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Speaker 1: This is the Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast

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Speaker 1: with our radio. Hey everybody, Uh, today just doesn't seem

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Speaker 1: like the most happiest of days for the Almost Amous podcast.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna start out a little odd. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: feel like we have to. There's no other option. I

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Speaker 1: have my co host, actually Connettie in studio. Um. Actually

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Speaker 1: I wanted to start out, how are you doing? I

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Speaker 1: am fine, I'm I'm good, Ben, I am. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's a sad situation. Obviously, you guys do not always

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Speaker 1: say obviously, but some of you out there may have

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Speaker 1: heard that Kevin and I split up, and obviously all

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Speaker 1: breakups are not pleasant. Yeah, so for anybody out there listening, UM,

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Speaker 1: my wonderful and beautiful co host Ashley was dating, um

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Speaker 1: Kevin from Bachelor Winter Games. Uh, they had a relationship

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Speaker 1: from my first set then. I don't want to speak

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Speaker 1: for Astley and I'll let to actually speak for yourself here,

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Speaker 1: but from my perspective, it was one that was supportive. Um,

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Speaker 1: they cared a ton for each other. But unfortunately, just

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Speaker 1: like uh, some really great relationships do, and we'll talk

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Speaker 1: about that later on the podcast. Um, this relationship ended

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Speaker 1: and and because actually is a huge part of this podcast.

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Speaker 1: We we didn't know any other way to do the

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Speaker 1: podcast but to talk about it, and we're lucky enough

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Speaker 1: to have Astley in studio. And then we're also going

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Speaker 1: to bring Kevin on UM, so two of them can

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Speaker 1: talk to share their perspective. I'll try to walk them

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Speaker 1: through this. What I do want to say is just

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Speaker 1: shows that both people have a lot of respect for

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Speaker 1: each other and a lot of love and a lot

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Speaker 1: of care if they're willing to come out and talk

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Speaker 1: to each other even post break up on air and

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Speaker 1: life for all of you. So actually, thank you. UM,

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Speaker 1: what exactly is your relationship like with Kevin today? I

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Speaker 1: I think we're totally We're totally friends. When he comes

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Speaker 1: out to l A next or if I ever find

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Speaker 1: myself in Toronto, I we will be seeing each other

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Speaker 1: for sure. Um. Everybody knows that I stay pretty close

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Speaker 1: to my exes, between Jared and Wells, Um, you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm in good terms with all of them and consider

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Speaker 1: them both really good friends. I do want to say, like,

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Speaker 1: why do you do that? Why do you stay so

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Speaker 1: close that I guess like when there's somebody is so

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Speaker 1: important in your life and somebody got along with and

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Speaker 1: cared about and loved as a person so much that

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Speaker 1: you just can't. I just find that it's it's weird

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Speaker 1: to eliminate them from your life and it didn't work

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Speaker 1: out romantically for some reason, but doesn't mean that you

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Speaker 1: can't still be friends. I mean, of course, if it

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Speaker 1: was like a nasty breakup, or I broke up with him,

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Speaker 1: or we broke up for reasons that or you know,

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Speaker 1: hostile because like we genuinely didn't get along, that's one thing.

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Speaker 1: But if it's just like not there then and it's

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Speaker 1: not like a long term, like this is my person

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Speaker 1: type of ing, then it's different. If you want to

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Speaker 1: be friends afterwards, I mean that's something we've talked about

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Speaker 1: in the podcast before and and just to refresh anybody, actually,

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Speaker 1: when is that no longer appropriate or is there ever

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Speaker 1: not appropriate to stay friends with your exes and stay

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Speaker 1: in communication with them. I feel like it just depends

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Speaker 1: what the current relationship is like and what the previous

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Speaker 1: relationship was like. I think there's been situations in my

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Speaker 1: life that I stayed close to max Is. Actually, I

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Speaker 1: would say I have a decent relationship with all of them,

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Speaker 1: but some look different than others. You know, for example,

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Speaker 1: my relationship in college with somebody that I cared a

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Speaker 1: ton about that I love. When we broke up, we

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Speaker 1: didn't talk for two years, but today we can have

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Speaker 1: a good conversation and talk very openly about life, and

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Speaker 1: we we have a lot of respect for each other. Well,

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Speaker 1: that took time, and so I don't know, it's just

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Speaker 1: like the easy out and this as well, it takes

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Speaker 1: time to kind of figure out what that relationship is

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Speaker 1: gonna look like, or to even see if he is

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Speaker 1: dire to still have a relationship with that person. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I think the unique thing for you to actute and

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Speaker 1: I want to hear you know kind of this is

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Speaker 1: not that you stay close with your but that you

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Speaker 1: stay close with them right away. It's almost like, you know,

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Speaker 1: have you allowed yourself the time to feel bit um.

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Speaker 1: I think with Kevin, we like, you know, I'm really

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Speaker 1: bad at this. Um. I think that maybe the reason

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Speaker 1: I've stayed close to the two particular exes we're referring

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Speaker 1: to is because in the bachelor family, it's hard to

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Speaker 1: avoid them and ignore them. So as mine as well,

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Speaker 1: just be friends because you're probably gonna have to see

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Speaker 1: them pretty much right away anyway. So with Kevin, because

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Speaker 1: we're so closely associated in public, I feel like that's

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Speaker 1: a reason that like we may jump into a friendship

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Speaker 1: quicker then I would if I was just like a regular,

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Speaker 1: like a regular X who like I could actually just

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Speaker 1: distance myself from in every way. I mean, but I

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Speaker 1: mean I think for me, you know, I had a

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Speaker 1: relationship in the backs of franchise, and it's hard for

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Speaker 1: me to see myself. You know, if I ran into Laurence,

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Speaker 1: they would be really hard, not because I dislike her,

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Speaker 1: but it would be really hard on me. And so

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Speaker 1: I just think it's either one impressive, two new and

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Speaker 1: kind of modern to have such a quick relationship, or

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Speaker 1: three one an explanation from you, because I think it is.

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Speaker 1: I think it is something that's not a lot of

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Speaker 1: people can do, is become friends with their actors. I

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Speaker 1: mean you and you and Kevin announced your breakup when

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Speaker 1: um it was announced on Monday, but it happened last week.

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Speaker 1: I think it's actually it's all about how we broke

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Speaker 1: up and why. So I think we should discuss that more.

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Speaker 1: Why is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, So it's the okay,

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Speaker 1: first off. He is like the most um like he's

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Speaker 1: I don't want to use cliche as like amazing, he's

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Speaker 1: so sweet like he is, he's like so like sugary.

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Speaker 1: He like truly is like just a genuine nice guy.

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Speaker 1: And you can vouch for him on that. He's very protective,

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Speaker 1: like not just in like the physical way that he

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Speaker 1: wants to provide and protect for his woman and his family,

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Speaker 1: which I love the old fashioned the romance of that all,

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Speaker 1: but he also means I also mean that like emotionally,

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Speaker 1: like he just wants to be that rock for his

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Speaker 1: person and to be completely there for them emotionally and

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Speaker 1: completely committed to someone like that is what he desires,

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Speaker 1: and I think that is just so beautiful And yeah,

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Speaker 1: he just he wants to create that safe space or

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Speaker 1: someone and the way that he cares about me and

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Speaker 1: I'm sure whoever he's with and he cherishes me, it's

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Speaker 1: it's just it's what every girl wants, and it's just

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Speaker 1: it's sad way it doesn't work out. And the reason

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Speaker 1: that he doesn't it didn't work out here is I

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Speaker 1: just feel like there was like a lack of connection.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to blame distance. I would never blame distance. UM.

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Speaker 1: I know that it's been in some of the articles,

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Speaker 1: but I am like a strong believer that I would

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Speaker 1: move or at least make it work for the love

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Speaker 1: of life, even if they were on the other side

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Speaker 1: of the country, like the planet um. But for us,

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Speaker 1: it was just like a lack of connection and like

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Speaker 1: I think mental chemistry. Obviously the physical chemistry was there.

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Speaker 1: We won the kissing competition, but to quote Carrie Bradshaw,

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Speaker 1: as you hate when I do, it was just missing

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Speaker 1: that Zaza zoo and I think I think after three

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Speaker 1: months you kind of know, like, if this isn't my person,

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Speaker 1: if this isn't my soulmate, my future husband, you have

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Speaker 1: to let it go because it's just not fair for

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Speaker 1: both of you, and especially at the ages we're out.

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Speaker 1: I told Kevin, I was like, if we were in

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Speaker 1: our mid twenties and we wanted to be boyfriend and girlfriend,

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Speaker 1: like I think we could have been boyfriend and girlfriend

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Speaker 1: for a long time, but as two people who are

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Speaker 1: very marriage focused, UM, at thirty and thirty four, I

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Speaker 1: think that the best thing to do is like, if

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Speaker 1: this isn't my forever, we should just end it now

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Speaker 1: without keeping it just lingering through trips here and there.

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Speaker 1: It is that how the conversation went down. You brought

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Speaker 1: this up to him and just said, Hey, I'm not

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Speaker 1: I'm not feeling that. The connection isn't there. You know,

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Speaker 1: we're being to the age where we just can't play

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Speaker 1: around anymore. I think as seems we've done m Yeah. Um,

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Speaker 1: I just knew, you know, I have been feeling those

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Speaker 1: feelings for like a couple of weeks leading up to

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Speaker 1: the conversation, and it was our first deep, sit down

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Speaker 1: conversation for a couple of days. Like I was just

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Speaker 1: so bombarded with a birthday in the Bachelor finale and stuff,

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Speaker 1: and I just thought, I was like, I think this

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Speaker 1: is going to be the phone call because we have

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Speaker 1: to come up with a trip to see each other.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know if that would be right to

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Speaker 1: do right now, because I think it would just lead

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Speaker 1: this whole thing on a dragging journey. Yeah. I actually

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Speaker 1: I listened to you here and I wonder how heavy

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Speaker 1: was this, Like, how heavy was this on your heart,

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Speaker 1: on your shoulders, and on your mind? So much I've

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Speaker 1: never felt like this before. It was the hardest thing ever.

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Speaker 1: It was the hardest conversation to have it just in

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Speaker 1: your life, have you actually broke up with somebody? Obviously,

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Speaker 1: never before, never before. This is the first time. I mean,

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Speaker 1: walk me through that. I hate to say that I

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Speaker 1: broke up with him, but like, you know, I feel

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Speaker 1: like I asked him, I go, do you really think

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Speaker 1: I'm your forever person? And he's like, I don't really

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Speaker 1: know if I thought about that before, and I was like, well,

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Speaker 1: I think got three months. At these ages, you should

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Speaker 1: be thinking about that. And if you're not, he was like, maybe,

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Speaker 1: since I haven't, that's probably a sign that you're not.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, yes, probably, yeah, but you you're going

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Speaker 1: into it with the intention that this was probably going

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Speaker 1: to be the conversation that ended thing. So walk for

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Speaker 1: all of our listeners out there, because most of the

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Speaker 1: people listen to this podcast, or most of the people

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Speaker 1: who will listen to this podcast, at some point in

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Speaker 1: their life will either be in a breakup go through

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Speaker 1: a breakup, and I guess that is one of the

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Speaker 1: themes of this podcast is we all get broken up

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Speaker 1: with or we're all gonna be the person that has

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Speaker 1: to break up with somebody at some point in our life.

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Speaker 1: A relationship will end. As unfortunate as that is, it

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Speaker 1: is just part of life. Actually going into that week,

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Speaker 1: preparing for that conversation with Kevin, like, how are you feeling?

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Speaker 1: It was the worst feeling I've ever had. Like I've

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Speaker 1: always been on the other side of the relationship, you know,

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Speaker 1: I've always been the one that's like holding on and

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Speaker 1: knowing the breakup is coming, and it is the worst

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Speaker 1: feeling in the entire world. So I've never been like

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Speaker 1: I've had like a feeling in my chest all week,

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Speaker 1: you know, just like that heaviness in your heart. It's

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Speaker 1: not just an expression, It's like something that your body

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Speaker 1: physically feels. And I've never been so overwhelmed with empathy

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Speaker 1: and compassion just because I've been on that side so

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Speaker 1: many times. Um, it's just a horrible, horrible feeling. And yeah,

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Speaker 1: it does. It does make you ask, like that debate

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Speaker 1: would you rather break up with somebody or would you

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Speaker 1: rather be broken up with because both are horrible, especially

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Speaker 1: when the person is so terrific, like they have the

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Speaker 1: best heart and soul. All they do is want to

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Speaker 1: care for you, and it makes it difficult because you know,

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Speaker 1: like there's there's those relationships were like, no, we're fighting,

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Speaker 1: and like there's this about this person. I can't live

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Speaker 1: with that. But it's just when there's a lack of spark,

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Speaker 1: and that's the only thing. Really, those are the hardest breakups.

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Speaker 1: I get it. I mean, and it doesn't help that

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Speaker 1: the person that you recently just broke up with is

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Speaker 1: coming on to this podcast here in a second. But

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Speaker 1: it also shows a side of you actually that that

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Speaker 1: I know we all appreciate, and that's the fact that

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Speaker 1: you can um keep a respectable relationship. Uh and that

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Speaker 1: you treat your your significant others so well that they

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Speaker 1: have a hard time getting getting you out of their

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Speaker 1: life at all, and they'd rather just even be friends

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Speaker 1: with you. Uh and and and the opposite would be

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Speaker 1: losing you completely. So I think it's it's incredible relationship

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Speaker 1: you can keep with Kevin. Yeah, well I'm really glad

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Speaker 1: because I just don't under you know, I know it's

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Speaker 1: hard to be friends with somebody afterward, but if you

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Speaker 1: leave it on such good terms and you really enjoy

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Speaker 1: each other as people as mine as well. You know.

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying he's going to be a huge part

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Speaker 1: of my daily or weekly life, but like am I

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Speaker 1: going to check in with him, never every now and then. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I he he appreciated the fact that I was

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Speaker 1: so honest with him, and it was so hard, you know, honesty,

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Speaker 1: he's honestly so hard. It's hard. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: else to say. But you don't want to drive people along,

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Speaker 1: you know, It's like you gotta rip the band aid

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Speaker 1: off because in the long run, if you drag it

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Speaker 1: out and you keep like sugarcoating it all, it's going

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Speaker 1: to make them feel even worse. It's funny because I

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Speaker 1: remember when Wells was on this podcast like six months

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Speaker 1: ago talking about how he did that with me. He

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Speaker 1: was like, but don't you like the fact that I

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Speaker 1: didn't sugarcoat it? And I was like, no, I needed

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Speaker 1: delivered with more sensitivity. You you deliver it with sensitivity.

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Speaker 1: But like, yes, being honest with the person and not

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Speaker 1: stringing them along is the best way to do it.

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Speaker 1: I I completely agree. So let's let's drip the band

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Speaker 1: aid off. Let's get Vin on the line. But before

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Speaker 1: we do that, I need to tell you all about

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Speaker 1: Smart Sweets. Uh. Smart Sweets is one of our newest

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Speaker 1: and most revolutionary supporters of this podcast. I really like him.

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00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,520
Speaker 1: They sent and sent us a bunch of Smart Sweet

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Speaker 1: Star Houses. We've tried them, and I think you're all

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Speaker 1: gonna be amazed after listening to this. Just exactly what

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you about. Okay, so listen, listen very closely.

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Speaker 1: With only three grams of sugar and ninety calories per bag,

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Speaker 1: Smart Sweets gummy Bears have eighty five less sugar and

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Speaker 1: the leading gummy bears. What do they taste like? You asked?

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Speaker 1: They taste like a normal gummy bears. They are incredible. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they are sweets. I mean that is really uh what

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Speaker 1: I love about him. Let me just repeat it now.

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Speaker 1: You know that we're talking about gummy bears. Three grams

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Speaker 1: of sugar and ninety calories per bag and you can

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Speaker 1: enjoy yourself some gummy bears. Okay. So Smart Sweep was

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00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:05,840
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00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:08,360
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Speaker 1: Smart Sweet Gummy Bears are free from sugar, alcohols, artificial sweeteners,

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Speaker 1: then added sugar. I'm telling you, I've loved candy all

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Speaker 1: of my life. I'm a big fan of gummy bears,

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Speaker 1: but I've also as I've gotten older, I've tried to

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Speaker 1: step away from the sugar. So Smart Sweet Gummy Bears

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Speaker 1: or Canada that smart sweep dot Com use our promo

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Speaker 1: code almost Famous today. They're worth it. There. Revolutionary movie

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Speaker 1: on now to bring in the other person that's been

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Speaker 1: affected by this relationship, this just steals to me. Um,

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Speaker 1: not odd, it actually kind of feels healthy. I am

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Speaker 1: ecstatic to introduce this person. I think he is an

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Speaker 1: incredible man. I was so excited that he was with

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Speaker 1: one of my closest and best friends. Actually, um, I

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Speaker 1: have a whole dis guy to a very high regard. Kevin,

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Speaker 1: are you on the line with us? I'm here, Bud Kevin.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Almost Famous podcast. Thank you for coming

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Speaker 1: on here. Hey guys, thanks for uh, Kevin, we just

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Speaker 1: uh we just said and talking to actually um kind

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Speaker 1: of breaking down um, your relationship from her perspective, Kevin,

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Speaker 1: before we get started, there's been a kind of a

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Speaker 1: question that was brought up and and for all of

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Speaker 1: our listeners out there, please email us at ben in

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Speaker 1: Ashley iHeart media dot com with your thoughts on this.

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Speaker 1: It's interesting you and actually can stay friends so quickly

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Speaker 1: after a breakup, and you like this is common? Is

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Speaker 1: this something that's happened your life before? Is it healthy?

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Speaker 1: Can can you kind of walk us through that? Uh?

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Speaker 1: You know what? I think, I think we kind of

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Speaker 1: started on friendship. Like I think the way me and

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Speaker 1: her clicked when we first met, I just knew the

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Speaker 1: way we kind of laughed enough to have to go

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Speaker 1: about everything. I just felt like it was there was

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Speaker 1: a connection that you know, depending on or or no

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Speaker 1: matter what happens down down the line, I always just

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Speaker 1: felt like we had a good connection from the start. Um,

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Speaker 1: and I feel like there's no there's nothing nothing happened

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Speaker 1: between us. I think a lot of excess you might

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Speaker 1: not remain friends if there was an event that happened.

