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Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions.

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Speaker 2: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or

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Speaker 2: a terrible threatful guess what You've got Decisions? Welcome to

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Speaker 2: another episode of You've Got Decisions.

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Speaker 1: It's Girl Man DV and I'm joined this week with Eden.

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Speaker 3: Hello.

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Speaker 4: Yes, we are taping.

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Speaker 2: This in the A so Weezy is not here today,

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Speaker 2: but it's okay. It's okay because I'm actually going to

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Speaker 2: lean into a very special piece that I have over

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Speaker 2: on Patreon called Mandy on the Hotline. So this week

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Speaker 2: for You Got Decisions, you're actually gonna hear a voicemail,

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Speaker 2: and I'd love to receive more voicemails from you guys,

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Speaker 2: So if you like to call in and leave a voicemail,

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Speaker 2: you can go ahead and call nine seven three nine

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Speaker 2: three to two zero two to seven, and you may

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Speaker 2: hear your voicemail here, but for sure over on Patreon

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Speaker 2: on our very special bonus content Mandy on the Hotline.

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Speaker 2: If however, you want to send in Aletta, you could

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Speaker 2: always email Decisions Pod at gmail dot com. We will

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Speaker 2: answer your questions here and hopefully help you.

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Speaker 1: Out with your life.

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Speaker 4: Do you you have a book.

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Speaker 1: You know I do. If you haven't yet, make sure

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Speaker 1: you also purchase.

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Speaker 2: Our book, No Holds Barred, a dual manifesto of sexual

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Speaker 2: exploration and power.

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Speaker 1: It's the drink. It's the drink.

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Speaker 2: Baby, listen, it's it's been a long day. It's been

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Speaker 2: a long day. Also, we're going on tours starting in July,

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Speaker 2: and we want to see each and every one of

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Speaker 2: you there, So please please please head on over to

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Speaker 2: NHB tour dot com and get your tickets for the tour,

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Speaker 2: and of course purchased No holsbard wherever you get.

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Speaker 4: Make them New York Times bestsellers.

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Speaker 2: Please hear, and then you're gonna help me with this

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Speaker 2: question we got. What's crazy? Is this one just came

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Speaker 2: in fresh? This is a fresh one.

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Speaker 3: So.

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Speaker 1: Let's see what she's talking about. It looked like a lot.

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Speaker 4: This bear with me.

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Speaker 1: This one's too minutes. It's okay because she got a lot.

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Speaker 1: She gave us details and I appreciate that. You feel me.

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Speaker 1: All right, So here we go.

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Speaker 3: Hey, many minute was free. I'm from Kelly, but I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna keep it short. So I've been sucking with this

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Speaker 3: guy for like six months. Sometimes he's like he's just

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Speaker 3: hot and cold with me some day sometimes. But one

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Speaker 3: day he showed me his medicine captain. I was like, oh, okay, interesting.

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Speaker 3: And then like a few weeks later, I was cooking

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Speaker 3: at his house and he had left a minute, but

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Speaker 3: the medicine cabinet was open, so let me see if

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Speaker 3: he's by if he's taken by polar medication because he

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Speaker 3: needs so weird. Anyway, I look in the cabinet and

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Speaker 3: I see doctors feeling in prep and my heart like

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Speaker 3: literally stank to my stomach. But I had to get

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Speaker 3: myself together and I was like, maybe he's just like

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Speaker 3: extra careful whatever, because you know, we just like we

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Speaker 3: just like it. But anyway, he had five like side

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Speaker 3: bottles of each of them. But anyway, the next day

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Speaker 3: I asked him about it, and he was like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I don't take prep. I've just been I just got it.

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Speaker 3: So I was able to so I could get the

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Speaker 3: doctor's filings. I was like, so you acted gay so

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Speaker 3: you can get doctor's feeling. He was like, it's just

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Speaker 3: you take it like I think he's at thirty six

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Speaker 3: hours after after you have sex and you think you've

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Speaker 3: been exposed to somebody solf. He was like, I don't

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Speaker 3: take prep. I just I just give it to my

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Speaker 3: friends when they need it. And I'm just like, I

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Speaker 3: don't know, I don't know what to think about it.

