WEBVTT - #142 Life is too short for this 0:00:00.360 --> 0:00:02.840 So I gotta tell you rhtt you're either going to 0:00:02.920 --> 0:00:04.880 drag this out for a year or another two years. 0:00:04.920 --> 0:00:11.000 You're gonna do that, or you're gonna realize soon the 0:00:11.039 --> 0:00:25.120 fighting's not worth it. Life is too short. What's up, guys, 0:00:25.160 --> 0:00:27.960 Welcome to the podcast. Thank you for watching, Thank you 0:00:28.000 --> 0:00:31.120 for listening. Whatever platform you're coming from, whether it's YouTube 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:35.279 or Spotify or Apple podcast. Maybe you found me on TikTok, 0:00:35.680 --> 0:00:38.400 maybe you found me through After Midnight my radio show. 0:00:38.840 --> 0:00:41.120 However you got here, thank you for being here. I 0:00:41.159 --> 0:00:43.440 love doing this. We're going to walk through your questions 0:00:44.200 --> 0:00:48.159 real time, long form, no notes, no edits, no cuts. 0:00:48.560 --> 0:00:50.239 I don't know what's coming at me, and I'm going 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:52.159 to talk through it as though me and you are 0:00:52.159 --> 0:00:55.000 friends and you asked me for advice. I might not 0:00:55.160 --> 0:00:57.120 have the right advice, but I'm just going to tell 0:00:57.120 --> 0:01:00.800 you what comes to my mind when I read this. 0:01:01.400 --> 0:01:03.560 If you want to be on this podcast with your question, 0:01:03.640 --> 0:01:07.679 email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com, and I'm going 0:01:07.720 --> 0:01:10.760 to get to the list here today. The first question 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:15.280 subject line says, this little slash big thing my husband does. 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:18.039 He says, I'd like to stay anonymous. I've been married 0:01:18.040 --> 0:01:20.160 to my husband for twelve years. He proposed to me 0:01:20.319 --> 0:01:22.959 within the first year of that, and we were together. 0:01:23.080 --> 0:01:26.360 Everything seemed perfect. He seemed head over heels from me, 0:01:26.680 --> 0:01:30.920 and for some reason, during this time things changed. He 0:01:31.000 --> 0:01:34.440 started struggling and reliving the past. When I say the past, 0:01:34.520 --> 0:01:37.520 I mean it's mostly things, events, people that were prior 0:01:37.560 --> 0:01:41.080 to me. He struggles with condemning himself for our children 0:01:41.160 --> 0:01:43.280 not having as good a life as he had when 0:01:43.280 --> 0:01:46.640 he was younger. He relives and longs for the vehicles, money, 0:01:46.680 --> 0:01:48.640 and good times he had before he was with me. 0:01:49.680 --> 0:01:52.240 The big thing is he has confessed feeling guilty for 0:01:52.320 --> 0:01:55.640 things he did to his girlfriend and often thinks of 0:01:55.720 --> 0:01:57.920 ways to fix what he did back then to her. 0:01:58.680 --> 0:02:01.600 He's reached out to her before, and even kept pictures 0:02:01.640 --> 0:02:05.040 and special things from her in our garage. It's gotten 0:02:05.080 --> 0:02:06.800 to the point where I could feel or sense when 0:02:06.840 --> 0:02:09.080 he's thinking about her, and he'll shut down and separate 0:02:09.120 --> 0:02:11.799 himself from our family and be distant. We've talked about it. 0:02:11.919 --> 0:02:15.359 He'll confess these feelings and these things, and he'll break 0:02:15.400 --> 0:02:17.560 down and sometimes even cry. When I press him to 0:02:17.680 --> 0:02:20.240 reach out and fix whatever he needs to be fixed. 0:02:20.760 --> 0:02:22.880 Then he will say it's stupid and he doesn't love 0:02:22.880 --> 0:02:25.679 her and he was just having a moment. While I'm 0:02:25.760 --> 0:02:28.720 really glad he's comfortable talking to me about this, it 0:02:29.040 --> 0:02:32.560 kills me all caps. I can't help but feel that 0:02:32.600 --> 0:02:35.760 he regrets marrying me, while I'm the one with the 0:02:35.840 --> 0:02:37.640 ring on the finger, I still can't help but feel 0:02:37.680 --> 0:02:41.720 unwanted in someone else's spot. I start to feel guilty 0:02:41.760 --> 0:02:44.600 that I even came into my husband's life, and even 0:02:44.600 --> 0:02:46.880 wonder if he's supposed to be with his former girlfriend. 