1
00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,120
Speaker 1: Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebina, a space where no

2
00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:07,360
Speaker 1: question is off limits and storylines become lifelines. The views

3
00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:10,400
Speaker 1: shared by our guests are meant to inform, entertain, and empower.

4
00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:14,080
Speaker 1: From the laughs to the lessons, Just remember tough times

5
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:18,079
Speaker 1: don't last, but professional homegirls do enjoy the show.

6
00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:31,840
Speaker 2: This episode contains sensitive topics. Listener discretion is advice. What's

7
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:36,680
Speaker 2: our professional homegirls? It is shagarra Ebine here and I

8
00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:38,800
Speaker 2: hope all is cute.

9
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:39,280
Speaker 3: Now.

10
00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:42,240
Speaker 2: I know y'all are feening for part two. Okay, y'all

11
00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:46,239
Speaker 2: been calling me, y'all been emailing me, dming me, texting me,

12
00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:48,519
Speaker 2: like all of the above. Okay, so before we.

13
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,159
Speaker 4: Start a part two, let's do a little key cute.

14
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:52,640
Speaker 4: Let me update you on a couple of things.

15
00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:52,960
Speaker 3: Okay.

16
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,040
Speaker 2: So, if I haven't told y'all this already, and if

17
00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:59,000
Speaker 2: I haven't, my apologies because your girl been working like

18
00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:01,240
Speaker 2: a two dollar home and I'm not gonna plain it

19
00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:03,640
Speaker 2: because this is the things that I definitely been praying for.

20
00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:04,000
Speaker 4: Okay.

21
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:07,399
Speaker 2: So I am hosting an event called Sisters on the

22
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:12,400
Speaker 2: Vineyard on August twelfth at Marthus Vineyard, and Baby, I

23
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:16,480
Speaker 2: am beyond excited Okay. You know, one of my prayers

24
00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:19,840
Speaker 2: lately has been for God to send me opportunities that

25
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,319
Speaker 2: truly aligned with his vision for me, and this is

26
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:26,119
Speaker 2: definitely one of them. Plus there's gonna be a lot

27
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,600
Speaker 2: of important people there, so you know, one thing I'm

28
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:30,600
Speaker 2: gonna do, baby, the step is gonna step. And I

29
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:32,920
Speaker 2: would definitely keep y'all posted on how it goes. But

30
00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:35,360
Speaker 2: I'm really, really really excited about this, and I'm not

31
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,520
Speaker 2: even nervous, Like I feel really good about this, Like

32
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:40,560
Speaker 2: I know I'm walking in my purpose because it feels

33
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:45,000
Speaker 2: so good, y'all. And if you never heard of Marthus Vineyard,

34
00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,880
Speaker 2: you know, it's this beautiful island off the coast of

35
00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:51,880
Speaker 2: Massachusetts and it's known for it as beautiful town. It's

36
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:56,840
Speaker 2: stunning beaches, and it's just a favorite getaway spot for celebrities,

37
00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:59,120
Speaker 2: politicians and you know, books with some coins who just

38
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:02,640
Speaker 2: want to relax, but an upscale vive. Like to me,

39
00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:05,040
Speaker 2: I feel like it's like the Black Hamptons but better. Okay,

40
00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,360
Speaker 2: and listen, I even wanted to go to Marx's vineon

41
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:11,000
Speaker 2: for a thousand years. I've always heard about Marcus Vineyard

42
00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:14,400
Speaker 2: because you know, we knew Yorkers, but I really got

43
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,400
Speaker 2: engulfed in it when I was reading Sunny Houstin's book,

44
00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:20,799
Speaker 2: Somemmer on the Bluff, y'all, when I tell you, this

45
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:23,040
Speaker 2: book is so good, like I have to get the

46
00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:25,799
Speaker 2: next two because it's a trilogy, but it was so good.

47
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:29,359
Speaker 2: And even though it's a fiction book, she talks about

48
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,760
Speaker 2: real places to visit if you ever go to the vineyard.

49
00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,400
Speaker 2: So I'm super excited to make my lists out and

50
00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:38,920
Speaker 2: to definitely go. And so I'm just like, oh hey, y'all,

51
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,680
Speaker 2: my outfits, Oh my god, Like I feel like it's

52
00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:43,440
Speaker 2: the first day of school, and I got all my

53
00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,080
Speaker 2: stuff laid out the night before, Like I got even

54
00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:49,080
Speaker 2: matching panties and brawls to go with my outfice.

55
00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:52,799
Speaker 4: Like I'm that excited, y'all. So like I.

56
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:56,440
Speaker 2: Cannot wait, okay, And I got my fresh bus down,

57
00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:58,120
Speaker 2: I got my manny and petty.

58
00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:00,799
Speaker 4: You know, I got a face and oh my god.

59
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,720
Speaker 2: They may give you all a secret if you want

60
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,440
Speaker 2: your skin, if you want your makeup to look like

61
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,400
Speaker 2: skin when you get a facial, get Demmer plane in, y'all.

62
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:14,320
Speaker 2: Like Denmer Planning would definitely like make a big difference

63
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,520
Speaker 2: in how your makeup look and pretty much what dermer

64
00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:18,200
Speaker 2: plane is. And I do not recommend that you do

65
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:21,200
Speaker 2: this at home. Go to someone that is a license professional.

66
00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:24,720
Speaker 2: But pretty much they use like a scalpel and they

67
00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:28,840
Speaker 2: like shave off your the hair off your face. And

68
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,720
Speaker 2: I'm a very hairy person, so I can tell when

69
00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:34,160
Speaker 2: there's a lot of hair on my face because my

70
00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,000
Speaker 2: makeup doesn't sit right, and I know how to beat

71
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,080
Speaker 2: my face down right, and I use only the best

72
00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:40,000
Speaker 2: products for this face because this is my money maker.

73
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:43,680
Speaker 2: So once my guy ap preest, he got my face together, like,

74
00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:45,720
Speaker 2: oh my god, like my skin felt so good.

75
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,760
Speaker 4: Right, But I'm gonna tell y'all how.

76
00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:51,720
Speaker 2: God be looking out for his favorite daughter, because I

77
00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:54,480
Speaker 2: had my facial at four and I was like, oh,

78
00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:56,200
Speaker 2: you know what, let me just go get my face.

79
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:56,800
Speaker 4: You're done.

80
00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,800
Speaker 2: And then afterwards, I gotta go to the print shop

81
00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:00,680
Speaker 2: because you know, I'm I want to be putting like

82
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:03,960
Speaker 2: thank you cards inside of each of the each of

83
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,640
Speaker 2: the attendees bags, and I'm like, I need to get

84
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:10,040
Speaker 2: this done today because I'm literally like running around all

85
00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,800
Speaker 2: the way up into the trip, right, and so I'm like,

86
00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,000
Speaker 2: let me just go to the print shop. And also

87
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:16,680
Speaker 2: we not only do I need to go to print

88
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,680
Speaker 2: shop for that, but we're also prepared for the Professional

89
00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:21,920
Speaker 2: Homegirl coloring book series, both volumes three and four, which

90
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:24,200
Speaker 2: I would keep you posting on that. So I'm just like,

91
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:25,560
Speaker 2: I just had like a lot of stuff to do,

92
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,760
Speaker 2: like y'all when I tell you, I've been going to

93
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,960
Speaker 2: bed almost every night at one or two o'clock in

94
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,400
Speaker 2: the morning, either working on this website. I had like

95
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:37,240
Speaker 2: a family emergency. I also had were working on these

96
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:40,239
Speaker 2: coloring books. Like it's just so many moving pieces I got,

97
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:44,480
Speaker 2: And even though I'm like exhausted, I'm still like, I'm

98
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,800
Speaker 2: really excited because I just cannot wait for you all

99
00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:49,840
Speaker 2: to see Wester com in the next couple of months,

100
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,440
Speaker 2: Like when I tell you we Indo twenty twenty six

101
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:54,200
Speaker 2: for a fucking bang word to my mother.