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Speaker 1: I think asking and I just got put into a

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Speaker 1: situation and in this franchise, I mean it happens all

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Speaker 1: the time where um, you kind of fall for the

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Speaker 1: person first and then all the logistics or the long

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Speaker 1: term thought process comes later. Um. And I feel like

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Speaker 1: there's no there's nothing between us as negative, so there's

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Speaker 1: no reason we can't be friends. And we still get

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Speaker 1: along so so great. I still, you know, text to

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Speaker 1: every day, see she's doing. It's not like it's a

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Speaker 1: I feel like you really have to have a negative

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Speaker 1: thing happened. If two people cared about each other at

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Speaker 1: any point the arrived, you should be able to remain

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Speaker 1: friends unless there was a negative thing happened. That's how

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Speaker 1: I feel. That's exactly what I said. It was like

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Speaker 1: we had a hustle breakup. It was like get along

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Speaker 1: really well, just taking the romance out of it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, the one thing I will say, I think

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Speaker 1: I did bring it up to actually like it was.

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Speaker 1: It was square away. I'm a pretty like black and

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Speaker 1: white guy, and I'm really working on trying to live

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Speaker 1: in the gray area a little bit more. And I

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Speaker 1: remember right when we got back from Vermont, Um, I

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00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,399
Speaker 1: was in Florida for Christmas and We had facetimes a

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Speaker 1: few times right away, and I think I even brought

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Speaker 1: it up really early, like long term question, like the

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Speaker 1: stupid guy that I am like already thinking down the road.

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Speaker 1: And her response was can we just enjoy this for

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Speaker 1: a while? And then I kind of paste off her

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Speaker 1: and said, yeah, let's do that, because they still be

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Speaker 1: a fun experience. I was coming to l A for

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Speaker 1: a whole bunch of the month of February, and I

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00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:55,920
Speaker 1: was gonna be staying with her, and we had a

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00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:59,040
Speaker 1: bunch of plans um in January as well, but I

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Speaker 1: just kind of let her control hole and not let me.

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00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,280
Speaker 1: I'm usually a bit of a control freak. I like

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Speaker 1: to kind of know where I'm going next, and this

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Speaker 1: time I decided to try to be the passenger a

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Speaker 1: little bit and say, let's just enjoy each other's company

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Speaker 1: and get to know each other, have our fun experience,

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Speaker 1: and then we'll take it from there. And I think

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Speaker 1: we've kind of put the serious talk that a lot

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Speaker 1: of people have, um, we put it on the back

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Speaker 1: burner and just enjoyed and enjoyed the process and enjoyed

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Speaker 1: getting to know each other before we had to kind

359
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Speaker 1: of answer those tough questions. We're the tough questions. Is

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Speaker 1: the one that, in your opinion, Kevin ultimately pulled you apart?

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Speaker 1: Or was there anything else? I feel like when you

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Speaker 1: start off in the long distance relationship, it's, um, it's

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Speaker 1: kind of a double edged story. You need to live

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Speaker 1: in the same place to know if you're compatible forever.

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Speaker 1: But in order for somebody to really uploot their life

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Speaker 1: and go somewhere, you feel like you want to be

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00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,720
Speaker 1: going for this for that person forever. And I know

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Speaker 1: in certain situations in your life. I know, Um, I

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Speaker 1: did have a long distance relationship in my early twenties

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Speaker 1: and my girlfriend was in school so she transferred schools.

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Speaker 1: We dated for a year, it didn't work out, and

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Speaker 1: we're still friends, and that was fine. But now that

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Speaker 1: I'm in my thirties and and actually as well, I

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00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:10,280
Speaker 1: know you're not big on Like my life is pretty

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00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,720
Speaker 1: established here and I'm not saying I wouldn't move for

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Speaker 1: the right relationship. UM, I just feel like you have

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00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:17,760
Speaker 1: to be very sure, you have to be kind of

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00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:21,400
Speaker 1: over that hump, and after spending so much time out there, um,

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Speaker 1: kind of being a fanboy of actually and you know,

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Speaker 1: getting to see her life a little bit out there,

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Speaker 1: and I realized she's so meant for that. But she's

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Speaker 1: I'm just very proud of her. She's a very she's

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Speaker 1: a very meant to be in l A. And I'm

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Speaker 1: a huge fan of her. UM. And I realized when

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Speaker 1: you when I really get down to it, would I

386
00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:40,920
Speaker 1: moved there? Um? I would, but a lot of stuff

387
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,600
Speaker 1: would have to happen first, And if I would ever

388
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Speaker 1: bring her here, even though I love the city of

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00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,000
Speaker 1: Toronto and I love living here, UM, I would always

390
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,199
Speaker 1: feel like I'm going to be resented eventually because it

391
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,880
Speaker 1: doesn't have the same career opportunity. And I think she's

392
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:53,399
Speaker 1: going to be a huge sat I think your thirties

393
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:54,880
Speaker 1: are going to be the best years of your life.

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Speaker 1: And I just I wasn't able to get over that

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00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:01,440
Speaker 1: that hump, and actually was it was actually that um

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00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:04,399
Speaker 1: kind of it was good to her to let me

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Speaker 1: enjoy the process, because when I did go through this

398
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,560
Speaker 1: kind of the first time, UM, I made similar mistakes.

399
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Speaker 1: Were right when I was I was engaged off into

400
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,560
Speaker 1: the television show. I was right away thinking like, when

401
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,840
Speaker 1: are we doing this? And it was one of my

402
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,679
Speaker 1: faults that I had I didn't just let it happen.

403
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,520
Speaker 1: And I think the great thing about the way I

404
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:25,040
Speaker 1: actually approached it was like that Vermont experience was so

405
00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:26,760
Speaker 1: fun that you guys both know I had a great

406
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,639
Speaker 1: time there, and um, I was so glad. I meant, actually,

407
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,720
Speaker 1: I think we had a really really good bond together. Um.

408
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:35,480
Speaker 1: I think just once you got into the real world, UM,

409
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:38,399
Speaker 1: we kind of experienced how each of us lived individually

410
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,720
Speaker 1: and realized that it just didn't mesh. I think I

411
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,840
Speaker 1: actually said it's me pretty well the other day. You

412
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:46,000
Speaker 1: can meet somebody that's meant to be in your life

413
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,040
Speaker 1: and meant to be an important part of your life,

414
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,000
Speaker 1: that doesn't necessarily mean they have to be here forever

415
00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:53,119
Speaker 1: like person, and I see actually as someone that I

416
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,600
Speaker 1: will never not think the best of and not want

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Speaker 1: to call and see as she's doing. I just don't think, um,

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Speaker 1: I don't think that were our lives line up to

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00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,359
Speaker 1: kind of take that next step. And I actually really

420
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,480
Speaker 1: appreciate that she was able to kind of address that

421
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:09,640
Speaker 1: early on because the more I I'm a very committed guy.

422
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,600
Speaker 1: So the more I actually you know that, the more

423
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,399
Speaker 1: I the more time goes on, the more business than

424
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,320
Speaker 1: which go on. I would just do more and more

425
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:19,000
Speaker 1: into it and then just the heartbreak is just so

426
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:23,359
Speaker 1: much work. Yeah, he's so committed. It's like the greatest

427
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,560
Speaker 1: thing to see from a guy. Like when he is in,

428
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:27,439
Speaker 1: he is all in and he just wants to do

429
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:30,560
Speaker 1: everything to make it work. And I think that at

430
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,679
Speaker 1: some point that could almost be a flaw because like

431
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,359
Speaker 1: you do get really like into the idea, like this

432
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:38,520
Speaker 1: must be success, but like then you just have to

433
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:41,320
Speaker 1: step back and be like, what is this the right

434
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:46,640
Speaker 1: you know, the right story like that. And it's also

435
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:49,600
Speaker 1: different just the way the way our lives work, long

436
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:52,800
Speaker 1: distance can work. I don't work before, but I'm also

437
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:54,600
Speaker 1: get to a city where I work twenty four our

438
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,480
Speaker 1: ships and I mean I get months off at a

439
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:59,199
Speaker 1: time to do TV shows, but to be able to

440
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,920
Speaker 1: go to hole to go every weekend back and forth,

441
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:05,480
Speaker 1: and it's so hard to do, especially with actually busy lifestyle.

442
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:09,840
Speaker 1: That um, we we both just appreciated the fact that

443
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:11,199
Speaker 1: we really care about each other. We had we had

444
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:13,359
Speaker 1: a great connection. But I just don't think our lives

445
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 1: kind of go in the same direction. We have totally

446
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:19,040
Speaker 1: different lifestyles and interests, you know, and it's just like, yeah,

447
00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:21,760
Speaker 1: like I love him being part of my life, but

448
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,400
Speaker 1: I don't think it's we just we just don't think

449
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:28,040
Speaker 1: that they're like our person forever. Kevin, I want to

450
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:31,160
Speaker 1: ask you, uh, and I'm gonna ask actually the same question,

451
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 1: how ready are you to find that person? I think this, uh,

452
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:40,040
Speaker 1: this whole experience, UM, I think it kind of got me,

453
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,200
Speaker 1: got me over that, over that hunt. The breakup that

454
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:44,919
Speaker 1: I went through last year was was pretty rough on

455
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 1: the definitely doubted it that I was ready even when

456
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,280
Speaker 1: we met to Vermont. Similar to to your thoughts and

457
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:54,560
Speaker 1: to start them, and I just think, um, I'm definitely ready,

458
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:57,560
Speaker 1: Like I'm in that I'm in that point where, um,

459
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 1: I'm always moving and I always want to do the

460
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:02,399
Speaker 1: next thing. But it's same time, I've had a very

461
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:04,920
Speaker 1: good feeling twenties and my thirties are going very well.

462
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,399
Speaker 1: That I see my two little nieces with my brother

463
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,960
Speaker 1: and stuff. I'm definitely ready for that. Like that's like

464
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:11,879
Speaker 1: number one on my radar. Maybe that's why I might

465
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:15,159
Speaker 1: come off a little intense when I'm into somebody. I

466
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,080
Speaker 1: don't want to say I don't want to say I'm desperate,

467
00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:19,600
Speaker 1: but I also like I want to have I'm desperately

468
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,040
Speaker 1: looking for that, Like I love to come home and

469
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:23,840
Speaker 1: cook for a woman. I want to have a family,

470
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:26,160
Speaker 1: like this is what this is the light that I want.

471
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 1: So I'm definitely ready. Ben. I think it's just just

472
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:32,360
Speaker 1: got to be patient. He is the ultimate husband material

473
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:36,159
Speaker 1: and I still believe this completely, Like I cannot wait

474
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 1: for him to find his Like you know that Wilson

475
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:43,240
Speaker 1: Phillips song that I never understood. It's like about your

476
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 1: ex finding love and happiness. It's like, actually, how I

477
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 1: feel about Kevin Lee. I can't wait to see him

478
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,359
Speaker 1: in that element. But what about you? I mean, actually,

479
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:54,560
Speaker 1: then what I mean, what happened? I mean, he's everything

480
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,600
Speaker 1: you told me. You think he's the best looking guy

481
00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 1: that walk the face of this there's you know, he's sweet,

482
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:02,399
Speaker 1: he's all the husband material. I mean this might not

483
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 1: even be on Kevin. Actually, what's going on in your

484
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 1: life that kind of doesn't allow you to get to

485
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:10,439
Speaker 1: this point? No, I think there's just there, there's and

486
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:14,000
Speaker 1: there's the It sounds a little harsh, but it's just

487
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:18,439
Speaker 1: that lack of there's magic, there's we get along very well.

488
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:22,120
Speaker 1: It's just there's a little something missing and you can't

489
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,320
Speaker 1: really pinpoint what it is. It's just that's about how

490
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:26,480
Speaker 1: I feel. I feel like that's normal. And I feel

491
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 1: like you get some connections all the time where if

492
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:32,360
Speaker 1: you take away our outside world and just put actually

493
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,520
Speaker 1: me on island together, if we probably get along really well,

494
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 1: and that's what Vermont was, um, and then you're adding

495
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:40,400
Speaker 1: everything else and interest it can be everyday interest too

496
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:43,440
Speaker 1: when we get up in the morning to you know

497
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 1: what I mean, like there's there's just life. That two

498
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:47,959
Speaker 1: people can go in different kind of direction doesn't mean

499
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,159
Speaker 1: they don't feel love and respect each other. It just

500
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,560
Speaker 1: means if it doesn't line up. And the older you get,

501
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,600
Speaker 1: the quicker you want to identify that. I mean, Kevin,

502
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:58,639
Speaker 1: for you when actually gave you the phone call and

503
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,119
Speaker 1: you guys started the conversation and it was, you know,

504
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:02,920
Speaker 1: kind of we we got a little back started out

505
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:05,240
Speaker 1: of how the converse taking went at this point in time.

506
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 1: Were you feeling the lack of spark also or this

507
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:10,959
Speaker 1: kind of a one sided thing? Um? I feel like

508
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:13,679
Speaker 1: I was. I was, very like actually said earlier, I

509
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,360
Speaker 1: got that commitment thing where I just I'm very hard

510
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 1: at getting up on things and I'm not saying that

511
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,200
Speaker 1: we gave up on it and without trying, I'm saying

512
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 1: I was still ready to come there again. And I

513
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:26,639
Speaker 1: know her birthday, I wanted to be there when I

514
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:28,880
Speaker 1: had to work, and I was planning on coming out

515
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 1: either that week or she was going to come here,

516
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:34,119
Speaker 1: and I knew, I knew we definitely had like an

517
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:37,200
Speaker 1: uphill paddle, like I wasn't in yet, but I also

518
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:39,720
Speaker 1: knew I wanted to see her again. But now that

519
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:41,680
Speaker 1: a few days have passed and we both kind of

520
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 1: collected our thoughts and emotions and stuff, I know, I

521
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:46,680
Speaker 1: know she made the right call and I know this

522
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 1: is the way it should be. And um, I honestly true.

523
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,439
Speaker 1: And I feel like I got friend zones, actually your

524
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:58,000
Speaker 1: friends zones being this time the tables. But I but

525
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:00,920
Speaker 1: I'm okay. I think the more processed in, the more

526
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:02,639
Speaker 1: I mean, I've kept this kind of to myself. I

527
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:06,080
Speaker 1: didn't want any comments getting out there without us doing this,

528
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 1: because I know we wanted this to be our platform

529
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 1: to kind of talk about it. That I've been to myself,

530
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,399
Speaker 1: but a few people like my parents or whoever I

531
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,720
Speaker 1: have talked, I know they just see that I'm a

532
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 1: very loving person. I want I want the best things

533
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,760
Speaker 1: for Actually, I just don't think, Um, the spark was

534
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:22,400
Speaker 1: was fully ignited by the time we had the conversations.

535
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 1: By respect you for these kind of doing it earlier on,

536
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 1: we could have done two or three more trips, and

537
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 1: then it's just what it kind of dragged us. So

538
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,119
Speaker 1: it's all good. It makes sense, And I want to

539
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 1: address kind of why we decided to talk about this

540
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:39,359
Speaker 1: on the podcast. One. Um, I've been like so open

541
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:42,080
Speaker 1: and sharing my entire love life with everybody out there

542
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:45,400
Speaker 1: for like three years, so when my first breakup happens,

543
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:48,400
Speaker 1: I think that it's something that they'll be an there

544
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:51,199
Speaker 1: was there is a natural curiosity about and what I

545
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:58,199
Speaker 1: wanted to prevent was everybody's interpretations, personal interpretations and like

546
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 1: all the social media a part, and I just didn't

547
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 1: want people to make assumptions and like to be like, oh,

548
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 1: Ashley is the sad girl, like I'm crying for her,

549
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 1: like her poor broken heart. And I didn't want people

550
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:15,119
Speaker 1: like villainizing him and saying like he did so and

551
00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 1: so like no, like we just wanted to like kind

552
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:19,480
Speaker 1: of get this out there together since we are on

553
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:22,119
Speaker 1: such a such friendly terms and be like, no, guys,

554
00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:24,239
Speaker 1: this is actually how it happened, Like, don't come up

555
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 1: with their crazy theories. I mean, you better do this

556
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:28,720
Speaker 1: on the podcast. Are you kidding me? We both have

557
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:35,040
Speaker 1: taken this podcast would be so mad. I don't know

558
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:37,960
Speaker 1: if you give us to anybody else. Now, it's like

559
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:41,280
Speaker 1: a nice safe place for us to just talk about it,

560
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 1: like you know, civilized people. So I felt like you.

561
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 1: I felt like we we talked about this, uh a

562
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:49,880
Speaker 1: day or two after we had to take conversation and um,

563
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 1: rather than it just be something, you know, if one

564
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:55,359
Speaker 1: rumor starts of what happened, it can get pretty And

565
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:56,879
Speaker 1: this is still a new world to me. I now,

566
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:58,680
Speaker 1: you guys have been in for a while. But um,

567
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 1: Actley is pretty open with all of her fans and

568
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 1: and people watch the show get invested in our relationship.

569
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:06,080
Speaker 1: So at the end of the day, we respect the

570
00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:08,440
Speaker 1: process of what we signed up for, and we respect

571
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,359
Speaker 1: that if I was following somebody that I really just

572
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,840
Speaker 1: kind of rooting for, we don't owe them an explanation,

573
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,119
Speaker 1: but the time we appreciate that they should get one

574
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:21,680
Speaker 1: so good it makes sense. It makes complete sense. Kevin

575
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 1: I know you gotta go here. You're busy guy. You

576
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:25,639
Speaker 1: got to get back to us saving the world and

577
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,560
Speaker 1: fighting buyers in Canada. I mean, what an attractive job.

578
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 1: You know you've already talked about enough. Actually, we know

579
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:36,200
Speaker 1: you love Kevin. We we we've got to hear your reasoning.

580
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:40,320
Speaker 1: We've got to hear your heart. And is there anything here, um,

581
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 1: to kind of close out this segment with you that

582
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 1: you would want to say to actually uh, just for

583
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:48,400
Speaker 1: the listeners to hear, uh, so they know exactly what

584
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:52,040
Speaker 1: you think of this beautiful young lady we all love.

