Speaker 1: Hello, my beautiful listeners and my viewers. Welcome to Cheeky's
Speaker 1: and Chill Happy Monday. I can't believe that it's the
Speaker 1: end of September. I'm like, what the heck, there's only
Speaker 1: three months left in twenty twenty four? WHOA has it
Speaker 1: been a year? But AnyWho, today is going to be
Speaker 1: a good episode because I'm going to talk to you
Speaker 1: guys about something that happens to me quite often, something
Speaker 1: that I deal with on a daily basis, and I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure you guys are going to understand what I'm
Speaker 1: talking about. So let me take a deep breath, y'all.
Speaker 1: I consider myself to be a pretty well now, I'm
Speaker 1: that type of person, like cool, you know, chill chigis
Speaker 1: and chill type of person. I'm happy I give people
Speaker 1: the benefit of the doubt. I wear my emotions on
Speaker 1: my sleeve and say that maybe in my past, when
Speaker 1: I was younger, I was naive, I was gullible. A
Speaker 1: lot of that has changed as I've matured, as life
Speaker 1: has happened and I've learned the hard way. I've shared
Speaker 1: a lot of that with you guys. One thing that
Speaker 1: I've been encountering a lot lately, or maybe I've been
Speaker 1: noticing a lot more because I'm not putting up with
Speaker 1: BS because I've decided that I want for every relationship
Speaker 1: in my life to be reciprocated. I always tell you
Speaker 1: guys this.
Speaker 2: I like to treat people the way I want to
Speaker 2: be treated.
Speaker 1: I don't ever ask for more than I deserve, for
Speaker 1: more than I'm willing to give. And what I'm talking
Speaker 1: about now is your kindness being taken for weakness. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you guys can relate, but it's been
Speaker 1: happening quite a bit and I've just had it. I'm like,
Speaker 1: wait a second. Not that I want to change my essence,
Speaker 1: because that's not what it's about. I want to continue
Speaker 1: being myself and giving of myself to the people that
Speaker 1: deserve it and also give me the best of themselves.
Speaker 1: Now I'm calling people on their shit. A lot of
Speaker 1: people don't like it. A lot of people want to say, oh,
Speaker 1: you've changed, you're different, and they want to blame the fame,
Speaker 1: and they want to say, oh, because you're doing this,
Speaker 1: because you're doing that, because you have more, has nothing
Speaker 1: to do with that. I've just gotten to a point
Speaker 1: in my life where I am tired of feeling unappreciated
Speaker 1: of if there's anything that bothers me.
Speaker 2: Quite a bit.
Speaker 1: It's a pet peeve of mine. As you guys know,
Speaker 1: I have a lot of pet peeves. But is that
Speaker 1: a bad thing?
Speaker 2: But I do. I have a lot of pet peeves.
Speaker 1: Anyways, Okay, what does that mean in English that you
Speaker 1: want to play me for a fool? I cannot, just
Speaker 1: because I am nice and because I'm forgiving, and because
Speaker 1: I am out here just trying to do my best
Speaker 1: in the world. I'm not saying I'm perfect. There's days
Speaker 1: where I'm a cancer, you guys, I will snap. And
Speaker 1: there are days that the moon is green and blue
Speaker 1: and it's out of shape or it's full and I'm
Speaker 1: in a bad mood. That's just I'm sorry. And I'll
Speaker 1: even say it now a I'm not in a good mood.
Speaker 1: I'm not feeling well. I'm very vocal about that now
Speaker 1: as to before I was. I'd try to just you know, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna suck it up. It's not happening. So anyways,
Speaker 1: My point is, every time I talk about something on
Speaker 1: the pod, you guys, it's always usually like a note
Speaker 1: to myself especially when it's just you and I, the
Speaker 1: mic and I and I'm talking to you guys directly.
Speaker 1: It's because I'm experienced something or I just recently experienced something,
Speaker 1: and I don't know if I want to get into detail,
Speaker 1: just because I don't want to make the situation worse
Speaker 1: and because the person's not here to defend themselves.
Speaker 2: I just don't feel that that's fair.
Speaker 1: But I had a situation where someone and I can't
Speaker 1: give too much detail because I don't I'm not trying
Speaker 1: to make it about that, but it triggered this whole conversation.
