around town, and even before that, uh, it

879
00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:21,919
Speaker 7: wasn't Okay, you.

880
00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 1: Do you still have Do you still hang out with

881
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:27,400
Speaker 1: this uh as you describe him hooligan friend?

882
00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:30,560
Speaker 7: No, he is in jail.

883
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:42,799
Speaker 1: Okay, See what's your name, Charles? What else does your

884
00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:43,600
Speaker 1: life look like?

885
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:44,000
Speaker 4: Now?

886
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:45,600
Speaker 1: What do you What do you do for work?

887
00:53:48,239 --> 00:53:48,399
Speaker 4: So?

888
00:53:48,640 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 7: What I do for work right now? Is I work

889
00:53:50,280 --> 00:53:54,800
Speaker 7: as a machinist at a yacht a fishing yacht manufacturer.

890
00:53:55,480 --> 00:54:00,480
Speaker 1: Okay? Are you happy doing that? Mm?

891
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:05,040
Speaker 7: It's it's easy work because I know it, but it's

892
00:54:05,239 --> 00:54:07,520
Speaker 7: not paying me very nicely.

893
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:11,800
Speaker 1: Do you have an idea, even it's hard to get

894
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:15,279
Speaker 1: the full picture, but an idea of what you think

895
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:18,879
Speaker 1: would make you feel more fulfilled or happy in life?

896
00:54:21,680 --> 00:54:24,840
Speaker 7: I think I got to put myself in a situation

897
00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:28,400
Speaker 7: where I have to only depend on myself and not

898
00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:32,560
Speaker 7: come home to two people that are ready to basically

899
00:54:32,760 --> 00:54:33,200
Speaker 7: serve me.

900
00:54:34,920 --> 00:54:35,480
Speaker 1: Okay.

901
00:54:35,520 --> 00:54:37,920
Speaker 7: And I would also like to make more money.

902
00:54:38,719 --> 00:54:41,360
Speaker 1: Okay, do you make enough money now for you to

903
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:42,359
Speaker 1: move out of your parents house.

904
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:47,479
Speaker 7: No I don't, okay, which is crazy because I get

905
00:54:47,480 --> 00:54:48,880
Speaker 7: paid good hourly.

906
00:54:49,680 --> 00:54:52,600
Speaker 1: Yeah are they now? Is the job not giving you

907
00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:58,120
Speaker 1: enough hours? Or no, you're not making enough mon name

908
00:54:58,120 --> 00:54:59,480
Speaker 1: of any parents.

909
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:04,439
Speaker 7: So I went in at like I moderately low pay.

910
00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:08,239
Speaker 7: They do like one dollar to two dollar raises if

911
00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:11,200
Speaker 7: you're really lucky once a year, and then after five

912
00:55:11,320 --> 00:55:13,400
Speaker 7: years you have to wait three years to get a

913
00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:16,800
Speaker 7: one dollar raise. So I went. I went from I

914
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:19,880
Speaker 7: don't mind talking about money. I went from eighteen fifty

915
00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:23,440
Speaker 7: three years later, I'm now at twenty four dollars. So

916
00:55:23,520 --> 00:55:29,919
Speaker 7: I've gotten larger raises, but in two more years, I'm

917
00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:32,440
Speaker 7: still not going to be able to buy a house

918
00:55:32,560 --> 00:55:33,919
Speaker 7: or even afford a nice car.

919
00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:38,680
Speaker 1: Okay, what about moving out and getting like you know,

920
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:42,480
Speaker 1: into a spot with like three other dudes in a

921
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:45,759
Speaker 1: house as a roommate. Do you have enough to afford that?

922
00:55:47,840 --> 00:55:50,640
Speaker 7: I would have enough to afford that. I just don't

923
00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:53,439
Speaker 7: know any people who are in the position to move

924
00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:54,760
Speaker 7: out being single.

925
00:55:55,600 --> 00:56:01,520
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, I mean I don't know. Man. I got

926
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:04,000
Speaker 1: a couple of thoughts about this. Uh and again this

927
00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:08,200
Speaker 1: is you know, I still think that if if you're

928
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:13,360
Speaker 1: what you're experiencing does seem like it's it's a serious

929
00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:16,520
Speaker 1: issue that's been persistent and you should totally go and

930
00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:21,719
Speaker 1: get a professional's opinion on this. But I mean, if

931
00:56:21,719 --> 00:56:27,400
Speaker 1: you're not happy with your life and everyone and everyone

932
00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:30,359
Speaker 1: has like you know, everyone has aspects of their life

933
00:56:30,360 --> 00:56:32,640
Speaker 1: even if things are going great, or like you know,

934
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:35,920
Speaker 1: days where they get upset and angry and like you know,

935
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:38,520
Speaker 1: maybe lose control over their anger and whatnot. But if

936
00:56:38,560 --> 00:56:41,839
Speaker 1: on a top line, you're not happy with what's going

937
00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:46,239
Speaker 1: on with you, you know, you're just gonna be pissed off

938
00:56:46,239 --> 00:56:50,360
Speaker 1: all the time, and that's gonna, you know, give you

939
00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:55,400
Speaker 1: that diarrhea that you then you know, give to your mother.