0:02:47.720 --> 0:02:50.440 I've found ways to cope and deal with these unwanted 0:02:50.440 --> 0:02:53.480 feelings by running to the cross. I'm not going to 0:02:53.560 --> 0:02:57.240 ask why he is doing this, but instead what can 0:02:57.280 --> 0:03:00.400 I do as a godly woman to pull him back 0:03:00.400 --> 0:03:03.359 into the present with us? Or would you say I 0:03:03.360 --> 0:03:06.800 should instead be mentally and physically preparing myself for not 0:03:06.960 --> 0:03:10.360 being together forever even though we're married. Is this man 0:03:10.440 --> 0:03:13.600 still in love with his ex girlfriend from over sixteen 0:03:13.639 --> 0:03:19.639 years ago? Wow? What a question to start the podcast. 0:03:19.760 --> 0:03:23.480 Number one question to lead off, What my Goodness? First 0:03:23.520 --> 0:03:31.440 of all, Anonymous, I am so impressed with your courage 0:03:31.760 --> 0:03:36.960 and with your understanding of the situation. Oh my goodness, 0:03:36.960 --> 0:03:39.520 Oh I don't think a lot of wives would be 0:03:39.560 --> 0:03:43.560 able to handle this with as much grace as you 0:03:43.720 --> 0:03:47.200 are doing. And I feel like you are doing all 0:03:47.240 --> 0:03:50.600 the right things. You've maybe you've listened to my podcast 0:03:50.800 --> 0:03:55.080 or you're just new, but either way, you know exactly 0:03:55.400 --> 0:03:57.760 how I feel about these situations. And you even know 0:03:58.520 --> 0:04:02.560 that I read act asking God, why ever? And instead 0:04:02.640 --> 0:04:04.560 what what? God? What are you trying to show me 0:04:04.600 --> 0:04:08.640 in the situation. It's interesting when we pray sometimes and 0:04:08.680 --> 0:04:13.360 we ask for strength and to build our strength, he 0:04:13.440 --> 0:04:17.400 gives us troubles to deal with to enhance our strength, 0:04:18.680 --> 0:04:22.160 and that's what he's doing with you. And I want 0:04:22.200 --> 0:04:27.640 to validate your concern and your feeling about this, and 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:30.000 I think you're doing everything right. Here's the first thing 0:04:30.040 --> 0:04:32.240 I want to dive into is the last thing that 0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:36.840 you said here, should I be mentally preparing myself for 0:04:36.880 --> 0:04:40.440 not being together forever? I want to I want to 0:04:40.520 --> 0:04:42.839 kind of unpack that a little bit with you, because 0:04:42.880 --> 0:04:45.039 I want I want to say and I know I 0:04:45.040 --> 0:04:47.800 feel like I know you because here long email, but 0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:51.000 and so I'm not saying anything that you don't already know, 0:04:51.040 --> 0:04:53.479 but I want you, I want to encourage you to 0:04:53.640 --> 0:04:57.920 fight for your husband and fight for your marriage. Don't 0:04:57.920 --> 0:05:02.440 give up on this, don't stop trying, don't start preparing 0:05:02.520 --> 0:05:05.080 for maybe you're not going to be together, because I 0:05:05.080 --> 0:05:08.480 think if you start that preparation, that's going to reflect 0:05:08.520 --> 0:05:10.120 back into you. You're not going to want to fight 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:12.440 as hard. You're not going to want to dig into 0:05:12.520 --> 0:05:16.720 him as hard because you're preparing yourself for protecting your 0:05:16.720 --> 0:05:21.279 heart and being ready for divorce. And I don't believe 0:05:21.279 --> 0:05:24.760 in divorce. I believe we fight for our marriages. And 0:05:25.640 --> 0:05:27.760 no one ever said that marriage was going to be easy. 0:05:28.560 --> 0:05:30.800 No one ever said, you're getting married, great now, it's 0:05:30.839 --> 0:05:33.559 going to be a cakewalk. Have fun, you know, enjoy 0:05:33.640 --> 0:05:35.440 the rest of your life. It's going to be easy. 0:05:36.120 --> 0:05:38.080 I don't think I've ever heard a human ever say 0:05:38.080 --> 0:05:41.440 that ever. Even the best