Speaker 1: Hey, Hey, Hey, I tried to do a little cabaret.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know. Hey, it's tippity.
Speaker 2: Hello, guys, did you miss us? We were only gone
Speaker 2: for one week, I.
Speaker 1: Know, but honestly someone wrote something about they missed me singing.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I was like, oh, you're probably the
Speaker 1: only one, but don't be hater se hat im singing.
Speaker 1: Me and Manny were starting to try to start the show.
Speaker 1: For like thirty minutes, we were like lamenting over men
Speaker 1: and food and how they want you to make every
Speaker 1: sandwich because you have a special sandwich hand apparently.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's kind of the tactic that I used
Speaker 2: so that my husband does the dishes. He'll like unload
Speaker 2: and load the dishwasher because he thinks I'm really bad
Speaker 2: at it, and I just you know, let him I purpose.
Speaker 2: I might do a bad job on purpose, just so
Speaker 2: he gets outraged enough to do it himself. No, but
Speaker 2: this whole thing where like I cook really good food.
Speaker 2: I mean I like to think so, but I like
Speaker 2: to cook meals like you know, meatballs or spaghetti, or
Speaker 2: make chicken and vegetables and have it for the week.
Speaker 2: But he's just not from that leftover life, Like I
Speaker 2: am raised by a single mom with four kids, Like
Speaker 2: we would my mom would make one thing and we
Speaker 2: would just eat it until we were until we were
Speaker 2: just so sick of it and it was all gone.
Speaker 2: But you know, he's from a different household. He had,
Speaker 2: you know, a mom and an abuela making fresh meals
Speaker 2: for him every day. Doesn't really go for leftovers anyway. Like,
Speaker 2: so I decided to forget, I'm not going to cook
Speaker 2: these big meals because I just end up eating them
Speaker 2: myself for weeks at a time. And so I brought
Speaker 2: home some like bread ham and some damn cheese, and
Speaker 2: I put together a sandwich for him, and it was
Speaker 2: like I was just God's gift. I was just like
Speaker 2: this got and I'm like this this is all atkes, Yes,
Speaker 2: why have I tried so hard? And then also if
Speaker 2: this is all it takes, why don't you make a
Speaker 2: damn ham sandwich exactly? So you have.
Speaker 1: A special hand, I'm telling you, like Supeman does not
Speaker 1: not that he doesn't cook, but he cooks like that
Speaker 1: man stuff like he calls it. He has this thing
Speaker 1: called turkey Ronnie, don't I mean? And I was like,
Speaker 1: what it's literally like it's pasta, so it's almost like
Speaker 1: spaghetti but ground turkey. And then yeah, and then like
Speaker 1: I guess sometimes some veggies in it. I don't know
Speaker 1: he's coming, but the the it's like elbow macaroni. I
Speaker 1: don't know. It's so it's a hot mess.
Speaker 2: And so he hab.
Speaker 1: Yeah to that extent, but like I guess he put
Speaker 1: it together himself, and you can't tell him. When I
Speaker 1: first met him, he would make a vat of turkey
Speaker 1: Ronnie and I'm like, what so much so that the
Speaker 1: neighborhood kids knew mister John made turkey brownie and kids,
Speaker 1: it's such like a like a kid meal. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I mean it's it doesn't taste bad, but it's not
Speaker 1: the kind of.
Speaker 2: Thing like you want to eat every day.
Speaker 1: But yeah, No, I felt really good because I was like,
Speaker 1: I've made dinner tonight. I've not made dinner, and honestly
Speaker 1: probably two and a half weeks, we like not that
Speaker 1: we haven't eating dinner, I just have that made dinner.
Speaker 1: So he was happy that. I was like, He's like, oh,
Speaker 1: you are on your dean today. I'm like, meanwhile, you
Speaker 1: didn't even hear about my day and all the things
Speaker 1: that I did for business. But because I've got baked
Speaker 1: chicken in the oven and some yellow rice from a
Speaker 1: box on the on the stove, I'm on my dean.
Speaker 2: So whatever does he usually do the cooking or what's
Speaker 2: y'all's what's y'all dynamic? Because we cook, we eat separate
Speaker 2: meals most of the time because I will make a
Speaker 2: nice meal for myself. I'm trying to create a human
Speaker 2: person who's got brain cells. So I'm trying to eat
Speaker 2: all my veggies, and he's like having corn dog street
Speaker 2: nights in a row.
Speaker 1: No we don't, so he's not. I mean he'll cook sometimes,
Speaker 1: but honestly we will like eat out or order a lot,
Speaker 1: which I never was that person, but because I just
Speaker 1: sometimes some days, I just have so much to do
Speaker 1: and I'm like.
Speaker 2: Of course, who has time to cook all day.
Speaker 1: Exactly, So I'm trying to get better because it's not
Speaker 1: obviously that's not ideal. So but like sometimes I'll start,
Speaker 1: he'll finish, so like he's like I, even though I'm
Speaker 1: not like the greatest cook, I do season really well.
Speaker 1: So sometimes I'll season whatever thing we're having, and then
Speaker 1: when he comes home he'll put it in the oven
Speaker 1: or whatever. So yeah, I'm trying to get better, but
Speaker 1: I'm also somebody who hates food chopping, so I'm always scrounging, like,
Speaker 1: m what does it make?
Speaker 2: I get a little salty about this whole thing because
Speaker 2: we've been arguing more about this whole You know, there's
Speaker 2: days when I get home super late, and I come
Speaker 2: home and there's been no thought about what I'm going
Speaker 2: to have for dinner. I'm literally like creating your future child,
Speaker 2: and you don't care what I have for dinner. Oh babe,
Speaker 2: I just had some warmed up pizza or I stopped
Speaker 2: at you know, Chipotle on the way home. I'm like,
Speaker 2: so what about me? Yes, drive it? And I'm like,
Speaker 2: for me, I care about what he eats. Like I'm
Speaker 2: kind of turning into my dad where my dad always
Speaker 2: asks what you what'd you eat good today? And we'll
Speaker 2: tell him we have some differ lun and I always
Speaker 2: I always check in on Enrique. I'm like, what'd you
Speaker 2: have for lunch? Okay, well what do you want for
Speaker 2: you know? I care about what he eats, and I
Speaker 2: feel like I'm turning kind of into like a naggy mom.
Speaker 2: Because I'm like, where do you do you eat a
Speaker 2: vegetable in your day to day? Like I never see
Speaker 2: you eat fruit? Do you like apples? I don't think
Speaker 2: I've seen you eat an apple in seven or eight years.
Speaker 2: But it doesn't He's not doing that for me, And
Speaker 2: I'm like, I want someone to care about me, you
Speaker 2: know what I eat. But then I talked to my
Speaker 2: therapist about it and she was all, well, you knew
Speaker 2: who he was when you married him. And she's like, well,
Speaker 2: if the best you can do is go to the
Speaker 2: because he will go to the store. He will, you know,
Speaker 2: if I badger him enough. But he'll bring back like
Speaker 2: frozen things. He doesn't really know how to put a
Speaker 2: meal together, you know, and it'll be a lot of
Speaker 2: frozen pizzas and oh my god, he discovered many corn
Speaker 2: dogs and it's been many corn dogs for a while,
Speaker 2: or like whatever egg rolls. But he'll bring stuff back.
Speaker 2: And she was like, if that's all he does when
Speaker 2: you have the baby, Hebrew goes to the store and
Speaker 2: brings home frozen meals that you guys can heat up.
Speaker 2: You have to give him credit. And I'm like, mm hmm,
Speaker 2: that sounds very fair, but also not there. Why doesn't
Speaker 2: he need to learn how to cook? I don't know.
Speaker 2: I'm struggling with it. I feel like maybe our listeners
Speaker 2: will have similar experiences, because it just feels like this
Speaker 2: old school gender dynamic that it's driving me a little crazy.
Speaker 1: Yes, and so I will say, Supermann. It is pretty
Speaker 1: good at not holding me to that to except for
Speaker 1: when I guess it's gotten to the extreme where he's like, like,
Speaker 1: we have not had a meal in three weeks, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, Brah, before I got here, who's making food? Oh?
Speaker 2: You were.
Speaker 1: Let's see how we could go back to that. Although
Speaker 1: his food, like I said, is so bachelor that I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't want it.
Speaker 2: That's the way. If I let him cook, it's going
Speaker 2: to be frozen corn dogs. It has been. I can't
Speaker 2: be eating that way. Like, you know, he's not going
Speaker 2: to make me a kale salad or butternut squash soup.
Speaker 2: That's what I like to eat.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's what happened. Girl. You gotta let that go,
Speaker 1: that problem. Oh no, I don't want to.
Speaker 2: Let it go. I want it. I want it.
Speaker 1: Speaking of which, how was that baby shower? It looks amazing.