Speaker 1: So someone in my life that is a friend I
Speaker 1: was doing certain things that I wasn't okay with that
Speaker 1: was directly affecting me, and for a long time, I
Speaker 1: stayed quiet about it and I didn't say anything because
Speaker 1: I didn't want to ruffle any feathers. I am busy too,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't even want to deal
Speaker 1: with that right now. I'm just gonna let it go.
Speaker 1: And I know better than to let that happen. But
Speaker 1: this person continued to do thing after thing after thing
Speaker 1: because I wasn't speaking up because I was being nice
Speaker 1: because I'm busy or whatever. You want to call it,
Speaker 1: or I was playing dumb. I guess whatever. Even if
Speaker 1: I'm playing dumb, you're not dumb. So don't try to
Speaker 1: act as if what you're doing isn't right, because if
Speaker 1: it were the other way around, you wouldn't be okay
Speaker 1: with it, right. So I think that's what triggered this
Speaker 1: whole conversation, and I said it in something that I wrote,
Speaker 1: this person, don't take my kindness for weakness, you know,
Speaker 1: just because I am choosing to be a good person
Speaker 1: and choose sing maybe not to ruffle any feathers or
Speaker 1: open up a can of worms, like, don't take advantage
Speaker 1: of that. And that's why I was like, I'm going
Speaker 1: to talk about this on the pod because I think
Speaker 1: it happens, and.
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure I've.
Speaker 1: Been guilty of it myself in my younger years. Because
Speaker 1: now I'm really really intentional about not just you know,
Speaker 1: preaching but or you know, talking about it, but walking
Speaker 1: the talk, you know, like putting my words into action.
Speaker 1: So I really really do my best to everything that
Speaker 1: I talk to you guys about on this podcast to
Speaker 1: really hold myself accountable and lead by example. So anyways,
Speaker 1: I can't really think of a scenario. If something comes up,
Speaker 1: I'll let you guys know something that maybe I took
Speaker 1: someone's kindness for weakness. You know, Oh, I have a
Speaker 1: perfect example. It just came up my mom, for instance.
Speaker 1: My mom trusted me with her credit cards and with
Speaker 1: her finances, and I made sure that all the bills
Speaker 1: were paid okay, all the time the bills were taking
Speaker 1: care of. Everything in the house was paid on time.
Speaker 1: Everything was fine. But if I would go and you know,
Speaker 1: shop for her because I was her personal shopper at
Speaker 1: one point, i'd buy her clothes, I would buy myself
Speaker 1: something as well, and I would just And I've told
Speaker 1: you guys this before. You know, I'm not ashamed of it,
Speaker 1: because I'm ashamed of my behavior. But I'm not ashamed
Speaker 1: of what happened because it helped me learn how to
Speaker 1: value money and now I know what it is to
Speaker 1: work for my own But that was me taking my
Speaker 1: mom's kindness for weakness. She was trusting me with something
Speaker 1: and instead of me going to the store and just
Speaker 1: buying what she needed. There was no need in the
Speaker 1: world for me to say, I'm gonna buy myself some
Speaker 1: fifteen hundred dollars shoes.
Speaker 2: With my mom's card. Why would I do that? You
Speaker 2: know what I mean?
Speaker 1: And my mom would say, hey, like you know, and
Speaker 1: she knew, but she would just I guess maybe didn't
Speaker 1: want to ruffle any feathers or thought, you know what,
Speaker 1: my daughter does a lot like whatever the case may be.
Speaker 1: But then it got to the point where she couldn't anymore,
Speaker 1: and it started this whole thing, and she asked me
Speaker 1: to move out. And I couldn't even blame her because
Speaker 1: I'm like, you're right, I shouldn't have taken advantage of
Speaker 1: the situation. And from that and from many other things
Speaker 1: in my life, I have learned that, you know, I
Speaker 1: need to treat people the way I want to be treated,
Speaker 1: going back to this whole don't take.
Speaker 2: People's kindness for weakness.
