Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello, Here, I am
Speaker 1: Nicky Nicky Glazer Podcast. Welcome to the show. It's Wednesday.
Speaker 1: I'm in St. Louis with Andrew Colin. What's up? Andrew?
Speaker 1: Can I opened my eyes now? Yeah? Surprised? It's me
Speaker 1: What if it was freaking? Oh my god? Um? Noah's
Speaker 1: in Arizona. How are you guys today? I'm good? Got
Speaker 1: stretched this one got stretched at stretched out way. I
Speaker 1: know that sounds so gross when you say it. Which
Speaker 1: part all of them? Yeah? What did you get stretched?
Speaker 1: Just my asshole? How long was it? Ashol? Yeah? Well
Speaker 1: I'm dilated? Were you I literally googled last night? Is
Speaker 1: my hemorrhoid too long? Did you measure it? Honestly? This
Speaker 1: thing it's its own person. It's starting to grow legs.
Speaker 1: I think it doesn't hurt like a salamandertail. Yeah, pull
Speaker 1: off and we'll grow back. It looks like maybe you
Speaker 1: have to have surgery. Looks like a man that makes salads.
Speaker 1: That's how big it is. Boy, I think so it's
Speaker 1: a tong It's cool though, I could tucker tucker and
Speaker 1: now it's a girl. Did you did you look at
Speaker 1: it yet? I haven't looked at I pull on it
Speaker 1: sometimes so you know you can feel how long it is? Yeah, yikes,
Speaker 1: when you feel it, feel it or like on it.
Speaker 1: So then what's then? Who cares? It's an accessory? Does
Speaker 1: it get the little tail? Does it get in the
Speaker 1: way from what I mean? Like? Why why did you
Speaker 1: even google? Like? What's too long? If it's if it
Speaker 1: doesn't bother you? Um, a question. I don't know that
Speaker 1: is a good question. Um, it's just unusually long. How
Speaker 1: long are we talking? Do we have? How long is
Speaker 1: this podcast? To say the measurements to the exact numeral
Speaker 1: it would take it would be like singing pie um
Speaker 1: again to tell me what are we talking? Seriously? How long?
Speaker 1: And like, let's be honest here, don't go don't exaggerin
Speaker 1: show me with your fingers. I don't do this again.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't feel, but you feel like if
Speaker 1: you were to pull on it. Guys, he's doing an inch.
Speaker 1: It's it's at least it's an inch, maybe an inch
Speaker 1: and a quarter. Yeah, it's Wait, and what are the
Speaker 1: diameter of it? Like? Is it a little like? Is
Speaker 1: it like a what's the like feeling of it? Is
Speaker 1: it like rubbery. Yeah, it's like a it's like a
Speaker 1: rubbery substance. It's like if you pulled you know those
Speaker 1: like like Plato or like an older rate those a
Speaker 1: racers that would pull apart kind of something like that.
Speaker 1: I'm sure it doesn't hurt when you pull on it.
Speaker 1: It doesn't hurt. The only time my asshole hurts is
Speaker 1: when I eat spicy food and then it somehow you
Speaker 1: know my ass I don't know. I don't know why
Speaker 1: it hurts so bad. Um, you never looked into that,
Speaker 1: like why does spicy food make my asshole hurt? I'm
Speaker 1: busy googling other things. Yeah, like one other thing just
Speaker 1: every day. I mean it's abnormal. Yeah, that's I mean.
Speaker 1: So anyways, I got my hips stretched, yeah, and just everything.
Speaker 1: It's a great experience. And how much is it? Did
Speaker 1: you find out? So you can get four sessions for
Speaker 1: like a fifteen bucks or something and then you chip
Speaker 1: on top of that, yes, I do, tipper, I do?
Speaker 1: Then okay, And how long do they stretch you for? Again?
Speaker 1: Twenty minutes? So it's not long enough. You could do
Speaker 1: a forty minute option. It be probably, I don't know,
Speaker 1: like more probably, Um, all right, I could be into that.
Speaker 1: I mean just the way. I don't know the best
Speaker 1: way to do things. But you compare them to massages
Speaker 1: you get do you roll first before they stretch because
Speaker 1: stretching I've learned yesterday from my guy. If you stretch
Speaker 1: without rolling out first, you're pulling on cables that are
Speaker 1: like taught. But if you roll first and warm up
Speaker 1: the muscle, then it's going to it's going to be
Speaker 1: able to stretch like a rubber band. But if you're
Speaker 1: just stretching cold, like going in and just all right
Speaker 1: way stretching and not doing rolling out first, you're just
Speaker 1: pulling on cables that can't move. So you're saying, my
Speaker 1: hemorry could be even longer a little roller pizza. Oh
Speaker 1: my god? Alright, does that make sense that he my
Speaker 1: guys said. Your muscles are like imagine they're like taffy.
Speaker 1: If you're trying to pull about taffy and has a
Speaker 1: rapper on it, you can't do anything. But when you do,
Speaker 1: you know my o fascial release. By rolling out, it
Speaker 1: warms up the muscle, it removes the rapper, so then
Speaker 1: the taffy can stretch. Now, how sorry, when you roll
Speaker 1: because when I roll it's it feels like a million
Speaker 1: bees love it so much. Last night I was like
Speaker 1: really getting into it. I did my chest, which is
Speaker 1: like it is sort Today I went really hard with
Speaker 1: the thera god and also with like lacrosse ball just
Speaker 1: like over it and it was so good and um
Speaker 1: and this morning I do feel like better and more like, oh,
Speaker 1: like there's more movement in my chest and then um,
Speaker 1: I rubbed out my um my this with my ands,
Speaker 1: which is like the lower calf and like all the
Speaker 1: oh boy, there was some good spots there. But Chris,
Speaker 1: my boyfriend who goes to this guy and has been
Speaker 1: doing it much longer, he was like, you gotta find
Speaker 1: the because I was doing theragun on my chest and
Speaker 1: I was like, why can't I just do this instead
Speaker 1: of the little cross ball And he's like, show me
Speaker 1: the pressure you're doing and I did the thyra gun
Speaker 1: in his hand and he was like it's not hard enough,
Speaker 1: Like you need to like find spots and just push
Speaker 1: on them and like torture yourself with those little knots
Speaker 1: and which is like my favorite thing to do, but
Speaker 1: it's so painful. It's so painful. I got and I
Speaker 1: got these I got toad spacers from my Bunyan's are
Speaker 1: my favorite thing. These seventy dollars. I used to have them,
Speaker 1: but I lost them and I was that and you yeah,
Speaker 1: and you. So they're toe spacers. You can't find this
Speaker 1: kind of Amazon. These are like the other ones are
Speaker 1: made of like this just such a little rubber. I've
Speaker 1: tried to hands and it spreads apart your toes and
Speaker 1: the one between my big toe and my second toe
Speaker 1: has like it has a little hole in it. So
Speaker 1: does the one on the end. And so you can
Speaker 1: roll up. I rolled up an old set list and
Speaker 1: put it in there and it made it even bigger space.
Speaker 1: So now are you wearing those yesterday? Because you posted
Speaker 1: a video on our Instagram. I've been and they fell
Speaker 1: up at the very yes, the new ring. They fell yeah,
Speaker 1: at the other foot. Can I ask a question, huh?
Speaker 1: This one doesn't have the space because I don't need that.
Speaker 1: That hurt at all. It starts to hurt a little
Speaker 1: bit because it's like stretching up. How long are you
Speaker 1: supposed to keep him on all the time because you
Speaker 1: wear yeah, if you wear to spacers and like um
Speaker 1: Bunyan splints for just at night, like it's you're the
Speaker 1: way you walk will completely outdo every Like if you
Speaker 1: take them out suddenly, then the pressure of your whole
Speaker 1: body leaning on that toe and pushing it back into place,
Speaker 1: it negates everything. So you just I wear them. I'd
Speaker 1: try to wear them all day. When you take them,
Speaker 1: did you run yesterday? When you take them off, does
Speaker 1: it feel like remember when we're talking about the arms,
Speaker 1: when you push up on the arms. I was wondering this,
Speaker 1: does it feel weird to then have your toes come
Speaker 1: together at all? Or no? No, no, they just go
Speaker 1: back right back to the way they were. I love
Speaker 1: these though. They feel so freaking good. I like left
Speaker 1: them on first of panky panky last night, and like
Speaker 1: the pain of these plus I don't know why I
Speaker 1: can see my grand but so delightful. I love pain,
Speaker 1: just like being like your body being forced to do
Speaker 1: things that like it knows it can do, but you
Speaker 1: gotta dry really hard. It's just so rot to me,
Speaker 1: Like I forgot they. I left them on during lovemaking
Speaker 1: and then after while they were on my foot during it,
Speaker 1: I was like, this is an added like thing like
Speaker 1: for me, I like sex to feel like endurance. Like
Speaker 1: I'm doing things that are like I'm uncomfortable with physical
Speaker 1: not like psychologically, but somewhat physically too, And so I
Speaker 1: think that it just adds to it, like I'm always
Speaker 1: going to wear my Bunnion splints during sex. Now I
Speaker 1: really like it. Did you keep the crocs? Uh? No,
Speaker 1: that would have been too hot. Now is your Is
Speaker 1: your boyfriend attracted to the He doesn't mind it, They're
Speaker 1: just they're not in the picture. He's he doesn't. He
Speaker 1: puts his fingers and them. That would be cool. I
Speaker 1: don't think it'd be cool for him. I don't want
Speaker 1: to speak for him, but I don't. He is not
Speaker 1: turned on by my feet by any means. He's not
Speaker 1: a foot guy or anything like that. Everything stretched out.