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Speaker 3: I tried, I'm believing him at the moment, but it's

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Speaker 3: still liked damn, like you're really a freakyus maybe in

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Speaker 3: prep and this amount. But I also was like, maybe

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Speaker 3: he's stelling it. I don't know. He lives in LA

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Speaker 3: and I just want to know what you would think

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Speaker 3: if you saw that, And yeah, thank you.

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Speaker 2: Okay, first of all, not you thinking this nigga might

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Speaker 2: be bipolar because he hot and cold with your ass girl.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it's just not that into you first off, and

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Speaker 2: clearly the that already because now you think he gay,

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Speaker 2: but you think the bipolar off off him being up

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Speaker 2: and down.

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Speaker 1: With his moods with you or hot and cold. Is coursy.

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Speaker 2: I love too that we just love were in the

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Speaker 2: space of mental health where we just are diagnosing, because

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Speaker 2: let's be very clear, my friends, no.

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Speaker 4: I'm not.

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Speaker 1: Na well for the audience.

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Speaker 2: Doxy cyclin I don't even know if that's not saying

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Speaker 2: is it even doctor? Doxy silent cyclin cycling circline doxy

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Speaker 2: broad spectrum tetral. Another guy there work symbiotic commonly prescribed

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Speaker 2: to treat various bacterial infections and certain parasitic infections. So

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Speaker 2: bacteria infections include anything from and here this is what's important.

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Speaker 2: Anything that causes respiratory infections, so like pneumonia and bronchitis,

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Speaker 2: skin infections like acne or cellulitis UTIs, and then sexually

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Speaker 2: transmitted diseases like chlamydia and syphilis, also tick born illnesses

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Speaker 2: like lime disease. But it's also a common treatment for

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Speaker 2: acnea roisation.

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Speaker 1: I say all of that to say.

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Speaker 2: None of those things are probably it because prep was

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Speaker 2: right next to it, but that particular one could be

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Speaker 2: used for anything else. Now, the fact that he said

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Speaker 2: he has it and had to get the prep in

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Speaker 2: order to be diagnosed with this one, my concerns are

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Speaker 2: hold on. My concerns are if he knew or claims

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Speaker 2: that this antipibiotic.

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Speaker 1: Clears up or saves him from getting.

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Speaker 2: Something like a chlemittee or a syphilis within thirty six hours,

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Speaker 2: I would be absolutely concerned for my health because that means.

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Speaker 4: He's more probably.

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Speaker 1: Out here not using protection. I do like the.

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Speaker 2: Kind of preventive measure of getting this antibiotic. However, I

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Speaker 2: would be concerned with how he is having sex with

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Speaker 2: other people. Now, you didn't say that this was your partner.

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Speaker 2: You said that this is a guy that you've been

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Speaker 2: fucking with for six months. To me, and the fact

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Speaker 2: that you're also saying that he's hot and cold, he

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Speaker 2: probably hot and cold dealing with other people.

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Speaker 4: Oh, not that what you was saying.

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Speaker 1: He could be more hot with others, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean.

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Speaker 2: The only way I think you should consider maintaining this

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Speaker 2: situationship if you like him, would be to.

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Speaker 1: Ask for test results, because I.

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Speaker 2: Would say, you're clearly in a position where you're fucking him,

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Speaker 2: but you're not together. You're not in a relationship with him,

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Speaker 2: so it's not exclusive. And if you see that this

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Speaker 2: is the medication in his cabinet, I don't think there's

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Speaker 2: any reason to shame him or call him a hoe

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Speaker 2: or but he could be engaging in more risky sex,

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Speaker 2: which makes me believe it should be easy. If it

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Speaker 2: was this easy for him to talk about why this

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Speaker 2: medication is in his medicine cabinet, this would actually be

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Speaker 2: probably a really good candidate for someone to be like, Hey,

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Speaker 2: that's dope.

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Speaker 1: I see like you got.

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Speaker 2: Preventive measures in your medicine cabinet. Do you mind if

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Speaker 2: we share results? And because he has the medication, I

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Speaker 2: would say on a monthly.

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Speaker 5: Basis, if you think after six I mean, I'm not

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Speaker 5: saying that he can't nor should she ask, right, I

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Speaker 5: mean his initial reaction from after six months to be

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Speaker 5: asked results it's to be I.