585
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 1: The only thing I really got to say now that

586
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 1: I'm I have a whole um, I kind of have

587
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 1: my own vision of her now because I didn't I

588
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:03,640
Speaker 1: didn't see her in past seasons of the show. I

589
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:05,760
Speaker 1: didn't know her reputation at the moment, I just met

590
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:08,960
Speaker 1: her very orchanically, you know. Um, I got to know

591
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 1: each other with no outside attractions, and then getting to

592
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 1: kind of see her in her everyday life. I realized

593
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,680
Speaker 1: she's gonna be a wonderful wife and mother and whenever

594
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:20,040
Speaker 1: she is ready, they'll be a line up down the

595
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 1: block for her. UM. And I know that she's gonna

596
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 1: be gotta be like probably her favorite part of her

597
00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 1: whole life. And I know she she comes from a

598
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:31,120
Speaker 1: great family and they're just I'm going to be jealous

599
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 1: already of whatever guy ends up with it. So I

600
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:36,120
Speaker 1: know how great she is and I'm just happy to

601
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:38,959
Speaker 1: have met her. I'm happy that we kind of went

602
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,520
Speaker 1: through this together because I think if if aither of

603
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:44,520
Speaker 1: us weren't there for this experience, we might have both

604
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:46,360
Speaker 1: had maybe a negative experience. I think we kind of

605
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:48,800
Speaker 1: helped each other through the whole thing right up until

606
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 1: I flew home, you know, a couple of weeks ago. Um,

607
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 1: it was all positive and I think that's the one

608
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 1: great thing, and that's the reason why I loved this

609
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 1: whole I love this. I know you guys are both

610
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 1: fans of the two, but I loved this whole process

611
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 1: of like human interactions because I got to know Ashley

612
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 1: without even knowing one comment agother. I just got to

613
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:09,960
Speaker 1: get to know her as a person and then build

614
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 1: from that. And it didn't work at this time, and um,

615
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,080
Speaker 1: I just know she is going to blow some guys

616
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 1: plots off one day and just be more a way

617
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 1: for the century. Kevin went we love you, We respect you.

618
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:28,280
Speaker 1: I think incredibly highly of you. Thank you for being

619
00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:31,200
Speaker 1: a great guy to my friend. Thank you for showing

620
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 1: men out there how to treat a woman. Kevin, we

621
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:37,280
Speaker 1: wish you not only the best from this podcast, but

622
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 1: as friends of yours, we are completely rooting for you. Actually,

623
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 1: I know you agree? Do you agree? And I'm glad

624
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:47,880
Speaker 1: that you guys even got to hear him today because

625
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:49,960
Speaker 1: I think it's further proof that he is just like

626
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 1: such a catch. Thank you, guys from almost podcast. Keep

627
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 1: being Hot? Yea by that was cathartic. How that feel?

628
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 1: I feel good? It felt good. I'm glad that we

629
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 1: did that. I think it's a It was a perfect

630
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:14,000
Speaker 1: demonstration of how we really feel towards each other. I mean, actually,

631
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:17,800
Speaker 1: I'm sitting here and it's still weird for me to

632
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:20,480
Speaker 1: think that you're even in a relationship after Winter Games, honestly,

633
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 1: because who would have thought that Winter Games would have

634
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,880
Speaker 1: led either of us to actually like being in a relationship.

635
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:29,520
Speaker 1: But but you met somebody that you were so excited for,

636
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 1: that you're so excited about. I want to know from

637
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,480
Speaker 1: you personally. I know that when Kevin first started to

638
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 1: show interesting you, it was a good confidence booster for you.

639
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 1: And one thing I've seen and you could tell me

640
00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 1: if I'm completely wrong. Listeners, I want you to tell

641
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 1: me if I'm completely wrong. You do a pretty good

642
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:48,400
Speaker 1: job of that. Anyway. Um, since you've met Kevin, you've

643
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:52,600
Speaker 1: stood you have you haven't owned your identity as the

644
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 1: emotional kind of uh friend zoned person that maybe you

645
00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 1: you had before. You've tried to change your You spoke

646
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:04,040
Speaker 1: against maybe your emotions. He spoke against always being friend zoned.

647
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 1: You've almost became this new Ashley, and I want to

648
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 1: know where that comes from, because even in the conversation

649
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 1: with Kevin, I hear you trying to defend who you

650
00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:17,360
Speaker 1: are now compared to who you are before. Really well,

651
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:22,200
Speaker 1: I do think that our relationship was like this. I

652
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:24,880
Speaker 1: don't want it's like a stepping stone, which is maybe

653
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 1: a weird term, but for both of us, Like I

654
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:30,240
Speaker 1: think he needed to find someone to get him out

655
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 1: there because he was you know, he wasn't as he

656
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,680
Speaker 1: was pretty torn up still about the breaking off of

657
00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:39,720
Speaker 1: his engagement. And Okay, so I guess I came around

658
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:42,080
Speaker 1: like eight months after that, and he had not really

659
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 1: dated or invested emotionally in anyone until me, and he

660
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 1: needed me to kind of like get himself back out

661
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:54,280
Speaker 1: there and to just let himself feel for somebody again.

662
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,280
Speaker 1: And then for me, I guess I needed to find

663
00:32:57,320 --> 00:33:04,480
Speaker 1: someone he was gonna make me feel really valued, cherished, um, sexy,

664
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:09,720
Speaker 1: just and make me feel like a catch. Not that

665
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:11,720
Speaker 1: I've always thought I was a catch. Like I've never

666
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 1: been that girl who's like, nobody likes me, Like why

667
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:16,920
Speaker 1: what's wrong? I've never been the girl who says, what's

668
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 1: wrong with me? Um? I mean, I don't think I've

669
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:21,719
Speaker 1: ever even said that on the show. I've always been

670
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,320
Speaker 1: the girl who's like, why doesn't he like me? Like

671
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:27,479
Speaker 1: what is it about him that doesn't like me? So

672
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 1: I've always had more confidence that I feel like people

673
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:34,160
Speaker 1: think that I that I have UM. But it it

674
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:36,800
Speaker 1: does give me a nice sense of security to be like,

675
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:38,840
Speaker 1: oh no, this guy like he thinks I'm all that

676
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:45,640
Speaker 1: UM and that kind of confirms for me that I am.

677
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:47,560
Speaker 1: I mean, we all think you are. And and it

678
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:51,040
Speaker 1: sounds like your emotional health is impact and we can

679
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 1: tell that you're doing okay, But let's talk about your

680
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:56,240
Speaker 1: physical health health for a second. And I want to

681
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 1: talk about it by introducing you to quit when it

682
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,680
Speaker 1: comes to your health, Actually brushing your teeth is one

683
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:04,040
Speaker 1: of the most important parts of your day. Quip knows

684
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 1: that they're combined dnistry and design to make a better

685
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:09,920
Speaker 1: electric truth brush. Let me tell you about quips. Quip

686
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:12,319
Speaker 1: is the new electric truth sprush that packs just the

687
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 1: right amount of vibrations into a swimmer design at a

688
00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 1: fraction of the cost of bulk gear tradition or electric brushes.

689
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:22,960
Speaker 1: Guiding policies alert you to switch side, making the brushing

690
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:25,480
Speaker 1: the right amount of effortless. You know what happens, I

691
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:29,360
Speaker 1: brush you with Doug clip and I'm laughing because you

692
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 1: know it does it alert you when you should switch

693
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 1: switch sides. And now I don't know if I'd be

694
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:37,719
Speaker 1: able to brush without that. I'm I'm honestly like I

695
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:40,280
Speaker 1: think I I've gotten so used to be in triggered

696
00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:43,960
Speaker 1: of okay, kind of hit the left side. Um anyway.

697
00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 1: Clip also comes with amount that stumps is right your

698
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 1: mirror and unstick. He use as a cover for hydienic

699
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 1: travel anywhere, whether it's going to your jam bag or

700
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 1: a carry on. And because that thing that cleans your

701
00:34:57,000 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 1: mouth should also be clean clip. Some scription plan refreshes

702
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 1: your brush on a dentist recommended schedule, delivering new brush

703
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 1: heads every three months for just five dollars with three

704
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:13,600
Speaker 1: shipping worldwide, not not in the US, not like Dinner's Coffee. No,

705
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 1: it's worldwide. Most tooth brush is don't get named one

706
00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:20,040
Speaker 1: of Time Magazine's Best adventtions of the year. But Equipped

707
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:23,760
Speaker 1: did find out for yourself why I use it, actually

708
00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 1: uses it. We all use it. Equip starts at just

709
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:30,000
Speaker 1: twenty five dollars, and if you go to get equipped

710
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:33,719
Speaker 1: dot com back flush almost famous. Right now you get

711
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 1: your first three full pack free with equip Electric twoth

712
00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 1: thrusts that your first three fill pack three at get

713
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:45,359
Speaker 1: quip dot com back blush almost famous. Get quipped dot

714
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:49,880
Speaker 1: com plush almost famous. Today. I'm telling you use it

715
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:52,239
Speaker 1: to help your brush, keep your teeth clean. We all

716
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 1: need it. Actually getting back now from your physical health

717
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 1: back to your emotional health. Actually we have you have these,

718
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,360
Speaker 1: you're friends with, you have people in your life that

719
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:05,400
Speaker 1: you care a lot about. When are you gonna be ready?

720
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:07,400
Speaker 1: Do you know if you're gonna be ready again for

721
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:10,400
Speaker 1: any type of romantic connection or romantic relationship or is

722
00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 1: this going to take time. I think I'll take a

723
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:15,400
Speaker 1: little bit of time off, but I don't think I

724
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:18,759
Speaker 1: have a big recovery period I have to go through.

725
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,800
Speaker 1: So I mean, if if the right guy, if Prince

726
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:26,600
Speaker 1: Charming or whoever, Terry Bradshaw that's her name, right, carry Bradshaw,

727
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:31,839
Speaker 1: not Terry Bradshaw, Terry bradwa if I remember, if you're

728
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 1: Mr Big walked into a room right, is that I Yes,

729
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:38,760
Speaker 1: guys are doing great jobs. Okay, if you're Mr Big

730
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:41,560
Speaker 1: walked into a room right now, you know you would

731
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 1: be ready to at least it down and have a conversation,

732
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:46,919
Speaker 1: and you feel like you're still open for the possibility

733
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:49,279
Speaker 1: of finding somebody right now you're you're keeled enough or

734
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 1: you're recovered enough for that. I feel like, yes, awesome. Actually,

735
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:59,560
Speaker 1: one thing selfishly that I could not tell you until now,

736
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 1: because now you're back to being single, Welcome to the club.

737
00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:09,200
Speaker 1: I recognize that I wasn't getting um as many questions

738
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:12,879
Speaker 1: from you on advice recently, and I wonder if any

739
00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:14,880
Speaker 1: of that has to do on the podcast and outside

740
00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:16,279
Speaker 1: of the podcast. I wonder if any of that has

741
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:17,759
Speaker 1: to do with the fact that Kevin was in your

742
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:22,000
Speaker 1: life maybe, but now you're back to leaning on the

743
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:30,200
Speaker 1: almost famous podcast and your uh well, speaking of Dr

744
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 1: ben Um, we also have our other favorite doctor, Dr

745
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:37,680
Speaker 1: Nick Le in the in the hot seat right now. Um.

746
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:39,880
Speaker 1: Nick's going to come on here in a second. Uh.

747
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:41,759
Speaker 1: Nick and I are going to talk about breakups with

748
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,480
Speaker 1: Ashley who We're gonna talk about how we recover from breakup,

749
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:48,399
Speaker 1: how we recommend you recover from breakfast breakup. We're gonna

750
00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:51,359
Speaker 1: reach out to you again for advice. Um. Anybody out

751
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:53,760
Speaker 1: there that that has any advice on how to recover

752
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:57,080
Speaker 1: from a breakup or or any of their crazy breakup stories,

753
00:37:57,320 --> 00:38:01,080
Speaker 1: please email us. I've been in actley I media dot com.

754
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:03,800
Speaker 1: We're like ford to hearing from you, and we'll read

755
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:07,360
Speaker 1: or try to read your emails on this podcast before

756
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:10,359
Speaker 1: we talk to Nick. You know what's just as much

757
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 1: fun as Nick? Shopping? I went to the mall the

758
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 1: other day, though, and it wasn't that much fun because

759
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:18,319
Speaker 1: I couldn't find anything. I wasted two hours of my

760
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 1: day and I couldn't even find when I was looking for.

761
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 1: It was so frustrating. I was just looking for a

762
00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:25,919
Speaker 1: basic sweater. Does that even exist anymore. My options were

763
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 1: like super low v next or really expensive unflattering sweaters.

764
00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:32,440
Speaker 1: This is why I hate going to the mall. And

765
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:36,440
Speaker 1: while letote e is perfect with letoe, you can rent

766
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:39,920
Speaker 1: up to three hundred dollars worth of clothing from designer

767
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:44,200
Speaker 1: brands like BCPG, Nike, Rebecca Main Coff for as low

768
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 1: as fifty nine dollars a month. Get a box of

769
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:49,360
Speaker 1: fashion delivered right to your door, and you'll always have

770
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 1: something new to wear. It's so easy. It's better clothes

771
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:54,520
Speaker 1: than I would ever find shopping at the mall, and

772
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:56,680
Speaker 1: it saves me money. So go to lttote dot com

773
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:59,319
Speaker 1: that is l E t o t e dot com

774
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:02,840
Speaker 1: to get started. Enter promo code almost famous at checkout

775
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:05,480
Speaker 1: to get off your first month, and from there you'll

776
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:08,440
Speaker 1: get a completely customized tote within days, wear it all

777
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:10,120
Speaker 1: and when you're done, return the rest of it in

778
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:13,800
Speaker 1: the mail and they'll start preparing your next toe immediately. Again.

779
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:16,320
Speaker 1: That is litto dot com and our code is almost

780
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:19,960
Speaker 1: famous and you'll always have something new to wear. It's amazing.

781
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 1: We have one of our favorite bachelors in studio right now.

782
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:27,960
Speaker 1: This guy, Uh, you know, I just want to be

783
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:31,600
Speaker 1: clear and what you all don't see and here on

784
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:34,319
Speaker 1: this podcast or on the show is Nick has been

785
00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:38,359
Speaker 1: very supportive to me through my relational struggles. Uh. He

786
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 1: also is one of the people that has the most

787
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 1: respect for his breakup. He holds it very close to

788
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:46,640
Speaker 1: his chest. He has a lot of respect for his

789
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:51,080
Speaker 1: uh former relationships. So we thought nobody else that has

790
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:53,359
Speaker 1: more respect for his partners to come in and talk

791
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,319
Speaker 1: respectively about breakups and also give an advice on how

792
00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:59,800
Speaker 1: you handle breakups. Then one of our favorite Nick file

793
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:05,120
Speaker 1: Nick over to the podcast, What's Up Ben? What's up? Dude? Hey?

794
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:07,399
Speaker 1: You know, obviously this podcast feels a little different today.

795
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:10,920
Speaker 1: I mean, how often do you have a couple that

796
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 1: has recently broke up, actually within the last week come

797
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:16,080
Speaker 1: on and talk to each other. I mean, that's that's unique,

798
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:19,160
Speaker 1: that's different, But it just shows kind of the character

799
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 1: that actually Kevin hold Nick. I've I've noticed just from

800
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:25,480
Speaker 1: conversation with you, you have a lot of respect for

801
00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:28,360
Speaker 1: your past relationships and that you you have a certain

802
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:31,480
Speaker 1: way that you kind of manage and handle these breakups publicly.

803
00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:35,319
Speaker 1: Can you talk us about that? Uh? Yeah, I mean

804
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 1: I've always been a big believer in terms of relationships

805
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:42,359
Speaker 1: I've had in my life, rather romantically or otherwise, that

806
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 1: they kind of helped form you as a person. UM.

807
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:50,759
Speaker 1: So all of my exes I think have benefited me

808
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:55,640
Speaker 1: in some way or another. UM and comment, it's like

809
00:40:55,719 --> 00:41:00,200
Speaker 1: all a part of the path to your person. Sure, mean,

810
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:04,719
Speaker 1: I think being our persons is that it's it's a

811
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:08,000
Speaker 1: NonStop evolution. I don't think we ever hopefully we never

812
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:11,040
Speaker 1: peek um in terms of who we are as people

813
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:15,759
Speaker 1: that can always change. UM. And so it's there's just

814
00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:19,919
Speaker 1: no real reason to speak negatively about people, UM who

815
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:23,239
Speaker 1: have had a a part of who are part of

816
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:27,600
Speaker 1: your past. Um. You know, and any serious laship I've

817
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:31,080
Speaker 1: been on, I've felt love and I felt love for

818
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:33,480
Speaker 1: that person. I felt loved by that person, and so

819
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:36,080
Speaker 1: those are those are special moments that even though it

820
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:38,920
Speaker 1: doesn't work out, you kind of hold near and dear

821
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:41,480
Speaker 1: to your heart. So, you know, I just try to

822
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:44,640
Speaker 1: always remember that I and I think that's something that

823
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:47,480
Speaker 1: I really admire and look up to you because you're

824
00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:50,560
Speaker 1: you always do give that content reminder as well as

825
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:52,680
Speaker 1: actually just did at her with her conversation with Kevin

826
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:55,200
Speaker 1: and Kevin Vice versa is you know you hold these

827
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:58,959
Speaker 1: people uh a pot no matter if there's been pain

828
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:00,840
Speaker 1: involved or not, you hold them a high because of

829
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:02,239
Speaker 1: the impact that they've had in your life and the

830
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:03,759
Speaker 1: fact that you did share life with them for a

831
00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:07,759
Speaker 1: little bit. UM, let's let's go from our personal lives

832
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:11,080
Speaker 1: here for a second to get very bachelor esque on everybody.

833
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:14,400
Speaker 1: I know this isn't always our favorite thing to do, UM,

834
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:16,759
Speaker 1: but it makes sense because a lot of the people

835
00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:20,120
Speaker 1: listen to this podcast have gotten to know you and

836
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 1: Ashley and I threw um the Bachelor nick as you

837
00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:27,120
Speaker 1: entered into being the back TWI what kind of advice

838
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 1: were you given that you feel like, well, it's helpful

839
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:33,640
Speaker 1: for you to at least meet Vanessa UM, not necessarily

840
00:42:33,719 --> 00:42:35,799
Speaker 1: leading to the the end of that relationship, but at

841
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:39,720
Speaker 1: least going on the right track to finding I feel

842
00:42:39,719 --> 00:42:42,560
Speaker 1: like you're setting yourself up for success. Ben. I think

843
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:44,279
Speaker 1: I think you know the answer to this question. I mean,

844
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:47,399
Speaker 1: the best advice I got was from you and your

845
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:52,040
Speaker 1: ex Lauren. UM. Honestly, I mean, I think I think

846
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:54,239
Speaker 1: that's fair. That's great if it really was that, But

847
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:56,120
Speaker 1: don't just say that because I really had I've said

848
00:42:56,120 --> 00:43:01,160
Speaker 1: that's another interview since this isn't groundbreaking news here. But UM, yeah,

849
00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 1: I mean I'm sure you remember shortly after I was

850
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:08,360
Speaker 1: announced that I had dinner with the two of you, um,

851
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:12,600
Speaker 1: as well as Lauren's brother was there. Delightful young man. UM.