marriages, even the people that 0:05:41.480 --> 0:05:45.120 are that never even fight with each other. You're going 0:05:45.200 --> 0:05:48.200 to have struggles, and you're going to have things that 0:05:48.600 --> 0:05:52.839 come up, whether it's between your relationship or directly outside 0:05:52.839 --> 0:05:56.560 your relationship that penetrates into it. But you're going to 0:05:56.640 --> 0:06:01.039 have problems. And that's just the way it is. Now 0:06:01.080 --> 0:06:03.719 the result of fighting for that. First of all, you know, Biblically, 0:06:03.720 --> 0:06:06.680 we have to fight because because marriage is that important, 0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:09.919 it's it's a covenant under God, and you know that. 0:06:11.120 --> 0:06:17.240 And the struggles your husband is is dealing with, I 0:06:17.320 --> 0:06:20.400 just I think you're doing some great things and I 0:06:20.400 --> 0:06:23.200 want to continue to lean into him, and I would 0:06:23.240 --> 0:06:25.320 continue to be the person that he could talk to 0:06:25.400 --> 0:06:30.000 about anything, including an ex girlfriend that he might still 0:06:30.040 --> 0:06:33.320 have feelings for, or that he's regretting something that he did. 0:06:34.720 --> 0:06:37.160 As bad as that sounds, the last thing you want 0:06:37.200 --> 0:06:38.800 to do is shut him out from that kind of 0:06:38.880 --> 0:06:41.800 communication with you so that he can't even talk to 0:06:41.839 --> 0:06:44.960 you about it. It's tearing him up and he can't 0:06:44.960 --> 0:06:49.080 even talk to his own wife about it. So even 0:06:49.120 --> 0:06:52.560 though that this kills you, and it should, and I 0:06:52.600 --> 0:06:55.880 agree with you, and I validate that that should kill you, 0:06:56.720 --> 0:07:00.279 and I think you should tell him that and not 0:07:00.400 --> 0:07:06.000 in a nagging or or degrading way or judgment type way. 0:07:06.080 --> 0:07:09.560 I think I think you just say I want to 0:07:09.560 --> 0:07:12.840 talk to you about this because because I love you 0:07:13.080 --> 0:07:17.160 and I need you to know that whatever you're struggling with, 0:07:17.760 --> 0:07:21.360 I'm in it too with you because I'm I'm connected 0:07:21.400 --> 0:07:23.720 with you, and because we have a bond and we 0:07:23.800 --> 0:07:26.560 have a covenant together and because I love you and 0:07:26.600 --> 0:07:29.400 we have children together. Whatever it is you're dealing with, 0:07:30.080 --> 0:07:33.000 whether that it's this other girl, or memories from your 0:07:33.040 --> 0:07:36.280 past or or feeling like you're not worthy in the present, 0:07:36.520 --> 0:07:39.600 whatever it is, I'm in it with you, and I 0:07:39.600 --> 0:07:42.679 gotta be honest with you. It kills me. It kills 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:45.280 me when I when I see you like this, and 0:07:45.320 --> 0:07:49.480 when you go through these moments and you're not including me, 0:07:50.120 --> 0:07:53.640 and you have to I'm telling you, guys operate differently. 0:07:53.680 --> 0:07:55.960 You have to tell them in a loving way, not 0:07:56.040 --> 0:07:59.200 a judgmental way, or not a nagging way, like like, 0:07:59.320 --> 0:08:01.840 don't ever come to him and say, well you thinking 0:08:01.880 --> 0:08:04.560 about her again, you're just leaving. You got kids with 0:08:04.600 --> 0:08:06.960 me and and and I feel left out and I 0:08:06.960 --> 0:08:10.240 feel not wanted. Don't do that. Just say I want 0:08:10.240 --> 0:08:12.000 to talk to this. I want to talk about this, 0:08:12.920 --> 0:08:15.360 and and find him sometime away from the kids, when 0:08:15.360 --> 0:08:17.720 you guys can have some quiet time, maybe maybe at 0:08:17.720 --> 0:08:20.240 dinner and you and you just say I want to 0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:22.680 talk about this. I want to I want to dig 0:08:22.720 --> 0:08:25.000 it up. I can't believe you. You gave him the 0:08:25.040 --> 0:08:28.600 option to go back to her and reconcile like, that's amazing. 