WEBVTT - “I FINALLY QUIT METH”

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<v Speaker 1>What is your name?

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<v Speaker 2>My name is Andrew.

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<v Speaker 1>Andrew. What's going on?

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<v Speaker 2>I am making a pizza sitting on a couch.

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<v Speaker 1>You are making a pizza. And if I heard and

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<v Speaker 1>did I hear this correctly, you are also sitting on

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<v Speaker 1>the couch as you make.

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<v Speaker 2>The pizza has just entered the oven, and I just

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<v Speaker 2>switched over to the couch while the timer goes Houston.

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<v Speaker 1>The pizza has entered the oven. True, you were making

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<v Speaker 1>a pizza and sitting on the couch. How do you

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<v Speaker 1>feel making a pizza and sitting on the couch.

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<v Speaker 2>Not too bad, nothing to complain about, really, and kind

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<v Speaker 2>of bored.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, sometimes sometimes boring life is good. I think you

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<v Speaker 1>gotta kind of you gotta have that. I don't think

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<v Speaker 1>I used to think that life had to be remarkable

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<v Speaker 1>like one hundred percent of the time.

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<v Speaker 3>And yeah, you know, I I still I would be

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<v Speaker 3>lying if I said that I still don't want life

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<v Speaker 3>to be remarkable.

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<v Speaker 1>But I also I really do feel like, uh, the

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<v Speaker 1>standard for remarkability can be quite low and you can

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<v Speaker 1>still hit it. Like in a way, there's something remarkable

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<v Speaker 1>about eating a frozen pizza, and life can be remarkable

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<v Speaker 1>in that sense. I do I do believe that in

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<v Speaker 1>a way.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I had a very remarkable last few years, but

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<v Speaker 2>right now is tremendously better.

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<v Speaker 1>Tell me, tell me more about why your remarkable life

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<v Speaker 1>is not as good as tell me why the boring

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<v Speaker 1>life you live is better than the remarkable two years

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<v Speaker 1>that you have had.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I got sober November el last year. I was

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<v Speaker 2>having multiple surgeries throughout the year for my kidney because

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<v Speaker 2>I was doing too much drugs, not drinking water, and

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<v Speaker 2>not legal trouble. But I was definitely on the brink

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<v Speaker 2>for a while. I'm sober.

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<v Speaker 1>What sorry, go ahead, I want to let you finish.

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<v Speaker 2>No, you go ahead.

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<v Speaker 1>Was this was this alcohol or was it drugs? Was

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<v Speaker 1>it all of it? It was myth Yeah, okay, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>So how long had you been doing meth for?

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<v Speaker 2>It was probably like three and a half years. But

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<v Speaker 2>I was on other stuff before that, like ever since

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<v Speaker 2>I was fifteen, I was on something.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, So I mean give me the story of the

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<v Speaker 1>whole two years if you want.

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<v Speaker 2>There's not much to it. Like I was in a

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<v Speaker 2>pretty dark place and I figured I just wanted to

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<v Speaker 2>try it, Like I was already into stimulants and uppers,

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<v Speaker 2>so I was like, might as well try the ultimate

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<v Speaker 2>high there and definitely led to even darker places which

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<v Speaker 2>I expected. It's not like I got anything that was

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<v Speaker 2>too surprising, but it's definitely a dash of schizophrenia that

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<v Speaker 2>comes with a lot of Matthews.

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<v Speaker 1>So did you have schizophrenia before the Math or did

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<v Speaker 1>you take the Math and the Math was like, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>there's a guy behind you.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I had no signs of schizophrenia. It was definitely

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<v Speaker 2>just methodist. And since I've gotten sober, it's not like

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<v Speaker 2>I'm still schizophrenic.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you remember anything? Do you remember, like from when

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<v Speaker 1>you did Smoke Smoke Math. Do you remember any particularly

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<v Speaker 1>interesting schizophrenic hallucinations that you had?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, I have my favorite one I ever had. It

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't my favorite the time. It was actually terrifying. But

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<v Speaker 2>I was driving down the road at like three am.

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<v Speaker 2>I was up for a few days and I had

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<v Speaker 2>no visuals leading up to this, like I didn't experience anything.

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<v Speaker 2>And I looked in my rear view mirror and there

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<v Speaker 2>was three humanoid foxes sprinting after my car, side by

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<v Speaker 2>side to each other. And as soon as I saw it,

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<v Speaker 2>it just like poofed gun. But when I saw it.

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<v Speaker 2>My fucking heart drank.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, So you're driving down the highway three am, high

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<v Speaker 1>on meth and you look to outside your right window,

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<v Speaker 1>and I saw your left window and you see like

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<v Speaker 1>like dudes in fox furry costumes running seventy miles per

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<v Speaker 1>hour against your car.

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<v Speaker 2>It was the rear view mirror. So they were behind me,

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<v Speaker 2>sprinting after me.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow. Interesting? What do you think did that is that?

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<v Speaker 1>You said humanoid fox? Did they look like little furry creatures?

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<v Speaker 2>It's hard to say. I don't know much about the furries.

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<v Speaker 2>It didn't look like people in costumes like it looked

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<v Speaker 2>like actual boxes standing on two legs.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow. Did any of them do shines?

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<v Speaker 4>What? So?

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<v Speaker 1>Is there is there? Is there any other any other

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<v Speaker 1>hallucinations that you that you want to share that come

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<v Speaker 1>to mind?

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<v Speaker 2>Ah, it's hard to say. I remember I moved states.

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<v Speaker 2>I was in Michigan when I started and ended in Indiana.

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<v Speaker 4>And uh.

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<v Speaker 2>When I was in Indiana, I got a knock on

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<v Speaker 2>the door and I went to answer it and it

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<v Speaker 2>was my boss from Taco Bell up in Michigan, and

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<v Speaker 2>he brought me a birthday cake, which was four months

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<v Speaker 2>prior to my birthday, So I thought it was odd.

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<v Speaker 2>I stood there and talked to him for a good

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<v Speaker 2>ten minutes at least that's what I perceived it to be,

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<v Speaker 2>and then before I knew it, poof, he was gone.

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<v Speaker 2>I was standing there talking to no one.

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<v Speaker 1>Holy shit? Really? Yeah, yeah, you had a you that's

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<v Speaker 1>that's that's like I can see, like, Okay, when I

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<v Speaker 1>think of like the three fox thing that you told me,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, okay, I can see like, oh, I'm seeing

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<v Speaker 1>something weird and fucked up in my rear view mirror.

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<v Speaker 1>That kind of feels like a dream, right, Like I

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<v Speaker 1>can kind of imagine maybe what that felt like. But

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<v Speaker 1>you had and the minute, But you had a ten

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<v Speaker 1>minute conversation with a dude. Yeah, wha Can you can

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<v Speaker 1>you describe any further? Like what what that felt like?

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<v Speaker 4>Like?

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<v Speaker 1>What did it feel like when he vanished?

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<v Speaker 4>Uh?

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<v Speaker 2>It was tremendous amounts this year when he vanished, Like

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<v Speaker 2>at first, it was really obscure to me, like why

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<v Speaker 2>the fuck is he here with a birthday cake? Like

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<v Speaker 2>why did he travel the states come seeing me four

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<v Speaker 2>months before my birthday with a birthday cake? But it

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<v Speaker 2>was so real that I never even questioned like this

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<v Speaker 2>isn't happening.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow.

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<v Speaker 2>But when he was gone and I realized that I

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<v Speaker 2>was hallucinating, that freaked me out. That kind of had

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<v Speaker 2>me shake gun for sure.

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<v Speaker 1>Were you living alone at this time?

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<v Speaker 2>No, but I was alone. M hmm, nobody else was home?

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<v Speaker 1>Wow? Okay, and so and and and it was And

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<v Speaker 1>at the time, you were only on mathh.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think so. I mean, I've done a bunch

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<v Speaker 2>of other things during my time on myth, but during

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<v Speaker 2>that time I was only on meth.

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<v Speaker 1>And I didn't realize that meth made you hallucinate like

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<v Speaker 1>that strongly. I thought it was like I thought it

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<v Speaker 1>was like, you know, I've taken an adderall pill or

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<v Speaker 1>two in my lifetime, and I thought it was like

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<v Speaker 1>that times ten. I didn't realize it made you like

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<v Speaker 1>see shit.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't either. I had no idea that was coming.

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<v Speaker 2>And I might have been smoking weed too. I recall

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<v Speaker 2>My hallucinations would get very verg then if I was

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<v Speaker 2>smoking mess and weed and I was up for a

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<v Speaker 2>few days.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow. And you had no prior like mental health issues.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean I was like depressed and ship but sure, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>never never schizophrenia like I've tripped on apps and many

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<v Speaker 2>many times. I've done every drug and I've never had

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<v Speaker 2>any crazy.

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<v Speaker 1>When I when I get depressed. When I get depressed,

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<v Speaker 1>I too see Taco Bell employees, but they do not vanish.

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<v Speaker 1>They give me tacos and then I van. Yeah, I

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<v Speaker 1>cry and I in the car. So okay, so you're

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<v Speaker 1>and you're sober now for how long?

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<v Speaker 2>It's then two hundred and eighty five days?

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<v Speaker 1>Wow? So you count every day?

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<v Speaker 2>Not every day, It's like every week or two I'll

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<v Speaker 2>check and then today I happened to check in it

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<v Speaker 2>was to eighty five.

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<v Speaker 1>What do you mean by check?

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<v Speaker 2>I just google how many days has it done since

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<v Speaker 2>November twelfth, and to see how many days it is,

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<v Speaker 2>see how close they am do a year.

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<v Speaker 1>So tell me about November every day. Go ahead. If

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<v Speaker 1>you check every day.

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<v Speaker 2>If I checked every day, then I feel like I'm

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<v Speaker 2>putting too much thought towards it, Like I don't want

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<v Speaker 2>my life to be I'm sober nothing else, Like I

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<v Speaker 2>don't want that to be the main part of my life.

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<v Speaker 2>I want Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I've had someone someone told me once that they thought

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<v Speaker 1>that sobriety like being like like like when you're obsessed

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<v Speaker 1>with how many days it's been since you've been free

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<v Speaker 1>from a substance, or like you're in a in a weird, annoying,

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<v Speaker 1>paradoxical way, like restraining yourself from a substance is still

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<v Speaker 1>a version of the substance having a hold on you, which, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>is so paradoxical and annoying and makes a ton of sense.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, I agree with that honestly. Like, I think

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<v Speaker 2>people can get drunk, get high, or do something and

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<v Speaker 2>still be free from the addiction that held them before.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm personally choosing to stay sober from everything because I

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<v Speaker 2>don't think I have the self control to dabble. I

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<v Speaker 2>think I would definitely go straight back to rock bottom

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<v Speaker 2>and keep digging deeper.

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<v Speaker 1>So tell me about November twelve. What was what was

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<v Speaker 1>going on.

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<v Speaker 2>I was staying with a girl at the time. She

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<v Speaker 2>also smoked mess and we had like a super toxic relationship.

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<v Speaker 2>Like I don't really remember how it got to the point,

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<v Speaker 2>but I was awake for ten days and we got

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<v Speaker 2>into a fight and I started throwing it around and

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<v Speaker 2>breaking shit, and she ended up just calling my mom

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<v Speaker 2>and being like, yeah, your son's done mass, Like you

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<v Speaker 2>need to come get them and get them to rehab,

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<v Speaker 2>which I'm twenty six. That kind of sucked, like at

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<v Speaker 2>that my mom come take care of me, But ultimately

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<v Speaker 2>it saved my life. Like I was smoking and sounds

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<v Speaker 2>a week, So you know.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that doesn't suck. I actually think that's pretty amazing.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like now in retrospect, like it it was the

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<v Speaker 2>best thing that could have happened to me.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, it was.

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<v Speaker 2>It was traumatizing for my mom to see me, Like

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<v Speaker 2>she showed up and there's meth out around the apartment.

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<v Speaker 2>Like the apartment's fucking trash. I just fucking destroyed the TV,

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<v Speaker 2>fucking broke windows, right, their candles around, right, right.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's amazing. It is kind of amazing and beautiful

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<v Speaker 1>to me because there's like so many people that you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I talked to him on this podcast who just have

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<v Speaker 1>like shitty parents or like their parents.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so grateful to have my mom, right.

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<v Speaker 1>It's great because like either they have shitty parents or

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<v Speaker 1>their parents aren't in their lives or like you, there's

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of people who, you know, if they were

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<v Speaker 1>tweaking out on meth and their girlfriend called their mom,

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<v Speaker 1>it was like you need to go pick them up.

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<v Speaker 1>They they wouldn't respond or they wouldn't right. Yeah, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>so it's it's a it's a it's a it's weirdly

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<v Speaker 1>a good thing.

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<v Speaker 2>During during my time of using I felt pretty selfish

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<v Speaker 2>because everybody I was using WES had horrible family problems.

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<v Speaker 2>Like they all had kids they couldn't see. They all

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<v Speaker 2>had parents that they didn't know or didn't talk to them.

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<v Speaker 2>I had a perfect fucking family growing up. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>my parents were divorced, but like I still had both

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<v Speaker 2>of them in my life. I had great siblings, and

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<v Speaker 2>I was there like selfish, selfish enough to be fucking

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<v Speaker 2>smoking Messler on my life well.

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<v Speaker 5>Every day mm hmmmm hmm.

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<v Speaker 2>I've come to terms with it. I don't feel bad

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<v Speaker 2>anymore about it. But then it definitely got to me.

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<v Speaker 1>So, Okay, your mom picks you up from school early,

0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:50.680
<v Speaker 1>and what what? What happens there? What happens?

0:12:50.679 --> 0:12:55.800
<v Speaker 2>Then she drives me back up to Michigan where I'm

0:12:55.800 --> 0:13:00.000
<v Speaker 2>living now. I stayed here for a couple of days

0:13:00.040 --> 0:13:02.320
<v Speaker 2>as I got in contact with a good rehab facility.

0:13:02.480 --> 0:13:04.439
<v Speaker 2>Because I was twenty five at the time, I had

0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:06.679
<v Speaker 2>in turned twenty six, so I was still on her insurance,

0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:10.160
<v Speaker 2>so I was able to afford like a good rehab

0:13:10.520 --> 0:13:14.480
<v Speaker 2>and pretty good, probably the best thirty days of my life' there,

0:13:14.520 --> 0:13:19.400
<v Speaker 2>Like it was a really good time and it worked. Yeah,

0:13:19.440 --> 0:13:23.640
<v Speaker 2>and I mean like it didn't it's not done, Like

0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:26.120
<v Speaker 2>it didn't work, but it's working, you know what I mean.

0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:30.040
<v Speaker 2>Like I can't say I'm cure, I'm fixed, but as

0:13:30.080 --> 0:13:31.440
<v Speaker 2>of right now, I'm still doing good.

0:13:32.600 --> 0:13:36.000
<v Speaker 1>Nice has anything replaced meth?

0:13:36.520 --> 0:13:36.600
<v Speaker 4>Like?

0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:41.160
<v Speaker 1>Are you into pixie Sticks or Overwatch or what's your thing?

0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:45.120
<v Speaker 2>I play a lot of video games. Yeah, I was

0:13:45.160 --> 0:13:48.800
<v Speaker 2>playing League of Legends, which is probably a worse drug

0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:52.040
<v Speaker 2>than mess, but I got up to Emerald rank and

0:13:52.080 --> 0:13:54.120
<v Speaker 2>then I quit playing because that was the high enough

0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:57.240
<v Speaker 2>rank for me and I know the game, so.

0:13:57.960 --> 0:14:00.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, huh, I know, I said, Wow, it's so I

0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:04.240
<v Speaker 1>think it's there's there's something I deeply respect about quitting

0:14:04.320 --> 0:14:09.320
<v Speaker 1>the game when you've reached your uh, your your emerald

0:14:09.360 --> 0:14:10.319
<v Speaker 1>rank or whatever it is.

0:14:11.600 --> 0:14:13.640
<v Speaker 2>Lee was literally a drug for me as well, Like

0:14:13.760 --> 0:14:15.800
<v Speaker 2>I would be addicted of playing it. I'd get up

0:14:15.840 --> 0:14:17.960
<v Speaker 2>early to play it, play for a few hours, get

0:14:18.000 --> 0:14:20.320
<v Speaker 2>back up, keep playing all day and I hate it

0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:24.320
<v Speaker 2>every minute of that. So like it was good to

0:14:24.320 --> 0:14:26.920
<v Speaker 2>get off it. Lately, I've been playing the Earthbound series.

0:14:28.760 --> 0:14:33.680
<v Speaker 2>Really yeah, that's had a hold on me. Fantastic games.