Speaker 1: If you don't want to go what a word? No,
Speaker 1: it is the worst word. But I will say that
Speaker 1: Lebron James has the worst feet I've ever seen. So
Speaker 1: if anyone ever tells me, how do we know about
Speaker 1: Lebron's feet? Do you want me to show you a picture?
Speaker 1: Because I was looking at googling celebrities with Bunyan's and
Speaker 1: all of a sudden his shop showed up, and I'm
Speaker 1: like Lebron James is bunyan is worse than anyone else's bundion.
Speaker 1: I've ever seen that. Dude has put more miles on
Speaker 1: his feet. But no, but other athletes don't have feet
Speaker 1: like this. They do, they really don't. Like he has
Speaker 1: a bunyan. Imagine, imagine if he gets corrective surgery and
Speaker 1: then like he loses his whole game like that bunyon
Speaker 1: is the for another ten years and that's the only
Speaker 1: thing holding him back. M I think I think he
Speaker 1: has done enough research that if this thing needed to
Speaker 1: be fixed, Now, what if the doctor said to you,
Speaker 1: either you could wear those I mean, what is that?
Speaker 1: My mom has that kind of toe. What do you
Speaker 1: mean what kind of to his pinky toe where it
Speaker 1: comes up. Yeah, that's like it's it's be moved over
Speaker 1: from like two tight of shoes and just weird. That's
Speaker 1: like the best athletes on earth feet I know. So
Speaker 1: I have I have feet that are very similar. I
Speaker 1: have moren't common with Lebron James than you do, probably
Speaker 1: I would say so. I mean, I'm pretty my foot
Speaker 1: looks mangled and now I look at his, like, Okay,
Speaker 1: Lebron James has it, whereas Chris was saying to me, well,
Speaker 1: I think think of what maybe he could be without that.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what what more do we need from Lebron James.
Speaker 1: I'm sure there's a hot women, hot women sports star
Speaker 1: that has no bunyans. So I'm more similar to her
Speaker 1: than you. Okay, if you want to be a female athlete,
Speaker 1: for you, I don't wait, So what we're just talking?
Speaker 1: Oh what if the guy goes to you goes either
Speaker 1: you wear those spreaders every day or you just never
Speaker 1: wear heels again. Um, because doesn't the heels affect the
Speaker 1: bunyan Yeah, but I heels too good. They look, they look,
Speaker 1: they make they look amazing. It's like they would be
Speaker 1: like telling you not to wear an outfit that really
Speaker 1: elevates your style. You know, Like, no, I get that,
Speaker 1: but I'm just saying if it caused me pain, and like,
Speaker 1: that's not causing No, they're already there. That just like
Speaker 1: irritates them a little bit more than they already would
Speaker 1: be irritated. They're not. It's not really like making them worse.
Speaker 1: I only wear heels like two hours for three hours
Speaker 1: a night, two times a week, which is much. It's
Speaker 1: not too bad. It's not. That is not what's causing
Speaker 1: these things. So um, yeah, So I rolled out last
Speaker 1: night and then this morning I keep thinking of the
Speaker 1: ludicrous song roll out Starbucks this morning. Yeah, and I
Speaker 1: had to write this thing for this book. I just
Speaker 1: oh my god, this book. I mean, I feel like
Speaker 1: it's the bane of my exist I'm like, I feel
Speaker 1: so bad because the woman I'm writing with, I just
Speaker 1: keep telling her I'm going to like, oh, i'll have
Speaker 1: this to you by this time. I cannot get anything done.
Speaker 1: When I say it's going to be done, nothingisments. You're
Speaker 1: probably like, but did you get your audition done last night? Yes?
Speaker 1: I did do that, but I sent it thirty minutes
Speaker 1: after it was due and it might be too late
Speaker 1: for it. And I think I may have sent the
Speaker 1: wrong fucking thing. Like I don't even know, like it's
Speaker 1: and was it good? I don't know. You know what, though,
Speaker 1: I feel like everything I do is just last minute.
Speaker 1: I cannot get him for an extension. I don't know.
Speaker 1: It could be one of those things where it's like, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll wait for her, like they can always say no.
Speaker 1: That's my point is like I asked for extensions knowing
Speaker 1: that if they say no, then I lose the opportunity.
Speaker 1: And that's that I'm not like I know I'm going
Speaker 1: to get an extension, Like I asked knowing that the
Speaker 1: answer could be no, and I go, okay, well, maybe
Speaker 1: more value to ask for an extension. In a weird way,
Speaker 1: I just blow past every single fucking time I set
Speaker 1: for myself. It's just what did you do in school
Speaker 1: when you were when you were late with stay the
Speaker 1: night before everything? I know what made you do it? Though?
Speaker 1: Eventually punishment because no, because I had to turn it in.
Speaker 1: Why don't this deadline because there's no punishment. Well, because
Speaker 1: people make exceptions for television stars. Yeah, I can get
Speaker 1: away with it. And because I have people working for me,
Speaker 1: like and I'm paying these people that I'm you know,
Speaker 1: not not necessarily the people I'm turning in. Like if
Speaker 1: someone wants you enough, If someone wants you enough, they'll
Speaker 1: give you an extension, you know, or if like part
Speaker 1: of me that allow me to get away with things.
Speaker 1: But it's if someone goes no, you can't do that anymore.
Speaker 1: And this is a problem to be like, bit you're
Speaker 1: on my payroll, what you don't get to tell me.
Speaker 1: But I also realize I always give people, and I
Speaker 1: do this for everyone. I hope they know this that
Speaker 1: when I am running late about something. Even Matt the
Speaker 1: other day on our show, like I went long in
Speaker 1: the casino was pissed at him because it was like,
Speaker 1: you need to be off stage by twelve o'clock. I
Speaker 1: was off stage at twelve ten, and Matt got in
Speaker 1: trouble for it, and I'm like, please let them know.
Speaker 1: It's my fault. There's nothing you could have done. I
Speaker 1: don't I disobeyed you so like you are not in
Speaker 1: charge of me in that way and it's not your fault.
Speaker 1: Please let them know that, like blame me. So I
Speaker 1: hope that people know that. I like Noah when I
Speaker 1: forget to give her an AD or I like asked
Speaker 1: for an extension on an ad I'm due to give her.
Speaker 1: I I it's I never wanted to land on her
Speaker 1: that it's her fault, but she is in charge of
Speaker 1: getting it from me. So it does ultimately because I
Speaker 1: learned my lesson and I always broker for that extra time,
Speaker 1: so good. I don't know if I told you that,
Speaker 1: I know you're right because you know now like I
Speaker 1: am not gonna get I just to work with you.
Speaker 1: People learn how to work with you, and that's fine.
Speaker 1: That that's a part of the collaborative effort. The airport
Speaker 1: situation we used to like I used to bug me,
Speaker 1: and then you just adapt and it's not saying that.
Speaker 1: Like I also learned that your way isn't necessarily the
Speaker 1: wrong way. It's a different way than most people do,
Speaker 1: you know, like showing up you leave no time in
Speaker 1: regards to getting the bag there, getting to the air
Speaker 1: But I also learned you can do that. And we've
Speaker 1: only missed I think two flights in our whole Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think two three maybe out of like we've made
Speaker 1: every show. We missed one in in in Bloomington. Remember
Speaker 1: we got stuck in traffic that wasn't necessarily we did
Speaker 1: leave late, but that was kind of out of your control.
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's probably my control. But like I've
Speaker 1: I've I really have never maybe missed two shows in
Speaker 1: my twenty year career from but it's been late for
Speaker 1: the airport because there's always a way around it. And
Speaker 1: also I just look at things like it's a show.
Speaker 1: This is not me going to sign a peace treaty
Speaker 1: for the end of a war. This is a dumb
Speaker 1: show at a comedy clup and things, And yes, I
Speaker 1: know there's a lot of money running on it, but
Speaker 1: I always try my best. But when you start to
Speaker 1: look at things of like it's just a show, and
Speaker 1: then especially for you, like you can look at it
Speaker 1: like it's not my show. I know that took a
Speaker 1: while to get to. Also, you think of whenever you
Speaker 1: would travel as a kid, there was a you had
Speaker 1: to get to this thing, Like I remember I missed
Speaker 1: one flight, you know, my whole life. You don't miss
Speaker 1: flights really from leaving too late. When you only fly
Speaker 1: once every five months, it's like a big thing. It
Speaker 1: really annoys me when people are like, I'm packing for
Speaker 1: a trip next week. I got start packing and I'm
Speaker 1: like what over preparing for things really sets me off
Speaker 1: when people do that, Like because I'm such a person
Speaker 1: that doesn't do that that I get so annoyed by
Speaker 1: people who actually do the thing that I wish I
Speaker 1: could do that I just I just get so frustrated
Speaker 1: by them. But these are skills you learn over time.
Speaker 1: Travel for sixteen years so like, but I never I
Speaker 1: never passed that's true. For never, I was always the
Speaker 1: night before. I remember I missed one flight for like
Speaker 1: my step family reunion, and I probably missed it because
Speaker 1: I didn't want to go, like I've really fucked up.
Speaker 1: Doesn't want to go to step What is that? What
Speaker 1: am I doing there? Why am I there? It was
Speaker 1: in the middle of Pennsylvania. It was me and like
Speaker 1: five Nothing good happens in the middle of Pennsylvania, you know.
Speaker 1: For Welkes buried. That was a hell of a show.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's true. And that that plane crash. It
Speaker 1: was so weird being my step family reunion. That wasn't
Speaker 1: a good thing though, but a brave thing that was
Speaker 1: better than my step family read it was it terrible?
