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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to stuff.

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Speaker 1: One ever told you a prediction by heart radio?

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Speaker 2: And today we're bringing back a Monday Mini which we

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Speaker 2: sometimes try to avoid because they're shorter, but we have.

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Speaker 1: So much content. Yes, oh you're right, you're giving you

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Speaker 1: a faith. They're not always short.

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Speaker 3: A lot of ours last thirty minutes, which is a

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Speaker 3: full episode.

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Speaker 1: They're supposed to be.

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Speaker 2: The original idea for the Monday Minnie was twelve minutes

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Speaker 2: or less.

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Speaker 4: Well, to be fair, we also were like, this is

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Speaker 4: gonna be less research. So because it's less research, we

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Speaker 4: do have thought on it obviously, So yeah, it expands

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Speaker 4: a little bit, just a little bit.

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Speaker 2: It can go quite a while because we do have

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Speaker 2: a lot of thoughts. But I thought i'd bring this

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Speaker 2: one back because it's one. It was your idea, Samantha,

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Speaker 2: was about the benefits of crying, and given some of

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Speaker 2: the tough times we're in right now and another episode

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Speaker 2: we have coming out or has already come out, depending

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Speaker 2: on when you listen to this, I feel like a

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Speaker 2: lot of us baby been crying a little bit a lot. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and so I thought we should bring this one back

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Speaker 2: about how that can be a good thing. There can

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Speaker 2: be some benefits to it, even if.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't feel books.

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Speaker 3: It's okay to cry.

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Speaker 1: It is go on, sweet child, so please enjoy. Hey

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Speaker 1: this is Annie.

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Speaker 2: And Samantha and welcome to stuff I've never told you

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Speaker 2: protection of I hire Radio.

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Speaker 1: Samantha. Yes, why did we cry?

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Speaker 3: That is a good question. That's actually what I asked

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Speaker 3: you last week.

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Speaker 2: Week you did, and here is a Monday Mini about it. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: So I was like, look, I just had a day.

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Speaker 4: I want everybody know I'm okay, but sometimes I need

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Speaker 4: to cry.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I got like a seven thirty pm work email

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Speaker 2: message saying we need to talk about cry.

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Speaker 3: It's true because I was like, oh god, I think

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Speaker 3: this is the next day.

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Speaker 4: So it's took me a whole day and a half

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Speaker 4: to get it together to be like, we need to.

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Speaker 1: Talk about this.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm a big proponent of me search. So here

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Speaker 2: we are. Here we are we are. So yeah, we're

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Speaker 2: talking about the science of crying and some cultural stuff,

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Speaker 2: general overview things. So as a human being listening to this,

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Speaker 2: you probably know vaguely at least the answer to why

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Speaker 2: do we cry? It's usually in response to sadness or frustration, stress, exhaustion,

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Speaker 2: and yes, even joy. Emotional tears have higher levels of

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Speaker 2: stress moones like cortisols. So there are three types of

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Speaker 2: tears that scientists have isolated. And yes there's tears science, yes,

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Speaker 2: but in emotional tears, they have these higher hormone levels

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Speaker 2: and they suspect because of that it's a way of

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Speaker 2: lowering your stress levels and improving your mood.

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Speaker 4: Right, and we're going to talk a little bit about

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Speaker 4: some of the benefits of crying.

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Speaker 3: But last week was kind of a rough one for me.

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Speaker 4: I don't know if it was the book that we read,

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Speaker 4: which had a lot of emotional turns. So if you

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Speaker 4: need to read something that gives you all the fills

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Speaker 4: and to let it all out, whiskeys and ribbons, there

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Speaker 4: you go. Which we will be talking about soon. Were

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Speaker 4: we talking about before that?

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Speaker 2: Wow, publication schedules are messy. I think that's soon.

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Speaker 4: Yes, Okay, we've either talked about it or we'll be

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Speaker 4: talking about it soon. So, but also there was this

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Speaker 4: dog story that I read, and then there was just

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Speaker 4: an overall sadness of Twitter verse which I got caught

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Speaker 4: up in. But man, I definitely felt it deep inside,

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Speaker 4: which resulted in a day of just crying, which then

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Speaker 4: led to why am I still struggling with the feeling

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Speaker 4: that this is me being weak? Which I really you know,

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Speaker 4: it's just the whole conversation that we've had. I know

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Speaker 4: there's been episodes done on it, especially when we've talked

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Speaker 4: about when we get angry and cry, we feel weak

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Speaker 4: in that.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, I definitely had one of those moments of like, uh,

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Speaker 3: what is this?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean that's a whole thing to untangle.