0:14:34.000 --> 0:14:36.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but like those get like to me, okay, like

0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:40.840
<v Speaker 1>those games. Uh like I don't know if uh, I'm

0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:43.880
<v Speaker 1>curious people's thoughts on this, but okay, So to me,

0:14:43.880 --> 0:14:46.000
<v Speaker 1>there's a difference. I don't really play online games. I

0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:49.960
<v Speaker 1>play one online game. I play Super Smash Bros. Melee

0:14:50.080 --> 0:14:52.960
<v Speaker 1>online via Slippy and I fucking love it. Uh but

0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:59.160
<v Speaker 1>tell yeah, to me, there's a difference between like getting

0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:03.720
<v Speaker 1>sucked in to online games like Call of Duty or

0:15:03.760 --> 0:15:07.120
<v Speaker 1>whatever the fuck people are playing right now, versus like

0:15:07.400 --> 0:15:14.120
<v Speaker 1>sitting down to play a linear, story driven single player experience,

0:15:14.640 --> 0:15:17.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, because motherfuckers will sit and they'll they'll you know,

0:15:17.840 --> 0:15:23.760
<v Speaker 1>watch forty episodes of TV like normal human beings do that, right, Yeah.

0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:26.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I feel like competitive gaming, like games with the

0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:30.440
<v Speaker 2>ranking system, Like the ranking system itself is the addicted part.

0:15:30.640 --> 0:15:34.040
<v Speaker 1>Right right, right right, It's the ranking system is addicted,

0:15:34.200 --> 0:15:36.680
<v Speaker 1>right like you're you're in the online game. It feels

0:15:36.720 --> 0:15:40.320
<v Speaker 1>as though you're addicted to like the kind of slot

0:15:40.320 --> 0:15:45.640
<v Speaker 1>machine gambling, whatever the fuck thing of increasing your rank

0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:48.920
<v Speaker 1>whereas like if you're like I'm playing the Last of

0:15:49.040 --> 0:15:51.760
<v Speaker 1>Us right now, and it's like I'm going through a

0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:56.280
<v Speaker 1>linear story experience, it feels like it feels like a

0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:57.520
<v Speaker 1>different thing. But maybe it's not.

0:15:57.680 --> 0:16:04.080
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, Yeah, it's I don't find it to

0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:06.680
<v Speaker 2>be addictive. I play it a lot because I enjoy it.

0:16:06.720 --> 0:16:09.720
<v Speaker 2>I never played a league because I enjoy it. I

0:16:09.760 --> 0:16:11.720
<v Speaker 2>played it because I wanted to get better and I

0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:14.760
<v Speaker 2>was addicted to it was like a self reflection thing.

0:16:14.800 --> 0:16:18.320
<v Speaker 2>If I'm badly ranked, I view myself poorly stupid, like

0:16:18.480 --> 0:16:22.320
<v Speaker 2>not smart enough to get there with Earthnound. I'm just

0:16:22.320 --> 0:16:23.960
<v Speaker 2>playing it because it's fucking fun. You know.

0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:25.640
<v Speaker 1>It is kind of funny that for a little bit

0:16:25.680 --> 0:16:28.400
<v Speaker 1>you were living in a universe where if somebody had

0:16:28.400 --> 0:16:30.560
<v Speaker 1>a poor rank in League of Legends, they were a

0:16:30.560 --> 0:16:33.360
<v Speaker 1>piece of shit. Like you, like you're just walking like

0:16:33.400 --> 0:16:35.760
<v Speaker 1>you're just walking down the street and being like this guy,

0:16:35.800 --> 0:16:37.880
<v Speaker 1>what a fucking loser, dude. They're probably bronze.

0:16:39.480 --> 0:16:42.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, now that I vocalize it, that's kind of fucked.

0:16:41.840 --> 0:16:44.360
<v Speaker 1>But right because because then you you you reflect it

0:16:44.400 --> 0:16:45.280
<v Speaker 1>back onto yourself.

0:16:47.840 --> 0:16:47.960
<v Speaker 4>YEA.

0:16:48.040 --> 0:16:50.440
<v Speaker 2>Well, my brother he played league with me, and he

0:16:50.480 --> 0:16:52.840
<v Speaker 2>had a fucking mental breakdown because he's iron ranked and

0:16:53.640 --> 0:16:55.880
<v Speaker 2>I was climbing and he was just fucking like why

0:16:55.880 --> 0:16:57.320
<v Speaker 2>am I so stupid? Like can't I do it?

0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:00.920
<v Speaker 1>So I guess before we go, what's your dream? And London?

0:17:00.960 --> 0:17:03.920
<v Speaker 1>Now that now you've kicked meth, Now that you've kicked math,

0:17:04.520 --> 0:17:06.280
<v Speaker 1>what do you What are you gonna do? You're gonna

0:17:06.320 --> 0:17:07.960
<v Speaker 1>go to Disney World? That wasn't funny? What are you

0:17:07.960 --> 0:17:09.320
<v Speaker 1>going to do now that you kicked meths?

0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:14.640
<v Speaker 2>I want to go to nursing school. I think going

0:17:14.640 --> 0:17:18.720
<v Speaker 2>to nursing school would be cool. It's great, make a

0:17:18.760 --> 0:17:20.600
<v Speaker 2>lot of money, I get to help people.

0:17:21.480 --> 0:17:23.159
<v Speaker 1>Great and a life of drugs.

0:17:23.160 --> 0:17:26.240
<v Speaker 2>You end up learning a lot about health and ship

0:17:26.359 --> 0:17:26.640
<v Speaker 2>like that.

0:17:26.800 --> 0:17:31.679
<v Speaker 1>So I think, hey, congratulations, man, that's awesome. I I

0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:34.440
<v Speaker 1>like uh as the kids say, I love that for you,

0:17:36.400 --> 0:17:36.760
<v Speaker 1>Thank you.

0:17:37.040 --> 0:17:38.400
<v Speaker 2>It was a pleasure talk to you, man.

0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:39.920
<v Speaker 1>Pleasure talking too. Is there anything else you want to

0:17:39.920 --> 0:17:41.399
<v Speaker 1>say to the people of the computer before we go?

0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:46.480
<v Speaker 2>And no, don't play league, don't smoke mess.

0:17:48.240 --> 0:17:50.040
<v Speaker 1>Words to live by all right? Take care man?

0:17:50.440 --> 0:17:50.640
<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

0:17:51.080 --> 0:17:51.399
<v Speaker 2>All right?

0:17:51.480 --> 0:17:57.040
<v Speaker 1>See never played earth Bound. I heard it's good, though,

0:17:57.720 --> 0:18:00.240
<v Speaker 1>I heard it's good. I love video games. I might

0:18:00.240 --> 0:18:01.879
<v Speaker 1>have talked about this in the podcast before. I have

0:18:01.920 --> 0:18:04.280
<v Speaker 1>short term memory loss. I think it might be because

0:18:04.520 --> 0:18:07.359
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if it's just uh, I don't know

0:18:07.400 --> 0:18:10.400
<v Speaker 1>if it's pot I don't know if it's just how

0:18:10.400 --> 0:18:12.600
<v Speaker 1>my brain is wired, if my parents were like this.

0:18:12.680 --> 0:18:14.399
<v Speaker 1>But I just have short term memory loss. So forgive

0:18:14.400 --> 0:18:17.560
<v Speaker 1>me if I've gone on the same exact rant in

0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:21.359
<v Speaker 1>literally ten different podcast episodes. But uh, I know I

0:18:21.400 --> 0:18:25.840
<v Speaker 1>love video games. I've decided, I've decided, finitely, definitively that

0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:29.760
<v Speaker 1>I love video games. I've probably played thousands of matches

0:18:29.800 --> 0:18:33.560
<v Speaker 1>of Super Smash Brothers Melee, and when I'm when I'm dying,

0:18:33.560 --> 0:18:36.879
<v Speaker 1>when I'm a you know, if I'm lucky enough to

0:18:36.960 --> 0:18:40.520
<v Speaker 1>be like on a deathbed, I've everyone imagines a deathbed,

0:18:40.640 --> 0:18:42.240
<v Speaker 1>but I don't think, you know, everyone gets one. Some

0:18:42.240 --> 0:18:44.200
<v Speaker 1>people just get hit by a car in the street.

0:18:44.240 --> 0:18:47.040
<v Speaker 1>But if I'm lucky enough to get a deathbed when

0:18:47.040 --> 0:18:48.919
<v Speaker 1>it comes, when I when reflecting on my life, when

0:18:48.920 --> 0:18:50.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm reflecting on the amount of time that I've spent

0:18:50.840 --> 0:18:54.720
<v Speaker 1>playing Super Smash Brothers in Melee, i will be. I'll happy,

0:18:54.720 --> 0:18:57.320
<v Speaker 1>I'll die with it. I'll be if I'm I'm fully

0:18:57.440 --> 0:19:03.280
<v Speaker 1>sitting there, controller in hand, the Mento Moriri, aware that

0:19:03.280 --> 0:19:06.280
<v Speaker 1>that I my time on this earth is precious and

0:19:06.400 --> 0:19:12.000
<v Speaker 1>limited to such an insane degree. I'm I'm my lifespan

0:19:12.119 --> 0:19:15.159
<v Speaker 1>is but a blink on the timeline of everything that

0:19:15.200 --> 0:19:17.480
<v Speaker 1>ever was or anything that ever will be, and that

0:19:17.640 --> 0:19:21.479
<v Speaker 1>time is the most precious thing ever, and I'm choosing

0:19:21.520 --> 0:19:26.960
<v Speaker 1>to spend it playing Super Smash Brothers Melee happily, happily.

0:19:27.800 --> 0:19:29.960
<v Speaker 1>So I don't uh, I don't know. I don't make

0:19:30.000 --> 0:19:34.240
<v Speaker 1>myself feel bad about it anymore. Attention listeners of the

0:19:34.240 --> 0:19:37.679
<v Speaker 1>Therapy Gecko podcast. Do you know that I do a

0:19:37.840 --> 0:19:42.600
<v Speaker 1>live version of this podcast on stage in person, in

0:19:42.640 --> 0:19:46.200
<v Speaker 1>front of real people, And that I'm doing this live

0:19:46.240 --> 0:19:50.680
<v Speaker 1>show in several cities across the United States and Europe

0:19:50.720 --> 0:19:54.560
<v Speaker 1>this fall, and that tickets are available right now at

0:19:54.640 --> 0:19:58.480
<v Speaker 1>therapy geckotour dot com or at the link in the

0:19:58.520 --> 0:20:01.840
<v Speaker 1>episode description. It is all true. I'm currently on my

0:20:01.960 --> 0:20:05.440
<v Speaker 1>third tour doing Therapy Gecko live all around the country

0:20:05.640 --> 0:20:09.320
<v Speaker 1>and it is the most fun, sick, amazing thing ever

0:20:09.520 --> 0:20:11.040
<v Speaker 1>and you should come out and be a part of it.

0:20:11.160 --> 0:20:14.400
<v Speaker 1>The shows involve a mix of material and presentations from

0:20:14.440 --> 0:20:19.199
<v Speaker 1>myself combined with a group Gecko therapy session where members

0:20:19.200 --> 0:20:22.080
<v Speaker 1>of the audience come on stage to share things from

0:20:22.119 --> 0:20:24.760
<v Speaker 1>their lives in front of a big group of people,

0:20:25.040 --> 0:20:27.919
<v Speaker 1>just like we do here on the podcast. Whether you're

0:20:27.920 --> 0:20:30.439
<v Speaker 1>a fan of the podcast or you have no idea

0:20:30.520 --> 0:20:32.600
<v Speaker 1>what this is and you clicked on a by accident,

0:20:32.760 --> 0:20:34.800
<v Speaker 1>you're gonna have a great time at the live show

0:20:35.040 --> 0:20:38.919
<v Speaker 1>once again. Tickets are available right now at therapy geckotour

0:20:39.160 --> 0:20:42.200
<v Speaker 1>dot com or at the link in the episode description.

0:20:42.480 --> 0:20:46.160
<v Speaker 1>These are really fun shows. They're always wild, they're always unpredictable,

0:20:46.240 --> 0:20:47.440
<v Speaker 1>and I hope to see you guys there.

0:20:48.640 --> 0:20:51.639
<v Speaker 5>From Christina, Hello, can you hear me?

0:20:52.440 --> 0:20:52.680
<v Speaker 4>Hey?

0:20:52.680 --> 0:20:53.280
<v Speaker 1>What's your name?

0:20:54.160 --> 0:20:55.040
<v Speaker 5>My name's Christina?

0:20:55.480 --> 0:20:56.399
<v Speaker 1>Christina? What's going on?

0:20:57.520 --> 0:20:58.080
<v Speaker 4>Oh? Nothing?

0:20:58.359 --> 0:21:00.000
<v Speaker 5>Just chilling? How are you?

0:21:00.040 --> 0:21:01.639
<v Speaker 1>I'm doing good? Have we ever spoken before?

0:21:03.000 --> 0:21:03.880
<v Speaker 5>We might have?

0:21:05.960 --> 0:21:07.320
<v Speaker 1>We might have? Okay?

0:21:08.359 --> 0:21:10.480
<v Speaker 5>Yeah? Am I wait? When I were talking to Lyle

0:21:10.600 --> 0:21:14.240
<v Speaker 5>who I'm very confused?

0:21:14.880 --> 0:21:19.720
<v Speaker 1>Would you you know what? Who cares? What's up? Christina?

0:21:19.720 --> 0:21:20.760
<v Speaker 1>How can I get you today?

0:21:23.160 --> 0:21:26.639
<v Speaker 5>Nothing? I'm just just looking for a conversation and some opinions.

0:21:26.680 --> 0:21:28.439
<v Speaker 1>Actually sure what opinions on?

0:21:28.520 --> 0:21:30.159
<v Speaker 4>What? So?

0:21:31.000 --> 0:21:36.600
<v Speaker 5>I'm in my reinvention error right now. Yeah. Yeah, I

0:21:36.680 --> 0:21:39.480
<v Speaker 5>just went through a breakup after ten years, so I'm

0:21:39.560 --> 0:21:43.320
<v Speaker 5>kind of reintegrating into the dating world, which you know,

0:21:43.359 --> 0:21:49.600
<v Speaker 5>it sucks, actually does, Yeah, it definitely does. And I'm

0:21:49.640 --> 0:21:53.440
<v Speaker 5>trying to think of ways to like kind of bring

0:21:53.440 --> 0:21:57.119
<v Speaker 5>myself out of my shell and doing something new with

0:21:57.280 --> 0:22:01.080
<v Speaker 5>my life that actually aligns with my goals. But it's

0:22:01.200 --> 0:22:04.879
<v Speaker 5>kind of sketchy. And I thought of you, which is

0:22:04.920 --> 0:22:06.879
<v Speaker 5>so funny because I saw it that you were alive today.

0:22:07.240 --> 0:22:10.000
<v Speaker 5>I'm like, it's Tuesday, isn't that? Like, am I going crazy?

0:22:10.040 --> 0:22:11.200
<v Speaker 5>You don't normally streams day?

0:22:13.560 --> 0:22:15.560
<v Speaker 1>What made you think? Like you thought of me to

0:22:15.640 --> 0:22:17.960
<v Speaker 1>ask me my opinion or you thought of me as

0:22:18.000 --> 0:22:19.119
<v Speaker 1>an example of something.

0:22:20.200 --> 0:22:22.679
<v Speaker 5>Well, I thought of you for your opinion because I

0:22:22.800 --> 0:22:24.960
<v Speaker 5>was so curious. I probably could have googled it, to

0:22:24.960 --> 0:22:28.480
<v Speaker 5>be honest, But like, how did you even get into

0:22:28.560 --> 0:22:32.320
<v Speaker 5>this whole realm of therapy? Gack?

0:22:32.800 --> 0:22:33.040
<v Speaker 4>Wow?

0:22:33.200 --> 0:22:35.040
<v Speaker 1>Well I got I got kind of lucky. I mean

0:22:35.080 --> 0:22:38.640
<v Speaker 1>I've been making videos and doing things on the internet

0:22:38.720 --> 0:22:42.159
<v Speaker 1>for a good I had been doing I had been

0:22:42.160 --> 0:22:44.240
<v Speaker 1>making videos and doing things on the internet for like

0:22:44.280 --> 0:22:49.679
<v Speaker 1>a good ten years, and then I just got lucky

0:22:51.440 --> 0:22:56.840
<v Speaker 1>with the Reddit Public access network. I got in on

0:22:56.880 --> 0:22:58.760
<v Speaker 1>that at a good time, and I got in on

0:22:58.800 --> 0:23:02.560
<v Speaker 1>TikTok at a good time, and lo and behold, I've

0:23:02.800 --> 0:23:07.600
<v Speaker 1>kind of dragged that out for four years, and I

0:23:07.640 --> 0:23:10.840
<v Speaker 1>am and the roads have all led me to this

0:23:10.920 --> 0:23:12.160
<v Speaker 1>moment as I'm talking to you.