Speaker 2: Baby shower was epic. It was ridiculous. Baby shower was ridiculous.
Speaker 2: So if anyone who's listening from the front who has
Speaker 2: a background, I don't know if it's like a it's
Speaker 2: particularly Dominican thing, but the baby showers I've been to
Speaker 2: from Marique side the family are always like at night,
Speaker 2: it's a big party. It's like basically kind of a
Speaker 2: wedding reception vibe. There's dancing, there's open Barther's food. And
Speaker 2: so when I was sitting down to plant, not when
Speaker 2: I was sitting down to plant, but when my mom
Speaker 2: started asking about the baby shower, I immediately knew what
Speaker 2: I didn't want, which is like a really boring I've
Speaker 2: been to way too many boring baby showers that are
Speaker 2: like on a Sunday afternoon from one to four and
Speaker 2: you have to sit there and watch, you know, watch
Speaker 2: someone open onesie after onesie after onesie for two hours straight.
Speaker 2: Maybe you play a game, like maybe you have mimosas,
Speaker 2: and it's just not that entertaining, and I just I
Speaker 2: didn't want to spend money on that kind of experience
Speaker 2: for my friends. And so I was like, let me
Speaker 2: take like, let me really embrace the Dominican side of
Speaker 2: my family, and so I had my my mom and
Speaker 2: my sister, who were like two Midwestern white ladies at
Speaker 2: this point, like they really spearheaded it. But our Dominican
Speaker 2: my my husband's brother's fiance, Jamilla, who's this angel from heaven.
Speaker 2: She's so helpful and so nice, and I was like,
Speaker 2: you need to be our Dominican ambassador and be sure
Speaker 2: that they shepherd them through as they planned this shower,
Speaker 2: and they did such an amazing job. It was in
Speaker 2: my husband's neighborhood, like blocks from his where his family
Speaker 2: all lives on Dykeman in Inwood, and this nice restaurant
Speaker 2: and they had his brother got us a DJ. There
Speaker 2: was amazing music. The food was like all this Dominican food.
Speaker 2: There's open bar. I didn't open a single present. The
Speaker 2: aunties didn't like that part, but I didn't open a
Speaker 2: single present. It was beautiful and the best part was
Speaker 2: at the end. So I haven't told you guys, but
Speaker 2: like a or two ago, I was at my doctor
Speaker 2: and we didn't want to know the gender, Like I
Speaker 2: really didn't care boy or girl, and I really loved
Speaker 2: the idea of being surprised, you know, at the birth,
Speaker 2: like having Enrique, you know, run out to the waiting
Speaker 2: room and be like it's a you know, boy or
Speaker 2: girl or whatever. But then my doctor blew it the
Speaker 2: other day, like about a month ago, just zoomed right
Speaker 2: in on the ultrasound. I don't have no idea why.
Speaker 2: I don't know how she forgot. I've been seeing her
Speaker 2: for nearly a year, and she was like, there's his
Speaker 2: little manhood. And I was like looking at my son's
Speaker 2: penis right there on the screen.
Speaker 1: So like what I did?
Speaker 2: You were like, wait what? It was so many emotions.
Speaker 2: I was like, I was honestly, honestly devastated. It was
Speaker 2: the hormones, but I was so sad. But anyway, the
Speaker 2: bright side was that we decided we were going to
Speaker 2: do a gender reveal for our moms at the end
Speaker 2: of the shower. So at the end of the shower,
Speaker 2: everyone had a great time when we brought out these
Speaker 2: confetti poppers and we announced I told the story, and
Speaker 2: then we asked our the two moms, our moms to
Speaker 2: come over, and they were just like shake. They were
Speaker 2: like crying already, and these and these are two women
Speaker 2: who have been telling me it's a girl. For months,
Speaker 2: like each of them has their own superstitions, and like
Speaker 2: they were convinced it was a girl. So I knew
Speaker 2: it was going to be good. And we got this.
Speaker 2: We had this really special moment where we do the
Speaker 2: the gender reveal and it was it was just perfect, perfect, perfect,
Speaker 2: And were.
Speaker 1: They excited when they found it was a boy?
Speaker 2: Well, his mom came up. Enrique's mom came over and
Speaker 2: was like, it's okay, it's a boy, Like she was
Speaker 2: almost and I think she really wanted a girl. All yeah, honestly,
Speaker 2: everyone was. I didn't expect the entire party. They just
Speaker 2: like everyone came in. It was like one massive group
Speaker 2: hug and it was you know, if I'm going to
Speaker 2: do it, Honestly, if I was going to do a
Speaker 2: baby shower, this is exactly the way, like over the top, ridiculous,
Speaker 2: and I loved it. It was beautiful. And while I
Speaker 2: was having that epic moment, you miss queen, were just
Speaker 2: hosted the party of your life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was so awesome. Yes, at at the at
Speaker 1: the Smith Mansion. No it's not a mansion, but my yeah,
Speaker 1: I had my fortieth. Honestly, it's exactly what I wanted.
Speaker 1: I wanted the people that I loved and cared about there.
Speaker 1: If you know me, I'm not really one for the fuss.
Speaker 1: And but it was nice because Bonda, who did our
Speaker 1: reception where we had at her restaurant, she's a friend
Speaker 1: of mine who shut down her restaurant for our reception.
Speaker 1: She she catered and when I tell you the food
Speaker 1: was she put, I mean she outdid herself. The lobster
Speaker 1: macaroni and cheese was out of this world and it
Speaker 1: happened to be perfect weather. So she ordered because Vonda
Speaker 1: doesn't just like cook food when she caters, she does
Speaker 1: like the whole thing, presentation, decorations, all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: So she ordered what they call hot high hats or
Speaker 1: high table something like that where it's like the tall
Speaker 1: kind of like tables with like seats around it. So
Speaker 1: I was like, are we gonna need it? You know,
Speaker 1: because our backyard is fully paid, like whoever lived there
Speaker 1: before put full papers back there, and so we had
Speaker 1: four of them. And then Superman's sister like gave us
Speaker 1: like this, like it's not a money pit. It's almost
Speaker 1: like a fire. It's not a pit because it's not low,
Speaker 1: but it's like not a money pit. I'm not to
Speaker 1: say a fire pit. He gave us like this fire
Speaker 1: pit thing, so what but it was like so it
Speaker 1: was just so the weather was perfect outside, she had
Speaker 1: food outside. We had a DJ in the basement so
Speaker 1: you could hear the music upstairs. Like everyone was there,
Speaker 1: my aunt's, my uncle's Jorelle side of the family. Like
Speaker 1: some Unicorn Squad members team members came. It just was
Speaker 1: really really it was like, Tiffany, it's your life, like
Speaker 1: you know, people from when I was like from high
Speaker 1: school came, folks from college. So it just was a
Speaker 1: really good time and I had a really good time.
Speaker 1: And honestly, I spent like the whole time giving tours
Speaker 1: of the house that everyone wanted. It was like a
Speaker 1: housewarming slash fortieth birthday party. And yeah, it was an
Speaker 1: awesome time. And I just have to say, honestly, Jermaine
Speaker 1: and Rihanna Lewis from Remain Home. Their instagram is r
Speaker 1: E h m A I N Home Remain Home. They
Speaker 1: are absolutely amazing. They but what look So Jermaine is
Speaker 1: a is a project manager, and so my contractor was okay,
Speaker 1: and but Jermaine really made sure he kept on track
Speaker 1: because I mean it's like a fellow. We built the
Speaker 1: house from the ground up, darn near and then Rihanna
Speaker 1: with the design, she went to direct so she's got
Speaker 1: her master's in design, and she didn't just help design
Speaker 1: like rooms or where things should be, but she went
Speaker 1: as far like planters and this is a really nice
Speaker 1: like bookshelf that should be here. And then because they
Speaker 1: live around the corner from us, came and like hung
Speaker 1: things up the night before we transformed like the whole
Speaker 1: house with hanging up anything that was left over. We
Speaker 1: stayed up till two or three o'clock in the morning
Speaker 1: the night before getting the house ready for the party,
Speaker 1: and so did they, and they came over the next
Speaker 1: morning the morning of the party to help. Again, they
Speaker 1: are above and beyonders. They have become such great friends
Speaker 1: of ours. Yeah, they are amazing. I always tell people
Speaker 1: and they're like, would you hire your contractor Again, I'm like, maybe,
Speaker 1: but not with our remain home. So yeah, they're they
Speaker 1: are absolutely amazing for like a design.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it just got to use like a lot of
Speaker 2: it for the party too, which was you know. I
Speaker 2: mean that's the reason you buy a house, right is
Speaker 2: too interest in it so.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I wanted, like, you know, I missed it
Speaker 1: because when I was in my when I lived in
Speaker 1: my condo, my kinda was like a gathering spot for
Speaker 1: when I was single, me and my girlfriends, we'd have
Speaker 1: girls night in and and my sisters would come over
Speaker 1: all the time. So I missed Our apartment was so
Speaker 1: small before where we were living in the Halfway Hood.