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Speaker 2: Mean, I'm not gonna lie the way he whether he

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Speaker 2: was lying or not, his reaction was, hey, I only

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Speaker 2: have the PREP, which PREP is still associated to gay men,

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Speaker 2: a gay man drug to keep them from getting HIV.

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Speaker 1: We've talked about PREP.

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Speaker 2: If you haven't yet, we have a whole episode two

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Speaker 2: speaking about it with Sex with Athlete over on Patreon.

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Speaker 2: But PREP by a man, I would automatically assume you're

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Speaker 2: also dealing with men, let's be very clear. And then

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Speaker 2: the other one for him to so nonchalantly say it's

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Speaker 2: something I could take if in case I'm exposed.

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Speaker 5: To maybe he's not comfortable enough. Sure, David, I'm gonna

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Speaker 5: say this real quick. It doesn't matter that they've been

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Speaker 5: fucking for six months. He still might not be comfortable.

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Speaker 5: She'll let her know that he is intimate and it

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Speaker 5: is what it is. We as men could be very

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Speaker 5: insecure by our own sexuality.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely right. That's why I don't care about what the

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Speaker 4: fuck I say. Sometimes I'm like, dude, I know who

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Speaker 4: I am.

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Speaker 5: The truth, or at least safety comes with a heart

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Speaker 5: troop something it does, because that the reality is that

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Speaker 5: if you want to know it, and I think you're

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Speaker 5: being frank in one of the best way possibles, which

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Speaker 5: is ask for those results, because the reality is is

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Speaker 5: that you're saving yourself and even him, because it could

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Speaker 5: really be either way at one point, right, someone could

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Speaker 5: be doing something wrong. But here it's there's a misunderstanding

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Speaker 5: and there's something that seems a little off to you,

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Speaker 5: and you shouldn't take a risk with your body if

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Speaker 5: you're feeling it's not worth it.

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Speaker 4: Mad other dick right, mad mad other dick mad mad bad?

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Speaker 4: But clearly you like this one.

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Speaker 2: I mean yes and no, I mean the hot and

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Speaker 2: cold him being that way. Here's the thing too, ask yourself,

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Speaker 2: would you not want to deal with him at all?

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Speaker 2: If he admits to dealing with men.

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Speaker 4: He also might not be bob polar, He might be no, no, no,

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Speaker 4: I just yeah, he does.

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Speaker 2: Mean, yeah, he just may not know how to juggle

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Speaker 2: multiple people, so his communication and moods, would you just.

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Speaker 1: Multiple people?

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Speaker 2: He may just not know how to navigate being on

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Speaker 2: all the time, juggling to so many different people. So yeah,

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Speaker 2: I think you have to ask yourself first off. Okay,

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Speaker 2: he's expressed to me already that he has this antibiotic

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Speaker 2: in case of exposure, which means clearly you're not exclusive

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Speaker 2: with each other, which means you both are dealing with

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Speaker 2: people just possibly unprotected. That's just the truth, the fact

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Speaker 2: of the matter. You have to deal with yourself or

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Speaker 2: look in the mirror and ask yourself.

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Speaker 1: Would it bother me.

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Speaker 2: Truly psychologically to know that this guy that I've been

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Speaker 2: dealing with for the last six months also engages in.

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Speaker 4: Acts with men or acts in general? Do you think both?

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Speaker 4: I mean, do you think she knows that if he's

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Speaker 4: fucking other women?

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Speaker 2: Maybe the only reason why the fact that she said

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Speaker 2: she was cooking at his house makes me think, I

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Speaker 2: mean that it might be a little bit more than casual, okay,

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Speaker 2: because you cooking a meal for someone. Okay, And this

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Speaker 2: could just be me projected, y'all know, me for someone

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Speaker 2: is very intimate. You're also cooking it at his house.

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Speaker 2: So I do think that there's a comfortability factor there

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Speaker 2: where she may be progressing to really like this man.

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Speaker 2: And I think that if that's the case, you have

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Speaker 2: to look at what the hell is that potential looks like?

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Speaker 4: You know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Like is this something that you would be okay with?

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Speaker 2: Like, he ain't got bipolar medicine, but she got prepped

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Speaker 2: and then now you're thinking she no, Let's be very clear.

