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Speaker 1: You're doing this publicly now all opinions.

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Speaker 2: Everybody has an opinion. Hate.

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Speaker 1: I hate it so much, that's so honest. Most people

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Speaker 1: will be like, I don't care, but I care opinion.

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Speaker 2: I care.

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Speaker 3: I'm responding. I mean, you know that cat what that's like.

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Speaker 1: That's me. Thanks for watching, guys. Today's episode is brought

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Speaker 1: to you by boost Mobile. Bosima Saint John is a

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Speaker 1: Hall of Fame inducted marketing executive, author, entrepreneur, general just badass.

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Speaker 1: In twenty twenty three, she stepped out of the corporate

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Speaker 1: box and she published her memoir, which we were just

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Speaker 1: talking about and we'll share in a second. It was

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Speaker 1: called The Urgent Life. It is called The Urgent Life.

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Speaker 1: She's now a full time cast member of the Real

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Speaker 1: Housewives of Beverly Hills. That was not just any of

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Speaker 1: our and she stars in On Brand with Jimmy Fallon,

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Speaker 1: which is a marketing competition series on NBC. And she

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Speaker 1: has many, many, many other things that we're going to

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Speaker 1: talk about all the things today, but both of the

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Speaker 1: Saint John is our guest today in real life, and

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Speaker 1: we met recently for the first time, my god, on

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Speaker 1: a women's panel.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I was so excited. I was so excited because,

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Speaker 3: you know what, I'm not from New York, but I

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Speaker 3: feel like a New Yorker. I lived in New York

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Speaker 3: for fifteen years, by the way, the longest I've ever

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Speaker 3: lived in any city.

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Speaker 1: And that's how you moved around a lot.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I moved around a lot. And I loved hearing

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Speaker 2: you every day.

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Speaker 1: Thank you every day. Yeah. Yes, I start to get

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Speaker 1: like a one way relation show you.

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Speaker 2: You know what I mean.

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Speaker 3: And so when we met, it felt very familiar because

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Speaker 3: I feel like I know you.

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Speaker 1: What I'm saying. But it's just there's enough of your

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Speaker 1: public you have a footprint in the world that I

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Speaker 1: knew you. I knew you somewhat. Yes, so we already

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Speaker 1: came with some deep.

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Speaker 2: But I was already in love.

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Speaker 3: And then I'm like, oh my God to talk to

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Speaker 3: Angie because like you, I mean, you do do great

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Speaker 3: storytelling and you have great conversation. And so even when

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Speaker 3: we met at the panel, I was like, oh man,

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Speaker 3: we could sit up here and talk forever. That's gonna

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Speaker 3: how We're gonna continue this conversation.

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Speaker 2: We got to get off the stake.

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Speaker 3: Well.

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Speaker 1: Number one, I will say that you also are an

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Speaker 1: amazing storyteller and reading your book because you know, you

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Speaker 1: could have wrote a business book.

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Speaker 3: Oh yes, which, by the way, my publishers wanted me

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Speaker 3: to write that. I was wondering about that. That was

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Speaker 3: the book they wanted me to write. And also you

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Speaker 3: could still write, yes, and I probably still.

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Speaker 1: Won't still will we just maybe we just interviewed that mcgreed,

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Speaker 1: which I know you did also, which we're going to

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Speaker 1: get to all exactly. We're going to get to all them.

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Speaker 1: I'm very curious about how you feel about at her

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Speaker 1: and things of that.

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Speaker 2: I have a lot of thoughts.

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Speaker 1: We'll get into that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, But.

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Speaker 1: You know, writing a memoir is a tricky thing, right,

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Speaker 1: And so I went reading it, I wondered how much

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Speaker 1: because you know a lot of people they tell their

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Speaker 1: story and they a partner who's a writer by trade.

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Speaker 1: But yours felt so intimate, I wondered.

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Speaker 2: I was like, wow, she this was a lot of.

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Speaker 1: Your own voice and words.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, but the way that it was written.

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Speaker 1: Because I've been studying writing for the past few years,

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Speaker 1: I also wrote a memoir and the women they brought

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Speaker 1: in to help me because I was insistent on had

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Speaker 1: I had to write so much. Yeah, she taught me

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Speaker 1: so much about actual writing and storytelling. And the way

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Speaker 1: your book reads is it goes past the present, Yes,

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Speaker 1: past to present, and you've been through so much. That

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Speaker 1: is just a night. It's a it's a beautiful ride.

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Speaker 1: I know, it's a lot of pain and things and

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Speaker 1: then also but it's just a beautifully, beautifully.

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Speaker 2: Thank you you know.

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Speaker 3: So you're right, my publisher. And by the way, tons

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Speaker 3: of publishers over the years have been like you should

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Speaker 3: write yes, how to get to the Corner Office in

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Speaker 3: Heels book which or like you know, still Girl Boss

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Speaker 3: for Dummies, And I was like, oh my god, well

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Speaker 3: I don't know about either one of those titles, you

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Speaker 3: know what I mean. But you know, I really felt

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Speaker 3: called to write my memoir because as a successful business woman,

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Speaker 3: people always think that like somehow you had a silver staircase,

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Speaker 3: you know, and that like nothing bad could have happened

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Speaker 3: to you in order for you to continue to rise.

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Speaker 3: And for me, I was like, wait, wait, hold on,

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Speaker 3: hold on, I've dealt with some shit in my life,

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Speaker 3: you know, some stuff that brought me down. Yeah, And

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Speaker 3: I think for me it was like, look, I want

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Speaker 3: I want you to read my book and not only

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Speaker 3: know me better, but also appreciate that life. You can

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Speaker 3: put yourself in these shoes and you can also achieve

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Speaker 3: regardless of what has happened to you, because like, this.

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Speaker 2: Shit is heavy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you also lost and love and survival and thriving

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Speaker 3: and climbing the staircase and getting things wrong. Like at

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Speaker 3: one point, my editor was like, yo, votes like you

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Speaker 3: there's some parts in here where you're.

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Speaker 2: Not the hero, you know, but you don't look that good.

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Speaker 3: And I was like, good, actually, oh my god, well

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Speaker 3: there are many parts, but you know, I mean, there's

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Speaker 3: some stuff I regret. You know, It's like when I'm

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Speaker 3: jumping ahead. But when my husband was terminally diagnosed, we

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Speaker 3: had been separated for about a year and a half

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Speaker 3: or so, we hadn't divorced. I wasn't planning on serving

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Speaker 3: him the paperwork because I was like, let him do it,

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Speaker 3: you know, let him be the bad guy, you know

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Speaker 3: what I mean. And I was trying desperately to move on.

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Speaker 3: I thought, Okay, well, if I have a boyfriend, then

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Speaker 3: he really gonna get pissed off and then serve me

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Speaker 3: some divorce papers. And I was like, you know, you

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Speaker 3: should get a girlfriend too, you know what I mean, Like,

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Speaker 3: let's just all both move on. And he was refusing, refusing,

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Speaker 3: And then one day I went to his house and

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Speaker 3: I saw a pair of women's shoes there, and those

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Speaker 3: were some ugly ass shoes.

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Speaker 2: I knew they weren't mine, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, who's this bitch?

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Speaker 3: And he had a girlfriend, and I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: I don't know how I feel about this, but all right,

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Speaker 3: you know this will help move us on. But then

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Speaker 3: when he was diagnosed, and it was she and I

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Speaker 3: were getting along, you know, we'd like trade off time

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Speaker 3: in the hospital, and it just felt very sister wife

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Speaker 3: and I was actually very comfortable with that until they

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Speaker 3: said he was going to die. Then then I was like, honey,

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Speaker 3: you got to get up out of here. Okay, I'm

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Speaker 3: his wife and these are my vows, and I'm the

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Speaker 3: one who's going to be here. And in telling that story,

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Speaker 3: I was definitely I was unfair, yeah, and I wish

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Speaker 3: I could do it over unfair to unfair to her.

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Speaker 3: He was he was very happy, I mean, he you know,

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Speaker 3: went on Facebook and was like, thank you God, I

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Speaker 3: got my empire back and my kingdom back, you know,

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Speaker 3: the whole thing, like he was, but I don't think

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Speaker 3: I was.

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Speaker 2: I was being fair. Wasn't being fair to her? And

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Speaker 2: I regret that.

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Speaker 1: Did you ever have you ever made that ends or

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Speaker 1: not talking there?

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Speaker 2: Look, I'm not I'm not that much of an angel now, okay,

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Speaker 2: but you've admitted.

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Speaker 1: That before you said this.

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Speaker 2: I said it.

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Speaker 1: She said she's gotten win.

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Speaker 2: I hope she got I hope she got win. But

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Speaker 2: we don't need to talk. Come on, there's nothing to

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Speaker 2: do nothing. It's enough for you. It's not for me

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Speaker 2: to We don't need to be friends.

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Speaker 1: And there's so much in your book that you know,

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Speaker 1: even looking at you now where you are. We talked

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Speaker 1: about this more in the panel. You took this gig

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Speaker 1: on Real Housewives, which people were like, are you crazy? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: No, they really did.

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Speaker 1: Are you crazy?

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Speaker 4: And what was it?

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Speaker 5: What was it that?

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Speaker 1: What was it that made you adamant in your decision making?

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Speaker 3: You know? It was really it was really so hard

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Speaker 3: to follow my instinct of my gut on this, and

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Speaker 3: by the way, I have said adamantly, I've done it

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Speaker 3: head talk on it. I've talked about my intuition, how

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Speaker 3: powerful it is. How much I trust it, how I

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Speaker 3: follow it. I don't take anybody's advice. I don't ask

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Speaker 3: anybody for their opinions on my life. Like I am

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Speaker 3: strong in that, but it is also very difficult to

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Speaker 3: do that, you know, meaning that when people have an

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Speaker 3: opinion about what you do or who you are, especially

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Speaker 3: if you respect them. I'm not just talking about the

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Speaker 3: strangers on the internet. I'm talking about people in my

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Speaker 3: real life, you know, and not just my mom, but

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Speaker 3: like you know, my daughter, my friends, my mentors, you know,

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Speaker 3: people who were successful, who are ahead of me, who

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Speaker 3: are like, this is a bad idea, you know, and

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Speaker 3: I'm just like, your voice says yeah, my inner voice

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Speaker 3: says no, this is this is where you should be going.

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Speaker 3: But the thing is, it has happened actually quite a

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Speaker 3: few times in my life where everybody in my life

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Speaker 3: has advised me against the thing, and I went to

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Speaker 3: do it anyway, and then it turns out to be successful,

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Speaker 3: and then they're like, you know what, both you were right,

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Speaker 3: go ahead, you know. And so it's happening enough times

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Speaker 3: that I feel drawn to my own will, even in

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Speaker 3: the face of people doubting it.

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Speaker 2: But it has it has not caused it has not

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Speaker 2: not caused me to have fear.

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Speaker 3: The still you know what I mean, I still have

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Speaker 3: the fear. I still have the doubt. I'm still like,

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Speaker 3: what if this time they're right?

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Speaker 2: Right? What if this time I'm stepping off the ledge

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Speaker 2: and like I'm gonna fall and hurt myself? And what if?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, what if I joined the Housewives And it's the

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Speaker 3: worst decision ever because I'm going in with the intention

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Speaker 3: of telling my story from my perspective, adding a corporate

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Speaker 3: baddy to the roster of women who are rich and

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Speaker 3: successful and like having the best time ever. I'm like, yo,

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Speaker 3: I want to represent my people. But what if it's terrible?

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Speaker 3: What if it make me look awful? What if like

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Speaker 3: this Hall of Fame career comes crashing down because I

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Speaker 3: did Reality TV? You know, Just the other day, some

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Speaker 3: body on threads, Uh, there's a debate going on about

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Speaker 3: Emma Greed and her book, right, and I'm a defender

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Speaker 3: of her philosophy, And somebody said it was something I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna paraphrase, but it was something like, yeah, she's talking

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Speaker 3: so big, but she still ended up on Reality TV.

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Speaker 3: They're talking about me, And I was like, is.

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Speaker 1: That a dig.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I think it's a dig.

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Speaker 3: This song a little bit, because I was just like, wait,

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Speaker 3: hold on, wait, wait, wait, wait, let's not you know,

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Speaker 3: let's not trash everything, like you know, that's that's not

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Speaker 3: beneath me. And I don't believe any of the women

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Speaker 1: But there's also like a new found I would imagine

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Speaker 1: for you because it's the same thing with Emma. We

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Speaker 1: had Emma on the pod, and it's like it's one

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Speaker 1: thing to be a successful business woman and you operate

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Speaker 1: within the walls. How you do you learn your lessons?

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Speaker 1: You mentor people privately, or you do ted talk, so

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Speaker 1: you do things to a world of people who want

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Speaker 1: that information. It's different when you cross over into a

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Speaker 1: mainstream platform. Yes, those same opinions don't.

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Speaker 2: Yes, you nail head, Yes, right, yeah, yeah, So I think.

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Speaker 3: That's some of the complication that Emma is facing, enormous,

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Speaker 3: enormous complication.

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Speaker 1: And I wonder for you too, which I would like

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Speaker 1: to talk about what's happening to Emma and the fact

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Speaker 1: that you're choosing to defend or to support. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: have you experienced any of that like shifts and because

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Speaker 1: now you're a public figure in a.

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Speaker 3: Different different way, and you are so right, I think

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Speaker 3: that's a missing concept and idea. And again, let's to

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Speaker 3: be honest, I was not aware that there was a difference.

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Speaker 3: I know, this sounds so like probably naive because you.

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Speaker 1: Had never experienced.

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Speaker 3: No, I didn't know that, Okay, there was a difference

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Speaker 3: between being public in a business format and being public

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Speaker 3: in pop culture, you know, and that the same sort

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Speaker 3: of respect that I have in the business world may

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Speaker 3: not carry over. I'd be teaching people again about me

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Speaker 3: and maybe they wouldn't agree. And that was a shock

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Speaker 3: because I was like, wait, hold on, but I have

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Speaker 3: all of these credentials and all of these receipts, and

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Speaker 3: why would you question that.

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Speaker 1: You know?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? And then also I think part of the issue

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Speaker 3: that I am currently having with anyone's sort of like

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Speaker 3: dismissal of Emmagreed's success and therefore her book and her

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Speaker 3: advice is that they haven't been there. So how could

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Speaker 3: you criticize what she's telling you? You know, she's not

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Speaker 3: coming from a place of theory. I have a lot

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Speaker 3: of problems with people who teach things based on theory,

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Speaker 3: you know, like all of these gurus that are out there,

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Speaker 3: they're trying to tell you how to be successful in business,

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Speaker 3: but have never occupied a c sweet job.