102
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:58,200
Speaker 4: Okay, but AnyWho. So I get to the Prince Shop

103
00:04:58,200 --> 00:04:59,479
Speaker 4: around five fifty.

104
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:00,880
Speaker 2: And I don't know, I just got the press shop

105
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:03,440
Speaker 2: closed at eight, like it's a weekend, right, but I

106
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,040
Speaker 2: got verified figures was to open the door. I saw

107
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,840
Speaker 2: it at the close at six, so I was like,

108
00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:09,480
Speaker 2: oh shit, I'm gonna have to lay it on this

109
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,920
Speaker 2: niggas because I see a nigga sit down. So I said,

110
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,120
Speaker 2: come in, I can see his face and he like,

111
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:17,039
Speaker 2: here we go with this bitch. So we both got

112
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,159
Speaker 2: these faces on and I was like, you know what,

113
00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:21,839
Speaker 2: I'm gonna killing with kindness because if it's one thing

114
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:24,920
Speaker 2: I can guarantee you if you always leave with your

115
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,479
Speaker 2: heart and not with your ego, nine times, I tend

116
00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:29,080
Speaker 2: things are gonna work in your favorite.

117
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:30,919
Speaker 4: So I was like, hey, how you doing?

118
00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:34,279
Speaker 2: And then he hit me back with what So I said, Hey,

119
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,880
Speaker 2: how you doing and he was like I'm good.

120
00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:38,320
Speaker 4: I said, oh okay.

121
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:40,400
Speaker 2: So you know, I told him like, hey, I need

122
00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:42,880
Speaker 2: one hundred and twenty five copies on nice paper and

123
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,159
Speaker 2: y'all the way he looked at me like I know,

124
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:46,240
Speaker 2: you fucking lie.

125
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:48,880
Speaker 4: But I kept asleep.

126
00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:49,359
Speaker 5: You know.

127
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,200
Speaker 2: I was like, you know, I have a really big

128
00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:53,720
Speaker 2: event that I'm hosting is at the Vineyard. He didn't

129
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,400
Speaker 2: know what the vineyard was, so I explained to him,

130
00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:57,520
Speaker 2: you know, is it really big place with black the

131
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,520
Speaker 2: rich people, black rich people like I'm super excited opportunity

132
00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:00,640
Speaker 2: for me.

133
00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:02,679
Speaker 4: I didn't need this paper prints tonight, So what's my option.

134
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,159
Speaker 2: So he was like, well, you we closing it like

135
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,840
Speaker 2: eight minutes, like you should have came or put the

136
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:07,760
Speaker 2: order in online.

137
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,159
Speaker 4: And I was like, I need have no time. I

138
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,080
Speaker 4: have to go get a face show.

139
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,080
Speaker 2: I have to do this, like I'm really being a girl, right,

140
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:14,440
Speaker 2: but I'm also like laying on him thick, and I'm

141
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:17,320
Speaker 2: also like poutent, like just being a girl. And so

142
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:20,080
Speaker 2: I was like, well, like what can I do? Like

143
00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:22,000
Speaker 2: it's there another place that can go to, like a stables.

144
00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:24,080
Speaker 2: So he looked at me and I was like, oh,

145
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,200
Speaker 2: Moncey gave me that look I have him. So he

146
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:29,160
Speaker 2: was like, well, you know, if you you should have

147
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,200
Speaker 2: came earlier because it's gonna take thirty minutes for the

148
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,880
Speaker 2: print of the warm up and then if I give

149
00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:35,279
Speaker 2: you the price now, it's gonna be a lot of money.

150
00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:36,599
Speaker 4: So I'm like, how much money could it be?

151
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,480
Speaker 2: Just need one hundred and twenty five papers and it's

152
00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:41,080
Speaker 2: in black and white, right, And so he was like, well,

153
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:43,360
Speaker 2: it's gonna be two hundred dollars. Not granted I didn't

154
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:44,840
Speaker 2: want to spend no fucking two hundred dollars, but I

155
00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:47,719
Speaker 2: really need these papers to be printed out right, and

156
00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,040
Speaker 2: I could have did it at home, but I don't

157
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,040
Speaker 2: have any nice paper at home, and it's my fault

158
00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,160
Speaker 2: because I could have just went to Amazon and ordered

159
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,960
Speaker 2: some shit, but I just don't have time. Right, everybody

160
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:59,880
Speaker 2: can't be Beyonce. So I was like, what two hundred dollars?

161
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,839
Speaker 2: So I'm thinking, I'm just like, fuck it. It is

162
00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,680
Speaker 2: what it is. So right before I was about to

163
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,679
Speaker 2: pull the trigger and I could say anything else, he said,

164
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:10,280
Speaker 2: you know what I said. What he was like, give

165
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:14,040
Speaker 2: me forty dollars, and I got you, baby the way

166
00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:15,640
Speaker 2: I hit that cash ap so fast.

167
00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,840
Speaker 4: So shout out to that young man, okay.

168
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,200
Speaker 2: And no I ain't saying his name, and no I'm

169
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,680
Speaker 2: not gonna say what he work at because I don't

170
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:27,080
Speaker 2: condone that. Okay, However, I do believe in entrepreneurship, So

171
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:28,720
Speaker 2: young man, do what you gotta do. Just make sure

172
00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:31,240
Speaker 2: you read the room, okay. So I cannot wait to

173
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:33,200
Speaker 2: provide y'all with a recap. Please make sure you follow

174
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,920
Speaker 2: me at the Professional Homegirl and at Pretty Private Podcast

175
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:38,480
Speaker 2: so y'all can see what is going on while I'm

176
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,920
Speaker 2: there in real time. But I'm super super excited about

177
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,840
Speaker 2: this opportunity, So shout out to sisters on them vineyard.

178
00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:46,760
Speaker 4: Now let's get into part two.

179
00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:49,240
Speaker 2: So my guess we're gonna pick up right where we

180
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,840
Speaker 2: left off that and she's gonna share when she had.

181
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,720
Speaker 4: Her first drink, which was crazy, y'all.

182
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:56,240
Speaker 2: And how she found herself in the world of shripping. Yeah,

183
00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:59,040
Speaker 2: she was a whole shrip of y'all. And then also,

184
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:02,000
Speaker 2: you know, end this conversation and we don't talk about

185
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,800
Speaker 2: her journey towards sobriety, and just like, I'm really really

186
00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,160
Speaker 2: super proud of her, y'all. You know, we definitely talked

187
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:10,080
Speaker 2: about the moments that shaped her decisions, the highs and

188
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:13,360
Speaker 2: the lows that came with this lifestyle, with her also

189
00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:17,240
Speaker 2: being arrested numerous times, which we was laughing because it

190
00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:20,640
Speaker 2: was like girl, but there's also just the turning points

191
00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:22,160
Speaker 2: that made her realize that.

192
00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:24,040
Speaker 4: She wanted something different for her life.

193
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:26,120
Speaker 2: So I really do hope that you all enjoyed this

194
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:30,640
Speaker 2: conversation and get ready, because alcohol almost killed me.

195
00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:34,480
Speaker 4: Part two starts. Now, take us back to the moment

196
00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:36,760
Speaker 4: when you had your first drink, Like, where were you,

197
00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:38,640
Speaker 4: who were you with? How old were you?

198
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:41,200
Speaker 2: So let me just say this too, because I know

199
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,319
Speaker 2: you mentioned. I know you mentioned that you used to

200
00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:45,840
Speaker 2: hang out with your homegirl because her mom owned the store.

201
00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:46,760
Speaker 3: Her grandma.

202
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:48,959
Speaker 6: Yeah, but that wasn't where I have a first drink.

203
00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,480
Speaker 6: I have my first drink with a family member.

204
00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:52,560
Speaker 3: And let me just say this.