Speaker 1: And so now we've got this beautiful house where I
Speaker 1: just want people to come over, like Superman's siblings come over,
Speaker 1: My siblings come over, my niece and my nephew come
Speaker 1: over all the time. And I love it that we
Speaker 1: can have a house full of like family, friends and love.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, it was awesome. And I forgot to
Speaker 1: tell you, but you know, I want to go see
Speaker 1: the Harriet movie. So my friend Cynthia Rivo is in it.
Speaker 1: She is Harriet, and I'm not gonna I was nervous
Speaker 1: because I was like, either way, i'm gonna be like
Speaker 1: it was great. So I was practicing my it was
Speaker 1: great face, you know, Yeah, but honestly it was great.
Speaker 1: It was really good.
Speaker 2: Yes, we didn't we didn't get her the twenty dollars bill.
Speaker 2: Con you please not mess up her movie.
Speaker 1: I know, but we know what I It was really good.
Speaker 1: It was touching, It was sad, but bigger than everything else.
Speaker 1: It was so inspiring and inspirational. I didn't leave feeling
Speaker 1: like like twelve Years of Slave was amazing, but it
Speaker 1: also was devastating.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I left the week to.
Speaker 1: Recover what like, I'm still not recovering.
Speaker 2: I ruined. It ruined movies for a lot of people,
Speaker 2: like movies about slavery. Like people were like, that's the
Speaker 2: last one I'm never gonna see.
Speaker 1: I was broken, like bro I was hysterical in the
Speaker 1: movie theater, but this I did not lead that way.
Speaker 1: I left feeling like I left the Beyoncee concert. I
Speaker 1: was like, who won the world?
Speaker 2: Girls?
Speaker 1: Like? I felt so empowered? Honestly, Mandy, I was like,
Speaker 1: what else can I do for my people? What can
Speaker 1: I do for women? How can I be better?
Speaker 2: Like it was?
Speaker 1: And I love that feeling because it didn't sugarcoat slavery
Speaker 1: and all the horrific things that happened. But what it
Speaker 1: did was through Harriet and her story. What made you
Speaker 1: realize is that despite that, there is courage, there is strength,
Speaker 1: there is grace, There is it just she's Harry, I'm
Speaker 1: truly a superhero. Yeah. I mean, you know, I can't
Speaker 1: speak for everybody else, but I really enjoyed it. And
Speaker 1: from the vibe that I felt when the lights came on,
Speaker 1: everyone really enjoyed it. It didn't leave you feeling sad
Speaker 1: and left you feeling like what can I do?
Speaker 2: So yeah, all I wanted to hear because I was
Speaker 2: trying to convince two of my friends who listen to
Speaker 2: the show actually to go, and they're both just like,
Speaker 2: now we're not what we're done with slave movies. And
Speaker 2: I could tell from the previous it's much more than
Speaker 2: a slave movie. Like, first of all, in slave movies,
Speaker 2: typically they tend to run an African American character. Yes,
Speaker 2: Lupita was was one of the central figures in Twelve
Speaker 2: Years of Slave, but it really was about Chiwadell Edgiafor's character, right,
Speaker 2: and and it just feels like and often you see
Speaker 2: I don't know it just it's you don't see. And
Speaker 2: even Black Panther again, so many fabulous women, strong characters,
Speaker 2: but that was like a nice surprise the real character
Speaker 2: was Black Panther. Uh. Anyway, So to have a movie
Speaker 2: focus on the female like a female slave who came
Speaker 2: out of that situation and went back, like to the
Speaker 2: courage to go back and bring people with you. I
Speaker 2: keep thinking about she posted the Cynthia posted on Instagram
Speaker 2: that song that she wrote. Does she co write over
Speaker 2: or something?
Speaker 1: Yes, and tell you at the end it's still I
Speaker 1: was like, this is my song, I said, I told myself.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, it made I remember I
Speaker 1: used to like kind of like finally say like whatever
Speaker 1: I used to do, like an online ask that like
Speaker 1: the reason why I teach so much is when it
Speaker 1: comes to financial education, and the reason why I do
Speaker 1: so much for free is that I remember distinctly like
Speaker 1: praying quite honestly that God, if you'll teach me, I
Speaker 1: promise I'll help others. And like I used to say,
Speaker 1: like I want to be the Harriet Tubman of a
Speaker 1: financial education. But I mean, I say a tongue in cheek,
Speaker 1: but honestly, no, I do that. I feel like that
Speaker 1: as I get free, I can't be free if I'm
Speaker 1: not if I'm not going back for other people. And
Speaker 1: so that's how the Budgetista was built from that sentiment
Speaker 1: of going back and helping others. Someone helped me and honestly, yeah,
Speaker 1: go see Harry. Honestly, I'm so inspired. I'm actually trying
Speaker 1: to figure out what the city I want to I
Speaker 1: want the budgetista to to buy out a theater. It's
Speaker 1: like maybe like fifteen hundred dollars ish, So I want
Speaker 1: to buy out a theater to maybe have like high
Speaker 1: school seniors or I'm trying to figure out what group
Speaker 1: should should because Newark has like a theater that Shock owns,
Speaker 1: so I'm trying to think like what group to invite
Speaker 1: to see how tickets it includes, because I know there's
Speaker 1: about eight hundred high school seniors in the city of Newark,
Speaker 1: so I don't know how big the theater, but that's
Speaker 1: what I want to do. I want to buy out
Speaker 1: a theater and then and then buye, like you know,
Speaker 1: a specific group of probably students to go watch the
Speaker 1: Harriet movie. Yeah, that's how inspired I was. I was like, no,
Speaker 1: it needs to be seen that you are capable of
Speaker 1: so much more than you even you know, you even know,
Speaker 1: and that that if you're waiting to not be afraid
Speaker 1: to make a move, like you're gonna have to move fearful, fearfully, like,
Speaker 1: that's what you really learned that like those people who
Speaker 1: make history happen, it's not because they were fearless. It's
Speaker 1: because they move despite the fear. And so yeah, go
Speaker 1: see that movie Shackle.
Speaker 2: November first, right, yep, that Friday. Okay, done, Dragon Husbey, Dragonhusbe. Oh,
Speaker 2: that's great. Congrats to Cynthia. Love her. She crushed me
Speaker 2: in color purple.
Speaker 1: Okay, and she sings in a movie too, so her voice,
Speaker 1: of course is like an angel.
Speaker 2: She does. She's so annoying and good. I'm really sorry
Speaker 2: for you being her friend least from I could be
Speaker 2: a fan. I don't have to, like, you know whatever,
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 1: Right, I'm like just anywhere perfect India. Of course, she's
Speaker 1: like a perfect shape.
Speaker 2: And she's like she has a beautiful accent. Shall we
Speaker 2: get to some questions? Yeah, okay, awesome questions today again.
Speaker 2: You guys can hit us up on the gram. We're
Speaker 2: at Brandabission Podcast on Instagram, or you can send us
Speaker 2: an email directly brand Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: Our website is also out there. You can go to
Speaker 2: brandimission podcast dot com and click ask us anything to
Speaker 2: shoot us your questions. Let's take you guys with your
Speaker 2: car problems. We have to take this question because I
Speaker 2: feel like we get a lot of questions from people
Speaker 2: who are in car debt autodet, and we all know
Speaker 2: how I feel about it. I just think Autodet's crushing people.
Speaker 2: But we're not here to judge. We are here to help.
Speaker 2: So let's take a question from Instagram user. We'll call
Speaker 2: her Portia. All right, she says, Hey, ladies, I've gotten
Speaker 2: myself into a pickle. I have a new car that
Speaker 2: I knew when I bought it that I didn't really
Speaker 2: want to take on this financial burden. I did it anyway.
Speaker 2: I was so scared of getting a used Lemon car
Speaker 2: that I went ahead and got a more expensive used one.
Speaker 2: Come to December. This December, my credit will be one
Speaker 2: hundred points higher than when I bought the car, so
Speaker 2: I plan to refinance it. But that's if I decided
Speaker 2: to keep it. I've been contemplating lately doing a voluntary repossession.
Speaker 2: I remember Tiffany said that Superman did a voluntary repo.
Speaker 2: So I want to know does voluntary repot negatively infact
Speaker 2: impact your credit, and if so, for how long. So
Speaker 2: she's got this car that she can't afford. She could
Speaker 2: potentially refinance her auto loan because her credit has improved
Speaker 2: since she got it, but she's like, the car payments
Speaker 2: are so high that she's considering just giving it up altogether. Tiff.
Speaker 1: So, yeah, so I will say that. I mean, well,
Speaker 1: here's one thing for sure, when you your credit score
Speaker 1: will likely take a hit if you do a voluntary repossession.