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Speaker 2: I'm literally, what the fuck do you know?

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Speaker 1: What are you talk? Showed me you don't have any receipts.

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Speaker 3: We have a woman who has not only succeeded in

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Speaker 3: creating multiple billion dollar businesses, but she is generous enough

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Speaker 3: to tell your ass how to do it. And then

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Speaker 3: you want to turn around and be like, nah, I

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Speaker 3: don't think.

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Speaker 2: So now she know what?

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Speaker 1: But it's funny because I was looking at some of

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Speaker 1: the debate and you imposted a clip about this part.

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Speaker 1: There was like a lot of like a discourse around

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Speaker 1: her saying working from home it was okay not And

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Speaker 1: then I saw I saw other people's arguments about why

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Speaker 1: that is problematic, and I honestly can understand both sides

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Speaker 1: of the story. And it's because Emma wasn't saying you

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Speaker 1: should never people should never work from home. She was

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Speaker 1: just letting, hey, guys, if you want to cut through,

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Speaker 1: here's some of the problems with that, you should be

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Speaker 1: aware aware of.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 1: So that's her takes. But when it goes on a

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Speaker 1: clip on these huge platforms and there's a and there's

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Speaker 1: women sitting home who are like fighting their bosses to

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Speaker 1: be able to do it from home, because I do

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Speaker 1: understand both sides of that. So I do think it's

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Speaker 1: it's like who is your audience and what are you saying?

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Speaker 1: And having to be more careful about clips and and.

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Speaker 6: Explaining you can't you can't control the clips, and but

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Speaker 6: I do understand how this happened, but I wish people

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Speaker 6: had a bandwidth to actually understand context and totality.

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Speaker 3: She wrote three hundred and fifty pages and you're talking

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Speaker 3: about a thirty second clip.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, y'all, come on, like you got to read

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Speaker 2: the whole thing.

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Speaker 3: Critical thinking guys, you know what I mean, like analysis,

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Speaker 3: because what she's talking about is complicated.

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Speaker 2: She's saying that like, oh, there shouldn't be any flexibility

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Speaker 2: or that the world is right.

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Speaker 1: You know that there's not other reasons why women are

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Speaker 1: held back at correct.

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Speaker 3: I'm not saying that. She's saying, Hey, this is a

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Speaker 3: truth about the situation. Okay, you want advancement, you need proximity.

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Speaker 2: That is not a lie.

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Speaker 3: You want to be in the C suite, you can't

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Speaker 3: do it sitting at home, not close to the CEO. Now,

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Speaker 3: obviously there are global jobs. There are jobs that require

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Speaker 3: you to be in a different place from your boss.

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Speaker 3: Everybody understands that. Then figure out a way to get proximity.

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Speaker 3: So if you're working from home, don't think that you

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Speaker 3: just click on the camera for every meeting and then

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Speaker 3: you go slink back and do whatever you're doing at home.

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Speaker 3: Right Like, Yes, you're in your spreadsheet, you're in your

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Speaker 3: documents and your solo and then you only pop up

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Speaker 3: for the meetings that are required of you. Nosis you

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Speaker 3: got to do more than that. So if you can't

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Speaker 3: be there in person, then figure out how to get

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Speaker 3: close to the boss quickly and in more than just

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Speaker 3: the showing up on the meetings and have your camera

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Speaker 3: off too.

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Speaker 2: By the way, let me add that in there.

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Speaker 3: Because the challenge is that, like, this is the truth

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Speaker 3: of the environment that we're currently in. Additionally, and this

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00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,480
Speaker 3: is again the part of the nuance that is missing.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, look, we've done our part. Okay, we knocked

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Speaker 3: down a part of the wall from the women before

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Speaker 3: us who couldn't have even imagined the successes that we

364
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:29,040
Speaker 3: have right now right like they can't those women could

365
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Speaker 3: never have even imagined the things that we've been able

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Speaker 3: to push forward. So now it's your turn, and we're

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Speaker 3: giving you the keys so you know how to operate

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Speaker 3: right now. And then you knocked down the wall. But

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Speaker 3: people are expecting they're like, not only did we knock

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Speaker 3: down the old walls, we also knocked down new walls.

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Speaker 1: We are I'm like, but because this is what happens,

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Speaker 1: everything is so like I don't know, box into what

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Speaker 1: the clip headline is and then people respond to just

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Speaker 1: to that. But if we are talking nuance and bigger picture,

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Speaker 1: also understand the other side of that argument. I'd imagine

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00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:05,480
Speaker 1: that you could understand that where you know other people

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Speaker 1: are that was some of the arguments that I saw

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00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:10,560
Speaker 1: other people are listening. So yes, So when you're arguing

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Speaker 1: with your boss to be able to work from home,

380
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:15,119
Speaker 1: because that makes sense in whatever the situation that is.

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Speaker 1: And they're fighting you because for whatever reason, like Emma.

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Speaker 2: Said, em said, I get that.

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Speaker 1: And now you have a platform that's bigger, and you're

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Speaker 1: not just talking to women who want to succeed in business.

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00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,919
Speaker 1: Now you're talking to everybody. And then so your words

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Speaker 1: have so much more weight.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but can we say the quiet part out loud? Yes,

388
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,200
Speaker 3: your boss believes you should be at the office anyway.

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Speaker 2: M hmm. So Emma and I are telling you what

390
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Speaker 2: your boss is probably not going to tell you out loud.

391
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Speaker 3: They're gonna yes you okay, but then you you're gonna say,

392
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,400
Speaker 3: but then you and Emma saying it, it gives that boss.

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Speaker 1: He sticks his chest, He sticks his chest.

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Speaker 2: Out, was already out. Those are what your girls, Chess

395
00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:02,080
Speaker 2: was already out. But you're not seeing it.

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Speaker 3: Okay, he's already under the impression that you are not

397
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Speaker 3: doing enough being at home. He's already under that impression.

398
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,920
Speaker 3: Believe me, your boss is not listening to us two

399
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,680
Speaker 3: black women and being like, yes, that's what they said,

400
00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:18,760
Speaker 3: people do that.

401
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,960
Speaker 1: Yes, Okay, there's the thing right, So maybe he's not

402
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:26,399
Speaker 1: and maybe it's not. But the women are now putting

403
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:30,920
Speaker 1: you guys in position, yeah, of being a voice for

404
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:33,320
Speaker 1: which is different than what you guys have had to

405
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,879
Speaker 1: do before. Yes, before it was just like uplifted, let

406
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:37,000
Speaker 1: me put you on, let me show you this, bla

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00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:37,440
Speaker 1: blah blah.

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00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:37,720
Speaker 2: Yeah.

409
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:41,880
Speaker 1: But now you've because of your platforms becoming so large. Yeah,

410
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,840
Speaker 1: the voice is more important.

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Speaker 2: Yes.

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Speaker 3: And so here's the thing is that we could either

413
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Speaker 3: right be quiet about it and not tell you the

414
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Speaker 3: truth and believe me. Also, I hope Emma doesn't get

415
00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:58,480
Speaker 3: mad me for telling you this and saying it out loud.

416
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:02,040
Speaker 3: But I did talk to her about that, you know.

417
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Speaker 3: I was like, hey, look, if they don't appreciate it,

418
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:09,160
Speaker 3: shut the fuck up, don't talk. And then we sat

419
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,080
Speaker 3: there and looked at each other and we're like, nah,

420
00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:15,080
Speaker 3: but we can't do that. It's like because the thing

421
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,760
Speaker 3: is that, look, people are gonna be mad at you

422
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:17,560
Speaker 3: when you tell the truth.

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00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:20,400
Speaker 2: They always are. It happens to every single messenger.

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Speaker 1: So and this is like one thing. Yeah it is,

425
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,760
Speaker 1: but they do they share, but there and there are.

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Speaker 3: So many truths that are hard to say out loud,

427
00:20:32,119 --> 00:20:35,399
Speaker 3: you know, there are And also again Another thing that

428
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,280
Speaker 3: I should probably not say out loud is that, like.

429
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:41,480
Speaker 2: Look, there are a lot of people who come before us.

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00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:47,280
Speaker 3: Who didn't say anything, who didn't tell you this, who

431
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:49,679
Speaker 3: didn't tell you the truth about what they're actually thinking,

432
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Speaker 3: and then you have to find out the hard.

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Speaker 2: Way, you know.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, maybe it feels like, hey, look, you're giving

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Speaker 3: this idea and this platform air because you're also what

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00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:03,040
Speaker 3: they're saying. But my point is that, like I'm actually

437
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:04,879
Speaker 3: not parroting what they're saying. I'm just saying it in

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00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,479
Speaker 3: a way that you're gonna hear it because they've been

439
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,320
Speaker 3: telling you that you're just not listening.

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Speaker 1: What are the other things that they don't tell women?

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00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:14,560
Speaker 1: We need a whole podcast.

442
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,000
Speaker 2: We need a whole podcast for that.

443
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,440
Speaker 3: You know. Let's not even start talk about money and

444
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:21,880
Speaker 3: how to like ask for promotions and get raises, because

445
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,720
Speaker 3: it's not just proximity, you know.

446
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,840
Speaker 2: Some of it is like our own unwillingness to go

447
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:28,359
Speaker 2: before we are ready.

448
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 1: You know.

449
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,840
Speaker 3: It's like, look, you know how many times I sat

450
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:35,240
Speaker 3: in my office as a C suite executive and men

451
00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:38,040
Speaker 3: who had just started working, white men in particular, who

452
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,119
Speaker 3: had just started working in the job like three months

453
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,800
Speaker 3: came into my office, so they needed to raise with

454
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:48,000
Speaker 3: no problem, no problem, and they had proof. They'd have

455
00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:50,440
Speaker 3: receipts and be like, in the last ninety days, this

456
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:51,080
Speaker 3: is what I've.

457
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 2: Been able to achieve.

458
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 3: Sometimes they weren't wrong, by the way, but I think

459
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:59,399
Speaker 3: women actually do it better and faster. And then do

460
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:01,440
Speaker 3: you know how many times I would tell like a

461
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:04,200
Speaker 3: woman who was maybe a peer or something to that

462
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:07,959
Speaker 3: guy and been like, you know, homeboy over here by

463
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,720
Speaker 3: the way, under threat of hr homeboy came into my

464
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,440
Speaker 3: office he said he needed a raise. She'd be like,

465
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,040
Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, girl, he did, and he had proof,

466
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,160
Speaker 3: and this proof is right what you got. And she'd

467
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:20,840
Speaker 3: be like, oh man, all right.

468
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:23,159
Speaker 2: All right, I'm gonna come. I'm gonna come. And then

469
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:25,960
Speaker 2: never came, and I'm like, I can't sit in my

470
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:27,960
Speaker 2: office just be like, Okay, you know she gets a raise.

471
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,439
Speaker 2: You know, you gotta do your part. You gotta come too.

472
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,159
Speaker 3: And so there's all kinds of But the problem is

473
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,359
Speaker 3: that like if I say that out loud, which I

474
00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:40,680
Speaker 3: actually just have, she's gonna say, oh, well, but this

475
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:45,400
Speaker 3: is you know, I need merit based promotions and raises

476
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:49,480
Speaker 3: and it's unfair that Chad over there comes into your

477
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,680
Speaker 3: office and after three months tells you he needs a raise,

478
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 3: and then you give him one.

479
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,680
Speaker 2: And I'm sitting here. You can see I'm doing the work.

480
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:57,520
Speaker 2: He he didn't give me the raise. Girl, you gotta

481
00:22:57,560 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 2: get up and do your part. You gotta do it.

482
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,520
Speaker 2: And it's not enough for you to just sit there. Yeah,

483
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:04,879
Speaker 2: why do we do that?

484
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,440
Speaker 1: What is that about? I don't know what I would

485
00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:10,440
Speaker 1: what I do I would also like to offer to people,

486
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:14,280
Speaker 1: is that, like, you know, it's okay to say what

487
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,360
Speaker 1: that one part of what somebody said doesn't work for me? Yeah,

488
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:22,600
Speaker 1: and not dismissed their whole things, like you don't you

489
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 1: don't have to throw somebody away. That's because maybe the

490
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 1: one thing they said you kind of I don't love that.

491
00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:31,879
Speaker 1: I think that should have been said to whatever are

492
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:33,080
Speaker 1: you feeling is on whatever?

493
00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:38,240
Speaker 3: Like yeah, pretty example of that. We love Steve Harvey. Okay, okay,

494
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:40,840
Speaker 3: let me just start there. Oh God, I love Steve Harvey.

495
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 1: Love Steve.

496
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:46,560
Speaker 3: At one point I saw him do a interview or

497
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:49,520
Speaker 3: he made a statement about how like he hustles so

498
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:51,400
Speaker 3: hard he only gets four hours to sleep a night

499
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:53,160
Speaker 3: and if you want to be successful, you can only

500
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:56,920
Speaker 3: you can only sleep four hours because otherwise you're lazy paraphrasing.

501
00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:59,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I heard that and I was like, damn,

502
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,960
Speaker 2: because I like some sleep. People don't think that, but

503
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 2: I do.

504
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:07,239
Speaker 3: I sleep my full eight hours, you absolutely, and if

505
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,000
Speaker 3: I don't get it, I'm horrible. Okay, so I have

506
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:13,439
Speaker 3: to get it. And I heard that, and I was like, damn, well,

507
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:15,240
Speaker 3: how am I gonna do that? Because I'm not actually

508
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:18,200
Speaker 3: useful with just four hours of sleep. I tried and

509
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,640
Speaker 3: she wasn't working. So I went back to my eight hours,

510
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:21,639
Speaker 3: and I was like, you know what, I'm gonna have

511
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,120
Speaker 3: to figure out a way to make whatever other four

512
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:26,040
Speaker 3: hours I said, I spent sleeping like I got a

513
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,560
Speaker 3: double time on something else, just so I can prove

514
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,440
Speaker 3: the fact that, like, yes, I'm working, I'm working hard.

515
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 3: I gotta double the time when I'm actually wait, you know.

516
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,760
Speaker 3: And so then I use that as my motivation to

517
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 3: do more in my waking hours because I realized that, oh,

518
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,720
Speaker 3: there's other people out there who are four hours ahead

519
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 3: of me because they're only sleeping four hours because they

520
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:43,840
Speaker 3: took Steve Barvey's advice.

521
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:46,120
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying, which would have been shit

522
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,200
Speaker 1: advice for you, which would have been horrible.

523
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 2: And by the way, I don't throw the man away.

524
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 3: I don't discount his successes. He is incredibly successful.

525
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:55,639
Speaker 2: Like what a shame it.

526
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 1: Would be and still plenty to learn from him.

