1 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties, 2 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big 3 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:16,880 Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they 4 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:26,440 Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show. 5 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, old listeners, wherever 6 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:34,400 Speaker 1: you are in the world. Thank you for joining us. 7 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:37,960 Speaker 1: Before we get into it, I have a really special, 8 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:42,199 Speaker 1: amazing announcement something that has been in the works for 9 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:47,559 Speaker 1: some time. We have officially launched a Patreon for the 10 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 1: Psychology of Your Twenties. If you want some bonus content, 11 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,560 Speaker 1: if you want to see behind the scenes, if you 12 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 1: want the episode transcripts, access to the studies that I 13 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 1: use for these episodes, video content, and so much more, 14 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:08,440 Speaker 1: it would be amazing if you would join our Patreon 15 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:12,000 Speaker 1: and follow along for the ride. A lot of work 16 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 1: and a lot of energy goes into this podcast. It 17 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:19,400 Speaker 1: is just me on this microphone writing the scripts, putting 18 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:23,200 Speaker 1: out the episodes every week, and yeah, I think there's 19 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 1: a lot of work that goes into it that's quite unseen. 20 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:29,120 Speaker 1: So I kind of wanted to let you guys peek 21 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 1: behind the scenes and also offer you guys a chance 22 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:36,960 Speaker 1: to get more personal episodes, to be able to ask questions, 23 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 1: vote on what episodes you want to hear next, and 24 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 1: just build the community. Just build the community of loyal listeners, 25 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:46,320 Speaker 1: the people who message me and come back a week 26 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:49,320 Speaker 1: after week to listen. So there will be a link 27 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:53,080 Speaker 1: in the description of this episode. It's as cheap as 28 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:55,360 Speaker 1: like a dollar a month, but that really does go 29 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:57,880 Speaker 1: a long way when a lot of people join in, 30 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:00,800 Speaker 1: and it helps support me and it helps me keep 31 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 1: making quality content. So I would really appreciate if you 32 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 1: at least checked it out. And as always, I am 33 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:11,120 Speaker 1: so grateful for the support that you guys show me 34 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:14,120 Speaker 1: week in, week out. So I'm just excited for this 35 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:18,000 Speaker 1: next chapter. But back to what we are here for today, 36 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:21,520 Speaker 1: what we're talking about on today's episode, we're going to 37 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:25,600 Speaker 1: discuss how to get ourselves out of a rut, that 38 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,720 Speaker 1: kind of terrible pit we all find ourselves in from 39 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 1: time to time at various points in our lives. We're 40 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,920 Speaker 1: officially just over halfway through the year, and maybe, like me, 41 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:40,360 Speaker 1: your New Year's resolutions have kind of faded into the 42 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 1: background and you're just going through the motions of living 43 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:47,359 Speaker 1: watching the same TV shows thinking the same thoughts, seeing 44 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:52,560 Speaker 1: the same two people, and feeling maybe a bit uninspired. 45 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:56,600 Speaker 1: Time is kind of passing around us, and we may 46 00:02:56,639 --> 00:03:01,320 Speaker 1: not particularly feel like we're taking in of it. I've 47 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:03,480 Speaker 1: been there. In fact, I think that I am there 48 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:07,200 Speaker 1: right now, and that's quite unusual for me. These past 49 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:10,320 Speaker 1: few weeks, I've been sleeping in, I've been struggling to 50 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:14,639 Speaker 1: really articulate my thoughts. The world has just felt really 51 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:19,880 Speaker 1: really bland and tired and cold. And I have this 52 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,440 Speaker 1: massive cry to my mom about this the other day, 53 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:26,520 Speaker 1: and I just felt so guilty that despite all the 54 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:29,640 Speaker 1: freedom that my job permits and the fact that I 55 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:32,800 Speaker 1: genuinely get to do what I love every day, I 56 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 1: couldn't kind of shake the feeling of feeling really stagnant. 57 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 1: And that feeling is so uncomfortable for me. Normally, I'm 58 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:42,320 Speaker 1: not someone who can sit still or likes to be 59 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 1: inactive or passive in my life. And ironically, I think 60 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:51,120 Speaker 1: thinking about that pattern that I've gotten into really pushed 61 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 1: me to write this episode and actually kind of pulled 62 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:57,280 Speaker 1: me back into myself a little bit. A rut is 63 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:01,400 Speaker 1: by no means a scientific tour, but it's a pretty 64 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:05,320 Speaker 1: common phrase to describe, I think a universal experience. It's 65 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:10,120 Speaker 1: essentially a period of life where we feel frozen in 66 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:14,680 Speaker 1: the motions of everyday living. Everything feels exactly the same, 67 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:20,000 Speaker 1: life feels rather bland. Maybe you're struggling to feel creative 68 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:23,520 Speaker 1: or to feel fulfilled. For me, a big sign that 69 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:26,159 Speaker 1: I'm in a rut is when I can't really think 70 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 1: of anything interesting in my life, either about the world 71 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:34,120 Speaker 1: around me or even myself. You can be in a 72 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:37,920 Speaker 1: general rut, which is kind of like an overarching sense 73 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 1: that all areas of your life feel kind of bland, 74 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:46,799 Speaker 1: but also specifically with a romantic partner, academically, with your career, 75 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:51,360 Speaker 1: or even around your hobbies or creative pursuits. In psychology, 76 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 1: we tend to have a different name for it. It's 77 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 1: called dysthemia, which is essentially a milder form of depression, 78 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:04,200 Speaker 1: also known as person assistant depressive disorder. There's Symptoms of 79 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:07,719 Speaker 1: this disorder typically