0:23:14.200 --> 0:23:15.560
<v Speaker 5>Have you always been a gek?

0:23:16.440 --> 0:23:22.080
<v Speaker 1>No? No, I have only been a gek for four years.

0:23:22.520 --> 0:23:25.080
<v Speaker 1>But tell me more about this reinvention. What are you

0:23:25.080 --> 0:23:25.880
<v Speaker 1>trying to reinvent?

0:23:27.680 --> 0:23:29.480
<v Speaker 5>I just want to get out of the corporate world

0:23:29.720 --> 0:23:32.720
<v Speaker 5>and kind of build something for myself and gain the

0:23:32.760 --> 0:23:37.359
<v Speaker 5>confidence again. Yeah, so it's been really hard. I mean so,

0:23:38.840 --> 0:23:40.760
<v Speaker 5>like I mentioned, I just got out of a relationship

0:23:40.760 --> 0:23:42.919
<v Speaker 5>for ten years because I found out that they were

0:23:42.960 --> 0:23:45.480
<v Speaker 5>cheating on me. So that was like a really big

0:23:45.520 --> 0:23:48.280
<v Speaker 5>blow to your ego. So I'm kind of trying to

0:23:48.320 --> 0:23:51.520
<v Speaker 5>find something to do, and I was entertaining the idea

0:23:51.520 --> 0:23:53.320
<v Speaker 5>of getting into streaming, which I know a lot of

0:23:53.359 --> 0:23:57.920
<v Speaker 5>people say, I've always had that desire, but it seems

0:23:57.960 --> 0:24:00.639
<v Speaker 5>so scary. It's like such a scary place to break into.

0:24:00.880 --> 0:24:01.080
<v Speaker 5>You know.

0:24:02.240 --> 0:24:03.760
<v Speaker 1>Well, what seems scary about it.

0:24:06.600 --> 0:24:10.920
<v Speaker 5>Probably just the judgment. I mean, being a gamer girl

0:24:11.080 --> 0:24:14.320
<v Speaker 5>for as many years as I've been it's very rare,

0:24:14.720 --> 0:24:16.919
<v Speaker 5>well not rare, actually it's getting a lot better. But

0:24:16.960 --> 0:24:21.080
<v Speaker 5>there's a lot of negative masculine energy in that space,

0:24:21.280 --> 0:24:24.160
<v Speaker 5>and like a lot of judgment and perception. So that's

0:24:24.200 --> 0:24:26.600
<v Speaker 5>always a scary thing to be vulnerable to.

0:24:27.160 --> 0:24:32.840
<v Speaker 1>What are you What are you afraid of being judged about?

0:24:34.240 --> 0:24:37.520
<v Speaker 5>I don't know if I've ever thought about it very particularly,

0:24:38.000 --> 0:24:42.280
<v Speaker 5>like kind of everything, whether it's perception of like self

0:24:42.640 --> 0:24:47.879
<v Speaker 5>and image, because you know that's a huge component of it, personality,

0:24:48.920 --> 0:24:52.240
<v Speaker 5>just anything I think I get in my own way sometimes,

0:24:52.240 --> 0:24:53.840
<v Speaker 5>but I'm trying to break out of that.

0:24:54.760 --> 0:24:55.919
<v Speaker 4>M hm m.

0:24:58.240 --> 0:25:01.240
<v Speaker 1>So. So so when you say you're trying to reinvent yourself,

0:25:01.240 --> 0:25:03.119
<v Speaker 1>get out of the corporate world and start streaming, are

0:25:03.119 --> 0:25:05.639
<v Speaker 1>you saying you want to like start you want to

0:25:05.720 --> 0:25:08.280
<v Speaker 1>kind of quit your job to become a streamer.

0:25:10.880 --> 0:25:14.000
<v Speaker 5>It is definitely a thought that has happened, But because

0:25:14.040 --> 0:25:16.920
<v Speaker 5>of the financial security, I feel like that would be insane.

0:25:18.359 --> 0:25:20.480
<v Speaker 1>Well I don't. I only think it would be insane

0:25:20.880 --> 0:25:23.119
<v Speaker 1>to I only I only think it would be insane

0:25:23.160 --> 0:25:25.120
<v Speaker 1>to quit your job to do something that you haven't

0:25:25.160 --> 0:25:29.080
<v Speaker 1>even started. Yeah, so I think before, I guess I

0:25:29.119 --> 0:25:31.200
<v Speaker 1>think before thinking about quitting your job to do something,

0:25:31.600 --> 0:25:35.280
<v Speaker 1>you should start doing it, but not to try, not

0:25:35.359 --> 0:25:37.680
<v Speaker 1>even because it might not be successful, but because you

0:25:37.760 --> 0:25:38.840
<v Speaker 1>might not even like it.

0:25:42.000 --> 0:25:44.120
<v Speaker 5>That is true. I feel like I would be really

0:25:44.160 --> 0:25:48.640
<v Speaker 5>good in the space. So it's just kind of talking

0:25:48.640 --> 0:25:51.840
<v Speaker 5>to people networking and figuring out how other people accomplished

0:25:51.840 --> 0:25:55.360
<v Speaker 5>it and seeing if I can build some confidence through that.

0:25:56.000 --> 0:25:57.000
<v Speaker 1>Well, why don't you do it?

0:25:57.040 --> 0:26:02.200
<v Speaker 5>But others experience? I think I might, and I do.

0:26:02.359 --> 0:26:04.920
<v Speaker 5>I like your platform and kind of how you've done

0:26:04.960 --> 0:26:07.760
<v Speaker 5>it because I love talking to people. And even though

0:26:07.760 --> 0:26:11.240
<v Speaker 5>I play video games all the time, I'm not good

0:26:11.280 --> 0:26:14.000
<v Speaker 5>at them, so I don't think my games play would

0:26:14.000 --> 0:26:15.400
<v Speaker 5>actually be that great.

0:26:15.800 --> 0:26:19.400
<v Speaker 1>I don't think that video game streaming is necessarily about gameplay.

0:26:19.440 --> 0:26:22.480
<v Speaker 1>I think it's mainly about uh, you know, personality.

0:26:25.520 --> 0:26:28.880
<v Speaker 5>Makes That's true. Kind I just have to stream into.

0:26:28.720 --> 0:26:32.040
<v Speaker 1>It, Yeah, you just have to, Like, like I mean you,

0:26:32.400 --> 0:26:34.600
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if is this? Is this the thing

0:26:34.600 --> 0:26:35.879
<v Speaker 1>that you wanted my opinion on.

0:26:37.600 --> 0:26:39.520
<v Speaker 5>Kind of all of that, but also like, am I

0:26:39.600 --> 0:26:43.120
<v Speaker 5>just going crazy? Is this my midlife crisis? The violence

0:26:43.200 --> 0:26:44.639
<v Speaker 5>of my.

0:26:45.040 --> 0:26:48.520
<v Speaker 1>My opinion is that my opinion doesn't matter. It's like

0:26:48.600 --> 0:26:51.200
<v Speaker 1>if you if you have an inkling of an idea

0:26:51.240 --> 0:26:53.159
<v Speaker 1>that something might be fun and interesting to you, then

0:26:53.240 --> 0:26:54.840
<v Speaker 1>just do it. You know, who gives a fuck?

0:26:56.240 --> 0:26:58.840
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, that's very true.

0:26:59.640 --> 0:27:01.439
<v Speaker 1>You know, it's it's chinker.

0:27:01.680 --> 0:27:01.840
<v Speaker 4>You know.

0:27:02.680 --> 0:27:04.920
<v Speaker 1>If if you want to get into streaming, just tinker

0:27:04.960 --> 0:27:07.520
<v Speaker 1>around with it, you know, go download stream labs and

0:27:08.480 --> 0:27:11.320
<v Speaker 1>fire it up and just start fucking around, you know,

0:27:11.720 --> 0:27:13.400
<v Speaker 1>now if you want to. If you're if you're talking

0:27:13.400 --> 0:27:17.199
<v Speaker 1>about like how do I start making money and how

0:27:17.240 --> 0:27:20.560
<v Speaker 1>do I grow and all that stuff, I don't even

0:27:20.600 --> 0:27:24.200
<v Speaker 1>think you're not even if you haven't even like turned

0:27:24.200 --> 0:27:26.480
<v Speaker 1>to the camera on and started and done the thing,

0:27:26.640 --> 0:27:28.600
<v Speaker 1>you know, then you're not You're not even You're not

0:27:28.640 --> 0:27:30.560
<v Speaker 1>even there yet. You got to just give it a shot.

0:27:31.840 --> 0:27:34.680
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, that's true. The whole monetizing thing is just a

0:27:34.720 --> 0:27:36.000
<v Speaker 5>whole other piece of the puzzle.

0:27:36.480 --> 0:27:38.399
<v Speaker 1>And then that you at, what were you at? What

0:27:38.440 --> 0:27:39.239
<v Speaker 1>was the second thing you were?

0:27:39.280 --> 0:27:39.320
<v Speaker 4>Like?

0:27:39.359 --> 0:27:40.199
<v Speaker 1>Am I going crazy?

0:27:41.320 --> 0:27:45.959
<v Speaker 5>Yeah? Like I feel like, is this the equivalent of

0:27:46.080 --> 0:27:49.560
<v Speaker 5>like the Red Corvette mid life crisis? Like, you know,

0:27:49.600 --> 0:27:53.080
<v Speaker 5>I just turned thirty, you know, I, like I said,

0:27:53.119 --> 0:27:55.080
<v Speaker 5>I've been in the relationship for ten years. I'm now

0:27:55.160 --> 0:27:59.080
<v Speaker 5>re entering this world and I'm just like, hmm, maybe

0:27:59.119 --> 0:28:01.720
<v Speaker 5>this is not a cret the idea that maybe it is.

0:28:02.280 --> 0:28:05.320
<v Speaker 1>Well, some people's idea of a crazy bid life crisis

0:28:05.400 --> 0:28:07.760
<v Speaker 1>is to drown their children in a bathtub, So I

0:28:07.760 --> 0:28:11.800
<v Speaker 1>think video game streaming is not that crazy in comparison.

0:28:13.880 --> 0:28:15.520
<v Speaker 5>That makes me feel a lot better.

0:28:16.200 --> 0:28:19.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we need to lower the bar a lot in

0:28:19.200 --> 0:28:23.800
<v Speaker 1>terms of you know, I guess crazy because there's some

0:28:24.680 --> 0:28:25.480
<v Speaker 1>it could be worse.

0:28:27.640 --> 0:28:30.000
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I guess it could. But dating right now really

0:28:30.040 --> 0:28:30.800
<v Speaker 5>just sucks too.

0:28:31.560 --> 0:28:33.720
<v Speaker 1>How are you how long have you been out of

0:28:34.680 --> 0:28:35.720
<v Speaker 1>this relationship for.

0:28:36.520 --> 0:28:38.160
<v Speaker 5>It's been out three and a half months.

0:28:38.440 --> 0:28:41.240
<v Speaker 1>Okay, why are you on hinge? What are you doing?

0:28:42.240 --> 0:28:42.600
<v Speaker 4>Oh?

0:28:42.640 --> 0:28:46.160
<v Speaker 5>I did try hinge and it was I just did

0:28:46.160 --> 0:28:48.520
<v Speaker 5>not like it. I got off dating apps as soon

0:28:48.560 --> 0:28:51.680
<v Speaker 5>as I could, not really feeling that I don't know

0:28:51.720 --> 0:28:57.720
<v Speaker 5>how to organically meet people. So I do outside activities

0:28:57.800 --> 0:29:00.479
<v Speaker 5>and you know, try to get into a neutral space,

0:29:00.760 --> 0:29:03.320
<v Speaker 5>but doesn't really work as well.

0:29:04.120 --> 0:29:09.440
<v Speaker 1>Mhmm. You know, I I've struggled with dating a lot

0:29:09.600 --> 0:29:14.080
<v Speaker 1>in my life, and I'm also on kind of a

0:29:14.160 --> 0:29:21.560
<v Speaker 1>journey to find a like a proper mindset or uh

0:29:22.640 --> 0:29:27.080
<v Speaker 1>I guess I guess conclusion to it, and I don't.

0:29:27.120 --> 0:29:33.880
<v Speaker 1>I don't have one, but I part of part of me,

0:29:34.440 --> 0:29:36.400
<v Speaker 1>like I I kind of wean back and forth because

0:29:36.400 --> 0:29:38.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm like part of me part of me thinks, you know,

0:29:39.520 --> 0:29:41.520
<v Speaker 1>you need to just learn to be happy on your own,

0:29:42.240 --> 0:29:46.920
<v Speaker 1>and then another large part of me believes that that

0:29:47.160 --> 0:29:54.960
<v Speaker 1>is complete, utter bullshit, right because every single song, every movie,

0:29:55.200 --> 0:30:01.320
<v Speaker 1>every conventional piece of wisdom has always told us that

0:30:01.440 --> 0:30:04.920
<v Speaker 1>the most important things, the most important thing in our

0:30:04.920 --> 0:30:09.280
<v Speaker 1>life is our relationships, you know, and love. And so

0:30:09.800 --> 0:30:14.040
<v Speaker 1>it's hard to look that in the face and go, yeah,

0:30:14.080 --> 0:30:16.240
<v Speaker 1>you know what, I don't need it. It's hard. It's hard,

0:30:16.280 --> 0:30:22.040
<v Speaker 1>if not nigh impossible. So I don't know, I don't.

0:30:22.040 --> 0:30:23.640
<v Speaker 1>I don't have a conclusion on that.

0:30:23.560 --> 0:30:23.880
<v Speaker 4>But.

0:30:25.920 --> 0:30:27.440
<v Speaker 5>I mean it does make me feel better that I'm

0:30:27.480 --> 0:30:31.760
<v Speaker 5>at least not the only one in that mindset, like

0:30:31.840 --> 0:30:34.800
<v Speaker 5>a lot of There's so many people that I just

0:30:34.840 --> 0:30:39.000
<v Speaker 5>see that are in happy relationships or like super happy independent,

0:30:39.080 --> 0:30:42.680
<v Speaker 5>and I'm like trying to find the neutral territory in

0:30:42.720 --> 0:30:44.360
<v Speaker 5>between it. But yeah, like you said, it's kind of

0:30:44.880 --> 0:30:46.520
<v Speaker 5>kind of shitty. I love myself. I think that my

0:30:46.600 --> 0:30:49.800
<v Speaker 5>company is great, and you know, being with a partner

0:30:49.840 --> 0:30:54.720
<v Speaker 5>obviously helps a lot but the intrum is is like

0:30:54.800 --> 0:30:57.200
<v Speaker 5>a really weird space to be in.

0:30:59.480 --> 0:31:01.680
<v Speaker 1>Uh, yes, I agree with that. I agree with that.

0:31:01.880 --> 0:31:04.680
<v Speaker 1>It's it is, A is a it is and at

0:31:04.680 --> 0:31:07.000
<v Speaker 1>times and but for me and at times a pretty

0:31:07.040 --> 0:31:11.320
<v Speaker 1>miserable space to be And I think, yeah, but depending

0:31:11.320 --> 0:31:13.600
<v Speaker 1>on how you view it. I don't know, I don't know,

0:31:13.640 --> 0:31:15.400
<v Speaker 1>I don't I I go back, this is, this is,

0:31:15.480 --> 0:31:19.479
<v Speaker 1>this is the this is the happiness battle is how

0:31:19.560 --> 0:31:22.120
<v Speaker 1>much of how much of this is external? How much

0:31:22.160 --> 0:31:25.120
<v Speaker 1>of this is is? Have you what what what rungs

0:31:25.160 --> 0:31:32.240
<v Speaker 1>on the Maslow hierarchy of needs? Have you uh uh

0:31:32.560 --> 0:31:40.320
<v Speaker 1>checked off right? You know, uh, your your relationships, personal achievements, respect,

0:31:40.400 --> 0:31:42.880
<v Speaker 1>all the all those things versus how much of that

0:31:42.960 --> 0:31:46.120
<v Speaker 1>is bullshit? And you actually just need to sit and

0:31:46.280 --> 0:31:50.360
<v Speaker 1>decide for yourself and your brain that you are happy.