852
00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:16,680
Speaker 1: And you know there you guys were pretty candid with

853
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 1: your advice and the advice I got. UM, and I

854
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:24,319
Speaker 1: think you supported. This was Lauren talking about you know

855
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 1: you kind of I kind of suspected this, and you know,

856
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:31,560
Speaker 1: as to thirty, you know, women will come out a limo.

857
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:35,640
Speaker 1: You're bound to make real connections with a handful of

858
00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:38,800
Speaker 1: those people. And UM, you know, Lauren said to me, hey, listen,

859
00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:41,160
Speaker 1: you're going to develop feelings. But if you have any

860
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:44,440
Speaker 1: inclination of who you might pick, especially if it's early on,

861
00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:47,400
Speaker 1: and again you might you might have an inclination of

862
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:50,319
Speaker 1: who the person could be, that can change. You're always you.

863
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:52,040
Speaker 1: You try to your best to keep your heart open.

864
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:55,200
Speaker 1: But she said, if you're gonna do that, be mindful

865
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 1: and go out of your way to protect that relationship, um,

866
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:01,240
Speaker 1: because you won't always be able to use the excuse

867
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:06,239
Speaker 1: while I was the bachelor. UM, So I really took

868
00:44:06,239 --> 00:44:08,919
Speaker 1: that to heart, and UM, I took that to heart

869
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,000
Speaker 1: all the way from night one to the very end,

870
00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:14,239
Speaker 1: and it was very helpful for me and something that UM,

871
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:18,440
Speaker 1: I went way out of my way to do. Yeah. Again, unfortunately,

872
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:22,279
Speaker 1: our relationship didn't work out, and is is challenge as

873
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:24,440
Speaker 1: much as I tried, um to do that, and I

874
00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:26,040
Speaker 1: felt like I successfully did that and was in a

875
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:28,840
Speaker 1: lot of ways proud of of how I did it. Um.

876
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:31,200
Speaker 1: That world is very difficult and and brings a lot

877
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:37,200
Speaker 1: of challenges regardless, UM. You know, it's it's everyone's experience

878
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:39,759
Speaker 1: in that world is different, UM, and it's just a

879
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:42,759
Speaker 1: matter of perspective. But that was probably the best, you know,

880
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 1: real advice that I actually you know, you get advice

881
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:47,880
Speaker 1: and you're like, yeah, great, that's and that most of

882
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:50,840
Speaker 1: your advice is generic, like follow your heart and you know,

883
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:52,840
Speaker 1: don't overthink things, like a lot of people tell me

884
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:55,640
Speaker 1: that because they know I tend to be an analytical person.

885
00:44:55,719 --> 00:44:57,759
Speaker 1: But that that was specific advice, and I think I

886
00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 1: know that you kind of echoed that, and I think

887
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:02,640
Speaker 1: I remember you saying you had wished you had heard

888
00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 1: that advice as well, not that you didn't. And everyone

889
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:06,800
Speaker 1: knows you're a very respectful person. But in that world

890
00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:08,759
Speaker 1: you can kind of get caught up in things and

891
00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:11,520
Speaker 1: you're you know, this is a bachelor. There's this constant

892
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:16,000
Speaker 1: struggle of UM, regardless of how you're feeling. Um, if

893
00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:19,239
Speaker 1: you have really strong feelings for one person, there are

894
00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 1: other feelings you have for other people, and those feelings

895
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 1: can get confusing. Um. Every day is a new day

896
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:27,600
Speaker 1: with a different girl, and you can go on a

897
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:29,480
Speaker 1: date and have this really great time and feel you

898
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:31,520
Speaker 1: make of this connection and then you have to force

899
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:34,239
Speaker 1: yourself to press the reset button. That can be challenging

900
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:38,480
Speaker 1: and confusing, and every lead bachelor bachelotte otherwise has faced

901
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:42,560
Speaker 1: those challenges and so UM, having heard that advice, it

902
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:46,880
Speaker 1: just really made me prioritize and really focus on the

903
00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:49,480
Speaker 1: things that mattered most to me. And UM, that was

904
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:52,120
Speaker 1: probably the most helpful and from it helpful advice I

905
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:56,000
Speaker 1: ever ever got. Yeah, I mean I think that they come.

906
00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:58,840
Speaker 1: I mean when when that advice was given, I I

907
00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:01,200
Speaker 1: can sit back and remember that it was at the yardhouse,

908
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:02,880
Speaker 1: right there by the God of you Marry, right downtown

909
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:04,879
Speaker 1: l A. And I mean it was really coming from

910
00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 1: a place that Laura and I at that time, I

911
00:46:07,360 --> 00:46:09,399
Speaker 1: really loved and cared about each other and we're trying

912
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:11,279
Speaker 1: to make it work. And we realized the things that

913
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:14,120
Speaker 1: I had done as the Bachelor, that we're playing a

914
00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:18,360
Speaker 1: huge role in the success and lack of success of

915
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:21,200
Speaker 1: our relationship outside of the show. And so I think

916
00:46:21,239 --> 00:46:24,480
Speaker 1: it is incredibly important to lean on anybody in the

917
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 1: past that has participated in the show. And before I

918
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:29,840
Speaker 1: bring up a specific thing that I that I came across,

919
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:33,520
Speaker 1: um hey to interrupt, but one other the second best

920
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:37,239
Speaker 1: advice I got was also from you, and you said, uh,

921
00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:40,560
Speaker 1: and obviously interestingly enough, it might apply to this currency,

922
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:44,200
Speaker 1: but you said, if you're not certain, don't propose, don't

923
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:47,200
Speaker 1: get engaged. And I think that made you know again

924
00:46:47,239 --> 00:46:49,240
Speaker 1: you're always taking a leap of faith in that world.

925
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:52,520
Speaker 1: But um, I remember thinking about that towards the end

926
00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:55,480
Speaker 1: and really questioning my feelings. But you know, I felt

927
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 1: so strongly for Vanessa at the time that um, you know,

928
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:01,680
Speaker 1: I've I've felt very confident in my decision to take it.

929
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:07,040
Speaker 1: It wasn't just um based off the expectations of batanition

930
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:09,239
Speaker 1: or the show or producers. And so that was just

931
00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:11,880
Speaker 1: again another piod of advice you gave me. That is

932
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:15,360
Speaker 1: something that I took to heart and considered throughout the process.

933
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:18,600
Speaker 1: I wonder if Ari, if we if we had him monitor,

934
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:22,480
Speaker 1: he would have felt, you know, that advice was good

935
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:24,640
Speaker 1: advice at this point, if he would have wished he

936
00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:27,319
Speaker 1: would have kind of waited in processes out, or if

937
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:30,279
Speaker 1: he had anybody in his corner kind of telling him, hey,

938
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:32,680
Speaker 1: it is okay, this is your love story, this is

939
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:35,360
Speaker 1: your experience, like we're just here to watch it. I

940
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:38,839
Speaker 1: wonder if anybody had told him, you know, do you

941
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:41,000
Speaker 1: find or need or think is best? And if you're

942
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:44,480
Speaker 1: not certain by it, no means do you need to

943
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:46,840
Speaker 1: get down on one knee. That's not why this show exists.

944
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:49,040
Speaker 1: The show exists the fine love and if you need

945
00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:52,760
Speaker 1: a little bit longer, that's okay. Yeah, it's very interesting

946
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:57,680
Speaker 1: that you know Ari season just because you know there's

947
00:47:57,760 --> 00:48:00,759
Speaker 1: there's a lot of choices he made that I think

948
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:03,440
Speaker 1: you and I've discussed offline that I can't necessarily agree

949
00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:06,960
Speaker 1: with or don't understand, but it already certainly kind of

950
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:09,080
Speaker 1: did his thing. And what I mean by that is,

951
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:13,200
Speaker 1: you know, as a former bachelor, um, you kind of

952
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:15,360
Speaker 1: know the advice you get from producers, and they do

953
00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:18,000
Speaker 1: try to give you good advice. You know, sometimes it

954
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:22,080
Speaker 1: doesn't always feel that way, but they really do. Um,

955
00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:23,879
Speaker 1: it seemed like a he was really kind of going

956
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:27,680
Speaker 1: by his own beat, so to speak. Interesting enough, It's like,

957
00:48:27,719 --> 00:48:30,200
Speaker 1: if that was the case, why did he propose in

958
00:48:30,239 --> 00:48:33,160
Speaker 1: a sense, because if it was, he certainly did things

959
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:36,520
Speaker 1: that no one could no one could, like objectively think

960
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:38,960
Speaker 1: if he was worried about what Bachelor Nation would think

961
00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:42,759
Speaker 1: of him, He's certainly knew he was gonna get criticized.

962
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:44,600
Speaker 1: So if it was just a fear of of that,

963
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:50,680
Speaker 1: why not just wait and and not propose? And you know, again, people,

964
00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 1: you know Bom Pablo got criticized for that. You know what,

965
00:48:54,480 --> 00:48:57,360
Speaker 1: Walmac got criticized for that, but are he didn't seem

966
00:48:57,400 --> 00:49:00,440
Speaker 1: to care about that, so which good for him. Um,

967
00:49:00,560 --> 00:49:03,000
Speaker 1: But then why not why I proposed that? That was

968
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 1: kind of an odd It didn't quite make sense, but

969
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:08,520
Speaker 1: you know, it certainly made it for good TV. I

970
00:49:08,520 --> 00:49:10,800
Speaker 1: mean actually, and I got to speak with Ari happily

971
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:12,359
Speaker 1: through the season and I get to learn a lot

972
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:14,160
Speaker 1: about him. But I did not talk to him before

973
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:15,719
Speaker 1: his season started. I didn't talk to him after he

974
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:18,759
Speaker 1: got announced the Bachelor. Did and I don't know this

975
00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:21,520
Speaker 1: actually did you talk to him before his season started?

976
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:24,919
Speaker 1: Did you share advice to him? I met, I met

977
00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:28,360
Speaker 1: Ari for the first time right before the season premiered,

978
00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:32,759
Speaker 1: not before filming. UM reached out to you. No, never

979
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:35,919
Speaker 1: reached out to me. Um. I met him. He asked

980
00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:39,600
Speaker 1: for advice, Uh, you know at that point, And interesting enough,

981
00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:41,560
Speaker 1: it seems like he was struggling with his choice at

982
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:44,319
Speaker 1: that point. He didn't really elaborate that to me at

983
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:47,280
Speaker 1: the time, and I actually said to him. What also

984
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:50,200
Speaker 1: I did hear from you, which ended up being true,

985
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:53,640
Speaker 1: was that as hard it is, as hard as it

986
00:49:53,719 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 1: is to be the Bachelor and film and goes for

987
00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:59,319
Speaker 1: this season and film the season, and as stressful as

988
00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:01,880
Speaker 1: it is, and that lack of sweep sleep, it is

989
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:06,959
Speaker 1: either equally or if not harder UM post filming while

990
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:12,640
Speaker 1: the show is airing, especially in terms of UM preserving

991
00:50:12,640 --> 00:50:15,600
Speaker 1: the relation, the new relationship and and the struggles that

992
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:18,160
Speaker 1: are gonna come with it. And I remember thinking to myself,

993
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:20,759
Speaker 1: you know, I'm sure that's true when you told me that.

994
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:22,400
Speaker 1: But again I knew what I did. I knew what

995
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:24,480
Speaker 1: I didn't do. And I felt like I set myself

996
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:27,319
Speaker 1: up in my relationship with Vanessa up for success as

997
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:30,560
Speaker 1: much as I possibly could have. And yet it's just

998
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:35,080
Speaker 1: such a challenge, UM, because you know, it's you don't

999
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:37,560
Speaker 1: know what you know, Vanessa or Lauren are going to

1000
00:50:37,640 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 1: go through, and they're all entitled to have, you know,

1001
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:44,080
Speaker 1: these feelings, UM as a result to go through it.

1002
00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:47,479
Speaker 1: It takes a toll on on the winner, UM, because

1003
00:50:47,520 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 1: they have to they have to tell themselves they need

1004
00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:54,400
Speaker 1: to be okay with things that they would never otherwise

1005
00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:57,239
Speaker 1: be okay with UM and that and we're not you know,

1006
00:50:57,400 --> 00:50:59,920
Speaker 1: just we're not even talking about stuff that goes on

1007
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:04,439
Speaker 1: a fancy suite, just the whole process, UM. And so

1008
00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:06,680
Speaker 1: it's a it's a real challenge. And so I kind

1009
00:51:06,680 --> 00:51:09,440
Speaker 1: of echoed that to ari Um and said, you know,

1010
00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:13,080
Speaker 1: like just you know, be prepared. It's a challenge in

1011
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:15,719
Speaker 1: not realizing he was even struggling with his decision, and

1012
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:19,279
Speaker 1: it's s turned out to be obviously even more of

1013
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:22,759
Speaker 1: a situation for him than I could have anticipated. I mean,

1014
00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 1: if I would love to hear two years opinion, that's

1015
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:27,920
Speaker 1: the two of you's opinions, UM, that's why I'm so

1016
00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:35,040
Speaker 1: impressed confused by by Lauren um Burnham and and Ari.

1017
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:37,879
Speaker 1: I mean she stuck by his side, and I mean

1018
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:40,200
Speaker 1: I saw I tried to. I mean I obviously made

1019
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:42,919
Speaker 1: some really big mistakes. Uh, and I did some things

1020
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:45,080
Speaker 1: that definitely didn't set it up for success, Like you didn't.

1021
00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:47,760
Speaker 1: You definitely did it, And I know that you worked

1022
00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:50,520
Speaker 1: really hard at setting this thing up for success. Um.

1023
00:51:50,560 --> 00:51:54,399
Speaker 1: I tried, but I definitely felt short of what you did, Um, Ari,

1024
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:57,359
Speaker 1: So I think even farther short of me. But yet,

1025
00:51:57,480 --> 00:51:59,200
Speaker 1: you know, he has this woman sitting next to him

1026
00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:02,080
Speaker 1: at the very end in the finale, and she is

1027
00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:04,799
Speaker 1: just as supportive as possible him and it, and it

1028
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:07,799
Speaker 1: looks like they are are past the most difficult part.

1029
00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:11,160
Speaker 1: And that surprised me, like because all you know, I

1030
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:13,000
Speaker 1: I didn't see that side of the show. I mean,

1031
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:15,880
Speaker 1: the show was really hard on my relationship. Yeah you know,

1032
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:21,560
Speaker 1: UM said. You know again, it's interesting because Um, I've

1033
00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:26,040
Speaker 1: heard the criticism, UM, and the criticism off does seem fair.

1034
00:52:26,600 --> 00:52:31,000
Speaker 1: But again, when it comes to Arise choices, I don't

1035
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:36,440
Speaker 1: agree with a lot of how he handled things. UM. However, Um,

1036
00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:38,399
Speaker 1: having been in that world, I'm sure, Ben, you would

1037
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:42,280
Speaker 1: agree with this. Um, there's no denying that he risked

1038
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:44,279
Speaker 1: a lot to do what he did, regardless of you

1039
00:52:44,320 --> 00:52:46,279
Speaker 1: agree with how he did it or even the fact

1040
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:49,680
Speaker 1: that he did it. But if he was lukewarm on

1041
00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:53,360
Speaker 1: Lauren or just kind of liked her more, it wouldn't

1042
00:52:53,400 --> 00:52:54,799
Speaker 1: make much sense for him to do what he did.

1043
00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:57,880
Speaker 1: He clearly, I mean, there's I don't know how otherwise

1044
00:52:57,960 --> 00:53:01,840
Speaker 1: he could really realized at and maybe he had to

1045
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:05,800
Speaker 1: go about this is in this weird manner, UM realized

1046
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:08,480
Speaker 1: that how strongly he must have felt for Lauren, because otherwise,

1047
00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:12,080
Speaker 1: why don't like just ride it out with Becca and

1048
00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:15,080
Speaker 1: try to make it work. He clearly risked a lot

1049
00:53:15,800 --> 00:53:20,440
Speaker 1: in terms of public humiliation and criticism, UM, for the

1050
00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:24,640
Speaker 1: chance that are Lauren or with Lauren, And so I

1051
00:53:24,640 --> 00:53:27,680
Speaker 1: don't know if they're gonna work out, UM, but I

1052
00:53:27,719 --> 00:53:30,400
Speaker 1: thought it was a very interesting comment UM on Tuesday

1053
00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:34,759
Speaker 1: night when Molly mentioned that if she wonders if her

1054
00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:38,000
Speaker 1: and Jason would have worked out had he not um

1055
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:41,680
Speaker 1: first broke up with her and got engaged to the

1056
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:45,759
Speaker 1: other woman. UM first, because it's interesting, I wonder if

1057
00:53:45,760 --> 00:53:48,960
Speaker 1: it was Lauren being so supportive. I feel like a

1058
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:53,919
Speaker 1: good good credit to her that UM when you when again,

1059
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:56,319
Speaker 1: I don't know what it's like to win UM or

1060
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:59,560
Speaker 1: or be picked. You know how what Lauren and Vanessa

1061
00:53:59,560 --> 00:54:03,040
Speaker 1: had to go through UM, and there's some struggles there.

1062
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:08,359
Speaker 1: But Lauren, Lauren got broken up with by Ari and

1063
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:12,280
Speaker 1: then had that feel that heartbreak and then she clearly

1064
00:54:12,320 --> 00:54:17,279
Speaker 1: loved Lauren Ari rather UM. And once Ari came back.

1065
00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:19,200
Speaker 1: You can say what you want, but I think she

1066
00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:22,640
Speaker 1: decided to say, listen, I love this guy, and I'm

1067
00:54:22,680 --> 00:54:25,120
Speaker 1: just going to focus on the positive and that is

1068
00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:27,200
Speaker 1: that I get to be with the man I love

1069
00:54:27,440 --> 00:54:30,680
Speaker 1: and all the other stuff I'm just going to I

1070
00:54:30,719 --> 00:54:32,719
Speaker 1: can't change it, and someone to focus what I have.