come and go for a number of years, 80 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:11,920 Speaker 1: and they're a lot less severe than a major depressive disorder, 81 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:16,880 Speaker 1: but they share a lot of commonalities to our colloquial 82 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 1: understanding of what a rut is emptiness, loss of interest, tiredness, 83 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:26,479 Speaker 1: like the color has somewhat been like drained out of 84 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:29,839 Speaker 1: the world. It's a really hard place to be in. 85 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,159 Speaker 1: But the good news is that if you're feeling a 86 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:36,480 Speaker 1: bit stuck at the moment, we are going to break 87 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:41,800 Speaker 1: down exactly why that may be, and more importantly, how 88 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:45,120 Speaker 1: to break the cycle. None of us like feeling disappointed 89 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,080 Speaker 1: in our lives or unhappy, and I think when we 90 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:52,520 Speaker 1: get into this state, our sense of starkness becomes very 91 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:56,600 Speaker 1: cyclical and difficult to break out of. So we're going 92 00:05:56,640 --> 00:06:00,640 Speaker 1: to dive into six tips backed by some of my 93 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 1: favorite psychology and theories, as to how we can get 94 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:10,080 Speaker 1: back to our wonderful, lively, happy selves and kind of 95 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:13,599 Speaker 1: take action on where we want to go. We're also 96 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:17,800 Speaker 1: going to discuss some of the research behind our shift 97 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,360 Speaker 1: to full time work can really trigger a rut, some 98 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:24,320 Speaker 1: of the origins and causes, and of course, as always, 99 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:29,479 Speaker 1: the significance for our twenties. I feel like this episode 100 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 1: is very important. It taught me a lot. I'm definitely 101 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:36,120 Speaker 1: in this stage, as I'm sure many of us are, so. 102 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:40,080 Speaker 1: Without further ado, let's get into all the science and 103 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:49,479 Speaker 1: the psychology about how you can get out of a rut. Okay, 104 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,520 Speaker 1: so we already broke down some of the science that 105 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:54,800 Speaker 1: you may be in a rut, but I want to 106 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:58,400 Speaker 1: discuss more of what this term actually means for our 107 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 1: psychology and our overall mental health and emotional wellbeing. From 108 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:09,000 Speaker 1: a clinical perspective, a rout is essentially a mental downward 109 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:13,240 Speaker 1: spiral caused by either an environmental or an internal shift 110 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 1: or event where we encounter these increasingly negative thoughts about ourselves, 111 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:25,160 Speaker 1: about our potential, our future, and that leads to an 112 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:28,920 Speaker 1: avoidance of the behaviors and actions that we know will 113 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:35,240 Speaker 1: actually make us feel better. It's not so much self sabotage, 114 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:39,840 Speaker 1: but almost this unconscious blindness to the way forward or 115 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:44,440 Speaker 1: a sense of very deep apathy around our lives. Part 116 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:48,280 Speaker 1: of us acknowledges that we aren't particularly happy, that's why 117 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:51,200 Speaker 1: you're listening to this episode, but the other part of 118 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:54,680 Speaker 1: our minds is kind of still a bit lost in 119 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 1: this mental maze around what to actually do. Here's what 120 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:03,200 Speaker 1: that mat look like in our lives. So, for example, 121 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 1: maybe not being able to remember the last time you 122 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:12,800 Speaker 1: were truly excited about something, Feeling like the days or 123 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:16,360 Speaker 1: the months kind of blur together. Getting to the end 124 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,840 Speaker 1: of the day or the end of the week, and 125 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:22,119 Speaker 1: having no energy to socialize or to do something fun, 126 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:25,560 Speaker 1: just wanting to stay in bed, feeling an urge to 127 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:32,160 Speaker 1: break away from your life, maybe fantasizing about moving cities, 128 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:37,280 Speaker 1: about dropping everything and creating an entirely new identity and life. 129 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:42,840 Speaker 1: I think deeper than that is this urge to drastically 130 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:46,679 Speaker 1: change something in your life. This is so strange and random, 131 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:49,680 Speaker 1: but last week, when I was really in this phase, 132 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:53,680 Speaker 1: I was convinced that I should shave all my hair off. 133 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,280 Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I'm going to do it. And 134 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,720 Speaker 1: that makes a lot of psychological sense, because when we 135 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:02,360 Speaker 1: feel stuff or we don't feel in control, we want 136 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:06,080 Speaker 1: to counteract that by doing something that proves that we are, 137 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:09,800 Speaker 1: that we do have agency, and that kind of shocks 138 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:13,120 Speaker 1: the system in a way. And one of the final signs, 139 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:17,000 Speaker 1: real life signs, is putting off things like your chores 140 00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:22,960 Speaker 1: or even basic hygiene, feeling an intense fatigue or disinterest 141 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:26,160 Speaker 1: in the things that used to make you happy. And 142 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 1: we can really see the parallels with persistent depressive disorder 143 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:35,080 Speaker 1: in some of these symptoms. It's a super unpleasant experience 144 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:40,360 Speaker 1: and often by the time that we actually recognize what's happening, 145 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:43,080 Speaker 1: or we can give a word to our experience. It's 146 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:46,319 Speaker 1: usually been simmering or going on for a few weeks 147 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:48,720 Speaker 1: or even a few months, So I kind of want 148 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,760 Speaker 1: to examine the origins and the causes of a rut 149 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:55,840 Speaker 1: in this next little section. I also think the main 150 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 1: thing to really talk about here that perhaps I haven't 151 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:02,160 Speaker 1: spoken about is how common it is in our twenties, 152 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:06,880 Speaker 1: perhaps more than we maybe recognize for a number of reasons. 