WEBVTT - Ep. 194 — Balancing Boss Life With Wifey Expectations 0:00:16.800 --> 0:00:21.200 Hey, Hey, Hey, I tried to do a little cabaret. 0:00:21.320 --> 0:00:23.440 You know, I don't know. Hey, it's tippity. 0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:27.200 Hello, guys, did you miss us? We were only gone 0:00:27.200 --> 0:00:28.560 for one week, I. 0:00:28.760 --> 0:00:33.159 Know, but honestly someone wrote something about they missed me singing. 0:00:33.320 --> 0:00:35.320 I don't know. I was like, oh, you're probably the 0:00:35.320 --> 0:00:40.880 only one, but don't be hater se hat im singing. 0:00:43.800 --> 0:00:45.360 Me and Manny were starting to try to start the show. 0:00:45.400 --> 0:00:48.000 For like thirty minutes, we were like lamenting over men 0:00:48.159 --> 0:00:50.920 and food and how they want you to make every 0:00:50.920 --> 0:00:53.360 sandwich because you have a special sandwich hand apparently. 0:00:54.160 --> 0:00:55.880 I mean, it's kind of the tactic that I used 0:00:55.880 --> 0:00:58.880 so that my husband does the dishes. He'll like unload 0:00:58.920 --> 0:01:01.560 and load the dishwasher because he thinks I'm really bad 0:01:01.600 --> 0:01:03.880 at it, and I just you know, let him I purpose. 0:01:04.120 --> 0:01:05.959 I might do a bad job on purpose, just so 0:01:06.000 --> 0:01:09.200 he gets outraged enough to do it himself. No, but 0:01:09.280 --> 0:01:12.920 this whole thing where like I cook really good food. 0:01:12.959 --> 0:01:14.360 I mean I like to think so, but I like 0:01:14.440 --> 0:01:18.199 to cook meals like you know, meatballs or spaghetti, or 0:01:18.480 --> 0:01:20.800 make chicken and vegetables and have it for the week. 0:01:20.959 --> 0:01:23.440 But he's just not from that leftover life, Like I 0:01:23.480 --> 0:01:25.520 am raised by a single mom with four kids, Like 0:01:25.920 --> 0:01:27.640 we would my mom would make one thing and we 0:01:27.640 --> 0:01:29.600 would just eat it until we were until we were 0:01:29.640 --> 0:01:31.240 just so sick of it and it was all gone. 0:01:31.600 --> 0:01:34.480 But you know, he's from a different household. He had, 0:01:34.600 --> 0:01:37.920 you know, a mom and an abuela making fresh meals 0:01:37.959 --> 0:01:42.040 for him every day. Doesn't really go for leftovers anyway. Like, 0:01:42.120 --> 0:01:44.360 so I decided to forget, I'm not going to cook 0:01:44.400 --> 0:01:46.080 these big meals because I just end up eating them 0:01:46.160 --> 0:01:48.320 myself for weeks at a time. And so I brought 0:01:48.320 --> 0:01:51.720 home some like bread ham and some damn cheese, and 0:01:51.800 --> 0:01:53.600 I put together a sandwich for him, and it was 0:01:53.680 --> 0:01:56.840 like I was just God's gift. I was just like 0:01:56.840 --> 0:02:01.360 this got and I'm like this this is all atkes, Yes, 0:02:01.480 --> 0:02:04.080 why have I tried so hard? And then also if 0:02:04.080 --> 0:02:05.480 this is all it takes, why don't you make a 0:02:05.560 --> 0:02:08.400 damn ham sandwich exactly? So you have. 0:02:08.320 --> 0:02:11.720 A special hand, I'm telling you, like Supeman does not 0:02:11.720 --> 0:02:13.360 not that he doesn't cook, but he cooks like that 0:02:13.400 --> 0:02:15.040 man stuff like he calls it. He has this thing 0:02:15.080 --> 0:02:19.320 called turkey Ronnie, don't I mean? And I was like, 0:02:19.480 --> 0:02:25.320 what it's literally like it's pasta, so it's almost like 0:02:25.400 --> 0:02:30.880 spaghetti but ground turkey. And then yeah, and then like 0:02:30.919 --> 0:02:32.880 I guess sometimes some veggies in it. I don't know 0:02:33.320 --> 0:02:36.880 he's coming, but the the it's like elbow macaroni. I 0:02:36.919 --> 0:02:38.520 don't know. It's so it's a hot mess. 0:02:38.560 --> 0:02:39.679 And so he hab. 0:02:41.000 --> 0:02:43.720 Yeah to that extent, but like I guess he put 0:02:43.760 --> 0:02:45.679 it together himself, and you can't tell him. When I 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:47.960 first met him, he would make a vat of turkey 0:02:48.000 --> 0:02:50.799 