1071
00:54:32,760 --> 00:54:34,240
Speaker 1: And you've got to give Lauren a lot of credit

1072
00:54:34,239 --> 00:54:36,239
Speaker 1: because and again this is not to criticize it your

1073
00:54:36,280 --> 00:54:39,400
Speaker 1: Lauren or my Vanessa or your Lauren I say that,

1074
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:43,840
Speaker 1: or Vanessa, but UM, it is a struggle to to

1075
00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:47,800
Speaker 1: accept the things that happened while going through filming. And

1076
00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:51,160
Speaker 1: I think the winner constantly kind of struggles with that

1077
00:54:51,239 --> 00:54:54,640
Speaker 1: and it becomes an an ongoing discussion and there's so

1078
00:54:54,680 --> 00:54:58,600
Speaker 1: many crappy conversations you have to have on our stresses,

1079
00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:01,840
Speaker 1: and I feel like Lauren almost kind of alleviated herself

1080
00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:05,000
Speaker 1: from like worrying about what ultimately is petty things. And

1081
00:55:05,040 --> 00:55:07,720
Speaker 1: I think every couple agrees that they end up fighting about,

1082
00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:09,880
Speaker 1: you know, things that really have nothing to do with

1083
00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:12,480
Speaker 1: the relationship. And in some way, I feel like it

1084
00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:16,560
Speaker 1: almost is going to benefit them in that way that

1085
00:55:16,640 --> 00:55:18,640
Speaker 1: they can get through. Yeah, And I feel like, and

1086
00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:20,960
Speaker 1: again that might change, you know, four months, five months

1087
00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:23,880
Speaker 1: from now, things can die down and everyone's different. You know,

1088
00:55:24,160 --> 00:55:26,839
Speaker 1: Lauren might have the personality where she doesn't care about

1089
00:55:26,880 --> 00:55:28,359
Speaker 1: that stuff and good for her, and it doesn't make

1090
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:31,440
Speaker 1: and the personality is better. It takes us. It takes

1091
00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:34,640
Speaker 1: a lot of luck and Bachelor World and a certain

1092
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:38,279
Speaker 1: kind of relationship to get through some of the incredible

1093
00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:41,360
Speaker 1: stresses that couples have to face that no other couples

1094
00:55:41,640 --> 00:55:44,080
Speaker 1: otherwise would have to. I mean asked, I want to

1095
00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:47,400
Speaker 1: ask you. I mean, do you feel like your relationship

1096
00:55:47,440 --> 00:55:49,640
Speaker 1: with Kevin do you feel like you've felt the pressure

1097
00:55:50,239 --> 00:55:54,400
Speaker 1: that a normal bachelor or Bachelor at couple felt after

1098
00:55:54,440 --> 00:55:57,200
Speaker 1: getting off the show or was Winter Games? Was that

1099
00:55:57,320 --> 00:56:00,319
Speaker 1: a different kind of experience for you? Um? I think

1100
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:03,520
Speaker 1: the pressure I felt the most was that my doubts

1101
00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:08,360
Speaker 1: about the relationship naturally started happening around that two month point,

1102
00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:11,440
Speaker 1: which in this world, that's when it's almost this is

1103
00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:13,600
Speaker 1: like kind of when it's starting to air. So I

1104
00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:15,919
Speaker 1: think you're really starting to find out a lot about

1105
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:18,319
Speaker 1: the person and how your life would be like in

1106
00:56:18,440 --> 00:56:21,560
Speaker 1: regular life outside the bubble with the person, right around

1107
00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:24,080
Speaker 1: the time that the show starts airing. And that's a

1108
00:56:24,080 --> 00:56:26,480
Speaker 1: lot of pressure because the fans want to see the

1109
00:56:26,560 --> 00:56:30,480
Speaker 1: happy ending continue in the real world, and um, it's

1110
00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:32,640
Speaker 1: just kind of like if you guys think about, you know,

1111
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:36,040
Speaker 1: out there in the real world, think about dating somebody

1112
00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:38,440
Speaker 1: for a little bit, and then at that two month point,

1113
00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:40,680
Speaker 1: you're really like, Okay, I'm starting to either see this

1114
00:56:40,719 --> 00:56:43,799
Speaker 1: person as a long term partner or this is just

1115
00:56:43,840 --> 00:56:46,880
Speaker 1: like a short term stepping stone. And I think for

1116
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,279
Speaker 1: us that the timing is hard because there is so

1117
00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:53,200
Speaker 1: much fan pressure to have that happy ending, especially with

1118
00:56:53,280 --> 00:56:57,880
Speaker 1: that after the final Rows reunion shows all that, you know, Uh,

1119
00:56:58,160 --> 00:57:00,560
Speaker 1: it brings up a good point here as we're preparing

1120
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:03,440
Speaker 1: for this podcast. As I said, I came across something

1121
00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:06,000
Speaker 1: here trying to figure out where are he got his

1122
00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:08,239
Speaker 1: advice I mean, if he didn't get it from Nick,

1123
00:57:08,880 --> 00:57:10,919
Speaker 1: are you didn't get it from me and you didn't

1124
00:57:10,920 --> 00:57:13,200
Speaker 1: get it from Crystals and who am the because he

1125
00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:14,759
Speaker 1: get his advice from it. It was pretty clear on

1126
00:57:14,760 --> 00:57:17,160
Speaker 1: the first episode of this season that he was gonna

1127
00:57:17,240 --> 00:57:22,120
Speaker 1: lean on one of America's favorite and former Bachelor, Sean Lowe.

1128
00:57:22,680 --> 00:57:28,440
Speaker 1: Uh And I found this quote from Sean Lowe uh

1129
00:57:28,640 --> 00:57:31,280
Speaker 1: preparing for this and it says Sean Lowe says that

1130
00:57:31,400 --> 00:57:35,640
Speaker 1: every Bachelor has called him after the Bachelor finale for advice.

1131
00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:41,600
Speaker 1: Sean also adds that not one bachelor has fully taken

1132
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:48,440
Speaker 1: his advice. I don't think I called him either. I

1133
00:57:48,480 --> 00:57:51,040
Speaker 1: think more he showed up to both of your premieres. Though.

1134
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:54,680
Speaker 1: How does that feel to like have these guys being like,

1135
00:57:54,840 --> 00:57:56,919
Speaker 1: I know what I'm doing? Well? It was interesting because

1136
00:57:56,960 --> 00:57:59,800
Speaker 1: you know that always happens, right, you know that usually

1137
00:57:59,840 --> 00:58:03,680
Speaker 1: they they do that every season. And I remember going

1138
00:58:03,680 --> 00:58:05,520
Speaker 1: to producers, I'm like, I bet you guys were gonna

1139
00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:08,680
Speaker 1: do this, right, They're like, yeah, we're gonna do this,

1140
00:58:08,760 --> 00:58:11,200
Speaker 1: and I'm like, great, I would love to see Chris

1141
00:58:11,200 --> 00:58:15,080
Speaker 1: and Ben. Don't invite Sean. Um, I'll just put it

1142
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:17,600
Speaker 1: out there. Um. And I bet I made a bet

1143
00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:20,520
Speaker 1: to the producers. I said, I bet you a million

1144
00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:23,919
Speaker 1: dollars that Sean gives me no advice, but he goes

1145
00:58:23,920 --> 00:58:28,960
Speaker 1: out of his way to remind everyone that's not. Everyone

1146
00:58:29,040 --> 00:58:31,800
Speaker 1: loves me, you know. He and he did. He like

1147
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:33,720
Speaker 1: I think they aired it. He's like, well, I like you,

1148
00:58:33,840 --> 00:58:36,760
Speaker 1: but you know not everyone in bet You Nation is

1149
00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:39,480
Speaker 1: your biggest fan. I'm like, thank you for reminding me.

1150
00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:44,160
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, things, And it was just like, I I

1151
00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:49,080
Speaker 1: think I want a actual hundred bucks from my producer. Um,

1152
00:58:49,120 --> 00:58:53,200
Speaker 1: so I know it wasn't planted, but um, yeah, yeah

1153
00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:57,120
Speaker 1: I didn't. I did not ask for his advice, certainly

1154
00:58:57,160 --> 00:59:00,439
Speaker 1: post show. I don't know advice I didn't take from him.

1155
00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:03,439
Speaker 1: But I'm glad it's working out. I mean that. Yeah,

1156
00:59:03,480 --> 00:59:05,920
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure, I'm sure we're all but we

1157
00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:08,400
Speaker 1: don't want any anything bad about this. But it's I

1158
00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:11,760
Speaker 1: took a fense to this comment. Um, personally I did.

1159
00:59:11,760 --> 00:59:14,800
Speaker 1: It's a little annoying to hear. I'll agree. Yeah, it

1160
00:59:14,880 --> 00:59:18,120
Speaker 1: doesn't easy with me to have somebody sitting there. I mean, Nick,

1161
00:59:18,160 --> 00:59:20,040
Speaker 1: if you were to sit there and go, yeah, you know,

1162
00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:22,480
Speaker 1: I knew what Benn should have done. He just didn't

1163
00:59:22,520 --> 00:59:25,760
Speaker 1: listen to me. I mean, I'm sorry, but nobody, even

1164
00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:29,640
Speaker 1: my closest friends and my family, knows the full picture

1165
00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:32,280
Speaker 1: of what happened in my relationship that made it not

1166
00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:35,120
Speaker 1: work out, or nobody knows what Lauren and I did

1167
00:59:35,200 --> 00:59:37,440
Speaker 1: to try to make it work out exactly what I'm

1168
00:59:37,480 --> 00:59:40,880
Speaker 1: reading this, and it hurts. It did, it doesn't, It

1169
00:59:40,920 --> 00:59:42,960
Speaker 1: doesn't hurt. I mean, it's just I guess it's annoying.

1170
00:59:43,800 --> 00:59:45,680
Speaker 1: I mean, let's be real what it is. It's a

1171
00:59:45,720 --> 00:59:52,840
Speaker 1: it's a really presumptuous, presumptuous and fairly arrogant um to say. So,

1172
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:54,680
Speaker 1: what do you think do you think Are he took

1173
00:59:54,680 --> 00:59:57,160
Speaker 1: his advice? Do you think Are was leaning on him

1174
00:59:57,160 --> 01:00:00,880
Speaker 1: for advice? I don't know. I don't know are Ari

1175
01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:05,000
Speaker 1: and Ari was on the podcast and he said that

1176
01:00:05,040 --> 01:00:08,040
Speaker 1: he talked to I mean, Ari was on the podcast,

1177
01:00:08,080 --> 01:00:11,240
Speaker 1: he said, But but Sean was on the podcast when

1178
01:00:11,240 --> 01:00:15,000
Speaker 1: you weren't here, and he said he did not ask

1179
01:00:15,120 --> 01:00:18,480
Speaker 1: him advice about specifically the switchero because Sean had no

1180
01:00:18,560 --> 01:00:21,200
Speaker 1: idea that what Cheru was coming. Sure, I mean, it's

1181
01:00:21,560 --> 01:00:24,360
Speaker 1: I know, for example, like Sean has been it's again

1182
01:00:24,480 --> 01:00:28,080
Speaker 1: every situation as different as you say, Ben UM. Sean

1183
01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:33,120
Speaker 1: has been UM ever since he was on it, UM

1184
01:00:33,400 --> 01:00:36,880
Speaker 1: very outspoken about his experience on Dancing with the Stars

1185
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:40,880
Speaker 1: UM and the challenges it brought to their relationship. Interestingly enough,

1186
01:00:40,960 --> 01:00:45,480
Speaker 1: Sean and I had the same partner. I've heard stories, UM,

1187
01:00:45,520 --> 01:00:47,680
Speaker 1: and that's not to say, you know, again, every relationship

1188
01:00:47,720 --> 01:00:50,240
Speaker 1: is different. UM. For all the challenges that Vanessa and

1189
01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:57,680
Speaker 1: I had UM our experience post filming the show itself,

1190
01:00:57,760 --> 01:01:01,160
Speaker 1: Bachelor was probably the most toxic part. And that's not

1191
01:01:01,200 --> 01:01:05,520
Speaker 1: to blame the show, it's just that's this inevitable. In fact,

1192
01:01:05,600 --> 01:01:10,440
Speaker 1: dancing for us was a huge lift for us. UM.

1193
01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:13,240
Speaker 1: The challenges that Sean and Catherine I had from dancing

1194
01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:18,240
Speaker 1: we didn't have. Vanessa was awesome in terms of being

1195
01:01:18,240 --> 01:01:21,320
Speaker 1: supportive on dancing. I think for both of us it

1196
01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:26,320
Speaker 1: was a really great new break UM from Bachelor World.

1197
01:01:26,520 --> 01:01:30,560
Speaker 1: And it was you know, Vanessa had been willing to

1198
01:01:30,600 --> 01:01:32,960
Speaker 1: come out to l A and we moved in together,

1199
01:01:33,160 --> 01:01:35,200
Speaker 1: and so she made a lot of friends on dancing

1200
01:01:35,480 --> 01:01:38,040
Speaker 1: UM and it was just incredibly great experience and it

1201
01:01:38,160 --> 01:01:41,680
Speaker 1: really gave us a nice little boost. Now again, that

1202
01:01:41,760 --> 01:01:45,840
Speaker 1: doesn't make us right or wrong. But it's sometimes frustrating

1203
01:01:45,880 --> 01:01:49,760
Speaker 1: to hear because, um it, it wasn't a positive experience

1204
01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:52,280
Speaker 1: for Sean to just assume that it will never be

1205
01:01:52,400 --> 01:01:54,440
Speaker 1: for otherwise. And then again, it's very easy to be like, well,

1206
01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:58,240
Speaker 1: well Nick did Dancing with the Stars and Vanessa and

1207
01:01:58,320 --> 01:02:01,120
Speaker 1: Nick broke up, and apparently Vanessa didn't pray to God

1208
01:02:01,160 --> 01:02:04,360
Speaker 1: as much as Sean and Catherine did. Um. You know,

1209
01:02:04,400 --> 01:02:06,520
Speaker 1: I'm you know, you're a very religious person. Then I

1210
01:02:06,560 --> 01:02:09,320
Speaker 1: grew up very religious and still have a strong faith,

1211
01:02:09,480 --> 01:02:12,520
Speaker 1: but I don't maybe talk about it as much. Um,

1212
01:02:12,600 --> 01:02:16,720
Speaker 1: so that can be frustrating. Um sometimes, because I think

1213
01:02:16,840 --> 01:02:18,760
Speaker 1: you know, Ben and I have talked about this. I'm

1214
01:02:19,040 --> 01:02:23,720
Speaker 1: incredibly envious and jealous of how lucky Sean and Catherine

1215
01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:26,400
Speaker 1: have been. And that's awesome that they have worked out,

1216
01:02:26,440 --> 01:02:29,600
Speaker 1: and you know, and I'm sure I think I've heard

1217
01:02:29,640 --> 01:02:32,960
Speaker 1: Sean I mentioned how lucky is that Katherine showed up,

1218
01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:36,800
Speaker 1: and I'm glad him, glad to see him say that,

1219
01:02:36,880 --> 01:02:39,240
Speaker 1: because um, they're there. It takes a lot of luck.

1220
01:02:39,360 --> 01:02:42,160
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's not easy, and it's really cool

1221
01:02:42,200 --> 01:02:44,200
Speaker 1: that they've been able to work out, and sometimes it's

1222
01:02:44,200 --> 01:02:50,680
Speaker 1: a little frustrating. Um, two. Uh to hear that person

1223
01:02:51,200 --> 01:02:54,040
Speaker 1: um act like they just did it better than everyone else.

1224
01:02:54,320 --> 01:02:56,720
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I mean, you know, I think

1225
01:02:56,760 --> 01:03:01,560
Speaker 1: you're on I think that's what I mean. I know, Um,

1226
01:03:01,600 --> 01:03:04,080
Speaker 1: I mean I know my personal experience, like we fought,

1227
01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:07,720
Speaker 1: like we fought hard to make this thing work, and uh,

1228
01:03:07,760 --> 01:03:09,840
Speaker 1: we gave it everything we could and it does. I mean,

1229
01:03:10,280 --> 01:03:13,920
Speaker 1: I think there isn't a formula. There isn't a cookie

1230
01:03:13,920 --> 01:03:17,000
Speaker 1: cutter formula to how this thing works and how it

1231
01:03:17,080 --> 01:03:20,760
Speaker 1: doesn't work. I mean, your relationship is unique and my

1232
01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:23,640
Speaker 1: relationship is unique, and the one thing we can do

1233
01:03:23,880 --> 01:03:26,600
Speaker 1: is lean on friends to first support and and advice

1234
01:03:26,720 --> 01:03:29,960
Speaker 1: when it's given. But this just that out for anybody,

1235
01:03:29,960 --> 01:03:33,080
Speaker 1: and I think fans of the show do this. You

1236
01:03:33,080 --> 01:03:35,600
Speaker 1: can see it on social media. You know, you could

1237
01:03:35,600 --> 01:03:38,640
Speaker 1: see it when our season was rapping for anybody to

1238
01:03:38,680 --> 01:03:43,560
Speaker 1: sit out there and claim that they know best. Um,

1239
01:03:43,800 --> 01:03:45,760
Speaker 1: most of the time those people don't. And I think

1240
01:03:45,800 --> 01:03:49,480
Speaker 1: that's where where I just care, maybe just offended, is Hey,

1241
01:03:49,800 --> 01:03:52,800
Speaker 1: you have no clue how it's hard we work. That

1242
01:03:52,880 --> 01:03:55,120
Speaker 1: makes it trying to make this relationship work, bachelor or not.