0:31:50.760 --> 0:31:55.880
<v Speaker 1>I don't fucking know. I don't think any scientists knows.

0:31:56.120 --> 0:31:57.840
<v Speaker 1>I think you just kind of struggle to figure it

0:31:57.840 --> 0:32:01.200
<v Speaker 1>out until you die. Maybe.

0:32:01.320 --> 0:32:03.760
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, no, I would agree with that.

0:32:03.840 --> 0:32:05.400
<v Speaker 4>Actually, And now.

0:32:05.320 --> 0:32:08.200
<v Speaker 5>I don't feel the cynical and crazy because you also.

0:32:08.440 --> 0:32:13.840
<v Speaker 1>Think that, well, good, I hope that, I hope. I'm

0:32:13.880 --> 0:32:16.680
<v Speaker 1>glad to hear that my cynicism and craziness is helping

0:32:16.720 --> 0:32:23.240
<v Speaker 1>me feel better about your own. Well, what game are

0:32:23.240 --> 0:32:25.400
<v Speaker 1>you going to stream?

0:32:25.520 --> 0:32:30.040
<v Speaker 5>Oh my gosh, I don't know. I've been playing a

0:32:30.080 --> 0:32:32.360
<v Speaker 5>lot of the Finals, but I'm really bad at that.

0:32:33.280 --> 0:32:35.840
<v Speaker 5>And outside of that, I'm actually trying to find a

0:32:35.880 --> 0:32:39.040
<v Speaker 5>really good, like open world sandbox game, and that's been

0:32:39.080 --> 0:32:41.920
<v Speaker 5>proving pretty difficult because I feel.

0:32:41.680 --> 0:32:44.480
<v Speaker 1>Like I've played all you ever play Red Dead Redemption two,

0:32:46.160 --> 0:32:46.680
<v Speaker 1>you know what.

0:32:46.600 --> 0:32:49.680
<v Speaker 5>I have it, and I feel like I've only played

0:32:49.720 --> 0:32:51.840
<v Speaker 5>maybe three hours of it, and I feel like two

0:32:51.840 --> 0:32:53.720
<v Speaker 5>hours of that was just the intro of the game,

0:32:53.800 --> 0:32:55.560
<v Speaker 5>so I haven't actually played a lot of it.

0:32:55.880 --> 0:32:57.360
<v Speaker 1>Go play that, dude. That game is sick.

0:32:58.520 --> 0:32:59.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:33:00.080 --> 0:33:02.880
<v Speaker 5>I'm waiting for Grant af Auto. I'm hoping that that's

0:33:02.920 --> 0:33:05.720
<v Speaker 5>going to be really good worth the wait hopefully.

0:33:05.840 --> 0:33:08.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah, that's it's a it's a you know, it's

0:33:08.120 --> 0:33:12.120
<v Speaker 1>a good reason to stay alive. It's grand theft. I

0:33:12.280 --> 0:33:17.160
<v Speaker 1>pledge to stay alive until minimum September of twenty twenty five.

0:33:17.200 --> 0:33:18.440
<v Speaker 1>That's when I think it's coming out.

0:33:21.040 --> 0:33:21.280
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

0:33:21.280 --> 0:33:23.400
<v Speaker 5>Well, always that they delay it, i'd be sad.

0:33:23.760 --> 0:33:27.360
<v Speaker 1>What's your name again, Christina? Christina?

0:33:27.520 --> 0:33:27.640
<v Speaker 4>Uh?

0:33:27.800 --> 0:33:29.360
<v Speaker 1>Do you have if you if you want to, you

0:33:29.360 --> 0:33:30.920
<v Speaker 1>can plug your Twitch if you have one.

0:33:32.600 --> 0:33:37.720
<v Speaker 5>I mean, there's absolutely no content on there whatsoever. If

0:33:37.760 --> 0:33:39.760
<v Speaker 5>you guys want to follow me, you're more than welcome

0:33:39.800 --> 0:33:42.800
<v Speaker 5>to It's baked Goods, Underscore.

0:33:43.360 --> 0:33:47.720
<v Speaker 1>Bake baked goods, or space Goods Baked goods.

0:33:47.760 --> 0:33:49.400
<v Speaker 5>So I went through an air of like doing a

0:33:49.400 --> 0:33:52.520
<v Speaker 5>lot of baking and cake creation. That was also actually

0:33:52.520 --> 0:33:55.040
<v Speaker 5>some of the content that I was thinking of making.

0:33:55.640 --> 0:33:57.640
<v Speaker 5>That setup is a little bit more complex than just

0:33:57.680 --> 0:34:01.600
<v Speaker 5>like sitting at your computer, though, so maybe things go right,

0:34:01.680 --> 0:34:04.280
<v Speaker 5>I'll end up doing some cooking the streams and stuff.

0:34:05.240 --> 0:34:09.800
<v Speaker 1>Well, good luck on your on your journey of insanity. Uh,

0:34:10.600 --> 0:34:13.279
<v Speaker 1>you're probably not alone, you know. I mean, if you

0:34:13.320 --> 0:34:16.000
<v Speaker 1>really want, dude, just go on Reddit and if you want,

0:34:16.040 --> 0:34:18.080
<v Speaker 1>if you want, if you any time and this goes,

0:34:18.160 --> 0:34:19.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm not just talking to you, I'm talking to anyone.

0:34:19.960 --> 0:34:25.280
<v Speaker 1>If you want, ever in your life to feel better

0:34:25.320 --> 0:34:30.280
<v Speaker 1>about how insane you are, I guarantee there are many, many,

0:34:30.320 --> 0:34:33.560
<v Speaker 1>many places on the Internet where you can go to

0:34:33.719 --> 0:34:39.919
<v Speaker 1>find essay length manifestos by people who are much much

0:34:40.120 --> 0:34:44.120
<v Speaker 1>crazier than you are, and that might maybe that'll make

0:34:44.160 --> 0:34:45.280
<v Speaker 1>you feel better about yourself.

0:34:46.760 --> 0:34:49.120
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I'm sure that. Well, I'll actually have to look

0:34:49.120 --> 0:34:51.200
<v Speaker 5>into that. And you know, I have one other comment

0:34:51.239 --> 0:34:53.960
<v Speaker 5>that I wanted to make go ahead. You know, you

0:34:54.000 --> 0:34:55.640
<v Speaker 5>asked your like, oh have I talked to you before?

0:34:55.680 --> 0:34:55.879
<v Speaker 4>Right?

0:34:56.200 --> 0:34:59.680
<v Speaker 5>So I called you when you got the sponsored streams

0:35:00.000 --> 0:35:02.080
<v Speaker 5>back in the box. I don't recall if you're still sponsored.

0:35:02.200 --> 0:35:03.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that was a long time ago.

0:35:03.600 --> 0:35:07.000
<v Speaker 5>That was like, yeah, that was a really long time ago.

0:35:07.200 --> 0:35:07.399
<v Speaker 4>Dude.

0:35:07.440 --> 0:35:09.400
<v Speaker 5>I called in and I think I was the last

0:35:09.400 --> 0:35:12.800
<v Speaker 5>caller of that. And the girl I spoke to, she

0:35:12.960 --> 0:35:14.520
<v Speaker 5>was like, you know, what do you want to talk about?

0:35:14.560 --> 0:35:17.160
<v Speaker 5>And I wanted to tell you this story of how

0:35:17.160 --> 0:35:20.680
<v Speaker 5>we got completely oblivery that when I was in California,

0:35:20.719 --> 0:35:23.359
<v Speaker 5>and she was just like, ooh, you can't say any

0:35:23.360 --> 0:35:26.440
<v Speaker 5>of that stuff. She's like, it's a sponsored room. We

0:35:26.480 --> 0:35:28.840
<v Speaker 5>have to be really careful what we say. Your whole

0:35:29.000 --> 0:35:32.840
<v Speaker 5>chat thought that I was like an advertising bot, Like,

0:35:32.960 --> 0:35:35.719
<v Speaker 5>there's no way this story is real because I had

0:35:35.719 --> 0:35:38.560
<v Speaker 5>to send through the entire thing. So anybody here remembers

0:35:38.600 --> 0:35:42.520
<v Speaker 5>that was not paid. There was a lot of context

0:35:42.560 --> 0:35:44.880
<v Speaker 5>in that story. I could not say, but public you

0:35:44.920 --> 0:35:48.120
<v Speaker 5>still have the sponsorship, you know, awesome for you, Lyle,

0:35:48.520 --> 0:35:51.680
<v Speaker 5>but thanks for the conversation. I really appreciate it, and

0:35:51.920 --> 0:35:52.719
<v Speaker 5>you know, have.

0:35:52.760 --> 0:35:53.720
<v Speaker 4>A great day, dude.

0:35:54.040 --> 0:35:57.759
<v Speaker 1>Thank you, Christina. Yeah, you know, okay, cool, I wrote

0:35:57.760 --> 0:35:59.200
<v Speaker 1>it all right, Thank you, Christina. Have a good one.

0:35:59.239 --> 0:36:02.840
<v Speaker 1>I good luck on your streaming journey.

0:36:03.320 --> 0:36:04.680
<v Speaker 4>Thanks dud.

0:36:08.560 --> 0:36:12.320
<v Speaker 1>You know, so it's funny. I used to I actually

0:36:12.480 --> 0:36:16.160
<v Speaker 1>I've flipped on this and this is not uh well,

0:36:16.200 --> 0:36:19.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm this is not a story of me being like, uh,

0:36:19.239 --> 0:36:20.799
<v Speaker 1>this is not like a whole like I am an

0:36:20.840 --> 0:36:26.520
<v Speaker 1>impath fucking thing. But I used to like be able

0:36:26.560 --> 0:36:28.440
<v Speaker 1>to go on you know, you can go on like

0:36:28.560 --> 0:36:31.759
<v Speaker 1>r slash depression or ur slash like. There's plenty of

0:36:31.800 --> 0:36:37.760
<v Speaker 1>internet communities where you can go to basically read stories

0:36:37.800 --> 0:36:40.799
<v Speaker 1>from people who are doing way worse than you to

0:36:40.880 --> 0:36:42.560
<v Speaker 1>make you feel better about yourself. And it used to

0:36:42.640 --> 0:36:44.359
<v Speaker 1>making me feel a little bit better. I'm like, Okay,

0:36:44.360 --> 0:36:47.280
<v Speaker 1>at least I'm not doing as badly as this person.

0:36:48.040 --> 0:36:51.040
<v Speaker 1>I've actually gotten a lot of feedback on this podcast

0:36:51.760 --> 0:36:55.719
<v Speaker 1>from people who say that listening to it has made

0:36:55.800 --> 0:37:00.319
<v Speaker 1>them feel better about themselves because they're not doing bad

0:37:00.360 --> 0:37:02.480
<v Speaker 1>as some of the people will call in and I

0:37:04.040 --> 0:37:06.480
<v Speaker 1>swear on my life, this is not me being like, Oh,

0:37:06.520 --> 0:37:14.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm like a cool EmPATH guy. But lately, any lately,

0:37:14.960 --> 0:37:17.600
<v Speaker 1>it's really kind of the script has flipped on me

0:37:18.360 --> 0:37:22.120
<v Speaker 1>in the sense of, like, when I see or read

0:37:22.280 --> 0:37:25.120
<v Speaker 1>or hear or whatever about people doing bad, I really

0:37:25.239 --> 0:37:30.400
<v Speaker 1>no longer think to myself, Oh, at least I'm not

0:37:30.560 --> 0:37:32.680
<v Speaker 1>as bad as this person. I mainly kind of think

0:37:32.719 --> 0:37:35.480
<v Speaker 1>to myself. I mainly kind of think to myself. It

0:37:35.520 --> 0:37:38.440
<v Speaker 1>makes me feel worse. It makes me feel like, oh, no,

0:37:38.760 --> 0:37:45.360
<v Speaker 1>life for most people is I guess, suffering, and so

0:37:45.800 --> 0:37:50.319
<v Speaker 1>I don't know how I can I take like I

0:37:50.320 --> 0:37:55.320
<v Speaker 1>feel bad taking joy in a universe where so many

0:37:55.320 --> 0:38:00.000
<v Speaker 1>people are suffering, not by not because I'm so cool,

0:38:00.200 --> 0:38:02.480
<v Speaker 1>I swear on my life. I'm really not trying to

0:38:02.520 --> 0:38:11.080
<v Speaker 1>be like that, just in this weird way of like,

0:38:12.440 --> 0:38:17.799
<v Speaker 1>why is my life the way it is? And other

0:38:17.880 --> 0:38:23.960
<v Speaker 1>people's lives are terrible? But it kind of also makes

0:38:23.960 --> 0:38:25.480
<v Speaker 1>you feel it makes you feel bad because you're like,

0:38:25.480 --> 0:38:29.360
<v Speaker 1>why am I complaining about this bullshit when other people

0:38:30.480 --> 0:38:35.720
<v Speaker 1>are also have it worse. I don't know. I can't

0:38:35.760 --> 0:38:38.720
<v Speaker 1>explain the shift, but it's shifted from me. It doesn't

0:38:39.080 --> 0:38:44.960
<v Speaker 1>it doesn't feel it doesn't relieve me anymore. I don't

0:38:44.960 --> 0:38:49.040
<v Speaker 1>know why. Actually, you know what, I do know why.

0:38:49.040 --> 0:38:51.400
<v Speaker 1>It's because it's because I am Jesus Christ, and I

0:38:51.440 --> 0:38:56.800
<v Speaker 1>do and I am an EmPATH, and I feel deeply

0:38:56.880 --> 0:39:00.719
<v Speaker 1>the suffering and pain of others. Becau, I'm really cool

0:39:00.760 --> 0:39:04.560
<v Speaker 1>and awesome. Uh, I don't know. I don't know. I

0:39:04.600 --> 0:39:06.560
<v Speaker 1>don't know what I'm saying. We're putting this in the podcast.

0:39:06.640 --> 0:39:09.239
<v Speaker 1>This is going in the podcast. This is going in the.

0:39:09.200 --> 0:39:13.799
<v Speaker 5>Podcast all from.

0:39:13.360 --> 0:39:14.000
<v Speaker 1>What's your name?

0:39:14.920 --> 0:39:17.120
<v Speaker 4>My name is Zach. Holy shit?

0:39:17.480 --> 0:39:18.680
<v Speaker 1>What's up, Zach? How's it going?

0:39:19.719 --> 0:39:22.080
<v Speaker 4>No, dude, you have no idea how much you made

0:39:22.080 --> 0:39:22.919
<v Speaker 4>my day. Holy shit?

0:39:23.040 --> 0:39:26.560
<v Speaker 1>I never thought. Thanks bro? What's going on? Life? What's up?

0:39:26.560 --> 0:39:27.160
<v Speaker 1>What's happening?

0:39:27.280 --> 0:39:30.360
<v Speaker 4>Oh dude, it's been up and down like a roller

0:39:30.360 --> 0:39:32.239
<v Speaker 4>coaster that you don't want to be on. Oh my god.

0:39:32.640 --> 0:39:34.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel that. I feel that,

0:39:34.840 --> 0:39:38.560
<v Speaker 1>I feel that, I feel that I'm excited to talk

0:39:38.560 --> 0:39:41.600
<v Speaker 1>to you. I've you've barely said anything, and I like

0:39:41.680 --> 0:39:44.600
<v Speaker 1>your spirit and I'm not I I swear in my life.

0:39:44.640 --> 0:39:48.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm not just saying that. I I mean it wholeheartedly.

0:39:49.239 --> 0:39:54.120
<v Speaker 4>Thank you man. I called last night and yeah, yeah, yeah,

0:39:54.120 --> 0:39:56.560
<v Speaker 4>I'm just Oh my god, I never thought this was happening.

0:39:56.600 --> 0:39:59.520
<v Speaker 4>You have no idea. Actually called last night and you

0:39:59.600 --> 0:40:01.360
<v Speaker 4>was talking about you know, how you were. I know

0:40:01.400 --> 0:40:03.760
<v Speaker 4>you did not talk about you, but it really uh

0:40:04.280 --> 0:40:06.120
<v Speaker 4>it helped me, you know, because you were talking about it.

0:40:06.160 --> 0:40:08.160
<v Speaker 4>I was like, man, even this guy can feel this

0:40:08.280 --> 0:40:11.040
<v Speaker 4>kind way. You know, we can, we can we can.

0:40:10.960 --> 0:40:13.120
<v Speaker 1>Talk about it for a second. I'll give some context.