527
00:24:58,480 --> 00:24:59,920
Speaker 3: I'm like, what a shame it would be if I

528
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,760
Speaker 3: I just took that and said, ah, he didn't know

529
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:04,280
Speaker 3: what he's talking about his successes. Oh, the only reason

530
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:05,280
Speaker 3: he got is because he's.

531
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:08,920
Speaker 1: A man who no, stop no.

532
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:11,560
Speaker 3: But I'm just saying that, Like I could say that

533
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 3: and I would be wrong. Man, I'd be dead wrong.

534
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,920
Speaker 3: My point is you'd be the one thing I'd be

535
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:18,840
Speaker 3: mad about, the one.

536
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:20,040
Speaker 2: Okay, But that's my point.

537
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:23,359
Speaker 3: Is it like sometimes you take advice from people who've

538
00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 3: done it and you're like, oh, I can apply that,

539
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,040
Speaker 3: And then sometimes you take it you're just like, that

540
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:29,960
Speaker 3: actually doesn't fit me. But let me take the knowledge

541
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 3: that's inside of there and apply in a different way.

542
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:35,560
Speaker 3: So my thought was like, oh, shoot, there are people

543
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,880
Speaker 3: who are only sleeping four hours. They have four more

544
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,800
Speaker 3: hours in the day than I do, So how am

545
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:44,840
Speaker 3: I gonna spend my sixteen hours in a way that's

546
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 3: going to be even more beneficial. So that just made

547
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,160
Speaker 3: me hustle more on the sixteen versus being like, oh,

548
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:52,200
Speaker 3: I gotta have twenty.

549
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,040
Speaker 1: To work with. Yeah, we can't do it. Four hours

550
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:55,359
Speaker 1: of sleep is brutal.

551
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 2: I don't know how people do it.

552
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,280
Speaker 3: Butless there's a whole army of people decided we're going

553
00:25:59,359 --> 00:25:59,920
Speaker 3: to sleep four hours.

554
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:03,639
Speaker 1: I've heard that stuff. We also came we also, like,

555
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,479
Speaker 1: I don't know, I was raised in like hustle culture, right,

556
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:11,040
Speaker 1: so everybody then there was I know, there was admiration

557
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 1: for that, and I cried and how much how hard

558
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,119
Speaker 1: I hustled it. I didn't sleep and I did this,

559
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,200
Speaker 1: and I did this for free at the beginning, and

560
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:20,359
Speaker 1: I did this for this many years. And then at

561
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:22,639
Speaker 1: one point and the second point you get to it's like,

562
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:27,040
Speaker 1: but there's almost so I've switched internally where I don't.

563
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:30,800
Speaker 1: I still work hard, I still try to have, you know,

564
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:34,040
Speaker 1: whatever balance is for me paying attention to it. But

565
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:38,920
Speaker 1: also I feel like there's also it's just culturally it's

566
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,439
Speaker 1: not what people want to hear right now.

567
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:45,080
Speaker 3: But guess what, right, but during those years when that

568
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,160
Speaker 3: was the way to do it, if you told somebody

569
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,360
Speaker 3: you slept eight hours, they'd.

570
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:53,400
Speaker 2: Be like, you lazy ass idiot, you know what I'm saying.

571
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,960
Speaker 3: So now, yes, of course our health and wellness is

572
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,440
Speaker 3: at the top of conversations. Mental health is at the

573
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:02,080
Speaker 3: top of conversations. That when I started out, you know,

574
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:07,359
Speaker 3: and walking up both ways, there wasn't the conversation didn't exist.

575
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:09,680
Speaker 3: And so yeah, you couldn't have said, like, oh, sleep

576
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:11,520
Speaker 3: eight hours a day and you'll still get to the

577
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:12,359
Speaker 3: top of the mountain.

578
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:13,800
Speaker 2: Nobody would have said that.

579
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:16,840
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580
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581
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582
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583
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584
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585
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586
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587
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588
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598
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 1: r L. I wonder if our way of dealing with

599
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:25,359
Speaker 1: mental health and wellness at the time was like, uh,

600
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:29,159
Speaker 1: just pouring into We were like workaholics. Yeah, so that

601
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:30,359
Speaker 1: was the vice of choice.

602
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, we were worry but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but

603
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:37,840
Speaker 3: that's that's why we Yeah, that's the way we dealt

604
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:41,160
Speaker 3: with it. And that's also how we respected people. You know,

605
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 3: if like you worked like that and didn't have a breakdown, then.

606
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:47,000
Speaker 2: You were the winner. Yeah right, is that?

607
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:47,800
Speaker 1: Yeah?

608
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 3: Yeah? But if you work like that and you had

609
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 3: a breakdown, people are like, a, see shoes, we can

610
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:53,280
Speaker 3: anyway get out of here. Yeah.

611
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 1: And do you still work like that?

612
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:58,480
Speaker 2: No, absolutely do not. I work very hard, but like

613
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:00,480
Speaker 2: I said, I used my sixteen hours very well.

614
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:04,120
Speaker 1: Just give me a little insight like to how you

615
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 1: manage that? How do you sleep eight hours every night? Yeah,

616
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:11,479
Speaker 1: You're still very successful in many, many different ways. You're

617
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:16,080
Speaker 1: on boards of charities, your reality show, television shows.

618
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, engage with two weddings coming up. Yeah, it's like

619
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 3: I got a lot going on. But the thing is that,

620
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:27,240
Speaker 3: like I'm also very scheduled. You're very disciplined in my time,

621
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 3: and so I don't get thrown off course very often

622
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:33,880
Speaker 3: because either I'm anticipating X, Y and Z thing Like

623
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:36,120
Speaker 3: I always tell my team, I'm like, hey, look, the

624
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:39,040
Speaker 3: better planned we are, the more successful we are, you know,

625
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:41,200
Speaker 3: because of course there will be things out thrown into

626
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 3: your day. Your child gets sick or you know, an

627
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 3: appointment cancels, or a deal doesn't come through the time

628
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 3: that you thought it would cut and then you're stuck

629
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:53,480
Speaker 3: because you got to readjust the calendar, readjust your priorities.

630
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:56,680
Speaker 3: But I feel like those are exceptions, and so the

631
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 3: better planned I am, the better I'm able to get

632
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 3: things done. So, yeah, I wake up at five thirty

633
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 3: in the morning, I have about an hour to myself

634
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:09,960
Speaker 3: where I'm praying and thinking and writing down things. I

635
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 3: go to the gym at seven am till eight every

636
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 3: day every day seven days awak six Sundays, I take

637
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:16,240
Speaker 3: off my rest like god.

638
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:17,440
Speaker 1: And then.

639
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,480
Speaker 3: Every day without every day with like my hero. Yeah,

640
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:25,240
Speaker 3: seven am, I wish. I wish to have that type

641
00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 3: of girl.

642
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:25,960
Speaker 2: I'm out here.

643
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 3: I'm lifted heavy, you know what I mean, get down, frustrations, running,

644
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:30,360
Speaker 3: dual cardio, all the things.

645
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:33,680
Speaker 2: Every day every day eight I'm at home.

646
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:35,600
Speaker 3: My daughter goes to school at ay thirty, so at

647
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:37,920
Speaker 3: least we have those thirty minutes to just make sure she's.

648
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 2: Good for the day.

649
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:42,360
Speaker 3: I get ready by ten am. I'm in front of

650
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 3: my camera, or I'm in a meeting or whatever I do.

651
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:49,720
Speaker 3: My meeting is so about five. Then it's time, you know,

652
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:52,360
Speaker 3: to get to the emails and the other things I

653
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 3: gotta do. I turn off at seven, Off off, what happened?

654
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 3: Can't reach me after that? After seven, after seven o'clock,

655
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 3: you can't really, no matter what's going to matter, what's

656
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:02,720
Speaker 3: going on, you can't reach me unless it's like some

657
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:04,480
Speaker 3: sort of like diary emergency.

658
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:06,720
Speaker 2: The world is burned down. But I've done that for

659
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:09,320
Speaker 2: so many years that people are trained.

660
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 3: They know that, like, you better get to me before

661
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 3: seven pm whatever time zone I'm on. After that, you

662
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 3: can't reach me, and I'm asleep by nine point thirty.

663
00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:21,120
Speaker 1: Even now with this new level of like, oh career, no,

664
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:22,960
Speaker 1: no public facing.

665
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 3: Here's the thing, and again, this is why you've got

666
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 3: to add the things in your life that won't allow.

667
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:30,560
Speaker 2: For those breaks to happen.

668
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 3: I don't take dinner meetings, Okay, I don't go to dinners,

669
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 3: and so it's like, if you want to meet with

670
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 3: me over meal, it's gonna be breakfast or lunch, preferably lunch,

671
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 3: because my mornings are busy, you.

672
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 1: Know what I mean.

673
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:43,600
Speaker 3: And so that's how I So it's like, look, if

674
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 3: you if we need to have like people are like, oh,

675
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 3: let's go to let's go grab a bike, let's go

676
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 3: have dinner, I'm like, yes, I'm available for lunch on

677
00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:51,400
Speaker 3: the twenty fourth.

678
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:53,239
Speaker 2: Wow, you know what I mean.

679
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 1: And then that's so never dinner with the girls.

680
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:58,960
Speaker 2: I rarely do that. No, I didn't get with the

681
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,800
Speaker 2: girl because it just rops my sleeping type. Oh got it,

682
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:02,480
Speaker 2: you know what I mean.

683
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 3: Because I've got to unwind from the day, and so

684
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:07,360
Speaker 3: at seven o'clock I need to start unwinding. Otherwise, how

685
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 3: am I going to be asleep by nine thirty?

686
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 1: What is the unwinding? Like? What how do you do that?

687
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 2: Wine?

688
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:12,720
Speaker 1: Wine on TV?

689
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,000
Speaker 2: Wine and DV and social media?

690
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:18,800
Speaker 3: And you know, maybe I'll probably make some kids out

691
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:20,440
Speaker 3: with your kids, hang out with my kid. I'll make

692
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,920
Speaker 3: some phone calls with some friends. But like the girl

693
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:25,880
Speaker 3: time where you're like sitting and you're chatting and all

694
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 3: that that happens.

695
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:29,520
Speaker 2: On Sundays, you do it Sunday. Yeah, it's like you know,

696
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:31,800
Speaker 2: we're going to brunch or fascinating.

697
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:34,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I have to be disciplined in that way

698
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 3: because otherwise I won't get done all the things I

699
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 3: need to get done, and I have to focus.

700
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 1: You could squeeze into dinner at six no, no, because

701
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:43,720
Speaker 1: you're still in work mode because you're only un till

702
00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 1: seven times.

703
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, some still work mode. But the thing is that,

704
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:50,320
Speaker 2: like I feel like at this point again, sometimes there

705
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:51,720
Speaker 2: are exceptions.

706
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:53,880
Speaker 1: But how long have you been living?

707
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:53,960
Speaker 3: For?

708
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:54,640
Speaker 2: Years?

709
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:55,320
Speaker 3: Years?

710
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:56,640
Speaker 2: Maybe a decade?

711
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:57,280
Speaker 1: Wow?

712
00:32:58,480 --> 00:32:59,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, probably a decade?

713
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 1: Does it piss people off? Sometimes we all like date

714
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 1: nights and stuff.

715
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 2: Girl, So here's the thing. I really I do like

716
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 2: date night. But Sunday, Yeah, Sunday.

717
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:17,680
Speaker 3: And look the thing is like, I am also a homebody,

718
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 3: so I prefer that we do the date at home.

719
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:23,400
Speaker 3: And it probably sounds crazy, but it's like, yeah, let's

720
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 3: see it did. Let's sit on the couch. You know,

721
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:27,680
Speaker 3: we know, we can say whatever we want. We don't

722
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:29,120
Speaker 3: have the waiter come interrupt us.

723
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 2: Like, no, we stay comfied.

724
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:32,800
Speaker 1: You know, you are not out in these streets.

725
00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:33,360
Speaker 2: I'm really not.

726
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:33,800
Speaker 1: No.

727
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:38,200
Speaker 3: And what's what's really crazy is that when I was working,

728
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:40,760
Speaker 3: especially in the entertainment business, as you well know, so

729
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 3: many things happen in those late hours in early mornings, right,

730
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:49,320
Speaker 3: but I just didn't participate. Wow.

731
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 1: You know.

732
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 3: So it's like again, you got to train people to

733
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 3: where you are. And in the early part of my

734
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 3: career was really tough because I was in the one

735
00:33:57,320 --> 00:34:00,440
Speaker 3: controlling the time. You know. It's like if if I

736
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 3: wanted to go meet with the head of a label

737
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:04,520
Speaker 3: and they were like, come meet meet for dinner at seven,

738
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:07,360
Speaker 3: sometimes you know you just have like, all right, let

739
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:10,400
Speaker 3: me go do that, you know. But eventually I started getting,

740
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:13,359
Speaker 3: you know, the courage to say I can't do seven.

741
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 2: Could we have lunch? And you would not how many

742
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:16,920
Speaker 2: times people be like.

743
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,200
Speaker 3: Oh, okay, you had no problem, because people are just

744
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:22,400
Speaker 3: they're saying it per their schedule. But if you suggest

745
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:25,279
Speaker 3: a different time, sometimes they'll be like okay. Or I'd

746
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:27,439
Speaker 3: be like, can I catch you before your first meeting?

747
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:30,320
Speaker 3: Can I come like coffee or like a breakfast or

748
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:33,600
Speaker 3: something like that, And people always will be like sure.

749
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 1: Isn't that interesting? And it reminds me of something else

750
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,360
Speaker 1: that I was going to talk to you about, because

751
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:40,799
Speaker 1: I think there's something really big women miss and want

752
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:43,440
Speaker 1: successful women or women who have been successful not just

753
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:46,400
Speaker 1: in business, successful in relationship or finding a good partner.

754
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:51,239
Speaker 1: It's like setting the intention and setting your rules and

755
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:54,720
Speaker 1: kind of not bending that. To me, Yes, there's something

756
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:56,399
Speaker 1: too that You have a story in your book about

757
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:58,560
Speaker 1: meeting your husband for the first time. Oh yeah, and

758
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:00,320
Speaker 1: he tried to ask you for a date. You were like,

759
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 1: you want to go on a date with me? Go

760
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 1: read this book. This is my favorite book. Read it

761
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 1: and you're like, ha ha ha, right, they'll never come back,

762
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 1: they'll never come back. But in that moment, not only

763
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 1: did he do it and then come back, yeah, you

764
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:13,760
Speaker 1: kind of set the tone of what type of gesture

765
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:16,439
Speaker 1: you would expect for a man to be in your life.