940
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:04,400
Speaker 1: And so I think, you know what I what's giving

941
00:57:04,440 --> 00:57:07,480
Speaker 1: me hope about you from you know, the ten minutes

942
00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:13,800
Speaker 1: I've been talking to you, is that you seem very calm,

943
00:57:14,239 --> 00:57:21,240
Speaker 1: You seem very collected, you seem very to the point

944
00:57:21,440 --> 00:57:25,080
Speaker 1: about this is my issue. I know it is an issue.

945
00:57:25,920 --> 00:57:28,880
Speaker 1: Here's my vague ideas of how I'm going to fix

946
00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:42,280
Speaker 1: this issue. And that's a good place to start. Tell

947
00:57:42,320 --> 00:57:45,560
Speaker 1: me about your girlfriend. You just broke up with her?

948
00:57:47,920 --> 00:57:51,040
Speaker 7: Uh yeah, well we've been broken up for probably the

949
00:57:51,080 --> 00:57:56,320
Speaker 7: past two and a half months, consistently before that, like two.

950
00:57:56,320 --> 00:58:01,680
Speaker 1: Or three times, okay, because I feel like, and again

951
00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:02,800
Speaker 1: I don't want to tell you what to do with

952
00:58:02,840 --> 00:58:05,440
Speaker 1: your life, but I feel like if you have this

953
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:09,400
Speaker 1: persistent anger issue that caused you to lash out at people,

954
00:58:10,160 --> 00:58:15,000
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be fair to her to keep being in

955
00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:20,280
Speaker 1: a relationship with her until you really, honestly feel like

956
00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:26,600
Speaker 1: you've resolved that problem.

957
00:58:26,920 --> 00:58:32,800
Speaker 7: Right now, I agree with you, but I just don't.

958
00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:36,520
Speaker 7: I just I think it's just too far gone right now?

959
00:58:37,520 --> 00:58:40,000
Speaker 1: What do you mean by too far gone?

960
00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:43,960
Speaker 7: Hmmm, Like so many things have happened that have been

961
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:46,959
Speaker 7: my fault that there's just there's no chance that any

962
00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:50,880
Speaker 7: sane person in their mind would ever think about, oh well,

963
00:58:50,880 --> 00:58:51,840
Speaker 7: this won't happen again.

964
00:58:51,960 --> 00:58:59,240
Speaker 1: So okay, okay, you know what. I think it's good

965
00:58:59,280 --> 00:59:04,200
Speaker 1: that you know that. I think you might have to

966
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:09,320
Speaker 1: just accept that. And I don't think it is the

967
00:59:09,720 --> 00:59:16,960
Speaker 1: crushing end of the world, because if you're like, Okay,

968
00:59:17,080 --> 00:59:19,920
Speaker 1: I did things in this relationship where nobody in the

969
00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:27,480
Speaker 1: right mind would forgive me afterwards or feel as though

970
00:59:27,520 --> 00:59:33,640
Speaker 1: this would not change, I think it's good for you

971
00:59:35,080 --> 00:59:41,680
Speaker 1: to now have this singular focused mindset towards Okay, I

972
00:59:41,880 --> 00:59:45,959
Speaker 1: can't be in a relationship right now. I just need

973
00:59:45,960 --> 00:59:50,520
Speaker 1: to focus one hundred percent on doing the things I

974
00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:54,400
Speaker 1: need to do to fix this about myself, because I

975
00:59:54,440 --> 00:59:59,200
Speaker 1: can't sustainably live life being the way that I'm being.