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:31.840 That's that's an amazing thing. That's that's that takes so 0:08:31.920 --> 0:08:37.480 much courage and selflessness that you have offered that to him. Now, 0:08:37.520 --> 0:08:39.560 what he does with that, I don't know. That's that's 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:43.719 in his court. And and we hope that, uh, if 0:08:43.760 --> 0:08:46.079 he does take that option, that it's in a godly 0:08:46.120 --> 0:08:49.080 way and a righteous way back to you. But uh, 0:08:49.920 --> 0:08:52.440 but goodness, this is this is quite I don't think 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:56.319 I've ever gotten an email quite like this one, and 0:08:56.320 --> 0:08:58.320 and I feel like there's a lot of hope in it. 0:08:58.360 --> 0:08:59.960 I feel like there's a lot of hope for you guys, 0:09:00.240 --> 0:09:02.760 And I feel good about the situation. I don't. I 0:09:02.800 --> 0:09:05.000 don't feel good about where you are right now currently, 0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:07.760 but I do feel good about the outcome because I 0:09:07.880 --> 0:09:11.440 just think you are you're You're an incredible woman that 0:09:11.600 --> 0:09:14.719 is seeing the big picture here. And he's going through 0:09:14.720 --> 0:09:18.280 a season, and this season will pass and it's not 0:09:18.320 --> 0:09:20.000 going to last forever, Like this isn't going to be 0:09:20.040 --> 0:09:22.240 going on ten years down the road. He's still dealing 0:09:22.280 --> 0:09:25.360 with this. This is a season, and I believe it's 0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:28.160 a short season for him, and he's going through some 0:09:28.240 --> 0:09:31.880 kind of some kind of period in his life where 0:09:31.920 --> 0:09:35.600 he's he's doubting the decisions that he's made. And when 0:09:35.640 --> 0:09:39.240 you start doubting the decisions you've made, you start feeling 0:09:39.320 --> 0:09:41.959 less of a man, and you feel like that's why 0:09:42.000 --> 0:09:47.080 he's telling his kids that I feel like I'm not 0:09:47.160 --> 0:09:51.000 the good dad. Would you say you said he's condemning 0:09:51.080 --> 0:09:54.360 himself for our children as not being having as good 0:09:54.400 --> 0:09:56.360 a life as he had when he was younger. I mean, 0:09:56.360 --> 0:09:59.559 that's that's guilt. Guilt is a thief and a liar, 0:09:59.559 --> 0:10:04.679 and it's just corroding him from the inside. So continue 0:10:04.720 --> 0:10:08.480 to lean in, continue to keep the communication open, don't nag, 0:10:08.800 --> 0:10:11.600 Just love, love him, be there, give him some space 0:10:11.640 --> 0:10:14.280 if he needs it, but also be available to talk 0:10:14.360 --> 0:10:18.160 whenever he does. Don't give up on the marriage. That's 0:10:18.160 --> 0:10:24.600 what I would say for now. Next question, subject line 0:10:24.640 --> 0:10:27.080 says quick question about my faith. Hey Grangeer, my name's Mac. 0:10:27.200 --> 0:10:31.079 I'm nineteen years old from Oregon. It says, the first off, 0:10:31.120 --> 0:10:33.760 I want to say, I admire your love of Jesus 0:10:33.800 --> 0:10:37.040 and how you're so open about your faith. He says, 0:10:37.360 --> 0:10:40.199 I feel like my walk with Jesus is very staggered 0:10:40.440 --> 0:10:43.400 and clumsy, I fall into old habits without realizing it, 0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:45.840 and then I'm left with the same regrets. I have 0:10:45.920 --> 0:10:50.600 a hard time growing my faith and making time for God. 0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:52.439 I don't know if it's just me or the people 0:10:52.440 --> 0:10:55.040 around me that I surround myself with. I'm in this 0:10:55.120 --> 0:10:59.160 constant loop of envying the Christians that are confident in 0:11:00.160 --> 0:11:02.600 and how in touch they are with God, and how 0:11:03.120 --> 0:11:05.560 I want to be like them, and yet I don't 0:11:05.559 --> 0:11:07.439 go to church or find the time to read the Word. 0:11:08.160 --> 0:11:11.880 Although I don't think I would have to go to 0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:13.800 church to be in