WEBVTT - Second Date Update: Adulting Out Of Control

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like even if you have a great date

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<v Speaker 1>for ninety nine point nine percent of the night, if

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<v Speaker 1>you end it on an awkward note, that can be

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<v Speaker 1>the kiss of death for the relationship. Oh, I say, sure,

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<v Speaker 1>you got to end on a high note. Also, a

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<v Speaker 1>death kiss not a good way to end date. Valid

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<v Speaker 1>point and one of our listeners, mary Elle, emailed us

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<v Speaker 1>saying she felt like the majority of her evening went

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<v Speaker 1>really well, but the ending was a little bit weird.

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<v Speaker 1>She's hoping that it didn't ruin it, but let's find

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<v Speaker 1>out what happened. Hey, mary Elle, how are you doing?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm good. How are you all doing? Good? Yeah, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>interested to hear what happened at the end of your date.

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<v Speaker 1>But I think we have to go through a couple

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<v Speaker 1>of things before we get there. Yeah, I think we

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<v Speaker 1>should probably start at the beginning. Who is this guy?

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<v Speaker 1>His name is Pete? Okay, and how do you know him? Well?

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<v Speaker 1>I met Pete threw a mutual friend. We were set up. Oh, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>were you excited about that? I was, actually because my

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<v Speaker 1>friend told me he was a little bit more of

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<v Speaker 1>like an easygoing, laid back kind of guy, and it

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<v Speaker 1>was really refreshing to hear, because my last relationship was

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit more straight edged. So um, it was

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<v Speaker 1>nice to meet someone who was a little bit more free.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like they always do that whenever you get

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<v Speaker 1>out of a relationship. They're always like, oh, don't worry,

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<v Speaker 1>he's not anything like the horrible person that you dated

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<v Speaker 1>last time. He's the opposite. Yeah, and he was pretty

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<v Speaker 1>cute too. I saw some of his pictures online, so okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I was really excited. Okay, So like your ex boyfriend

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<v Speaker 1>who was a total ug, that's right. I mean, they're

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<v Speaker 1>hot when you're dating them. But what would you guys

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<v Speaker 1>end up doing for your date together? So we just

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<v Speaker 1>met up for drinks and I was actually coming off work,

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<v Speaker 1>so I thought I would just go straight from work

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<v Speaker 1>and we could see what happens after that. And so

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<v Speaker 1>this was a this was a blind date. You guys

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<v Speaker 1>hadn't ever seen each other or met prior to this.

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<v Speaker 1>Prior to no, just like I looked at his pictures online.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if he saw pictures of me, but

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sure yeah, I just saw pictures. So what was

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<v Speaker 1>it like when you met him? So I, like I said,

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<v Speaker 1>I just went straight from work, so I was still

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<v Speaker 1>in like my work clothes. I didn't get to change

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<v Speaker 1>or anything like that. When I approached him, I thought

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<v Speaker 1>he was really cute, but he said something weird to me.

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<v Speaker 1>He said that I looked like Chris Jenner, Oh my god,

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<v Speaker 1>the Dashian of all. Yeah, but there's like four you

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<v Speaker 1>don't sound old. Noah, Maybe he meant you're well dressed.

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<v Speaker 1>He actually said, yeah, the middle one. And in my

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<v Speaker 1>head I'm thinking, like he just throwing out a Kardashian.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know, as long as he'd ever compare you

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<v Speaker 1>to Rob then you're they're all pretty good looking. What

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<v Speaker 1>do you do for work? Like? What kind of outfit

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<v Speaker 1>were you in that you look like a Kardashians, Like

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<v Speaker 1>big fake fur? Yeah, so I work in an office,

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<v Speaker 1>so I usually wear like a blazer and some it's

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<v Speaker 1>not like super work professional professional work pants, but power Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you're looking like a power lady. Yeah. So how did

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<v Speaker 1>drinks actually go? With him? So the day I felt

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<v Speaker 1>like was going pretty well. We actually talked about some

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<v Speaker 1>of our hobbies, which were like he likes to do

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<v Speaker 1>that stationary bike peloton, Yeah, he likes to do that.