205
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:57,920
Speaker 6: I that first like the beauty of the first drink

206
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:02,200
Speaker 6: or that first drink was. It was a mixed drink

207
00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:06,120
Speaker 6: with an uncle in Florida. It was a Long Island

208
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:07,960
Speaker 6: and I was about fourteen.

209
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,280
Speaker 4: Oh Long Island at fourteen.

210
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:12,600
Speaker 6: Wait, hold on, let me finish, Let me finish, because

211
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:13,400
Speaker 6: I know you're gonna have a question.

212
00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:13,680
Speaker 3: Listen.

213
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,920
Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, no, I'll have a question. I have a statement.

214
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,800
Speaker 2: A fourteen year old drinking a Long Island is fucking

215
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,280
Speaker 2: crazy because I can't even drink it.

216
00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:23,040
Speaker 3: Off. First off, didn't drink the whole thing.

217
00:09:25,559 --> 00:09:28,240
Speaker 6: Listen, listen, my uncle, listen, because we're not gonna do

218
00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:29,000
Speaker 6: Uncle Jake like that.

219
00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:30,280
Speaker 4: No, no, no, I'm not saying.

220
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,520
Speaker 2: I'm just saying that for that to be your first

221
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,559
Speaker 2: choice of drink, like as an almost pushing forty woman,

222
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,360
Speaker 2: a Long Island is very.

223
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:39,880
Speaker 3: It's a lot st That's what Uncle Jake was that's

224
00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:40,520
Speaker 3: what I'm saying.

225
00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:43,079
Speaker 4: So to get into a fourteen year old, it's fucking crazy.

226
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:46,680
Speaker 3: Was different every day.

227
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:49,760
Speaker 2: The drink is still to drink, sirs, because I'm the

228
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,959
Speaker 2: when I was a kid, I mean, of course you

229
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,720
Speaker 2: used to drink with your family members, because I remember

230
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:55,199
Speaker 2: wh I school, my friend's house, my one of my

231
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:57,280
Speaker 2: childhood best friend's house, and they used to get us

232
00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:59,000
Speaker 2: drinks all the time. We used think it was funny

233
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,200
Speaker 2: this and that we'll have cool, we'll spike it, all

234
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,760
Speaker 2: this other stuff. So, but a Long Island iced tea

235
00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:05,440
Speaker 2: is crazy.

236
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,360
Speaker 6: But let me tell you how it went. He offered

237
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,719
Speaker 6: me a sip. I took a sip, didn't like it.

238
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:14,560
Speaker 6: That was it like, it wasn't it was no, It

239
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,960
Speaker 6: wasn't one of those things where it was like like

240
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,440
Speaker 6: I sat in stories and I've heard how people first

241
00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:22,120
Speaker 6: drink was the one that did it was like right,

242
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:25,800
Speaker 6: it's like that was just the intro. But again, because

243
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:28,800
Speaker 6: the taste was off, like the setting was off.

244
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,400
Speaker 3: It was just like, that's not that really.

245
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:32,920
Speaker 6: Was like because we were in town for a wedding,

246
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:34,840
Speaker 6: so just be honest, I didn't even really know my

247
00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:35,439
Speaker 6: uncle like that.

248
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,520
Speaker 3: It's like I drank a little bit of it. I'm like,

249
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:38,199
Speaker 3: I'm good.

250
00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:39,880
Speaker 6: At that point in time, I had just got in

251
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,160
Speaker 6: a cell phone. I was more concerned with calling my

252
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,760
Speaker 6: friend back home and just gossiping about spring break.

253
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:51,120
Speaker 3: So but anyway, with Sydney and I, you know, started

254
00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:51,880
Speaker 3: hanging out.

255
00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:53,199
Speaker 4: And who is Sidney?

256
00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:56,199
Speaker 3: Sidney was the girl whose grandmother on the package.

257
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:58,640
Speaker 6: But again, like I said, at that point in time,

258
00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:01,520
Speaker 6: alcohol was just a big I'm more so like to

259
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,800
Speaker 6: have it around so I could use it. So one

260
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:07,520
Speaker 6: thing I've learned, excuse me, in life and just with addiction.

261
00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:11,800
Speaker 6: Addiction and vices are too things like they will make

262
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,920
Speaker 6: people go like if I know your vices, I know

263
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:16,439
Speaker 6: how to get you up, I know how to get

264
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:16,760
Speaker 6: you down.

265
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,040
Speaker 3: I know how to make you come close, I know

266
00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:19,040
Speaker 3: how to make you stay away.

267
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:22,400
Speaker 6: So it's be like, oh man, like they like to drink,

268
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:25,640
Speaker 6: like I'm have like I should have this around, and

269
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:28,360
Speaker 6: I should have this around turned into like oh yeah,

270
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:31,280
Speaker 6: I'm taking shots, and then with me making different career

271
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,720
Speaker 6: choices to be you know, in adult entertainment. Just things

272
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:36,920
Speaker 6: like this, like the drinking didn't pick up then, but

273
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:41,960
Speaker 6: I was always in these like adult alcoholic settings, and

274
00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:44,120
Speaker 6: so it was like I always was kind of like comfortable.

275
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,880
Speaker 3: It's like people around me drink.

276
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:50,080
Speaker 6: Whatever the case may be, untol and I say, until

277
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:50,800
Speaker 6: it was like.

278
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,560
Speaker 3: My trauma started catching up to me.

279
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:59,680
Speaker 6: It was like, you know, for me being in a

280
00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:03,000
Speaker 6: relaylationship with someone and like I'm gonna.

281
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:03,400
Speaker 3: Just keep it real.

282
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,560
Speaker 6: You know, you hear about people talking about being raised

283
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,959
Speaker 6: on love and being raised on survival. There's no feeling

284
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:12,280
Speaker 6: like realizing you've been raised on survival when you're in

285
00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:16,240
Speaker 6: a relationship with someone that's been raised off love. Yeah,

286
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:19,520
Speaker 6: because it's like we're gonna come. We we operate two

287
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:24,600
Speaker 6: very very different ways. Like for instance, you know, it's

288
00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:26,720
Speaker 6: just so many different things going Like it's just so

289
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:30,120
Speaker 6: many different things going on, and it's like, you know,

290
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:33,200
Speaker 6: I remember in that relationship was when like I said,

291
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,880
Speaker 6: I was with another alcoholic So it was like the

292
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:39,720
Speaker 6: celebratory reasons, and like every time he would get off work,

293
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,600
Speaker 6: it would be like he would always have a bottle,

294
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:44,640
Speaker 6: always have a bottle. I always have And I remember

295
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:47,440
Speaker 6: like when it seemed like one bottle wasn't enough, so

296
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,640
Speaker 6: he would grab two bottles and I'm talking like I'm

297
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:52,320
Speaker 6: talking about straight liquor, like we're taking shots, like we

298
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,400
Speaker 6: are not taking no mixed drinks. And like the craziest

299
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,480
Speaker 6: thing was we used to have a friend. He used

300
00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:59,920
Speaker 6: to irritate me because it was like he used to

301
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,800
Speaker 6: drink like us, to the point where it was like, oh,

302
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,800
Speaker 6: we got to hide the bottle because like you, he'd

303
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,000
Speaker 6: like he'd be like, don't worry, I make my own drink,

304
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,520
Speaker 6: and it'd be like, no, no, that's not what that means.

305
00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:14,000
Speaker 4: What's up, y'all?

306
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:16,839
Speaker 2: It's Shagara ebn a here, and be sure to follow

307
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:21,120
Speaker 2: me on Instagram and TikTok at pretty private podcasts, and

308
00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:24,120
Speaker 2: don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel at the

309
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:28,400
Speaker 2: Professional Homegirl. Now let's get back to the show. So wait,

310
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:30,440
Speaker 2: so would you say during this period time because I

311
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,920
Speaker 2: do want to fast forward to where we're at now

312
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,199
Speaker 2: in this journey, But what you say during this time

313
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,920
Speaker 2: this is when everything intensified because at this time you

314
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,240
Speaker 2: moved to Atlanta and now you're working at the strip club.