touch with Him, I just think 0:11:13.800 --> 0:11:15.360 it would be I would be better off to find 0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:18.040 a church that I enjoy and connect with to grow 0:11:18.080 --> 0:11:20.800 my faith. I'm also fairly new to reading the Word 0:11:21.080 --> 0:11:26.240 and preaching what it writes. I'm not an insecure person 0:11:26.280 --> 0:11:28.080 by any means, but when it comes to my faith, 0:11:28.080 --> 0:11:30.920 I feel like I'm not involved as others are. I 0:11:30.960 --> 0:11:34.320 know God forgives my sins because we are human, but 0:11:34.520 --> 0:11:36.600 how do I grow my faith? Does it matter who 0:11:36.720 --> 0:11:39.240 I surround myself with. Most of my friends are Christian, 0:11:39.280 --> 0:11:42.560 but they never talk about God or their faith. I 0:11:42.559 --> 0:11:44.600 know everyone's walk with God is different, and it all 0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:47.440 happens with time. But I want to be devoted, a 0:11:47.480 --> 0:11:51.280 devoted woman of God. I don't have a full understanding, 0:11:51.360 --> 0:11:53.000 but I'm trying to get there. I just want to 0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:55.199 live my life to Jesus, and I feel stuck in 0:11:55.240 --> 0:12:00.120 a loop. I can't seem to find the right step 0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:03.640 to take. And I'm kind of paraphrasing here, but how 0:12:03.640 --> 0:12:07.319 do I break the fear of missing out? Anyway? Thank 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:09.840 you Granger for taking the time to read this. I 0:12:09.880 --> 0:12:11.720 hope to come see you play in August when you 0:12:11.720 --> 0:12:16.200 come to Roseberg. Great. So this question comes from Mac, 0:12:16.280 --> 0:12:19.559 and Mac is a girl, and I didn't realize that 0:12:19.600 --> 0:12:23.640 until halfway through. Mac, Yeah, let me dive into this. 0:12:23.720 --> 0:12:27.000 It's it's a good question. You're not alone in thinking 0:12:27.040 --> 0:12:29.040 any of this stuff. But I want to I want 0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:30.640 to kind of pick at you a little bit. I 0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:34.480 want to kind of poke at you. Okay, the first 0:12:34.480 --> 0:12:37.160 thing I want to poke at because I want to 0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:39.560 be I'm not going to say things that make you 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:41.840 feel good. I'm going to say things that I think 0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:44.920 you need to hear and and and by saying that, 0:12:45.760 --> 0:12:49.839 I want to I want to reject the idea of 0:12:49.880 --> 0:12:52.319 you looking at other Christians like they are better than 0:12:52.320 --> 0:12:55.000 you or have more than you, because that is false, 0:12:55.240 --> 0:12:59.880 and I'm not one of them. We are all sinners. Okay. 0:13:00.720 --> 0:13:04.199 The story the story of the Gospel. It's the story 0:13:04.200 --> 0:13:06.640 of the hero slaying the dragon and getting the girl 0:13:06.679 --> 0:13:10.079 in the end. That's the story of the Bible. That's 0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:13.760 the story of Jesus slaying the dragon and getting the 0:13:13.760 --> 0:13:17.280 girl in the end. But here's the catch. The girl 0:13:17.320 --> 0:13:21.440 in the end that the hero gets is a prostitute. 0:13:21.920 --> 0:13:24.839 We're not a queen like the church the bride or 0:13:24.880 --> 0:13:28.680 the church the bride is a prostitute that is not 0:13:28.920 --> 0:13:35.400 worthy of being saved by the dragon. But we're saved anyway, 0:13:35.520 --> 0:13:40.600 all of us. Nobody is better than anybody else. Some 0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:43.480 of us have a stronger faith. But faith itself is 0:13:43.520 --> 0:13:46.400 a gift too that it's a gift to us. It's 0:13:46.440 --> 0:13:49.360 not something we have grown on our own. It's something 0:13:49.400 --> 0:13:52.440 that was given to us, and that understanding is a gift. 0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:57.400 So because of that gift, and because we're all a prostitute, 0:13:58.120 --> 0:14:00.800 we don't deserve any of it. And that leaves us 0:14:00.840 --> 0:14:06.720 with nothing but praise that the hero slayed the dragon 0:14:07.360 --> 0:14:11.080 that we couldn't ever defeat and saved us when we 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:14.400 weren't worthy of being saved. That's the love story here. 