Speaker 1: And I and someone asked me this on Dear Cheeky's once,
Speaker 1: like should I change, Like I'm tired of being the
Speaker 1: good friend and you know, of giving and giving and
Speaker 1: I'm not receiving. Then and I told that person, then
Speaker 1: you need to find new friends. Don't change who you are,
Speaker 1: just change the situation, change the scenario, change the scene,
Speaker 1: change the characters. You know, And I had to remind
Speaker 1: myself of that. I'm like, wait, I need to speak up,
Speaker 1: even if it is going to ruffle some feathers and
Speaker 1: open up a can of worms. I need to be
Speaker 1: true to myself. I need to speak up and stand
Speaker 1: up for myself, because who is if I don't.
Speaker 2: There's no need.
Speaker 1: There's no reason why I have to be disrespectful or
Speaker 1: belittle anyone or be mean. I can say the truth
Speaker 1: and call it sugarcoating or whatever you want, because there's
Speaker 1: people that are like, you know, I say the things
Speaker 1: the way they are and I don't care who gets
Speaker 1: like I don't believe in that. I believe in saying
Speaker 1: the truth and saying it with respect. But I need
Speaker 1: to stand up for myself and not change who I
Speaker 1: am because I know that there are people in my
Speaker 1: life that are going to appreciate and value who I am.
Speaker 1: And not to say that this person is a bad person,
Speaker 1: because I love this person and this person is still
Speaker 1: in my life. But it was just a situation that
Speaker 1: I was just letting go and letting go and letting go,
Speaker 1: and it was just causing me a lot of it
Speaker 1: was starting to cause me resentment. And I'm not a
Speaker 1: person that I don't like to hold that in my heart.
Speaker 1: I've told you, guys this, It's just not how healthy.
Speaker 1: Resentment causes so much bitterness, you know, and even disease eventually.
Speaker 1: So I was like, something's happening, something's changing. I need
Speaker 1: to speak about it. And I did, and I'm glad
Speaker 1: I did. And I just want to remind you, guys.
Speaker 1: And I don't want to make this longer than it
Speaker 1: needs to be, but I just want to remind you, guys,
Speaker 1: that don't let life, don't let certain people change who
Speaker 1: you truly are at your core, the person that you
Speaker 1: want to be, because you feel that down because you
Speaker 1: feel like, you know, the nice guy finishes last, the
Speaker 1: nice woman finishes last. Especially as women, we feel like
Speaker 1: we need to show up in a world that is
Speaker 1: the man's world. It's really a woman's world, but but
Speaker 1: we feel like we need to put up this like front,
Speaker 1: like there's nothing wrong with being a wrong, vulnerable woman,
Speaker 1: being true to yourself if that's what you are, and
Speaker 1: you're just a tough bitch, and do you as long
Speaker 1: as you're being true to yourself, your authentic self. But
Speaker 1: the point is, and this is a note to myself
Speaker 1: as well, don't change the way you do certain things
Speaker 1: or the way you move in life because of other
Speaker 1: people's actions and because they didn't value or appreciate what
Speaker 1: you were doing in their life. Continue to be that person.
Speaker 1: I promise you it will pay off. It will pay off,
Speaker 1: It you will get You will reap what you sew eventually,
Speaker 1: maybe not right now, maybe not with that person or
Speaker 1: the next person, but eventually you will reap what you sow,
Speaker 1: for good or for bad. So this is why I
Speaker 1: always say, guys, the best way to live is living
Speaker 1: with good intentions, walking with your head held high, treating
Speaker 1: people nicely, doesn't matter who they are, what they do,
Speaker 1: what they have, or what they don't have. Treat people
Speaker 1: like human beings. And you're going to bump into people
Speaker 1: that are mean, that are disrespectful, but it's all in
Speaker 1: how you react to it. And we can't let people
Speaker 1: push us around, even if we are nice. We have
Speaker 1: to stand up for ourselves and we have to speak
Speaker 1: our truth and stand for what we believe in. And
Speaker 1: as basically what this episode is all about. And now
Speaker 1: that we're on this subject, someone asked me once, how
Speaker 1: are you happy with the rate the speed that things
Speaker 1: are going and have gone in your career, and it's
Speaker 1: all because you know, I.
Speaker 2: Think that I'm pretty cool.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't like to speak about myself. It's it's very
Speaker 2: weird for me.