Ronnie and I'm like, what so much so that the 0:02:50.800 --> 0:02:55.960 neighborhood kids knew mister John made turkey brownie and kids, 0:02:57.400 --> 0:03:00.120 it's such like a like a kid meal. And I'm like, 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:02.080 I mean it's it doesn't taste bad, but it's not 0:03:02.120 --> 0:03:02.560 the kind of. 0:03:02.480 --> 0:03:04.160 Thing like you want to eat every day. 0:03:04.720 --> 0:03:07.320 But yeah, No, I felt really good because I was like, 0:03:07.320 --> 0:03:09.679 I've made dinner tonight. I've not made dinner, and honestly 0:03:10.000 --> 0:03:12.280 probably two and a half weeks, we like not that 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:14.760 we haven't eating dinner, I just have that made dinner. 0:03:15.200 --> 0:03:17.359 So he was happy that. I was like, He's like, oh, 0:03:17.400 --> 0:03:19.720 you are on your dean today. I'm like, meanwhile, you 0:03:19.720 --> 0:03:21.480 didn't even hear about my day and all the things 0:03:21.480 --> 0:03:24.040 that I did for business. But because I've got baked 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:26.400 chicken in the oven and some yellow rice from a 0:03:26.400 --> 0:03:28.400 box on the on the stove, I'm on my dean. 0:03:30.040 --> 0:03:33.040 So whatever does he usually do the cooking or what's 0:03:33.160 --> 0:03:37.080 y'all's what's y'all dynamic? Because we cook, we eat separate 0:03:37.120 --> 0:03:39.520 meals most of the time because I will make a 0:03:39.600 --> 0:03:42.200 nice meal for myself. I'm trying to create a human 0:03:42.240 --> 0:03:44.800 person who's got brain cells. So I'm trying to eat 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:46.960 all my veggies, and he's like having corn dog street 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:47.560 nights in a row. 0:03:48.960 --> 0:03:51.880 No we don't, so he's not. I mean he'll cook sometimes, 0:03:52.000 --> 0:03:55.720 but honestly we will like eat out or order a lot, 0:03:55.720 --> 0:03:58.160 which I never was that person, but because I just 0:03:58.280 --> 0:04:00.920 sometimes some days, I just have so much to do 0:04:01.520 --> 0:04:02.200 and I'm like. 0:04:02.560 --> 0:04:04.920 Of course, who has time to cook all day. 0:04:04.520 --> 0:04:06.840 Exactly, So I'm trying to get better because it's not 0:04:07.360 --> 0:04:11.360 obviously that's not ideal. So but like sometimes I'll start, 0:04:11.440 --> 0:04:13.760 he'll finish, so like he's like I, even though I'm 0:04:13.760 --> 0:04:15.760 not like the greatest cook, I do season really well. 0:04:15.800 --> 0:04:18.640 So sometimes I'll season whatever thing we're having, and then 0:04:18.640 --> 0:04:20.520 when he comes home he'll put it in the oven 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:23.880 or whatever. So yeah, I'm trying to get better, but 0:04:24.440 --> 0:04:27.960 I'm also somebody who hates food chopping, so I'm always scrounging, like, 0:04:28.080 --> 0:04:29.600 m what does it make? 0:04:30.360 --> 0:04:32.200 I get a little salty about this whole thing because 0:04:32.200 --> 0:04:34.600 we've been arguing more about this whole You know, there's 0:04:34.640 --> 0:04:36.680 days when I get home super late, and I come 0:04:36.720 --> 0:04:38.599 home and there's been no thought about what I'm going 0:04:38.680 --> 0:04:41.919 to have for dinner. I'm literally like creating your future child, 0:04:42.600 --> 0:04:44.400 and you don't care what I have for dinner. Oh babe, 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:46.240 I just had some warmed up pizza or I stopped 0:04:46.240 --> 0:04:48.360 at you know, Chipotle on the way home. I'm like, 0:04:48.400 --> 0:04:50.680 so what about me? Yes, drive it? And I'm like, 0:04:51.320 --> 0:04:54.200 for me, I care about what he eats. Like I'm 0:04:54.240 --> 0:04:56.440 kind of turning into my dad where my dad always 0:04:56.480 --> 0:04:58.400 asks what you what'd you eat good today? And we'll 0:04:58.400 --> 0:05:01.400 tell him we have some differ lun and I