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:18.600 That's why this love story is so incredible because we 0:14:18.640 --> 0:14:22.680 didn't deserve it, and everything is a gift. So I'm 0:14:22.720 --> 0:14:24.320 going to dive in and I'm want to poke at 0:14:24.320 --> 0:14:29.280 you here because you're telling me. You're telling me that 0:14:29.400 --> 0:14:31.880 you're you're struggling, you're in a loop, you're not getting 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:35.360 any better, you're not growing your faith. But then you 0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:38.640 straight up will tell me you don't go to church 0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:42.680 or read the word. And so I've said, you know, 0:14:42.760 --> 0:14:47.040 analogies on this podcast. It's like it's like a you know, 0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:49.280 I've said this before. It's like a batter that playing 0:14:49.320 --> 0:14:52.840 baseball that goes to the coach and says, I'm in 0:14:52.920 --> 0:14:55.720 a slump. I can't hit anything. I'm in a loop. 0:14:56.640 --> 0:14:58.240 I go up to bat and I strike out and 0:14:58.360 --> 0:15:02.680 I cannot I can not get better at this. And 0:15:02.720 --> 0:15:05.400 the coach says, okay, let me help you. Let me 0:15:05.520 --> 0:15:08.000 let me help you. First of all, tell me what 0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:10.800 you're doing. What are you doing to try to get 0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:13.720 out of the slump. Are you practicing your swing at 0:15:13.760 --> 0:15:18.920 a batting cage? No, are you videoing yourself and watching 0:15:18.960 --> 0:15:24.920 your form and playing it back. No, are you you're 0:15:24.960 --> 0:15:27.440 going out to the field and having somebody pitch to 0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:29.240 you all the time and you're trying to work on 0:15:29.280 --> 0:15:34.240 your curveball or your fastball. No, but you want to 0:15:34.280 --> 0:15:35.920 get better at your swing. Yeah, I want to get 0:15:35.920 --> 0:15:39.400 better at my swing. You see that, You see the disconnect, Like, 0:15:39.440 --> 0:15:43.880 that's what you're telling me, And you say, although, here's 0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:46.400 your here's your line. Although I don't think you have 0:15:46.480 --> 0:15:48.040 to go to church to be in touch with him? 0:15:49.360 --> 0:15:52.360 Do you not? Like? Where? Where does that? Where does that? 0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:55.480 Where's that? In the Bible? You don't have to be 0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:58.040 around other believers, you don't have to be in church. 0:15:58.680 --> 0:16:04.760 Where does it say that? Because the church is the prostitute, 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:07.680 it is the bride. It's it's what he slayed the 0:16:07.760 --> 0:16:11.440 dragon for, and so why did he slay the dragon? 0:16:12.400 --> 0:16:15.520 It's it's like saying, if the church, if the church 0:16:15.640 --> 0:16:18.080 is the bride of Christ, which is that's the analogy 0:16:18.120 --> 0:16:20.800 the Bible makes, then it would be equivalent to what 0:16:20.840 --> 0:16:22.880 you said. It's going up to one of your friends 0:16:22.920 --> 0:16:26.800 that's married and saying, I really like you a lot, 0:16:26.920 --> 0:16:30.120 I love you, but I can't I can't just can't 0:16:30.120 --> 0:16:32.800 stand your husband. I don't like him very much. I 0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:36.880 don't like him. I like you don't. Don't get me wrong, 0:16:36.920 --> 0:16:39.440 I love you, but I just I don't care for 0:16:39.480 --> 0:16:42.800 your husband. Like what would your friends say to that? 0:16:42.840 --> 0:16:45.920 How would she react to that? I don't think she 0:16:45.920 --> 0:16:49.240 would take that very well. And that's what you're saying. 