315
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:44,920
Speaker 6: Right, So yeah, yeah, so we've kind of jumped forward

316
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,920
Speaker 6: but jumped back. So I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna

317
00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:49,199
Speaker 6: tell you this, or I guess I would say this.

318
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,080
Speaker 6: What ended up happening to me was it was like

319
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:55,000
Speaker 6: I was drinking like I would drink over a lot

320
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:58,600
Speaker 6: of traumatic stuff, like for essence, I think you've heard

321
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:02,440
Speaker 6: my previous interviewer I speak about having an abortion and uh,

322
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:06,760
Speaker 6: excuse me, excuse me when I was when I was assaulted,

323
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:09,480
Speaker 6: because it kind of kind of just all goes, wait.

324
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:11,679
Speaker 2: Let's go, let's let's go ahead, let's move back. Then,

325
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,200
Speaker 2: So how did you get introduce to the Shrip club?

326
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:14,360
Speaker 6: Then?

327
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:17,720
Speaker 3: So I got introduced to dancing through a dead end job.

328
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:21,000
Speaker 6: I was working at this place in North Carolina called

329
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:21,920
Speaker 6: Marketplace Small.

330
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:23,600
Speaker 3: These girls came in.

331
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:25,520
Speaker 6: It was kind of like, it's so funny because at

332
00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:27,840
Speaker 6: the time I had never seen Players Club, but it

333
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:29,720
Speaker 6: was kind of like that, like they came in, they

334
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,400
Speaker 6: were in a world of they own and they're just like, yo, like.

335
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:34,200
Speaker 3: We work at the club down the street.

336
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:36,320
Speaker 6: You know, if you're trying to get money, have a

337
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:39,760
Speaker 6: good time, get out of doing this, come, I'll let us.

338
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:43,800
Speaker 6: And I'm like, oh, I know, yeah. And it was honestly,

339
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:45,880
Speaker 6: I feel like it was the best and the worst

340
00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:49,720
Speaker 6: thing that could have happened, because again, you know, started dancing.

341
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,160
Speaker 3: It was going great.

342
00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:57,360
Speaker 6: Unfortunately got assaulted right and that was like, you know that.

343
00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:59,480
Speaker 6: I feel like that was one of those things when

344
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:03,440
Speaker 6: it happened, and I feel like if things would I'm

345
00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:06,880
Speaker 6: just I never know, like I only know what I know.

346
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,520
Speaker 6: So long story short, I feel like the worst part

347
00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:12,920
Speaker 6: of my thought was just really feeling like I never

348
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,880
Speaker 6: I didn't have anybody like when I needed them the most,

349
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:21,000
Speaker 6: meaning like, so after I'm at the hospital, rape kid

350
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:24,600
Speaker 6: just been done, and I called my mom and I'm like, hey,

351
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,240
Speaker 6: you know, something really bad happened last night.

352
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:28,880
Speaker 3: I was raped.

353
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,080
Speaker 4: She and at this time did she know you was

354
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:31,760
Speaker 4: working at the club?

355
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:36,200
Speaker 3: I think she just like I had moved out at

356
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:37,640
Speaker 3: this time. I don't know. I don't know if you

357
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,360
Speaker 3: knew exactly what was going on.

358
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,440
Speaker 6: I was living and I was still in North Carolina,

359
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,360
Speaker 6: wasn't at home, so it was just kind of like vague, Okay.

360
00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:46,480
Speaker 6: So I was just like, I'm like, hey, you know,

361
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,880
Speaker 6: I was just raped. I'm like, is there anybody you

362
00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:51,000
Speaker 6: can come pick me up from the hospital? And my

363
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,200
Speaker 6: mom pretty much told me, She's like, I'm at work,

364
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:58,520
Speaker 6: you don't have to call somebody else. Wow, And I

365
00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:03,680
Speaker 6: feel like you know, oh ible, our first day meeting.

366
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:07,240
Speaker 3: But it's like I've never gotten an apology for that.

367
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:11,400
Speaker 3: I've never gotten anything other than what, other than like

368
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,480
Speaker 3: I was at work and I just I couldn't go

369
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:15,240
Speaker 3: in and ask.

370
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:19,480
Speaker 6: And it's like like I've heard so many different.

371
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:22,680
Speaker 3: Rationalizations of that answer.

372
00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:26,360
Speaker 6: And for me being a working individual like me being

373
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:29,040
Speaker 6: in food, like food is my passion and to me,

374
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:33,320
Speaker 6: there's no way I could align myself or my personal

375
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,960
Speaker 6: values with an employer that wouldn't allow me to go

376
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,200
Speaker 6: see by my child, like.

377
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:40,280
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, like like like especially if

378
00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:42,000
Speaker 2: my child has told me that they have.

379
00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:50,560
Speaker 5: Been rape like this, Yeah, I don't think any employer

380
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:53,240
Speaker 5: would be like no, you're still to stay like no, girl,

381
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,440
Speaker 5: go take care of your baby.

382
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,880
Speaker 6: And then it would be like you would want like

383
00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:58,800
Speaker 6: I just just always had me to be like and

384
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,640
Speaker 6: you would want to work for them, like you would

385
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:04,480
Speaker 6: be comfortable like like this, like that's how you get

386
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:06,240
Speaker 6: down like cause because to me, it's just like I

387
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:10,919
Speaker 6: couldn't even look like what it So it would be

388
00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:14,720
Speaker 6: like for me, I could have a really rough day

389
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:16,480
Speaker 6: and I would think about that.

390
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:18,720
Speaker 3: Situation and it would be like my addiction would be

391
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:19,119
Speaker 3: talking to me.

392
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:23,240
Speaker 6: Like, damn, bitch, your own mom didn'ty want come get you?

393
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:27,840
Speaker 3: You got rape shit, pull up, you deserve it. And

394
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:30,840
Speaker 3: it would be like those types of tapes and that

395
00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:33,800
Speaker 3: type of mentality and just like, man, I never got

396
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,760
Speaker 3: an apology for this, Like man, like you know, just

397
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:38,800
Speaker 3: those will be those type of things.

398
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,880
Speaker 4: And I feel likediction would just start talking to you.

399
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:44,720
Speaker 3: Crazy and again, you know, not.

400
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:51,520
Speaker 6: Having a therapist, not getting treatment, and then self medicating

401
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:55,640
Speaker 6: with alcohol and drugs and it blurring the line because

402
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,560
Speaker 6: it's like you know, sometimes you know, you start out drinking,

403
00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:00,800
Speaker 6: you know, you start feeling good and then you know,

404
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:02,760
Speaker 6: you hear a song and it just takes.

405
00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:04,720
Speaker 3: You all the way back and then you know, and.

406
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:07,400
Speaker 6: It's like, you know, you're starting to lose your validity

407
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:10,720
Speaker 6: because you're you're leaning on these exterior crutches that are

408
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:13,920
Speaker 6: really really bad. And you know, again, like I told you,

409
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,480
Speaker 6: people will see you going down the drain.

410
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,320
Speaker 3: And because if.

411
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,680
Speaker 6: I decided to talk to you about your alcoholism is

412
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:24,040
Speaker 6: going to turn a mirror around on me, I might

413
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:27,720
Speaker 6: not just say anything because it's like and that's that's

414
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:28,080
Speaker 6: the boat.

415
00:18:28,119 --> 00:18:29,280
Speaker 3: A lot of people find themselves in.

416
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:30,840
Speaker 6: They'd be like, well, I was gonna say something, but

417
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,879
Speaker 6: you know, I know I'd be drinking too, and so

418
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:36,080
Speaker 6: and it's like, so did.

419
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,760
Speaker 4: You have to find out who was sauce at you? Like,

420
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,240
Speaker 4: did they ever? Cause this happened after you left work,

421
00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:41,520
Speaker 4: right from.