Speaker 1: So you missed it, So I missed it, and then
Speaker 1: they had to you know, then they had to change arrangements.
Speaker 1: And then you know, then you're the one coming. You know,
Speaker 1: they don't have to do that. That's on them. They
Speaker 1: think they can just go on without you. You're the
Speaker 1: one that missed it. You they don't have to change anything.
Speaker 1: When people go, well we had to do this because
Speaker 1: of you, it's like that's you. You wanted to do that.
Speaker 1: Just go on without me. I understand. If I'm the
Speaker 1: star of the show you got then I'm then I
Speaker 1: do feel bad and I'm like, I'm sorry, but we
Speaker 1: gotta go to break. Um. Let's talk more or less
Speaker 1: about this when we get to this, andrafted every steps
Speaker 1: co to another step. If you keep stepping up, you
Speaker 1: never step down. But if you step down, don't be
Speaker 1: sad because tom alright, we're back. Yeah, I apologize, I'm
Speaker 1: the show as you, ending the first segment with a
Speaker 1: little just like lullaby. Um. Anyhow did I watch? Have
Speaker 1: you seen the new Jackass? No? I have no interest.
Speaker 1: I don't like seeing people that. I don't think you would.
Speaker 1: I didn't finish. So this is the funniest part about Jackass,
Speaker 1: and I think you would. Really this would be your
Speaker 1: favorite prank. They go Johnny Knockaville open. He goes, we
Speaker 1: weren't going to do another It almost sounded like another
Speaker 1: Godfather the way he was talking about it. He's like,
Speaker 1: we never thought we would do another Jackass. And then Tremaine,
Speaker 1: Jeff Tremaine or whatever the other guys like, we never thought.
Speaker 1: And then Johnny looks at the camera earnestly goes, but
Speaker 1: I've been writing for ten years, and I knew I
Speaker 1: had to get what I've been writing filmed. Like he
Speaker 1: talked about like what he's writing is like it can't
Speaker 1: be more than what we write on our phone in
Speaker 1: terms of notes of like literally, nephew, like that's what
Speaker 1: his his. There's no writing that I understand. I called
Speaker 1: what I do writing too, but it's really just two
Speaker 1: words in a note. But I would never do writing
Speaker 1: is more so the first he cuts in the first interview,
Speaker 1: and it's just a guy putting a tube in his
Speaker 1: ass with hot sauce. And I'm like, I gotta see this.
Speaker 1: I gotta I want to see I want to copious
Speaker 1: notes that he has taken to write. What you think
Speaker 1: to draw like a stick figure thents. What if it's
Speaker 1: like a fifteen page, beautifully written thing about a guy
Speaker 1: putting hot sauce in his asshole? Oh my god, I
Speaker 1: was crying, dude, I was crying. Just how seriously he
Speaker 1: was the only person I ever interviewed that. I was
Speaker 1: just like, yeah, he didn't he was kid right, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna. I don't like when people go I don't
Speaker 1: like the celebrity because the one time I met him
Speaker 1: wasn't nice to me because he who knows what he
Speaker 1: was going through that day. He might have been up
Speaker 1: played right deadline, Dude. Every scene is them putting things
Speaker 1: in their asshole. So maybe I was just sad because
Speaker 1: something's coming out of yours. I mean, hot sauce inside
Speaker 1: your asshole. And then they put a popsicle in his
Speaker 1: asshole to cool it off, and then the guy ate
Speaker 1: the pops That's what Johnny wrote. Can you know, sorry,
Speaker 1: I that's porn. I watched every single day people's Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you know what's funny? Like I thought like if
Speaker 1: Johnny Naxo was born like five years ago, he would
Speaker 1: just be those fucking weird people that would come up
Speaker 1: with different ways to torture. Yeah. Have you ever been
Speaker 1: in one of those torture room? I remember, I don't
Speaker 1: remember when I went, but I saw the table where
Speaker 1: they would like the thing, the thing that just won
Speaker 1: the hell why that stratched? But you know they would
Speaker 1: do that to people. They would have two horses going
Speaker 1: opposite directions and go like go, and they don't diet,
Speaker 1: and then they'd rip you apart. That's a fast one.
Speaker 1: But um man, the one that really gets me, is
Speaker 1: like the iron cattle or the iron bull, the iron bull,
Speaker 1: I think it's called. They have this gigantic, hollowed out
Speaker 1: iron bull. It looks like a cow and they put
Speaker 1: a person in it naked, and then they put it
Speaker 1: underneath a flame and it slowly like heats up and
Speaker 1: just burned. You're just like, I mean, sorry to everyone listening, um,
Speaker 1: but that's how you make a good porterhouse man. I
Speaker 1: thought some really fucking uh disgusting creative ways to torture people,
Speaker 1: because like the Saw movie franchise, I'm you know, I've
Speaker 1: talked about it before. I like to read about squid game.
Speaker 1: I like to read about like really morbid things. I
Speaker 1: don't like to see them. But Saw, I love to
Speaker 1: read the ways in which they've creatively came up with
Speaker 1: people like to die and like the worst ways. And
Speaker 1: I've oh I've got that other a final destination. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that one's good too. That's where you start looking at
Speaker 1: It's like this rackets about the murder me, how would
Speaker 1: this racket fall and murder me? Um? That that really nothing.
Speaker 1: I can't think of anything creative with that, honestly, But
Speaker 1: nothing in this room and electrical man I thought someone
Speaker 1: was broken in my apartment today. I was going to
Speaker 1: murder me. I was in the shower and I heard
Speaker 1: like a door open, like like someone's and I thought
Speaker 1: it was maybe you, and I go, no, he doesn't.
Speaker 1: He would never come by this early. There's no chance
Speaker 1: that's happening. So I pulled back the curtain. I'm just
Speaker 1: like listening and Almoso like, and I don't want the
Speaker 1: dogs with me, so I'm like, funk they would they
Speaker 1: would be barking of someone. Then I realized I always
Speaker 1: locked my bedroom too, so I'm like, so this asshole
Speaker 1: has to get through two doors. So I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm is gonna hurry up and finish the shower. And
Speaker 1: then I just was like, I accepted that I'm going
Speaker 1: to die. There's nothing I can do right now that
Speaker 1: is going to prevent me from dying. If there is
Speaker 1: someone in my house with a knife, I'm dead. There's
Speaker 1: no me getting out and getting it. Like, so I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get I'm gonna be dead and less wet. If
Speaker 1: I get a towel, I'm gonna like, I just I
Speaker 1: just like, I'm just gonna still finish my shower because
Speaker 1: I'm not going to die, but nothing right now, I
Speaker 1: have no weapons, so wait, so what happened? Do you
Speaker 1: think someone came in andto it was? I went out? Um,
Speaker 1: eventually I left the apartment to go get something, and
Speaker 1: I saw in the in the hallway there's like a
Speaker 1: maintenance crew, so they were just some bang that happened
Speaker 1: out there. They're working on something, so it must have
Speaker 1: been that. But um, I really it was. It's a
Speaker 1: weird moment to go. I should just finish washing myself
Speaker 1: because there's nothing I can do. It's there's really I
Speaker 1: just looked around the bathroom and I kind of was like,
Speaker 1: what would I grab? I got nothing? Is there any
Speaker 1: part of you? I mean a small gun in your
Speaker 1: room just in case, a little small gun just because
Speaker 1: it'd be cute what they delivers or something stop a
Speaker 1: perpetrator and if she had, Yeah, guns would be too complex.
Speaker 1: I mean I even learned from you know, my book
Speaker 1: Columbine that um, Eric Harris broke his own nose with
Speaker 1: his gun because he didn't know and he practiced with
Speaker 1: guns a lot, and he broke his own nose from
Speaker 1: the back charge of it. And uh, that was one
Speaker 1: of the reasons he killed himself so early and didn't
Speaker 1: kill as many people because he was just like frustrated
Speaker 1: that he broke his nose. Really, the things you learn
Speaker 1: when you read a book about mass shootings and then
Speaker 1: a mass shooting happens and then you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I mean I listened. I literally posted yesterday, Guys, you
Speaker 1: should read this book park Land about mass shootings because
Speaker 1: it'll teach you a lot about the like I like.
Speaker 1: And then that guy that wrote that book is like,
Speaker 1: he's the one that gets called in to talk about
Speaker 1: these things every time they happen, And on his Instagram
Speaker 1: story is my repost yesterday of him being like, thanks
Speaker 1: for celebrating my book and then getting makeup to go
Speaker 1: on TV to talk about this fucking thing. I can't
Speaker 1: even believe. I did not know about yesterday's thing until
Speaker 1: nine o'clock at night. I don't know how I missed it.
Speaker 1: I got like one alert on my phone, and I
Speaker 1: don't even pay attention to alerts, and usually alerts unless
Speaker 1: they say like breaking, and they don't really do breaking anymore,
Speaker 1: because I guess too many people got I just saw
Speaker 1: maya news alert did not say breaking. It just said
Speaker 1: a school and blah blah blah. And sometimes they get
Speaker 1: alerts that are like a school is doing a new
Speaker 1: kind of book band, and I'm like, I don't give
Speaker 1: a funk about that. So I see school and I
Speaker 1: don't even think anything of it. And and I didn't
Speaker 1: know about till nine o'clock at night, and then we
Speaker 1: look at a phone and we go, Mike, eighteen fucking children.
Speaker 1: I mean, when Sandy Hook happened, that was but that
Speaker 1: was Sandy Look, that was combine, was contain plus two
Speaker 1: sandy look was like yeah, and it was young kids.