153 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:12,200 Speaker 1: The biggest one is this shift into adulthood and the 154 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:19,040 Speaker 1: number of whole new challenges and responsibilities and commitments that 155 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:22,680 Speaker 1: are brought on by this stage. The biggest one I've 156 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:25,840 Speaker 1: seen in my own life and the lives of those 157 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:30,560 Speaker 1: around me is work. The transition from the freedom of 158 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:34,960 Speaker 1: our teenage years or even university, when everything was really 159 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:39,520 Speaker 1: flexible and free, to full time work and structured routine 160 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,640 Speaker 1: is a huge adjustment that we don't speak about enough. 161 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:47,640 Speaker 1: There was this really fascinating study conducted, I think in 162 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:52,120 Speaker 1: twenty nineteen in Norway, of all places, and it found 163 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:56,559 Speaker 1: that in the three years between university and the start 164 00:10:56,640 --> 00:11:00,439 Speaker 1: of our professional lives, young adults like us in early 165 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:07,240 Speaker 1: twenties experienced this increased level of psychological distress and with 166 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:11,079 Speaker 1: that poor coping skills and a greater sense of apathy 167 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:15,280 Speaker 1: towards their lives. This came down to a few factors, 168 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:20,800 Speaker 1: including long working hours resulting in reduced free time, low 169 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:27,040 Speaker 1: job control, but also an effort reward in balance, whereby 170 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:33,600 Speaker 1: we're working these long hours for these very global, depersonalized 171 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:39,280 Speaker 1: goals rather than working towards bettering ourselves through education and 172 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 1: leisure and hobbies. It's also the existential dread of realizing 173 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:47,400 Speaker 1: that this way of living, this monotonous pattern of waking 174 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:50,480 Speaker 1: up for work, working inside an office for eight hours, 175 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:54,760 Speaker 1: and going home exhausted, only to have to do it 176 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:58,720 Speaker 1: all over again, that may in fact be our future. 177 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:04,760 Speaker 1: So we, you know, subsequently have this desire to escape, 178 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:09,080 Speaker 1: but also a bit of an emotional and cognitive shutdown 179 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:12,240 Speaker 1: that we associate with being in a rut. It also 180 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:16,840 Speaker 1: explains why I think typical rat behavior often involves watching 181 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:21,000 Speaker 1: a lot of TV endless TikTok scrolling, not because we 182 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,600 Speaker 1: don't have the energy to do other things, but also 183 00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:29,880 Speaker 1: because of what psychologists call the anxiety distraction feedback loop. 184 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 1: When we feel uncomfortable feelings like anxiety, but also a 185 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:39,160 Speaker 1: sense of hopelessness. We use things like TV or something 186 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:42,720 Speaker 1: that gives us an easy dopamine hit to protect us 187 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:48,600 Speaker 1: from these feelings. That distraction may be temporarily very soothing, 188 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:52,360 Speaker 1: but it often exacerbates our sense of stuckness and our 189 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:56,280 Speaker 1: lack of motivation. So if you've recently started full time 190 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:59,400 Speaker 1: work or maybe a new job, that may be an 191 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:03,000 Speaker 1: explanation and also shows that you are not alone in 192 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:07,840 Speaker 1: this experience. There are other pretty important causes or triggers 193 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:13,280 Speaker 1: as well. Firstly, experiencing a setback or a failure. Following 194 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:19,200 Speaker 1: this negative experience, our brains often respond by isolating or 195 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:22,920 Speaker 1: pulling back. Maybe a better word for it is hibernating, 196 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:25,920 Speaker 1: and we do this as a way to protect our 197 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:30,800 Speaker 1: self esteem from further damage or rejection. What this results 198 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:36,560 Speaker 1: in is less new experiences, less enjoyable behaviors, or less 199 00:13:36,679 --> 00:13:41,400 Speaker 1: risk taking as well, and that subsequently actually worsens rather 200 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:46,880 Speaker 1: than improves our mental state. Our brains need new experiences 201 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:49,880 Speaker 1: and stimuli to keep it active. So there is this 202 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:53,720 Speaker 1: amazing psychologist who you may have heard about before. Her 203 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:57,720 Speaker 1: name is doctor Lori Santos. She teaches the course The 204 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:01,000 Speaker 1: Psychology of a Good Life at Yale, and she found 205 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:05,839 Speaker 1: that there is a connection between novelty, newness, and motivation. 206 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:10,960 Speaker 1: Novelty and newness in our world in our experiences are 207 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:15,280 Speaker 1: incredibly rewarding. But when our ego is injured, when we 208 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:19,960 Speaker 1: have experienced a setback, not only do we see a 209 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:24,320 Speaker 1: downturn in our overall mood and self confidence, but also 210 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:28,400 Speaker 1: in our receptiveness to new experiences, to seeing friends, to 211 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:33,440 Speaker 1: going out, to finding vibrancy in life, and the result 212 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:36,200 Speaker 1: of that is getting stuck in this rat like state. 213 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:39,960 Speaker 1: We're going to kind of talk about that neurological relationship 214 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,200 Speaker 1: a bit more later on, because the same reasons we 215 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:46,920 Speaker 1: find ourselves in this cycle can kind of also be 216 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:50,560 Speaker 1: leveraged to get us out of it. There's another important 217 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:54,160 Speaker 1: role that our neurons play in this as well, routine. 