766
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:20,880
Speaker 3: That is correct, right, absolutely absolutely, And so.

767
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:23,120
Speaker 1: Even in that or even the women coming in not

768
00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 1: coming into your office asking for money, yeah, they're not

769
00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:30,360
Speaker 1: setting the expect they're not reaching what they feel like

770
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:32,800
Speaker 1: they deserve. And it's not just in business, it's like

771
00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:35,239
Speaker 1: in your person, in your relationships.

772
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:38,040
Speaker 3: And yes, I mean, look, I don't remember who said it,

773
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:39,560
Speaker 3: but somebody was just like, you know, you got to

774
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,440
Speaker 3: teach people how to treat you. Yes, like that's it

775
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:45,440
Speaker 3: works for everything. It does work in business, and it

776
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 3: works in your personal life too. So yeah, I mean

777
00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:51,839
Speaker 3: I think for sure you have to let people meet

778
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:55,560
Speaker 3: you where you are, don't come down to where they are.

779
00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 1: You know.

780
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 3: So yeah, So whether it's the business meeting that somebody's like, oh,

781
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:00,839
Speaker 3: let's go have dinner and I'm like, no, I prefer

782
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:03,480
Speaker 3: lunch and saying that even though I'm not the one

783
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 3: in charge, you know what I mean, And how many

784
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:08,279
Speaker 3: times they will just agree and then there you go,

785
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:10,920
Speaker 3: Now you have your thing. And so it's like the

786
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 3: business person now they know that, like, oh, Bose only

787
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,359
Speaker 3: does lunch, and so they won't ask you to dinner

788
00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:19,160
Speaker 3: and that's okay because I want to be outside anyway.

789
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 2: You know what I mean.

790
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:23,520
Speaker 3: Or yes, telling my late husband that like, look, I

791
00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:25,319
Speaker 3: need you to go read this book if you want

792
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 3: to have a conversation with me, because I don't understand

793
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 3: where you are psychologically and whether or not you're even

794
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:30,640
Speaker 3: smart enough to keep up.

795
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:31,400
Speaker 1: With me, you know.

796
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:36,319
Speaker 3: And even now my current fiance, like on our third

797
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 3: day when he asked me out, I was like, oh,

798
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:38,960
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be Angana.

799
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:39,880
Speaker 2: If you want to go on a day, you have

800
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:42,560
Speaker 2: to come there. And he got on a plane. Okay,

801
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:43,440
Speaker 2: you know what I mean.

802
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:47,080
Speaker 3: It's like you gotta put that there. And by the way,

803
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:50,719
Speaker 3: maybe they don't rise to the occasion and you're like, nah,

804
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 3: all right, maybe I'll give up another chance. I'm not

805
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:54,399
Speaker 3: even saying there's anything wrong with that. I'm just saying

806
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:57,240
Speaker 3: they're like, girl, you know, don't change your plans.

807
00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:03,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, at least yourself the opportunity to be operating and

808
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,960
Speaker 1: have everybody in your orbit operating at a level that

809
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:07,879
Speaker 1: at a level that works for you. Yeah, it works

810
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 1: for you.

811
00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what I mean, because otherwise it's it's

812
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 3: actually not going to work. And again that is why

813
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:16,160
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm so efficient in my sixteen hours

814
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:19,960
Speaker 3: because I'm operating solely based on what works for me.

815
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 3: And yes, I will make exceptions when it's necessary, but

816
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:24,680
Speaker 3: believe me, they are exceptions.

817
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:25,920
Speaker 2: It is not the rule.

818
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:26,640
Speaker 1: No, I believe you.

819
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:31,320
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, no, I totally yeah, exactly, like you know,

820
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:33,560
Speaker 2: so you know, now, let's not go for drinks.

821
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 1: I am deeply inspired by your discipline. Yeah, I yearned

822
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:39,799
Speaker 1: to have that. I have this one thing I'm working

823
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 1: on myself on right now because yes, I know it's

824
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:44,960
Speaker 1: the difference for me. Yeah, I know, getting up early,

825
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:47,759
Speaker 1: going to the gym, being this something about sleep, yes,

826
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:51,080
Speaker 1: sleep sleep, So I know it's really going to be

827
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:53,720
Speaker 1: a big difference. I just have it all the way shifted.

828
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:55,760
Speaker 2: Do you have an accountability partner?

829
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:56,320
Speaker 1: No?

830
00:37:56,719 --> 00:37:56,879
Speaker 3: One?

831
00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:57,800
Speaker 1: Yeah you want to be it?

832
00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:01,239
Speaker 2: Yeah you have time for that, girl, I will. I'll

833
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:02,120
Speaker 2: put it on my calendar.

834
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:06,279
Speaker 1: What does that look like?

835
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:06,920
Speaker 2: Do you have one?

836
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 1: Oh?

837
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:08,080
Speaker 2: What my calendar?

838
00:38:08,239 --> 00:38:08,279
Speaker 3: No?

839
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 1: An accountability partner?

840
00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:11,839
Speaker 2: Oh yeah yeah for me for my life?

841
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 3: Oh?

842
00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:14,799
Speaker 2: Absolutely? Yeah? What do they do? But a number of things,

843
00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:15,759
Speaker 2: like what is the role?

844
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:18,279
Speaker 1: Maybe that is my problem I've never had. I've never

845
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:19,480
Speaker 1: had exactly.

846
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:19,919
Speaker 2: Well, Okay.

847
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:21,440
Speaker 3: So now the other trick is you got to have

848
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:23,719
Speaker 3: accountability partners that are actually gonna do the thing that

849
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 3: you want, you know what I mean. You can't just

850
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:27,800
Speaker 3: be one. You can't just be the one for everything,

851
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:30,320
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. So people have certain like

852
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:35,040
Speaker 3: they have talents in certain areas. Right, my accountability partner

853
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:36,800
Speaker 3: for the gym is my trainer.

854
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:38,600
Speaker 1: Oh will you pay him?

855
00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:39,040
Speaker 3: Yeah?

856
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:41,160
Speaker 2: But like, but there are people who are able to

857
00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:43,839
Speaker 2: get up and just go to the gym without somebody.

858
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:44,320
Speaker 2: I can't do that.

859
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:46,400
Speaker 3: No, I need somebody who's gonna yell at me or

860
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:48,319
Speaker 3: I know that, like if I'm five minutes late, they're

861
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:50,160
Speaker 3: gonna be pissed and make me run an extra half mile,

862
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:52,440
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. So even though it's like, yes,

863
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 3: I pay my trainer, he is my accountability partner, and

864
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 3: that has to work, Like.

865
00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:58,440
Speaker 2: It doesn't work any other way.

866
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:00,520
Speaker 3: What you're telling me, you could do that, But there

867
00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:02,799
Speaker 3: are some people who like they don't feel like they

868
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 3: need a trainer because they don't want to pay the

869
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 3: extra money and they have discipline enough to get up

870
00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:08,279
Speaker 3: and go to the gym and work out themselves. And

871
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't have that, and so I do

872
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:14,440
Speaker 3: need him as an accountability partner or one of my girlfriends.

873
00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:19,360
Speaker 2: She Oh my gosh, she's the she is wonderful at

874
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:19,960
Speaker 2: self care.

875
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:21,040
Speaker 1: You know.

876
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:23,920
Speaker 3: She's the one who's like, hey, somebody we know or not.

877
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:26,200
Speaker 3: I know, I don't think you no, no, no, But

878
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:30,400
Speaker 3: she's great at self care, like meaning that she is

879
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:36,200
Speaker 3: going to, you know, do the the meditation, meditation and

880
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:40,400
Speaker 3: some massages that aren't just like you know, like flighty,

881
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:41,760
Speaker 3: but it's like the tissue.

882
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 1: You know.

883
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 3: She's the one who's gonna call me on Sunday, you know,

884
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 3: or maybe on Saturday, I say, hey, look, you need it.

885
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:51,279
Speaker 3: Did you schedule like deep body work because you need

886
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:52,200
Speaker 3: that that acupuncture?

887
00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:52,960
Speaker 2: Did you get it done?

888
00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:53,759
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?

889
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,960
Speaker 3: Because I need somebody like that, even though it's on

890
00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:59,040
Speaker 3: my calendar. I'm gonna need somebody to tell me that

891
00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:00,320
Speaker 3: I've got to do it, you know.

892
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:03,200
Speaker 1: So there's just that's good different people. Are you that

893
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:05,239
Speaker 1: for anybody? Oh? Yeah, a lot of people.

894
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 2: Oh yes, yes, you know what.

895
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:10,000
Speaker 3: My my big my big trick, my big talent is budgeting.

896
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 3: I'm really really good at that, like money. Yeah, And

897
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:17,200
Speaker 3: so I have quite a few friends that I've made

898
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:17,840
Speaker 3: budgets for.

899
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 2: And we we share. We share it in my.

900
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:24,320
Speaker 1: Life because I need a budget and I need all

901
00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:26,880
Speaker 1: I need a wellness ability partner.

902
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:30,960
Speaker 3: It can be both, no, but for real, like, I

903
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:33,560
Speaker 3: will create the budget, and you know, it's like, girl,

904
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:35,400
Speaker 3: you gotta be honest though I'm dealing with you, know

905
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:35,759
Speaker 3: what I mean.

906
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:36,320
Speaker 2: You gotta tell me.

907
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:38,719
Speaker 3: It's like, hey, look, no, you don't want to say

908
00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:40,440
Speaker 3: how much you spent on shopping, but you got to

909
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:41,680
Speaker 3: tell me. You don't want to tell me how much

910
00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:43,560
Speaker 3: you spent on your looker, but you got to tell me.

911
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:45,359
Speaker 3: And you know, then I work it out and then

912
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:47,319
Speaker 3: we share the sheet and I can see what you're doing.

913
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:50,120
Speaker 3: You're a really good friend to your friends, are I am?

914
00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:53,120
Speaker 2: Yeah? I love my friends. Yeah yeah, longtime friends too.

915
00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:55,160
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, you must have chosen.

916
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:57,640
Speaker 2: Well, Oh my gosh, I have. I have so many

917
00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 2: friends that I've known for decades.

918
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:00,400
Speaker 1: Mm hm.

919
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:04,360
Speaker 3: You know that I still hold very very close. It's

920
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:07,040
Speaker 3: such a it's really such a blessing. But then they

921
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 3: all fight because they everybody thinks they're my best friend.

922
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:12,239
Speaker 3: And I'm like, but there's like twelve of you.

923
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:17,880
Speaker 1: Wait, so where are all twelve, So you're going to

924
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:18,319
Speaker 1: do a wedding.

925
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:19,920
Speaker 3: Oh my god, are you going to ask me that

926
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 3: question about the bridesmaids? Is that what you're gonna say?

927
00:41:22,719 --> 00:41:25,640
Speaker 3: It is a current issue that I have. It's a

928
00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:26,200
Speaker 3: big problem.

929
00:41:26,239 --> 00:41:27,200
Speaker 1: I was tapping in. I felt that.

930
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:29,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you could feel it. It's a big problem

931
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:31,480
Speaker 3: because there's so many want to be the are you

932
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:33,560
Speaker 3: kidding me? They have they have a group chat called

933
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 3: the Actual Besties that they put me in because they

934
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:38,960
Speaker 3: get pissed off when I call somebody else a bestie.

935
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:40,400
Speaker 1: That's funny.

936
00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:42,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so they all expect to be in the

937
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:45,359
Speaker 2: wedding party. And I'm like, oh, so wait.

938
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:49,239
Speaker 1: This is first of all, your ability to not have

939
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:54,600
Speaker 1: like love trauma. Oh I'm sure you have so, but

940
00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:58,840
Speaker 1: it hasn't It hasn't stifled you. It hasn't stopped you

941
00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:01,520
Speaker 1: or paralyzed you from trying it again.

942
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,520
Speaker 3: You mean like romantic love? Yeah, oh yeah, no, No,

943
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:07,799
Speaker 3: it's terrible. I've had to have a lot of therapy. Yeah,

944
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:08,760
Speaker 3: a lot of therapy.

945
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:10,680
Speaker 1: So if you haven't read her book, which you guys should,

946
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:14,520
Speaker 1: she had a lost young in life at twenty one,

947
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:19,799
Speaker 1: a boyfriend who took his own life. Yeah, and you're

948
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:23,400
Speaker 1: still storytelling around that was, oh who's you know? And

949
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:26,719
Speaker 1: I felt that Yeah, but you you even to the

950
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 1: loss of that moment, Ben right, Yeah, Ben, you still

951
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:34,360
Speaker 1: went and you still got married to and then the

952
00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:38,040
Speaker 1: marriage was you were separated, so that wasn't working. Then

953
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:41,319
Speaker 1: if that wasn't enough, then you lost your husband. Yeah,

954
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:44,200
Speaker 1: and then you still Yeah, get back on the horse.

955
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:50,600
Speaker 3: I know. Well, some of it is uh being a

956
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:54,360
Speaker 3: deep romantic m hm. You know, really, I really do

957
00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 3: believe in love. I love love, but also a lot

958
00:42:57,719 --> 00:42:58,160
Speaker 3: of therapy.

959
00:42:58,480 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 1: Yeah. But also is it scary?

960
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 3: Oh, It's very scary. It's very scary because I'm like,

961
00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:04,319
Speaker 3: anything could happen.

962
00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:04,879
Speaker 1: Yeah.

963
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:08,239
Speaker 3: Yo, It's like I've said it a million times. I'll

964
00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:10,520
Speaker 3: say it again now, I don't want to be in

965
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:13,680
Speaker 3: the front row of the of a church for funeral ever.

966
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 1: Again.

967
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:17,279
Speaker 3: I've talked to God about it quite a bit, you

968
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:19,120
Speaker 3: know that, I just I just don't. I don't want

969
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:24,080
Speaker 3: to be in that pew. And and then gosh, I'm

970
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:27,640
Speaker 3: talking about this out loud, but I do hear God

971
00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:31,759
Speaker 3: very clearly. And his response to me was like, so

972
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:32,959
Speaker 3: do you want to die first?

973
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:36,040
Speaker 2: And I was like, well, no, I didn't say that,

974
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:40,799
Speaker 2: like you want to go down. I still got things

975
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:43,320
Speaker 2: to do, you know, But like, it's just it sucks.

976
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:46,960
Speaker 2: It is the worst. It is awful, and at the

977
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:50,200
Speaker 2: same time, I don't I don't want to spend my

978
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 2: life without love.

979
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:52,520
Speaker 1: Mhmm.

980
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:55,600
Speaker 3: It's such a So you do it with the fear.