Speaker 1: I mean, it was just but I remember that being
Speaker 1: like almost like that was the biggest thing to happen
Speaker 1: in months and months. This just felt like oh yeah,
Speaker 1: And I go weed, eighteen kids, Why is this not
Speaker 1: being governed? I just don't understand. I feel like it
Speaker 1: just doesn't didn't make as big of an impact. The
Speaker 1: fact that I, who am on my phone all day,
Speaker 1: did not know about it. I feel like nine, I
Speaker 1: feel like, whatever to get your hopes up or whatever,
Speaker 1: which is on Ford, but it was in Texas, which
Speaker 1: is the biggest gun happy state. Wait to get my
Speaker 1: hopes up? What? No, no no, no, get our hopes up?
Speaker 1: In regards to like any kind of reform is going
Speaker 1: to happen. Oh, nothing's gonna happen. But I'm done. I
Speaker 1: have no hope. I'm really one of these people. I
Speaker 1: don't care. I don't I'm ready to give up because
Speaker 1: it's it's done. Climate changes, we're gonna humanity is over. Guys,
Speaker 1: count us out, like no one's going to change anything
Speaker 1: because I know. But I'm just saying if I would,
Speaker 1: I need. I just need to sit this one out.
Speaker 1: I got. I'm just tired of caring because they're not
Speaker 1: going to do anything after reading this column, then it
Speaker 1: will never change. I'm out. At some point, your know,
Speaker 1: at some point you're on that stretching table and you're going, oh,
Speaker 1: I hope something happens where this isn't gonna happen, and
Speaker 1: you just have to accept your fate. That's how I feel.
Speaker 1: I'm I feel like we are on. But when his
Speaker 1: daughter asked him, why do you still perform and then
Speaker 1: he couldn't say anything, I like that. I like that
Speaker 1: question because why do anything then if everything's going to
Speaker 1: go to ship because you you know, um, it's just
Speaker 1: I can't. This is why I don't get excited about
Speaker 1: things anywhere, because when they don't happen, I get so
Speaker 1: sad and it makes it ruins my life to be
Speaker 1: in constant states of disappointment about I get that. So
Speaker 1: if I stop caring what the Republicans I know they
Speaker 1: won't do, then they can't hurt me, Like if I don't,
Speaker 1: if I don't have if I have zero expectations for them,
Speaker 1: because I have zero anymore. They're heartless, money grubbing, disgusting,
Speaker 1: deplurab like just there the people. I don't even know
Speaker 1: how they get away with it anymore of just these.
Speaker 1: Even yesterday I posted they said, Matthew McConaughey hinted at
Speaker 1: gun reform. How do you hint about gun reform? Hinting
Speaker 1: like oh, what a break? And then that makes a
Speaker 1: news headline? Why because it's bad that he hinted, or
Speaker 1: because he should be making a headline that he hinted about?
Speaker 1: Who cares? No, I know That's what I'm saying that
Speaker 1: I just this is why I can't care, because it
Speaker 1: makes me so upset because it just doesn't make sense.
Speaker 1: It doesn't make sense, but I can I Yes, I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to like judge your caring, no way, the
Speaker 1: world's gonna end whatever. People don't realize. And it's like
Speaker 1: the Carlin thing when Roseanne was interviewing him and like, no,
Speaker 1: you actually you do care so much that when nothing happens,
Speaker 1: then you're like, yeah, that's why I can't care anymore,
Speaker 1: because people want to see that you do care them,
Speaker 1: because when you just go, I don't care because everything's
Speaker 1: gonna end, they don't realize it's because you care that much.
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that you're public whatever persona because
Speaker 1: so point being, he bought the guns legally as an
Speaker 1: eighteen year old. He bought three rounds. What Like who
Speaker 1: the fuck? Like how is it not a cut off
Speaker 1: a teenager? An assault? I mean, I'm just saying we're
Speaker 1: going to take their guns, Like why do they get
Speaker 1: to do everything to our why do they get to
Speaker 1: slowly cut things from um women's health care? And we go,
Speaker 1: we know what is going You're gonna take everything, And
Speaker 1: then you get mad at us and go, we're not
Speaker 1: gonna take everything, even though you actually do and that
Speaker 1: is your goal, even though you say you're not going
Speaker 1: to ever overturn Roe versus way, and then that's ultimately
Speaker 1: what you do when you're chopping away at it slowly,
Speaker 1: and that is what you do. And then when we
Speaker 1: say all we want is more gun reform, we want
Speaker 1: to be able to have background checks on people before
Speaker 1: they guns guns. We want to have longer waiting periods.
Speaker 1: We want we don't want teenagers to have assault right,
Speaker 1: but we want registries that are actually digitized and not
Speaker 1: in just these old books. Nothing's in a fucking computer.
Speaker 1: That's what we want. And you say, no, we know
Speaker 1: where this is going. You're gonna take away our guns.
Speaker 1: Why don't you believe us when we say we're I'm
Speaker 1: going to because you don't because you know that you
Speaker 1: don't do it. That's why you're you. You're scared of
Speaker 1: yourselves because you know you have no backbone. You know
Speaker 1: you have nefarious um goals that you are putting into place,
Speaker 1: so you know it's all projection. They think we're gonna
Speaker 1: do exactly what they're doing to us, which is lie,
Speaker 1: when really all we want is for children not to die.
Speaker 1: Have your fucking guns. I don't give a funk if
Speaker 1: you like guns, have your hobby. I don't care. How
Speaker 1: is this I mean, this is ad naus. I mean,
Speaker 1: who isn't feeling this way? This is the thing that
Speaker 1: bothers me? How could this is? There's no if you
Speaker 1: look in this this Parkland book I'm reading ninety, it's
Speaker 1: like nine of people, even gun owners, agree that they're
Speaker 1: should be background checks for people before they get guns.
Speaker 1: The guy in the book says, there's nothing politically that
Speaker 1: the country agrees on wise, there's literally nothing except this.
Speaker 1: Yet they still won't budge because there's that ten percent
Speaker 1: and the people in the n r A that convinced
Speaker 1: everyone that that means they're going to take all the
Speaker 1: guns if we give, if we budge even an inch.
Speaker 1: So the n r AS platform is we don't budge
Speaker 1: an inch because they'll take everything. So we state the
Speaker 1: way it is. And it's like what other, what other
Speaker 1: any other entity works that way where there's no like
Speaker 1: being like, oh, let's tweak this. That's why they're called amendments.
Speaker 1: That happened because we didn't get it right the first time.
Speaker 1: You have to amend things. They look. I looked at
Speaker 1: how much money the n r A is giving. It's
Speaker 1: not even that much. I mean's not even that much.
Speaker 1: Is a million dollars to someone a lot of money
Speaker 1: is a million dollars worth fucking hundreds of kids dying?
Speaker 1: Not even close. The most mid Roundney gets fourteen million,
Speaker 1: but mostly it's around like a million dollars. So for
Speaker 1: a million dollars where you're already all these people are
Speaker 1: already making good money, like they have money coming in
Speaker 1: from all over the place, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Like it's not like, oh, you have zero dollars, here's
Speaker 1: a million dollars for dead kids. And then they're like, okay, wow,
Speaker 1: a million dollars got to change my whole life. These
Speaker 1: fuckers already have millions of dollars. So it's like, and
Speaker 1: we need to stop talking. I don't want to look
Speaker 1: at that guy's face. I don't want to see I
Speaker 1: don't want to know the guy's name that didn't I
Speaker 1: don't want to see his face. I don't want anytime
Speaker 1: you see that turn it off, you guys. And years later,
Speaker 1: the book I'm reading does not mention the killer. Colum
Speaker 1: Mine did because that was already out. I don't even
Speaker 1: know the name of the Parkland guys. He calls him
Speaker 1: the killer the entire time. There's no pictures, nothing. Someone
Speaker 1: sent me something about Parkland, and it had the killer's
Speaker 1: face in it. I'm like, I don't want to see
Speaker 1: that kid. Give him nothing, because the reason these shootings
Speaker 1: keep happening is because these kids want to be famous.
Speaker 1: They they they all there's some huge like this is
Speaker 1: all in the Parkland book because he breaks down why
Speaker 1: this keeps happening, and people don't understand it's because we
Speaker 1: glorify these people, because we we um put them in
Speaker 1: the news constantly, constantly talking about them, and these guys
Speaker 1: want to be remembered. They want to go down in infamy.
Speaker 1: And if we stopped talking with these people, they all
Speaker 1: of these shooters, they go in and they look at
Speaker 1: what they've been doing, the notes that they have, you know,
Speaker 1: all the writing they've been doing, all the and they
Speaker 1: always worship other school shooters. They always they always have
Speaker 1: a hero complex about these people that we've built up
Speaker 1: in the media. So it is the media's job to
Speaker 1: stop talking about these killers in the sense of like, oh,
Speaker 1: I could do all this, and I might. They were suicidal.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, this guy died, and he died the way
Speaker 1: that the combat and kids wanted to die. But the
Speaker 1: Combine kids did not get to go doing a shootout
Speaker 1: with the cops. That is a way of glory of
Speaker 1: going out, is being they haven't all built in their head.
Speaker 1: I read about this kid. He had a lisp. No,
Speaker 1: I don't even want to talk about We're not talking
Speaker 1: about the kid the list. Honestly, Let's get to the news.
Speaker 1: Let's do one good news story. Lebron first, Lebron James
Speaker 1: feet see the basketball player shooting someone, those things like,
Speaker 1: don't come on, do you want to say your thing
Speaker 1: that you say for the news? Yeah? Apparently. Yeah, it's Wednesday, folks.