always 0:05:01.680 --> 0:05:03.400 I always check in on Enrique. I'm like, what'd you 0:05:03.400 --> 0:05:05.120 have for lunch? Okay, well what do you want for 0:05:05.200 --> 0:05:08.520 you know? I care about what he eats, and I 0:05:08.960 --> 0:05:11.719 feel like I'm turning kind of into like a naggy mom. 0:05:11.760 --> 0:05:13.800 Because I'm like, where do you do you eat a 0:05:13.880 --> 0:05:16.039 vegetable in your day to day? Like I never see 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:17.960 you eat fruit? Do you like apples? I don't think 0:05:18.000 --> 0:05:20.600 I've seen you eat an apple in seven or eight years. 0:05:21.000 --> 0:05:23.320 But it doesn't He's not doing that for me, And 0:05:23.400 --> 0:05:26.599 I'm like, I want someone to care about me, you 0:05:26.640 --> 0:05:28.839 know what I eat. But then I talked to my 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:31.560 therapist about it and she was all, well, you knew 0:05:31.600 --> 0:05:35.400 who he was when you married him. And she's like, well, 0:05:35.440 --> 0:05:36.880 if the best you can do is go to the 0:05:36.920 --> 0:05:40.000 because he will go to the store. He will, you know, 0:05:40.360 --> 0:05:43.360 if I badger him enough. But he'll bring back like 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:45.760 frozen things. He doesn't really know how to put a 0:05:45.800 --> 0:05:48.400 meal together, you know, and it'll be a lot of 0:05:48.400 --> 0:05:52.360 frozen pizzas and oh my god, he discovered many corn 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:54.279 dogs and it's been many corn dogs for a while, 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:58.080 or like whatever egg rolls. But he'll bring stuff back. 0:05:58.160 --> 0:06:00.440 And she was like, if that's all he does when 0:06:00.440 --> 0:06:02.200 you have the baby, Hebrew goes to the store and 0:06:02.240 --> 0:06:04.080 brings home frozen meals that you guys can heat up. 0:06:04.400 --> 0:06:07.200 You have to give him credit. And I'm like, mm hmm, 0:06:07.520 --> 0:06:11.279 that sounds very fair, but also not there. Why doesn't 0:06:11.279 --> 0:06:13.160 he need to learn how to cook? I don't know. 0:06:13.160 --> 0:06:15.440 I'm struggling with it. I feel like maybe our listeners 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:19.279 will have similar experiences, because it just feels like this 0:06:19.360 --> 0:06:22.280 old school gender dynamic that it's driving me a little crazy. 0:06:22.920 --> 0:06:24.760 Yes, and so I will say, Supermann. It is pretty 0:06:24.800 --> 0:06:27.159 good at not holding me to that to except for 0:06:27.240 --> 0:06:29.320 when I guess it's gotten to the extreme where he's like, like, 0:06:29.400 --> 0:06:31.159 we have not had a meal in three weeks, and 0:06:31.160 --> 0:06:33.760 I'm like, well, Brah, before I got here, who's making food? Oh? 0:06:33.800 --> 0:06:34.120 You were. 0:06:34.320 --> 0:06:36.520 Let's see how we could go back to that. Although 0:06:36.920 --> 0:06:39.120 his food, like I said, is so bachelor that I'm like, 0:06:39.160 --> 0:06:39.760 I don't want it. 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:42.680 That's the way. If I let him cook, it's going 0:06:42.720 --> 0:06:45.360 to be frozen corn dogs. It has been. I can't 0:06:45.360 --> 0:06:48.640 be eating that way. Like, you know, he's not going 0:06:48.720 --> 0:06:50.760 to make me a kale salad or butternut squash soup. 0:06:50.800 --> 0:06:51.720 That's what I like to eat. 0:06:51.920 --> 0:06:54.440 Oh yeah, that's what happened. Girl. You gotta let that go, 0:06:54.520 --> 0:06:56.440 that problem. Oh no, I don't want to. 0:06:56.440 --> 0:06:58.520 Let it go. I want it. I want it. 0:07:00.000 --> 0:07:03.120 Speaking of which, how was that baby shower? It looks amazing. 0:07:03.160 --> 0:07:07.720 Baby shower was epic. It was ridiculous. Baby shower was ridiculous. 