0:40:13.400 --> 0:40:17.319
<v Speaker 1>Uh so I will sometimes well so sometimes you know,

0:40:17.800 --> 0:40:21.600
<v Speaker 1>I I I start out my stream before I take

0:40:21.640 --> 0:40:25.000
<v Speaker 1>these phone calls, uh by just talking to the chat

0:40:25.560 --> 0:40:28.640
<v Speaker 1>on Twitch, and I was, uh, I was going on

0:40:28.880 --> 0:40:32.200
<v Speaker 1>I think a half hour rant about being depressed because

0:40:32.200 --> 0:40:37.120
<v Speaker 1>I was very I had a pretty insane weekend of

0:40:37.760 --> 0:40:42.799
<v Speaker 1>a really bad uh depression for you know, a lot

0:40:42.840 --> 0:40:46.640
<v Speaker 1>of reasons. And yeah, it was just really bad. I forget.

0:40:46.760 --> 0:40:48.279
<v Speaker 1>Do you remember what did I do? You remember what

0:40:48.320 --> 0:40:48.720
<v Speaker 1>I said?

0:40:49.360 --> 0:40:52.520
<v Speaker 4>Actually, I'm weird. I took notes because you were making

0:40:52.520 --> 0:40:54.000
<v Speaker 4>some profound or not.

0:40:54.160 --> 0:40:56.440
<v Speaker 1>You took notes, not.

0:40:56.360 --> 0:40:58.080
<v Speaker 4>Like crazy notes, but you were you kept saying at

0:40:58.080 --> 0:40:59.920
<v Speaker 4>the end of the day, and you kept you were

0:41:00.040 --> 0:41:02.120
<v Speaker 4>trying to come up at the end. I was like, god,

0:41:02.719 --> 0:41:03.879
<v Speaker 4>you know, I was like, what did you get said?

0:41:03.920 --> 0:41:05.440
<v Speaker 4>What's he gonna say? I was like, at the end

0:41:05.440 --> 0:41:06.920
<v Speaker 4>of the day, you kept trying to say, like you

0:41:06.920 --> 0:41:08.600
<v Speaker 4>have to be wanting to pick yourself up and stuff.

0:41:08.840 --> 0:41:11.040
<v Speaker 4>And I was just gonna say, like, even if you

0:41:11.080 --> 0:41:12.600
<v Speaker 4>were feeling that way, it was awesome that like you

0:41:12.680 --> 0:41:14.680
<v Speaker 4>still got on the streams, you know, and try to

0:41:14.719 --> 0:41:16.680
<v Speaker 4>make other people feel nice. Because even there was one

0:41:16.680 --> 0:41:19.080
<v Speaker 4>guy that made me feel real good. I was like,

0:41:19.640 --> 0:41:21.279
<v Speaker 4>I'm not gonna lie. Some of them were a little boring,

0:41:21.320 --> 0:41:23.080
<v Speaker 4>but at one guy where you still had his shirt

0:41:23.120 --> 0:41:25.279
<v Speaker 4>from a couple of years ago, that was that was dope. Man.

0:41:25.360 --> 0:41:27.759
<v Speaker 1>Well I saw hold on, hold on, but what what

0:41:27.760 --> 0:41:29.279
<v Speaker 1>what what do you tell me about these notes that

0:41:29.320 --> 0:41:29.719
<v Speaker 1>you took.

0:41:30.680 --> 0:41:34.520
<v Speaker 6>Oh, I have to I'd have to take my off speakerphone,

0:41:34.560 --> 0:41:42.759
<v Speaker 6>speak speakerphone, because on my phone, uh, you were just

0:41:42.800 --> 0:41:47.200
<v Speaker 6>talking about like like at the end of the day,

0:41:47.280 --> 0:41:48.640
<v Speaker 6>you know, you couldn't think the sense.

0:41:48.719 --> 0:41:50.080
<v Speaker 4>I was just gonna say, like, the end of the day,

0:41:50.080 --> 0:41:51.680
<v Speaker 4>you got you got lay in the bed, you made

0:41:51.719 --> 0:41:51.920
<v Speaker 4>you know.

0:41:53.120 --> 0:41:54.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't think I said that.

0:41:55.480 --> 0:41:57.040
<v Speaker 4>No, you didn't say that. I was just thinking of

0:41:57.120 --> 0:41:59.160
<v Speaker 4>like that was something you maybe were trying to get at.

0:42:00.360 --> 0:42:02.040
<v Speaker 1>No. I think oh, no, no, okay, I think what

0:42:02.120 --> 0:42:07.799
<v Speaker 1>I said was damn, I never meant to put this

0:42:07.880 --> 0:42:09.920
<v Speaker 1>in the podcast. Whatever. I think what I said was that,

0:42:10.280 --> 0:42:11.920
<v Speaker 1>do you you like at the end of the day.

0:42:11.920 --> 0:42:13.160
<v Speaker 1>I guess you have to help yourself.

0:42:14.400 --> 0:42:14.800
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

0:42:15.480 --> 0:42:17.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if I mean any I don't know.

0:42:17.080 --> 0:42:18.600
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I don't know if I'm honored that

0:42:18.640 --> 0:42:23.560
<v Speaker 1>you took notes while I was ranting, or it was ranting.

0:42:24.719 --> 0:42:26.440
<v Speaker 4>Another thing. We're just questioned. I would ask like, have

0:42:26.480 --> 0:42:27.280
<v Speaker 4>you ever tried gumbo?

0:42:28.840 --> 0:42:30.360
<v Speaker 1>Uh? Yeah, I've had gumbo?

0:42:31.520 --> 0:42:35.000
<v Speaker 4>Okay, and then some but k Tony said you were

0:42:35.000 --> 0:42:37.440
<v Speaker 4>too uh intimidated. I don't see what you would kill

0:42:37.480 --> 0:42:37.839
<v Speaker 4>it on there?

0:42:37.880 --> 0:42:41.400
<v Speaker 1>Bro, What do you say? Can you ask me that

0:42:41.440 --> 0:42:42.920
<v Speaker 1>in the form of a complete sentence?

0:42:43.880 --> 0:42:47.200
<v Speaker 4>Oh? Sorry, sorry, you know, I just you you were

0:42:47.200 --> 0:42:49.360
<v Speaker 4>too intimidated to go and kill Tony. Someone asked you

0:42:49.400 --> 0:42:50.719
<v Speaker 4>last night on the stream and you were like, oh,

0:42:50.719 --> 0:42:52.880
<v Speaker 4>I'm too intimidated to do that. But I think you oh.

0:42:53.200 --> 0:42:54.959
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well so yeah, someone asked me if I would

0:42:54.960 --> 0:42:59.000
<v Speaker 1>go on kill Tony, and uh, I don't think I would.

0:42:58.760 --> 0:43:04.520
<v Speaker 1>I'd be very intimate dated if I did that. Yeah,

0:43:04.600 --> 0:43:08.680
<v Speaker 1>you know who would be Sorry, go go ahead.

0:43:09.160 --> 0:43:11.040
<v Speaker 4>And then like you were talking about guests that might

0:43:11.040 --> 0:43:14.000
<v Speaker 4>be on. Uh, I would think like a duncan trustle

0:43:14.040 --> 0:43:14.799
<v Speaker 4>You ever heard of him?

0:43:15.239 --> 0:43:17.719
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? No, I've actually i've fuck I've like emailed with

0:43:17.800 --> 0:43:19.120
<v Speaker 1>him a little bit. I want to get him on,

0:43:19.160 --> 0:43:21.120
<v Speaker 1>but he lives the way in Austin. I'll get him

0:43:21.160 --> 0:43:23.399
<v Speaker 1>on eventually. He just he lives in Austin. So it's

0:43:23.480 --> 0:43:23.919
<v Speaker 1>it's kind.

0:43:23.840 --> 0:43:25.799
<v Speaker 4>Of I want to see him in a gecko suit

0:43:25.800 --> 0:43:25.960
<v Speaker 4>and this.

0:43:26.080 --> 0:43:29.200
<v Speaker 1>Be oh my god, Okay, well enough about to me.

0:43:29.400 --> 0:43:30.879
<v Speaker 1>I suck. What's going on with you? Man?

0:43:31.600 --> 0:43:34.400
<v Speaker 4>Uh? It's just up and down, you know the roller coaster. Uh.

0:43:35.320 --> 0:43:37.520
<v Speaker 4>I just you know, I had a good little job,

0:43:37.560 --> 0:43:39.360
<v Speaker 4>you know, wouldn't like, you know, somewhere I want to

0:43:39.360 --> 0:43:42.160
<v Speaker 4>be both you know, good money for you know, decent

0:43:42.200 --> 0:43:44.120
<v Speaker 4>money I was able to live. And then you know,

0:43:44.200 --> 0:43:46.680
<v Speaker 4>that didn't work out. And then I'm working towards getting

0:43:46.680 --> 0:43:51.120
<v Speaker 4>a job, but it's like all the way three hours away,

0:43:51.239 --> 0:43:53.600
<v Speaker 4>and then I've just met a girl and she's closed,

0:43:53.640 --> 0:43:55.680
<v Speaker 4>and then like you know, it would be long long

0:43:55.719 --> 0:43:59.799
<v Speaker 4>distance and it's just as difficult. I would have to

0:43:59.880 --> 0:44:03.640
<v Speaker 4>like you know, staying use all my money to say,

0:44:03.680 --> 0:44:06.800
<v Speaker 4>in a hotel to basically, you know, get this job.

0:44:06.880 --> 0:44:09.640
<v Speaker 4>And stuff, but uh, I don't know. It's just I

0:44:09.640 --> 0:44:11.360
<v Speaker 4>don't know if it's what I want to do or anything.

0:44:11.400 --> 0:44:14.239
<v Speaker 4>You know, just feel like whatever I choose is always wrong.

0:44:14.360 --> 0:44:17.080
<v Speaker 1>You know, what's the old guy? Hold on? What's what's

0:44:17.120 --> 0:44:19.120
<v Speaker 1>back up? What's your name?

0:44:21.040 --> 0:44:21.320
<v Speaker 4>Zach?

0:44:22.160 --> 0:44:23.680
<v Speaker 1>Zach? How old are you? Zach?

0:44:24.600 --> 0:44:25.160
<v Speaker 4>Twenty one?

0:44:25.680 --> 0:44:29.000
<v Speaker 1>Cool? All right? So you got a new job. What's

0:44:29.080 --> 0:44:29.560
<v Speaker 1>the job?

0:44:30.600 --> 0:44:35.640
<v Speaker 4>Uh, it's just like labor work, working for like electrical companies.

0:44:37.480 --> 0:44:40.040
<v Speaker 4>Nothing too fancy. It's not like nothing I really uh

0:44:40.440 --> 0:44:42.880
<v Speaker 4>do too good at, you know all or you know,

0:44:42.920 --> 0:44:45.319
<v Speaker 4>work my way up at. You know. It's not any

0:44:45.400 --> 0:44:47.000
<v Speaker 4>nothing you need a degree for or anything.

0:44:48.320 --> 0:44:54.200
<v Speaker 1>Not bad, not bad. Okay. And so you just met

0:44:54.200 --> 0:44:54.560
<v Speaker 1>a girl.

0:44:55.760 --> 0:44:57.360
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I mean we've been we've been hanging out and

0:44:57.400 --> 0:44:59.719
<v Speaker 4>she's great and like, she's really been here for me.

0:45:00.320 --> 0:45:02.120
<v Speaker 4>It's just to be hard on her for me to

0:45:02.160 --> 0:45:04.759
<v Speaker 4>be away, and it'd be hard on both of us,

0:45:04.760 --> 0:45:07.640
<v Speaker 4>and you know, and then it's just I don't know,

0:45:08.760 --> 0:45:10.200
<v Speaker 4>but it's more better money.

0:45:11.440 --> 0:45:12.200
<v Speaker 1>Where's the job?

0:45:13.320 --> 0:45:16.000
<v Speaker 4>Uh? Three hours away in a Baton rouge.

0:45:17.320 --> 0:45:23.160
<v Speaker 1>Okay. So it's a question of should you leave your

0:45:23.400 --> 0:45:27.240
<v Speaker 1>hometown and your friends and your family and support network

0:45:27.280 --> 0:45:28.760
<v Speaker 1>to go get more money.

0:45:29.360 --> 0:45:31.879
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, And it's also like a travel job, so it'd

0:45:31.920 --> 0:45:33.880
<v Speaker 4>be like I'd be Matt Rufe for a little bit,

0:45:33.880 --> 0:45:36.000
<v Speaker 4>and it's gonna go somewhere else and somewhere else and

0:45:36.120 --> 0:45:39.359
<v Speaker 4>somewhere else. That's one thing I didn't mention, but there's

0:45:39.400 --> 0:45:42.440
<v Speaker 4>other things on top of that. I just I know

0:45:42.560 --> 0:45:46.080
<v Speaker 4>a lot of people. I mean, I don't know. The

0:45:46.200 --> 0:45:48.719
<v Speaker 4>job is really not something i'd be worried about. It's like,

0:45:49.280 --> 0:45:50.840
<v Speaker 4>I mean, I don't want to go in too much detail,

0:45:50.880 --> 0:45:55.120
<v Speaker 4>but like, fuck are you saying my name? Never mind?

0:45:57.440 --> 0:45:59.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, dude, people are really gonna be able to find

0:45:59.239 --> 0:46:01.520
<v Speaker 1>out who you are. You know, because you said the

0:46:01.680 --> 0:46:07.719
<v Speaker 1>name was Zach. You've got a lot of personal information

0:46:07.840 --> 0:46:09.959
<v Speaker 1>here yet to be careful.

0:46:09.600 --> 0:46:13.280
<v Speaker 4>About that, You're right. I just I'm just struggling with addiction.

0:46:13.400 --> 0:46:17.319
<v Speaker 1>Not gonna lie, Okay, all right? What uh? What's what's

0:46:17.360 --> 0:46:17.840
<v Speaker 1>the poison?

0:46:19.320 --> 0:46:22.360
<v Speaker 4>I mean, I must I mean, I must sound corny,

0:46:22.480 --> 0:46:24.200
<v Speaker 4>but like a lot of people say they can't be

0:46:24.200 --> 0:46:26.120
<v Speaker 4>addicted to weed, but I mean it really has like

0:46:26.480 --> 0:46:27.440
<v Speaker 4>run my life, you know.

0:46:27.560 --> 0:46:29.399
<v Speaker 1>No, no, no, no, no, no, it's not corny at.

0:46:29.360 --> 0:46:33.120
<v Speaker 4>All, you know, I just I feel corny whenever I

0:46:33.160 --> 0:46:35.440
<v Speaker 4>say it, but like it really has run my life.

0:46:35.480 --> 0:46:38.200
<v Speaker 1>You know. I mean it's like, well, it's funny because

0:46:38.200 --> 0:46:40.920
<v Speaker 1>you can absolutely totally be addicted to weed. It's just

0:46:40.960 --> 0:46:44.080
<v Speaker 1>it's like, but they just kind of yassified weed. It's

0:46:44.120 --> 0:46:47.120
<v Speaker 1>like if they made socks with heroin needles on them

0:46:47.160 --> 0:46:49.880
<v Speaker 1>and sold them at the mall, then people are like,

0:46:49.920 --> 0:46:51.960
<v Speaker 1>you can't get addicted to heroin. Seth Rogan does it.

0:46:52.160 --> 0:46:52.680
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:46:52.719 --> 0:46:54.440
<v Speaker 4>I almost feel like a bitch if I say like, oh,

0:46:54.480 --> 0:46:55.520
<v Speaker 4>I'm addicted to weed, you.

0:46:55.520 --> 0:46:59.560
<v Speaker 1>Know, yeah, but no, it's a totally it's a thing.

0:47:02.520 --> 0:47:04.359
<v Speaker 1>So how long have you been smoking? For?

0:47:05.880 --> 0:47:06.040
<v Speaker 3>Man?

0:47:06.040 --> 0:47:09.280
<v Speaker 4>It's good sounds sad. I didn't grow up too too well,

0:47:09.320 --> 0:47:12.399
<v Speaker 4>but uh, this focus was I was like twelve thirteen, all.

0:47:12.440 --> 0:47:17.440
<v Speaker 1>Right, all right, No, weed is totally addictive. I've tried

0:47:17.480 --> 0:47:19.560
<v Speaker 1>to convince myself that it is. And I was talking.