218 00:14:55,000 --> 00:15:00,640 Speaker 1: So routines are often really lauded as this like amazing concept, 219 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:05,040 Speaker 1: an amazing way to structure our lives, and I think 220 00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 1: they can be really comforting and safe, but when they 221 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:15,000 Speaker 1: become too stiff and too inflexible, they can become quite 222 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:20,520 Speaker 1: boring and stifling. Because our brains repeatedly use the exact 223 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:24,360 Speaker 1: same neural pathways and they're not being challenged. So this 224 00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:27,840 Speaker 1: creates what we call a mental pattern, and that means 225 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:30,800 Speaker 1: that we no longer really have to focus on our 226 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:34,960 Speaker 1: lives because we're using the same neural pathways day in 227 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:38,360 Speaker 1: and day out. You know, have you ever had those 228 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:43,280 Speaker 1: moments where you're driving home from work and then suddenly 229 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,920 Speaker 1: you're like at your front door and you have absolutely 230 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:51,000 Speaker 1: no recollection of your drive home. It's like someone else 231 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:54,760 Speaker 1: kind of took over the wheel. That experience is due 232 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:58,320 Speaker 1: to this mental pattern, and when we fail to challenge 233 00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:02,480 Speaker 1: that pattern, we become more and more stuck, and our 234 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:08,040 Speaker 1: brains are less likely to seek new experiences, Hence this 235 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:12,400 Speaker 1: rut like feeling. Hence this sense of feeling very numb 236 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:15,160 Speaker 1: to the world because you're not actually giving your brain 237 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:21,040 Speaker 1: anything new to be excited about. Psychologically, chronic stress is 238 00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:24,880 Speaker 1: also a massive contributor. I think we need to be 239 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:28,840 Speaker 1: especially gentle with ourselves at the moment. The last four 240 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:32,280 Speaker 1: years have been a bit of a dumpster fire, and 241 00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:35,320 Speaker 1: for those of us in our twenties, that like dumpster 242 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,720 Speaker 1: fire was some of the first years of our adult lives. 243 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:43,280 Speaker 1: You know, a global pandemic, a forthcoming recession, war, and 244 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:47,880 Speaker 1: political and social chaos, and combined with that, we've each 245 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,840 Speaker 1: gone through the motions of our own lives. We have 246 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:55,680 Speaker 1: faced setbacks, we have faced major life transitions, and these 247 00:16:55,720 --> 00:17:01,280 Speaker 1: global and individual events have what we call a humulative effect, 248 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:06,240 Speaker 1: and we can eventually face all of the psychological consequences 249 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:10,480 Speaker 1: of those events at once. Our brain and body will 250 00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:14,800 Speaker 1: literally shut us down to protect us. And although it's 251 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:17,760 Speaker 1: trying to help, it's trying to do it's right, we 252 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:21,639 Speaker 1: get this feeling of stagnation. It can even increase, you know, 253 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:25,520 Speaker 1: our likelihood of developing depression, which we know has a 254 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:28,440 Speaker 1: lot of links with this kind of rut like state, 255 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:31,360 Speaker 1: with being in a rut. I think the worst thing 256 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:36,320 Speaker 1: that we can do in these moments is nothing, and 257 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,439 Speaker 1: yet that's all we really want to do. That's the 258 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:43,200 Speaker 1: catch twenty two of this situation. But if we have been, 259 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:47,120 Speaker 1: you know, kind of self soothing with low effort activities, 260 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:51,640 Speaker 1: if we've been allowing failure to isolate us and leave 261 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:55,280 Speaker 1: us uninspired, if we got stuck in the momentum of 262 00:17:55,359 --> 00:17:59,800 Speaker 1: doing nothing, we're actually just going to exacerbate all of 263 00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:03,639 Speaker 1: the negativity associated with this state. So what I really 264 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:08,080 Speaker 1: want to discuss is the tangible actions that we can 265 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:11,280 Speaker 1: take to break the cycle. If you were to look 266 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:13,360 Speaker 1: this up online, I think a lot of articles will 267 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:16,520 Speaker 1: tell you to meditate, they would tell you to engage 268 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:20,119 Speaker 1: in self care. But I want to offer something a 269 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:24,840 Speaker 1: bit more specific and psychological, but also some things that 270 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:28,400 Speaker 1: have really worked in my own experience. I think by 271 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:32,520 Speaker 1: listening to this episode, you're kind of already one step closer, 272 00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:36,640 Speaker 1: So I really want to give you some further kind 273 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:40,880 Speaker 1: of strategies and advice and some of the research around 274 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:43,879 Speaker 1: what we can do to break out of this state. 275 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,959 Speaker 1: So all of that and more in just a second. 276 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,680 Speaker 1: To break out of this cycle, you're going to need 277 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:58,160 Speaker 1: to take action. The truth is, I think as we mature, 278 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:01,280 Speaker 1: we realize that you're kind of the only one who 279 00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:04,879 Speaker 1: can really help yourself. That's not to say reject the 280 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:08,600 Speaker 1: health of family and friends, but recognize that at the 281 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:11,080 Speaker 1: center of any change you want to make in your 282 00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:15,040 Speaker 1: life is you. So we're going to talk through six 283 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:19,080 Speaker 1: steps that you can personally instigate to break out of 284 00:19:19,119 --> 00:19:22,240 Speaker 1: your rut. Whether that takes a few days or a 285 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:26,080 Speaker 1: few weeks, it's definitely not forever. And I think enlisting 286 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:29,280 Speaker 1: a good number of strategies and having a sense of 287 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:33,440 Speaker 1: the path forward is super helpful. So my first tip 288 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:36,080 Speaker 1: is to break up the every day with the new. 289 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:41,440 Speaker 1: We discuss this before, but neurologically, when we fall into 290 00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:45,400 Speaker 1: a routine, this can both enable our life and create structure. 291 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:49,400 Speaker 1: But if those habits are too constraining, it can really 292 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:54,320 Speaker 1: be quite suffocating, and it can suffocate our space for impulsivity, 293 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:58,040 Speaker 1: which at its core is the need for new experiences. 