1243
01:03:55,680 --> 01:03:57,400
Speaker 1: If we take the bachelor out of it, this is

1244
01:03:57,400 --> 01:04:01,560
Speaker 1: a real relationship, just like I what to you. Yeah,

1245
01:04:01,560 --> 01:04:04,480
Speaker 1: I mean I think, I mean both of us. Um,

1246
01:04:04,560 --> 01:04:06,160
Speaker 1: we talked to a lot of friends. I think I

1247
01:04:06,200 --> 01:04:09,200
Speaker 1: know both of us. We all we we saw it

1248
01:04:09,720 --> 01:04:15,360
Speaker 1: professional relationship, counseling and and things like that. Um um

1249
01:04:15,360 --> 01:04:17,640
Speaker 1: it's ah yeah, And I think it's because it's a

1250
01:04:18,120 --> 01:04:20,160
Speaker 1: it is personal, and I think there's a lot of

1251
01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:24,600
Speaker 1: personal sadness when it doesn't work out. Um, it's it's

1252
01:04:24,840 --> 01:04:27,000
Speaker 1: you invest so much and then you have to kind

1253
01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:29,280
Speaker 1: of admit that maybe it's best for everyone to just

1254
01:04:29,400 --> 01:04:31,440
Speaker 1: as much as there's love there, to let each other go.

1255
01:04:31,560 --> 01:04:34,400
Speaker 1: It's it sucks to read things. And again, I I

1256
01:04:34,480 --> 01:04:37,680
Speaker 1: have to you know, I knew that, you know, I

1257
01:04:37,720 --> 01:04:40,520
Speaker 1: was pursuing acting before I was asked to be the Bachelor.

1258
01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:43,680
Speaker 1: I knew that because I wanted to do Dancing with

1259
01:04:43,720 --> 01:04:45,680
Speaker 1: the Stars and the fact that I was out in

1260
01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:49,560
Speaker 1: l A and continuing to pursue that post show, I

1261
01:04:49,640 --> 01:04:53,960
Speaker 1: was gonna set myself up for potential criticism of wanting

1262
01:04:53,960 --> 01:04:57,520
Speaker 1: to be famous or caring more about my career in

1263
01:04:57,600 --> 01:05:00,480
Speaker 1: my relationship with Vanessa. Um, and that's something that had

1264
01:05:00,480 --> 01:05:03,840
Speaker 1: to just accept. Vanessa was always again very supportive of that,

1265
01:05:04,480 --> 01:05:09,080
Speaker 1: um and was really a great in terms of supporting

1266
01:05:09,080 --> 01:05:13,480
Speaker 1: my ambitions, and hopefully I was for her. But um, yeah,

1267
01:05:13,560 --> 01:05:18,000
Speaker 1: it's it's it can be hurtful, um because yeah, a

1268
01:05:18,080 --> 01:05:22,840
Speaker 1: lot of people do make assumptions, and um, sometimes you

1269
01:05:23,200 --> 01:05:27,400
Speaker 1: things don't work out because sometimes two people can love

1270
01:05:27,400 --> 01:05:30,760
Speaker 1: each other and just not be really good at bring

1271
01:05:30,760 --> 01:05:33,240
Speaker 1: out the best in the other person. Sometimes there's compatibility

1272
01:05:33,240 --> 01:05:36,080
Speaker 1: issues and you know, um, you can really care for

1273
01:05:36,120 --> 01:05:42,240
Speaker 1: someone and just not be great at um being the

1274
01:05:42,240 --> 01:05:45,200
Speaker 1: best fit for them and and vice versa. And that happens.

1275
01:05:45,240 --> 01:05:47,880
Speaker 1: It happens a lot in relationships. And I think we

1276
01:05:47,960 --> 01:05:51,280
Speaker 1: all just hope that we're lucky enough to to meet

1277
01:05:51,320 --> 01:05:53,760
Speaker 1: that person who who does it for us and then

1278
01:05:53,920 --> 01:05:58,280
Speaker 1: we can all be happy. I mean, NICKI is usual,

1279
01:05:58,480 --> 01:06:01,760
Speaker 1: and it's what typical here is you speak truth, and

1280
01:06:01,920 --> 01:06:04,120
Speaker 1: you speak in a relatable way. And I think one thing,

1281
01:06:04,760 --> 01:06:07,360
Speaker 1: um that has always been helpful with me is the

1282
01:06:07,680 --> 01:06:11,760
Speaker 1: just truthful, honest advice that you've given not only to me,

1283
01:06:11,800 --> 01:06:15,360
Speaker 1: but just you know as a bachelor or as I've

1284
01:06:15,360 --> 01:06:18,080
Speaker 1: walked through this experience, and also your critiques of me,

1285
01:06:18,160 --> 01:06:21,920
Speaker 1: and you're honest, just your honest feedback Um, but I

1286
01:06:21,960 --> 01:06:24,600
Speaker 1: think that's how this world works and operates. You heard

1287
01:06:24,600 --> 01:06:26,360
Speaker 1: it with Astley and kevinet a little bit ago. Is

1288
01:06:26,360 --> 01:06:28,240
Speaker 1: whether two of them are so close to each other

1289
01:06:28,240 --> 01:06:30,600
Speaker 1: and they know they're going to live in this world together, um,

1290
01:06:30,600 --> 01:06:33,160
Speaker 1: where they're gonna be talked about publicly, that the best

1291
01:06:33,160 --> 01:06:35,720
Speaker 1: way to do is to sup pour each other through

1292
01:06:35,720 --> 01:06:37,800
Speaker 1: the stick and the thin. Um. And it's what we

1293
01:06:37,840 --> 01:06:40,320
Speaker 1: hope with Ari. Uh. You know, for all this being said,

1294
01:06:40,920 --> 01:06:43,720
Speaker 1: for any advice we've been given, or any advice that

1295
01:06:43,760 --> 01:06:46,720
Speaker 1: we haven't been given post bachelor, one thing we can

1296
01:06:46,720 --> 01:06:48,120
Speaker 1: tell our is we wish the best. I mean, he

1297
01:06:48,200 --> 01:06:51,440
Speaker 1: might not have done it perfect, none of us did, um,

1298
01:06:51,480 --> 01:06:56,400
Speaker 1: but we hope Uh. The ris relationship UH stands the

1299
01:06:56,440 --> 01:06:59,200
Speaker 1: test of time. UH. And one way we can take

1300
01:06:59,560 --> 01:07:03,360
Speaker 1: take our time is by checking out Movement watches uh. Nick.

1301
01:07:03,360 --> 01:07:05,520
Speaker 1: And actually I know you have heard uh us talk

1302
01:07:05,560 --> 01:07:10,800
Speaker 1: about Movement UH. We know it as mb MT, You know,

1303
01:07:10,880 --> 01:07:13,400
Speaker 1: those two college dropouts to start their own watch company.

1304
01:07:13,680 --> 01:07:17,480
Speaker 1: This company has grown like crazy and now with almost

1305
01:07:17,480 --> 01:07:20,600
Speaker 1: two million watches sold in a hundred and sixty plus countries.

1306
01:07:20,840 --> 01:07:24,520
Speaker 1: They continue to revolutionized fashion on the belief that style

1307
01:07:24,800 --> 01:07:26,960
Speaker 1: shouldn't break the bank. I don't know if you have

1308
01:07:27,080 --> 01:07:29,640
Speaker 1: checked out the sitelately, but if you haven't, they have

1309
01:07:29,800 --> 01:07:34,120
Speaker 1: doubled the number of watch styles and they are still expanding.

1310
01:07:34,680 --> 01:07:38,240
Speaker 1: Movement watches are all about looking good and keeping it simple.

1311
01:07:39,120 --> 01:07:42,440
Speaker 1: Movement watches don't tell you how many steps you've taken

1312
01:07:43,040 --> 01:07:46,000
Speaker 1: or blow your wrist up with text message, but it

1313
01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:48,560
Speaker 1: tells you time and it looks good doing it. Movement

1314
01:07:48,640 --> 01:07:51,520
Speaker 1: watched the start at this at his department store. You're

1315
01:07:51,560 --> 01:07:55,800
Speaker 1: looking at four five. Movement figured out that by selling

1316
01:07:55,800 --> 01:07:58,800
Speaker 1: online they're able to cut out the middleman and retail markup,

1317
01:07:59,160 --> 01:08:04,000
Speaker 1: providing the best possible price, classic design, quality construction and

1318
01:08:04,080 --> 01:08:07,560
Speaker 1: style of minimalism. Get fifteen person off today. That's even

1319
01:08:07,640 --> 01:08:09,680
Speaker 1: a better value than what we set before. So get

1320
01:08:09,680 --> 01:08:13,040
Speaker 1: fifteen person off the day with free shipping and free

1321
01:08:13,080 --> 01:08:17,280
Speaker 1: returns by going to m v MT dot com class

1322
01:08:17,439 --> 01:08:21,439
Speaker 1: almost Famous. See why Movement keeps growing. Check out their

1323
01:08:21,640 --> 01:08:24,240
Speaker 1: being the collection. Go to m v m T dot

1324
01:08:24,280 --> 01:08:28,360
Speaker 1: com Flash almost Famous. Join the movement. We all need

1325
01:08:28,400 --> 01:08:30,960
Speaker 1: to now, Ben, I know that you have to go,

1326
01:08:31,280 --> 01:08:33,320
Speaker 1: So I'm going to take over with Nick now and

1327
01:08:33,360 --> 01:08:37,479
Speaker 1: do some listener emails. Hey, that sounds awesome. Nick again,

1328
01:08:37,520 --> 01:08:39,679
Speaker 1: thank you for coming on, Thanks for being a good friend. Actually,

1329
01:08:40,800 --> 01:08:43,040
Speaker 1: I'm wishing you the best. I'll talk to you soon.

1330
01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:48,400
Speaker 1: Keep your head as girl. Thank you. Goodbye. Okay, bye guys, Nick,

1331
01:08:48,800 --> 01:08:53,880
Speaker 1: are you ready to do some relationship questions? People love

1332
01:08:54,560 --> 01:08:59,120
Speaker 1: people love relationship advice from you? Yes, they do. I mean,

1333
01:08:59,200 --> 01:09:04,439
Speaker 1: like I know the best track record publicly, however, you

1334
01:09:04,520 --> 01:09:10,400
Speaker 1: have great relationship advice. Thanks your fat handed compliment. Um.

1335
01:09:10,520 --> 01:09:13,960
Speaker 1: So Nick, last week we had an amazing email, like

1336
01:09:14,040 --> 01:09:17,960
Speaker 1: juicy one from this girl named anonymous. Was it amazing

1337
01:09:18,040 --> 01:09:20,559
Speaker 1: or well, it was juicy for us and like probably

1338
01:09:20,600 --> 01:09:24,800
Speaker 1: a horrible situation for her to be in personally. So basically, yes,

1339
01:09:25,000 --> 01:09:28,800
Speaker 1: she's been in a wonderful relationship for five years. She

1340
01:09:28,960 --> 01:09:33,240
Speaker 1: really adored. The problem. Okay, the problem is that there's

1341
01:09:33,280 --> 01:09:35,280
Speaker 1: this guy that she found. I think he may be

1342
01:09:35,360 --> 01:09:38,320
Speaker 1: at work. She has a mad crush on him, can't

1343
01:09:38,320 --> 01:09:41,599
Speaker 1: stop thinking about him, and she's thinking, what do I do?

1344
01:09:41,640 --> 01:09:43,920
Speaker 1: Should I not be having these feelings if it's right

1345
01:09:43,960 --> 01:09:47,200
Speaker 1: with my boyfriend? Or is it natural to have a crush.

1346
01:09:47,360 --> 01:09:50,080
Speaker 1: So we got a ton of emails back about this,

1347
01:09:50,439 --> 01:09:54,280
Speaker 1: and yeah, there are two schools of thought. Some people think, oh,

1348
01:09:54,360 --> 01:09:57,080
Speaker 1: this is totally human nature to develop a crush when

1349
01:09:57,120 --> 01:09:59,040
Speaker 1: you've been in a five year relationship, Like, it's just

1350
01:09:59,040 --> 01:10:01,240
Speaker 1: a crush, ignore it and be true to your man.

1351
01:10:01,439 --> 01:10:04,240
Speaker 1: And the other half are saying, if you're feeling these

1352
01:10:04,320 --> 01:10:07,400
Speaker 1: kinds of feelings, it's obviously not right with your boyfriend.

1353
01:10:07,640 --> 01:10:10,600
Speaker 1: What do you think? I think it is natural to

1354
01:10:11,600 --> 01:10:14,000
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not a big believer, as I've mentioned before,

1355
01:10:14,080 --> 01:10:17,760
Speaker 1: that there's a one only for anyone. I think it's

1356
01:10:17,880 --> 01:10:21,479
Speaker 1: very easy for people to be attracted to multiple people

1357
01:10:21,520 --> 01:10:22,720
Speaker 1: in a lot of different ways. It could be a

1358
01:10:22,720 --> 01:10:27,080
Speaker 1: physical attraction, could be an emotional connection. And obviously the

1359
01:10:27,120 --> 01:10:30,800
Speaker 1: beauty of being with someone in an exclusive relationship is

1360
01:10:30,880 --> 01:10:37,840
Speaker 1: that choice of saying no to those temptations that UM

1361
01:10:37,960 --> 01:10:40,200
Speaker 1: are are going to be constant, especially in a world

1362
01:10:40,200 --> 01:10:43,080
Speaker 1: like we have today, where things like social media and

1363
01:10:43,120 --> 01:10:47,679
Speaker 1: people's short attention spans make UM temptation that more prevalent.

1364
01:10:47,800 --> 01:10:50,680
Speaker 1: But UM, I guess it's just a matter of how

1365
01:10:50,760 --> 01:10:53,760
Speaker 1: much we indulge in it. I mean, I don't even

1366
01:10:53,760 --> 01:10:56,080
Speaker 1: dismiss the fact that this person went out of their

1367
01:10:56,120 --> 01:10:59,920
Speaker 1: way to right you guys, as much as they might

1368
01:11:00,080 --> 01:11:05,000
Speaker 1: seek the advice of of Ben and Ashley. Sure, but

1369
01:11:05,040 --> 01:11:07,479
Speaker 1: I mean it takes some actual I mean that this

1370
01:11:07,520 --> 01:11:12,080
Speaker 1: person is down a rabbit hole, they are suffering going

1371
01:11:12,200 --> 01:11:15,840
Speaker 1: anywhere for advice, so you know, you just kind of

1372
01:11:16,160 --> 01:11:18,160
Speaker 1: I think when it comes to things like temptation, you

1373
01:11:20,040 --> 01:11:21,880
Speaker 1: the mature thing to do, the right thing to do,

1374
01:11:22,000 --> 01:11:24,679
Speaker 1: is it's one thing to have temptation. It's you can't

1375
01:11:25,200 --> 01:11:27,760
Speaker 1: help but be attracted to people. Doesn't mean you're in

1376
01:11:27,800 --> 01:11:29,559
Speaker 1: love with them, doesn't mean you're going to act in

1377
01:11:29,560 --> 01:11:32,400
Speaker 1: any of those temptations. But you can be drawn to

1378
01:11:32,600 --> 01:11:34,360
Speaker 1: all sorts of people. You can be drawn to the

1379
01:11:34,400 --> 01:11:37,400
Speaker 1: people of the same sex without it being any type

1380
01:11:37,439 --> 01:11:40,200
Speaker 1: of romantic you know. You know, there's always things that

1381
01:11:40,240 --> 01:11:44,640
Speaker 1: attract us to other people. When it comes to um,

1382
01:11:44,680 --> 01:11:47,719
Speaker 1: you know, romantic involvement. Again, I think it's the mature

1383
01:11:47,800 --> 01:11:49,519
Speaker 1: thing to do is to not act on it, to

1384
01:11:49,560 --> 01:11:52,640
Speaker 1: not indulge in it, to not you know, pine on

1385
01:11:52,720 --> 01:11:54,840
Speaker 1: the thought of this person, the fact that this person

1386
01:11:54,960 --> 01:11:57,439
Speaker 1: is wondering, you know what should I do. I think

1387
01:11:57,479 --> 01:11:59,719
Speaker 1: there's something there that they might need to explore because

1388
01:11:59,760 --> 01:12:04,880
Speaker 1: maybe maybe their quote unquote amazing relationship isn't so amazing. So,

1389
01:12:05,160 --> 01:12:08,400
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's hard to say with you think, well,

1390
01:12:08,400 --> 01:12:10,479
Speaker 1: it's hard to say with such little information, I would

1391
01:12:10,600 --> 01:12:13,679
Speaker 1: love to kind of ask questions about this person's amazing

1392
01:12:13,720 --> 01:12:16,200
Speaker 1: relationship and find out if it is in fact amazing.

1393
01:12:16,240 --> 01:12:20,000
Speaker 1: But um, but the law, you know, I think it

1394
01:12:20,040 --> 01:12:23,920
Speaker 1: just comes down to it's one thing to have sensations

1395
01:12:24,040 --> 01:12:26,599
Speaker 1: and to be attracted to people in whatever way it's

1396
01:12:26,680 --> 01:12:29,559
Speaker 1: it's quite another to act on it. And sometimes we

1397
01:12:30,400 --> 01:12:33,559
Speaker 1: play with fire and and sometimes we get burnt. Well

1398
01:12:33,640 --> 01:12:37,400
Speaker 1: speaking about, um, you know, emotionally cheating. This is an

1399
01:12:37,400 --> 01:12:40,800
Speaker 1: email from Katie in response to anonymous email. She says, hey,

1400
01:12:40,840 --> 01:12:43,559
Speaker 1: Been and Ashley love the podcast and not normally want

1401
01:12:43,640 --> 01:12:47,000
Speaker 1: to email in, but after hearing actually read the anonymous email,

1402
01:12:47,000 --> 01:12:49,759
Speaker 1: I had to write in. For anyone who feels similar

1403
01:12:49,800 --> 01:12:52,479
Speaker 1: to anonymous in a long term relationship but has feelings

1404
01:12:52,479 --> 01:12:56,040
Speaker 1: for another person, emotional cheating is still cheating, and it

1405
01:12:56,080 --> 01:12:58,639
Speaker 1: can be more hurtful than a one night stand. You're

1406
01:12:58,760 --> 01:13:01,679
Speaker 1: opening yourself up into really to another person, sharing parts

1407
01:13:01,720 --> 01:13:04,960
Speaker 1: of yourself that should be reserved for your partner. Please

1408
01:13:05,000 --> 01:13:08,040
Speaker 1: don't think that sending friendly messages to a person you

1409
01:13:08,120 --> 01:13:14,240
Speaker 1: have feelings for is innocent or not. In no, I

1410
01:13:14,280 --> 01:13:16,519
Speaker 1: think I think Katie's jumping the gun here. I don't

1411
01:13:16,520 --> 01:13:20,920
Speaker 1: think that anonymous is emotionally cheating. Um. She just seems

1412
01:13:20,920 --> 01:13:23,599
Speaker 1: to be like kind of admiring more from afar Um.