Speaker 1: You know what that means. It is Wednesday. I hope
Speaker 1: you're having all the swells out there that. Um. I
Speaker 1: know it's tough right now, but I don't know that.
Speaker 1: It's not a joke. It's just being honest. It'll happen
Speaker 1: again and again and again. It's just gonna keep happening.
Speaker 1: Don't you know this is the last one? Unfortunately? No?
Speaker 1: Uh okay, so uh this new star I was inspired
Speaker 1: by your Instagram live yesterday where you took everyone around
Speaker 1: your crib a tour of my house and everyone how
Speaker 1: dirty I am and how messy everything is, just so
Speaker 1: they could feel better about themselves. It gave me an idea.
Speaker 1: I'm sure, man, shower, have you ever seen an in
Speaker 1: Sino man, I'll show you once when he when they find,
Speaker 1: they find, they find. You're not spoiling anything for me,
Speaker 1: by the way. I know, I know, I know. I'm
Speaker 1: just trying to they find the caveman because there's like
Speaker 1: a muddy because I didn't. But I wasn't like avoiding anything.
Speaker 1: I would have showed them that, yeah there's footprints of
Speaker 1: my like spray tand but look now, okay, so no,
Speaker 1: what were you inspired by? Okay? So I was just
Speaker 1: looking up, um, you know, articles about why people buy stuff,
Speaker 1: and I found something very interesting. You can't buy your
Speaker 1: way to happiness. Don't fall into the retail therapy traps.
Speaker 1: So an estimated one to the population suffers from shopping addiction,
Speaker 1: a compulsion to buy more even in the face of
Speaker 1: mounting debt, as people struggle with anxiety, O, c D
Speaker 1: and other mental health issues. I'm not saying this is
Speaker 1: your thing. This is just well, you know, point taken.
Speaker 1: So here's here's what the marketing and shopping relies on.
Speaker 1: Shopping feels good when we're unhappy because it makes us
Speaker 1: feel like we're taking action, psychologists have found. But if
Speaker 1: you frequently use shopping to improve your spirits, you might
Speaker 1: be vulnerable to manipulative ads and website designs. Tricks like
Speaker 1: faux flash sales, meaningless countdown timers, and designs that lead
Speaker 1: you to click more expensive options are called dark patterns,
Speaker 1: and research researchers at Princeton found thousands of examples by
Speaker 1: crawling through the code of e commerce sites. I mean,
Speaker 1: there's so many things that get me all the time
Speaker 1: of like, yeah, fifty to sixty off already like and
Speaker 1: then you get a discount at you get to type
Speaker 1: in a promo code, so it makes it feel like
Speaker 1: you're doing something to to get that discount. Then you
Speaker 1: but it's already so high price, so it's not even intention.
Speaker 1: Bloomingdale's is having a sale right now that's like fifty
Speaker 1: percent off already marked down prices, and it's like, how
Speaker 1: do you not fall for that? And then I go
Speaker 1: and I'm looking at it. I'm just like, this isn't
Speaker 1: like something special for me, this is for everyone. This
Speaker 1: is yeah there, it's already so marked up. This is
Speaker 1: so stupid, you know what you know? When I I
Speaker 1: buy clothes when I don't feel good about myself, which
Speaker 1: is kind of what she's saying. When I'm like exercising
Speaker 1: and feeling like, I'm like, oh, I could look good
Speaker 1: in a regular plain T shirt. I don't need anything
Speaker 1: to make me feel like I look good. That in
Speaker 1: my mind, that's what happens with me. It's like when
Speaker 1: I'm more confident in myself and feeling you know, I
Speaker 1: don't know you buy things you need to dress up
Speaker 1: the fact that you're miserable. Yes, And so that's usually
Speaker 1: what happens with my brain. Like I remember I was
Speaker 1: in a store. I was like, I don't need a
Speaker 1: new pair of gene. I'm I look good in my
Speaker 1: jeans like the ones I already had. Like because I
Speaker 1: feel good about my buy things for sure to feel better.
Speaker 1: Like I definitely get in those streaks of like wanting
Speaker 1: to buy a lot of stuff, like buying like like
Speaker 1: I'm obsessed buying toys for Poppy and Harlow, like I
Speaker 1: just because it's for me. It's almost like um, stuff
Speaker 1: I didn't get as a child that I really wanted,
Speaker 1: or like just knowing how much it would lift my
Speaker 1: spirits as a kid, like getting toys as a kid.
Speaker 1: It's just it's like it was when you get that
Speaker 1: one like dollar bill to oh my god, when you
Speaker 1: get cash as a kid. I don't know if they
Speaker 1: even know what cash is now, but as a kid,
Speaker 1: when my grandpa he fucking a request give that money
Speaker 1: back that you lent them. Yeah, I definitely do retail therapy,
Speaker 1: And it's really embarrassing to admit that because I'm I
Speaker 1: feel like I am a savvy consumer, but you really
Speaker 1: can't outsmart. You're subconscious that these people know how to
Speaker 1: act and like all the things that they convince you.
Speaker 1: So take me through a step of like where are
Speaker 1: you seeing the are you seeing the ad on? Like?
Speaker 1: Where are you seeing these ads that get you? Um?
Speaker 1: Usually you're not on TikTok because that's a good one.
Speaker 1: They really Instagram. Um an add will come up where
Speaker 1: I go no. But usually it's it's things that I
Speaker 1: convinced myself when I seek them out and I find them,
Speaker 1: but they don't they make it me feel like I've
Speaker 1: found it. Really they found me. It's like we've been
Speaker 1: playing whole time. Yes, So The Strategist, New York Times,
Speaker 1: The Cut Magazine, The New York Times magazine has a
Speaker 1: blog called The Strategist, and it's about consumerism. It's like
Speaker 1: just people who like to buy things and like buying
Speaker 1: the best of something, which interests me because I want
Speaker 1: to buy quality things. But that's how New York Times.
Speaker 1: It's for smart people or just lay out really like
Speaker 1: really savvy, chic um good taste people like with good taste,
Speaker 1: people who are doing a lot of consumer reviews and
Speaker 1: like so it's always like, um, you know fashion designers
Speaker 1: favorite pair of jeans and it's like, Okay, well I
Speaker 1: gotta get these or so that. A lot of times
Speaker 1: I will go to the Strategists and I will look
Speaker 1: through that, or it'll be like, you know, Lily Reinhart's
Speaker 1: things she can't live Without, and I'm like, let me
Speaker 1: just see what she can't live without. That's why I
Speaker 1: have all these new like throat, cough, drop things is
Speaker 1: because um, there's like there's a Rob Thomas did like
Speaker 1: ten things I Can't live Without on The Strategist and
Speaker 1: one of them was these throats. Throats actually is off.
Speaker 1: Q has the ten Things I Can't live Without videos too,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, I look around, I snoop around
Speaker 1: those Yeah, it's like if they can't live without them,
Speaker 1: I can't live without them. But you know what, I
Speaker 1: guess that's better than almost like being like, oh I
Speaker 1: need thirty thou Red bottoms, Like there could be the
Speaker 1: other way. At least you're looking for deals to get
Speaker 1: like good things, and I'm looking now that I have money,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to spend a lot of money on things
Speaker 1: that will last me forever, Like I really would love
Speaker 1: to just not to get to a place. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to get to a place where I don't buy things,
Speaker 1: so I just want to buy stuff that yeah, jerky.
Speaker 1: I want all my shoes to be made of beef jerky.
Speaker 1: I went, I went to a golf place today and
Speaker 1: freeze right ice cream. And you know, I have these
Speaker 1: two putters that I don't use anymore that I can
Speaker 1: trade in, which six months ago I would have already
Speaker 1: traded in and I would have gotten new iron and
Speaker 1: I hit these irons and the old me would have
Speaker 1: bought them, and I'll go, I like like I can somehow.
Speaker 1: You know, you just do something so much that your
Speaker 1: brain just goes this isn't this is an impulse. At
Speaker 1: least you got to hit them, you don't need them.
Speaker 1: In a week, they'll just be regular irons and you're
Speaker 1: gonna want different. Like, yeah, you can already see it.
Speaker 1: It's so hard to in the moment. It's so hard. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mine is always impulsive. I never buy things. If
Speaker 1: I have a plan to buy something, it won't happen.
Speaker 1: If I'm like, I need to get a new car.
Speaker 1: I mean, I've been looking for a new car for
Speaker 1: two years. The thing you might have a new car
Speaker 1: if if you could have just like that, add to
Speaker 1: car by because it's for me, it's always compulsive and impulsive.
Speaker 1: So actually them taking so long, it's the reason why
Speaker 1: I don't have a car. It's a h reason I
Speaker 1: don't have a car because I just don't feel like sitting.
Speaker 1: I would have bought that car the other day, but
Speaker 1: I just did not. I would have a car right now.
Speaker 1: If it didn't take three hours, I would have many cars.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. They're just saving you. You would
Speaker 1: have your own jay Leno would have a lot more
Speaker 1: guitars if you, um, if I could, like, if guitars
Speaker 1: weren't so based on like once I get them in
Speaker 1: my hands, how they're going to feel. This all goes
Speaker 1: back to you. If you can't easily buy a gun,
Speaker 1: you probably want to get a gun as much. It's
Speaker 1: just like that fucking simple dude. You might think about
Speaker 1: things a little bit more. There might be more things
Speaker 1: that might intervene between you take three hours to get
Speaker 1: a gun. If it takes three hours to get a car,
Speaker 1: give me seven hours to get a gun. You have
Speaker 1: to sit in a room for seven hours. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: people go, you're going to come after? Point is like,
Speaker 1: you can't drink until you're twenty one. Why do you
Speaker 1: get to have a gun. Because you gotta look cool
Speaker 1: before you can't drink. You gotta saunter into that saloon.