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Speaker 2: Is I also struggle with that feeling like, oh, this

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Speaker 2: is weakness. I shouldn't cry, I should be stoic. And

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Speaker 2: we're going to talk a bit more about that in

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Speaker 2: a minute. But I do think that has to do

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Speaker 2: at least in part with traditional stereotypical gender roles, wherein

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Speaker 2: men don't cry, girls do cry, you want to be

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Speaker 2: more like men.

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Speaker 1: So there is that, But crying can be really good

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Speaker 1: for you.

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Speaker 2: On top of stress relief, crying can also bring us

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Speaker 2: closer to people, It can help us be more creative,

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Speaker 2: it can help us move forward. A study out of

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Speaker 2: the University of Florida found that after crying, almost ninety

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Speaker 2: percent of respondents felt better and this. I didn't know

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Speaker 2: about this, but I loved it. Apparently there are crying

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Speaker 2: events and clubs in Japan where at some of them,

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Speaker 2: for instance, they watched tear jerkers and cry together.

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Speaker 3: I'm guess seeing Titanics on the top of the.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I mean, you cry it Titanic. I have a white Titanic.

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Speaker 2: I'm assuming it's sad.

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Speaker 3: I'll never let go Jack and she did and she did.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I definitely did that for myself.

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Speaker 3: Look at me. I'm with the Japanese here. I will say.

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Speaker 4: After that, I did feel a lot of relief as

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Speaker 4: of some of my anxiety and helplessness exited my body

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Speaker 4: through my tears.

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Speaker 3: So that was a nice little moment for sure.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I find that crying really cathartic.

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Speaker 2: And I I'm someone who my friends sort of look

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Speaker 2: at give me a side eye, shall we say, because

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Speaker 2: I do enjoy it, and they make jokes about it,

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Speaker 2: and one of them is, so.

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Speaker 1: I love angst. I love it. I love it.

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Speaker 2: And there's a running joke among a group of my

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Speaker 2: friends that have been known me for so long they

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Speaker 2: call me womp uh so whompa like the ice creature

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Speaker 2: from the Empire strikes back. So it's a pun on womp,

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Speaker 2: which is a term frequently used in fan fiction, And

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Speaker 2: of course Star Wars one of the loves of my life.

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Speaker 2: And if I look back, I don't know why I'm

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Speaker 2: thinking about all my fictional crushes a lot lately.

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Speaker 1: I guess I have some time on my hands.

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Speaker 2: They all have kind of this angsty past, so I

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Speaker 2: definitely can relate to.

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Speaker 1: Thinking, you know what, today, I need a good cry.

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Speaker 2: I've got my episodes of TV shows and my books

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Speaker 2: or my movies that I know we'll get me there.

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Speaker 1: Let's do it.

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Speaker 2: And this whole thing made me think of Inside Out,

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Speaker 2: which they talk about a movie that gives me to cry,

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Speaker 2: and the moral of that story, at least the way

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Speaker 2: I interpret it, is by crying, it's a signal to

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Speaker 2: other people that care about you to help you. And

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Speaker 2: after you do that, then you can experience a joy

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Speaker 2: or these other things. And I feel like that's essentially

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Speaker 2: what I love about angst. I like the simplified. The

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Speaker 2: simplification of this person is hurt. Let's comfort them, because

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Speaker 2: I have a lot of trouble asking for help. So

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Speaker 2: in a story like that, which Inside Out, isn't really that.

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Speaker 2: But a lot of fan fiction I read and write

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Speaker 2: is this person is hurt, it's comfort them.

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Speaker 1: That's it. That's it, right.

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Speaker 4: Honestly, movies like This and Up which I still have

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Speaker 4: finished our day interest for me, I kind of sit

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Speaker 4: in the emotions too long.

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Speaker 3: Bambi haunted me forever.

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Speaker 1: It haunted a lot of us. I think it's wrong.

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Speaker 3: It's wrong. I think that as well as Land Before Time.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I was ugly crying on that nonsense And yes, look.