976
01:00:00,560 --> 01:00:06,640
Speaker 1: And you can do that by going to therapy, identifying

977
01:00:06,720 --> 01:00:09,000
Speaker 1: the things in your life that you have the ability

978
01:00:09,040 --> 01:00:16,560
Speaker 1: to change that can make it better so you're not

979
01:00:16,760 --> 01:00:19,080
Speaker 1: miserable all the time and taking that misery out on

980
01:00:19,120 --> 01:00:24,640
Speaker 1: other people. And I understand that you're seem as though

981
01:00:24,680 --> 01:00:28,560
Speaker 1: you're you're kind of mourning the loss of this relationship,

982
01:00:29,680 --> 01:00:33,480
Speaker 1: but look, if you truly love this person, I think

983
01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:40,080
Speaker 1: you'll understand that it's not fair for her to be

984
01:00:40,120 --> 01:00:45,560
Speaker 1: dealing with you before you've even dealt with yourself, and

985
01:00:45,600 --> 01:00:48,520
Speaker 1: so you'd be you'd be smart to let that go

986
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:55,520
Speaker 1: and just focus one hundred on figuring out your shit,

987
01:00:56,520 --> 01:00:59,440
Speaker 1: which again from I don't I don't know you and

988
01:00:59,480 --> 01:01:03,200
Speaker 1: I don't you know, but about from the way that

989
01:01:03,240 --> 01:01:06,360
Speaker 1: you've presented yourself to us on the phone, it seems

990
01:01:06,400 --> 01:01:11,959
Speaker 1: like you have a good foundation of awareness of what

991
01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:16,560
Speaker 1: you're fucking up on to begin down that journey of

992
01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:20,680
Speaker 1: fixing it. That's that's what I get off of what

993
01:01:20,720 --> 01:01:21,240
Speaker 1: you've told me.

994
01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:25,920
Speaker 7: Oh and actually I remember I have been to therapy

995
01:01:26,040 --> 01:01:31,000
Speaker 7: recently as quote unquote adult. It depends on what you

996
01:01:31,040 --> 01:01:34,200
Speaker 7: think as adult. I was like seventeen, I got caught

997
01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:37,480
Speaker 7: what we I got caught with a smoking a weed

998
01:01:37,520 --> 01:01:40,800
Speaker 7: from my buddies, and the school made me go to

999
01:01:40,880 --> 01:01:45,960
Speaker 7: therapy for, you know, to get off of weed. And

1000
01:01:46,160 --> 01:01:51,560
Speaker 7: in those therapy sessions, he put he said exactly what

1001
01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:53,200
Speaker 7: you what you were saying right now, you know how

1002
01:01:53,440 --> 01:01:55,000
Speaker 7: you know you're saying, how you were, how I carry

1003
01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:58,360
Speaker 7: myself and how I presented myself over the phone. And

1004
01:01:58,440 --> 01:02:02,520
Speaker 7: that only lasted ship maybe three weeks.

1005
01:02:03,640 --> 01:02:04,040
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

1006
01:02:05,360 --> 01:02:08,200
Speaker 7: At that point, I was I was at an okay

1007
01:02:08,400 --> 01:02:09,280
Speaker 7: point in my life.

1008
01:02:09,680 --> 01:02:09,800
Speaker 1: Uh.

1009
01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:13,720
Speaker 7: But then the very next well the next four months

1010
01:02:13,720 --> 01:02:17,320
Speaker 7: after that, I had gotten arrested for some serious first

1011
01:02:17,360 --> 01:02:17,960
Speaker 7: group feildings.

1012
01:02:18,960 --> 01:02:29,880
Speaker 1: Okay, tell them before we just before we go, Charles,

1013
01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:34,360
Speaker 1: do you have an idea of what your next step

1014
01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:40,760
Speaker 1: is going to be after this too? Like, what what's

1015
01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:43,400
Speaker 1: your next step on the path of dealing with this?

1016
01:02:46,680 --> 01:02:51,680
Speaker 7: I guess I'm just going to focus on my career. Uh,

1017
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:54,920
Speaker 7: maybe a career change. I did go in today and

1018
01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:57,480
Speaker 7: ask if they had other opportunities elsewhere. I asked for

1019
01:02:57,920 --> 01:03:00,640
Speaker 7: a cudo training. Uh. They were of has shown the

1020
01:03:00,720 --> 01:03:03,280
Speaker 7: idea and said that they would make an offer to

1021
01:03:03,320 --> 01:03:06,480
Speaker 7: me to stay in the machine shop. So I will

1022
01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:11,520
Speaker 7: see what happens with that. Other than that, I don't

1023
01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:14,320
Speaker 7: really I don't really know. I kind of just kind

1024
01:03:14,320 --> 01:03:16,200
Speaker 7: of just you know, I don't really believe in myself.

1025
01:03:17,280 --> 01:03:23,560
Speaker 1: M hm m hm. This is Charles. I'm gonna say.