422
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:45,600
Speaker 3: This happened in like a long time ago. They were prosecuted,

423
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:46,440
Speaker 3: they went to jail.

424
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:49,720
Speaker 4: Oh so you didn't find out Okay, good? Did you

425
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:50,120
Speaker 4: know them?

426
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:51,119
Speaker 6: No?

427
00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:51,840
Speaker 3: Thank god?

428
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:55,840
Speaker 6: Oh wow, No, I didn't know them, And you know, fortunately,

429
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,560
Speaker 6: like that was a lie. And it was one of

430
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,440
Speaker 6: those things where it's like I kind of sometimes wish

431
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:05,200
Speaker 6: like that would have been the thing where I was like,

432
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,280
Speaker 6: you know what, I've been through a lot. I should

433
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,240
Speaker 6: go to somebody's treatment center. I should check in, I

434
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,680
Speaker 6: should hill. But I was like, shit, made it.

435
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:15,399
Speaker 2: Out alive, trying to go to Atlanta, like right, right, right,

436
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,879
Speaker 2: So talk about the transition to Atlanta, because this is

437
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,840
Speaker 2: when you met the guy who was also an alcoholic

438
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:24,000
Speaker 2: and he was abusive towards you. That was actually a

439
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:27,840
Speaker 2: different person, but he would they I've dealt with a

440
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:31,800
Speaker 2: lot of alcoholics. Yeah, So I came to Atlanta and

441
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,919
Speaker 2: one of the reasons I came to Atlanta was because

442
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,440
Speaker 2: my best friend at the time she was living down here,

443
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:41,080
Speaker 2: and like, for lack of better terms to me, because

444
00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:44,560
Speaker 2: mom was amazing, Like ms Pam was a mom, Like

445
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:46,680
Speaker 2: she was really nice. Like I just remember there would

446
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:48,639
Speaker 2: be times where like my head would be in her

447
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,879
Speaker 2: lap and she'd be like braiding my hair and like

448
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,120
Speaker 2: we'd be watching something on TV.

449
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,960
Speaker 3: Like it would never even be anything like that cool,

450
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:59,919
Speaker 3: but like she just had the time. Like I remember like.

451
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,280
Speaker 6: And this and this is gonna just to show the

452
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,240
Speaker 6: difference in like the homes and the life style. I

453
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:08,800
Speaker 6: remember when I had was living with Tamika and like

454
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:12,200
Speaker 6: when I had met this guy that I was getting

455
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,600
Speaker 6: ready in this relationship with and being like I remember

456
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:15,639
Speaker 6: coming home and being like, yo.

457
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:17,000
Speaker 3: I met this dude when get ready to go out,

458
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,000
Speaker 3: and her mom was like, no, you're.

459
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,199
Speaker 6: Not, Like he can either come over and meet this

460
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,400
Speaker 6: family or I don't know what.

461
00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:24,680
Speaker 3: To tell you, but like I don't.

462
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:26,720
Speaker 6: She's like, You're not just gonna be going with somebody.

463
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:28,480
Speaker 6: He could be Jack the Ripper, he could be anything.

464
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:32,560
Speaker 6: And I just remember her being like ms Pam, I

465
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:36,399
Speaker 6: get what you're saying, but like what's it's like. I

466
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:39,000
Speaker 6: just always think back to that relationship being like missus Pam, like,

467
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:40,920
Speaker 6: what's the worst that could happen?

468
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,920
Speaker 3: Nay, ask me why I got these braces on?

469
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:46,600
Speaker 5: Girl?

470
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,800
Speaker 4: Why you got them braces on?

471
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,639
Speaker 6: Because when I was in a domestic when I was

472
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:56,560
Speaker 6: in a relationship with that person, they knocked out one two,

473
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,439
Speaker 6: I lost two teeth, and I'm getting ready to get

474
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,560
Speaker 6: an implant put in. But before you get your implant

475
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,160
Speaker 6: put in, they got to make sure your teeth are straight.

476
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:05,880
Speaker 6: So I had to get these braces before the implant.

477
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:11,600
Speaker 6: So to say that relationship was rocky would be an understatement.

478
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 6: And I feel like from the shame and just everything

479
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:20,280
Speaker 6: that came out of that, it only made the addiction

480
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,720
Speaker 6: like that much stronger because I remember I remember looking

481
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:25,879
Speaker 6: at myself one time and just being like damn, like,

482
00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:30,080
Speaker 6: how do we get here and just be a little

483
00:21:30,119 --> 00:21:33,840
Speaker 6: more transparent? This person was involved on like the wrong

484
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:35,959
Speaker 6: side of the lass, So you know, I was finding

485
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:42,080
Speaker 6: myself in just different things, doing different things, and you know,

486
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:44,880
Speaker 6: just dealing with the guilt and the shame of all

487
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 6: of that.

488
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:49,520
Speaker 3: So it was just like a really really dark dark time.

489
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:51,280
Speaker 6: Like it was just like I just looked back on

490
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:54,000
Speaker 6: those times it was just like bad because it would

491
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:57,679
Speaker 6: be like even like all like just being honest with you,

492
00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:03,879
Speaker 6: like the bows, the shopping, the restaurants, like there's I

493
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,359
Speaker 6: feel like there's no feeling like going to some place

494
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,240
Speaker 6: you liked and wondering if they can tell you have

495
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:08,920
Speaker 6: a black eye.

496
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:12,080
Speaker 4: M So what would you say you you got to

497
00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:13,119
Speaker 4: your rock bottom moment?

498
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,680
Speaker 2: Like what encouraged you? I know you said that earlier.

499
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:17,720
Speaker 2: Your friend was the one who said that.

500
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,200
Speaker 4: You know that was your rock bottom moment.

501
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:25,359
Speaker 6: So my bottom again was Jarvis coming to me being

502
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:30,359
Speaker 6: like I think you're talented, I think you're special, but

503
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 6: I think you also have a drinking problem. Like I

504
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,840
Speaker 6: think it's something where if you do not take a

505
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:38,160
Speaker 6: hold of this is said to take you, like it's.

506
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:38,800
Speaker 3: Gonna take you out.

507
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:40,760
Speaker 6: And it took somebody really saying that to me, and

508
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:43,600
Speaker 6: I'm just like, I'm like, Jarvis, last night was crazy,

509
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 6: but ain't no need no PSA.

510
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:47,679
Speaker 3: He's like, I take my mom in the rehab. He

511
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,000
Speaker 3: was like either I can help you or you can

512
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:51,880
Speaker 3: help yourself on but he's like I can't.

513
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 6: I can't have this in my life, like I can't

514
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,960
Speaker 6: even do this, and I'm thinking, like, I can't lose you,

515
00:22:57,080 --> 00:23:00,359
Speaker 6: like I love your food, You're such an inspiration, Like

516
00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:03,919
Speaker 6: what's going on, And I'm just like, you know, I

517
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:05,600
Speaker 6: made a deal myself. I was like, you know what

518
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,719
Speaker 6: worst case scenario we'll get. I'm like, we'll give them

519
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,520
Speaker 6: thirty days. Thirty days, I'll sit it down, whatever case

520
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,480
Speaker 6: may be, and I will.

521
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:15,359
Speaker 3: Come back better than ever.

522
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:19,720
Speaker 6: I had a whole game plan, and luckily for me, y'all,

523
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:23,480
Speaker 6: like day five of being in Detox, you know, someone

524
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 6: spoke at at AA meeting in Detox, and what she

525
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,320
Speaker 6: said really really touched me, because I feel like sometimes

526
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:33,520
Speaker 6: when you're in those in those places, you're ready for

527
00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:35,560
Speaker 6: somebody to jump down and give you like the third

528
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:38,120
Speaker 6: degree and tell you like how you've been fing up

529
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:39,960
Speaker 6: and like you know what I'm saying, like da da

530
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:40,560
Speaker 6: da da dad.