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Speaker 3: I love a good ugly cry.

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Speaker 4: And you know, when we talk about ugly cry, we're

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Speaker 4: talking about it snot we're talking about the faces that

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Speaker 4: just inexpectably looks like. It makes you look like a monster,

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Speaker 4: a little bit like you're making monster faces.

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Speaker 3: But I don't think we see it enough on TV,

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Speaker 3: which we should. We should.

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Speaker 4: That's the realistic of like tragedy is when we get

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Speaker 4: into that whole level of like no holding back, of crying,

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Speaker 4: that ugliness, that translates later to that puffy red face

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Speaker 4: for the next entire day, so it lasts, the memories

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Speaker 4: of that cry last for you. I definitely haven't seen

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Speaker 4: it portrayed enough, and it should be Honest Life.

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Speaker 2: So I wasn't aware of this sort of phenomenon. I mean,

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Speaker 2: we all know what that is, but I didn't know

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Speaker 2: ugly cry was a thing until back when I was

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Speaker 2: the video producer on this show.

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Speaker 1: We did an episode on ugly crying and the example.

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Speaker 2: That was given a lot was Claire from Homeland.

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Speaker 4: Claire from Homeland, and then Claire Danes from My So

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Speaker 4: Called Life.

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Speaker 2: Yes, so, this, interestingly is one of the main examples

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Speaker 2: people gave of saying why they don't like to cry

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Speaker 2: is not that it doesn't feel good, but they are

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Speaker 2: self conscious about how they look when they do, which

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Speaker 2: I think is very sad that we.

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Speaker 1: Can't like go of that even in the throes of emotion.

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Speaker 4: I mean, she definitely gets all up in that emotion.

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Speaker 4: So did you watch My So Called Life? Have we

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Speaker 4: talked about this? No, I'm talking.

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Speaker 3: Teenage angs up the wazoo.

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Speaker 4: I don't understand that you've not seen this between Jared

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Speaker 4: Leto's bad boy persona, but it's just misunderstood as well

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Speaker 4: as the best friend who has like a drug addiction

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Speaker 4: a little bit, and then you have the LGBTQ character,

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Speaker 4: I believe LATINX character who's going through all of the

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Speaker 4: turmoil of their life as well, Like you just have

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Speaker 4: all of the angst of teenage life in one show.

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Speaker 4: So between puberty, between emo guys, between drug addiction, between

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Speaker 4: LGBTQ issues. I mean that should have been right up

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Speaker 4: through Aliti. Honestly, it might be it may have been

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Speaker 4: out of your generation. Is probably my teenage generation. To

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Speaker 4: be fair, you're probably too young for that. You should

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Speaker 4: go back and watch some of those things. I wonder

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Speaker 4: what your thoughts would be, because it is the epitome

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Speaker 4: of angst.

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Speaker 2: I do like a very specific type of mixed which

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Speaker 2: I could go into, but it would take more time

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Speaker 2: than we have.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, Mclaire Danes.

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Speaker 4: Claire Danes is kind of the character known as the

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Speaker 4: ugly crier as well as if you I don't know,

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Speaker 4: if you've alread to watch A New Girl, they talk

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Speaker 4: about Justin Long's character and being the ugliest crier that

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Speaker 4: they've ever seen, but is like comedic level of crying,

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Speaker 4: like he's over the top, but it's as interesting too.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I guess that's a good segue into gender differences. And

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Speaker 2: as we already mentioned, it is more acceptable in this

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Speaker 2: our Western civilization for women to cry. I was thinking

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Speaker 2: the quote there's no crying in baseball, and then the

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Speaker 2: song big Girls don't Cry, and that's sort of translating

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Speaker 2: into be more masculine, because that is better. Crying is weak.

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Speaker 2: For some reason, this whole thing it made me remember

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Speaker 2: I used to go to Bible School when I was

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Speaker 2: in middle school, and the people who ran it they

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Speaker 2: were trying to get us to memorize Bible verses.

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Speaker 1: So it was a game of tag.

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Speaker 2: When you got tagged, you you went into prison and

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Speaker 2: you couldn't get out until you recited a Bible verse

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Speaker 2: to the person who was running the jail. And all

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Speaker 2: of us, literally all of us just memorized Jesus wept,

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Speaker 2: which is the shortest Bible verse, and so we would

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Speaker 2: just like barely be in the fake prison, be like

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Speaker 2: she swept, and.