0:07:07.760 --> 0:07:10.520 So if anyone who's listening from the front who has 0:07:10.680 --> 0:07:12.320 a background, I don't know if it's like a it's 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:15.720 particularly Dominican thing, but the baby showers I've been to 0:07:15.760 --> 0:07:18.360 from Marique side the family are always like at night, 0:07:18.640 --> 0:07:21.400 it's a big party. It's like basically kind of a 0:07:21.440 --> 0:07:24.880 wedding reception vibe. There's dancing, there's open Barther's food. And 0:07:24.920 --> 0:07:26.640 so when I was sitting down to plant, not when 0:07:26.640 --> 0:07:27.960 I was sitting down to plant, but when my mom 0:07:28.040 --> 0:07:31.040 started asking about the baby shower, I immediately knew what 0:07:31.080 --> 0:07:32.880 I didn't want, which is like a really boring I've 0:07:32.880 --> 0:07:35.960 been to way too many boring baby showers that are 0:07:36.000 --> 0:07:38.320 like on a Sunday afternoon from one to four and 0:07:38.360 --> 0:07:41.320 you have to sit there and watch, you know, watch 0:07:41.360 --> 0:07:45.880 someone open onesie after onesie after onesie for two hours straight. 0:07:46.280 --> 0:07:48.880 Maybe you play a game, like maybe you have mimosas, 0:07:48.920 --> 0:07:53.320 and it's just not that entertaining, and I just I 0:07:53.680 --> 0:07:56.080 didn't want to spend money on that kind of experience 0:07:56.160 --> 0:07:58.840 for my friends. And so I was like, let me 0:07:59.840 --> 0:08:02.160 take like, let me really embrace the Dominican side of 0:08:02.160 --> 0:08:05.640 my family, and so I had my my mom and 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:08.200 my sister, who were like two Midwestern white ladies at 0:08:08.200 --> 0:08:11.560 this point, like they really spearheaded it. But our Dominican 0:08:12.280 --> 0:08:18.080 my my husband's brother's fiance, Jamilla, who's this angel from heaven. 0:08:18.160 --> 0:08:20.240 She's so helpful and so nice, and I was like, 0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:23.560 you need to be our Dominican ambassador and be sure 0:08:23.560 --> 0:08:27.640 that they shepherd them through as they planned this shower, 0:08:27.720 --> 0:08:30.040 and they did such an amazing job. It was in 0:08:30.080 --> 0:08:33.640 my husband's neighborhood, like blocks from his where his family 0:08:33.679 --> 0:08:38.320 all lives on Dykeman in Inwood, and this nice restaurant 0:08:38.320 --> 0:08:41.440 and they had his brother got us a DJ. There 0:08:41.559 --> 0:08:44.960 was amazing music. The food was like all this Dominican food. 0:08:45.040 --> 0:08:48.720 There's open bar. I didn't open a single present. The 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:50.640 aunties didn't like that part, but I didn't open a 0:08:50.679 --> 0:08:56.319 single present. It was beautiful and the best part was 0:08:56.360 --> 0:08:58.200 at the end. So I haven't told you guys, but 0:08:59.640 --> 0:09:01.480 like a or two ago, I was at my doctor 0:09:02.120 --> 0:09:03.800 and we didn't want to know the gender, Like I 0:09:03.840 --> 0:09:05.920 really didn't care boy or girl, and I really loved 0:09:05.920 --> 0:09:08.360 the idea of being surprised, you know, at the birth, 0:09:08.960 --> 0:09:11.680 like having Enrique, you know, run out to the waiting 0:09:11.720 --> 0:09:13.599 room and be like it's a you know, boy or 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:16.320 girl or whatever. But then my doctor blew it the 0:09:16.400 --> 0:09:19.240 other day, like about a month ago, just zoomed right 0:09:19.280 --> 0:09:21.760 in on the ultrasound. I don't have no idea why. 0:09:21.800 --> 0:09:23.720 I don't know how she forgot. I've been seeing her 0:09:23.760 --> 0:09:26.400 for nearly a year, and she was like, there's his 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:31.520 little manhood. And I was like looking at my son's 0:09:31.520 --> 0:09:33.199 penis right there on the screen. 0:09:33.960 --> 0:09:35.319 So like what I did? 0:09:35.360 --> 0:09:37.959 You were like, wait what? It was so many emotions. 