531
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:44,239
Speaker 3: But she actually spinned it around. But I remember one

532
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:46,639
Speaker 3: of the things she had said that was so so

533
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:48,960
Speaker 3: impactful to me there.

534
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:52,600
Speaker 6: She was like, if y'all take nothing with you now,

535
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,479
Speaker 6: I want you to know that you guys are some

536
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,159
Speaker 6: of the most resourceful people in Atlanta. And I remember

537
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:58,720
Speaker 6: looking at her being like what you mean was source.

538
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:02,040
Speaker 6: She was like, she was like, don't you know these

539
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 6: are the same. She's like, I already know what type

540
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,320
Speaker 6: of people y'all are. Y'all would wake up, broke, make up,

541
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 6: a couple of phone calls, You getting ready to go,

542
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,399
Speaker 6: make it the deposit, like you're gonna have the cash.

543
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:13,439
Speaker 3: Like you guys are doers. You are dreamers. Like you

544
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:17,800
Speaker 3: are beyond resourceful, like you make water come out of rocks,

545
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:19,119
Speaker 3: you move the room.

546
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 6: You're a shape shifter, like you change things. And it

547
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 6: was like it hit me. It was like, oh my gosh,

548
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,240
Speaker 6: I damn. And she's like, she's like, the only thing

549
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:31,199
Speaker 6: is you've just been applying your addiction in the wrong method.

550
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:32,639
Speaker 3: And I was like damn.

551
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:36,199
Speaker 6: She's like, imagine if you took this same tenacity, this

552
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:39,000
Speaker 6: same mania and applied it to your success.

553
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:42,000
Speaker 3: And I was like damn. She's like, you wouldn't even

554
00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:42,440
Speaker 3: be here.

555
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:46,000
Speaker 6: And it was like I started thinking like, oh my gosh,

556
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:47,120
Speaker 6: like I really wouldn't.

557
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:51,439
Speaker 3: Like sometimes it's like that's really what she what it takes.

558
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 6: And I also really credit like the last time I

559
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:56,680
Speaker 6: went to jail, like there was this officer in there

560
00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 6: and she like just being honest with you every day.

561
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 6: Every time I ever got locked up, I always ended

562
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:03,480
Speaker 6: up having to get put in like the little like

563
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:04,120
Speaker 6: the cel to.

564
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 7: So seven times come on now. But anyway, right.

565
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,800
Speaker 3: The last time I was locked up, you know, she

566
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:17,480
Speaker 3: walked over.

567
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 6: She was like, I was like, what what do you want?

568
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:23,359
Speaker 6: She was like, let me ask you something. She's like,

569
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 6: what are you doing here?

570
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:26,159
Speaker 3: I said, what do you mean when I'm locked up?

571
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:28,600
Speaker 3: He said no. She was like, I can look at

572
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:31,439
Speaker 3: you and tell you cut from a different cloth. She's like,

573
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:34,080
Speaker 3: what are you doing in here? What are you running from?

574
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:36,840
Speaker 6: She's like, I don't know what you're calling, what your

575
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 6: ministry is, but you're playing with God and yourself.

576
00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 3: She was like tight, she was like.

577
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:41,760
Speaker 7: Tighten up.

578
00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:45,960
Speaker 6: She was like don't, don't, don't. She's like you better

579
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 6: than that, Like that's all she kept saying. And it

580
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,440
Speaker 6: was like at that point in time, like I knew,

581
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:51,640
Speaker 6: Like I knew, I'm like.

582
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:54,719
Speaker 3: What am I doing? What is going on?

583
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 6: And I feel like sometimes you got to get to

584
00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,680
Speaker 6: those positions, and I just feel like, for me personally,

585
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:05,359
Speaker 6: I'm blessed that in both of those times when I

586
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:06,760
Speaker 6: feel like the Lord spoke to me.

587
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:08,959
Speaker 3: One. I feel like it was motivational.

588
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:11,760
Speaker 6: Between the second time, it was like it was like

589
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:14,440
Speaker 6: a wake up call because I'm like, it's just like.

590
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 3: How you ask me how many times have you been

591
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:16,639
Speaker 3: to jail?

592
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:19,880
Speaker 6: They started to get started to get very very frequent,

593
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:22,639
Speaker 6: and like one thing people don't realize about, like sometimes

594
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:26,600
Speaker 6: going to jail, like a lot can happen between holding

595
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:28,000
Speaker 6: and you going upstairs.

596
00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:30,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, meaning like.

597
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 6: Something like extra charges, Like you just see everything going on.

598
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,879
Speaker 4: So wait, we almost finished with your story. But what

599
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 4: you've been in jail for?

600
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 3: Let me tell you what I've been drinking. Then disorderly conducts.

601
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:49,640
Speaker 3: The batteries boom boom boom, Like they started coming real real, real,

602
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 3: real quick. Also, when I had been involved in.

603
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:57,920
Speaker 6: A previous relationship, I just had some other little runnings

604
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:01,320
Speaker 6: with the laws. So like I said, disortedly conducts, they

605
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:04,160
Speaker 6: getting the disortedly conducts battery?

606
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 3: What was another? What was another one? Because I had

607
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 3: a lot of stuff, Like I had so.

608
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,760
Speaker 6: Much stuff expunge and so many people a little programmed.

609
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:15,919
Speaker 3: I had a couple of weed charges. Yeah, that's what

610
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:19,120
Speaker 3: it was. Two weeks matter. It's funny because I was just.

611
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 6: Thinking I saw them cancel bonnar Roue a couple of

612
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:24,960
Speaker 6: days ago, and like, I remember I got it erected

613
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:27,639
Speaker 6: on the way to bonnar Roue, Like this is the

614
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 6: last time I say is I always? I had a

615
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:31,960
Speaker 6: joke when I was an active addiction, like, what are

616
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:34,480
Speaker 6: the four worst words you could ever say out a

617
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 6: first stake?

618
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 3: I'm out on bond? Like I never get it.

619
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:42,359
Speaker 6: Like I was on a first day and we had

620
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:44,600
Speaker 6: got pulled over and he was like, why are you

621
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:45,919
Speaker 6: looking like that. I was like, I'm gonna just let

622
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:47,280
Speaker 6: you know I'm out on bond. He was like, what

623
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:48,800
Speaker 6: does that mean? I was like, I just got out

624
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 6: of jail.

625
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:50,880
Speaker 3: He was like, what.

626
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:52,879
Speaker 1: That funny?

627
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:54,920
Speaker 6: Because the cop was like I was just telling y'all

628
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 6: to turn your lights on, and he's rollbops and he

629
00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:58,600
Speaker 6: was like, what you get out of jail for?

630
00:27:58,680 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 3: I was like, take me home.

631
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 6: So here we are.

632
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 2: You have been sober for six years now, yes, So

633
00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 2: what would you say has been the hardest part of

634
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:15,080
Speaker 2: your journey towards sobriety.

635
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:22,680
Speaker 3: The hardest part is the people that I just knew.

636
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:27,440
Speaker 6: I knew they were gonna be standing there. I knew

637
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 6: they would be cheering for me. Evan, they are gone.

638
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:35,960
Speaker 3: The way I thought my life.

639
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 6: Would look is completely different. And what I say, completely different,

640
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 6: It is amazing. If you had told me I would

641
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 6: be owning two vehicles, having an apartment, an amazing job

642
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:48,880
Speaker 6: in my own.

643
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 3: Business, I'll be like what.

644
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 6: But if you also told me I would get sober

645
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 6: and through sobriety, I would realize my self worth and

646
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 6: really demand higher from everyone in my circle, and when

647
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 6: they didn't give it to me, a boundary had to

648
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 6: be put in place.

649
00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:07,400
Speaker 3: I would look at you and be like, how does

650
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:08,000
Speaker 3: that happen?