0:47:19.600 --> 0:47:21.560
<v Speaker 1>I was tweaking the other day because I and I

0:47:21.719 --> 0:47:23.960
<v Speaker 1>needed to smoke, and I was like, oh, this is

0:47:24.000 --> 0:47:27.120
<v Speaker 1>not good. This is like it's definitely a physical, physical,

0:47:29.520 --> 0:47:32.200
<v Speaker 1>physically addictive things about it. Even if like you know,

0:47:32.280 --> 0:47:34.160
<v Speaker 1>your cousin wants to tell you that he read on

0:47:34.239 --> 0:47:38.080
<v Speaker 1>Reddit that weed is actually uh not addictive and awesome

0:47:38.120 --> 0:47:45.000
<v Speaker 1>and uh, you know cures all diseases. They're wrong. I

0:47:45.040 --> 0:47:49.239
<v Speaker 1>say that as I say that as a daily weed smoker. Yeah,

0:47:49.400 --> 0:47:51.640
<v Speaker 1>but anyway, I go ahead.

0:47:51.920 --> 0:47:53.759
<v Speaker 4>How you said it could cure meta, it can like

0:47:53.840 --> 0:47:56.000
<v Speaker 4>it could be treated as a medicine, just like how

0:47:56.040 --> 0:47:58.879
<v Speaker 4>opious and stuff is. If they're not abused, they can't help,

0:47:59.000 --> 0:48:01.959
<v Speaker 4>you know, like a you know, pain pills and stuff.

0:48:02.000 --> 0:48:03.480
<v Speaker 4>If they're not abused, if you actually got in a

0:48:03.520 --> 0:48:05.600
<v Speaker 4>car wreck and actually need pain pills, you're not abusing them.

0:48:05.680 --> 0:48:08.520
<v Speaker 4>They actually do help you. You know, you can't abuse week.

0:48:08.600 --> 0:48:11.200
<v Speaker 4>That's how. And I've been abusing it, you know, I

0:48:11.360 --> 0:48:14.480
<v Speaker 4>just because I I I've had a bad day. I

0:48:14.520 --> 0:48:16.000
<v Speaker 4>need to smoke a blunt. I had a good day.

0:48:16.000 --> 0:48:17.759
<v Speaker 4>Oh let's celebrate with the blunt. You know, I just

0:48:17.880 --> 0:48:19.280
<v Speaker 4>whatever breezon to smoke.

0:48:20.080 --> 0:48:23.920
<v Speaker 1>M hmmmm, Well it's okay, Let's go back to your

0:48:24.000 --> 0:48:30.839
<v Speaker 1>job thing. Because I have some thoughts on it, and

0:48:30.880 --> 0:48:35.600
<v Speaker 1>they kind of can go either way, right because I think, uh, like,

0:48:35.760 --> 0:48:40.759
<v Speaker 1>when you're like young, part of me wants to be like,

0:48:41.239 --> 0:48:44.560
<v Speaker 1>you know, for right now, when you're young and you're

0:48:44.560 --> 0:48:47.920
<v Speaker 1>like when you're twenty one, I'm kind of like chase

0:48:48.080 --> 0:48:51.960
<v Speaker 1>the money and chase uh, the career for as long

0:48:52.040 --> 0:48:56.120
<v Speaker 1>as you can, so that you can like set yourself

0:48:56.239 --> 0:48:59.880
<v Speaker 1>up a little bit better. And also, like, you know,

0:49:00.239 --> 0:49:04.160
<v Speaker 1>when you're like whatever, when you're in your fucking forties

0:49:04.200 --> 0:49:06.960
<v Speaker 1>and you have a family, you know, you don't want

0:49:06.960 --> 0:49:10.840
<v Speaker 1>to leave your family to move, you know, across the

0:49:10.880 --> 0:49:13.640
<v Speaker 1>country or three hours away or whatever it is to

0:49:13.719 --> 0:49:18.759
<v Speaker 1>uproot your life, right but right now you know you

0:49:18.800 --> 0:49:24.800
<v Speaker 1>can kind of handle uprooting your life a little bit better. Yeah,

0:49:24.840 --> 0:49:27.480
<v Speaker 1>But also that being said, you know, I've kind of

0:49:27.880 --> 0:49:31.880
<v Speaker 1>I feel at this point, I've ridden a bit of

0:49:31.920 --> 0:49:37.440
<v Speaker 1>a roller coaster that has landed me on the conclusion that,

0:49:37.640 --> 0:49:40.080
<v Speaker 1>you know, your friends and family and your network are

0:49:40.640 --> 0:49:44.759
<v Speaker 1>the most important thing in your entire life. They're more

0:49:44.800 --> 0:49:47.080
<v Speaker 1>important than money, and they're more important than career.

0:49:49.520 --> 0:49:50.000
<v Speaker 2>But I.

0:49:52.480 --> 0:49:55.439
<v Speaker 1>Think that you kind of have to ride. You might

0:49:55.560 --> 0:49:57.480
<v Speaker 1>have to ride the roller coaster to get there. I

0:49:57.480 --> 0:50:02.400
<v Speaker 1>don't know. I'm terrified talking to you because you've taken

0:50:02.520 --> 0:50:06.640
<v Speaker 1>notes on things that I've said, no, no, I saw,

0:50:06.680 --> 0:50:09.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I'm I'm so I'm terrified. I'm terrified talking

0:50:09.719 --> 0:50:11.399
<v Speaker 1>to you because I think you're actually going to listen

0:50:11.440 --> 0:50:11.680
<v Speaker 1>to me.

0:50:13.200 --> 0:50:15.880
<v Speaker 4>No, it was just last things you said last night,

0:50:15.880 --> 0:50:17.560
<v Speaker 4>because I was like, it was like mostly questions.

0:50:17.600 --> 0:50:22.200
<v Speaker 1>I would ask if I did get on sure, sure, sure, And.

0:50:22.120 --> 0:50:23.759
<v Speaker 4>It was just like that one thing where you were like,

0:50:23.800 --> 0:50:25.279
<v Speaker 4>at the end of the day, you got to be

0:50:25.320 --> 0:50:26.279
<v Speaker 4>the one to do it, you know.

0:50:27.600 --> 0:50:32.080
<v Speaker 1>I think so well. I was talking about therapy because

0:50:32.160 --> 0:50:34.840
<v Speaker 1>I've I've been, you know, in a lot of therapy

0:50:34.880 --> 0:50:37.759
<v Speaker 1>and and I've been kind of like, how come you know,

0:50:37.960 --> 0:50:41.239
<v Speaker 1>therapy hasn't solved all of my problems. And it's like, well,

0:50:41.360 --> 0:50:42.839
<v Speaker 1>because you have to at the end of the day,

0:50:42.840 --> 0:50:46.440
<v Speaker 1>you have to be the one to fucking like do stuff.

0:50:46.480 --> 0:50:49.240
<v Speaker 4>You know, yeah you can. It was just so funny.

0:50:49.239 --> 0:50:51.440
<v Speaker 4>I was You're just kept saying at the end of

0:50:51.440 --> 0:50:53.800
<v Speaker 4>the day, we'll messing works some people think at the

0:50:53.840 --> 0:50:56.640
<v Speaker 4>end of the day. And I was just like, okay, yeah.

0:50:56.400 --> 0:51:00.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm a fucking spaz dude. I don't know how I

0:51:00.160 --> 0:51:01.880
<v Speaker 1>ever got to do a podcast.

0:51:02.960 --> 0:51:04.600
<v Speaker 4>No. I love it, bro we all like it. We

0:51:04.640 --> 0:51:05.279
<v Speaker 4>all do well.

0:51:05.320 --> 0:51:07.480
<v Speaker 1>Thanks. Thanks man, you have a good energy. By the way,

0:51:07.560 --> 0:51:12.160
<v Speaker 1>I think I I'm not just saying this, I think

0:51:12.160 --> 0:51:14.080
<v Speaker 1>you'll be okay no matter what you do. You seem

0:51:14.160 --> 0:51:16.680
<v Speaker 1>like a bright, positive person.

0:51:17.840 --> 0:51:20.759
<v Speaker 4>Hell yeah, hell yeah, I know. I know. I'm a

0:51:20.800 --> 0:51:23.080
<v Speaker 4>fas too. You ever heard of Meat Canyon? He would

0:51:23.120 --> 0:51:24.480
<v Speaker 4>do awesome on your podcast. I don't know if you

0:51:25.000 --> 0:51:27.400
<v Speaker 4>like Yeah, yeah, you ever seen like his other YouTube

0:51:27.480 --> 0:51:29.560
<v Speaker 4>channel where it's not like it's like most of his

0:51:29.640 --> 0:51:32.280
<v Speaker 4>face is not his cartoons, he like reviews crazy stuff.

0:51:32.760 --> 0:51:34.000
<v Speaker 1>No, I know who. I know who that is, and

0:51:34.040 --> 0:51:39.160
<v Speaker 1>I like his I like his animations a lot. Uh yeah,

0:51:39.360 --> 0:51:41.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I I really enjoy being in my

0:51:42.000 --> 0:51:45.759
<v Speaker 1>own little court. I feel like a lot of like YouTubers,

0:51:45.760 --> 0:51:48.359
<v Speaker 1>they're like interconnected and that's kind of their whole thing.

0:51:48.400 --> 0:51:50.960
<v Speaker 1>It's like the it's like whatever. I like being in

0:51:51.000 --> 0:51:52.960
<v Speaker 1>my own I like having my own little piece of

0:51:53.000 --> 0:51:56.200
<v Speaker 1>real estate in this weird corner of the internet. I

0:51:56.200 --> 0:51:58.200
<v Speaker 1>don't know if I want to go to the high

0:51:58.239 --> 0:52:01.320
<v Speaker 1>school dance and.

0:52:01.600 --> 0:52:06.279
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I understand. How How do you feel how big

0:52:06.360 --> 0:52:08.080
<v Speaker 4>of a like deal with or whenever you got? Like,

0:52:08.239 --> 0:52:10.520
<v Speaker 4>I don't know, the biggest name I can think of

0:52:10.680 --> 0:52:12.799
<v Speaker 4>is like a Dojah when you choose on, Like, how

0:52:12.880 --> 0:52:14.760
<v Speaker 4>was that feeling whenever you're like, oh my god, Dose's

0:52:14.800 --> 0:52:15.200
<v Speaker 4>coming on?

0:52:16.400 --> 0:52:17.080
<v Speaker 5>Uh?

0:52:17.120 --> 0:52:19.520
<v Speaker 1>It was cool? She's cool. She was great, it was

0:52:19.560 --> 0:52:23.120
<v Speaker 1>it was here's here's the thing, man, And this kind

0:52:23.120 --> 0:52:24.920
<v Speaker 1>of rides back to the roller coaster that I was.

0:52:25.080 --> 0:52:27.160
<v Speaker 1>This is actually all everything you're asking me right now.

0:52:27.360 --> 0:52:31.000
<v Speaker 1>It ties back in to, I think what you're talking about,

0:52:31.320 --> 0:52:35.640
<v Speaker 1>all of these like big career things like getting a

0:52:35.640 --> 0:52:38.640
<v Speaker 1>big guest on your podcast, or getting a vice thing,

0:52:38.880 --> 0:52:46.560
<v Speaker 1>or getting a you know it's what a billion views

0:52:46.600 --> 0:52:51.120
<v Speaker 1>on a video, or getting to play this cool festival.

0:52:51.160 --> 0:52:54.480
<v Speaker 1>They're getting to do this cool thing. It's all really

0:52:55.040 --> 0:53:02.160
<v Speaker 1>really cool, amazing stuff, do not get me wrong. And

0:53:02.280 --> 0:53:05.200
<v Speaker 1>it's all been awesome. And I've gotten to ride a

0:53:05.239 --> 0:53:11.680
<v Speaker 1>really great and beautiful roller coaster, uh and have really

0:53:11.719 --> 0:53:15.520
<v Speaker 1>great experiences and all these things. But I'm gonna say funk,

0:53:15.520 --> 0:53:17.359
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna say it. You caught me now now you're

0:53:17.360 --> 0:53:18.759
<v Speaker 1>making me feel like a piece of ship. But at

0:53:18.760 --> 0:53:24.600
<v Speaker 1>the end of the day, at the end of the day,

0:53:25.840 --> 0:53:31.880
<v Speaker 1>all that really matters is like what are you doing?

0:53:33.080 --> 0:53:35.160
<v Speaker 1>You know what I you know what I mean. It's

0:53:35.239 --> 0:53:39.840
<v Speaker 1>like it's like like however many views you're getting, or

0:53:39.880 --> 0:53:44.640
<v Speaker 1>however many like clouded people are associating with you, like

0:53:44.680 --> 0:53:48.840
<v Speaker 1>what do you fucking what are you actually doing? What

0:53:48.880 --> 0:53:53.080
<v Speaker 1>are you actually making or creating or doing with your

0:53:53.160 --> 0:53:54.320
<v Speaker 1>life and your time?

0:53:55.160 --> 0:53:59.080
<v Speaker 6>You know what I'm saying, That's what I'm the right now,

0:53:59.320 --> 0:54:02.160
<v Speaker 6>right now, what I'm actually doing is talking to you.

0:54:02.840 --> 0:54:04.920
<v Speaker 1>And it's like I can It's like, at the end

0:54:04.920 --> 0:54:08.520
<v Speaker 1>of the day, what I actually do is I do

0:54:08.600 --> 0:54:14.120
<v Speaker 1>this show where I'm talking to people, and uh, whether

0:54:14.400 --> 0:54:18.280
<v Speaker 1>whether there's millions and millions and millions of people listening

0:54:18.280 --> 0:54:23.840
<v Speaker 1>to this or there's twenty, what I am actually doing

0:54:24.560 --> 0:54:25.640
<v Speaker 1>remains the same.

0:54:26.760 --> 0:54:31.080
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I really like it feels like I honestly forgot

0:54:31.120 --> 0:54:32.480
<v Speaker 4>I was even on the podcast to see, like you

0:54:32.520 --> 0:54:37.879
<v Speaker 4>mentioned it, that's kind of crazy. You know, you're able

0:54:37.920 --> 0:54:40.120
<v Speaker 4>to like take take a moment, you know what I mean.

0:54:40.160 --> 0:54:42.480
<v Speaker 4>It's not just a talk show. It feels like a

0:54:42.600 --> 0:54:44.919
<v Speaker 4>I'm talking to a friend and so.

0:54:46.360 --> 0:54:48.560
<v Speaker 1>What the fuck else is I gonna say? You got

0:54:48.560 --> 0:54:51.759
<v Speaker 1>me on? No, no, no, no, you're you're a good dude.

0:54:51.800 --> 0:54:57.319
<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to remember what the fuck I was gonna say. Yeah,

0:54:57.320 --> 0:55:00.640
<v Speaker 1>That's what I've been thinking about, is like, what it's

0:55:00.640 --> 0:55:01.560
<v Speaker 1>like at the end of day, it's like, what are

0:55:01.560 --> 0:55:03.600
<v Speaker 1>you what are you actually doing? I used to do

0:55:04.400 --> 0:55:08.399
<v Speaker 1>a lot of stand up comedy before I started doing this,

0:55:09.239 --> 0:55:11.560
<v Speaker 1>And I think when you're in like the stand up

0:55:11.560 --> 0:55:15.120
<v Speaker 1>comedy universe, you get obsessed with the idea of like

0:55:15.320 --> 0:55:20.400
<v Speaker 1>making it right, or you know of like being again

0:55:20.480 --> 0:55:22.600
<v Speaker 1>in a new like you you know, you dream of

0:55:22.640 --> 0:55:25.239
<v Speaker 1>like being on Netflix one day or this or that

0:55:25.320 --> 0:55:27.680
<v Speaker 1>the other thing, and you kind of like you get

0:55:27.719 --> 0:55:34.880
<v Speaker 1>so I think entangled with the visions of the dream

0:55:35.200 --> 0:55:38.960
<v Speaker 1>of of the results and the outcome of what you're doing,

0:55:39.360 --> 0:55:43.880
<v Speaker 1>that you lose sight of the fact that the only

0:55:44.840 --> 0:55:54.080
<v Speaker 1>real result is just more of the process.

0:55:53.440 --> 0:55:53.640
<v Speaker 4>You know.

0:55:53.680 --> 0:56:00.640
<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm saying. Yeah, Like if you uh, like,

0:56:00.760 --> 0:56:12.480
<v Speaker 1>let's say you you start a TikTok channel making Let's

0:56:12.560 --> 0:56:14.920
<v Speaker 1>let's say you let's say you make a TikTok channel

0:56:15.000 --> 0:56:19.799
<v Speaker 1>making face cams of Keanu Reeves, right, and you're like,

0:56:19.920 --> 0:56:24.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna get famous on TikTok by making Keanu Reeves

0:56:24.640 --> 0:56:29.040
<v Speaker 1>face cam compilation videos. And it's successful. So you know

0:56:29.120 --> 0:56:32.440
<v Speaker 1>what your you know what your reward is. You get

0:56:32.480 --> 0:56:38.560
<v Speaker 1>to you get to make more Keanu Reeves facecam videos. Right,

0:56:38.560 --> 0:56:40.719
<v Speaker 1>It's like the reward is just you just get more

0:56:40.719 --> 0:56:45.640
<v Speaker 1>of the process. That's why like big crazy accolades or whatever.