Speaker 1: You know, a gun I want? I want that lighter gun.
Speaker 1: That's pretty cool. Oh yeah, god, it's just that's what
Speaker 1: seven hours, seven hours, seven hours. That is really funny.
Speaker 1: The way time should be as long as car dealer chefs. Yes,
Speaker 1: and you have to go through the whole process. They
Speaker 1: gotta sell you. They gotta be like, well, and then
Speaker 1: you gotta go through all the shitty jokes that they
Speaker 1: tell you. But no, you just go to Walmart. You go, hey,
Speaker 1: I'll take that a r fifteen that could kill three
Speaker 1: people in three seconds. There you. Ari has a story.
Speaker 1: Our friend Ari he uh he worked at um like
Speaker 1: uh sporting Did you read his story? He worked at Sporting.
Speaker 1: Good story story store story about a store. He this
Speaker 1: guy came up to him, asked for a fucking gun,
Speaker 1: and then when he went to grab the gun, the
Speaker 1: guy like went to grab it without putting his fingerprints
Speaker 1: on it and are He goes, I'm I can't. I can't.
Speaker 1: I can't sell this to a guy that doesn't want
Speaker 1: to grab it with his own hands. So then he
Speaker 1: goes to his supervisor. He goes, I don't feel comfortable,
Speaker 1: Supervisor felt. Supervisor goes, you go over to this section,
Speaker 1: and well, I take care of this customer because I
Speaker 1: want to make commission on this game. Dude, you don't
Speaker 1: give a fuck. People just don't give a fuck. It's
Speaker 1: all about making money. You can stand to make yourself
Speaker 1: feel better. It all comes full circle. Let's why do
Speaker 1: I care? What's the movie? Why do I care about? All? Right? No?
Speaker 1: Why do I care? So they don't care about the
Speaker 1: lost stuff. I've given up caring. But let's see if
Speaker 1: I care about this because I can see Maya Henry's
Speaker 1: belongings are still at ex Liam Paine's house as the
Speaker 1: singer goes public with new love, Aliana mala. Okay, so
Speaker 1: he had a baby, right, or she had a baby
Speaker 1: with him, right, I don't know what the one. I
Speaker 1: don't know any of the one direct I don't I
Speaker 1: don't think so they're very I mean there's I think Liam,
Speaker 1: it's the other one that Zane had a baby. Maybe
Speaker 1: Liam did feel like Liam had a baby with an
Speaker 1: older someone that's older, like nine years right right, right? Right? Yeah? Maybe?
Speaker 1: Well anyway, she's her things are still at his place.
Speaker 1: So her belongings are still at his at his place,
Speaker 1: A pal says, and um uh so basically her car
Speaker 1: and stuff is that the singer's house. This is such
Speaker 1: a blow for Maya. She's making arrangements to get her
Speaker 1: belongings out of his house so she can move on
Speaker 1: and forget they were ever together. Um. And I wanted
Speaker 1: to know, have you guys ever lost something in a
Speaker 1: breakup because you just didn't want to go pick it up?
Speaker 1: Just my heart? Well besides that, I've kept, you've kept, yeah,
Speaker 1: because it was just too much to get back. And
Speaker 1: I also thought that if I gave it back, the
Speaker 1: person would probably throw it away. And I actually want
Speaker 1: this thing, and it's tough for you with returns, maybe
Speaker 1: eighteen episodes. What if your ex boyfriend gave you a
Speaker 1: return late. That's a good idea. That's a business x
Speaker 1: X return labels. It's not a bad business. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: like that. That's hilarious. But did you not want to
Speaker 1: see him face to face and give it to him? No?
Speaker 1: I think it was just it was like a birthday
Speaker 1: present I had given him that I thought was really
Speaker 1: cool that he didn't like. And so right, I just
Speaker 1: sensed he didn't like care about as much as I
Speaker 1: thought it was cool. And I thought, if I give
Speaker 1: this to him, it'll probably remind him of me and
Speaker 1: he probably won't keep it. So I'm just gonna keep
Speaker 1: it because I like it was painting teking you in
Speaker 1: my living room and he sees it every time it
Speaker 1: comes over. But it's true, like I think that he
Speaker 1: just didn't like it that much. And like sometimes I
Speaker 1: do this, I buy guests for people and they and
Speaker 1: I think it's great, and I think they're gonna think
Speaker 1: it's great because I think it's so great. And then
Speaker 1: they don't those earrings you got me, Yeah, my parents
Speaker 1: to them. Maybe you need to get your earspers somewhere
Speaker 1: and have those, that's true. I could just repair some
Speaker 1: one that my dad said was infected with gay pretty much.
Speaker 1: But you know, you know he didn't say it was. Again,
Speaker 1: you never had any girlfriends that you've like exchanged stuff
Speaker 1: with though. Besides the oh god, gross fluid is also
Speaker 1: another word, mucus. Terrible word. I mean, who's tossing that
Speaker 1: word around? It's like, I don't think any It's not
Speaker 1: a word you hear a lot outside of sickness. Yeah,
Speaker 1: music next, that little bugger guy, Oh yeah, that's a
Speaker 1: good mascot. I like it. It definitely makes you want
Speaker 1: to buy the product. If I could get rid of
Speaker 1: that guy, if I can inconvenience that disgruntled overwork alcoholic
Speaker 1: booger in my nose like a pusive to his family,
Speaker 1: I'll get him out. I'm going to have victim. No.
Speaker 1: Mucas came up because Brenna was sick again and had
Speaker 1: mucu is coming out of her eyes. Mucus eyes brand eyes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know, No, that's an infection. Then mucus is
Speaker 1: in fact, she's on antibiotics, and I thought she got
Speaker 1: COVID again and two in a month. No COVI, just
Speaker 1: old school old Yeah, yeah, dude, remember those Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean sinus infection. Oh yeah, I used to get all
Speaker 1: the time. I was like chronics. I think I had
Speaker 1: a science I'm not kidding. Yellow and mine was always yellow,
Speaker 1: it was orange. Mine was Sienna burnt Sienna. And I'm like, dad,
Speaker 1: so I need help. Let's get to her Wednesday Wild
Speaker 1: Card segment. We're doing finish my sentence, but it's not
Speaker 1: finished my sentence. We're doing finish my where eats order.
Speaker 1: Uber Eats, of course, is the app that you can get,
Speaker 1: you know, stuff delivered from restaurants, but now they can
Speaker 1: deliver pretty much anything, pretty much anything, not actually anything,
Speaker 1: but you can get anything from the uber eats app
Speaker 1: within reason. So Andrew and I decided to uh do
Speaker 1: a little experiment where we try to finish each other's
Speaker 1: Uber Eats orders where we get things that are you know,
Speaker 1: like you can get stuff other than stuff at restaurants,
Speaker 1: Like I always thought Uber eats is just restaurants, but
Speaker 1: now you can get stuff from pharmacies, like the stuff
Speaker 1: that you need around the house, grocery items that you
Speaker 1: might need. So um, if you check out the uber
Speaker 1: eats app, you can see in your area what kind
Speaker 1: of stuff you can get, and it really is like
Speaker 1: almost just about anything that you need, household items, grocery
Speaker 1: items that you think, oh, uber eats doesn't have that
Speaker 1: they actually do. So check it out and you'll see
Speaker 1: what we got each other. So Andrew piduck grocery items
Speaker 1: for me because last time I did his grocery order
Speaker 1: and this time, um, I placed his pharmacy order. UM
Speaker 1: and got things for him from a pharmacy. He got
Speaker 1: things for me from a grocery store. And now we're
Speaker 1: going to go through each other's orders that we placed
Speaker 1: for each other, trying to get the order as correct
Speaker 1: as possible that each other would make if we were
Speaker 1: up to it on our own. And you yourself, just
Speaker 1: like me, and Andrew can order with the uber eats
Speaker 1: app today. All right, Andrew, you want to go through
Speaker 1: what you got me first, and yours was grocery items.
Speaker 1: I'm dying to know what you got me. I really
Speaker 1: hope you did a good job because I want I
Speaker 1: actually want things I'm going to use. Okay, but here's
Speaker 1: the thing. You're not easy to shop for, especially grocery wise.
Speaker 1: That's not true. I couldn't be more explicit about what
Speaker 1: I like. I'm I've been on the grocery app and
Speaker 1: there are many things on there that I liked that
Speaker 1: I didn't get for me because I wasn't able to
Speaker 1: place it because I was placing it for you last
Speaker 1: week store, same store. There were things on there that
Speaker 1: I go, God, I hope Andrew gets this for me. Eventually,
Speaker 1: I said. It is always just very hard me because
Speaker 1: I feel like, how can my friends ever think that
Speaker 1: I would need band aids three weeks after I bought them? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but your band aids again, the ones you got me
Speaker 1: were gigantic ones that you used to cover up a
Speaker 1: gunshot wound. Sorry ham trip, But like I need little ones. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you had that intruder just a few hours ago.
Speaker 1: That's a good point. All right, Well you're right, Okay,
Speaker 1: go on, I see you by the way. I do
Speaker 1: you know he doesn't see you this grocery store. All right.
Speaker 1: I got you your favorite bubbly water. I got you
Speaker 1: Seltzer water from a place in Texas that you really like. Ok.