294 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:02,840 Speaker 1: Countless study to have shown this, including one in which 295 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:07,199 Speaker 1: they found that when people displayed greater exploration or what 296 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:11,240 Speaker 1: they called roaming behavior, when they allowed themselves time to 297 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:15,960 Speaker 1: be spontaneous to visit new places, they felt happier, They 298 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:21,199 Speaker 1: felt more motivated. The experience of novelty or going to 299 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:25,640 Speaker 1: places you haven't been before, actually seemed to have quite 300 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:29,800 Speaker 1: a large association in this study with someone's overall sense 301 00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:33,400 Speaker 1: of satisfaction. And it's not just our happiness, it's not 302 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:37,719 Speaker 1: just our life satisfaction, but also our resilience and even 303 00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:42,800 Speaker 1: our perception of time. One of those big indicators of 304 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:47,080 Speaker 1: being in a rut is that time just seems to 305 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:51,840 Speaker 1: pass by quite quickly and you have no real memory 306 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:54,840 Speaker 1: of what you did during those hours or those days. 307 00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:59,320 Speaker 1: So this neuroscientist, his name is I think doctor David 308 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:03,720 Speaker 1: to David Egleman, and he's focused much of his research 309 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:08,680 Speaker 1: on time perception, and he found that novel experiences they 310 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:13,359 Speaker 1: make time pass more slowly, so in effect, this actually 311 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:17,159 Speaker 1: makes your life feel longer. I think that's something that 312 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,480 Speaker 1: we all kind of want. We all want more time. 313 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:22,800 Speaker 1: So what I want you to do is to make 314 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:26,320 Speaker 1: space in your life two nights a week to do 315 00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:31,600 Speaker 1: something impulsive and spontaneous. And also, I think a caveat 316 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:34,399 Speaker 1: here is not something in front of a screen, and 317 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:39,080 Speaker 1: preferably not something involving alcohol, because we know that alcohol 318 00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:42,679 Speaker 1: not only dims our emotions, but also impacts how we 319 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:47,960 Speaker 1: consolidate memories. So preferably do something childish, Do something silly 320 00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:51,480 Speaker 1: and fun and new. Me and my house may actually 321 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:55,440 Speaker 1: have this list called the antidepression fun List, and we 322 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,399 Speaker 1: add like all of these random activities to it and 323 00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,680 Speaker 1: pick something from the to do like once a week 324 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,560 Speaker 1: or once a fortnight. Here, I'm gonna look at the list. 325 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,280 Speaker 1: Here are some of the ideas that we had. So 326 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,159 Speaker 1: mini golf we actually did that the other day. It 327 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:12,720 Speaker 1: sounds kind of stupid, but it's actually so much fun. 328 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,080 Speaker 1: You can go ice skating, go and do a pottery class, 329 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:20,480 Speaker 1: a pilates class, go speed dating, go to a destruction room. 330 00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:23,720 Speaker 1: Basically anything that you would do at like a twelve 331 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,159 Speaker 1: year old's birthday party, except for the speed dating that 332 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,840 Speaker 1: would be weird. You should try and do on like 333 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,760 Speaker 1: a random Wednesday night. Not only does it kind of 334 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:35,280 Speaker 1: I think, encourage you to play, which is just a 335 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:39,160 Speaker 1: fantastic thing to practice in itself, but these events are 336 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:43,320 Speaker 1: like a circuit breaker for your daily routine, and it 337 00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:47,359 Speaker 1: also activates parts of your brain that may have been 338 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:52,600 Speaker 1: kind of numbed by daily repetitive activities. This links really 339 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:55,639 Speaker 1: nicely to my next tip, which is to utilize the 340 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:59,200 Speaker 1: healing power of nature. We have been talking about this 341 00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:02,359 Speaker 1: a lot on the podcast recently, but I stand by 342 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:07,360 Speaker 1: it so so firmly that being outdoors, even just getting 343 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:11,680 Speaker 1: thirty minutes of sun or feeling the rain on your face, 344 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:15,520 Speaker 1: it offers like a factory reset for your brain and 345 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:18,440 Speaker 1: your body when you're in a rut. The science also 346 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:23,240 Speaker 1: backs this up. Being in nature increases dopamine and serotonin 347 00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:28,000 Speaker 1: in our brains chemicals that are associated with an improved 348 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:32,680 Speaker 1: sense of satisfaction and motivation. And that motivation is critical 349 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:36,560 Speaker 1: because it's something that we're often missing when we're in 350 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:40,120 Speaker 1: a rut. Like I said, it's that cycle of knowing 351 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,960 Speaker 1: that you need to make a change, but having very 352 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:47,000 Speaker 1: little energy or inspiration to actually do it. But we 353 00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:51,280 Speaker 1: can use nature as a way to provide that energy externally. 354 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:57,760 Speaker 1: From an evolutionary perspective, our brains have developed to explore 355 00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:03,240 Speaker 1: our surroundings and to receive various stimuli from our environment. 356 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:06,119 Speaker 1: We were meant to be strategic, we were meant to 357 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,800 Speaker 1: problem solve, and also just simply to be outdoors. But 358 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:15,160 Speaker 1: in a modern, industrialized, fast paced society, we have become 359 00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:20,520 Speaker 1: more and more detached from that innate need, and that 360 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:26,040 Speaker 1: level of detachment really disrupts our ability to connect with ourselves. 361 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:30,240 Speaker 1: Think about the last time you are actually out in nature, 362 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:35,439 Speaker 1: experiencing or enjoying the simple sounds of birds and running 363 00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:38,840 Speaker 1: water and the wind in the trees, all those beautiful things. 364 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:41,840 Speaker 1: If you can't remember the last time you did that, 365 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:47,200 Speaker 1: it may be worth contemplating whether you need to reprioritize 366 00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:50,920 Speaker 1: what's going on in your life to really ground yourself. 367 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:54,320 Speaker 1: Grounding is actually also a really valuable exercise now that 368 00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:58,240 Speaker 1: I think about it. In psychology, grounding is this therapeutic 369 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:02,840 Speaker 1: technique I guess, maybe a practice where you place your 370 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:07,040 Speaker 1: bare feet on the earth and you use the natural 371 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:11,160 Speaker 1: electrical charge from the ground to kind of stabilize you 372 00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:14,520 Speaker 1: and bring you back to the present moment. This may 373 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:18,440 Speaker 1: sound weird if you've only, you know, kind of been 374 00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:24,359 Speaker 1: exposed to Western science and psychology, but many, many countless 375 00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:29,840 Speaker 1: indigenous societies across the world have historically used a similar 376 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:35,320 Speaker 1: practice to grounding to really treat various ailments, including mental 377 00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,679 Speaker 1: health and mental ailments as well. I would say, just 378 00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:40,720 Speaker 1: give it a go. It can't hurt, and then you 379 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:44,800 Speaker 1: can kind of tick two of these practices off your list. 380 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:49,280 Speaker 1: In one trying something new and getting out in nature. 