651
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 6: And for me it was like I really really really

652
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:18,560
Speaker 6: really wanted that relationship with my mom to work so

653
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:23,520
Speaker 6: much so that I've you know, went up for like

654
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 6: mediation through treatment, Like We've had a lot of just

655
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:31,120
Speaker 6: different incredible opportunities broad to us, and every single time

656
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:33,800
Speaker 6: my mom has been like, you know, I definitely want

657
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:35,120
Speaker 6: to see but I don't want to see you in

658
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:38,160
Speaker 6: front of a doctor, so like I just you know,

659
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 6: And it's been very very.

660
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:47,600
Speaker 3: Heartbreaking because.

661
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 6: I feel like one of my greatest accomplishments by someone

662
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:56,320
Speaker 6: who was very very important in my life has not

663
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 6: even been seen.

664
00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 3: And it hurts all the time.

665
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 6: However, the people that guy has placed along my journey

666
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:10,720
Speaker 6: and place.

667
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:17,280
Speaker 3: Life have been so incredible, have been so amazing, Like.

668
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 6: My sponsor, Like, just to be honest, just to be

669
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 6: transparent with you, about my third year sober, when I

670
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,400
Speaker 6: was really coming into money, I was getting ready to

671
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:32,440
Speaker 6: go work the Masters, but before that, I wanted to

672
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:35,040
Speaker 6: go and visit my mom because I had seen her

673
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:39,360
Speaker 6: sober and never seen her sober. And you know, I

674
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 6: remember my mom she was just like, you know, she's

675
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 6: really frustrated with just some decisions I've been making and

676
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:45,480
Speaker 6: just other things.

677
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 3: And out of frustration she told me, she was like

678
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 3: I really tried.

679
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,760
Speaker 6: Hard, you know, with you know, with you and with

680
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,040
Speaker 6: what I wanted you to be, and you know it

681
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 6: seems like you don't want that, so you know what,

682
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 6: just to stay out of my life.

683
00:30:58,200 --> 00:30:58,920
Speaker 4: Oh wow.

684
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:05,080
Speaker 6: And I remember being like, oh my god, what am

685
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 6: I gonna do like this, Like no, I got sober,

686
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:14,560
Speaker 6: Like I've done so much work, like you never even

687
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 6: came to see me in red.

688
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 3: I'm like all these things were happening, and.

689
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,880
Speaker 6: Like I called my sponsor because I'm like, I don't

690
00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 6: know what I'm gonna do.

691
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 3: Like what's gonna happen like and my sponsor assured me.

692
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 6: She was like, I'm gonna hold your hand and I'm

693
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 6: gonna walk with you inch by inch through that pain.

694
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:38,000
Speaker 6: And she's like, and I will look in your eyes

695
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,760
Speaker 6: and I promise you this. You don't never have to

696
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 6: put no drink on top of that shit if you

697
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:42,959
Speaker 6: don't want to.

698
00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 3: And I'm sorry I got cursed.

699
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:47,440
Speaker 6: But that's just that's exactly how she meant it, and

700
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,400
Speaker 6: that's exactly what she said. I will hold your hand

701
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 6: through all of this pain and you won't ever have

702
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:54,480
Speaker 6: to put an alcohol als of alcohol on top of this.

703
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:59,440
Speaker 6: And to me, being a person in long term recovery,

704
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 6: that means more than any of those Oh I wish

705
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 6: I could take every pain away, any of them quotes,

706
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,440
Speaker 6: any of that baby, I will take that all day,

707
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 6: because what that means for me is that even.

708
00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 8: Though it's gonna be tough, even though these feelings gonna

709
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 8: be sticky, it's gonna be nasty, like, You're gonna be

710
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,960
Speaker 8: there and we're gonna get through this positively, and we

711
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 8: don't have to put no type of substance on top

712
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 8: of this.

713
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 6: When we come out on the other side, like we're

714
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 6: gonna come out on the other side.

715
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:27,520
Speaker 3: And like my.

716
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 6: Sponsor has been there with me day in and day out.

717
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:34,200
Speaker 6: And I tell people like, that's just being honest with you.

718
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 6: That's some of the reallys shit I ever heard. Like

719
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:40,280
Speaker 6: that's more real than any of that street stuff or

720
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:44,320
Speaker 6: this or any any of that.

721
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:45,200
Speaker 3: You know what I mean.

722
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:48,160
Speaker 2: So and God would give you exactly what you need

723
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:50,240
Speaker 2: because I always feel like a lot of times like

724
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 2: I don't have a lot of support from any family members.

725
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:54,880
Speaker 2: And the one person I did she's no longer here.

726
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 2: But I sometimes I used to be like I used

727
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 2: to feel so alone and just lonely, but now here

728
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:02,320
Speaker 2: I am and I'm like, wow, Like, guy has really

729
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:04,240
Speaker 2: blessed me with some amazing people in my.

730
00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 4: Life that are not my family.

731
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:09,840
Speaker 6: Yeah, and I've really had to just kind of like

732
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 6: lean on that, and you know, for just a long story,

733
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:17,960
Speaker 6: not long story short, but like someone in my importance

734
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 6: and my family, my circle that means a lot to me.

735
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:23,720
Speaker 6: When I was one of my amazing jobs I got

736
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 6: when I got out of treatment, I was working at

737
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:29,680
Speaker 6: four Seasons and unfortunately my coworker passed like passed away,

738
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:33,320
Speaker 6: and you know, not al ways say the beauty of that,

739
00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 6: but like I've spent so much time with his family,

740
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:39,760
Speaker 6: like we celebrate Christmas together, holidays.

741
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:40,680
Speaker 4: Said, I think that's amazing.

742
00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 6: We've been to you know, the Atlanta United soccer game

743
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 6: and just recently, you know, I was expressing to her

744
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 6: because again, like my sobriety is super important and it's

745
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:58,440
Speaker 6: just being honest. Sometimes it's like when you get to

746
00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:01,640
Speaker 6: different milestones, it's like you have like a celebration in

747
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:04,440
Speaker 6: AA and so I asked her. I was like, I

748
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:06,360
Speaker 6: was like, I know, you know, you're not my family

749
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:08,319
Speaker 6: or anything, but I would really mean a lot to

750
00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 6: be if you would give me my six year chip

751
00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:12,719
Speaker 6: and you know, kind of excuse me.

752
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:15,120
Speaker 3: His mother wrote me back and she's like, Laura, we

753
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:17,360
Speaker 3: look at you as family. I would be honored to

754
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:20,879
Speaker 3: do that. You know, I appreciate you, you know in

755
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:21,400
Speaker 3: my life.

756
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:25,120
Speaker 6: And it's like, for so long, that's really all I

757
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:27,920
Speaker 6: wanted was somebody just to see the value and the

758
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:32,319
Speaker 6: things that are important to me be able to but

759
00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:35,560
Speaker 6: just embrace what I've got going on, because again, like

760
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:40,160
Speaker 6: I said, you know, the wildness was like I didn't

761
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,520
Speaker 6: even touch on this, but like my mom stopped talking

762
00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:43,800
Speaker 6: to me while I was in rehab.

763
00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:46,680
Speaker 3: So there have been like.

764
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:52,080
Speaker 6: So many things to kind of like uncover and kind

765
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:58,799
Speaker 6: of climb over and like really really just champion and

766
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 6: like one of the things that I discovered in some

767
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,440
Speaker 6: of this. And it's really kind of just as bittersweet

768
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:07,040
Speaker 6: as like sometimes and this is gonna sound just interesting,

769
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:12,200
Speaker 6: it's like, as much as it may make sense for

770
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 6: you to be well, there are people that benefit from

771
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 6: you being sick. Oh absolutely, you know benefit from you not.

772
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:22,840
Speaker 4: To you're doing better than them, regardless of who they

773
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:23,279
Speaker 4: are to you.

774
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:28,719
Speaker 6: And sometimes it becomes really just unfortunate when I think

775
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:30,800
Speaker 6: it's like the people that you would be your biggest

776
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:34,000
Speaker 6: cheerleaders or like super close to you and be really

777
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 6: really happy to see you taking this new life, like

778
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:41,600
Speaker 6: I said, like they're not there.