1413
01:13:23,760 --> 01:13:26,479
Speaker 1: She continued to say. If that message couldn't be in

1414
01:13:26,520 --> 01:13:29,240
Speaker 1: a group message with where your significant other, it should

1415
01:13:29,240 --> 01:13:32,880
Speaker 1: not be done at all. I mean, I agree in

1416
01:13:32,920 --> 01:13:36,479
Speaker 1: the sense that, again, we can't help who we sometimes

1417
01:13:36,520 --> 01:13:40,160
Speaker 1: thoughts pop in our head. But you know, again, that

1418
01:13:40,240 --> 01:13:42,360
Speaker 1: emotional cheating comes in when that person is like, well,

1419
01:13:42,439 --> 01:13:45,160
Speaker 1: I'm I would never cheat, I would never you know,

1420
01:13:45,160 --> 01:13:47,559
Speaker 1: hook up with someone. But then they you know, they

1421
01:13:47,640 --> 01:13:51,360
Speaker 1: might send a text, be like what's up. You know, hey,

1422
01:13:51,400 --> 01:13:53,240
Speaker 1: it was good to see you today or whatever. They

1423
01:13:53,280 --> 01:13:56,040
Speaker 1: just kind of keep that that dialogue open and they're

1424
01:13:56,160 --> 01:13:59,640
Speaker 1: again they're playing with fire, and maybe that stops there. Uh,

1425
01:14:00,000 --> 01:14:02,719
Speaker 1: maybe that person responds back and all of a sudden,

1426
01:14:03,240 --> 01:14:06,759
Speaker 1: they're grabbing coffee together just as quote unquote friends or whatever,

1427
01:14:06,920 --> 01:14:09,479
Speaker 1: maybe to start hanging out more, and those things escalate

1428
01:14:09,600 --> 01:14:13,599
Speaker 1: even further. So it just depends on, um, how much

1429
01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:16,639
Speaker 1: anyone person is going to kind of act on again

1430
01:14:16,680 --> 01:14:20,599
Speaker 1: these emotions and and do anything. I think what Katie's

1431
01:14:20,600 --> 01:14:23,360
Speaker 1: referring to, right now is what I said. I think

1432
01:14:23,680 --> 01:14:26,320
Speaker 1: I don't know. She's not married to her five year boyfriend.

1433
01:14:26,640 --> 01:14:28,720
Speaker 1: Maybe she needs to just get to know this guy

1434
01:14:28,760 --> 01:14:30,680
Speaker 1: a little bit more to make sure that it's just

1435
01:14:30,840 --> 01:14:35,120
Speaker 1: an infatuation and not really something that she wants to

1436
01:14:35,120 --> 01:14:37,599
Speaker 1: be Well, no, I don't think confirmed that she doesn't

1437
01:14:37,640 --> 01:14:41,040
Speaker 1: really want to be with this guy. I disagree. I

1438
01:14:41,080 --> 01:14:43,320
Speaker 1: think the right and noble thing to do that if

1439
01:14:43,360 --> 01:14:46,200
Speaker 1: she has any doubt whatsoever that this current relationship isn't

1440
01:14:46,200 --> 01:14:48,599
Speaker 1: the one for her, but she thinks the current relationship

1441
01:14:48,680 --> 01:14:51,599
Speaker 1: is the one for well, it doesn't sound like she's

1442
01:14:51,640 --> 01:14:53,840
Speaker 1: so sure. I think maybe she should take a step back,

1443
01:14:54,040 --> 01:14:58,000
Speaker 1: try to distance her thoughts from this guy and really

1444
01:14:58,360 --> 01:15:01,120
Speaker 1: be honest with herself and explore this current relationship. And

1445
01:15:01,160 --> 01:15:03,160
Speaker 1: I think if she's going to be in this relationship

1446
01:15:03,840 --> 01:15:08,599
Speaker 1: and at any point she should really, you know, take

1447
01:15:08,640 --> 01:15:10,920
Speaker 1: a look in the mirror and really instead of just

1448
01:15:11,840 --> 01:15:13,960
Speaker 1: casually be like it's I'm an amazing relationship. Maybe it

1449
01:15:14,000 --> 01:15:16,400
Speaker 1: was amazing. Maybe she's a lot of times people are

1450
01:15:16,439 --> 01:15:19,000
Speaker 1: in relationships, and if they're in a long term relationship,

1451
01:15:19,920 --> 01:15:23,559
Speaker 1: they most of the strength of the relationship is often

1452
01:15:23,600 --> 01:15:26,040
Speaker 1: like kind of built on the the first six months

1453
01:15:26,040 --> 01:15:29,360
Speaker 1: of it, right, the honeymoon phase. And you know, it

1454
01:15:29,400 --> 01:15:31,400
Speaker 1: happens with a lot of relationships. But you know, sometimes

1455
01:15:31,400 --> 01:15:34,120
Speaker 1: people will be in a year, year and a half,

1456
01:15:34,120 --> 01:15:36,599
Speaker 1: two years relationship and they'll have some problems and they

1457
01:15:36,600 --> 01:15:38,720
Speaker 1: stay together. They love each other and they're used to

1458
01:15:38,760 --> 01:15:41,000
Speaker 1: each other, comfortable with each other, but most of the

1459
01:15:41,040 --> 01:15:43,880
Speaker 1: good doesn't happen anymore. It only happened in the in

1460
01:15:43,920 --> 01:15:46,000
Speaker 1: the first five months. But maybe they like the way

1461
01:15:46,040 --> 01:15:48,880
Speaker 1: they look together. Maybe they've just told themselves this is

1462
01:15:48,880 --> 01:15:52,040
Speaker 1: whom gonna end up with. And and sometimes people, um

1463
01:15:52,040 --> 01:15:54,920
Speaker 1: realize they're not really happy, you know, but they they

1464
01:15:55,000 --> 01:15:57,639
Speaker 1: will outwardly when they talk, Oh I love my boyfriend,

1465
01:15:57,680 --> 01:16:00,200
Speaker 1: I love my girlfriend. Maybe that's not the case. You know,

1466
01:16:00,200 --> 01:16:04,439
Speaker 1: there is a reason why, um, you are so drawn

1467
01:16:04,439 --> 01:16:07,760
Speaker 1: to someone. I think there's a big difference between you know,

1468
01:16:08,439 --> 01:16:10,600
Speaker 1: walking down the street or going into work and and

1469
01:16:10,640 --> 01:16:15,519
Speaker 1: seeing some of the success sex um and saying, wow,

1470
01:16:15,520 --> 01:16:19,519
Speaker 1: that's that's an attractive person and they're charming and you know,

1471
01:16:19,560 --> 01:16:21,280
Speaker 1: if well, if I were if I were single, that

1472
01:16:21,720 --> 01:16:24,080
Speaker 1: what a catch. You know, that's that that can happen.

1473
01:16:24,160 --> 01:16:26,000
Speaker 1: But this person is not doing This person is going

1474
01:16:26,040 --> 01:16:28,920
Speaker 1: they're obsessing their pining, and there's a reason for that,

1475
01:16:29,000 --> 01:16:30,920
Speaker 1: and I doubt it's just because this other person is

1476
01:16:30,920 --> 01:16:33,760
Speaker 1: so fantastic. It probably there's probably something going on in

1477
01:16:33,760 --> 01:16:35,880
Speaker 1: their current relationship that they're they're not being honest with

1478
01:16:35,920 --> 01:16:39,280
Speaker 1: themselves about. So I would say explore that first, do

1479
01:16:39,360 --> 01:16:41,600
Speaker 1: the right thing and don't make it. Don't be a

1480
01:16:41,600 --> 01:16:46,080
Speaker 1: monkey swinging from one branch to another. Um, focus on

1481
01:16:46,080 --> 01:16:49,880
Speaker 1: the relationship that you're in just to play devil's advocate. Um.

1482
01:16:50,360 --> 01:16:52,320
Speaker 1: Don't you feel like there's so many couples out there

1483
01:16:52,360 --> 01:16:55,479
Speaker 1: that like, we're strongly with somebody and then they didn't

1484
01:16:55,520 --> 01:16:58,080
Speaker 1: realize that like the love of their life would be

1485
01:16:58,120 --> 01:17:00,400
Speaker 1: even grander when they just came a long And of

1486
01:17:00,439 --> 01:17:02,519
Speaker 1: course they came along while they were still with the

1487
01:17:02,560 --> 01:17:06,479
Speaker 1: other person. Sure that can happen, but again, do the

1488
01:17:06,560 --> 01:17:12,360
Speaker 1: right thing. That's emotionally cheat or it's not to your

1489
01:17:12,360 --> 01:17:15,240
Speaker 1: toes in a different pond to see if you like

1490
01:17:15,360 --> 01:17:17,919
Speaker 1: the temperature. Okay, so you're like you've got a complete

1491
01:17:17,920 --> 01:17:21,440
Speaker 1: one before going on obviously, Well, thank you for that's

1492
01:17:21,439 --> 01:17:24,280
Speaker 1: what adults do. Thank you. Yes, Um, this one from

1493
01:17:25,560 --> 01:17:30,519
Speaker 1: Yes that's very accurate from Taylor. I was listening to

1494
01:17:30,520 --> 01:17:32,680
Speaker 1: the podcast, and my heart dropped when I heard the

1495
01:17:32,720 --> 01:17:35,360
Speaker 1: anonymous email, and I had to share my story. I

1496
01:17:35,400 --> 01:17:37,800
Speaker 1: did in my high school sweetheart for seven years, even

1497
01:17:37,840 --> 01:17:40,200
Speaker 1: though through four of those years we were going to

1498
01:17:40,240 --> 01:17:43,280
Speaker 1: different colleges. However, our last year together, I started to

1499
01:17:43,280 --> 01:17:45,000
Speaker 1: develop a crush out of guy that I met on

1500
01:17:45,040 --> 01:17:47,320
Speaker 1: a spring break trip my senior year, and I decided

1501
01:17:47,360 --> 01:17:50,200
Speaker 1: that I just couldn't continue my current relationship. I knew

1502
01:17:50,240 --> 01:17:52,160
Speaker 1: it wasn't fair that he was all in and I

1503
01:17:52,240 --> 01:17:54,960
Speaker 1: was only happen so I love the person I had

1504
01:17:55,000 --> 01:17:57,519
Speaker 1: loved for seven years. It was so hard to explain,

1505
01:17:57,560 --> 01:18:00,160
Speaker 1: but to this day, I still can't explain it. There

1506
01:18:00,240 --> 01:18:02,519
Speaker 1: was nothing wrong about him, nothing I would have changed

1507
01:18:02,520 --> 01:18:04,519
Speaker 1: about him, but in my heart, I just knew it

1508
01:18:04,560 --> 01:18:07,400
Speaker 1: wasn't right. Two years later, I'm happily engaged to my

1509
01:18:07,439 --> 01:18:10,000
Speaker 1: soul mate, and I couldn't be happier. It is not

1510
01:18:10,120 --> 01:18:12,439
Speaker 1: the act, not the crush from spring break, but somebody new.

1511
01:18:12,720 --> 01:18:14,320
Speaker 1: I just want this girl to know that she's not

1512
01:18:14,360 --> 01:18:16,479
Speaker 1: the only one who has been in the situation, and

1513
01:18:16,479 --> 01:18:19,120
Speaker 1: that there might not even be anything truly wrong with

1514
01:18:19,160 --> 01:18:21,920
Speaker 1: her relationship. I just searched for months to find a

1515
01:18:22,000 --> 01:18:25,080
Speaker 1: reason why things didn't work, and I felt extremely, extremely

1516
01:18:25,080 --> 01:18:27,280
Speaker 1: guilty for hurting someone who I thought was I thought

1517
01:18:27,360 --> 01:18:30,280
Speaker 1: so highly of. I finally had to just forgive myself

1518
01:18:30,360 --> 01:18:32,760
Speaker 1: be confident in my decision and God's plan for me.

1519
01:18:33,160 --> 01:18:36,080
Speaker 1: Sometimes your heart just knows that God has someone out

1520
01:18:36,080 --> 01:18:38,719
Speaker 1: there for you. That being said, I will also advise

1521
01:18:38,800 --> 01:18:41,679
Speaker 1: her to not think long and hard about it. Oh,

1522
01:18:41,880 --> 01:18:44,599
Speaker 1: advise her to think hard and long about it and

1523
01:18:44,680 --> 01:18:47,120
Speaker 1: be prepared that in no way will it be easy

1524
01:18:47,160 --> 01:18:52,280
Speaker 1: if she does decide to leave her boyfriend of five years. Well, yeah,

1525
01:18:52,320 --> 01:18:56,360
Speaker 1: I mean short answer. Yeah, you know, my very first

1526
01:18:56,360 --> 01:19:00,120
Speaker 1: relationship when I we date it off and on for

1527
01:19:00,200 --> 01:19:04,200
Speaker 1: seven years. Part of first relationship is you just don't

1528
01:19:04,240 --> 01:19:07,280
Speaker 1: know anything else. You know. It was so hard for

1529
01:19:07,320 --> 01:19:09,080
Speaker 1: me to get over my first love because I didn't

1530
01:19:09,520 --> 01:19:10,680
Speaker 1: and I didn't know what I was like to love

1531
01:19:10,680 --> 01:19:15,760
Speaker 1: anyone else in that way. Um. And yeah, some it's

1532
01:19:16,040 --> 01:19:18,840
Speaker 1: especially it's not nineteen fifteen anymore. You know. Back in

1533
01:19:18,880 --> 01:19:21,080
Speaker 1: the day, you would meet someone in your early twenties,

1534
01:19:21,120 --> 01:19:23,960
Speaker 1: you'd fall in love and be like, well, let's let's

1535
01:19:24,000 --> 01:19:27,360
Speaker 1: get married. Um, it's just a different time. And so

1536
01:19:27,439 --> 01:19:32,800
Speaker 1: again with just the way society is for better or worse. Um. Sometimes,

1537
01:19:32,960 --> 01:19:34,679
Speaker 1: you know, most people don't end up with their first

1538
01:19:34,680 --> 01:19:36,720
Speaker 1: loves anymore, and it's probably a good thing because we

1539
01:19:36,920 --> 01:19:40,040
Speaker 1: mature and grow as individuals. I think people now mature

1540
01:19:40,439 --> 01:19:42,840
Speaker 1: later in life. They mature more and more in their

1541
01:19:42,840 --> 01:19:46,400
Speaker 1: twenties and they I think they did back then. And

1542
01:19:47,600 --> 01:19:51,040
Speaker 1: you can love someone, um and have them not be

1543
01:19:51,080 --> 01:19:55,040
Speaker 1: the one, and sometimes it's maybe better to you know,

1544
01:19:55,360 --> 01:19:57,679
Speaker 1: let something go and see if it's really worth coming back.

1545
01:19:57,760 --> 01:19:59,800
Speaker 1: You know that old saying if you love something said

1546
01:19:59,840 --> 01:20:03,920
Speaker 1: it reason to speak. There's some truth to that. So yeah,

1547
01:20:03,960 --> 01:20:06,040
Speaker 1: I mean, do we know how old Anonymous is? By

1548
01:20:06,040 --> 01:20:09,120
Speaker 1: the way, I think she's in her twenties, you know.

1549
01:20:09,360 --> 01:20:12,720
Speaker 1: And so like dating, I mean, when you get older,

1550
01:20:13,240 --> 01:20:16,120
Speaker 1: the good part about dating is you, through failed relationships,

1551
01:20:16,120 --> 01:20:18,760
Speaker 1: have a better idea of what you want. You know.

1552
01:20:19,040 --> 01:20:22,599
Speaker 1: The bad part about that is things become less romantic

1553
01:20:22,640 --> 01:20:24,680
Speaker 1: in a way. When you're young, you fall in love,

1554
01:20:24,680 --> 01:20:27,360
Speaker 1: You're like, I love you, let's let's date. You know.

1555
01:20:27,400 --> 01:20:31,160
Speaker 1: When you're older, I think you, um, it's like, well,

1556
01:20:31,160 --> 01:20:33,479
Speaker 1: I've dated someone like this before, I'd like someone this before.

1557
01:20:33,560 --> 01:20:36,880
Speaker 1: It's harder to just fall in love overnight, you know.

1558
01:20:36,960 --> 01:20:39,680
Speaker 1: I used to be someone who fell really quickly, and

1559
01:20:39,760 --> 01:20:44,639
Speaker 1: now for me, it's harder because a more objective because

1560
01:20:44,680 --> 01:20:47,720
Speaker 1: I've just I've been in you know, handful of relationships

1561
01:20:47,760 --> 01:20:50,679
Speaker 1: were I don't just jump in and when you're younger,

1562
01:20:50,800 --> 01:20:55,000
Speaker 1: just like it's so easy to become infatuated. Is that

1563
01:20:55,040 --> 01:20:58,280
Speaker 1: like from fear of being heartbroken? I don't really believe

1564
01:20:58,280 --> 01:21:00,360
Speaker 1: in that. I don't get that fear. I don't have that. No.

1565
01:21:00,640 --> 01:21:03,160
Speaker 1: I mean it's not a fear of being heartbroken. It's

1566
01:21:03,200 --> 01:21:07,400
Speaker 1: more of a you're just you know more and you're

1567
01:21:07,479 --> 01:21:10,360
Speaker 1: kind of almost in a way, it sounds almost unrematched.

1568
01:21:10,400 --> 01:21:15,720
Speaker 1: I think you you've the the excitement or the there

1569
01:21:15,800 --> 01:21:18,040
Speaker 1: is something that's missing when you get older, when like

1570
01:21:18,080 --> 01:21:19,840
Speaker 1: when you're younger, you just don't know. It's like you

1571
01:21:19,880 --> 01:21:23,280
Speaker 1: meet someone, you're like, this is what is this feeling? Great?

1572
01:21:23,439 --> 01:21:25,759
Speaker 1: I have a whole I don't get a podcast about

1573
01:21:25,880 --> 01:21:29,280
Speaker 1: that feeling and how you kind of stop feeling it

1574
01:21:29,320 --> 01:21:34,000
Speaker 1: no matter who comes into your life. You're like, wait,

1575
01:21:34,040 --> 01:21:37,320
Speaker 1: I miss that like seeing my crush in the hallway feeling.