381 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:53,200 Speaker 1: The next two strategies I would say is somewhat linked, 382 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:56,920 Speaker 1: but they kind of differ in their timelines. Number three 383 00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:01,320 Speaker 1: is to create one weekly challenge for yourself, and number 384 00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:05,720 Speaker 1: four is to set up small goals and intentions. Let's 385 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:10,040 Speaker 1: talk about tip three first. We know that when we're 386 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:14,320 Speaker 1: in a rut, it's hard to feel excited about anything. 387 00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:18,359 Speaker 1: You kind of fantasize about the future without actually doing 388 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:21,080 Speaker 1: anything about it. You don't really have a sense of 389 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:24,760 Speaker 1: purpose As a result, I think we don't feel any 390 00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:28,240 Speaker 1: need to push ourselves beyond our comfort zone or to 391 00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:32,280 Speaker 1: really do anything at all in our lives. That is 392 00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:35,439 Speaker 1: the trap set by being in a rut. Once you 393 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:39,200 Speaker 1: fall into it, it's hard to escape because the very 394 00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,720 Speaker 1: things that you could be doing to make yourself feel 395 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:45,960 Speaker 1: better are the very things that you feel removed from. 396 00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:49,080 Speaker 1: This is why the weekly challenge comes in. It doesn't 397 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:53,720 Speaker 1: have to be massive, it can be super small, tiny. 398 00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:57,840 Speaker 1: Just focus on one tangible thing that you can do 399 00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:01,439 Speaker 1: to make your life better each week, like leaving the 400 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:05,520 Speaker 1: house once a day, walking to work, journaling each night, 401 00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:08,359 Speaker 1: or reading a chapter of a book each night before 402 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:12,480 Speaker 1: bed instead of watching TV. These things are manageable, they 403 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:15,879 Speaker 1: are small, they're easy to implement. But by setting a 404 00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:21,000 Speaker 1: weekly challenge and fulfilling it and keeping your commitment to yourself, 405 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:24,960 Speaker 1: we really build confidence in our own abilities, but also 406 00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:28,280 Speaker 1: this sense of progress that we may be lacking. It 407 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:31,760 Speaker 1: also kind of breaks us away from our normal behavior, 408 00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:35,440 Speaker 1: that thing that we can become very quickly stuck in 409 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,199 Speaker 1: and gives us a sense of change gives us a 410 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:42,520 Speaker 1: sense that our lives are not concrete. They're flowing, they're changing, 411 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:46,439 Speaker 1: they're different week by week. This also brings me to 412 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:50,160 Speaker 1: the next tip, which is to set up small goals 413 00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:53,680 Speaker 1: and intentions for yourself that give you something to look 414 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:58,320 Speaker 1: forward to, but also to strive towards. The weekly challenge 415 00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:02,160 Speaker 1: is obviously going to change each week, but the short 416 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:05,240 Speaker 1: term goals are going to require a bit more effort, 417 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:08,200 Speaker 1: but I think with that comes a bit more reward. 418 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:12,119 Speaker 1: Often one of the reasons we find ourselves stuck in 419 00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:15,840 Speaker 1: a rut is because of all or nothing thinking around 420 00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,840 Speaker 1: what we want to achieve and the direction of our lives, 421 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 1: particularly in our twenties. We talk about the quarter life 422 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:28,280 Speaker 1: crisis quite a bit on this show, but really our 423 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:32,680 Speaker 1: twenties are such as season of feeling lost and stuck, 424 00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:35,960 Speaker 1: and I think the only thing worse than doing something 425 00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:40,720 Speaker 1: and maybe failing, is doing nothing at all. We also 426 00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:43,880 Speaker 1: have this tendency, I think, like I said, to engage 427 00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:46,560 Speaker 1: in all or nothing thinking, where we think the only 428 00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:51,480 Speaker 1: option is success or failure, and we create these huge, 429 00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:56,680 Speaker 1: lofty ambitions and when we face zetbacks, when we face struggles, 430 00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:01,120 Speaker 1: we kind of give up because we're thinking looking only 431 00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:05,360 Speaker 1: about the end goal. And we also know from earlier 432 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:10,840 Speaker 1: research that failure increases these rut like feelings as well. 433 00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:15,240 Speaker 1: So by breaking things down into smaller goals rather than 434 00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:19,120 Speaker 1: these huge, lofty ambitions that are a lot easier to 435 00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:23,760 Speaker 1: fail at, we're better able to be consistent but also 436 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:27,240 Speaker 1: stay motivated. And that also helps in getting us out 437 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:31,520 Speaker 1: of this place of stagnation because we provide ourselves with 438 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:36,720 Speaker 1: the external motivation of something to focus on, which takes 439 00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:39,280 Speaker 1: us out of our minds and out of our self 440 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:43,400 Speaker 1: pity into a space where we feel ready to take action. 441 00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:47,240 Speaker 1: You don't need to run a marathon tomorrow, but maybe 442 00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:49,720 Speaker 1: sign up for a five k in three months. That 443 00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:53,479 Speaker 1: gives you enough time looking forward to something, giving you 444 00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:55,880 Speaker 1: a sense of the future, giving you a sense of purpose. 