Speaker 1: I like that of those and big daddy ones. Okay,
Speaker 1: like I got you your favorite. I know you don't
Speaker 1: make coffee at home, but in case you do eventually,
Speaker 1: or if you want more and they're not putting enough,
Speaker 1: and that's always a good thing that like you if
Speaker 1: you have one of those coffee makers with the pods.
Speaker 1: I got you in milk. Oh, you got me almond
Speaker 1: milk to put in Okay, great, now is it? Well?
Speaker 1: Let me how many how much sugar is in this
Speaker 1: almond milk? You can keep it? Go on? There wasn't
Speaker 1: zero gram. I'm guessing there probably was. Here's the thing
Speaker 1: to a quarter of it? That's true. No, no, no no, no,
Speaker 1: I'll actually use that. I'll use that. But it's a
Speaker 1: it's a little still seen I'm seeing man. Okay, you're
Speaker 1: not a huge gackhead anymore. No, but I will. I'll
Speaker 1: get back into walk. I need, you know what, I
Speaker 1: need a gateway walk to get me back into it
Speaker 1: because I forget. Sometimes you forget how much you love
Speaker 1: a food. And that's one I'm actually craving right now.
Speaker 1: A rice cake. People think I eat rice cakes because
Speaker 1: it's like it's anorect sic food. I love the consistency
Speaker 1: of a rice cake. I love how you know we
Speaker 1: talked about peanutver and jelly sandwich. Is the bottom of
Speaker 1: your lunch bag? How they absorbed the peanutter and jelly.
Speaker 1: I like that a rice cake absorb. I just love
Speaker 1: the consistency. So I will put clacamole on a rice
Speaker 1: cake immediately. Okay, I got you your favorite protein bars?
Speaker 1: Oh really? Are they ones that don't have any dairy
Speaker 1: in them? Yes? Based on the name, Okay, yes, love it?
Speaker 1: And is it is the flavor possibly something that I'll
Speaker 1: be celebrating next week? They didn't have that? Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: still I like all those flavors a lot, and they
Speaker 1: just I know the bar you're talking about. They recently
Speaker 1: READID the chemistry of it. So it's a lot, like
Speaker 1: not a lot. So many? How many grams? What? Six?
Speaker 1: How much? I don't know. They're like two grams. I
Speaker 1: think that those bars have like two grams total sugar,
Speaker 1: but total carbs. I don't give to talk about carbs.
Speaker 1: Maybe let's go back on this almond milk. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: talking about sugar my in oh five sometimes the Net.
Speaker 1: It's a great documentary about a guy that I don't.
Speaker 1: I think the whole carb graze is just so stupid.
Speaker 1: And I know that people are gonna write to me me
Speaker 1: and be like, Nikki, your comments about sugar are really
Speaker 1: triggering me today. You know what they trigger me to.
Speaker 1: I'm just being honest with myself. Sugar is something that
Speaker 1: I get obsessed with and I don't like a lot
Speaker 1: of it because I don't bost my teeth enough. And
Speaker 1: also carbs. I don't give a funk about carbs. The nets.
Speaker 1: There's net sugar, so I learned about I want to
Speaker 1: talk about. Oh, they used the fibers to subtract. I
Speaker 1: learned about fibers of nets. Fibers and nets, which is
Speaker 1: a new movie coming out from Okay. Is that is
Speaker 1: that what you got for me? Is there one more thing?
Speaker 1: One more thing? And this is I think really seen.
Speaker 1: I feel like you don't have this enough around the house. O. God?
Speaker 1: Is it pepper? It is the condiment. It's a seasoning blend,
Speaker 1: which I just love a seasoning blend. What kind of
Speaker 1: seasoning are we talking about? You don't want to give
Speaker 1: a you know, a brand name, but you can say
Speaker 1: what kind it is? Like a mixture. I don't know
Speaker 1: what's in here? We'll just tell Okay, oh she's married.
Speaker 1: The woman that made this, this this blend is married.
Speaker 1: She is married, but you know what she could leave
Speaker 1: in any second? Oh yeah, okay, what's it you got onions?
Speaker 1: How much sodium are we talking in this thing? What
Speaker 1: percentage of my daily sero? Really? Herbs? It's hers? Oh?
Speaker 1: I love it, I love You're just changing my life, Andrew,
Speaker 1: good job you did. Okay, let me get to yours.
Speaker 1: I know what you got me. You got me my anus. Okay,
Speaker 1: well I know it is this week earlier this week
Speaker 1: that you had your hair was a little bit fluffier
Speaker 1: and poofier in the front. And you had told me
Speaker 1: that you used a gel correct a paste, A paste? No, no, no, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm styling cream, a styling cream. And I thought, you
Speaker 1: know what would maybe work better for him is a
Speaker 1: styling moose. So you got you a curl moose. Then
Speaker 1: a moose people who don't wear moose anymore, Yeah, moose
Speaker 1: is a very popular thing for curls. Um And then
Speaker 1: I got you, um, so you told us about the
Speaker 1: tale that's coming out? Yeah, yeah, so I got you
Speaker 1: medicated wipes that hemorroidal wipes with Witch Hazel their maximum
Speaker 1: strength formula. They're flushable, they're cooling, soothing, gentle soft, they're
Speaker 1: individually wrapped for convenience, and they're easy to use for
Speaker 1: hemroidal and vaginal care. So you know Brenna can use
Speaker 1: to use. Well, um, yeah, don't do that. That sounds great.
Speaker 1: I love those. I love those. Yeah, so that'll feel good.
Speaker 1: You can just keep those in your wallet next to
Speaker 1: condoms or whatever. I guess you don't use. Then I
Speaker 1: got you. Um, I know you love Oh. I got
Speaker 1: you this thing. I don't think I've ever heard you
Speaker 1: really try this. But if you ever have sleep problems,
Speaker 1: especially on the road, if you're having trouble getting to sleep,
Speaker 1: I got you melatonin in a very low dose, the
Speaker 1: lowest jose I've ever seen. And they're gummies so that
Speaker 1: your boy, your boy will eat well. This will keep
Speaker 1: you from meeting them because you will fall sleep you
Speaker 1: eat things. So then I also got you. Um, this
Speaker 1: is cool. I like putting moose on a little asshole. Jo.
Speaker 1: This one you're gonna like now. Um. This is for
Speaker 1: when you go up to the golf course or you're
Speaker 1: ever outside. It's very masculine, but it is. Do you
Speaker 1: wear a SPF on your face? Need to so good
Speaker 1: that you do? I got you thing that is for
Speaker 1: it's it's like branded for men. It's kind of like
Speaker 1: it's UM seventy plus SPF UM. It won't cause your
Speaker 1: pores resist sweat off an oxybend zone free. It's water
Speaker 1: resistant for eighty minutes, and it is for it's for sports,
Speaker 1: and it's number one dermatologists recommended. I didn't know either,
Speaker 1: remember putting on like fifteen as a kid. So and
Speaker 1: then I also got direct to skin heat wraps. These
Speaker 1: are powerful pain They're hot therapy to ease away the
Speaker 1: pain plus deep muscle relaxation. And I'm keeping these because
Speaker 1: I never got by heating pad, so I got myself
Speaker 1: these and it was a lot cheaper than the heating bad.
Speaker 1: By the way, this was, this was a fraction of
Speaker 1: the I almost bought myself eating bad, but it would
Speaker 1: have cut into your supplies too much, so I got
Speaker 1: these for myself. What's SPF stand for? That's when you
Speaker 1: get that, Charlie both Yes, when you get a hair
Speaker 1: in your mouth, you um son protection forever. I just
Speaker 1: want to know how to break it down. I just
Speaker 1: don't know what. Oh, you know what it is. I
Speaker 1: think it's the minutes it lasts. It says, Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like that's the amount. It's like, if you would
Speaker 1: burn in three minutes, this will make you burn seventy
Speaker 1: times that like, you can go seventy times three for
Speaker 1: the amount of time that you won't burn. It's some
Speaker 1: protection factor. Okay, So isn't it like whatever the number is,
Speaker 1: it's that you can times the amount of time it
Speaker 1: would take you to get burnt, Like, you'll get burnt
Speaker 1: seventy times. What do you do? What I'm saying? No?
Speaker 1: What is she saying? So it's eifen even one minute,
Speaker 1: if you get burnt, this will make it go to
Speaker 1: fifteen minutes, it'll take you to bird, So fifteen times
Speaker 1: the amount of time, God, seventy minutes. You could probably
Speaker 1: not it could be wrong, but that's if you get
Speaker 1: burn in one minute, if it takes you fifteen minutes
Speaker 1: to get it's seventy times fifteen minutes. Seventy times the
Speaker 1: amount of makes sense. Yeah, so it's got to be thick.
Speaker 1: Are you excited about any of the items I got
Speaker 1: in your I'm excited to put that on my nose
Speaker 1: and act like, you know, an old lifeguard. Well, let's
Speaker 1: not zinc. It's going to rub in. Do you want
Speaker 1: to try it now? Do you want me to give
Speaker 1: you a little bit, Yeah, put a little on there.
Speaker 1: I'm going out in the sun. There you go, rub it,
Speaker 1: rub it all over this. It is not going to
Speaker 1: clog your voice. I think Brenna will be appreciated, like
Speaker 1: will like it because it's you know, um perfect. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and this heat wrap. I'm so excited to get this going.
Speaker 1: My period is until no stay away. He's practicing being
Speaker 1: a lifeguard away hundred yards away from the pier. They're fishing.