981
00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:57,600
Speaker 3: You just do it with it with the fear. Do

982
00:43:57,760 --> 00:44:00,440
Speaker 3: with the fear and hopefully some of the lessons. You know,

983
00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 3: I know one thing for sure, given what I dealt

984
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 3: with with my husband in our separation, that I won't

985
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:13,480
Speaker 3: make those mistakes again. You know, I won't take the

986
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 3: relationship for granted. You know that I will fight for

987
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 3: it in ways I didn't fight for my first marriage.

988
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:21,200
Speaker 3: And that's what makes me feel like, Okay, let me

989
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 3: do it again, let me.

990
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 1: Get back on the horse.

991
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:22,879
Speaker 2: See.

992
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:24,960
Speaker 1: But how does that show up? Because I'm sure you're

993
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 1: not the only woman who's dealt with loss and grief.

994
00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 1: I mean, you know people deal with that old time

995
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:34,759
Speaker 1: widows who are don't even know how to get back

996
00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:36,640
Speaker 1: on the horses, can't even imagine getting back.

997
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 3: Or people who like are divorced and they were cheated

998
00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:41,080
Speaker 3: on or betrayal in some other way.

999
00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:42,439
Speaker 2: Like how do you trust somebody again?

1000
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:43,120
Speaker 1: You know?

1001
00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 3: And I actually do think that it's all seated from

1002
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:48,200
Speaker 3: the same place is trust, you know, because I have

1003
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:51,880
Speaker 3: to trust that this man won't die on me, not

1004
00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:54,600
Speaker 3: because of his own doing, but just trust in general right,

1005
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:56,800
Speaker 3: trust of God, trusted the universe, trust.

1006
00:44:56,640 --> 00:45:00,279
Speaker 2: Of medical care. And then there's some people who have

1007
00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:01,960
Speaker 2: to trust that this person won't cheat on you.

1008
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:03,719
Speaker 1: You know.

1009
00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:05,520
Speaker 2: It's like, look, I've had a boyfriend who had a

1010
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 2: baby on me, So there's that I it's not a

1011
00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:12,000
Speaker 2: shit happens.

1012
00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:15,279
Speaker 3: Shit happens Jesus, you know. But the thing is that,

1013
00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:20,600
Speaker 3: like I feel like all of that lack of trust

1014
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:23,840
Speaker 3: is what then creates the bitterness and then draws up

1015
00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:26,120
Speaker 3: the walls. And so I have to also be very

1016
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:29,680
Speaker 3: self aware when I start to say things or behave

1017
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:32,279
Speaker 3: in a way that is showing up because I don't

1018
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:32,640
Speaker 3: trust you.

1019
00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:35,200
Speaker 1: So what do you say to a woman who's having

1020
00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:36,719
Speaker 1: a hard time getting back on the horse.

1021
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:40,239
Speaker 2: Oh, God, first of all, get some therapy. Okay, you

1022
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 2: need professional help.

1023
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:42,279
Speaker 1: You know.

1024
00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:44,839
Speaker 3: We'd like to talk about healing and go heal sis

1025
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:46,760
Speaker 3: and all that. And you think it's just a massage.

1026
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:49,279
Speaker 3: It's not, you know, it's deep rooted work. Get a

1027
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:50,240
Speaker 3: really great.

1028
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:51,160
Speaker 2: Therapist, you know.

1029
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:53,120
Speaker 3: And by the way, it's not like it needs to

1030
00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:55,399
Speaker 3: cost a lot of money. Just get somebody who gets

1031
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 3: you and talk to them. It could even be your

1032
00:45:57,719 --> 00:46:00,560
Speaker 3: pastor you know. But just get some additional help so

1033
00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:02,800
Speaker 3: that you can work out the issues that you have,

1034
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 3: because otherwise there is no starting. There's there's no getting

1035
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 3: on the horse unless you truly have healed from the

1036
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:11,160
Speaker 3: things or have the tools to be able to heal.

1037
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:14,239
Speaker 2: And then, I mean the other thing. It sounds easy

1038
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:17,319
Speaker 2: to say, but it's like you gotta you gotta trust.

1039
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:17,960
Speaker 1: You know.

1040
00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:20,120
Speaker 3: That's the thing that I'm working on, which is that

1041
00:46:20,480 --> 00:46:23,919
Speaker 3: is that going It's going better. It is going better,

1042
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:26,400
Speaker 3: you know. And that's why I can also move forward

1043
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:30,240
Speaker 3: and enjoy because otherwise I would be really terrified about

1044
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:34,719
Speaker 3: the next steps in committing to somebody again in such

1045
00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:35,840
Speaker 3: a public ways.

1046
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,000
Speaker 1: I know, this is you're doing this public late now,

1047
00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:40,520
Speaker 1: all opinions.

1048
00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:42,759
Speaker 2: Everybody has an opinion.

1049
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:47,960
Speaker 1: That I hate it so much, that's so honest. Most

1050
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,080
Speaker 1: people be like, I don't care, but I care.

1051
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:57,279
Speaker 2: I care. I'm responding. I mean, you know that cat

1052
00:46:57,880 --> 00:46:59,560
Speaker 2: what that's like, that's me.

1053
00:47:01,719 --> 00:47:05,279
Speaker 3: The comments because it gets to my nerves so much

1054
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:11,160
Speaker 3: like you don't know us, you don't know him, red

1055
00:47:11,239 --> 00:47:13,759
Speaker 3: flags what you know?

1056
00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:16,279
Speaker 2: So yeah, I gotta respond, but.

1057
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:18,839
Speaker 1: You don't let it because you know, sometimes you could

1058
00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:21,560
Speaker 1: read something a red flag and somebody put suppose, oh

1059
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:22,280
Speaker 1: there's a red.

1060
00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:22,640
Speaker 2: Flag of this.

1061
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:29,919
Speaker 3: Sometimes outside could start to see something because yeah, yeah,

1062
00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:31,880
Speaker 3: well you know how I deal with that is that

1063
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:32,719
Speaker 3: I just talk about it.

1064
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 1: I'm really getting out.

1065
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:34,600
Speaker 2: About it, yeaheah.

1066
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:34,839
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1067
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:37,000
Speaker 3: So actually, funny enough, I was talking to Achille about

1068
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:38,799
Speaker 3: that last night. Somebody had comments or something.

1069
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:42,080
Speaker 2: I was like, and I was gonna say blah blah

1070
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:42,600
Speaker 2: blah blah.

1071
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:46,200
Speaker 3: Blah, and he was like, please please don't. He's like,

1072
00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:48,360
Speaker 3: let it, let it just be, Let it ride. You

1073
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:50,640
Speaker 3: don't know, like we don't know what's going on in

1074
00:47:50,719 --> 00:47:51,120
Speaker 3: their life.

1075
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:53,239
Speaker 2: Let it let it just be. You know, we know

1076
00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:55,759
Speaker 2: that's not true. And I'm like, oh, but still they

1077
00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:58,800
Speaker 2: shouldn't say that kind of stuff. You're not just be pissed.

1078
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 2: But it does help to be able to talk about it.

1079
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:05,520
Speaker 3: You know. I think for me what works is not

1080
00:48:06,040 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 3: holding things inside. Yeah, Oh, that's letting it stoop. And

1081
00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:15,919
Speaker 3: while you might think like, oh, let me not yeah,

1082
00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:17,719
Speaker 3: let me not go to my partner about that, let

1083
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:19,080
Speaker 3: me not go to my kid about that, let me

1084
00:48:19,160 --> 00:48:20,799
Speaker 3: not go to my friend about that, It's like, no.

1085
00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:21,640
Speaker 2: No, no, I'm gonna just go.

1086
00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:23,759
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to all of them.

1087
00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:25,160
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go to all of them all of that.

1088
00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:28,960
Speaker 3: So they said, and that's how I feel, and that's

1089
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:30,879
Speaker 3: how I feel about it. I'm pissed about it because

1090
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:32,239
Speaker 3: I don't think it's true, but like, what do you

1091
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:35,040
Speaker 3: think about it? You know, and then let's talk it.

1092
00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:36,239
Speaker 2: Out and then you get it out, and then I

1093
00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:37,960
Speaker 2: get it out, and then that way, I'm not holding

1094
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:38,320
Speaker 2: onto it.

1095
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:39,000
Speaker 1: It's so good.

1096
00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:41,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, I definitely don't want to hold onto anything.

1097
00:48:41,480 --> 00:48:43,399
Speaker 1: You have that relationship with your daughter too. As a mother,

1098
00:48:43,640 --> 00:48:45,040
Speaker 1: you mother that way as well.

1099
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:46,680
Speaker 2: I'm mother that way for sure.

1100
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:49,800
Speaker 3: But that also came out of the grief of losing

1101
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:54,360
Speaker 3: her dad, you know, like I And again, I've been

1102
00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:56,880
Speaker 3: honest about this before, so now I'm saying anything out

1103
00:48:56,920 --> 00:48:57,279
Speaker 3: of turn.

1104
00:48:57,400 --> 00:48:59,520
Speaker 2: But I was not the one who wants to start

1105
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:02,360
Speaker 2: a family, m you know, Peter wanted the family.

1106
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:04,680
Speaker 3: Then I was just like, oh, and then you just

1107
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:08,719
Speaker 3: die and leave me here like you were supposed to

1108
00:49:08,719 --> 00:49:10,880
Speaker 3: be over here help me to raise this person. And

1109
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:14,360
Speaker 3: she was four when he died, you know. And so

1110
00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:17,160
Speaker 3: now I'm looking at this child and I'm like, oh, shoot,

1111
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:21,600
Speaker 3: like I've still got high ambitions, you know, still i

1112
00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:23,719
Speaker 3: still want to achieve in my career, but now I

1113
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:26,279
Speaker 3: have the pressure of like, oh god, now people are

1114
00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:28,960
Speaker 3: looking at me because I'm supposed to be this mom

1115
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:31,680
Speaker 3: who bakes cookies and takes it to the PTA meeting.

1116
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:35,040
Speaker 2: I don't even like cookies like that, you know what

1117
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:35,479
Speaker 2: I'm saying.

1118
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:38,600
Speaker 3: And I don't and I don't like to watch the

1119
00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:41,160
Speaker 3: kids movies, and I don't like Disneyland.

1120
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:43,359
Speaker 2: Probably sound like a horrible person.

1121
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:46,560
Speaker 3: And that's how like my relationship with my daughter, I

1122
00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:51,320
Speaker 3: think became so forged, yo, because I was honest with

1123
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:54,400
Speaker 3: her about a lot of things at four, which I

1124
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:56,560
Speaker 3: know that people were like, oh, you know, you can't

1125
00:49:56,600 --> 00:50:00,600
Speaker 3: tell the kids all the truth, and real really great

1126
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:03,480
Speaker 3: friend Melissa Robinson who was the one who said, you know,

1127
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:04,839
Speaker 3: you should just tell the truth.

1128
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:06,799
Speaker 2: I've always telling the truth.

1129
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:10,000
Speaker 3: And also respecting her enough to hear the things that

1130
00:50:10,120 --> 00:50:13,279
Speaker 3: she wants to do that are important to her and

1131
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:16,799
Speaker 3: honoring that right, but also being like, hey, look, we've

1132
00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:18,920
Speaker 3: got to have some balance here, you know what I mean,

1133
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,440
Speaker 3: because it's not like every day you say something and

1134
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:24,279
Speaker 3: then mommy drops everything and then does that like it

1135
00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:26,759
Speaker 3: has to be really important, like if you want me

1136
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:30,520
Speaker 3: at this basketball game, let's put on the calendar. Okay,

1137
00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:35,560
Speaker 3: And that was at four. Yeah, I was like, you,

1138
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 3: you know, you need me to come to this meeting

1139
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:42,359
Speaker 3: or this play or recital or whatever. Let's put it down.

1140
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:45,520
Speaker 3: What's the date? Show me where your coach or the

1141
00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 3: teacher said, you know, what was the date, So let's

1142
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:48,960
Speaker 3: look at that and then let's put and so she

1143
00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 3: could she would see that like I was intentional with

1144
00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:55,719
Speaker 3: putting her important things on my calendar and nothing would

1145
00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:57,120
Speaker 3: stop me from coming to the thing.

1146
00:50:57,680 --> 00:50:59,640
Speaker 2: But it wasn't every day, you know.

1147
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:01,840
Speaker 3: So yeah, I missed a lot of games, I missed

1148
00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:05,160
Speaker 3: a lot of recitals, Like I was traveling around ambitious,

1149
00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:07,760
Speaker 3: trying to get to the next level of my career.

1150
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:10,600
Speaker 3: But if you asked her today, like was your mom present,

1151
00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:13,000
Speaker 3: She'd be like, oh yeah, because I was there for

1152
00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:15,320
Speaker 3: all the stuff that she needed and that she wanted,

1153
00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:18,719
Speaker 3: and so for me it's like we can have every

1154
00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:22,560
Speaker 3: kind of conversation now because we've had a decade of that.

1155
00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:25,400
Speaker 1: That's so good. Yeah, and you're super and she's what sixteen,

1156
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:27,360
Speaker 1: she's sixteen. Yeah, that's amazing.

1157
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:27,680
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1158
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:31,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, how she dealing with this newfound reality and oh

1159
00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:31,759
Speaker 1: my gosh.

1160
00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:34,520
Speaker 3: Well, I told you I don't take anybody's opinions about

1161
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:38,440
Speaker 3: what I do but lay else. Yeah, And so I

1162
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:42,400
Speaker 3: wasn't necessarily asking her permission, but I was informing her

1163
00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:45,600
Speaker 3: to see how she'd feel about it, and also saying like,

1164
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:48,360
Speaker 3: I'll give you a choice if you want to participate,

1165
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:50,840
Speaker 3: you know, because I couldn't say like, hey, look you

1166
00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:52,800
Speaker 3: can have me, but you can't have my kid, you know,

1167
00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:54,719
Speaker 3: like I'll talk about all this other stuff, but that

1168
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:57,080
Speaker 3: that is the fourth rail camp.

1169
00:51:57,160 --> 00:51:57,359
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1170
00:51:57,520 --> 00:52:01,440
Speaker 3: So she was very excited though, which surprised me because

1171
00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:04,640
Speaker 3: we are very different in personality. Like she's not a showman,

1172
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:07,320
Speaker 3: you know, she does not the one who's like, you know,

1173
00:52:07,480 --> 00:52:10,400
Speaker 3: wants to be in the mix and conversations.

1174
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:12,440
Speaker 2: She's very thoughtful and quiet and.

1175
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:14,840
Speaker 3: We'll say the things that she says and mean it,

1176
00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:19,359
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. From so, but I've been

1177
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:20,880
Speaker 3: I've been shocked by how.