Speaker 1: But bigger than that, if you're doing a voluntary repossession,
Speaker 1: you you're going like you're still going to owe. So that
Speaker 1: was a hard part for man is that he had
Speaker 1: to give the car back but there was still a balance.
Speaker 1: So you're paying this balance, but you have no car,
Speaker 1: So you have to kind of mentally prepare for that fact.
Speaker 1: Because so he let's just say the car was fifty
Speaker 1: thousand dollars and he he, you know, sent it back
Speaker 1: and they were like, we're gonna give you. He ended
Speaker 1: up having a five thousand dollars ballance forty five thousand
Speaker 1: dollars for it. There was that five thousand dollars balance
Speaker 1: that he had to pay because so what he ended
Speaker 1: up doing was he took a loan from his credit
Speaker 1: union so that way he wouldn't owe he wouldn't like
Speaker 1: the interest rate on what he owed wouldn't be as high,
Speaker 1: so he took a loan from his credit union. They
Speaker 1: paid you know, the car dealership. That's what he sent
Speaker 1: it back to. But he's still owed. Like like I
Speaker 1: said that that five thousand dollars balance that he had
Speaker 1: to just pay until he paid it off. He's glad
Speaker 1: he did it. I mean, he was bitter in the
Speaker 1: beginning because you know whatever, but you know, I told him,
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, it's either I don't know if
Speaker 1: you guys remember, but his his car note was like
Speaker 1: nine hundred dollars a month, a full mortgage that did
Speaker 1: not include insurance, and then his insurance was like you know,
Speaker 1: another I don't even know. But he was paid like
Speaker 1: literally a mortgage a month. He had one of those
Speaker 1: Yukon's analogy, you know, like those big cars. You know, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah so.
Speaker 2: But but it's also the reason he ended up owing
Speaker 2: is because when you when you voluntary give up your car,
Speaker 2: the dealership or the lender, whoever owns it is gonna
Speaker 2: try and sell it. And if they can't sell it,
Speaker 2: if they can't sell it, ad enough value to cover
Speaker 2: your out standing loan, then you'll basically owe the balance.
Speaker 1: Right, Yes, But but here's the thing, like, well, I'm
Speaker 1: assuming you're she's not late, So let me not say
Speaker 1: for sure that the voluntary repossession is gonna it's gonna
Speaker 1: affect your credit because a lot of times people do
Speaker 1: voluntary repossessions because they've missed. And I didn't hear her
Speaker 1: say that she hasn't missed any any payments.
Speaker 2: Correct, it doesn't sound like it. But the repo itself,
Speaker 2: that will go on your credit report like it's one
Speaker 2: of it's like your miss payments would, but also just
Speaker 2: like the fact that you've repote it. But honestly, if
Speaker 2: it's a trade off, like if you feel like you're
Speaker 2: getting close to the point where you're gonna start missing payments,
Speaker 2: that would end up your credit too.
Speaker 3: So it's almost like you know, it's it's it's a give,
Speaker 3: it's a lesser of two evils things. Yeah, and you
Speaker 3: ultimately should do what's best for your finances moving forward,
Speaker 3: and if that means getting up the car, take that.
Speaker 1: And sometimes I say sometimes sometimes it's like you have
Speaker 1: to take the little L so you don't have to
Speaker 1: take the big L later because there are moments as
Speaker 1: an adult where either way you're taking it l you know,
Speaker 1: like L as in loss with some of y'allre like
Speaker 1: what you know, So either way you're going to take
Speaker 1: a loss. So do you have to sometimes ask yourself, like, well,
Speaker 1: which loss is less of a loss? And you know
Speaker 1: it might be you know, giving your car back, paying
Speaker 1: off whatever that balance is that that wasn't able to
Speaker 1: be recouped from the sale of your car, and then rebuilding.
Speaker 1: You're like, you know, credit honestly is not the hardest
Speaker 1: thing to rebuild. It's just making all time payments. If
Speaker 1: you can pay off a credit card in full every
Speaker 1: month by swiping Netflix on it or something, that's going
Speaker 1: to help tremendously, and then you'll be back versus dragging out,
Speaker 1: like having a car that you really can't afford to
Speaker 1: the point where you actually can't afford it, and then
Speaker 1: you're late and now it's not a voluntary repossession, it's
Speaker 1: just a repossession because you haven't made payments.
Speaker 2: Yep. She mentions refinancing her auto loan, and that could
Speaker 2: be a solution, especially if the payments are so high
Speaker 2: that she's struggling with them, and maybe I don't know
Speaker 2: exactly what her APR is, but it sounds like her
Speaker 2: credit was pretty poor. Maybe she thinks she's going to
Speaker 2: get a better interest rate, says her credit score is
Speaker 2: going to be one hundred points higher soon. But my
Speaker 2: thoughts on refinancing is often when people refinance her auto loans,
Speaker 2: they're tempted to draw out the repayment period because if
Speaker 2: you extend your loan over a longer period of time,
Speaker 2: your monthly payments will go down. But you have to
Speaker 2: think about how much interest rate you're adding to the
Speaker 2: cost of that loan over time. And it's it may
Speaker 2: temporarily improve your cash flow, and that could be fine,
Speaker 2: you know, but you have to then think you're not
Speaker 2: really are you really saving money each month? No, yeah,
Speaker 2: because it's very likely that you're just adding to your
Speaker 2: cost by spreading it out over many months. So as
Speaker 2: best you can just try to get try to get
Speaker 2: the you know, the all of all of the ducks
Speaker 2: in a row, like where you have a payment you
Speaker 2: can afford at a decent interest rate and not a
Speaker 2: crazy long repayment term to do that so that you're
Speaker 2: you're not giving the bank any more money than you
Speaker 2: absolutely have to.
Speaker 1: And just remember, like moving forward, getting a car. Honestly,
Speaker 1: I've never had well, when I was in college, my
Speaker 1: dad got looks like a least So I guess that's
Speaker 1: the closest to like a new car that I've had,
Speaker 1: but I've never owned own a brand new car. That
Speaker 1: that that the best way to go, Like, I'll never
Speaker 1: ever get a brand new car. Instead, you can I
Speaker 1: get it that, You're like, I don't want to. There's
Speaker 1: a different there's a there's a everybody thinks like you
Speaker 1: got a huged car has to be like a putt putt,
Speaker 1: you know, like a lemon. Then I have to get
Speaker 1: a new car. There's something in between. You can get
Speaker 1: a car that's two years old. That's what I have now. Well,
Speaker 1: when I got it, and it was certified pre one,
Speaker 1: meaning that they brought it up to speed as a
Speaker 1: new car. And what's so great about that is that
Speaker 1: certified pre oonne means that there's typically a warranty and
Speaker 1: it ranges. I would say, what I typically see it
Speaker 1: is like one hundred thousand miles or like six years
Speaker 1: or sometimes ten years. So what that means is like
Speaker 1: my husband, now his car was making some noise, so
Speaker 1: he too has a certified pre owned car and it
Speaker 1: was making some noise dropped it after the dealership they
Speaker 1: gave him a loaner and they're like, oh, it's the
Speaker 1: gasket and the dada, but whatever, he's gonna pay nothing
Speaker 1: because it's certified pre onn That means all of those
Speaker 1: things are covered, and they they've certified that for I
Speaker 1: think it's six years up to one hundred thousand miles,
Speaker 1: and so he's still has like four more years on it,
Speaker 1: and his car only has thirty thousand miles, So seventy
Speaker 1: thousand miles or four more years, whatever comes first, anything
Speaker 1: that has to do with like the interior of the car,
Speaker 1: that things that are like covered by the warranty, which
Speaker 1: is most things. Then it's not like if he gets
Speaker 1: to flat tire, he has to pay for that. Obviously
Speaker 1: he doesn't have to pay for that. And so that's
Speaker 1: what I would suggest to people. Certifi pre own is
Speaker 1: like my babe, because you get to take the edge
Speaker 1: off of depreciation by not getting a brand new car,
Speaker 1: but you still get the flavor of a brand new
Speaker 1: car because your car is typically a year or two
Speaker 1: or max. Three years old, but you've got you've got
Speaker 1: a warranty that really covers your car.
Speaker 2: Fully, that's what I warranty that are.
Speaker 1: I can't remember it was either it's either six years.
Speaker 1: I think it might be six years, not ten years,
Speaker 1: but I have seen that ten years, but I think
Speaker 1: it's six years certified six years up to I want
Speaker 1: to say one hundred thousand miles, but I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't remember eat actly. But like the only thing of
Speaker 1: the reason why I came up is because literally today
Speaker 1: he was like, I had to drop off the car.