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Speaker 1: Run back out. They were so annoyed with us. They

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Speaker 1: were so annoyed with us.

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Speaker 3: I was gonna say, then Jesus wept because you cheated.

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Speaker 1: No, they didn't specify that you manipulated. Nope, nope.

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Speaker 3: And did you have the rule change?

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Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sure it did. I'm sure it did.

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Speaker 3: But then you could do another's verses, I pray without ceasing.

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Speaker 1: A rule of like not it has to be at

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Speaker 1: least forwards.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well, we're talking about the benefits.

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Speaker 4: But according to one article from Medical News Today, it

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Speaker 4: is estimated women cry on average three point five times

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Speaker 4: a month as where men cry one point five, which

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Speaker 4: is an interesting number.

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Speaker 3: I wonder how they got that.

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Speaker 2: I would imagine it was self reported. I have to

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Speaker 2: say in my experience in my family, like very insular

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Speaker 2: my family and maybe some of my close friends, I

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Speaker 2: feel when women cry it's usually sadness or stress, whereas

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Speaker 2: most of the men in my life it's been anger

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Speaker 2: crying out, like getting so angry. Except for my dad,

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Speaker 2: he would cry it literally everything. He was a very

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Speaker 2: sentimental kind.

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Speaker 4: That's going to say my family, they're more. They cry

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Speaker 4: when they're sentimental. So when they think on memories and past,

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Speaker 4: that's when they cry. They don't typically get angry and cry.

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Speaker 4: I feel like I do that women, the female in

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Speaker 4: our family would do that more. But when it gets

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Speaker 4: sentimental talking about the old days, they're talking about past,

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Speaker 4: memories of loved ones.

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Speaker 3: Gone, religion, do like all of that will make them cry.

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Speaker 2: There are few reasons as to why people cry, but

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Speaker 2: the majority of the time it is due to emotional

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Speaker 2: reasons again which do have these higher levels of stress

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Speaker 2: hormones in the tears.

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Speaker 4: And then there are benefits to crying, and with everything

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Speaker 4: that is happening, it's nice to hear about the benefits,

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Speaker 4: and some of those are. It actually is a self

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Speaker 4: soothing benefit that helps you relax and regulate your emotions,

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Speaker 4: so that's good.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And it can help relieve pain that crying releases

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Speaker 2: octytocin and endorphins, which help to soothe pain and can

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Speaker 2: also enhance your mood and also can release toxins which

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Speaker 2: can once again release stress crime can also help you physically.

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Speaker 2: Tears can fight off bacteria with fluid called lysozyme, and

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Speaker 2: also improve our vision by making sure the mucous membrane

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Speaker 2: doesn't try out. So those are the two other reasons

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Speaker 2: outside of emotional tears.

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Speaker 1: Those are the two other types of tears.

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Speaker 4: Frequent crying can be a sign of depression. There's a

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Speaker 4: crying pronus scale, so there's something to look at and

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Speaker 4: which goes into a lot of other things. That level

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Speaker 4: of helplessness and continued feeling of dread or disappointment, so

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Speaker 4: definitely something to watch for. Constantly crying yes a sign, so.

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Speaker 3: Be aware of that.

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Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely, But if you just need a good cry, let's.

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Speaker 2: Say okay, yes, it's okay, and we want to be

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Speaker 2: here for you in whatever way we can to help

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Speaker 2: bring maybe some joy or some clarity or our sadness,

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Speaker 2: you know, but we want to do the best things

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Speaker 2: for our audience. So if you would like to email

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Speaker 2: us for things that you want to hear or don't

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Speaker 2: want to hear, what you want more of whatever I

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Speaker 2: love that people are sending, what they're streaming, I love it.

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Speaker 1: You can do that.

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Speaker 2: You can email us at Stuff Media, moms Stuff at

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Speaker 2: iHeartMedia dot com, or you can find us on Instagram

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Speaker 2: at stuff IM Never Told You or on Twitter at

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Speaker 2: mom Stuff Podcast. Thanks as always to our super producers

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Speaker 2: Andrew Howard and JJ Posway, and thanks to you for

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Speaker 2: listening Stuff I'm Never Told You, his production of iHeartRadio.

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