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Speaker 2: Can we talk about the delusion she went down the

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Speaker 2: rabbit hole of believing that, well, maybe he's just selling it.

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Speaker 2: Maybe he's slanging that prep in these streets. Girl, you

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Speaker 2: gotta take prep every day.

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Speaker 1: Girl, you just ain't.

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Speaker 2: Selling appeal to these motherfuckers. They're not get high off prep.

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Speaker 2: So I need you to not think that he out

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Speaker 2: here slanging prep pills.

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Speaker 1: Okay?

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Speaker 2: Like, so I think you have to be real with

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Speaker 2: does this really bother you because you believe he may

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Speaker 2: be dealing with other men? Have you created a safe

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Speaker 2: space for him to be honest with you? Like, did

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Speaker 2: you immediately did you immediately see.

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Speaker 1: That prep and be like, oh, nigga, Like on some

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Speaker 1: bulldog's voice type ship or are you someone that could

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Speaker 1: just be like, hey, we can dig together.

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Speaker 4: Just because he's doesn't mean doesn't.

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Speaker 1: But I'm just saying, what level of comfortability have you created?

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Speaker 3: To me?

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Speaker 1: There's a level that he's showing you his medicine cabinet.

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Speaker 4: But did he you know what? I think she's maybe she.

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Speaker 2: All looked well, no, no, she said she snooped while

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Speaker 2: he was gone. But he's one day he showed me

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Speaker 2: his medicine cabinet, and I was like, okay.

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Speaker 1: Interesting.

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Speaker 4: First of all, it was probably like OpEd he opened

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Speaker 4: this ship. And then she's like, oh the cabinet.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't know this, mirac I got this.

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Speaker 4: And then like then it was fine, okay, balance, you

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Speaker 4: might be onto something.

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Speaker 1: He just went in there to grant, he went the

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Speaker 1: medicine bottles.

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Speaker 4: He got away like she ain't. But I respect it,

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Speaker 4: you know.

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Speaker 1: I think.

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Speaker 4: It's tough.

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Speaker 5: I think regardless, And I was just having this conversation

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Speaker 5: with front of mine and just in general, yes, be selfish,

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Speaker 5: take care of yourself. Notice, at the end of the day,

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Speaker 5: no matter what he's taking, even if brace it could

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Speaker 5: be a preventative measure. As for the results and protect

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Speaker 5: yourself because really, at the end of the day, you

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Speaker 5: don't want to get called out in any sense at all,

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Speaker 5: and any sense and it's not Maybe it's not out

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Speaker 5: of malice. Maybe he's doing his best to try to

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Speaker 5: protect them, regardless if he's with men or not. Even though,

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Speaker 5: like you said, right, the reality is that something happens

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Speaker 5: to you, you're going to have to deal with it.

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Speaker 5: It don't matter what's in his medicine cabinet, is about

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Speaker 5: what's going to be in your medicine cabinet. If you

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Speaker 5: don't deal with that, you don't handlate very responsibly. It's

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Speaker 5: not about you being in the upper hand. It's not

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Speaker 5: about him doing some wax shit. It's about you figuring

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Speaker 5: out and making sure that you're okay at the end

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Speaker 5: of the day.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree, I agree. I also think it's just

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Speaker 2: like I love what you just said about being selfish.

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Speaker 2: I think as women, we often bite.

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Speaker 4: Our ya y'all take care of us so much, but

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Speaker 4: also or not.

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Speaker 2: The and the risk of ourselves being in danger sometimes.

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Speaker 2: I mean, oh, women are very delusional. But I think

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Speaker 2: when it comes to sex and talking about our health

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Speaker 2: that becomes difficult because we weren't taught how to do that,

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Speaker 2: our dumb asses millennials, and I don't know what gen

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Speaker 2: Z sex education looks like now, but we literally were

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Speaker 2: just taught abstinate or else you're gonna get pregnant and die.

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Speaker 2: So I think that there wasn't enough conversation about how

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Speaker 2: to realistically, without shame and without judgment, have a very

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Speaker 2: real conversation about health. Like, yes, if you are going

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Speaker 2: down on a man and you see something that don't

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Speaker 2: look right, bring your head back up.