1178
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:22,560
Speaker 2: Open.

1179
00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:25,560
Speaker 3: But she's been because we've had a lot of very

1180
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:29,520
Speaker 3: serious conversations on the show. We talked about IVF, you know,

1181
00:52:29,680 --> 00:52:32,600
Speaker 3: we talked about obviously kihly and getting married again, like,

1182
00:52:32,800 --> 00:52:37,000
Speaker 3: and she's has some very very deep thoughts that I

1183
00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:39,279
Speaker 3: was like, who but the camera's still rolling, you know

1184
00:52:39,320 --> 00:52:43,000
Speaker 3: what I mean? Yeah, and you know, just being like, hey,

1185
00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:44,920
Speaker 3: you okay with saying that out loud and she's like, yes,

1186
00:52:45,239 --> 00:52:45,800
Speaker 3: I'm fine.

1187
00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:46,319
Speaker 1: Because you're her mother.

1188
00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:48,319
Speaker 2: He's like, you'll say that thing. Yeah.

1189
00:52:48,440 --> 00:52:50,000
Speaker 1: So she's just taking to another level.

1190
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:52,359
Speaker 2: She's saying the level all the things.

1191
00:52:52,719 --> 00:52:52,920
Speaker 1: You know.

1192
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:57,040
Speaker 3: But it's been very because I feel like we can

1193
00:52:57,239 --> 00:53:00,279
Speaker 3: have those serious conversations and the reason why it comes

1194
00:53:00,320 --> 00:53:03,040
Speaker 3: across authentically is because that's that's how we talk to

1195
00:53:03,120 --> 00:53:04,440
Speaker 3: each other normally.

1196
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:06,920
Speaker 1: You are low key kind of built to do this.

1197
00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:11,040
Speaker 1: I think it's such a great it kind of makes sense.

1198
00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:13,320
Speaker 1: All right. We have a couple of segments we gotta do.

1199
00:53:13,360 --> 00:53:15,400
Speaker 1: I just gave me a little time check out. I

1200
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:18,480
Speaker 1: feel like we just started. I know, hey guys, you

1201
00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:20,680
Speaker 1: ever sign up for a phone plan thinking wow, what

1202
00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:22,799
Speaker 1: a great price, and then a few months later it's

1203
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:24,520
Speaker 1: like surprise, your bill is higher.

1204
00:53:25,080 --> 00:53:25,719
Speaker 4: We hate that.

1205
00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:29,360
Speaker 1: With Boost Mobile, you pay twenty five dollars a month forever.

1206
00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:32,520
Speaker 1: That's unlimited talk, text and data starting at just twenty

1207
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:35,400
Speaker 1: five dollars a month. There's no price hikes, there's no contract,

1208
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:38,520
Speaker 1: and this is forever. Plus. Boost Mobile is now a

1209
00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:42,879
Speaker 1: legit nationwide five G network. They invested billions building five

1210
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:46,200
Speaker 1: G towers across the country. So what you need to

1211
00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:48,719
Speaker 1: do is visit boostmobile dot com or head to your

1212
00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:51,640
Speaker 1: local Boots store today and get unlimited talk, text and

1213
00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:54,880
Speaker 1: data for twenty five dollars a month forever. Five G

1214
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:57,480
Speaker 1: speed is not available in all areas. After thirty gigabytes,

1215
00:53:57,560 --> 00:54:00,879
Speaker 1: customers may experience lower speeds. Customers will pay twenty five

1216
00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:03,239
Speaker 1: dollars a month as long as they remain active on

1217
00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:08,000
Speaker 1: the Boost Unlimited plan. Okay, IR segments. Ready, we got

1218
00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:09,839
Speaker 1: a bowl, We got a voice note for you. These

1219
00:54:09,840 --> 00:54:13,239
Speaker 1: are we got things this segment segment. Time are we doing?

1220
00:54:13,880 --> 00:54:14,560
Speaker 1: Voice note? First?

1221
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:16,279
Speaker 2: This is our voice note. Voice note.

1222
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:19,640
Speaker 1: It's usually a fan or listener of the pod. We

1223
00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:21,959
Speaker 1: write who's coming by, and they send you a note.

1224
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:24,319
Speaker 1: They send you a voice note. It's usually a question

1225
00:54:24,440 --> 00:54:27,800
Speaker 1: of comment. Sometimes it's a I don't know a story

1226
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:29,759
Speaker 1: or something or thank you. I don't know what this is.

1227
00:54:30,120 --> 00:54:30,799
Speaker 1: What do we got.

1228
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:35,040
Speaker 5: Hobbo's My name is Stephen, and I would love some

1229
00:54:35,160 --> 00:54:39,600
Speaker 5: help here. My wife, she's an absolute beast at work

1230
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:42,960
Speaker 5: and I am always telling her to kind of put

1231
00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:46,120
Speaker 5: her wins and her accomplishments out on social media. But

1232
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:49,719
Speaker 5: she like suffers from imposter syndrome. She feels like not

1233
00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:51,680
Speaker 5: only does she not really belong, but she also doesn't

1234
00:54:51,680 --> 00:54:54,319
Speaker 5: want to like brag in people's faces. But also at

1235
00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:55,520
Speaker 5: the end of the day, like I feel like she's

1236
00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:57,560
Speaker 5: missing out on a lot that what could be coming

1237
00:54:57,640 --> 00:55:00,480
Speaker 5: to her if she was louder about herself. Uh So,

1238
00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:02,960
Speaker 5: if you have any advice on good words of encouragement

1239
00:55:03,440 --> 00:55:07,040
Speaker 5: or even more like strategical points here, that would be

1240
00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:07,640
Speaker 5: super helpful.

1241
00:55:07,719 --> 00:55:09,160
Speaker 2: Thank you. Yes nice.

1242
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:12,480
Speaker 1: First of all, first, come on, now, okay, Now, that's

1243
00:55:12,480 --> 00:55:14,600
Speaker 1: a good husband. The fact that he's a good man,

1244
00:55:14,680 --> 00:55:17,080
Speaker 1: The fact that his question is for his wife, for

1245
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:19,719
Speaker 1: his wife, his girlfriend wife wife. We don't know if

1246
00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:21,640
Speaker 1: her name is Savannah, but Savannah.

1247
00:55:23,280 --> 00:55:26,439
Speaker 2: A good man, Savannah. No, for real, he's great.

1248
00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:29,400
Speaker 1: Yes, he's being so thoughtful about what's good for you

1249
00:55:29,560 --> 00:55:30,200
Speaker 1: in your future.

1250
00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:33,399
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, okay, now here's the answer. For Savannah. We're

1251
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:34,280
Speaker 3: just gonna call her Savannah.

1252
00:55:34,360 --> 00:55:34,920
Speaker 2: You know her name.

1253
00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:36,720
Speaker 1: He's so funny.

1254
00:55:37,719 --> 00:55:41,400
Speaker 3: The thing is, uh, there's two very very big points.

1255
00:55:41,440 --> 00:55:47,680
Speaker 3: First is about bragging, right. We we very much misinterpret

1256
00:55:48,920 --> 00:55:54,880
Speaker 3: what is just your credits with bragging because you shouldn't

1257
00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:58,400
Speaker 3: talk about the stuff that you didn't do, you know.

1258
00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:02,200
Speaker 3: And that's what we rail against when somebody's telling us

1259
00:56:02,239 --> 00:56:04,560
Speaker 3: about their accomplishments and it just seems so large because

1260
00:56:04,640 --> 00:56:07,160
Speaker 3: usually it's like, you didn't do all that, you know,

1261
00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:09,520
Speaker 3: and we can tell, so it's like you're talking about

1262
00:56:09,560 --> 00:56:12,040
Speaker 3: the specific things that you did within the larger win.

1263
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:15,839
Speaker 3: And that's what actually helps with your not only your credibility,

1264
00:56:15,920 --> 00:56:18,640
Speaker 3: but the brand, so that people know that, like, ah,

1265
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:20,800
Speaker 3: Savannah did this, she's good at that.

1266
00:56:21,560 --> 00:56:21,680
Speaker 1: You know.

1267
00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:24,280
Speaker 2: It's like even for me, I'm not great at everything,

1268
00:56:24,920 --> 00:56:25,680
Speaker 2: but I'm.

1269
00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:29,000
Speaker 3: Exceptional at these few things and that's what I take

1270
00:56:29,080 --> 00:56:31,920
Speaker 3: credit for, and that's what I talk about, so that

1271
00:56:32,040 --> 00:56:33,920
Speaker 3: people know that, like, oh, if you want both to

1272
00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:35,920
Speaker 3: do X, Y and Z, she could do that. Nobody's

1273
00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:38,920
Speaker 3: gonna call me to be the data queen. I'm not

1274
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:41,120
Speaker 3: that person, you know, you want me to talk to

1275
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:44,279
Speaker 3: you about why TUPACA is important. Fantastic, I got you, Yo.

1276
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:47,360
Speaker 3: You want me to tell you why the NFL is

1277
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:49,719
Speaker 3: important to this moment in time in sports. I will

1278
00:56:49,760 --> 00:56:52,440
Speaker 3: tell you that, yo, Like I understand pop culture and

1279
00:56:52,560 --> 00:56:53,960
Speaker 3: can tell you all the things you need to do.

1280
00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:56,319
Speaker 3: And by the way, I backed it up with experiences

1281
00:56:56,480 --> 00:56:59,920
Speaker 3: and with programs that I've created, and so that's what

1282
00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:02,400
Speaker 3: Savannah needs to do. It's like you're just talking about

1283
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:04,759
Speaker 3: the things that you're good at, and so talking about

1284
00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:07,719
Speaker 3: it publicly just takes it to the next level because

1285
00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:10,600
Speaker 3: you're actually talking about the specific role that you played

1286
00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:13,200
Speaker 3: in X, Y and Z thing, and that is important

1287
00:57:13,239 --> 00:57:16,919
Speaker 3: to do. Next the impositive syndrome thing. That's really gets

1288
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:21,840
Speaker 3: on my nerves because I have used this example before

1289
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:27,800
Speaker 3: about physics, right that matter is anything. It can be liquid,

1290
00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:31,640
Speaker 3: it can be something solid. But matter is made up

1291
00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:35,280
Speaker 3: of molecules and each molecule is really important. And so

1292
00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:37,520
Speaker 3: you take a molecule out of a matter and the

1293
00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:40,320
Speaker 3: matter changes. You add a molecule into the matter and

1294
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:43,200
Speaker 3: the matter changes. That is physics, it's science. You are

1295
00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:47,600
Speaker 3: the molecule inside every matter. So whether that is a company,

1296
00:57:48,240 --> 00:57:53,120
Speaker 3: it's the school, it's your softball team. You are the molecule,

1297
00:57:53,200 --> 00:57:55,320
Speaker 3: and so why would you not consider that you are

1298
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:58,680
Speaker 3: important in the room. You leave that room and it

1299
00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:00,120
Speaker 3: changes because you're.

1300
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:00,560
Speaker 2: Not in there.

1301
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:04,000
Speaker 3: And so therefore all of the experiences you have, all

1302
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:07,160
Speaker 3: of the history, the knowledge, et cetera, is important to

1303
00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:10,480
Speaker 3: change in the room. Why else are you there? And

1304
00:58:10,640 --> 00:58:12,920
Speaker 3: something brought you there? And then let's go to the

1305
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:16,280
Speaker 3: math of it. All right, if you go back twelve generations,

1306
00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:19,480
Speaker 3: there's like twelve thousand people that it took to create

1307
00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:23,560
Speaker 3: you individual to be in this room. How how dare

1308
00:58:23,640 --> 00:58:27,760
Speaker 3: you walk in there with the four thousand? They're really

1309
00:58:27,840 --> 00:58:31,080
Speaker 3: important and they contributed to you being in the room.

1310
00:58:31,720 --> 00:58:37,800
Speaker 3: So sis Savannah, girl, listen, girl, you are the molecule

1311
00:58:38,120 --> 00:58:40,360
Speaker 3: and you change the matter every room that you're in.

1312
00:58:40,480 --> 00:58:42,960
Speaker 3: So don't have imposter syndrome. You belong in the room.

1313
00:58:43,240 --> 00:58:45,120
Speaker 3: Those four thousand people work so you could be there,

1314
00:58:45,400 --> 00:58:49,840
Speaker 3: so act like it. Hell yeah, good job, Steven.

1315
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:53,280
Speaker 2: Yay Steven. Hey guys.

1316
00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:56,040
Speaker 4: Support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University.

1317
00:58:56,520 --> 00:58:57,280
Speaker 4: Have you ever thought to.

1318
00:58:57,280 --> 00:59:00,640
Speaker 1: Yourself, what if I could go after what I actually

1319
00:59:00,800 --> 00:59:03,640
Speaker 1: want and I could really make a difference. Well, you

1320
00:59:03,800 --> 00:59:05,960
Speaker 1: are not alone, and this is exactly why I want

1321
00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:07,440
Speaker 1: to tell you about Walden University.

1322
00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:11,200
Speaker 4: For over fifty years, Walden has helped working adults like

1323
00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:15,000
Speaker 4: you get the w with the knowledge, the skills and

1324
00:59:15,160 --> 00:59:17,280
Speaker 4: everything you need to build the future that you want.

1325
00:59:17,560 --> 00:59:19,720
Speaker 4: And you can make a difference where it matters most.

1326
00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:22,400
Speaker 4: If you've been waiting for the right moment, this is it.

1327
00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:26,040
Speaker 4: Head to WALDENU dot edu and take that first step.

1328
00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:30,440
Speaker 1: Walden University set a course for change, certified to operate

1329
00:59:30,520 --> 00:59:33,080
Speaker 1: by SHIV. All right, now, this is our irl bowl.

1330
00:59:33,160 --> 00:59:35,520
Speaker 2: Okay, real life bowl Okay, filled.

1331
00:59:35,280 --> 00:59:37,760
Speaker 1: With questions Okay, and I just think one.

1332
00:59:37,920 --> 00:59:40,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, what is your biggest challenge in this life? Oh

1333
00:59:40,960 --> 00:59:44,600
Speaker 3: my goodness, what is the biggest challenge in this life

1334
00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:44,920
Speaker 3: for you?

1335
00:59:45,680 --> 00:59:48,240
Speaker 1: Everybody's just different. I think everybody's walk is different.

1336
00:59:49,200 --> 00:59:52,160
Speaker 3: You know, what is the biggest challenge? What is your

1337
00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:58,560
Speaker 3: biggest my biggest challenge? What is my biggest challenge?

1338
00:59:58,640 --> 00:59:59,960
Speaker 2: That's a very very hard question.