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<v Speaker 1>I take boxing classes and some archery lessons and yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>so I felt like we kind of bonded on the

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<v Speaker 1>exercise aspect. Was there any exciting parts of the date,

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<v Speaker 1>because I think that's exciting, Like, was there any like

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<v Speaker 1>flirty moments or anytime you like cracked up on? Control

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<v Speaker 1>of peloton? Is flirty? Brook? You? Obviously I've never ridden

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<v Speaker 1>one everywhere? What's your usual output? I don't know. If

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<v Speaker 1>you're a peloton rider, then you know. I last week

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<v Speaker 1>and damn it was hot again. I was asking for

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<v Speaker 1>the highlights? An all right, Maria, was anything more exciting

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<v Speaker 1>than peloton talk happening? I think we were joking around,

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<v Speaker 1>we were connecting on topics, and so we wanted to

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<v Speaker 1>keep going, but they weren't. We were both getting hungry

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<v Speaker 1>and they weren't. They didn't serve food there at the

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<v Speaker 1>spot we were at. Okay, Yeah, so I live close

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<v Speaker 1>by and I offered to make him some dinner, and

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<v Speaker 1>I never yeah, and so I never invite someone over

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<v Speaker 1>if I'm meeting them for the first time, Like that's

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<v Speaker 1>just kind of crazy. But I figured we were hitting

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<v Speaker 1>it off. He didn't seem weird or anything like that.

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<v Speaker 1>So I that makes sense too, because like your friend

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<v Speaker 1>had already vouched for him, right, So there's like a

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<v Speaker 1>level of trust going into it. It's a little bit

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<v Speaker 1>different than just a total stranger. Okay. So then I

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<v Speaker 1>brought him up to my place and I had rice

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<v Speaker 1>and like some shrimps. So I just threw something together

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<v Speaker 1>real quick, and he seemed to like it and enjoy it,

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<v Speaker 1>and we talked some more and nothing weird was happening.

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<v Speaker 1>We had some more wine, but then it was getting

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<v Speaker 1>late and I have work in the morning, so I

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<v Speaker 1>just said that I should be getting to bed soon.

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<v Speaker 1>Did he see that as an invitation? Look at Jeffrey's

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<v Speaker 1>even responsored there. I don't know. I thought opposite. I

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<v Speaker 1>guess it depends on how you said it. Yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>that's true. Did you say it with a whisper? To bed? Now?

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<v Speaker 1>As you said it? Power blazer slip one? Okay. I

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<v Speaker 1>questioned all of your flirting habits, Mary. How did it go?

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<v Speaker 1>He was respectable and he didn't seem to try anything,

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<v Speaker 1>and he went home, and I was a little worried

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<v Speaker 1>that I might have hurt his feeling because I needed

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<v Speaker 1>to go to bed. You invited him over to your

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<v Speaker 1>house and fed him. He doesn't guarantee stay the night

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<v Speaker 1>of first hangout. Have you checked it with your girlfriend

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<v Speaker 1>who set you guys up? She hasn't said anything in

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<v Speaker 1>regards to whether or not he wants to see me

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<v Speaker 1>again or anything like that. I thought I thought she

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<v Speaker 1>was a good friend. Yeah, well, fend to him and

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<v Speaker 1>that could be. That could be. Yeah, I don't I

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<v Speaker 1>don't even know if they've talked about it. I have

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<v Speaker 1>messaged him, yeah, and I haven't heard too much back

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<v Speaker 1>from him. But the stuff that I do here is

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<v Speaker 1>just seems like a like normal kind of conversation. I

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<v Speaker 1>believe in chemistry, vibes, like there's a connection. You can

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<v Speaker 1>tell if someone's changed their feelings they're about to drop you. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and you have no idea why? No? Okay, well, let's

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<v Speaker 1>play a song. We'll come back. We'll call Pete for you.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll try and get you your second date up date? Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>Mariol Okay, great, thank you? All right, hold on, second

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<v Speaker 1>date up date. What can you say to a guy

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<v Speaker 1>that you're interested in to let him know that you

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<v Speaker 1>do like him, but you also have real world obligations.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you say a I've had fun, but I have

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<v Speaker 1>real world's obligations and I have to wake up early,

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<v Speaker 1>reasonable though? Or do you go with option B and

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<v Speaker 1>say I like you, but I do have to go

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<v Speaker 1>to bed for work. It is okay if you want

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<v Speaker 1>to stand and watch. I always choose B because it

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<v Speaker 1>lets them know that you are still interested. So you're

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<v Speaker 1>not the watcher, you're the sleeper. Yes, okay, I will

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<v Speaker 1>sleep so that they're with me until my last conscious moment.

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<v Speaker 1>They just stand above you. Yeah, it must be easy

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<v Speaker 1>to drift off. It's called romance book. Oh but our listener, Maryelle,

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<v Speaker 1>chose option A and look what happened not getting a

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<v Speaker 1>call style? Yeah, Maryall, are you regretting that now that

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<v Speaker 1>you know that there's another option? A little bit? A

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<v Speaker 1>little bit? Yeah, that's okay. See, these are learning experiences

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<v Speaker 1>for a lot of our listeners, so you'll know better

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<v Speaker 1>next time. Yeah, but we're almost ready to call Pete

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<v Speaker 1>for you. How you feeling here? A little nervous? I guess.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't mean to make you feel worse, but I'm

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<v Speaker 1>nervous for you too. I am. Oh. I mean, here's

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<v Speaker 1>the thing, Maryall, like you sound so awesome. You saund

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<v Speaker 1>really nice. You did kind things for him on the

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<v Speaker 1>date and you have no idea why he's calling back.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like maybe you're a little naive and you

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<v Speaker 1>miss something. And I don't mean to say that in

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<v Speaker 1>a bad way, but no, I'm just I'm just worried.