0:09:38.040 --> 0:09:40.439 I was like, I was honestly, honestly devastated. It was 0:09:40.480 --> 0:09:42.640 the hormones, but I was so sad. But anyway, the 0:09:42.960 --> 0:09:44.839 bright side was that we decided we were going to 0:09:44.920 --> 0:09:48.480 do a gender reveal for our moms at the end 0:09:48.480 --> 0:09:50.120 of the shower. So at the end of the shower, 0:09:50.440 --> 0:09:52.160 everyone had a great time when we brought out these 0:09:52.160 --> 0:09:55.240 confetti poppers and we announced I told the story, and 0:09:55.280 --> 0:09:57.680 then we asked our the two moms, our moms to 0:09:57.720 --> 0:10:00.800 come over, and they were just like shake. They were 0:10:00.800 --> 0:10:05.480 like crying already, and these and these are two women 0:10:05.480 --> 0:10:07.760 who have been telling me it's a girl. For months, 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:09.960 like each of them has their own superstitions, and like 0:10:10.000 --> 0:10:11.600 they were convinced it was a girl. So I knew 0:10:11.600 --> 0:10:14.040 it was going to be good. And we got this. 0:10:14.360 --> 0:10:16.120 We had this really special moment where we do the 0:10:16.600 --> 0:10:20.760 the gender reveal and it was it was just perfect, perfect, perfect, 0:10:20.800 --> 0:10:21.680 And were. 0:10:21.520 --> 0:10:23.360 They excited when they found it was a boy? 0:10:24.880 --> 0:10:27.120 Well, his mom came up. Enrique's mom came over and 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:29.400 was like, it's okay, it's a boy, Like she was 0:10:29.440 --> 0:10:36.199 almost and I think she really wanted a girl. All yeah, honestly, 0:10:36.240 --> 0:10:38.480 everyone was. I didn't expect the entire party. They just 0:10:38.559 --> 0:10:41.080 like everyone came in. It was like one massive group 0:10:41.200 --> 0:10:43.679 hug and it was you know, if I'm going to 0:10:43.760 --> 0:10:45.480 do it, Honestly, if I was going to do a 0:10:45.480 --> 0:10:49.840 baby shower, this is exactly the way, like over the top, ridiculous, 0:10:50.880 --> 0:10:54.360 and I loved it. It was beautiful. And while I 0:10:54.520 --> 0:10:59.560 was having that epic moment, you miss queen, were just 0:10:59.640 --> 0:11:01.880 hosted the party of your life. 0:11:01.760 --> 0:11:06.959 Yeah, it was so awesome. Yes, at at the at 0:11:07.000 --> 0:11:11.080 the Smith Mansion. No it's not a mansion, but my yeah, 0:11:11.080 --> 0:11:13.720 I had my fortieth. Honestly, it's exactly what I wanted. 0:11:13.800 --> 0:11:17.760 I wanted the people that I loved and cared about there. 0:11:18.040 --> 0:11:20.120 If you know me, I'm not really one for the fuss. 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:25.400 And but it was nice because Bonda, who did our 0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:28.200 reception where we had at her restaurant, she's a friend 0:11:28.200 --> 0:11:30.240 of mine who shut down her restaurant for our reception. 0:11:30.720 --> 0:11:34.480 She she catered and when I tell you the food 0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:37.240 was she put, I mean she outdid herself. The lobster 0:11:37.320 --> 0:11:41.520 macaroni and cheese was out of this world and it 0:11:41.600 --> 0:11:44.439 happened to be perfect weather. So she ordered because Vonda 0:11:44.559 --> 0:11:46.559 doesn't just like cook food when she caters, she does 0:11:46.600 --> 0:11:49.440 like the whole thing, presentation, decorations, all that kind of stuff. 0:11:49.800 --> 0:11:52.040 So she ordered what they call hot high hats or 0:11:52.120 --> 0:11:54.640 high table something like that where it's like the tall 0:11:54.720 --> 0:11:57.360 kind of like tables with like seats around it. So 0:11:57.400 --> 0:11:58.640 I was like, are we gonna need it? You know, 0:11:58.679 --> 0:12:01.240 because our backyard is fully paid, like whoever lived there 0:12:01.240 --> 0:12:04.079 before put full papers back there, and so we had 0:12:04.080 --> 0:12:08.240 four of them. And then Superman's sister like gave us 0:12:08.240 --> 0:12:10.679 like this, like it's not a money pit. It's almost 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:13.840 