1339
01:00:00,160 --> 01:00:02,120
Speaker 1: It is let me think what mine is whenever somebody

1340
01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:03,680
Speaker 1: can't whenever a hard question, like shit.

1341
01:00:03,640 --> 01:00:04,280
Speaker 2: Can I answer that?

1342
01:00:04,320 --> 01:00:05,040
Speaker 1: If it was in the bowl?

1343
01:00:06,120 --> 01:00:07,760
Speaker 2: Because the thing is that, like, look, I.

1344
01:00:09,720 --> 01:00:13,320
Speaker 3: I don't have a problem with time because I really

1345
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:15,760
Speaker 3: enjoyed my time and I'm not scared of like how

1346
01:00:15,840 --> 01:00:19,560
Speaker 3: much time I have really no, like I used to

1347
01:00:19,640 --> 01:00:22,880
Speaker 3: be scared a lot of like death. And you know,

1348
01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:24,280
Speaker 3: as I said, I told God, I don't want to

1349
01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:27,440
Speaker 3: go anytime soon. But the way that I combat that

1350
01:00:27,960 --> 01:00:32,880
Speaker 3: is that i want every day to be really really large,

1351
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:36,000
Speaker 3: you know, not that like I'm climbing everest or anything

1352
01:00:36,040 --> 01:00:38,160
Speaker 3: like that, but meaning that like I'm doing exactly what

1353
01:00:38,240 --> 01:00:39,880
Speaker 3: I want to do, like every.

1354
01:00:39,840 --> 01:00:42,560
Speaker 1: Day urgently, urgently, you know.

1355
01:00:42,680 --> 01:00:44,400
Speaker 2: Like nobody's going to stop me from doing the thing

1356
01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:44,880
Speaker 2: I want to do.

1357
01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:49,320
Speaker 3: And in that way, I feel like I will come

1358
01:00:49,400 --> 01:00:51,440
Speaker 3: to the end of my life regardless of when it is,

1359
01:00:51,560 --> 01:00:53,320
Speaker 3: and people will be like, god, damn, that girl.

1360
01:00:53,200 --> 01:00:54,560
Speaker 2: Lived you on.

1361
01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:56,560
Speaker 3: They're going to be like she had a big life

1362
01:00:57,200 --> 01:00:59,160
Speaker 3: because I lived it exactly how I want to. I'm

1363
01:00:59,160 --> 01:01:01,760
Speaker 3: not putting anything off. I'm not like, oh, retirement and

1364
01:01:01,840 --> 01:01:03,520
Speaker 3: then I'll do X, Y and Z thing I'm gonna

1365
01:01:03,520 --> 01:01:05,200
Speaker 3: do right now because I don't know if I'm gonna

1366
01:01:05,200 --> 01:01:07,080
Speaker 3: get there, so why not do it. So it's not

1367
01:01:07,240 --> 01:01:10,600
Speaker 3: like a fear of death. It's a motivator for me.

1368
01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:13,320
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know about the challenge one.

1369
01:01:13,840 --> 01:01:14,600
Speaker 2: That was a great question.

1370
01:01:14,720 --> 01:01:16,240
Speaker 1: I mean, that was a great answer. It doesn't have

1371
01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:19,680
Speaker 1: to be Okay, there's no rules, fantastic because I don't

1372
01:01:19,680 --> 01:01:23,960
Speaker 1: like rules. No way, there's no rules. You talked about

1373
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:27,640
Speaker 1: your connection to God and hearing his voice. Yeah, what

1374
01:01:27,920 --> 01:01:29,640
Speaker 1: does that sound like? And what do you ask for most?

1375
01:01:29,720 --> 01:01:31,040
Speaker 1: What do you pray for most sections?

1376
01:01:31,480 --> 01:01:34,840
Speaker 2: I pray for discernment all of the time. I just

1377
01:01:34,920 --> 01:01:37,960
Speaker 2: want to know, like, give me the vibes, you know.

1378
01:01:38,120 --> 01:01:42,520
Speaker 3: Whether it's people or an opportunity or whatever, even over email,

1379
01:01:42,680 --> 01:01:45,800
Speaker 3: give me the vibes, like, Lord, just let me know

1380
01:01:46,320 --> 01:01:48,360
Speaker 3: this person not for you. And I don't care if

1381
01:01:48,400 --> 01:01:51,400
Speaker 3: the person has introduced me to me by Oprah. I'm like,

1382
01:01:51,880 --> 01:01:52,760
Speaker 3: I don't want that person.

1383
01:01:52,880 --> 01:01:55,880
Speaker 2: I don't like him. The vibes is not right, you know.

1384
01:01:56,040 --> 01:01:58,000
Speaker 1: So is that how your prayer goes? Like you say,

1385
01:01:58,560 --> 01:01:59,920
Speaker 1: give me the vibes, You don't say the.

1386
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:00,520
Speaker 2: No I do.

1387
01:02:00,840 --> 01:02:03,760
Speaker 3: Oh my God, Me and God are homies, man, Yeah, no, no, no, no, no,

1388
01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:06,200
Speaker 3: I don't think God give me the vibe.

1389
01:02:06,280 --> 01:02:08,400
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah no. And that's the other thing. I

1390
01:02:08,440 --> 01:02:10,400
Speaker 2: don't know why people don't talk to God. Just normal.

1391
01:02:10,720 --> 01:02:12,760
Speaker 1: You know, why do you have to like to do

1392
01:02:12,880 --> 01:02:16,520
Speaker 1: all the thing it's to do with worship? No to

1393
01:02:16,640 --> 01:02:16,800
Speaker 1: do it?

1394
01:02:17,080 --> 01:02:18,360
Speaker 2: No, God, God knows us.

1395
01:02:18,760 --> 01:02:19,520
Speaker 1: You can talk normal.

1396
01:02:19,760 --> 01:02:23,360
Speaker 2: I talk normal, and I also get upset when something

1397
01:02:23,440 --> 01:02:24,320
Speaker 2: doesn't think that way.

1398
01:02:24,480 --> 01:02:25,960
Speaker 1: Close eyes oh do you?

1399
01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:26,280
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1400
01:02:26,360 --> 01:02:30,400
Speaker 1: You don't not really eyes open, yeah, talking you know.

1401
01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:32,560
Speaker 3: I mean I probably like if you had a camera

1402
01:02:32,600 --> 01:02:35,840
Speaker 3: there probably look nothing. But you know, but I'm usually talking.

1403
01:02:35,960 --> 01:02:37,640
Speaker 3: Like That's what I'm doing in that hour in the morning.

1404
01:02:37,680 --> 01:02:38,160
Speaker 2: I'm talking.

1405
01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:42,560
Speaker 3: I'm talking, I'm writing things down. I'm like, oh God,

1406
01:02:42,640 --> 01:02:45,280
Speaker 3: you know what I forgot to ask you? Could you

1407
01:02:45,880 --> 01:02:49,200
Speaker 3: get this person out of my life? Like no, I

1408
01:02:49,320 --> 01:02:51,080
Speaker 3: do that all the time, or like you know, We'll

1409
01:02:51,120 --> 01:02:53,000
Speaker 3: be in the car on the way here, I'd be like,

1410
01:02:53,240 --> 01:02:56,120
Speaker 3: oh God, you know, I forgot to say that I

1411
01:02:56,240 --> 01:02:58,760
Speaker 3: need more money for this wedding, so can I have

1412
01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:02,240
Speaker 3: another brand because I need one that's gonna pay for

1413
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:02,640
Speaker 3: this thing?

1414
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:04,080
Speaker 1: And you're just eyes open.

1415
01:03:04,160 --> 01:03:07,880
Speaker 3: Whoever's talking in front of people, yeah, yeah, because people

1416
01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:10,520
Speaker 3: just think that I'm saying like oh God, like you

1417
01:03:10,560 --> 01:03:11,200
Speaker 3: would say, oh God.

1418
01:03:11,240 --> 01:03:15,560
Speaker 1: But I'm actually being I'm being legit, like you're actually actually.

1419
01:03:15,360 --> 01:03:17,160
Speaker 2: Talking to God, God is always around.

1420
01:03:17,200 --> 01:03:20,600
Speaker 1: If people think you're being like not literal, like you, yeah,

1421
01:03:20,600 --> 01:03:21,560
Speaker 1: I know, but I'm being literal.

1422
01:03:21,680 --> 01:03:23,680
Speaker 2: I'm actually talking to God in that moment.

1423
01:03:23,920 --> 01:03:25,520
Speaker 3: Do you talk to Him all the time, all of

1424
01:03:25,600 --> 01:03:28,360
Speaker 3: the time, all day, all day, Well yeah, all day

1425
01:03:28,440 --> 01:03:29,440
Speaker 3: because I don't see it.

1426
01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:33,280
Speaker 1: Maybe that's good because it's if you have a routine, listen,

1427
01:03:33,360 --> 01:03:35,400
Speaker 1: nobody's way is wrong. But if you have a thing

1428
01:03:35,440 --> 01:03:39,200
Speaker 1: where you have to remove yourself get quiet, whether it's

1429
01:03:39,240 --> 01:03:42,240
Speaker 1: your knees or however you pray. But if then you're

1430
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:44,680
Speaker 1: limited in time, if you're talking to.

1431
01:03:44,760 --> 01:03:48,200
Speaker 3: Him all the time, then you don't you don't feel limited.

1432
01:03:48,440 --> 01:03:51,200
Speaker 3: But I do think it's important for me as the

1433
01:03:51,280 --> 01:03:54,400
Speaker 3: first thing in the morning, that first upon waking, that

1434
01:03:54,600 --> 01:03:56,160
Speaker 3: I am in some sort.

1435
01:03:56,000 --> 01:03:59,000
Speaker 2: Of communication with God. That's really really important to me.

1436
01:03:59,320 --> 01:04:01,640
Speaker 3: And a lot of times, I mean, I don't know

1437
01:04:01,680 --> 01:04:03,600
Speaker 3: if this happens to you, but like I wake up

1438
01:04:03,640 --> 01:04:06,200
Speaker 3: with things on my mind, you know, and so then

1439
01:04:06,240 --> 01:04:08,440
Speaker 3: I know immediately I got to go to God, you know,

1440
01:04:08,520 --> 01:04:10,800
Speaker 3: because whatever's on my mind, like if it's fear or

1441
01:04:11,240 --> 01:04:14,040
Speaker 3: there's some trepidation or like some big hope, I'm like,

1442
01:04:14,120 --> 01:04:16,880
Speaker 3: oh God, you gotta make this work you don't, and

1443
01:04:16,920 --> 01:04:18,640
Speaker 3: then I'll follow with like, but only if you want

1444
01:04:18,680 --> 01:04:21,520
Speaker 3: it to though, because I don't know what else you got. Okay, yes,

1445
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:23,680
Speaker 3: because I might be wanting this thing, but if I

1446
01:04:23,720 --> 01:04:25,360
Speaker 3: shouldn't have it, don't let me have it.

1447
01:04:25,440 --> 01:04:27,160
Speaker 2: I don't want it, Okay, I'm not asking you. Just

1448
01:04:27,200 --> 01:04:28,640
Speaker 2: give it to me. To give it to me. Give

1449
01:04:28,680 --> 01:04:29,760
Speaker 2: it to me because of the best thing.

1450
01:04:30,120 --> 01:04:31,360
Speaker 1: We even pray similar.

1451
01:04:31,480 --> 01:04:34,480
Speaker 2: That's so funny, harp, do that too.

1452
01:04:34,760 --> 01:04:35,600
Speaker 1: I really want this.

1453
01:04:37,560 --> 01:04:38,320
Speaker 2: Because I don't want it.

1454
01:04:38,360 --> 01:04:40,240
Speaker 1: If you don't want it, I don't like.

1455
01:04:40,320 --> 01:04:41,840
Speaker 2: If it's gonna mess me up, don't give it to me.

1456
01:04:41,920 --> 01:04:44,240
Speaker 2: And even if I don't understand that, I trust tru

1457
01:04:44,720 --> 01:04:47,120
Speaker 2: that part too. Yeah, you got you gotta have trust.

1458
01:04:47,640 --> 01:04:48,880
Speaker 2: God's not your back for sure.

1459
01:04:49,160 --> 01:04:52,720
Speaker 1: Yeah that's so good. All right, I have some I

1460
01:04:52,920 --> 01:04:53,600
Speaker 1: r LS for you.

1461
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:55,080
Speaker 2: Okay, what do you want.

1462
01:04:54,920 --> 01:04:58,160
Speaker 1: People to learn about you in real life? You can

1463
01:04:58,240 --> 01:04:59,760
Speaker 1: learn one thing from your life?

1464
01:05:00,560 --> 01:05:02,400
Speaker 2: Did I really don't take myself that seriously?

1465
01:05:03,600 --> 01:05:03,840
Speaker 1: Really?

1466
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:04,040
Speaker 5: Like?

1467
01:05:04,160 --> 01:05:04,360
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1468
01:05:04,640 --> 01:05:07,240
Speaker 2: Like, I really love the fun. I love some fun

1469
01:05:07,320 --> 01:05:07,680
Speaker 2: in life.

1470
01:05:08,120 --> 01:05:11,800
Speaker 1: If you were the leader of the world, the whole world, Yes,

1471
01:05:12,800 --> 01:05:14,240
Speaker 1: what would be the first thing that you would do?

1472
01:05:14,960 --> 01:05:15,840
Speaker 2: Redraw the maps.

1473
01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:19,160
Speaker 1: This is the first matter of business.

1474
01:05:21,800 --> 01:05:24,520
Speaker 2: I think it just says it's such a disservice, like

1475
01:05:24,640 --> 01:05:25,040
Speaker 2: the maps.

1476
01:05:25,120 --> 01:05:27,960
Speaker 3: The maps make us feel like we are beholden to

1477
01:05:28,120 --> 01:05:30,640
Speaker 3: a certain group of people, and then it keeps out

1478
01:05:30,800 --> 01:05:33,400
Speaker 3: other people. Like that's why I feel like the problems

1479
01:05:33,440 --> 01:05:36,920
Speaker 3: with racism and immigration and all these things them from

1480
01:05:37,840 --> 01:05:40,760
Speaker 3: the maps that were drawn by white men in the

1481
01:05:40,920 --> 01:05:44,360
Speaker 3: room together. I get rid of all the maps I'm redoing.

1482
01:05:44,600 --> 01:05:45,680
Speaker 1: So what would your world look like?

1483
01:05:45,920 --> 01:05:49,320
Speaker 3: Oh gosh, well, yeah, I just circle them by by

1484
01:05:50,000 --> 01:05:51,600
Speaker 3: language or something like that, you know what I mean,

1485
01:05:51,720 --> 01:05:56,600
Speaker 3: Like interest types. Everybody who loves the color ran over there.