445 00:29:56,800 --> 00:30:00,360 Speaker 1: Those things are all really valuable in counter our doing 446 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:06,400 Speaker 1: this negative loop. Let's also talk about setting intentions. I 447 00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:10,840 Speaker 1: started setting monthly intentions I think like a few months back, 448 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:14,760 Speaker 1: maybe six months ago. And it doesn't mean that I 449 00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:19,640 Speaker 1: don't still experience temporary low moments and starkness, but when 450 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:22,680 Speaker 1: I am in those moments, it does give me something 451 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:26,959 Speaker 1: to kind of center myself. It's really simple. It's super simple. 452 00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:31,240 Speaker 1: It's like a list like process. What I want to 453 00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:35,360 Speaker 1: ask you is, what are four things that you can 454 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,400 Speaker 1: do in the next month that you'll be proud you 455 00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:41,600 Speaker 1: did in four weeks time? How do you want your 456 00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:45,560 Speaker 1: life to move forward in the next month? And write 457 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,480 Speaker 1: them down somewhere permanent. I like to put them above 458 00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:51,760 Speaker 1: my desk so that I get that reminder. You can 459 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:53,960 Speaker 1: also put it as an alert on your phone. You 460 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:57,040 Speaker 1: can set them as your alarm text. In the words 461 00:30:57,040 --> 00:31:00,960 Speaker 1: of this really amazing mindfulness coach in NSIE, setting is 462 00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:05,600 Speaker 1: empowering because instead of feeling like a victim of circumstance, 463 00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:11,280 Speaker 1: you become the conscious creator of your life. And that's 464 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:15,000 Speaker 1: something we often feel separated from. The thoughts you have 465 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:18,960 Speaker 1: become your actions, and the thoughts you have about your 466 00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:24,640 Speaker 1: life become your life. So starting internally with that mindset shift, 467 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:29,480 Speaker 1: even the simple action of just writing down four things 468 00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:34,600 Speaker 1: that you can do is super powerful. My next tip 469 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:38,920 Speaker 1: is definitely a personal favorite, and it's one that not 470 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:42,600 Speaker 1: many people I've seen have spoken about. It has to 471 00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:47,920 Speaker 1: do with creativity. You need to do something creative, even 472 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:50,640 Speaker 1: if you're terrible at it. Even if you suck. Just 473 00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:54,400 Speaker 1: make something anything. And here's why that's important when you're 474 00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:57,200 Speaker 1: stuck in a rut, and why it's made it onto 475 00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:01,959 Speaker 1: this list. Creating something gives us purpose because it feels 476 00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:06,720 Speaker 1: productive and tangible, which in turn kind of inviews our 477 00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:10,080 Speaker 1: life with a sense of meaning. So many of our 478 00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:14,960 Speaker 1: ideas and our visions for life, our plans are very 479 00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:19,000 Speaker 1: intangible and internal. But when we create something we can 480 00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:23,720 Speaker 1: hold in touch and produce, this shows us that there 481 00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:26,520 Speaker 1: is actually something in the world that we have agency over. 482 00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:29,600 Speaker 1: There is something that we can create. We can put 483 00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:33,360 Speaker 1: good things into this planet, into this world, into the 484 00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:37,800 Speaker 1: people around us. Scientifically and psychologically. There's also this idea 485 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:42,120 Speaker 1: called the theory of cognition, which essentially tells us that 486 00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:46,320 Speaker 1: being creative is one of the basis of human life. 487 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:50,920 Speaker 1: Everything rests on our ability to create, and beyond that, 488 00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:55,640 Speaker 1: it also increases happiness, It creates a flow like meditative state. 489 00:32:56,240 --> 00:33:01,000 Speaker 1: Creativity reduces dementia and improves mental health, mainly by helping 490 00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:05,520 Speaker 1: us to manage our negative emotions in a productive way. 491 00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:08,760 Speaker 1: That is really the crux of this. All of these 492 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:15,480 Speaker 1: benefits act as protective factors against falling into a rut. Also, 493 00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:20,040 Speaker 1: I think when we're in this state, it almost physically 494 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:23,800 Speaker 1: feels like our brains are just a lot slower and 495 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:29,040 Speaker 1: somewhat incapable of thinking smart or interesting things. So when 496 00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:33,240 Speaker 1: we take time to actually be creative and to tap 497 00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:36,320 Speaker 1: into that area of our brain that has kind of 498 00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:40,000 Speaker 1: been left dormant, we do see a huge difference. You know, 499 00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:44,160 Speaker 1: make terrible doodles, make a chunky scarf and ugly painting, 500 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:48,800 Speaker 1: whatever you need to do. I think creativity really unlocks 501 00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:52,520 Speaker 1: different neural pathways. It unlocks different ways of seeing the world. 502 00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:55,920 Speaker 1: It breaks us out of the very kind of stale 503 00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:59,560 Speaker 1: existence that often accompanies full time work and full time 504 00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:06,680 Speaker 1: study and daily routines. Finally, tip number six, hold yourself 505 00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:10,800 Speaker 1: accountable for the changes you want to make in your life. 506 00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:15,040 Speaker 1: I say this all the time, but the easiest thing 507 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:18,760 Speaker 1: to do is what is most convenient, and that urge 508 00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:22,000 Speaker 1: to do nothing, to keep spending our days in bed 509 00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:27,160 Speaker 1: or watching television is particularly pronounced when we're in a rut, 510 00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:31,680 Speaker 1: and sometimes we cannot be the only person in our 511 00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:36,719 Speaker 1: lives trying to hold ourselves accountable for change. I would 512 00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:40,000 Speaker 1: really encourage you to tell your friends or your family 513 00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:44,600 Speaker 1: people who are around you. Often, I think any problem 514 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:49,560 Speaker 1: spoken out loud is immediately halved, and chances are they're 515 00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,480 Speaker 1: probably going to say something like yeah, hey, me too, 516 00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:56,200 Speaker 1: or like I've been there before. But also, you can 517 00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:59,480 Speaker 1: kind of use your friends to help you achieve things 518 00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:02,560 Speaker 1: like your week challenges or your fun nights out. Get 519 00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:05,319 Speaker 1: them