0:56:45.640 --> 0:56:50.200
<v Speaker 1>They don't. They don't actually affect the the thing that

0:56:50.280 --> 0:56:53.400
<v Speaker 1>really matters, which is like what you are actually sitting

0:56:53.440 --> 0:56:55.520
<v Speaker 1>there fucking doing, you know.

0:56:55.440 --> 0:56:57.719
<v Speaker 4>What I mean? Yeah, yeah, I felt like a dumb

0:56:57.760 --> 0:57:00.440
<v Speaker 4>ass of yellow was like the wrong answering class. I said, views,

0:57:00.480 --> 0:57:03.319
<v Speaker 4>and you're talking about the process. That's the whole thing,

0:57:03.400 --> 0:57:07.360
<v Speaker 4>is the process. I keep forgetting, you know, Yeah, I

0:57:07.480 --> 0:57:09.560
<v Speaker 4>was thinking about the end goal and you were teaching

0:57:09.560 --> 0:57:10.959
<v Speaker 4>about me about the process. Geez.

0:57:11.000 --> 0:57:12.880
<v Speaker 1>But well, hold on, I'm not teaching you about anything.

0:57:12.960 --> 0:57:16.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm I'm I'm I know, I'm like, I like, this

0:57:16.160 --> 0:57:18.920
<v Speaker 1>is all stuff that I know. But I want you

0:57:18.960 --> 0:57:21.320
<v Speaker 1>to know. I really really want you to know that

0:57:21.760 --> 0:57:25.120
<v Speaker 1>I am constant this is not and what I'm talking

0:57:25.160 --> 0:57:28.240
<v Speaker 1>to you about are things that I very logically understand

0:57:28.280 --> 0:57:35.240
<v Speaker 1>and know and have not internalized and successfully added into

0:57:35.240 --> 0:57:39.040
<v Speaker 1>my life in any way because I am still significantly

0:57:39.080 --> 0:57:43.200
<v Speaker 1>a results based thinker. I am constantly thinking. I'm like, okay,

0:57:43.400 --> 0:57:46.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm still I'm still constantly thinking about milestones. I'm still

0:57:46.120 --> 0:57:48.480
<v Speaker 1>constantly thinking like, Okay, well, once I get here, then

0:57:48.480 --> 0:57:50.120
<v Speaker 1>I can do this, and then once this this happens,

0:57:50.120 --> 0:57:51.840
<v Speaker 1>and this and then once this and then this which

0:57:51.880 --> 0:57:55.040
<v Speaker 1>is and and which goes in and complete the way

0:57:55.080 --> 0:57:57.160
<v Speaker 1>I actually think about my life, I think goes in

0:57:57.240 --> 0:58:00.200
<v Speaker 1>complete antithesis to what I'm talking to you about out

0:58:00.280 --> 0:58:04.160
<v Speaker 1>right now. I'm just enjoying reinforcing it to myself by

0:58:04.240 --> 0:58:06.919
<v Speaker 1>talking to you about it. So maybe maybe I should

0:58:06.960 --> 0:58:08.280
<v Speaker 1>be I should be taking notes.

0:58:09.240 --> 0:58:12.280
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, do you ever you ever had a journal or

0:58:12.320 --> 0:58:14.120
<v Speaker 4>ever tried having a journal? Yeah? I have.

0:58:15.400 --> 0:58:17.840
<v Speaker 1>I've been on and off, but I've been keeping a

0:58:17.880 --> 0:58:19.640
<v Speaker 1>journal for like seven years. Maybe.

0:58:19.960 --> 0:58:22.320
<v Speaker 4>Oh well, yeah, I've only been able to do like

0:58:22.360 --> 0:58:24.200
<v Speaker 4>two three days in a row and then like I'll

0:58:24.240 --> 0:58:25.080
<v Speaker 4>this a week. O.

0:58:25.360 --> 0:58:27.480
<v Speaker 1>God, it's not seven years. It's not every day for

0:58:27.520 --> 0:58:31.640
<v Speaker 1>seven years. Jesus. Oh yeah, Okay, what have you been

0:58:31.720 --> 0:58:32.880
<v Speaker 1>journaling about?

0:58:33.120 --> 0:58:34.520
<v Speaker 4>Oh? Just I mean I have to be I mean

0:58:34.520 --> 0:58:36.280
<v Speaker 4>I've gotten I mean I feel like I've gotten a

0:58:36.280 --> 0:58:37.960
<v Speaker 4>little better. Before I felt like a lot of pressure,

0:58:37.960 --> 0:58:39.480
<v Speaker 4>you know, it felt like I had to be a philosopher.

0:58:39.640 --> 0:58:41.000
<v Speaker 4>You know, I had to be fancy, you know, write

0:58:41.160 --> 0:58:43.000
<v Speaker 4>paragraphs and stuff, and you know, I had to be

0:58:43.120 --> 0:58:45.960
<v Speaker 4>detailed and stuff. But then now it's just like you know,

0:58:46.360 --> 0:58:48.000
<v Speaker 4>now I'm just writing, like, you know, four or five

0:58:48.040 --> 0:58:50.080
<v Speaker 4>sentences on how my day went and I feel good.

0:58:50.120 --> 0:58:55.320
<v Speaker 4>You know, does that make sense? Yeah? Yeah, Like before

0:58:55.360 --> 0:58:57.360
<v Speaker 4>it was like I was talking about in the morning,

0:58:57.360 --> 0:58:59.120
<v Speaker 4>I did this and blah blah blah. But now it's

0:58:59.120 --> 0:59:02.560
<v Speaker 4>just like, oh, I saw, you know this pretty bird.

0:59:02.680 --> 0:59:03.960
<v Speaker 4>You know, it made my day.

0:59:06.400 --> 0:59:09.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think I think that's real. I think seeing

0:59:09.760 --> 0:59:12.200
<v Speaker 1>a pretty bird is kind of everything.

0:59:15.440 --> 0:59:18.760
<v Speaker 4>Yeah. I try to stay positive, you know, it's just

0:59:18.800 --> 0:59:21.520
<v Speaker 4>a I don't know, it's just whenever, you know, at

0:59:21.560 --> 0:59:23.320
<v Speaker 4>the end of the day, you know, it's hard to

0:59:23.360 --> 0:59:26.240
<v Speaker 4>stay positive whenever. You know, I live in my own

0:59:26.360 --> 0:59:28.680
<v Speaker 4>you know, I don't have a roommate or anything. I

0:59:28.720 --> 0:59:34.400
<v Speaker 4>live in a shitty trailer. It's a crazy you know,

0:59:35.360 --> 0:59:38.200
<v Speaker 4>just a no good you know. I'm not trying to

0:59:38.240 --> 0:59:39.400
<v Speaker 4>you know, get.

0:59:39.440 --> 0:59:44.640
<v Speaker 1>Uh you live in a trailer.

0:59:45.680 --> 0:59:47.360
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I live in a like a trailer park or

0:59:47.360 --> 0:59:48.040
<v Speaker 4>city trailer.

0:59:48.400 --> 0:59:49.640
<v Speaker 1>Do you and you live by yourself?

0:59:50.680 --> 0:59:51.320
<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

0:59:51.600 --> 0:59:54.720
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I mean here's the thing. You live way

0:59:54.760 --> 0:59:58.440
<v Speaker 1>better than most people in New York City.

0:59:59.440 --> 1:00:00.680
<v Speaker 4>Oh yeah, guess you're right.

1:00:03.280 --> 1:00:04.920
<v Speaker 1>What I mean, do you have do you have a lot?

1:00:04.920 --> 1:00:08.520
<v Speaker 1>Do you have like? Uh, do you have space in

1:00:08.600 --> 1:00:09.960
<v Speaker 1>the trailer to be a person?

1:00:11.160 --> 1:00:15.200
<v Speaker 4>I mean it's a one bedroom of one, you know, uh,

1:00:15.520 --> 1:00:17.720
<v Speaker 4>like a living room and stuff. But it's just like

1:00:18.000 --> 1:00:22.120
<v Speaker 4>there's no central air. My uh, washing dry don't work,

1:00:22.200 --> 1:00:23.760
<v Speaker 4>so I have to go to the laundry. Matt. Uh,

1:00:24.200 --> 1:00:30.480
<v Speaker 4>my icebox doesn't have a light bulb. Uh, there's no doors.

1:00:30.800 --> 1:00:33.920
<v Speaker 4>It's just am I sound like a negative Nancy? You

1:00:33.920 --> 1:00:35.919
<v Speaker 4>know you brought up a good point on living better

1:00:35.960 --> 1:00:39.560
<v Speaker 4>than a lot of people, you know.

1:00:39.800 --> 1:00:45.680
<v Speaker 1>I I man, yeah, I it's I feel so perceived

1:00:45.800 --> 1:00:49.440
<v Speaker 1>talking to you. I I normally I I it's funny

1:00:49.440 --> 1:00:51.880
<v Speaker 1>because again I do a show where I know that

1:00:52.040 --> 1:00:54.720
<v Speaker 1>I put these out and people listen to them. But

1:00:54.920 --> 1:00:58.080
<v Speaker 1>in talking to specifically you, it's the only time I

1:00:58.120 --> 1:01:02.080
<v Speaker 1>feel perceived perceived.

1:01:02.360 --> 1:01:05.120
<v Speaker 4>Can you receive? Okay?

1:01:05.280 --> 1:01:07.000
<v Speaker 1>You know you know what the word perceived means?

1:01:07.080 --> 1:01:12.680
<v Speaker 4>Right? Oh? Like scene? I mean yeah, maybe, okay, That's

1:01:12.680 --> 1:01:16.720
<v Speaker 4>what I'm thinking of, perceived eyes you know scene? Yeah? Right? Yeah.

1:01:17.240 --> 1:01:18.880
<v Speaker 1>Do you own the trailer or do you rented it?

1:01:19.320 --> 1:01:22.680
<v Speaker 4>No? No, I'm definitely renting this piece of ship. No.

1:01:23.320 --> 1:01:26.360
<v Speaker 4>I uh, I rented for six hundred a month. And

1:01:28.200 --> 1:01:29.160
<v Speaker 4>that was a little rude.

1:01:29.520 --> 1:01:31.800
<v Speaker 1>I mean, what what do you mean that? Why was what? What?

1:01:31.800 --> 1:01:34.080
<v Speaker 1>What in any shape or form was rude about what

1:01:34.120 --> 1:01:34.600
<v Speaker 1>you just said.

1:01:34.960 --> 1:01:37.400
<v Speaker 4>Oh, I just my bad. I'm I'm from the down South,

1:01:37.440 --> 1:01:40.000
<v Speaker 4>so sometimes interview cussin, you know, I just you know,

1:01:40.040 --> 1:01:41.760
<v Speaker 4>I felt like I was rude saying that, like this

1:01:41.800 --> 1:01:42.320
<v Speaker 4>piece of ship?

1:01:42.800 --> 1:01:46.240
<v Speaker 1>Have you have you ever listened to this show?

1:01:47.080 --> 1:01:48.560
<v Speaker 4>Yes? I have, Yes, I have, and there's been some

1:01:48.600 --> 1:01:49.320
<v Speaker 4>crazy people.

1:01:49.720 --> 1:01:53.680
<v Speaker 1>Okay, you can say ship, you can say yeah, cut,

1:01:53.880 --> 1:01:55.360
<v Speaker 1>you can say whatever you want.

1:01:56.320 --> 1:01:58.439
<v Speaker 4>Oh that sounds like a nails on a talkboard down here?

1:01:59.680 --> 1:02:01.040
<v Speaker 1>What okay? Where do you stay?

1:02:01.080 --> 1:02:02.960
<v Speaker 4>To you in Louisiana?

1:02:03.680 --> 1:02:12.120
<v Speaker 1>Okay, dude, I'm really like, I I'm not again, I'm

1:02:12.120 --> 1:02:15.120
<v Speaker 1>not saying this to Yankee or fucking whatever. I'm really

1:02:15.160 --> 1:02:18.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm not worried about you at all. You have a

1:02:18.360 --> 1:02:22.920
<v Speaker 1>good uh uh you see. You really seem like you're gonna.

1:02:22.640 --> 1:02:25.120
<v Speaker 4>Be all right. Well, it's I don't know, you have

1:02:25.160 --> 1:02:26.760
<v Speaker 4>no idea. I was laying in bed, you know, just

1:02:26.960 --> 1:02:30.320
<v Speaker 4>uh you know, you know, like a potato, I guess.

1:02:30.480 --> 1:02:32.360
<v Speaker 4>And then as soon as whenever, I was like hello,

1:02:32.600 --> 1:02:35.200
<v Speaker 4>and it wasn't like a you know, the hello, this

1:02:35.280 --> 1:02:37.440
<v Speaker 4>is Sarah the gecko. The line is either busy you know.

1:02:37.440 --> 1:02:39.520
<v Speaker 4>I didn't hear that after the hello, I was like,

1:02:39.720 --> 1:02:42.080
<v Speaker 4>oh my god, it's him, so like you just you

1:02:42.200 --> 1:02:43.840
<v Speaker 4>bothed me out of bed man, like I was, I

1:02:43.880 --> 1:02:45.479
<v Speaker 4>was shaking for a good minute. You have no idea.

1:02:45.520 --> 1:02:46.360
<v Speaker 4>You really made my day.

1:02:47.240 --> 1:02:52.000
<v Speaker 1>So okay, so you're you're I want to talk more

1:02:52.040 --> 1:03:00.280
<v Speaker 1>about your dilemma about Baton Rouge. Yeah, what do you

1:03:00.280 --> 1:03:00.960
<v Speaker 1>think you're gonna do?

1:03:02.720 --> 1:03:05.480
<v Speaker 4>Well, I'm not too sure because it's just like a

1:03:05.600 --> 1:03:08.560
<v Speaker 4>situation of like the I have a dog too, you know,

1:03:08.640 --> 1:03:10.840
<v Speaker 4>I say, I'm alone, It's just me and my buddy

1:03:10.880 --> 1:03:16.600
<v Speaker 4>the names Johnny Cash. Yeah, he's he's awesome. He's sitting

1:03:16.640 --> 1:03:19.200
<v Speaker 4>here right next to me. He's up my butt. But

1:03:19.400 --> 1:03:22.960
<v Speaker 4>uh uh, I'm just worried about him. You know, I

1:03:23.400 --> 1:03:25.080
<v Speaker 4>have to find a hotel where he can come with me.

1:03:25.160 --> 1:03:26.960
<v Speaker 4>I'm you know, I'm not leaving my dog anywhere. You know,

1:03:27.040 --> 1:03:29.880
<v Speaker 4>he's like my son. I know that's corny. I know

1:03:29.920 --> 1:03:33.360
<v Speaker 4>I keep saying that, but uh and then you know,

1:03:33.440 --> 1:03:36.400
<v Speaker 4>I go go to a hotel and you know, figure

1:03:36.400 --> 1:03:41.320
<v Speaker 4>that out pretty much all my money. Uh then wait

1:03:41.360 --> 1:03:43.360
<v Speaker 4>for my check and then see where we go from there.

1:03:43.400 --> 1:03:46.320
<v Speaker 4>I think the next next one is like a couple

1:03:46.400 --> 1:03:49.520
<v Speaker 4>more hours away, and it's just It's scary, you know,

1:03:49.600 --> 1:03:53.400
<v Speaker 4>because you know, I'm I live on my own and

1:03:53.400 --> 1:03:55.280
<v Speaker 4>stuff with like my mom. You know, I can go

1:03:55.320 --> 1:03:58.120
<v Speaker 4>to my mom or my dad's house if I don't

1:03:58.120 --> 1:04:00.240
<v Speaker 4>want to cook dinner or eat I say cookednn eat

1:04:00.240 --> 1:04:03.480
<v Speaker 4>a hot pocket that night, you know, Uh, you know

1:04:03.480 --> 1:04:03.800
<v Speaker 4>what I mean.

1:04:04.720 --> 1:04:05.919
<v Speaker 1>Mm hmmm mm hmm.

1:04:06.240 --> 1:04:09.320
<v Speaker 4>It's just if I move, It's just like where I

1:04:09.360 --> 1:04:11.040
<v Speaker 4>say move, if I go on the road, it's just

1:04:11.680 --> 1:04:15.280
<v Speaker 4>we're gonna just go home or go to the hotel

1:04:15.400 --> 1:04:16.320
<v Speaker 4>or wherever I'm at.