like a fire. It's not a pit because it's not low, 0:12:13.960 --> 0:12:16.160 but it's like not a money pit. I'm not to 0:12:16.160 --> 0:12:20.440 say a fire pit. He gave us like this fire 0:12:20.520 --> 0:12:23.679 pit thing, so what but it was like so it 0:12:23.760 --> 0:12:26.400 was just so the weather was perfect outside, she had 0:12:26.440 --> 0:12:29.000 food outside. We had a DJ in the basement so 0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:31.600 you could hear the music upstairs. Like everyone was there, 0:12:31.640 --> 0:12:35.480 my aunt's, my uncle's Jorelle side of the family. Like 0:12:35.559 --> 0:12:39.040 some Unicorn Squad members team members came. It just was 0:12:39.200 --> 0:12:42.760 really really it was like, Tiffany, it's your life, like 0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:44.439 you know, people from when I was like from high 0:12:44.480 --> 0:12:47.280 school came, folks from college. So it just was a 0:12:47.320 --> 0:12:49.840 really good time and I had a really good time. 0:12:50.640 --> 0:12:53.280 And honestly, I spent like the whole time giving tours 0:12:54.040 --> 0:12:55.400 of the house that everyone wanted. It was like a 0:12:55.440 --> 0:12:58.679 housewarming slash fortieth birthday party. And yeah, it was an 0:12:58.720 --> 0:13:02.319 awesome time. And I just have to say, honestly, Jermaine 0:13:02.440 --> 0:13:06.160 and Rihanna Lewis from Remain Home. Their instagram is r 0:13:06.480 --> 0:13:10.240 E h m A I N Home Remain Home. They 0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:16.599 are absolutely amazing. They but what look So Jermaine is 0:13:16.600 --> 0:13:21.680 a is a project manager, and so my contractor was okay, 0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:26.120 and but Jermaine really made sure he kept on track 0:13:26.160 --> 0:13:28.240 because I mean it's like a fellow. We built the 0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:31.360 house from the ground up, darn near and then Rihanna 0:13:31.880 --> 0:13:33.960 with the design, she went to direct so she's got 0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:36.959 her master's in design, and she didn't just help design 0:13:37.200 --> 0:13:39.680 like rooms or where things should be, but she went 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:43.439 as far like planters and this is a really nice 0:13:43.640 --> 0:13:46.880 like bookshelf that should be here. And then because they 0:13:46.880 --> 0:13:49.240 live around the corner from us, came and like hung 0:13:49.280 --> 0:13:52.360 things up the night before we transformed like the whole 0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:54.199 house with hanging up anything that was left over. We 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:55.920 stayed up till two or three o'clock in the morning 0:13:56.120 --> 0:13:58.040 the night before getting the house ready for the party, 0:13:58.040 --> 0:14:00.559 and so did they, and they came over the next 0:14:00.640 --> 0:14:02.800 morning the morning of the party to help. Again, they 0:14:02.800 --> 0:14:06.120 are above and beyonders. They have become such great friends 0:14:06.120 --> 0:14:10.240 of ours. Yeah, they are amazing. I always tell people 0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:12.840 and they're like, would you hire your contractor Again, I'm like, maybe, 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:17.160 but not with our remain home. So yeah, they're they 0:14:17.200 --> 0:14:19.320 are absolutely amazing for like a design. 