1576
01:21:37,360 --> 01:21:39,920
Speaker 1: I can't replicate it these days. It's harder. It's it's

1577
01:21:40,240 --> 01:21:42,960
Speaker 1: it's it's the benefit of having perspective. I think it's

1578
01:21:42,960 --> 01:21:45,960
Speaker 1: important to have perspective, but sometimes perspective makes life a

1579
01:21:45,960 --> 01:21:49,439
Speaker 1: little less fun, you know, because you butterflies, they're not

1580
01:21:49,479 --> 01:21:53,200
Speaker 1: as big anymore. The the idea I think is hopefully

1581
01:21:53,240 --> 01:21:56,200
Speaker 1: that you, um, if you ever are lucky enough to

1582
01:21:56,200 --> 01:21:59,439
Speaker 1: get those butterflies, as you gain perspective in life, that

1583
01:21:59,520 --> 01:22:03,160
Speaker 1: it will be more genuine and long lasting. Um. But

1584
01:22:03,240 --> 01:22:06,400
Speaker 1: I think, you know, as you gain more perspective and maturity,

1585
01:22:06,520 --> 01:22:09,040
Speaker 1: it's it's you might have the initial butterflies, but then

1586
01:22:09,080 --> 01:22:11,439
Speaker 1: there's then there's that you know thought in your head

1587
01:22:11,439 --> 01:22:13,840
Speaker 1: that's well, I mean, is this really what I think

1588
01:22:13,920 --> 01:22:17,599
Speaker 1: it is? Or you know, I've I've had this feeling

1589
01:22:17,640 --> 01:22:20,639
Speaker 1: before and this person they're sure, they sure are similar

1590
01:22:20,680 --> 01:22:23,600
Speaker 1: to that other person. You know kind of thing. You

1591
01:22:23,400 --> 01:22:25,880
Speaker 1: you take a step back and you're you know, when

1592
01:22:25,880 --> 01:22:27,960
Speaker 1: you're young, you're just like, let's do this. You know,

1593
01:22:28,000 --> 01:22:30,519
Speaker 1: you just kind of fall you you have more, you

1594
01:22:30,520 --> 01:22:33,840
Speaker 1: have less reservations and less inhibitions or more is it

1595
01:22:33,920 --> 01:22:36,400
Speaker 1: more inhibitions less I don't know. Yeah, and when you

1596
01:22:36,400 --> 01:22:39,240
Speaker 1: get across you're like, oh yeah, fun instead of like,

1597
01:22:39,280 --> 01:22:44,080
Speaker 1: oh man, where is this gonna go? Alright, So we

1598
01:22:44,120 --> 01:22:47,200
Speaker 1: have a question that just through skimming through it seems

1599
01:22:47,240 --> 01:22:50,799
Speaker 1: like it was almost directed at you. Nick to um answer.

1600
01:22:51,400 --> 01:22:54,639
Speaker 1: This is from Lauren, Hey, Benn, and n Ashley love

1601
01:22:54,720 --> 01:22:57,760
Speaker 1: the podcast. Thanks for being my entertainment during my two

1602
01:22:57,880 --> 01:23:02,040
Speaker 1: hour daily commute. Darn all, that's long. I was curious

1603
01:23:02,040 --> 01:23:05,120
Speaker 1: to see what your thoughts were about why Becca agreed

1604
01:23:05,160 --> 01:23:08,040
Speaker 1: to be the bachelorette. Honestly, if it were me, I

1605
01:23:08,040 --> 01:23:11,240
Speaker 1: would feel betrayed by the producers for ambushing me with

1606
01:23:11,360 --> 01:23:14,519
Speaker 1: cameras during the relations During the breakup, not to mention,

1607
01:23:14,720 --> 01:23:17,479
Speaker 1: there were producers asking her on the interview before already

1608
01:23:17,560 --> 01:23:19,840
Speaker 1: got there if she was in love with him and

1609
01:23:20,000 --> 01:23:23,400
Speaker 1: how she felt about the ring, and those producers knew

1610
01:23:23,400 --> 01:23:26,280
Speaker 1: exactly what was going to happen. I know that's the

1611
01:23:26,280 --> 01:23:29,320
Speaker 1: producer's job to make entertaining TV, but I just don't

1612
01:23:29,320 --> 01:23:31,479
Speaker 1: see how Becca could say yes to being the bachelor

1613
01:23:31,479 --> 01:23:34,599
Speaker 1: at after producers betrayed her like that. I would feel

1614
01:23:34,640 --> 01:23:38,200
Speaker 1: like they would have not been having my best interests

1615
01:23:38,240 --> 01:23:41,639
Speaker 1: at heart. You too, always say that producers are good people,

1616
01:23:42,040 --> 01:23:44,120
Speaker 1: so I'd like to know what you think is a

1617
01:23:44,200 --> 01:23:48,080
Speaker 1: justification for filming the breakup. We know Ariside just wondering

1618
01:23:48,520 --> 01:23:50,639
Speaker 1: what made the producers think that this was a good idea.

1619
01:23:50,720 --> 01:23:54,240
Speaker 1: Thank you for your insight, Lauren s not be Hey, hey, Nick,

1620
01:23:54,680 --> 01:23:58,559
Speaker 1: you've had some very rough experiences. You got down on

1621
01:23:58,560 --> 01:24:03,840
Speaker 1: one knee. Well lean never partically never practically never, But

1622
01:24:03,960 --> 01:24:07,519
Speaker 1: like you about you were about to lean with with Vanesse.

1623
01:24:07,600 --> 01:24:10,519
Speaker 1: I did, but yes, but yes I didn't pick out

1624
01:24:10,520 --> 01:24:13,760
Speaker 1: a ring with Andy, and yes I was prepared with

1625
01:24:13,760 --> 01:24:17,719
Speaker 1: with Kay. Obviously. You know we have been in Bachelor World.

1626
01:24:18,720 --> 01:24:21,960
Speaker 1: We we have a lot of friends who are producers. Um.

1627
01:24:22,000 --> 01:24:24,240
Speaker 1: That's not to say that both of us and Ben

1628
01:24:24,280 --> 01:24:29,000
Speaker 1: haven't had our frustrations with the show. It's a different world. Um.

1629
01:24:29,040 --> 01:24:31,800
Speaker 1: A lot of people had some strong opinions about the

1630
01:24:31,840 --> 01:24:35,320
Speaker 1: finale and the filming on the breakup. People tend to

1631
01:24:35,360 --> 01:24:39,320
Speaker 1: always overreact. Um. I always find it funny all the people,

1632
01:24:39,600 --> 01:24:42,439
Speaker 1: including a lot of people who are part of bast Nation,

1633
01:24:42,800 --> 01:24:46,000
Speaker 1: are tweeting about how this is terrible for them to film,

1634
01:24:46,080 --> 01:24:49,439
Speaker 1: yet they're all watching it. Um, you know we know

1635
01:24:49,520 --> 01:24:54,679
Speaker 1: one it was. I mean, if you were to read Twitter,

1636
01:24:54,800 --> 01:24:57,960
Speaker 1: it was if The Bachelor was airing someone being murdered

1637
01:24:58,040 --> 01:25:01,240
Speaker 1: or something, and it is it was a fairly outrageous

1638
01:25:01,280 --> 01:25:05,280
Speaker 1: reaction to well, something a little bit personal, you know,

1639
01:25:05,600 --> 01:25:10,879
Speaker 1: and it's an interesting world in UM again it well,

1640
01:25:11,120 --> 01:25:13,520
Speaker 1: Becca seemed to be okay with it. She's now the batcherette.

1641
01:25:13,520 --> 01:25:16,000
Speaker 1: There's a couple whether you agreed, and I certainly have

1642
01:25:16,040 --> 01:25:19,120
Speaker 1: some thoughts on it right whether you whether you agreed

1643
01:25:19,200 --> 01:25:23,760
Speaker 1: with UM. The producers are ari for doing what they did,

1644
01:25:24,400 --> 01:25:28,200
Speaker 1: and certainly it's easy to criticize some aspects. There's a

1645
01:25:28,200 --> 01:25:32,880
Speaker 1: couple of facts that I think you can't argue. One

1646
01:25:33,000 --> 01:25:36,679
Speaker 1: is last Monday, before the premiere. I think the general

1647
01:25:36,720 --> 01:25:41,000
Speaker 1: thought of Becca was Bachelor Nation liked her. It was like,

1648
01:25:41,400 --> 01:25:44,040
Speaker 1: she's nice, she seems like a sweet girl. She didn't

1649
01:25:44,080 --> 01:25:48,080
Speaker 1: have UM a ton of air time, and everyone liked her.

1650
01:25:48,479 --> 01:25:51,880
Speaker 1: On Tuesday morning, everyone loved her. Everyone was obsessed with her,

1651
01:25:51,960 --> 01:25:55,599
Speaker 1: and rightfully so, because she handled a very difficult situation

1652
01:25:55,640 --> 01:25:59,080
Speaker 1: with a lot of poise and maturity and class and strength,

1653
01:25:59,120 --> 01:26:01,960
Speaker 1: and everyone, you know, kind of felt for her. And

1654
01:26:03,160 --> 01:26:07,320
Speaker 1: you know, it's I'm assuming Becca woke up Tuesday morning

1655
01:26:07,400 --> 01:26:11,320
Speaker 1: feeling pretty good about herself, and she should. And you know,

1656
01:26:11,360 --> 01:26:17,240
Speaker 1: it's weird because in that world sometimes the show UM,

1657
01:26:17,479 --> 01:26:20,439
Speaker 1: we'll do things that in the moment, you will feel

1658
01:26:20,520 --> 01:26:23,200
Speaker 1: betrayed by them and you will feel hurt and it

1659
01:26:23,240 --> 01:26:26,320
Speaker 1: will have a personal impact on your life, only to

1660
01:26:26,439 --> 01:26:30,080
Speaker 1: later realize that, well it might have sucked to go through.

1661
01:26:30,640 --> 01:26:35,120
Speaker 1: You appreciate, um, some of the fallout of that, and i' becca,

1662
01:26:35,200 --> 01:26:37,360
Speaker 1: I'm sure it's no different. And then I had the

1663
01:26:37,400 --> 01:26:42,320
Speaker 1: same experience on Caitlin season. Um, you know when I

1664
01:26:42,320 --> 01:26:44,960
Speaker 1: I won't get into the details, but um, you know,

1665
01:26:45,000 --> 01:26:48,640
Speaker 1: obviously I showed up on Caitlyn season simply because of

1666
01:26:48,680 --> 01:26:51,080
Speaker 1: a pre existing relationship we had. And from the moment

1667
01:26:51,120 --> 01:26:54,519
Speaker 1: I showed up on on Caitlyn season, Um, there are

1668
01:26:54,520 --> 01:26:56,599
Speaker 1: a lot of things that went down between her and

1669
01:26:56,640 --> 01:26:59,759
Speaker 1: I off camera that were said or or that happened

1670
01:27:00,000 --> 01:27:01,920
Speaker 1: at continue to give me more and more confidence. And

1671
01:27:01,920 --> 01:27:04,880
Speaker 1: I remember throughout the process a lot of which was

1672
01:27:04,960 --> 01:27:09,360
Speaker 1: off camera, constantly telling Caitlin, listen, you know, I'm only

1673
01:27:09,360 --> 01:27:11,840
Speaker 1: here for for you, so if you don't end up

1674
01:27:11,880 --> 01:27:15,160
Speaker 1: with me, please just send me home as soon as possible. Now,

1675
01:27:15,200 --> 01:27:17,720
Speaker 1: obviously that didn't happen. She took me all the way

1676
01:27:17,760 --> 01:27:20,960
Speaker 1: to the end, up to the point where I asked

1677
01:27:20,960 --> 01:27:24,479
Speaker 1: her father's permission to get engaged. I picked out a ring.

1678
01:27:24,680 --> 01:27:27,960
Speaker 1: I planned a whole speech, I delivered that speech, and

1679
01:27:27,960 --> 01:27:31,000
Speaker 1: then right before I got down on my knees, she

1680
01:27:31,120 --> 01:27:35,519
Speaker 1: broke up with me. Now, in the moment, I was hurt.

1681
01:27:35,680 --> 01:27:41,080
Speaker 1: I was incredibly angry at Caitlin, and um, you know,

1682
01:27:41,120 --> 01:27:43,839
Speaker 1: I remember feeling just all this anger, and I remember

1683
01:27:43,880 --> 01:27:46,720
Speaker 1: some of the producers, you know, saying, listen, don't be

1684
01:27:46,760 --> 01:27:50,080
Speaker 1: angry with her. Obviously, I knew the producers had probably

1685
01:27:50,160 --> 01:27:53,960
Speaker 1: encouraged her to take it that far. Um, And it

1686
01:27:54,040 --> 01:27:56,639
Speaker 1: was all said and done. The reality is is that

1687
01:27:57,080 --> 01:28:01,320
Speaker 1: if Caitlin had not taken me that far, I probably

1688
01:28:01,320 --> 01:28:03,439
Speaker 1: would never would have been the bachelor in a lot

1689
01:28:03,439 --> 01:28:07,400
Speaker 1: of ways. Um, the way I handled the breakup and

1690
01:28:07,720 --> 01:28:12,040
Speaker 1: was probably the first time people kind of empathy had

1691
01:28:12,120 --> 01:28:14,080
Speaker 1: empathy for me. It was kind of the first moment

1692
01:28:14,120 --> 01:28:18,240
Speaker 1: that Batman Nation started changing their opinion of me. Not everyone,

1693
01:28:18,360 --> 01:28:20,760
Speaker 1: but um, how I handled that, you know, that moment

1694
01:28:20,760 --> 01:28:22,640
Speaker 1: when they saw my foot come out a limo. And

1695
01:28:22,680 --> 01:28:25,000
Speaker 1: then just the way I handled the breakup, I want

1696
01:28:25,040 --> 01:28:27,040
Speaker 1: a lot of people over, And that was kind of

1697
01:28:27,080 --> 01:28:30,439
Speaker 1: the launching pad into into paradise. And you know, certainly

1698
01:28:30,479 --> 01:28:32,120
Speaker 1: I didn't think feel at the time, and I certainly

1699
01:28:32,120 --> 01:28:33,840
Speaker 1: it took a long time for things to play out,

1700
01:28:34,720 --> 01:28:37,240
Speaker 1: but I realized that by Caitlin doing that, she gave

1701
01:28:37,240 --> 01:28:39,800
Speaker 1: me one of my best moments. And had she say

1702
01:28:39,880 --> 01:28:43,000
Speaker 1: sent me home week six, I just would have been

1703
01:28:43,000 --> 01:28:46,519
Speaker 1: remembered as the villain from Andy season who showed up

1704
01:28:46,560 --> 01:28:49,560
Speaker 1: like a few other people did before, and they quickly dismissed,

1705
01:28:49,640 --> 01:28:52,679
Speaker 1: and I would have been an afterthought and people wouldn't

1706
01:28:52,680 --> 01:28:56,799
Speaker 1: have thought much of me. Um. And so really hurtful

1707
01:28:56,880 --> 01:28:59,719
Speaker 1: moments for you on TV end up being your best

1708
01:28:59,720 --> 01:29:01,800
Speaker 1: moment in the long run, and it gets it gets

1709
01:29:01,800 --> 01:29:03,760
Speaker 1: you in a place that you would have preferred to

1710
01:29:03,800 --> 01:29:06,160
Speaker 1: be in UM and if without that moment, generally I've

1711
01:29:06,240 --> 01:29:08,800
Speaker 1: never gotten there. Generally, everyone's best moment in bat Nation,

1712
01:29:09,040 --> 01:29:12,200
Speaker 1: just a few exceptions, is when you get dumped. Almost

1713
01:29:12,360 --> 01:29:14,960
Speaker 1: almost always, I agree, because that's when the audience really

1714
01:29:14,960 --> 01:29:18,000
Speaker 1: connects with you. All Right, Well, you know what, Nick,

1715
01:29:18,040 --> 01:29:23,599
Speaker 1: it's always fab to have you here. It's also fun, Um,

1716
01:29:23,640 --> 01:29:26,320
Speaker 1: it's and then you are fit, and you know who

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Speaker 1: else is fab and fit and fun. Chloe Kardashian, Bethany Frankel,

1718
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Speaker 1: Martina McBride, Ashley Tusdale, Ashley Simpson, Nicki Reid and I

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Speaker 1: used to Curry. They all love fab fit fun and

1720
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Speaker 1: you need to add your own name to that list.

1721
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Speaker 1: The springbox is available now, so sign up before they

1722
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Speaker 1: sell out, and guys, they sell out like crazy fast.

1723
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1724
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1725
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Speaker 1: a year. It's like Christmas four times a year. It's awesome.

1726
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Speaker 1: Here's some of the content you're going to get in

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Speaker 1: the springbox. Rachel Pally reversible clutch to play with this

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1729
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Speaker 1: all your stuff, but it's also not gonna be like

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Speaker 1: weighing you down when you go out. There's a free

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Speaker 1: people and understated leather eyemask. I love eyemasks. Um. Then

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Speaker 1: dot com. Use our code almost Famous and treat yourself

1742
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Speaker 1: to this amazing four times a year gift. Thank you

1743
01:30:48,920 --> 01:30:52,280
Speaker 1: guys so much for listening. Keep those emails coming. It

1744
01:30:52,400 --> 01:30:54,679
Speaker 1: is Ben and Ashley at I heart media dot com.

1745
01:30:54,760 --> 01:30:58,479
Speaker 1: Thanks to our guests, Nick and Kevin went, and thank

1746
01:30:58,479 --> 01:31:01,840
Speaker 1: you to our sponsors fab fit on, Movement Watches, litote,

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Speaker 1: Quip and smart Suites. Go to iTunes, leave us a

1748
01:31:06,120 --> 01:31:09,879
Speaker 1: review and we'll be back very soon. I've been Ashley,

1749
01:31:11,479 --> 01:31:17,160
Speaker 1: but I'm Nick. I've been Nick. It's proper. I've I've

1750
01:31:17,160 --> 01:31:21,320
Speaker 1: been Nick not anymore? Can I change my name? This

1751
01:31:21,360 --> 01:31:26,719
Speaker 1: is fun? Goodbye. Follow the Bennon Ashley I Almost Famous

1752
01:31:26,760 --> 01:31:30,680
Speaker 1: podcast on iHeart Radio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.