Speaker 1: They're fishing. I know you want a boogieboard. That's where
Speaker 1: the waves are. But I'm sorry, seriously, no, rub it
Speaker 1: all in, Andrew, rub it all in, get away. I
Speaker 1: always wanted to be that guy. And then they get
Speaker 1: angrier and angrier. Yes, I watched last night. I watched
Speaker 1: um So. By the way, anyone can use the Uber
Speaker 1: eats app, so make sure you try out getting just
Speaker 1: random grocery items, things that you need from the pharmacy.
Speaker 1: Just you know, any of the stuff that we just
Speaker 1: ordered you can get right away to your door, your
Speaker 1: front door, so much faster than making a whole trip
Speaker 1: of it. Because sometimes you just need one or two things.
Speaker 1: You don't want to make a whole grocery store trip
Speaker 1: because then you go and you end up spending so
Speaker 1: much more money than you would if you just got
Speaker 1: someone to go get it for you. You don't have
Speaker 1: to leave. Treat yourself. Try the uber eas app today.
Speaker 1: Final thought, Um, last night, are you watching Love on
Speaker 1: the Spectrum? The USA USA, the U S Edition? It's
Speaker 1: really really good. God, I love that show so much.
Speaker 1: It's sweet, it's everything that this, um you know the
Speaker 1: other episodes where yeah, um, I was also watching the
Speaker 1: new Ricky Gervais special. What do you think I didn't
Speaker 1: watch enough of it? Yeah, but so so I went
Speaker 1: from jackass, Okay, I want to hear someone actually talking.
Speaker 1: I just put who actually wrote yeah, And then I
Speaker 1: was like, I don't want that either. I don't know
Speaker 1: what I want. And then I put on Ricky Gervas fan.
Speaker 1: I'm a fanish of him. He comes off a little
Speaker 1: pompous to me, but I obviously appreciate his work. Um
Speaker 1: what you call it? And then I put on Letterman
Speaker 1: interviewing someone, and I hated that I couldn't find anything
Speaker 1: that like, oh yeah, for the this is my next
Speaker 1: guest or was Cardi B And it was just like
Speaker 1: it was I'm very uncomfortable watching a Letterman right now.
Speaker 1: I just I don't like when people come out of
Speaker 1: retirement to do things. I'm just like, go relax. Like
Speaker 1: it makes me sad because it makes me realize that
Speaker 1: like because I project, and I think that someday I'm
Speaker 1: going to want to quit, and then I'll quit doing
Speaker 1: whatever I'm doing, and like I just finally have time
Speaker 1: to hang out with my family and leisure time, and
Speaker 1: I'm going to want to keep working and I'm not
Speaker 1: going to really have the same like Gusto that I
Speaker 1: had before. There's just something I just want Letterman to
Speaker 1: just go. But your celebrity status, right like, I think
Speaker 1: you're fusing what's up? What's up? I just know that
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be running on any wet surfaces
Speaker 1: if you're around, I'm scared to get yelled at. Look
Speaker 1: it's not I just want the best for what's on
Speaker 1: the beach. I'm not like somebody. I do not relate
Speaker 1: a lifeguard do being on the beach. I related them
Speaker 1: to being at a pool. Rusty was a lifeguard my
Speaker 1: ex business partner. Wait, what's the thing that you're going
Speaker 1: to say about David Letterman and my celebrity status. You
Speaker 1: said he interviews like what you considered the A of
Speaker 1: the A list, and that kind of annoys me, Like,
Speaker 1: and I'm not even close to like that world to think.
Speaker 1: You know, I've had dreams of Letterman interviewing you where
Speaker 1: he came to my house. Wait, that's what was your dream? Yeah,
Speaker 1: he came to me. That wasn't even a show yet.
Speaker 1: He was only still doing his studio. When when you
Speaker 1: were dreaming of him coming to Wyoming, are you in Wyoming?
Speaker 1: I've never even heard you say that word. I already
Speaker 1: retired and I was living on a pasture. I already
Speaker 1: made enough money. Letterman still alive when you're retired? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I hit a big fantasies making no fucking sense. What's
Speaker 1: that one movie? Um? Hangover? Okay, but go on, So
Speaker 1: I was kind of that realm. You know, what's his name?
Speaker 1: Alf GalF Nakis lives off the Grid? Okay? Oh oh,
Speaker 1: I was not his character in the movie. Know him now? Okay?
Speaker 1: I pictured myself as a Bill Murray ish, I'll come back.
Speaker 1: Letterman still had his late night show that you would
Speaker 1: fantasize about him interviewing you, and it wouldn't even be
Speaker 1: in his studio, would be on your farm in Wyoming,
Speaker 1: which wasn't the thing that Letterman wasn't doing, like house call, No,
Speaker 1: not yet. Okay, So whoever annoys you because you are you,
Speaker 1: you think I will never be able to be interviewed
Speaker 1: by him that and it just comes off very like elitist, elitist,
Speaker 1: And that's the same thing that I don't like. Elitist
Speaker 1: is um and it's someone Letterman supposed to be a
Speaker 1: man of the people that just like it's like funny
Speaker 1: and like doesn't take celebrity too seriously. That was the
Speaker 1: whole thing, that was his whole thing. Now he's worshiping
Speaker 1: Cardie and Billie Eilish, no offense to them their extraordinary talents.
Speaker 1: But like, I just don't buy he's never he's a comedian,
Speaker 1: He's not an interviewer. Letterman was never someone that was
Speaker 1: like getting the truth out of people, like I want
Speaker 1: to see Katie Kuric interview someone I would see Meredith
Speaker 1: Beer I want to see you know, I don't even
Speaker 1: know like Brian ed Bradley, but David Letterman, he's supposed
Speaker 1: to do comedy. Why is he going to the words?
Speaker 1: Exactly how I feel? And then I go, you know what, though,
Speaker 1: it goes back to him going to Wyoming, him going
Speaker 1: to them. He's losing all his power. He had power
Speaker 1: when he had the show, he had the desk. You
Speaker 1: had to impress him. Now he's trying to impress something.
Speaker 1: I feel like he has dropped a little bit of that,
Speaker 1: like ego, and so he's a little bit more like
Speaker 1: receptive to like getting to know people and being interested
Speaker 1: in them as opposed to like in Yes, that's the problem,
Speaker 1: but guess who isn't who isn't innested in a lists?
Speaker 1: It brings us back to everything like everyone wants money,
Speaker 1: everyone wants fame. That's everyone I know. But I just
Speaker 1: I I have trouble getting caught. And I'm excited though,
Speaker 1: because he interviewed my friend Robin Tran, she's transgender comedian
Speaker 1: for that Netflix Is a Joke Festival, and did an
Speaker 1: interview with Robin, and Robin is by no means an
Speaker 1: a list or, and I thought that that's gonna be cool.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to see that rose. But got interviewed
Speaker 1: by letter. It was like a stand up showcase kind
Speaker 1: of thing. Oh my god, Oh right, okay, well that's
Speaker 1: gonna be so good. Um, but Ricky Gervais is special. Um.
Speaker 1: He comes out of the gate and like, I know
Speaker 1: that he would say no, I would. I would know
Speaker 1: that he would say, like, take a joke like this
Speaker 1: is why there are no funny female comics, because they
Speaker 1: all He comes out of the gates saying there are
Speaker 1: no funny women, and he makes he doubles down on
Speaker 1: the joke so many times even though he says, now
Speaker 1: that's funny because it's obviously I'm saying something that isn't true,
Speaker 1: that many funny women, like um, eddie is it? And
Speaker 1: then he got like he goes on to keep saying
Speaker 1: women aren't funny, And yes, I don't. I don't think
Speaker 1: Break Eat Your Rays really thinks that women aren't funny
Speaker 1: and that there aren't funny women. But I do believe
Speaker 1: that him saying that makes people who are dumb think
Speaker 1: that they're on funny one. And then that who really
Speaker 1: gives a ship If I get to be successful but
Speaker 1: it does affect Yeah, and there's truth inside. They're they're laughing.
Speaker 1: He's saying we noticed a joke, but I would say
Speaker 1: audiences like, yeah, there aren't funny women. All Right, we
Speaker 1: gotta go. You gotta sink on your nose. This is
Speaker 1: the end of the shows and it's been a good run.
Speaker 1: We got one more to do tomorrow. Um, things are
Speaker 1: won't be filled so much with sorrow, but they probably
Speaker 1: will because it's gonna keep happening. Nothing's gonna change. And
Speaker 1: it's not because I don't care. I do care a lot.
Speaker 1: You should watch the Carlon documentary to get the reference
Speaker 1: that Andrew made before. Um, this rap is uninspired, but
Speaker 1: I'm starting to perspire because it's not going well. And
Speaker 1: that's what happens when I start to bomb, I start
Speaker 1: to sweat, I start to feel wet, I start to
Speaker 1: regret starting this rap. And to take it from here,
Speaker 1: it's really becoming spoken word is like I'm just too tired.
Speaker 1: I'll break it. I'll bring it up. Come on, bring
Speaker 1: it up. Man. Yo, you might want to back up
Speaker 1: a little bit because I'm about to spit. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: spit far like my fucking hemorrhoid tail. I'll fucking put
Speaker 1: zincon because I never fail. If you're getting close to
Speaker 1: the pier, you better stay away because it ain't happening here.
Speaker 1: I'll take a crab out of the sand. I'll have
Speaker 1: a claw your nuts. I'll put it on jackass and
Speaker 1: say Johnny knocked the road it with his fucking pen. Yeah, good,
Speaker 1: have you stepped it? You gotta go. We love one more.
Speaker 1: Start tomorrow. It's round out the week. Can't wait to
Speaker 1: see you. Then, thank you so much for listening to
Speaker 1: the show. Trying to uber eats app Uh, don't be
Speaker 1: right that I did. He did, He did for me