Speaker 1: I was making some noise and asked, well, what did
Speaker 1: they say? He said they were telling him this and
Speaker 1: this and this and that. He's like, okay, whatever, and
Speaker 1: he was like, you know, I was like, you know what,
Speaker 1: what do you have to pay? He's like, I just
Speaker 1: asked him to oil change, So I just have to
Speaker 1: pay for the oil change. And I was like, chitching,
Speaker 1: That's why I love me A certified pre own.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's an amazing warranty. All right, Well, thank you
Speaker 2: very much for your question. Let's take one more. This
Speaker 2: one comes from an Instagram user who'd like to remain anonymous.
Speaker 2: She says, I recently found out I'm pregnant and I
Speaker 2: was wondering about starting a baby savings fund. Do you
Speaker 2: guys think this is necessary? If so, how much money
Speaker 2: should be saved before baby gets here? We have ten
Speaker 2: k saved in an emergency fund and plan to pay
Speaker 2: at least thirty K and loans before the baby arrives.
Speaker 2: Our money is being stretched thin with a new house, loans,
Speaker 2: et cetera. But we're trying to get our life together.
Speaker 2: Thanks you too, love listening to you. Oh girl, I
Speaker 2: can identify a ten K. Say, that's awesome. You got
Speaker 2: a plan to pay off thirty K and loans before
Speaker 2: the baby arrives. That is also awesome. Let's see me
Speaker 2: not being a financial planner. What do I think is important?
Speaker 2: I think it's important that you guys focus on problems
Speaker 2: in front of you right now, which obviously the loans
Speaker 2: and paying off debt is a form of savings, to
Speaker 2: be honest. At the same time, though ten thousand dollars
Speaker 2: isn't a you know, it's not a bad start for
Speaker 2: an emergency fund. I don't. And in fact, if your
Speaker 2: cost of living is such that that really is something
Speaker 2: like you know, a year's worth of of you know,
Speaker 2: monthly expenses or a half a year or whatever. It's
Speaker 2: not a bad start at all. It really comes down
Speaker 2: to take a look at what it takes you guys
Speaker 2: to live. Add in this is what my financial planner
Speaker 2: told me to do. Add in any additional cost for
Speaker 2: the child. So kind of do a rough estimate of
Speaker 2: things like food and oh my god, thousands of diapers
Speaker 2: and childcare should you need childcare the first year and
Speaker 2: add that to your your monthly you know, essentials in
Speaker 2: terms of like here's what we need to live, and
Speaker 2: then multiply that by she told us by a year,
Speaker 2: by twelve months, and she said when you have a kid,
Speaker 2: she really encourages people to have a fund save for
Speaker 2: a full year. And for us, I was a certain number.
Speaker 2: For you guys might be a little bit different. That
Speaker 2: being said, you know, ten k' is a good start.
Speaker 2: I want to I want to say, paying off your
Speaker 2: debt is just going to make you feel so much
Speaker 2: more prepared for the baby. This year, I told you, guys,
Speaker 2: you know, we had a we had a zero percent
Speaker 2: interest credit card that we used for a lot of
Speaker 2: stuff for the house that we were chipping a. We
Speaker 2: had a plan to chip it away but as soon
Speaker 2: as I got pregnant, that car drove me nuts. I
Speaker 2: hated it, and I was not happy until that car
Speaker 2: was done. And we finished it like six minutes early,
Speaker 2: six months early, and it just gave me peace of
Speaker 2: mind to have that out of the way. I don't
Speaker 2: have a five to two nine plan setup. I don't
Speaker 2: have an investment fund for my future child at all.
Speaker 2: We're focusing on and we're focusing on almost, We're not almost.
Speaker 2: We're focusing on increasing our emergency fund, a factor in
Speaker 2: the additional cost of childcare, which we hopefully won't have
Speaker 2: to pay for next year, but for twenty twenty. And
Speaker 2: that's the focus for now, just that cash fund. And
Speaker 2: I think, you know, I think I have time. I'm
Speaker 2: not putting so much pressure on myself to have an
Speaker 2: investment fund set up. Maybe I'll start one just so
Speaker 2: that the grandparents can start contributing to it, but I'm
Speaker 2: more I'm I would be more worried about the fund
Speaker 2: that will support our family if the worst happens, you know,
Speaker 2: if our income goes away, so we won't have to
Speaker 2: rely on credit cards and other loans and the all
Speaker 2: the fancy and you know, investment funds and stuff that
Speaker 2: can come a little bit later. It'll be it'll be fine.
Speaker 2: That's my philosophy. But I'm not thinking.
Speaker 1: Fancy, right because one of the things I'm like looking into,
Speaker 1: like I'm like, you know, like a simple target date
Speaker 1: fund for like your you know, like this is like
Speaker 1: a so not for like currently for the baby, but
Speaker 1: like if you're like, you know what we want to
Speaker 1: put aside one hundred bucks a month, and you know,
Speaker 1: target date funds usually, so usually target date funds are
Speaker 1: typically for like retirement, but they don't have to be right,
Speaker 1: so you can do just a regular investment target date
Speaker 1: fund for your child. So you're like, oh, my child
Speaker 1: is one or two or ten or whatever, and then
Speaker 1: you choose the target date and usually they're like usually
Speaker 1: the like say it's like Vanguard, they'll have the target date.
Speaker 1: They'll actually say two thousand and sixty five, two thousand
Speaker 1: and seventy, so usually it's like five year increments. And
Speaker 1: so you'll say, like, okay, maybe the target date fund,
Speaker 1: you're wanting it for college, so you add, you know,
Speaker 1: your child is one, so you're like, okay, in eighteen
Speaker 1: years or fifteen years or whatever. You know, I want
Speaker 1: to have access to this money, but not even I
Speaker 1: want access, because if it's a regular investment account, you
Speaker 1: can always have access. But what it does is that
Speaker 1: you know you can put money in their monthly or
Speaker 1: or when however often that you want. And what's so
Speaker 1: great about a target date fund is that every balance
Speaker 1: is itself at least once a year based upon the
Speaker 1: age of the person, well not so much the age
Speaker 1: of the person, but of when the actual target date is.
Speaker 1: Because the closer you get to the target date, the
Speaker 1: less risky your investments get. So in the beginning, if
Speaker 1: your target date is twenty years away, you're likely going
Speaker 1: to be more heavily invested into stocks, and the closer
Speaker 1: you get to the target date, it's probably going to
Speaker 1: be closer closer and more heavily invested into bonds. But
Speaker 1: you don't have to worry about all that. You're just
Speaker 1: putting your two hundred bucks a month in and it's
Speaker 1: going to invest for you and balance itself for you,
Speaker 1: and by the time your kid is fifteen or eighteen
Speaker 1: or whatever, you have like this money that you set aside,
Speaker 1: and it's done better than a savings account, and you
Speaker 1: didn't have to worry about like shifting around investments because
Speaker 1: it's done it for you. So I tell people, putting
Speaker 1: money in the target date fund is just as easy
Speaker 1: as putting money in a savings account, So why not
Speaker 1: just do that, you know, But that's for like I said,
Speaker 1: for long term stay, long term growth and investment for
Speaker 1: your baby.
Speaker 2: And the thing with the five two nine plan tree
Speaker 2: member is that you know you could only use those
Speaker 2: expenses for education. You can. You can now use it
Speaker 2: to pay for K through twelve, like if you want
Speaker 2: to send them to a private school, it can help
Speaker 2: pay for that tuition. But still, like if you if
Speaker 2: your kid doesn't go to college, you have to find
Speaker 2: another way to use that money for education. You can't.
Speaker 2: It's the only way you can transfer it to another child,
Speaker 2: and it's kind of anyway. So that's that's the downside.
Speaker 2: So I agree. I mean, if you're going to try
Speaker 2: and invest, you could just open an iray, you know,
Speaker 2: or a brokerage account or whatnot and start investing that
Speaker 2: way for your kid. There's a lot of good articles
Speaker 2: out there on like pros and cons of you know,
Speaker 2: of roth iray versus a five two nine plan. And
Speaker 2: I'll try and share some links in the show notes
Speaker 2: for you guys.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm so nervous about by two nine plans right
Speaker 1: because I'm just like, oh, what if my kid, I mean,
Speaker 1: even though I know you can use it for like
Speaker 1: education now, like you know, but I'm like, what if
Speaker 1: I you know, who knows what college is going to be?
Speaker 2: Am I selfish for thinking that? Sorry to interrupt you, Okay,
Speaker 2: Am I selfish for thinking all we do is interrut
Speaker 2: each other? What are we talking? What am I talking about?
Speaker 2: Talk over each other the whole time? Anyway? Politely? I
Speaker 2: I part of me is like, I'd rather isn't my
Speaker 2: kid gonna be a genius? Won't they get scholarships? Like
Speaker 2: you know, I figured out how to pay for school.