0:16:50.520 --> 0:16:52.000 And then the other thing I don't. I don't read 0:16:52.040 --> 0:16:55.280 the word like that's the batting cage. You want to 0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:57.800 get better at your swing, The word is your batting cage. 0:16:57.840 --> 0:17:02.120 Like when you pray, you're you're you're sending your communication up. 0:17:02.560 --> 0:17:06.080 But when you read the word, he's speaking back to 0:17:06.160 --> 0:17:10.159 you through the word. So you're not reading it and 0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:12.680 you're not going to church. I mean, I don't really 0:17:12.680 --> 0:17:16.119 have to think about anything else in the email besides that. 0:17:18.800 --> 0:17:23.600 Try and try that. Go to church, hey, even if 0:17:23.600 --> 0:17:27.040 you don't want to, even if you've got I'm listen. 0:17:27.320 --> 0:17:29.800 I just finished a book that's going to come out 0:17:29.840 --> 0:17:33.040 next year. But I was, I was in your exact position, 0:17:33.960 --> 0:17:37.120 So I'm not speaking down to you. I'm speaking as 0:17:37.119 --> 0:17:40.000 a beggar telling another beggar where I found bread. Like 0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:43.119 I'm no better, but I did get to eat and 0:17:43.200 --> 0:17:47.720 let me show you where I found food. And so 0:17:47.760 --> 0:17:50.120 many times it starts with going just going to church, 0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:53.960 just showing up. You don't have to dress up. But 0:17:54.000 --> 0:17:55.800 you know, I was always worried about, like, well, the 0:17:55.840 --> 0:17:58.560 Cowboys are playing football and TV. I can't miss that, 0:17:58.760 --> 0:18:01.439 or I'm traveling and I'm really tired. I stayed up 0:18:01.480 --> 0:18:06.359 late last night at a concert. But you don't have 0:18:06.400 --> 0:18:09.160 to want to go. You go because you need to go, 0:18:09.920 --> 0:18:13.600 and yes, yes you need to go. You need to 0:18:13.640 --> 0:18:17.080 show up. You need to hear what God has to 0:18:17.119 --> 0:18:19.920 say that morning. And then you continue that on not 0:18:19.960 --> 0:18:22.600 just Sunday morning, but on Monday you continue again, you 0:18:22.960 --> 0:18:24.760 dive back into the word again. You go, God, what 0:18:25.160 --> 0:18:27.640 I'm about to open this word, the inspired word by you, 0:18:29.280 --> 0:18:32.600 the word that people, thousands of people died for so 0:18:32.640 --> 0:18:34.879 that I could have this book, and I'm gonna read it. 0:18:34.880 --> 0:18:36.800 I'm gonna se what you gotta say about it about 0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:39.679 me today? What do you have to say to me? 0:18:39.760 --> 0:18:42.720 Open my eyes, open my ears to the message that's 0:18:42.720 --> 0:18:47.680 coming to me, because I'm gonna read it. So faith 0:18:47.800 --> 0:18:50.760 is an action. It's an action. It's not work. Don't 0:18:50.800 --> 0:18:53.880 work towards God. You don't have to do certain things 0:18:53.880 --> 0:18:57.239 to get closer to him. But if you want to 0:18:57.240 --> 0:19:00.480 be with him, get into the word, show up to 0:19:00.520 --> 0:19:05.280 church on Sunday. In fact, let's take a break and 0:19:05.320 --> 0:19:12.080 be right back. If you want to connect with me, 0:19:12.119 --> 0:19:14.399 there's two really easy ways to do it. One you 0:19:14.400 --> 0:19:16.959 could see me in person. Go to grangersmith dot com. 0:19:17.200 --> 0:19:20.000 Click on the homepage. It says meet Granger on a 0:19:20.040 --> 0:19:22.199 tab right there. Click it and find out how to 0:19:22.240 --> 0:19:24.920 meet me at any place we're going this year, probably 0:19:24.960 --> 0:19:28.040 all over, hopefully close to you. The second way is 0:19:28.119 --> 0:19:31.119 cameo dot com slash granger Smith. You can get a 0:19:31.200 --> 0:19:33.600 video shout out from me. It could be about an 0:19:33.600 --> 0:19:37.280 anniversary or birthday, maybe just to pick me up a congratulations, 0:19:37.320 --> 0:19:40.399 whatever it might be. I'll send you a personal video 0:19:40.520 --> 0:19:43.200 from my phone saying what you need me to say. 0:19:43.600 --> 0:19:46.400 Go to cameo dot com slash Granger Smith or download 0:19:46.440 --> 0:19:54.000 the cameo app and search for me Grangersmith. All right. 