1:04:17.240 --> 1:04:19.160
<v Speaker 1>I'll able to can I ask you what is your

1:04:19.200 --> 1:04:21.240
<v Speaker 1>what's your ultimate dream? Like if you could do anything,

1:04:21.240 --> 1:04:21.800
<v Speaker 1>what would you do?

1:04:23.040 --> 1:04:27.920
<v Speaker 4>I mean my ultimate dream? Honestly, I mean that's a

1:04:27.920 --> 1:04:30.240
<v Speaker 4>hard question because like that I've been asking myself that

1:04:30.280 --> 1:04:37.400
<v Speaker 4>too recently. I just dang, you hit me, hit me hard,

1:04:37.440 --> 1:04:42.439
<v Speaker 4>get go. I'm sorry if I just get taken a second. Sorry, Yeah,

1:04:44.200 --> 1:04:51.320
<v Speaker 4>ultimate dream? Uh ship, I don't know. I guess it's

1:04:51.400 --> 1:04:54.280
<v Speaker 4>just uh like my ultimate dream, no matter like what

1:04:54.480 --> 1:04:56.880
<v Speaker 4>job I have, what I've done in my life, I

1:04:56.920 --> 1:04:59.080
<v Speaker 4>want to be able to like leave something for my

1:04:59.200 --> 1:05:01.920
<v Speaker 4>kids because my parent aren't able to do that for

1:05:02.000 --> 1:05:05.160
<v Speaker 4>me and my family, you know, Uh, I'm not talking

1:05:05.160 --> 1:05:07.280
<v Speaker 4>bad to my parents. They've really done better now with

1:05:07.320 --> 1:05:09.280
<v Speaker 4>their life. But like the only thing they own is

1:05:09.280 --> 1:05:11.280
<v Speaker 4>a car, you know, and they rent and stuff and

1:05:11.320 --> 1:05:13.240
<v Speaker 4>there's nothing wrong with that. But I want to be

1:05:13.280 --> 1:05:16.120
<v Speaker 4>able to, you know, leave a house or something for

1:05:16.240 --> 1:05:21.440
<v Speaker 4>my kids, or leave something for you know, future. That

1:05:21.520 --> 1:05:24.320
<v Speaker 4>makes sense. That's an ultimate dream unless you're asking like

1:05:24.320 --> 1:05:28.640
<v Speaker 4>a job opportunity dream.

1:05:27.400 --> 1:05:30.400
<v Speaker 1>I will, I guess. I guess I'm asking like, what

1:05:30.440 --> 1:05:31.480
<v Speaker 1>do you want to do with your life?

1:05:31.760 --> 1:05:31.960
<v Speaker 4>You know?

1:05:32.160 --> 1:05:35.760
<v Speaker 1>And and I guess you know, a career is an

1:05:35.800 --> 1:05:38.360
<v Speaker 1>important part of that equation, but I guess I'm asking

1:05:38.400 --> 1:05:39.240
<v Speaker 1>about the whole picture.

1:05:40.240 --> 1:05:44.800
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I guess I really I want to travel for

1:05:44.800 --> 1:05:46.920
<v Speaker 4>for sure, because I don't know if you've ever heard

1:05:46.960 --> 1:05:49.200
<v Speaker 4>about Louisiana, but there's really not shit to do here.

1:05:49.280 --> 1:05:52.800
<v Speaker 4>You know, we got a bowling alley and Putt putt.

1:05:52.640 --> 1:05:55.680
<v Speaker 1>And then you know, are you anywhere near New Orleans now?

1:05:56.520 --> 1:05:56.680
<v Speaker 3>So?

1:05:56.960 --> 1:05:59.160
<v Speaker 4>I so Louisiana is a boot I live in like

1:05:59.200 --> 1:06:04.240
<v Speaker 4>the heel, the back of the heel, and uh, it's

1:06:04.280 --> 1:06:06.360
<v Speaker 4>just there's nothing nothing here we already have, Like I

1:06:06.400 --> 1:06:08.480
<v Speaker 4>live close to the beaches, but it's the Gulf of Mexico.

1:06:08.560 --> 1:06:13.120
<v Speaker 4>So it's just not the best and uh, this is

1:06:13.200 --> 1:06:14.520
<v Speaker 4>not ship to do here. So I want to I

1:06:14.720 --> 1:06:17.800
<v Speaker 4>want to travel for sure, but uh, I would have

1:06:17.840 --> 1:06:20.320
<v Speaker 4>to make money to do that first. And I have

1:06:20.440 --> 1:06:22.920
<v Speaker 4>to to make money and get a real job. I

1:06:22.920 --> 1:06:26.160
<v Speaker 4>have to quit smoking weed. And uh it's just a

1:06:26.200 --> 1:06:27.560
<v Speaker 4>bunch of things.

1:06:28.320 --> 1:06:29.560
<v Speaker 1>Where all do you want to travel to?

1:06:30.680 --> 1:06:33.000
<v Speaker 4>I mean, I mean I like to see the United

1:06:33.040 --> 1:06:35.720
<v Speaker 4>States first, you know, that's easy. My aunt, she's a

1:06:35.760 --> 1:06:38.840
<v Speaker 4>my nana. She's a real big inspiration. She after her

1:06:38.880 --> 1:06:41.320
<v Speaker 4>kids moved out and everything, she sold all of her ship,

1:06:41.440 --> 1:06:44.919
<v Speaker 4>moved to Hawaii, you know, and we'll go visit her. Yeah,

1:06:45.040 --> 1:06:45.600
<v Speaker 4>pretty dope.

1:06:45.840 --> 1:06:46.720
<v Speaker 1>Uh, that's pretty dope.

1:06:47.480 --> 1:06:50.439
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, she bought for like five years, they're just living

1:06:50.440 --> 1:06:52.200
<v Speaker 4>on the land, living in tents and ship, you know,

1:06:52.280 --> 1:06:54.120
<v Speaker 4>and they building the house and then they got their

1:06:54.120 --> 1:06:58.280
<v Speaker 4>house built. Shee and this is she's awesome. But I

1:06:58.280 --> 1:06:59.760
<v Speaker 4>don't want to go visit her, you know, and then

1:07:00.040 --> 1:07:03.000
<v Speaker 4>eventually go, you know, I want a corny again, go

1:07:03.040 --> 1:07:04.680
<v Speaker 4>see the Pyramids of Egypt, you know, I want. I

1:07:04.720 --> 1:07:09.400
<v Speaker 4>have to do that, you know, mm hmmmmmm.

1:07:12.440 --> 1:07:18.880
<v Speaker 1>Well I feel like you can do all those things.

1:07:19.480 --> 1:07:20.680
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I know, I know I can't.

1:07:20.720 --> 1:07:23.360
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'm trying to figure out, well, if I if

1:07:23.400 --> 1:07:25.400
<v Speaker 1>I were, if I were you, and that's really your

1:07:25.400 --> 1:07:32.000
<v Speaker 1>goal is to do all those things. I would probably

1:07:33.880 --> 1:07:37.360
<v Speaker 1>see if you can try into how much can I ask?

1:07:37.400 --> 1:07:39.760
<v Speaker 1>How much more money this? If can I can we

1:07:39.800 --> 1:07:41.680
<v Speaker 1>get into some numbers? How much more money is this

1:07:41.760 --> 1:07:42.840
<v Speaker 1>job that's far away?

1:07:44.480 --> 1:07:47.840
<v Speaker 4>So per diem? It's like I would get that's really

1:07:48.000 --> 1:07:50.040
<v Speaker 4>it's the same same amount of money, you know, but

1:07:50.240 --> 1:07:52.920
<v Speaker 4>the per diem is really what the more money it

1:07:52.960 --> 1:07:53.360
<v Speaker 4>comes in?

1:07:53.800 --> 1:07:54.800
<v Speaker 1>What do you mean by that? Uh?

1:07:55.520 --> 1:07:56.680
<v Speaker 4>So do you know what per diem is?

1:07:57.520 --> 1:07:58.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

1:07:59.000 --> 1:08:01.800
<v Speaker 4>No, So it's like if you live. It's like you

1:08:01.880 --> 1:08:04.120
<v Speaker 4>live if your address is here, and then the job

1:08:04.200 --> 1:08:06.440
<v Speaker 4>is like so many hours away, and they know you

1:08:06.480 --> 1:08:08.080
<v Speaker 4>have to be written a hotel and stuff. They'll give

1:08:08.080 --> 1:08:10.880
<v Speaker 4>you per diem on top of like your hourly base pay,

1:08:11.120 --> 1:08:12.960
<v Speaker 4>so you'll get like for me, I'll get one hundred

1:08:12.960 --> 1:08:15.360
<v Speaker 4>and ten dollars a day I'm out there per diem,

1:08:15.440 --> 1:08:20.200
<v Speaker 4>So that's seven hundred not to give that.

1:08:20.439 --> 1:08:24.479
<v Speaker 1>So so this job that's far away, it pays the

1:08:24.520 --> 1:08:29.160
<v Speaker 1>same amount of money, yet they are giving you extra

1:08:29.240 --> 1:08:34.120
<v Speaker 1>money to cover extra expenses. As a result, of it

1:08:34.200 --> 1:08:34.920
<v Speaker 1>being far away.

1:08:36.000 --> 1:08:37.240
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, but they're like that.

1:08:37.600 --> 1:08:40.880
<v Speaker 1>But but that's not that's not getting paid more because

1:08:40.920 --> 1:08:43.040
<v Speaker 1>you have to you actually have to use that money

1:08:43.720 --> 1:08:48.719
<v Speaker 1>because it's farther away. No, So it's not a job

1:08:48.760 --> 1:08:49.720
<v Speaker 1>that pays more.

1:08:50.680 --> 1:08:52.519
<v Speaker 4>I mean kind, it's just like so like you get

1:08:52.520 --> 1:08:54.240
<v Speaker 4>one hundred and ten dollars a day per diem and like,

1:08:54.280 --> 1:08:56.840
<v Speaker 4>I don't know, like you don't have to I don't

1:08:56.880 --> 1:08:58.519
<v Speaker 4>have to spend one hundred and ten dollars a day

1:08:58.560 --> 1:09:01.920
<v Speaker 4>to live, you know, and then you get plus the

1:09:02.040 --> 1:09:04.760
<v Speaker 4>sixteen an hour. So it's really like I'd be making

1:09:04.800 --> 1:09:08.120
<v Speaker 4>like a little three hundred dollars a day something like that.

1:09:09.640 --> 1:09:12.240
<v Speaker 1>But did you you didn't go to college, did you?

1:09:12.280 --> 1:09:14.080
<v Speaker 4>No? I never went to college. I want I mean,

1:09:14.160 --> 1:09:16.679
<v Speaker 4>I feel like I could. I feel like I'm smart, though.

1:09:16.520 --> 1:09:18.479
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what did What do you do? What

1:09:18.479 --> 1:09:19.120
<v Speaker 1>do you do again?

1:09:20.240 --> 1:09:24.400
<v Speaker 4>Uh? Labor helping like electional lines whenever they whenever, like

1:09:24.400 --> 1:09:26.040
<v Speaker 4>electual lines are messed up or need to be put

1:09:26.120 --> 1:09:27.759
<v Speaker 4>up in the big can.

1:09:27.640 --> 1:09:29.479
<v Speaker 1>You is there is there a universe where you can

1:09:29.479 --> 1:09:31.080
<v Speaker 1>go to like a trade school or something.

1:09:30.880 --> 1:09:34.479
<v Speaker 4>Like that for for cheap Not really, not realistically because

1:09:34.520 --> 1:09:38.400
<v Speaker 4>of the money. Yeah, m hmm.

1:09:39.120 --> 1:09:41.920
<v Speaker 1>What about what about like a like community college?

1:09:44.320 --> 1:09:47.320
<v Speaker 4>I'd have to I don't, I mean I have, I

1:09:47.320 --> 1:09:49.559
<v Speaker 4>haven't really looked too much into it. I just know

1:09:49.600 --> 1:09:51.880
<v Speaker 4>that I have to pay for it. If that's it,

1:09:52.040 --> 1:09:53.599
<v Speaker 4>I have to work to get the money to pay

1:09:53.600 --> 1:09:59.200
<v Speaker 4>for it, you know. Mh that's up. That's all goes

1:09:59.240 --> 1:10:04.360
<v Speaker 4>back down, the money, the root of all evil. M hm.

1:10:07.760 --> 1:10:10.120
<v Speaker 4>So that's what I'm thinking about. Doing this other job

1:10:10.200 --> 1:10:13.200
<v Speaker 4>for a little bit, make more money, and maybe to

1:10:13.320 --> 1:10:14.760
<v Speaker 4>school for something. I don't know.

1:10:17.360 --> 1:10:18.719
<v Speaker 1>Well, I don't think it's a terrible plan.

1:10:21.439 --> 1:10:27.479
<v Speaker 4>But holy shit, I can't believe I talked to you.

1:10:28.280 --> 1:10:29.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's just nice. I'm glad we got to talk.

1:10:29.960 --> 1:10:34.479
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry if you know, I don't know. I don't

1:10:34.520 --> 1:10:35.960
<v Speaker 1>know why I said I'm sorry just now. I think

1:10:35.960 --> 1:10:36.719
<v Speaker 1>that's my default.

1:10:39.160 --> 1:10:41.920
<v Speaker 4>Nah, you're fine. Uh man, this is awesome. You have

1:10:41.960 --> 1:10:44.040
<v Speaker 4>no idea. You really made my day. I think you're

1:10:44.080 --> 1:10:46.439
<v Speaker 4>the one I've been laying to bed all day. You

1:10:46.640 --> 1:10:49.559
<v Speaker 4>maybe jump out of bed and ship. Uh. I appreciate it. Man,

1:10:49.600 --> 1:10:50.120
<v Speaker 4>you're awesome.

1:10:51.280 --> 1:10:53.200
<v Speaker 1>Thanks, Zach. I think I think you're awesome. I think

1:10:53.200 --> 1:10:55.360
<v Speaker 1>you're Uh, you're a cool guy. You got a brother.

1:10:55.439 --> 1:10:55.720
<v Speaker 4>I'm not.

1:10:55.800 --> 1:10:58.400
<v Speaker 1>I look I I I know that like life is

1:10:58.520 --> 1:11:01.800
<v Speaker 1>fucking tough when the econ me is fucking tough. But

1:11:02.200 --> 1:11:05.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm happy to hear that you. You know, I don't know.

1:11:05.720 --> 1:11:09.200
<v Speaker 1>You seem like you're you just O God. I feel

1:11:09.240 --> 1:11:12.400
<v Speaker 1>like a fucking grandpa or something. But you just have

1:11:12.479 --> 1:11:14.080
<v Speaker 1>a good head on your shoulders.

1:11:14.120 --> 1:11:14.679
<v Speaker 4>I just.

1:11:18.160 --> 1:11:20.760
<v Speaker 1>So whatever, I'm not worried about you. I think you'll

1:11:20.800 --> 1:11:21.240
<v Speaker 1>be all right.

1:11:22.080 --> 1:11:22.960
<v Speaker 4>I appreciate it. Man.

1:11:23.280 --> 1:11:24.400
<v Speaker 1>Is there anything else you want to say to the

1:11:24.439 --> 1:11:25.599
<v Speaker 1>people the computer before we go?

1:11:28.000 --> 1:11:31.000
<v Speaker 4>Nah? I mean I feel you say, I have the

1:11:31.080 --> 1:11:33.320
<v Speaker 4>nice I'm gonna just be grew real quick. If you've

1:11:33.360 --> 1:11:36.400
<v Speaker 4>been on if he's answered your call like three times,

1:11:36.520 --> 1:11:39.000
<v Speaker 4>please give other people a chance. I've called like a

1:11:39.080 --> 1:11:39.719
<v Speaker 4>year and a half.

1:11:40.320 --> 1:11:41.880
<v Speaker 1>Sorry, that's all I want to say.

1:11:42.000 --> 1:11:44.040
<v Speaker 4>I love you, ye later, all.

1:11:44.000 --> 1:11:45.960
<v Speaker 1>Right, thanks Zak, take care later.

1:12:01.040 --> 1:12:03.760
<v Speaker 3>There re be Get Goos on the line taking your

1:12:03.880 --> 1:12:05.160
<v Speaker 3>phone calls every night.

1:12:05.520 --> 1:12:08.080
<v Speaker 1>Never be Get goes to his hide. You're just teaching

1:12:08.160 --> 1:12:12.920
<v Speaker 1>you the housing your life. But he's not really an expert.