Speaker 2: I part of me is sort of like, I'm not
Speaker 2: so worried about, you know, completely financing I'm not. I
Speaker 2: just won't completely finance college education. I mean there are
Speaker 2: other I just know there's so many ways, or hopefully
Speaker 2: there will still be ways for to you know, subsidize
Speaker 2: the cost of education if you get good grades and
Speaker 2: you look for scholarship opportunities, Like I don't want to.
Speaker 2: I don't want to put that pressure all on me
Speaker 2: and and part of my part of the you know,
Speaker 2: the way that I was that I was raised, you know,
Speaker 2: my I I grew up financially insecure for my parents,
Speaker 2: Like I was really worried all the time. But my parents'
Speaker 2: finances I still am. It's something that still worries me,
Speaker 2: and I feel like I need to be financially It
Speaker 2: drives a lot of my motivation for being financially independent.
Speaker 2: Part of me, like when I think about what I
Speaker 2: want to give my child, the gift to them that
Speaker 2: they probably will never appreciate, but I will because what
Speaker 2: I went through. I want to give them the knowledge
Speaker 2: that mom and Dad are okay, Like the knowledge that
Speaker 2: we are financially sound. They don't have to worry about us.
Speaker 2: All they have to do is worry about themselves. And
Speaker 2: I so when I'm approaching my future financially and I
Speaker 2: kind of talk to my financial advisor about this and
Speaker 2: my therapist a little bit, but I want to make
Speaker 2: sure that my husband, like we are right, you know,
Speaker 2: that our finances are in good shape, that our lives
Speaker 2: are rich and whole. And maybe it makes me sound
Speaker 2: selfish and maybe I'm not articulating it right but do
Speaker 2: you kind of get what I'm saying? Like I want
Speaker 2: to set a really good financial foundation for us, so
Speaker 2: that my kid can succeed on their own merit and
Speaker 2: not have to worry about us later. Am I a
Speaker 2: terrible parent?
Speaker 1: Now? No? No, because I does. I feel like that's
Speaker 1: how That's how Superman feels. Because here's the thing. To me,
Speaker 1: the best gift a parent can give a child is
Speaker 1: not to be right now actually dependent on them when
Speaker 1: they get older.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think the only reason I'm successful is
Speaker 2: because I really I knew I did not have a
Speaker 2: damn safety net. There was no net waiting for me.
Speaker 2: I had to I had to do it, and I don't.
Speaker 2: And kids who grow up with that sense of comfort
Speaker 2: that there's going to be someone, you know, to pick
Speaker 2: them up, or some money to fall back on, or
Speaker 2: some inheritance, I just don't think they try as hard.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's a bad stereotype, but that's that's where my
Speaker 2: head's out. What do you think.
Speaker 1: I think? I mean, I don't think there's anything wrong
Speaker 1: with that. I mean, I I'm really I was always
Speaker 1: really if it was good to know. I mean up
Speaker 1: until like really like recently that I didn't have to
Speaker 1: worry about my parents financially. Then my mom retired like
Speaker 1: a little earlier than anticipated, and then there was a
Speaker 1: little bit of stress there because we were like, Okay,
Speaker 1: so how are we going to help them manage so
Speaker 1: because here's the thing. Your kid figuring out college when
Speaker 1: they're eighteen, ninet to twenty, they have many years ahead
Speaker 1: of them. If by the time they're in college, you
Speaker 1: used to be winding down and figuring out your own retirement.
Speaker 1: And if you're if they're now thinking like, well, how
Speaker 1: am I going to manage my life now? I also
Speaker 1: got to take care of my parents financially. No, put
Speaker 1: your mask on first. I really if you had to
Speaker 1: choose between your child's college education and your retirement, I
Speaker 1: say hands them always your retirement because college educations can
Speaker 1: be figured out a myriad of ways. Your retirement. You know,
Speaker 1: you don't want to be like, I've got five years left.
Speaker 1: We got to make a miracle happen, Like no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: put your mask on first, just like they tell you
Speaker 1: on a flight.
Speaker 2: That's kind of what I'm getting at. Yeah, so just
Speaker 2: making sure that you're financially signing to the listener who
Speaker 2: asked about the baby fund. You know, they have this
Speaker 2: debt that's weighing on them. You know, setting your kid
Speaker 2: up so that you guys don't have debt is sort
Speaker 2: of a gift in and of itself, and at least
Speaker 2: you know you have a decent enough emergency fund to handle,
Speaker 2: you know, a few setbacks, and it's not like you're
Speaker 2: completely being vulnerable. So paying off that debt and then
Speaker 2: trying to replenish or keep adding to your emergency fund
Speaker 2: to the point where you you know, get to get
Speaker 2: it beefed up now that you have the additional expense
Speaker 2: of a kid coming, I think that's a fair priority
Speaker 2: versus putting money into a college fund. You know you can,
Speaker 2: It's on my list that would probably come third. But
Speaker 2: if you're truly worried about it, you can do what
Speaker 2: I did, which is, you know, chat with a financial
Speaker 2: advisor and they can kind of help honestly verify what
Speaker 2: you already know sometimes but point you in in the
Speaker 2: right direction for for the near future.
Speaker 1: So now it's time to do just to break with
Speaker 1: all our b a family, were gonna booth, were gonna break.
Speaker 1: What we're gonna do.
Speaker 2: Mandy, you always set me up, even though we know
Speaker 2: Tiffany also rhymes that's ship.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't want to say, well, we're gonna do
Speaker 1: Tiffany because it's.
Speaker 2: Like, you know, I'm leave so convenient.
Speaker 1: No, I'm trying to think I got another brown ambish
Speaker 1: and running. What was it? Girl? I want to tell
Speaker 1: you in these streets, they're.
Speaker 2: Loving this podcast.
Speaker 1: It's so awesome for people to want to be like,
Speaker 1: I love you, I love Mandy, I love the podcast.
Speaker 1: Or they'll say something podcasting and I'm like, you listen
Speaker 1: because I amach feel like it's just me and you talking,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, people listen. So that's been happening
Speaker 1: a lot lately. So yeah. Literally, a woman ran up
Speaker 1: to me and she gave me a hug and was like, oh,
Speaker 1: oh I forgot. I forgot, And that's how I knew
Speaker 1: instantly she was like a listener.
Speaker 2: So are you saying that you love hugs now and
Speaker 2: you will accept them on the street. No, that's what
Speaker 2: you're saying.
Speaker 1: I don't hate hugs. I don't hate hugs because dreamcatchers
Speaker 1: are not creepy. I have to say I haven't met
Speaker 1: anyone that's made me feel like girl, but women tend
Speaker 1: not to be creepy, thankfully, so so no, I don't
Speaker 1: hate hugs. I mean, hugs are not my fabe, but
Speaker 1: you are definitely warming me up. And honestly, I do
Speaker 1: love the love. That's one thing I do love. It's
Speaker 1: just I love how much you know you guys are
Speaker 1: like and then it'll be funny because they're like and
Speaker 1: this one's for bandy, Like, Okay.
Speaker 2: I'll take a hug, just don't rub my bump.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that is so rude. So if you don't mind,
Speaker 1: I can. I can go back if you want me to.
Speaker 2: That's fine. I'll go first, just to be fair. It's cool.
Speaker 2: My I don't know all I can think, and I
Speaker 2: was kind of trying to tell Tiffany this all I
Speaker 2: can think right now. And I knew after the baby
Speaker 2: shower it would kind of be like it was like
Speaker 2: the thing I was looking forward to, and then as
Speaker 2: soon as it ended, it would be like the other
Speaker 2: side of the baby shower. We feel so much closer
Speaker 2: to the fact that baby's coming soon. So I'm down
Speaker 2: to five weeks and I am something has I've done
Speaker 2: all this prep and I keep trying. I've been done
Speaker 2: all this prep work. I've been seeing my therapist who
Speaker 2: specializes with new moms. I've been you know, working on
Speaker 2: my transition plan for work, and something about this week,
Speaker 2: I just feel like I don't have enough time, Like
Speaker 2: I'm starting to get a little frazzled. I'm starting to
Speaker 2: get anxious. I'm texting my husband like he's like, what's
Speaker 2: wrong with you? Relax? And I'm just like, we don't
Speaker 2: have the right basinet yet. We don't have this, we
Speaker 2: don't have that, and I I don't know. Maybe it's
Speaker 2: just I don't know the fact that I'm far along
Speaker 2: in my pregnancy, but I'm I don't know how to
Speaker 2: I need to get a grip. I need to get
Speaker 2: a massive grip. So my boost or sorry, my break
Speaker 2: is just for my own anxiety. And I was just
Speaker 2: trying to give myself a pep talk after I got
Speaker 2: off work and be like, listen, if you were a girlfriend,
Speaker 2: you would remind them of all the steps they've taken
Speaker 2: to be prepared for this baby, and you would not
Speaker 2: be freaking out like you are. But I am. It's
Speaker 2: like and I was at a meeting today at work
Speaker 2: and it was this like women and leadership at my
Speaker 2: company kind of pow wow, And I kind of went
Speaker 2: off on them because I felt like I'm not super
Speaker 2: supported with all the maternity leave stuff at my company,
Speaker 2: Like it's a little convoluted, it's a little confusing, and
Speaker 2: I'm looking at my calendar and I'm like, I only
Speaker 2: have a month left to figure out my my, my
Speaker 2: benefit plan and all that kind of stuff. And I mean,
Speaker 2: it was probably good for me to give them that feedback,
Speaker 2: but it's just little things like that I are just
Speaker 2: not like totally figured out. And I don't have a
Speaker 2: pediatrician yet, and I know I was supposed to do
Speaker 2: that by now. And anyway, I'm sure this is just
Speaker 2: like coming off as rambling, but I'm going a little
Speaker 2: Nutso so maybe you guys can help me. And if
Speaker 2: you were going to give me, like what are the
Speaker 2: what are like the five things I can do this
Speaker 2: week that will make me feel less insane, like less
Speaker 2: ill prepared? You did that mom box is legit. I've
Speaker 2: had moms. I had a couple of moms visiting me,
Speaker 2: like friends of mine, and they were like going, they
Speaker 2: were like, this is perfect for new moms.