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Speaker 1: And be like, hey, what is this? I mean, maybe

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Speaker 1: not like that, but okay, but just maybe hey, you

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Speaker 1: don't want anything, so maybe just be like.

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Speaker 2: This isn't the right time, this isn't the right moment,

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Speaker 2: and have the conversation later, ask for results, ask for

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Speaker 2: test results, to feel comfortable with these people.

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Speaker 1: And again, medication.

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Speaker 4: Is there to help, But do you want to have

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Speaker 4: to be Do you want to have to.

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Speaker 1: Take medication for the rest of your life? With something else?

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Speaker 5: Stop thinking about his, thinking about what might have to

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Speaker 5: be in yours if you don't take the right procedure,

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Speaker 5: because as a day, even though he might still be safe,

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Speaker 5: it could be a premitive measure. You can find yourself

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Speaker 5: in a really tough spot, unfortunately, unfortunately, and you don't

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Speaker 5: want to do that.

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Speaker 1: You do not want to do that, I'm telling you now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So look out of his situation and really be selfish,

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Speaker 2: like Eddin said, and only.

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Speaker 1: Care about you, whether you like him or not. Gerder's

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Speaker 1: mode dicks in the sea, there's mouchies in the seed.

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Speaker 1: There's more.

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Speaker 2: There are more options for you out here than to

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Speaker 2: be with someone who a may not be forthright about

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Speaker 2: his health or whatever else he's doing.

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Speaker 4: When you're not around that hot and cold shit is

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Speaker 4: definitely a big red flag. No, I agree, a big

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Speaker 4: red flag. The biggest red flag.

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Speaker 1: Yes to no, you don't date man niggas is hot

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Speaker 1: and cold.

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Speaker 2: No, Like that's a normal when you're just dating someone,

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Speaker 2: or you're or you have a situationship, or you're just

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Speaker 2: having sex. Mind you, a lot of women often find

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Speaker 2: it difficult to communicate what type of relationship they want

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Speaker 2: from a man, so they're willing to just take whatever

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Speaker 2: communicating and they want more.

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Speaker 5: No I'm talking about them, but I'm talking about that

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Speaker 5: he might be just putting his attentions oide of the woman.

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Speaker 2: Or I mean, you know what, I mean, it's not happening,

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Speaker 2: but that's what I'm saying. It's hot and cold. Could

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Speaker 2: literally be also her realizing that she's not getting what

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Speaker 2: she wants out of this relationship.

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Speaker 1: I said that from the top.

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Speaker 6: I said that from the top, it might not be

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Speaker 6: interested in you, and it might not be that sucks

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Speaker 6: for you. But Andrew, just take the safe route. Accept

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Speaker 6: the heart truth with your safety.

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Speaker 1: Accept the heart truth with your safety. That's our advice

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Speaker 1: to you.

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Speaker 6: Hunt.

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Speaker 2: Now, make sure if you like to send in a

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Speaker 2: letter to you've got decisions, email us y'all. We need

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Speaker 2: to help y'all. Email us Decisions pod at gmail dot com.

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Speaker 2: Or if you'd like to submit a voicemail, send it

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Speaker 2: over to ninety seven three nine three two zero two

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Speaker 2: to seven.

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Speaker 1: And we will help you out with your life. Baby,

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Speaker 1: We gonna help you out with your life. Anyways, Thank y'all.

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Speaker 1: If you are new here, I'm Mandy B.

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Speaker 2: You can follow me everywhere at Full Court Pumps and

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Speaker 2: also check me every Tuesday on my other podcast, Selective Ignorance.

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Speaker 1: But if you want to see my words onto paper

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00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:42,399
Speaker 1: and not really sounding like this, it sounds way more eloquent.

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Speaker 3: Make sure you.

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Speaker 2: Purchase No Holds Barred, a dual manifesto, Sexual Exploration and Power,

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Speaker 2: available now for pre order wherever you purchase your books.

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Speaker 1: And get your tickets to come see us on tour

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Speaker 1: NHB tour dot com. Cannot wait to meet you all,

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Speaker 1: cannot wait to hug you all, cannot wait to feel

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Speaker 1: you all.

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Speaker 4: Pause, No, I didn't mean them, alright, alright.

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Speaker 1: Anyways, Thank you guys for another episode of You Got Decisions.

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Speaker 4: See you guys next week