1486
01:05:58,120 --> 01:05:59,640
Speaker 3: If you love greens, over there.

1487
01:06:00,480 --> 01:06:01,439
Speaker 2: No redraw the maps.

1488
01:06:01,840 --> 01:06:04,760
Speaker 1: That's pretty good. It's a good rule of business. What

1489
01:06:04,840 --> 01:06:06,280
Speaker 1: should people care less about?

1490
01:06:06,920 --> 01:06:09,400
Speaker 3: Hmmm, well, I mean this is gonna sound so silly,

1491
01:06:09,440 --> 01:06:11,840
Speaker 3: but they should care less about other people's opinions.

1492
01:06:12,120 --> 01:06:14,040
Speaker 2: Like that that affect their life. You know.

1493
01:06:14,200 --> 01:06:17,160
Speaker 3: Don't make the decision based on what your mom thinks

1494
01:06:17,800 --> 01:06:22,600
Speaker 3: or your best friend even Yeah, yeah, they have no

1495
01:06:22,720 --> 01:06:25,640
Speaker 3: idea what's right for you. They're talking usually out of

1496
01:06:25,640 --> 01:06:28,160
Speaker 3: their fear for your life in real life.

1497
01:06:28,480 --> 01:06:30,680
Speaker 1: Last piece of great advice someone has given you.

1498
01:06:32,160 --> 01:06:36,520
Speaker 2: The last piece of great advice. Oh that's hard because

1499
01:06:36,560 --> 01:06:38,120
Speaker 2: I really don't take people's advice.

1500
01:06:40,720 --> 01:06:44,480
Speaker 1: So okay, that's good. That's your answer. That's your answer. Yeah,

1501
01:06:44,560 --> 01:06:47,640
Speaker 1: all right? And life and real love in real life?

1502
01:06:48,600 --> 01:06:53,600
Speaker 1: What what is something you absolutely need and require in

1503
01:06:53,640 --> 01:06:55,080
Speaker 1: a partner? Oh? Love?

1504
01:06:55,160 --> 01:06:58,720
Speaker 3: I need affection, like physical touch, you know, I need

1505
01:06:58,960 --> 01:07:01,560
Speaker 3: to squeeze me, slap my butt as I walk by,

1506
01:07:01,720 --> 01:07:02,280
Speaker 3: that kind of thing.

1507
01:07:02,720 --> 01:07:06,680
Speaker 1: If you had a rule book about love, what would

1508
01:07:06,720 --> 01:07:08,040
Speaker 1: be like in bold?

1509
01:07:08,320 --> 01:07:09,280
Speaker 2: Like, what is your rule?

1510
01:07:09,440 --> 01:07:10,240
Speaker 1: One of your rules?

1511
01:07:10,400 --> 01:07:17,640
Speaker 2: Talk to me nice? Now I'm saying, like, right words

1512
01:07:17,720 --> 01:07:18,200
Speaker 2: lead to action.

1513
01:07:18,800 --> 01:07:21,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, it talks to me nice. Okay. Loving friendships, what's

1514
01:07:21,840 --> 01:07:23,640
Speaker 1: the best because you have so many best friends?

1515
01:07:23,720 --> 01:07:26,080
Speaker 2: God, don't don't get me in trouble now. No, you

1516
01:07:26,120 --> 01:07:26,760
Speaker 2: don't have to mess me.

1517
01:07:26,840 --> 01:07:28,640
Speaker 1: You don't have to name your favorite. You don't have

1518
01:07:28,720 --> 01:07:32,040
Speaker 1: to name your favorite. But what is what is a

1519
01:07:32,160 --> 01:07:35,200
Speaker 1: quality that is necessary to have a good friend to

1520
01:07:35,240 --> 01:07:35,919
Speaker 1: be a good friend?

1521
01:07:36,000 --> 01:07:36,480
Speaker 2: I think.

1522
01:07:38,160 --> 01:07:41,720
Speaker 3: Presence, like you know, being present and doesn't need to

1523
01:07:41,760 --> 01:07:44,600
Speaker 3: be like in person, but like the check in the

1524
01:07:45,200 --> 01:07:47,440
Speaker 3: you know, it's like, if you see something about me online,

1525
01:07:47,840 --> 01:07:50,080
Speaker 3: you need to call me and be like gro you

1526
01:07:50,120 --> 01:07:51,720
Speaker 3: want me to go beat them up. Yes, bitch, go

1527
01:07:51,760 --> 01:07:52,120
Speaker 3: over there.

1528
01:07:52,800 --> 01:07:54,000
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, be.

1529
01:07:54,120 --> 01:07:55,200
Speaker 2: Present in my life.

1530
01:07:57,160 --> 01:07:59,120
Speaker 1: In real life. How important is money to you?

1531
01:07:59,680 --> 01:08:03,880
Speaker 2: Very yeah? I mean people say it's like, you know,

1532
01:08:04,120 --> 01:08:10,439
Speaker 2: money can't buy you happiness. Really, I beg to diver

1533
01:08:12,160 --> 01:08:14,000
Speaker 2: give me the money, baby, Yeah, no, what are you

1534
01:08:14,080 --> 01:08:14,560
Speaker 2: talking about?

1535
01:08:16,400 --> 01:08:20,120
Speaker 1: That's so funny? But you were always kind of happy? No, like, yeah,

1536
01:08:20,320 --> 01:08:21,479
Speaker 1: but money's made me happy.

1537
01:08:21,560 --> 01:08:21,720
Speaker 2: Yuh.

1538
01:08:22,240 --> 01:08:22,479
Speaker 1: Okay.

1539
01:08:22,520 --> 01:08:24,120
Speaker 2: Can I get to go wherever I want, do what

1540
01:08:24,240 --> 01:08:24,559
Speaker 2: I want?

1541
01:08:24,720 --> 01:08:24,920
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1542
01:08:25,160 --> 01:08:28,080
Speaker 2: Money's good, you're into it? Yeah, very much? Give me more.

1543
01:08:28,200 --> 01:08:29,479
Speaker 2: Matter of fact, what is a.

1544
01:08:29,600 --> 01:08:31,200
Speaker 1: Habit that you are proud of?

1545
01:08:32,040 --> 01:08:35,040
Speaker 2: My discipline? What is the habit that you're trying to break?

1546
01:08:35,280 --> 01:08:37,360
Speaker 2: Oooh some of my spontaneity?

1547
01:08:37,920 --> 01:08:38,200
Speaker 1: Really?

1548
01:08:38,400 --> 01:08:38,639
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1549
01:08:38,760 --> 01:08:38,960
Speaker 1: Why?

1550
01:08:39,240 --> 01:08:40,519
Speaker 2: Yeah? Well because you know what?

1551
01:08:40,720 --> 01:08:42,479
Speaker 3: Okay, so this is a longer story, but I'll cut

1552
01:08:42,520 --> 01:08:46,120
Speaker 3: it short, which is that my dad is notoriously spontaneous,

1553
01:08:46,160 --> 01:08:48,240
Speaker 3: and it's spontaneous in a big way, like meaning like

1554
01:08:48,680 --> 01:08:51,439
Speaker 3: he would, you know, see another job he wanted and

1555
01:08:51,520 --> 01:08:54,040
Speaker 3: then move us across the continents, you know that kind

1556
01:08:54,080 --> 01:08:56,759
Speaker 3: of thing, and or like you know, go buy something

1557
01:08:56,840 --> 01:08:59,720
Speaker 3: that was expensive that we couldn't afford, you know, the

1558
01:09:00,200 --> 01:09:02,479
Speaker 3: make my mom very upset then put all of the

1559
01:09:02,560 --> 01:09:06,240
Speaker 3: rest of us in like challenges. I hated that behavior,

1560
01:09:06,520 --> 01:09:08,800
Speaker 3: but sometimes I find that in myself that like if

1561
01:09:08,840 --> 01:09:11,439
Speaker 3: I really fixate on something and then I'm like, oh,

1562
01:09:11,800 --> 01:09:14,040
Speaker 3: by any means, I'm gonna go do that thing. Sometimes

1563
01:09:14,080 --> 01:09:15,400
Speaker 3: it's worked out, sometimes it has it.

1564
01:09:15,880 --> 01:09:18,840
Speaker 1: It's probably pushed you though it has it.

1565
01:09:18,880 --> 01:09:21,640
Speaker 3: Has so that's why you know. I'm like sometimes I'm like,

1566
01:09:21,640 --> 01:09:24,400
Speaker 3: all right, let me just make sure it's countered with good.

1567
01:09:24,240 --> 01:09:26,600
Speaker 1: Sense and what is left to like what is the

1568
01:09:27,000 --> 01:09:28,560
Speaker 1: I don't know what is left for you to what

1569
01:09:28,800 --> 01:09:29,800
Speaker 1: mountain are you trying to?

1570
01:09:30,160 --> 01:09:32,560
Speaker 3: Oh? Now see now that that's the key, you know.

1571
01:09:32,600 --> 01:09:34,840
Speaker 3: I don't make I don't make plans. I don't make

1572
01:09:34,960 --> 01:09:37,280
Speaker 3: like one of your plans, five year plans. I don't

1573
01:09:37,320 --> 01:09:38,920
Speaker 3: make any of those. No, no, no, because I just

1574
01:09:39,000 --> 01:09:43,280
Speaker 3: feel like the world is my oyster and like big

1575
01:09:43,400 --> 01:09:45,600
Speaker 3: things are coming. I just feel so limited. If I

1576
01:09:45,760 --> 01:09:46,920
Speaker 3: was like, oh, you know what this is I want

1577
01:09:46,960 --> 01:09:48,960
Speaker 3: to do in the next ten years, why like a

1578
01:09:49,120 --> 01:09:51,200
Speaker 3: no big plan, zero plans. No, I don't have a

1579
01:09:51,240 --> 01:09:54,280
Speaker 3: plan for this year, or like people make resolutions and

1580
01:09:54,439 --> 01:09:55,640
Speaker 3: the things they want to do and the thing I

1581
01:09:55,640 --> 01:09:58,640
Speaker 3: don't really have that because I just feel like fascinating

1582
01:09:58,800 --> 01:10:01,560
Speaker 3: the world is. Opportunities are out there and they're just

1583
01:10:01,640 --> 01:10:03,600
Speaker 3: gonna be mine. So come on, bring it.

1584
01:10:04,520 --> 01:10:06,439
Speaker 1: Oh, this is my favorite question. Look at it's poking

1585
01:10:06,520 --> 01:10:08,640
Speaker 1: right up it. Ok before you leave, this is my

1586
01:10:08,760 --> 01:10:11,040
Speaker 1: favorite question. It is my favorite question.

1587
01:10:11,160 --> 01:10:12,519
Speaker 2: Okay, let go with this.

1588
01:10:12,800 --> 01:10:14,800
Speaker 1: Okay, but before we go out with this, was there

1589
01:10:14,880 --> 01:10:18,479
Speaker 1: anything on your heart today or anything that you just was.

1590
01:10:18,479 --> 01:10:21,360
Speaker 2: So happy to be here with you. I'm so glad

1591
01:10:21,400 --> 01:10:22,800
Speaker 2: to come I could we could do.

1592
01:10:22,840 --> 01:10:24,800
Speaker 1: It, like if we did a podcast together. I feel

1593
01:10:24,800 --> 01:10:27,160
Speaker 1: like we would have something to talk about everything every day.

1594
01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:30,680
Speaker 1: Every day we would have something to talk about. It

1595
01:10:30,880 --> 01:10:35,240
Speaker 1: will be three of us. Oh my God of us. Anyway,

1596
01:10:35,240 --> 01:10:36,400
Speaker 1: I would love you to come back.

1597
01:10:36,520 --> 01:10:38,240
Speaker 2: I would love to. I would love we have a

1598
01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:39,920
Speaker 2: lot to talk about. Okay, here's your question.

1599
01:10:40,320 --> 01:10:40,560
Speaker 4: You want me.

1600
01:10:41,400 --> 01:10:42,840
Speaker 2: I read it? You read it? Okay.

1601
01:10:42,920 --> 01:10:43,400
Speaker 1: Last question?

1602
01:10:43,479 --> 01:10:47,640
Speaker 2: Oh, if God were to text you right now, what

1603
01:10:47,760 --> 01:10:48,639
Speaker 2: would God say?

1604
01:10:51,240 --> 01:10:51,400
Speaker 3: Oh?

1605
01:10:51,640 --> 01:10:54,200
Speaker 1: What God said? Take your time with it, both, take

1606
01:10:54,200 --> 01:10:54,559
Speaker 1: your time.

1607
01:10:54,720 --> 01:11:00,760
Speaker 2: God were to text me right now, hmmm, let it come.

1608
01:11:01,200 --> 01:11:04,639
Speaker 2: I think God would say it's gonna be all right. Mhm,

1609
01:11:05,600 --> 01:11:06,400
Speaker 2: It's gonna be all right.

1610
01:11:06,560 --> 01:11:13,519
Speaker 3: Yeah, simple, yeah, looking that have faith type, you know,

1611
01:11:13,680 --> 01:11:16,280
Speaker 3: because I'm often talking about things that I know if

1612
01:11:16,280 --> 01:11:18,760
Speaker 3: I just have faith, it'd be all right. And so

1613
01:11:19,120 --> 01:11:21,960
Speaker 3: I think God would be like, it'll be all right.

1614
01:11:22,560 --> 01:11:27,479
Speaker 3: It is chill out, chill out boss. Okay, he would

1615
01:11:27,520 --> 01:11:29,720
Speaker 3: throw a chill out at you. Yeah. Absolutely, God gonna

1616
01:11:29,760 --> 01:11:32,519
Speaker 3: tell me the chill out like relax, bos relax.

1617
01:11:32,800 --> 01:11:34,720
Speaker 2: So it's gonna be all right. And that's what God

1618
01:11:34,760 --> 01:11:37,439
Speaker 2: would text me. I'm gonna remember that. That's a good one.

1619
01:11:37,640 --> 01:11:38,439
Speaker 2: I love that for you.

1620
01:11:38,960 --> 01:11:44,679
Speaker 1: Amazing. Thank you, Yes your boats in real life.

1621
01:11:48,760 --> 01:11:50,760
Speaker 2: Hi missus Bose in real life.

1622
01:11:51,120 --> 01:11:54,600
Speaker 1: Hey guys, thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like comments,

1623
01:11:54,840 --> 01:11:56,800
Speaker 1: and check out all of the other episodes we have

1624
01:11:56,960 --> 01:12:02,400
Speaker 1: on Edge. Martinez I R O Podcast BO