0:19:54.080 --> 0:19:56.600 Next question, subject CLIENTE says help for a friend. Hey, 0:19:56.600 --> 0:19:58.000 I have a question about a friend of mine. A 0:19:58.000 --> 0:20:00.399 little backstory. My friend got leukemia a couple years ago 0:20:00.440 --> 0:20:02.639 and has really been changed by it since then. He 0:20:02.760 --> 0:20:05.879 shut out most of his friends that he grew up with. Why. 0:20:06.080 --> 0:20:08.240 I really don't know the reason. All I have to 0:20:08.280 --> 0:20:10.760 say is I'm pretty much his only friend, and he's 0:20:10.760 --> 0:20:13.600 complaining about being lonely, bored and having no social life, 0:20:13.600 --> 0:20:16.119 but refuses to change any of that. How do I 0:20:16.240 --> 0:20:18.240 encourage him to get out there and to do more 0:20:18.280 --> 0:20:21.120 social events and make more friends. Whenever I talk to him, 0:20:21.119 --> 0:20:24.000 he seems somewhat depressed and it's always complaining that he'll 0:20:24.000 --> 0:20:28.080 never have a love since he's since he's twenty five 0:20:28.160 --> 0:20:31.480 and only getting older. Hopefully this makes sense. Any input 0:20:31.480 --> 0:20:34.320 would be appreciated. Thanks Harrison, Thank you Harrison, thanks for 0:20:34.359 --> 0:20:37.760 the email. First of all, let's just say twenty five 0:20:37.840 --> 0:20:42.320 mats young. That is super young. So what I want 0:20:42.359 --> 0:20:48.639 to encourage you to do with this is work on 0:20:49.240 --> 0:20:53.160 not trying to correct him and not trying to push 0:20:53.240 --> 0:21:01.199 him into situations, social events, other girls, whatever, that Just 0:21:01.280 --> 0:21:04.280 be there. Just just be there and just love him 0:21:04.280 --> 0:21:08.000 as a brother, you know. Just he's been through leukemia 0:21:08.080 --> 0:21:11.040 and you say something's changed, and you don't know what. Well, 0:21:11.080 --> 0:21:13.560 I don't know what. I've never had leukemia and you 0:21:13.640 --> 0:21:16.920 I don't think you have either, so we don't really 0:21:17.000 --> 0:21:20.600 know what he went through, or how difficult that was, 0:21:20.720 --> 0:21:24.560 or what kind of what kind of new perspective he 0:21:24.680 --> 0:21:26.760 got new lens that he was able to look at 0:21:26.800 --> 0:21:31.040 life with this idea of his own mortality like that 0:21:31.119 --> 0:21:33.760 changes people. I would I would expect that would change 0:21:33.760 --> 0:21:37.119 me or you. So I can't. I can't begin to 0:21:37.280 --> 0:21:40.679 understand what he's going through. So me and you, we 0:21:40.720 --> 0:21:44.080 don't have to, and we shouldn't. We just be there 0:21:44.680 --> 0:21:47.240 to love him as a brother and to if he 0:21:47.280 --> 0:21:51.160 doesn't have any friends, but you be that friend, pour 0:21:51.240 --> 0:21:55.560 into him. Don't expect anything from him, lower your expectations 0:21:55.560 --> 0:21:58.040 for what you need from him as a friend, and 0:21:58.119 --> 0:22:03.159 instead pour into him everything. Pick him up dinner, go 0:22:03.200 --> 0:22:04.879 pick him up to take him to the movies, go 0:22:04.960 --> 0:22:07.239 do some fun stuff together. And if he doesn't want 0:22:07.280 --> 0:22:10.240 to go, just go hang. Just go sit on the 0:22:10.240 --> 0:22:12.679 couch and hang and just talk and do whatever you 0:22:12.680 --> 0:22:15.640 gotta do. If he doesn't want to talk about leukemia 0:22:15.760 --> 0:22:19.320 or friends or being lonely, change the subject, talk about 0:22:19.400 --> 0:22:21.960 the new movie top Gun. I don't know, but just 0:22:22.000 --> 0:22:28.040