involved, bring them over for an art night, ask 520 00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:08,080 Speaker 1: them to start running with you, whatever it is that's 521 00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:11,000 Speaker 1: going to break this cycle when you feel like you're 522 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:14,200 Speaker 1: not alone, but also when you feel like you'll disappoint 523 00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:17,720 Speaker 1: someone else. If you don't commit or follow through, most 524 00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:21,680 Speaker 1: of the time, you're more likely to succeed. It's such 525 00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:27,720 Speaker 1: a strange conundrum like this really strange like human idiosyncrasy 526 00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:31,799 Speaker 1: that we are more concerned about letting others down than 527 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:36,680 Speaker 1: letting ourselves down. But we can leverage that instinct to 528 00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:40,560 Speaker 1: kind of get moving and to do things. And also 529 00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:44,520 Speaker 1: telling friends means that they'll be more inclined to check 530 00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:47,200 Speaker 1: in and see how you're going and provide you with 531 00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:52,960 Speaker 1: that encouragement, which I think every human really needs. Any 532 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:57,080 Speaker 1: emotional state that's distressing or negative, even just feeling like 533 00:35:57,120 --> 00:36:00,440 Speaker 1: you're in a bit of a rut, I really honestly 534 00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:04,640 Speaker 1: do believe that when other people know, when you invite 535 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:09,560 Speaker 1: them into your struggles, it becomes a lot easier to manage. 536 00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:13,239 Speaker 1: Enlisting those six strategies, I think we'll get you back 537 00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:16,080 Speaker 1: to a place where you're feeling more like yourself. I 538 00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:19,960 Speaker 1: don't think I can promise an overnight shift, but in 539 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:23,320 Speaker 1: a few weeks it will be hard not to see 540 00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:26,880 Speaker 1: a change, not just in your motivation and your happiness, 541 00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:31,040 Speaker 1: but your overall mindset. I feel a lot of empathy 542 00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:33,399 Speaker 1: for those of us really, you know, grinding it out 543 00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:36,760 Speaker 1: at UNI or at work and just feeling really devoid 544 00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:39,479 Speaker 1: of a sense of self. But I also don't think 545 00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:44,280 Speaker 1: that that experience is uncommon. I think it's very natural 546 00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:47,960 Speaker 1: to go through periods where we lose a bit of 547 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,920 Speaker 1: our spark, we lose a bit of our sense of self. 548 00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:54,719 Speaker 1: Like I said, but what I always think is that 549 00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:58,160 Speaker 1: if you don't change something now, it's going to be 550 00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:02,280 Speaker 1: a lot harder to change it in five or ten years. 551 00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:05,120 Speaker 1: So I'm sending you a lot of love and strength. 552 00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:07,880 Speaker 1: It's not forever. You've got the strategies, and I do 553 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:11,800 Speaker 1: just really hope that this episode has helped you out. Also, 554 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:15,000 Speaker 1: you know around happiness and things like that. I think 555 00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:18,359 Speaker 1: we really are in control of our own happiness, and 556 00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:22,360 Speaker 1: sometimes we don't realize that even small things that feel 557 00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:24,080 Speaker 1: like a lot of effort and feel like a lot 558 00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:30,080 Speaker 1: of energy make a sizeable difference. Five minutes setting your intentions, 559 00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:34,560 Speaker 1: five minutes doing something impulsive, five minutes doing a little 560 00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:38,920 Speaker 1: doodle talking to a friend. Sometimes we don't think that 561 00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:41,880 Speaker 1: that will help, but it really does. So it's not 562 00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:44,320 Speaker 1: to say you need to make huge changes in your life. 563 00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:48,640 Speaker 1: I just think that small daily practices, daily things, daily 564 00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:52,080 Speaker 1: intentions really do bring us back to who we are 565 00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:54,920 Speaker 1: and who we want to be and allow us to 566 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:57,359 Speaker 1: kind of break out of this cycle. So I really 567 00:37:57,360 --> 00:38:00,279 Speaker 1: do hope that this episode helped you out. You're not 568 00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:04,440 Speaker 1: alone in your rut. I'm there with you right now. 569 00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:06,799 Speaker 1: And if you have a friend who maybe needs to 570 00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:10,120 Speaker 1: hear this episode, as always, I would really appreciate it 571 00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:12,640 Speaker 1: if you shared it along, maybe it will help them 572 00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:16,160 Speaker 1: out and you'll be able to recognize that there are 573 00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:20,160 Speaker 1: other people going through this as well. As always, if 574 00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:24,040 Speaker 1: you enjoyed this episode, please feel free to leave a 575 00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:27,839 Speaker 1: five star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you are 576 00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:30,080 Speaker 1: listening right now. It helps the show to grow and 577 00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:33,440 Speaker 1: reach new people. And again, if you like this content, 578 00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:35,960 Speaker 1: if you want more content like this, if you want 579 00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:41,640 Speaker 1: bonus content, unreleased episodes, episode transcripts, studies, newsletters, all that 580 00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:45,879 Speaker 1: good stuff, please check out my Patreon. I will leave 581 00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:49,200 Speaker 1: a link in the description of this episode. It really 582 00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:53,319 Speaker 1: does support me as someone who is doing this very 583 00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:56,680 Speaker 1: independently and doing this very much on my own. It's 584 00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:59,839 Speaker 1: great to see the community grow and hopefully you'll go 585 00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:03,040 Speaker 1: check it out. If you have an episode suggestion, follow 586 00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:06,560 Speaker 1: me at that psychology podcast. I read them all. They 587 00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:10,360 Speaker 1: are so amazing. I often integrate what you're going through 588 00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:13,120 Speaker 1: into my episodes, so I really do love to hear 589 00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:15,480 Speaker 1: from other people in their twenties or of any age 590 00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:19,320 Speaker 1: who have an experience that they want to understand the psychology. 591 00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:22,200 Speaker 1: So thank you again for listening along, and we will 592 00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:27,040 Speaker 1: be back next week with another episode.