Speaker 1: But I can tell you, guys, I highly doubt that
Speaker 1: there's anyone that I've encountered in this business or outside
Speaker 1: of this business that can say that I was mean
Speaker 1: to them, that I was you to them, that I
Speaker 1: believe to them. I highly doubt that there's one person.
Speaker 1: I'd be very surprised, actually, and if someone did, i'd apologize,
Speaker 1: but I highly doubt it. And anyways, and they were
Speaker 1: asking because there are certain artists that feel that they
Speaker 1: need to have this persona of I'm a badass, don't
Speaker 1: look at me when I walk in the room, don't
Speaker 1: talk to me. I didn't think that that really existed.
Speaker 1: I heard these crazy ass stories of people wanting certain
Speaker 1: things in their green rooms, and you know, only this
Speaker 1: type of whatever. You know, I heard something about some
Speaker 1: red Eminem's once all this stuff is. It's real, guys,
Speaker 1: it does exist. I was even surprised. I'm not necessarily
Speaker 1: like that. I think sometimes I'm a little too cool.
Speaker 1: My manager things that I'm a little like too lenient.
Speaker 1: I guess that I don't ask for more. I'm just
Speaker 1: I don't ask for a lot, guys to be happy,
Speaker 1: you know. And maybe I said maybe when they asked
Speaker 1: me this question, maybe I would have been more successful
Speaker 1: a lot quicker or selling out stadiums. Now, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I am very happy with how things are going in
Speaker 1: my career and how they've gone little by little, step
Speaker 1: by step. I prefer it that way. But then I
Speaker 1: think of people like Carol g for instance, that is
Speaker 1: a mega superstar, and she is such a nice person
Speaker 1: that I see her and I'm like, this is why
Speaker 1: she's doing so well because she's a good person at heart.
Speaker 1: She has great parents, a great family. She treats everyone
Speaker 1: very nicely, very respectful. Every time I've seen her like
Speaker 1: she is the sweetest And I get so happy to
Speaker 1: see her selling out stadiums. And you may think, oh,
Speaker 1: it happened quick for her. She's been doing it. She's
Speaker 1: been in this game, guys for more than ten years.
Speaker 1: I've heard stories of her in Miami going to bars
Speaker 1: and wouldn't even sell it out, but.
Speaker 2: She was tenacious.
Speaker 1: She is now, like, look at her where she is
Speaker 1: and I'm so happy and it makes me inspires me
Speaker 1: to continue being who I am, even if there are
Speaker 1: people that I'm going to cross paths with that are
Speaker 1: going to take my kindness for weakness. I don't want
Speaker 1: to change who I am, and not because I want
Speaker 1: to say sell out a stadium, but because that's who
Speaker 1: I really am. And I see Carol in the times
Speaker 1: she's not faking it. That is really who she is.
Speaker 1: I see it in her eyes. I know it, I
Speaker 1: feel it, and it just you can't fake that, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like, you just can't. And I
Speaker 1: love that, and that inspires me to say, I'm going
Speaker 1: to continue even if I keep getting screwed over by
Speaker 1: people and it takes me a little longer, I know
Speaker 1: that I'm going to get to where I'm meant to
Speaker 1: get to. I don't have to be a person that
Speaker 1: treats people a certain way because it makes me look better,
Speaker 1: or treat people as less then because it makes me
Speaker 1: look better and feel better. Like I just it's just
Speaker 1: not in me. It's not who I am, and I'm
Speaker 1: not even if I continue to get disappointed by many people.
Speaker 1: And because someone told me the other day that I
Speaker 1: was too nice because there was this person and again
Speaker 1: I can't say names because I just can't. But there
Speaker 1: was this person that has been very mean to me,
Speaker 1: a complete asshole, okay, has done a lot of things
Speaker 1: to hurt me, not only me, but people that I love.
Speaker 1: And we were in a certain setting and I was
Speaker 1: making myself a coffee and he was gonna make himself
Speaker 1: a coffee, but I was in the way, so I
Speaker 1: took it upon myself. After I made my coffee, I
Speaker 1: began to brew his coffee. I felt it in my heart.
Speaker 1: It was just who I even though this person.
Speaker 2: Has hurt my heart very much.