1026
01:03:23,560 --> 01:03:25,919
Speaker 1: I think you should. I think you should consider going

1027
01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:28,160
Speaker 1: back to real therapy. I think they would be able

1028
01:03:28,200 --> 01:03:32,960
Speaker 1: to help you with this. I've said it already, which

1029
01:03:33,000 --> 01:03:34,960
Speaker 1: is that I think you have a self awareness of

1030
01:03:34,960 --> 01:03:38,520
Speaker 1: this issue enough that I do believe that from from

1031
01:03:38,560 --> 01:03:42,240
Speaker 1: what I understand of you, I believe in your ability

1032
01:03:42,840 --> 01:03:47,880
Speaker 1: to go from that foundation of awareness to making steps

1033
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:53,480
Speaker 1: to fix your problems. I hope that's worth something. Is

1034
01:03:53,520 --> 01:03:55,760
Speaker 1: there anything else before we go that you want to

1035
01:03:55,800 --> 01:03:59,720
Speaker 1: say or to the people of the computer or to me,

1036
01:04:00,080 --> 01:04:00,760
Speaker 1: or about any of this.

1037
01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:07,520
Speaker 7: Uh, what you do is really cool.

1038
01:04:08,480 --> 01:04:09,000
Speaker 1: Thanks man.

1039
01:04:09,280 --> 01:04:16,000
Speaker 7: Yeah wish I wish I could do the same, But yeah.

1040
01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:18,640
Speaker 1: You'll find your thing. Man, You're still very young, and

1041
01:04:19,440 --> 01:04:25,680
Speaker 1: I still feel as though you know you're sitting on

1042
01:04:25,760 --> 01:04:36,440
Speaker 1: a good foundation to be better in the future. Right,

1043
01:04:36,440 --> 01:04:41,360
Speaker 1: I'll talk to you soon, Charles, Thank you man. All right, man,

1044
01:04:41,400 --> 01:04:44,680
Speaker 1: I really started this just like a fucking screwing around

1045
01:04:44,720 --> 01:04:46,800
Speaker 1: and a Gecko costume on Reddit, and now I like,

1046
01:04:46,920 --> 01:04:51,160
Speaker 1: really am sitting here pretending to be a therapist. I

1047
01:04:51,200 --> 01:04:52,760
Speaker 1: just noticed that at the end of that twenty minutes,

1048
01:04:52,800 --> 01:04:57,680
Speaker 1: I was like, damn, I really like out here pretending

1049
01:04:57,680 --> 01:05:01,000
Speaker 1: to be a therapist and getting into it. I enjoyed

1050
01:05:01,040 --> 01:05:03,640
Speaker 1: having that conversation with Charles, and I did want to

1051
01:05:03,640 --> 01:05:08,240
Speaker 1: help him in that moment. That was a tough thing

1052
01:05:12,440 --> 01:05:17,160
Speaker 1: because the whole I remember what I said at the

1053
01:05:17,240 --> 01:05:21,240
Speaker 1: very beginning, where he was like, I'm an asshole, and

1054
01:05:21,280 --> 01:05:26,800
Speaker 1: it's like I don't like that. However, however true it

1055
01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:35,880
Speaker 1: is of something like that. It's like, well, how do

1056
01:05:35,960 --> 01:05:43,360
Speaker 1: we optimize something for a person to get better and

1057
01:05:43,400 --> 01:05:51,640
Speaker 1: be a productive member of society for themselves? And I

1058
01:05:51,680 --> 01:05:57,479
Speaker 1: think to forego the labeling and just go listen. Can't

1059
01:05:57,520 --> 01:06:05,040
Speaker 1: change the past, but can work towards something more productive

1060
01:06:05,040 --> 01:06:10,040
Speaker 1: for the future. I think pretty much everyone can do that,

1061
01:06:10,960 --> 01:06:17,520
Speaker 1: and I'm hoping that Charles finds his laying see here

1062
01:06:17,520 --> 01:06:20,720
Speaker 1: I am. I'm fucking around trying to say therapist shit

1063
01:06:21,640 --> 01:06:27,160
Speaker 1: in this gecko costume. I'm doing the best I can, Folks,

1064
01:06:27,160 --> 01:06:31,520
Speaker 1: I'm trying. Neverly goes on the line taking your phone

1065
01:06:31,560 --> 01:06:32,480
Speaker 1: calls every night.

1066
01:06:32,880 --> 01:06:34,760
Speaker 5: Never Deacon goes doing to ride.

1067
01:06:34,840 --> 01:06:37,040
Speaker 1: Who's teaching you aloud in your life?

1068
01:06:37,400 --> 01:06:39,600
Speaker 5: But he's not really an expert.