0:14:20.200 --> 0:14:21.960 Yeah, it just got to use like a lot of 0:14:22.000 --> 0:14:24.040 it for the party too, which was you know. I 0:14:24.040 --> 0:14:25.640 mean that's the reason you buy a house, right is 0:14:25.640 --> 0:14:27.400 too interest in it so. 0:14:28.000 --> 0:14:29.520 Yeah, and I wanted, like, you know, I missed it 0:14:29.520 --> 0:14:31.360 because when I was in my when I lived in 0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:33.880 my condo, my kinda was like a gathering spot for 0:14:34.000 --> 0:14:35.840 when I was single, me and my girlfriends, we'd have 0:14:35.880 --> 0:14:38.400 girls night in and and my sisters would come over 0:14:38.480 --> 0:14:40.760 all the time. So I missed Our apartment was so 0:14:40.800 --> 0:14:43.119 small before where we were living in the Halfway Hood. 0:14:43.720 --> 0:14:46.920 And so now we've got this beautiful house where I 0:14:47.000 --> 0:14:50.680 just want people to come over, like Superman's siblings come over, 0:14:50.720 --> 0:14:52.520 My siblings come over, my niece and my nephew come 0:14:52.560 --> 0:14:55.240 over all the time. And I love it that we 0:14:55.280 --> 0:14:57.400 can have a house full of like family, friends and love. 0:14:57.440 --> 0:15:01.440 And so yeah, it was awesome. And I forgot to 0:15:01.520 --> 0:15:04.000 tell you, but you know, I want to go see 0:15:04.000 --> 0:15:07.240 the Harriet movie. So my friend Cynthia Rivo is in it. 0:15:07.320 --> 0:15:11.000 She is Harriet, and I'm not gonna I was nervous 0:15:11.560 --> 0:15:13.680 because I was like, either way, i'm gonna be like 0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:15.560 it was great. So I was practicing my it was 0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:19.560 great face, you know, Yeah, but honestly it was great. 0:15:20.360 --> 0:15:21.640 It was really good. 0:15:22.480 --> 0:15:25.280 Yes, we didn't we didn't get her the twenty dollars bill. 0:15:25.320 --> 0:15:26.720 Con you please not mess up her movie. 0:15:27.280 --> 0:15:30.440 I know, but we know what I It was really good. 0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:34.760 It was touching, It was sad, but bigger than everything else. 0:15:34.800 --> 0:15:39.360 It was so inspiring and inspirational. I didn't leave feeling 0:15:39.480 --> 0:15:42.640 like like twelve Years of Slave was amazing, but it 0:15:42.840 --> 0:15:44.120 also was devastating. 0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:46.560 Oh my god, I left the week to. 0:15:46.520 --> 0:15:49.160 Recover what like, I'm still not recovering. 0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:51.440 I ruined. It ruined movies for a lot of people, 0:15:52.040 --> 0:15:54.800 like movies about slavery. Like people were like, that's the 0:15:54.840 --> 0:15:56.440 last one I'm never gonna see. 0:15:55.840 --> 0:15:59.560 I was broken, like bro I was hysterical in the 0:15:59.560 --> 0:16:02.760 movie theater, but this I did not lead that way. 0:16:02.800 --> 0:16:05.600 I left feeling like I left the Beyoncee concert. I 0:16:05.680 --> 0:16:07.000 was like, who won the world? 0:16:07.280 --> 0:16:07.720 Girls? 0:16:07.920 --> 0:16:11.160 Like? I felt so empowered? Honestly, Mandy, I was like, 0:16:11.320 --> 0:16:13.160 what else can I do for my people? What can 0:16:13.200 --> 0:16:15.200 I do for women? How can I be better? 0:16:15.720 --> 0:16:16.520 Like it was? 0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:20.240 And I love that feeling because it didn't sugarcoat slavery 0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:23.480 and all the horrific things that happened. But what it 0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:26.520 did was through Harriet and her story. What made you 0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:30.040 realize is that despite that, there is courage, there is strength, 0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:34.320 there is grace, There is it just she's Harry, I'm 0:16:34.560 --> 0:16:37.800 truly a superhero. Yeah. I mean, you know, I can't 0:16:37.800 --> 0:16:40.840 speak for everybody else, but I really enjoyed it. And 0:16:41.120 --> 0:16:43.320 from the vibe that I felt when the lights came on, 0:16:43.960 --> 0:16:47.280 everyone really enjoyed it. It didn't leave you feeling sad 0:16:47.320 --> 0:16:49.120 and left you feeling like what can I do? 0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:54.160 So yeah, all I wanted to hear because I was 