Speaker 1: I proceeded to brew his coffee and I was about
Speaker 1: to you know, I just left it there and I
Speaker 1: was gonna let him know, hey, the coffee's brewing.
Speaker 2: Anyways. He didn't drink it.
Speaker 1: He completely just rejected, and I was like, okay, fine,
Speaker 1: I still was who I am. And not because I
Speaker 1: need anything from that person, not because I owe this
Speaker 1: person anything, not to look good with this person. I
Speaker 1: just I felt it in my heart. And this other
Speaker 1: person that I was talking to and I told them
Speaker 1: the story, They're like, you're just too nice, Like why
Speaker 1: would you do that this person has been why not
Speaker 1: if I want to do it and menassin it comes
Speaker 1: out of my heart. I'm not gonna stop that person
Speaker 1: and their actions and what they've done stop me from
Speaker 1: being who I am. I'm gonna continue to do what
Speaker 1: feels good in my heart. Even if that person doesn't
Speaker 1: appreciate it, that's their problem. I'm still gonna be me
Speaker 1: no matter what, no matter who, I'm still gonna be
Speaker 1: me because I owe a higher power a lot more.
Speaker 2: And until I get tired.
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe, guys, maybe maybe one day I'll wake up
Speaker 1: and I'll say fuck this and fuck the world, and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be a bitch. I don't know, And if
Speaker 1: that happens, I'll let you, guys know, I'd be like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm tired of being nice. I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna be a bitch everywhere I go. Maybe, and I'll
Speaker 1: be straight up about it, you know, I'll I don't
Speaker 1: know if that's gonna happen. I can't say ever. I
Speaker 1: don't see it happening. But if it happens, and I
Speaker 1: just want to be a a diva one day that
Speaker 1: only wants water that comes from the highest mountain in
Speaker 1: the world. I don't know. I'll let you guys know,
Speaker 1: but for now, I'm going to be me, and I
Speaker 1: like being me. And I suggest that you guys, are you.
Speaker 1: If you want to be mean and that's who you are,
Speaker 1: then do that, I guess, but that's kind of sad.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's better and it takes a lot less
Speaker 1: energy to just smile and be a nice person even
Speaker 1: if the person that you're opening the door for doesn't
Speaker 1: say thank you, because you even if it's a stranger.
Speaker 1: This happened to me a lot, guys. I open up
Speaker 1: a door and I let people go and they won't
Speaker 1: even say thank you, And I'm.
Speaker 2: Just like, whoa, what the hell? What's up their ass?
Speaker 2: You know? But I'm like, okay, well whatever, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: you're welcome. I'm still going to be me.
Speaker 1: So anyways, I just really felt that I needed to
Speaker 1: share this with you guys, something that's been in my heart,
Speaker 1: situations that I still deal with, Guys. Does it matter
Speaker 1: what I'm doing, who I am. I still deal with
Speaker 1: things the way you guys do. And if I can
Speaker 1: share my experiences and with you guys, I'm always going
Speaker 1: to do it. So I hope that this episode has
Speaker 1: helped you and helps you and reminds you that there
Speaker 1: is nothing wrong with being a nice, kind person, even
Speaker 1: if others don't appreciate it anyhow. I hope that you
Speaker 1: guys enjoyed this episode and that you have learned a
Speaker 1: thing or two, and hopefully I'm able to remind you
Speaker 1: always that you can be both kind and strong. There's
Speaker 1: a beautiful thing in that. And please, please don't let
Speaker 1: anyone change your essence.
Speaker 2: Please.
Speaker 1: If you change your essence, it's because it's your choice,
Speaker 1: not because of anyone else. Okay, so got in the world.
Speaker 1: Be nice, be kind, be strong, be brave, be all
Speaker 1: the bees in the world. I love you guys so much.
Speaker 1: Thank you for watching and listening to this podcast that
Speaker 1: I enjoy very much. Thank you guys for being here.
Speaker 1: Let's kiro mucho and I will catch you on the
Speaker 1: next episode of You Already Know It.
Speaker 2: Cheekisn't Chill.
Speaker 1: This is a production of iHeartRadio and my Qura podcast Network.
Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at my quidura Podcasts and follow
Speaker 1: me Cheeky's That's c h i q u i s.
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