779
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:45,239
Speaker 4: Yeah. Do you ever get tempted to have a drink?

780
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:45,520
Speaker 1: Again?

781
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:50,839
Speaker 3: The famous question? So Eban Nay. We have this thing

782
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 3: in the program called playing.

783
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 6: Out the tape, And so for me, like if I

784
00:35:55,960 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 6: play out the tape, I ain't never been no one umoso,

785
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 6: one shot, one drink, nothing. And as much as I

786
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:08,440
Speaker 6: would like to feel like, oh yeah, I could be

787
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:11,680
Speaker 6: that person, Like that's never been my story. Like I

788
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:13,400
Speaker 6: have a couple of drinks and I go get a

789
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 6: bottle and then God forbid, I sometimes.

790
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:16,200
Speaker 3: Go to jail.

791
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:18,759
Speaker 6: So it's just like for the life that I have,

792
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:23,279
Speaker 6: romanticizing that, like I really can't play into that. And

793
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:27,920
Speaker 6: it's like I've really had to really invest in what

794
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,799
Speaker 6: I like, meaning like I love green smoothies, so that

795
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:34,239
Speaker 6: means like I have spinich in my fridge ice, so

796
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:36,600
Speaker 6: like when I get up, I make green sloothies.

797
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 3: I love.

798
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:42,360
Speaker 6: I took one earlier, these like little health shots now ebony,

799
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:50,239
Speaker 6: these are running in the poorhouse, but like I love

800
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:53,840
Speaker 6: these because it's like it's wellness, it's a shot of flavor.

801
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,759
Speaker 6: It's still kind of it's kind of you know, you know,

802
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:02,360
Speaker 6: but it's it's the good kind. Really just had to

803
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:05,720
Speaker 6: embrace like the things that I like, because, like I said,

804
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:08,799
Speaker 6: like for so long, you know, it was I don't

805
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 6: like the way this medicine feels, but like everybody else

806
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 6: likes how I perform, so I'm take it. And it's

807
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:15,719
Speaker 6: like now I have to just like listen to my

808
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 6: own voice. And I know, like as much as it

809
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 6: if I no matter how great that Craven may be

810
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:24,680
Speaker 6: like I know what my disease look like.

811
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:26,000
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.

812
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 6: I was like I was never that cute girl like

813
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:31,720
Speaker 6: have a couple of drinks, Like I was that girl

814
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,000
Speaker 6: that was like I would hit my head on the

815
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:38,160
Speaker 6: bar like it would be like it would be serious consequences,

816
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:40,959
Speaker 6: like I like, I like I've had some ket nights

817
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:41,239
Speaker 6: like that.

818
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:45,880
Speaker 3: But it's just like again and playing out the tape.

819
00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 3: I just.

820
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:50,960
Speaker 6: I don't again because I've also been doing like the

821
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 6: they you know, work, I just don't have this, like

822
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:56,759
Speaker 6: I don't have the same I'm not carrying the same

823
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:58,960
Speaker 6: bags because.

824
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:00,160
Speaker 2: Now you know how to cope with your try I'm

825
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:04,000
Speaker 2: a better without using alcohol as a copa mechanism.

826
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,440
Speaker 6: And then it's like the support system is also different,

827
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 6: like yeah, like I said, my sponsor, she is amazing,

828
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:14,920
Speaker 6: Like we've had some incredible holidays, Like I look forward

829
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:16,880
Speaker 6: to the stuff she said to give me for Christmas,

830
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 6: And you know what I'm saying, cook at it like

831
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,880
Speaker 6: I'm a chef, so I cook for her often, and

832
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:24,240
Speaker 6: you know that has been It's just been so enriching

833
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:27,160
Speaker 6: because I feel like when you get sober, those are

834
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 6: the things that you don't expect. You just think like

835
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:31,840
Speaker 6: all of them get sober and like everything like my

836
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:34,160
Speaker 6: life's gonna come back together and it kind of gets

837
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:35,560
Speaker 6: turned inside out.

838
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:38,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I'm super proud of you.

839
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:40,520
Speaker 2: I'm really happy that we were able to have this

840
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:43,400
Speaker 2: conversation and now you have allowed me to be a

841
00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 2: part of your journey. So I really appreciate it.

842
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:49,120
Speaker 6: But oh, go ahead, I'm not gonna say anything because

843
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,120
Speaker 6: I know I know our long windes, so I already

844
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:51,759
Speaker 6: know what you're doing.

845
00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:58,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like girl, but and also have a flight

846
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:04,520
Speaker 2: to catch, however, but no, seriously, I'm going to Paris, yeah,

847
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:06,800
Speaker 2: along for a week?

848
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:09,360
Speaker 3: Are you going by yourself?

849
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:12,000
Speaker 4: No, I'm going with my childhood friends.

850
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 3: Oh I love that for you you yes.

851
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:17,440
Speaker 2: Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you. But no, seriously,

852
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:19,960
Speaker 2: I really really enjoyed this conversation. I mean, this is

853
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,800
Speaker 2: why I created my platform because I feel like stories

854
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:27,040
Speaker 2: like this is the epitome of storylines becoming lifelines. So

855
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:30,399
Speaker 2: I really do appreciate you sharing your story. And if

856
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:32,480
Speaker 2: you can speak to the version of yourself who took

857
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 2: the first drink at fourteen, what would you say to

858
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:35,840
Speaker 2: her now.

859
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 4: Drinking long al of nice tease.

860
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:49,080
Speaker 6: Get ready, everything's gonna change what's been sent to break you.

861
00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:55,040
Speaker 6: It's gonna make you stronger than ever. It is going

862
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:59,719
Speaker 6: to hurt. It's gonna hurt like hell. Everybody's gonna leave everybody. Yes,

863
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,920
Speaker 6: everybody is gonna lead, but you are gonna learn they

864
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:05,799
Speaker 6: were never there to begin with us. You got this.

865
00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:09,040
Speaker 6: It's gonna be hard, but the journey is worth it.

866
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:10,879
Speaker 6: I see you at the.

867
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 2: Time and on nothing. No, that's what I'm talking about, sus.

868
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:17,000
Speaker 2: When I come to Atlanta, I'm gonna definitely hit you up,

869
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:17,960
Speaker 2: but I'm super proud of you.

870
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:18,360
Speaker 3: Please do.

871
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 6: I would love to cook for you like that's like,

872
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 6: that's and I would love to eat.

873
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:23,920
Speaker 4: So I cooked for the.

874
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:26,399
Speaker 6: First Lady of the United States, like I know, I'd

875
00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:28,479
Speaker 6: be all around the place, but my hands is no joke.

876
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 4: Oh nice, nice, No, I'm serious. I'm serious. I'm gonna

877
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:32,880
Speaker 4: hit you up. I'm gonna hit you up.

878
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:33,520
Speaker 1: Yes.

879
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 2: But to the listeners, if you have any questions, comments

880
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:37,800
Speaker 2: and concerns, please make sure to email me and hello

881
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:40,320
Speaker 2: at the PHG podcast dot com.

882
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:42,040
Speaker 4: And this was so amazing.

883
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:43,400
Speaker 2: I'm really happy that we were able to do this

884
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 2: because child took us by three thousand times to try

885
00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:48,320
Speaker 2: to connect.

886
00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:51,719
Speaker 3: I was like I was detering to make your work look.

887
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 3: I got the member, I D and password right here.

888
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:55,319
Speaker 8: I yes.

889
00:40:56,400 --> 00:41:00,080
Speaker 4: So until next time, everyone lay.

890
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:07,640
Speaker 3: Yes.

891
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:12,280
Speaker 2: Pretty Private is a production of the Black Effect podcast Network.

892
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 2: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

893
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 2: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Don't forget

894
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:24,600
Speaker 2: to subscribe and rate the show, and you can connect

895
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 2: with me on social media at Pretty Private Podcasts