0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:56.600 trying to convince two of my friends who listen to 0:16:56.640 --> 0:16:59.440 the show actually to go, and they're both just like, 0:16:59.440 --> 0:17:01.640 now we're not what we're done with slave movies. And 0:17:01.680 --> 0:17:03.600 I could tell from the previous it's much more than 0:17:03.640 --> 0:17:06.200 a slave movie. Like, first of all, in slave movies, 0:17:06.240 --> 0:17:08.720 typically they tend to run an African American character. Yes, 0:17:08.800 --> 0:17:12.120 Lupita was was one of the central figures in Twelve 0:17:12.160 --> 0:17:15.400 Years of Slave, but it really was about Chiwadell Edgiafor's character, right, 0:17:16.400 --> 0:17:18.440 and and it just feels like and often you see 0:17:18.520 --> 0:17:20.840 I don't know it just it's you don't see. And 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:24.640 even Black Panther again, so many fabulous women, strong characters, 0:17:24.840 --> 0:17:27.040 but that was like a nice surprise the real character 0:17:27.280 --> 0:17:31.200 was Black Panther. Uh. Anyway, So to have a movie 0:17:31.359 --> 0:17:35.480 focus on the female like a female slave who came 0:17:35.520 --> 0:17:39.480 out of that situation and went back, like to the 0:17:39.560 --> 0:17:41.760 courage to go back and bring people with you. I 0:17:41.840 --> 0:17:45.760 keep thinking about she posted the Cynthia posted on Instagram 0:17:45.840 --> 0:17:47.879 that song that she wrote. Does she co write over 0:17:47.960 --> 0:17:48.399 or something? 0:17:48.560 --> 0:17:51.399 Yes, and tell you at the end it's still I 0:17:51.480 --> 0:17:53.679 was like, this is my song, I said, I told myself. 0:17:53.680 --> 0:17:56.199 I'm like, oh my god, it made I remember I 0:17:56.280 --> 0:17:58.879 used to like kind of like finally say like whatever 0:17:58.880 --> 0:18:01.120 I used to do, like an online ask that like 0:18:01.560 --> 0:18:04.399 the reason why I teach so much is when it 0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:06.320 comes to financial education, and the reason why I do 0:18:06.400 --> 0:18:09.840 so much for free is that I remember distinctly like 0:18:10.240 --> 0:18:12.919 praying quite honestly that God, if you'll teach me, I 0:18:12.960 --> 0:18:16.760 promise I'll help others. And like I used to say, 0:18:16.840 --> 0:18:19.320 like I want to be the Harriet Tubman of a 0:18:19.359 --> 0:18:22.400 financial education. But I mean, I say a tongue in cheek, 0:18:22.440 --> 0:18:25.439 but honestly, no, I do that. I feel like that 0:18:25.680 --> 0:18:28.320 as I get free, I can't be free if I'm 0:18:28.320 --> 0:18:30.879 not if I'm not going back for other people. And 0:18:30.920 --> 0:18:33.760 so that's how the Budgetista was built from that sentiment 0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:38.440 of going back and helping others. Someone helped me and honestly, yeah, 0:18:38.720 --> 0:18:41.600 go see Harry. Honestly, I'm so inspired. I'm actually trying 0:18:41.600 --> 0:18:43.399 to figure out what the city I want to I 0:18:43.440 --> 0:18:46.720 want the budgetista to to buy out a theater. It's 0:18:46.760 --> 0:18:49.120 like maybe like fifteen hundred dollars ish, So I want 0:18:49.119 --> 0:18:51.160 to buy out a theater to maybe have like high 0:18:51.160 --> 0:18:53.440 school seniors or I'm trying to figure out what group 0:18:53.760 --> 0:18:57.399 should should because Newark has like a theater that Shock owns, 0:18:57.600 --> 0:18:59.520 so I'm trying to think like what group to invite 0:18:59.600 --> 0:19:01.880 to see how tickets it includes, because I know there's 0:19:01.880 --> 0:19:05.560 about eight hundred high school seniors in the city of Newark, 0:19:05.800 --> 0:19:08.000 so I don't know how big the theater, but that's 0:19:08.040 --> 0:19:09.320 what I want to do. I want to buy out 0:19:09.359 --> 0:19:12.399 a theater and then and then buye, like you know, 0:19:12.760 --> 0:19:16.320 a specific group of probably students to go watch the 0:19:16.359 --> 0:19:20.160