Speaker 1: I was, so, you have no idea. I was like researching, researching.
Speaker 1: I was asking I had asked all the unicorn moms
Speaker 1: because we have, like come, just had a baby less
Speaker 1: a year ago, Tamper's baby's like two, we have like
Speaker 1: so I was just asking all these moms and they
Speaker 1: were giving me like a list of things like girl
Speaker 1: nipple cream and and I vaguely remember like a year ago.
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, there was like a box that
Speaker 1: had like all of this stuff that you wouldn't think
Speaker 1: that you knew, because I was like, you're gonna get
Speaker 1: enough onesies, enough, like because I brought at first, I
Speaker 1: bought this cute and I'm still gonna send it to you,
Speaker 1: but I bought this cute little like elephant blanket with
Speaker 1: a little elephant attached to this all. But and I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: but man's gonna have ten thousand of these like cute
Speaker 1: little things. But like, what about for you?
Speaker 2: And ice packed from my vagina?
Speaker 1: For real? What about that?
Speaker 2: Because I opened that and I was like, yes, yes,
Speaker 2: I will be split in half. You're right, I do
Speaker 2: need this vagina shape. I was so excited.
Speaker 1: I was like wait, and so I googled like mom
Speaker 1: survival kid, first time mom, and then mom mobs popped
Speaker 1: up and that's what I remember. I remember, this is
Speaker 1: what it was. So I got you one and Taylor,
Speaker 1: you should have gotten it by now. Taylor, Well, you
Speaker 1: know Taylor, Taylor Cathley. Do you know she's pregnant?
Speaker 2: Wait, Taylor who?
Speaker 1: Taylor or Taylor who? From Elevate she wrote for Oh,
Speaker 1: Taylor Warden cong Taylor Hay she knew about around the
Speaker 1: same time. And yes, I think she's moving to Germany.
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's a lot anyway, I said, I
Speaker 1: sent Taylor a mom box as well, because so many
Speaker 1: moms were like I remember when when Drina had Gabe
Speaker 1: and my sister Carol had just had whoever came first,
Speaker 1: but they were like I remember her saying, girl, you
Speaker 1: gotta ny nipple cream. Girl, you like all these random
Speaker 1: things that you're like what, And so I just was
Speaker 1: excited to get something that was gonna be for you
Speaker 1: because there's gonna be plenty of things for baby, and
Speaker 1: things that were really gonna be like yes, that were
Speaker 1: really gonna be for real, that was really gonna be
Speaker 1: like helpful like that. You were like I never even
Speaker 1: thought of this, like I you know, like I didn't
Speaker 1: realize like extra hospital underwear and all these kind of things.
Speaker 1: So I was like, yeah, I'm so glad you like it.
Speaker 2: It's perfect. And I was looking on the website. They
Speaker 2: have one for people who are planning a C section
Speaker 2: because they have all kinds of other issues. No, I really,
Speaker 2: it's a it's a. It was such a sweet gift.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Andy got sent me some really beautiful flowers. Honestly, they
Speaker 1: were gorgeous.
Speaker 2: Oh good. It's hard because you don't get to see them,
Speaker 2: so you know, I went local. It was someone that
Speaker 2: it was a florist in Newark.
Speaker 1: No, it was perfect. It was. They were so beautiful
Speaker 1: that I ended up for the party making them like
Speaker 1: a centerpiece and then getting other similar bouquets. And I
Speaker 1: usually as a picture, like I want four other bouquets
Speaker 1: for the tables. So they were like beautiful. And I
Speaker 1: love autumn covers, so let's I love that stuff in here.
Speaker 2: I know you guys are like, okay, no, you need
Speaker 2: to hear me complain, but seriously, though, if you have
Speaker 2: any tips or struct or you just want to tell me.
Speaker 1: Girl.
Speaker 2: I was freaking out too, and I survived. I feel
Speaker 2: like we're prepared but it's just it's just it's coming, man.
Speaker 2: Five weeks, five short weeks, or as everyone has been
Speaker 2: telling me. I feel like everyone who ever delivered early
Speaker 2: has been telling me their stories this week, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: can you please not tell me these? I did not.
Speaker 2: I've never entertained the idea of delivering early, but now
Speaker 2: I'm freaking out that I'm just going to go into labor,
Speaker 2: like on the flight home tomorrow, and then what am
Speaker 2: I going to do?
Speaker 1: I'll say this, so just remember this because I remember
Speaker 1: when I went to go visit my sister and she,
Speaker 1: you know, I had to tell her. Okay, so remember
Speaker 1: that your husband is also a new parent, So just
Speaker 1: keep that in mind.
Speaker 2: What does that mean that they can help too?
Speaker 1: No, but meaning that, like because she was snappish and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, be nice.
Speaker 2: Oh at him? Oh yeah, he did have the audacity
Speaker 2: to get sick this weekend, And I was like, mother,
Speaker 2: what is wrong with you? Go get First of all,
Speaker 2: hasn't gotten a flu shot yet, should have done that already.
Speaker 2: Second of all, had the audacity to get ill. I
Speaker 2: had to take care of him this weekend, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: I would dare you can't you microwave for your own soup.
Speaker 2: We don't have a best at that yet.
Speaker 1: Like, just remember that that like gonna seem like it's
Speaker 1: me against the world, and it's like, well, you know
Speaker 1: you're not the only new parent in the mix, and
Speaker 1: that you know that it's also scary and stressful and
Speaker 1: everything for him too, And it's hard because you know,
Speaker 1: especially if you're gonna breastfeed, it's really hard because you know,
Speaker 1: like baby is like I don't know who that guy
Speaker 1: is you with the boobs come here? And so that
Speaker 1: part is like a little bit difficult because you know,
Speaker 1: men want to help, but there's only so much when
Speaker 1: babies are like do you have boobs? Okay?
Speaker 2: Then go on you is this with me? Am I
Speaker 2: feeling better after this?
Speaker 1: Or I'm just like you know that, like it's gonna
Speaker 1: be easy to be frustrated with him, but just understanding
Speaker 1: that both of you are new parents, that you're not
Speaker 1: the only new parent and so I.
Speaker 2: Can't verbally abuse him. Got it.
Speaker 1: For a minute, I was just like okay, dually knowing it.
Speaker 1: But now honestly, it's so awesome, like to see them
Speaker 1: like they're so like we visited them, they're so you know,
Speaker 1: and like I said in the beginning, everyone's feing out
Speaker 1: the babies like where am I? Where am I? Parents
Speaker 1: are like who am I? Where am I? And then
Speaker 1: it gels and then one day you're like, we got this.
Speaker 2: So yeah, okay, thanks letting me, let me, let me
Speaker 2: get off my chest.
Speaker 1: And I was gonna be so in love honestly, like
Speaker 1: I my niece and my nephews, I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: when they leave, I'm like totally, like I can't imagine,
Speaker 1: like the love of your own child. You're going to
Speaker 1: be like so in love, so that will outweigh any
Speaker 1: other feeling of like fear and this and that and
Speaker 1: you know, but yeah, blister, well did it have nipple
Speaker 1: chapstick in there or whatever that is?
Speaker 2: Nipple cream? Yes, thank you very much for that. I
Speaker 2: put on my registry. People don't want touch that. Apparently.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm getting thank you.
Speaker 2: My boob, say thank you in advance.
Speaker 1: All right, So I am going to boost as well,
Speaker 1: because like, I can't remember what the question was the
Speaker 1: last time we recorded where, but I remember our answer
Speaker 1: was about thinking audaciously and thinking big and practicing speaking
Speaker 1: the thing you went out loud. So I spoke something
Speaker 1: out loud during our last recording and it like came true,
Speaker 1: and I was like, WHOA. So I didn't even remember
Speaker 1: so what it was, I can't remember, Like I said,
Speaker 1: whatever the question was, and I think, like I said,
Speaker 1: the solution was, I said, say it out loud, speaking
Speaker 1: out loud, think audaciously, and I said, my big, crazy, wild,
Speaker 1: audacious goal is I have a children's book, Molly Moore,
Speaker 1: that had written. The illustrations are done, we're just finishing
Speaker 1: up the graphic design. So my big audacious goal was
Speaker 1: Molly Moore, my children's book that I just finished writing,
Speaker 1: my first one. For it to be a billion dollar business,
Speaker 1: for it to have its own for Molly to have
Speaker 1: her own TV show, merchandise, a book series, just like,
Speaker 1: for basically Molly Moore to be the next door. That's
Speaker 1: my big, crazy, audacious goal. So I said it as
Speaker 1: an exercise to the BA listener that wrote in their
Speaker 1: question about I guess how to think big, or something
Speaker 1: to that effect. Don't you know somebody I won't say
Speaker 1: the network. I'm sorry she's listening. Hey girl, don't you
Speaker 1: know somebody from a huge, huge, huge I don't think
Speaker 1: it's cable. I don't know what they call it because
Speaker 1: I don't watch TV. A huge network reached out said,
Speaker 1: heard about your book, interested in talking about you know,
Speaker 1: potentially developing into a show, and I was like, wait,
Speaker 1: what book A site, unseen book, unread all And it
Speaker 1: was just such a good lesson that I'm here. I
Speaker 1: am trying to teach a lesson to the b a listener,
Speaker 1: and I'm learning a lesson for myself, because the truth is,
Speaker 1: I said it about Molly Moore, but I don't know
Speaker 1: if I really believed it. I was just saying it.
Speaker 1: And what it did was I was learning the lesson myself.
Speaker 1: And that's really my boost in that thinking and speaking
Speaker 1: and acting audaciously really does work, and we as women
Speaker 1: especially have to practice it because we are really taught
Speaker 1: to remain small, to be polite, to take as little
Speaker 1: space as possible in this world. And you don't have to.
Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong if you're like you want something big
Speaker 1: and huge and ginormous. You never know who's listening. So
Speaker 1: I mean honestly, like literally she hit me up in
Speaker 1: my in my in my ig DMS and literally said,
Speaker 1: heard you on Brown Ambition, heard about your children's book.
Speaker 1: I love financial education and what you're doing. Let's talk
Speaker 1: about what it might look like to develop that into
Speaker 1: a show. And I'm like, is this real life? Is
Speaker 1: this real life?
Speaker 2: I love it? So you never know who's listening when
Speaker 2: you speak out loud too, and we have you know,
Speaker 2: it's it's kind of like the importance of networking. When
Speaker 2: we have this audience, we have the show, you never
Speaker 2: know who's listening. So you know, by speaking, you just
Speaker 2: you just throw it out there and you just never
Speaker 2: know what's going to come back to you. So I
Speaker 2: love that, that's the message.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that was just really great. Honestly, I just
Speaker 1: felt really good about that, and I just I was
Speaker 1: like I had to share because I wasn't expecting that,
Speaker 1: and yeah, just now I'm all excited. And so one
Speaker 1: of the things I've learned after ten years of business
Speaker 1: is typically when an opportunity comes up like this, like
Speaker 1: something big, it's usually it's usually the initial like the
Speaker 1: initial thing is not the thing, it's like the thing
Speaker 1: before the thing. That's what I call it, meaning like
Speaker 1: it's there to say get ready. So it might take
Speaker 1: a year before this relationship develops into something, or maybe
Speaker 1: it'll be another network. I don't know, but I do
Speaker 1: know that rarely when something big comes up, is it
Speaker 1: the initial thing that it's usually the thing to say, Hey, Tiffany,
Speaker 1: this thing is coming. This is a reminder get ready now.
Speaker 1: So it's just like you know, and that's how I've
Speaker 1: learned sometimes to manage disappointments, because sometimes you know something
Speaker 1: will happen and it's like, oh, it didn't happen, and
Speaker 1: that's not true. That thing was there to prepare me
Speaker 1: for what was coming forth in the future. And so
Speaker 1: just keeping that in mind too that oftentimes, you know,
Speaker 1: it's easy to get disappointed when you don't get what
Speaker 1: you want in your first go round, not realizing that
Speaker 1: it wasn't there for that. It was merely just like
Speaker 1: a like a flare gun being flared up to say, hey, here,
Speaker 1: I am the thing that you're that you're wishing and
Speaker 1: wanting and working toward. It's going to happen, but I
Speaker 1: need you to like get in alignment.
Speaker 2: Now, fingers crossed. I don't care having a boy. He's
Speaker 2: gonna be a Molly Moore fan. I want the T shirt,
Speaker 2: I want the backpack, the stuffed animal, all that.
Speaker 1: I can't wait. Did I did I ever show I
Speaker 1: showed you Molly Moore, but I haven't showed you the cover.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, I'm gonna sound.
Speaker 2: A little fro. Yeah, it's so cute.
Speaker 1: Honestly, I'm just I just can't wait. You know, you
Speaker 1: just know, I just feel it in my bones that
Speaker 1: like I just I want, like, you know, not just
Speaker 1: it's not just for little brown girls. It's really just
Speaker 1: for kids in general to start laying the foundation and
Speaker 1: for parents to have the tools and resources. Like I
Speaker 1: literally was just adding, like like literally, there's a section
Speaker 1: and it says, hey, adult and I break down based
Speaker 1: upon the core Career in standards. These are the nationwide
Speaker 1: standards that have been created by educators to say, hey,
Speaker 1: every school in the nation has to adhere to these
Speaker 1: standards that by first grade kids should know this, by
Speaker 1: kindergarten kidshould know this. So I aligned it with those
Speaker 1: standards so you and I tell you that this book
Speaker 1: is going to teach rhyming and counting and all these
Speaker 1: other wonderful things. And then I say, here are some
Speaker 1: questions to ask your child, and here's how to turn
Speaker 1: that question into a writing activity, a reading activity. A
Speaker 1: speaking activity, so I really take like teacher Tiffany really
Speaker 1: shines at the back of the book, so you it's
Speaker 1: not just a book for you. This is a tool
Speaker 1: to really stretch and grow your child. So I'm really
Speaker 1: excited about that component.
Speaker 2: Can't wait. When's the pub date? Do you have a
Speaker 2: Is it next year?
Speaker 1: Yes, it's It's tentatively January twenty twenty, so we should
Speaker 1: be going to print in like a couple of weeks.
Speaker 1: So if we go to print and it looks good,
Speaker 1: then we could just print them, which I'm excited about.
Speaker 1: I chose I know, I specifically chose a is a
Speaker 1: woman owned a woman owned, yes, women owned publishing company
Speaker 1: because someone asked me in my DMS it's Wyse Inc.
Speaker 1: Shout out to Dara. What I love about Why's Inc.
Speaker 1: Is that it's the perfect hybrid of what I wanted
Speaker 1: traditional publishing they typically own your stuff, but then self
Speaker 1: publishing me, you have to do everything I wanted a
Speaker 1: publishing company that was somewhere in the between. And Lovey
Speaker 1: my friend love shout out to love Though. For Muna
Speaker 1: Luci Bridel magazine cover, she looks amazing. Go to her,
Speaker 1: go to her insta anyway. So she's the one who
Speaker 1: told me about whys Inc. And it's a hybrid and
Speaker 1: that I get ownership or I have to pay for
Speaker 1: all my things, but then they help me with distribution
Speaker 1: and and help me with like layout and all these
Speaker 1: other things that a traditional publisher would, but I just
Speaker 1: pay out a card. So it's the perfect for what
Speaker 1: I'm looking for for this book. It's the perfect blend
Speaker 1: of personal responsibility but professional assistant. So if you're looking
Speaker 1: for that kind of mix, then Wyse Inc. Is awesome.
Speaker 2: So excited I know, all right, Well that is the show.
Speaker 1: Guy.
Speaker 2: Thank you for listening. And to those of you who
Speaker 2: pointed out there was a glitch in an episode or
Speaker 2: two ago. You guys missed some of Tiffany's rant against
Speaker 2: Snoop Dogg. I'm gonna fix that right now, said go back.
Speaker 2: I think it's episode one ninety three. Go back and
Speaker 2: hear her read Snoop Dogg. I'm so sorry because it
Speaker 2: was well worth to listen. I will fix that right away.
Speaker 2: I love that
Speaker 1: I read against Snoop Doog.