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<v Speaker 1>We're gonna get him on the phone and he's gonna say,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, something that might hurt your feelings. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought we connected. I thought we had a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of things in common. Maybe that's true in your defense,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe he's literally just busy see you giving you space,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, a lot of space, like a lot. Yeah, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>And you know what, maryl If for some reason Pete

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<v Speaker 1>does agree to go out with you again, I will

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<v Speaker 1>ask him if he will watch you as you go

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<v Speaker 1>to sleep, just to make sure this goes smoothly for

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<v Speaker 1>the rest of the relationship. That has your back, Marye.

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<v Speaker 1>That's right. So let's do this. I'm gonna give Pete

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<v Speaker 1>a call and we're gonna get your second date update.

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<v Speaker 1>You're ready, ready? All right? Here we go. Hello? Hey

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<v Speaker 1>is this Pete? This is Pete? Who's this? Hey Pete?

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<v Speaker 1>My name's Jeff from the radio show Broken Jeffrey in

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<v Speaker 1>the Morning. How you doing, man Um, I'm Okay, how'd

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<v Speaker 1>you get this number? Well, we got your number from

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<v Speaker 1>one of our listeners who's been trying to get a

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<v Speaker 1>hold of you. Okay. It's part of a segment that

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<v Speaker 1>we do on our show called a second Date Update.

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<v Speaker 1>That's where if you go out with someone and afterwards,

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<v Speaker 1>if that person isn't calling you back, you can email

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<v Speaker 1>us and we'll reach out to them for you to

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<v Speaker 1>help you figure out the reason why. And so, okay.

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<v Speaker 1>The woman that reached out to us, her name's Mariel. Oh, Marielle. Okay, good,

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<v Speaker 1>Oh Marielle. Like that a good vibe out of that one, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>but maybe not the best vibe. Not the best vibe. Okay. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>mary Elle told us a little bit about your date,

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<v Speaker 1>and she felt like there was a good vibe. So

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<v Speaker 1>obviously there's been a disconnect there and she's been having

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<v Speaker 1>trouble reaching you and she doesn't really understand why you're

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<v Speaker 1>not responding. Well, I mean, listen, Mariel's really nice. She

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<v Speaker 1>seemed super sweet, and I think I even put my

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<v Speaker 1>foot in my mouth calling her a Kardashian. Hopefully it

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<v Speaker 1>was the right one, but no, I don't think it was.

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<v Speaker 1>She told us about that you went with the matriarchy.

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<v Speaker 1>See that's how dated. I I have no idea. I

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<v Speaker 1>just thought she looked pretty and professional. She looked great.

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<v Speaker 1>I was trying to give her a compliment. Yeah, no's awesome,

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<v Speaker 1>And she honestly brought it up as a funny moment

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<v Speaker 1>from a date, not like a low moment from the date.

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<v Speaker 1>It sounds like you really like her. Well, so, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean she seems like a really nice person on

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<v Speaker 1>that one. Yea, what I mean, let's get to the

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<v Speaker 1>reason why you're not calling her back, because that's what

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<v Speaker 1>she's confused about. Well, I mean, I'm not gonna lie

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<v Speaker 1>like she has like a paper calendar up on her wall.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, like my mother has one of those on

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<v Speaker 1>her refrigerator at home. Wait, what are you talking about?

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<v Speaker 1>My mom has one too. Hold on, hold on, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>slow down, Yeah, you're saying when you went over to

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<v Speaker 1>her house, yes, well, so she invited me over and

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<v Speaker 1>we had dinner. But as I'm looking around, it's like

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<v Speaker 1>she's got anti cat collection up on the wall. One

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<v Speaker 1>of the things that she mentioned was that she has

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<v Speaker 1>to be in bed by ten pm every night. And

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not a child. As a bedtime like I like

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<v Speaker 1>to stay up until I'm ready to go to bed,

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<v Speaker 1>and then I want to come. You're talking to the

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<v Speaker 1>wrong crowd. We all do morning radio by nine bro.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't still quite get it. And those are the

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<v Speaker 1>reasons you're not calling her back. She's like old. She

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<v Speaker 1>has old cat pictures. It's like, you know, you're asking me,

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<v Speaker 1>do I like my mother? Yes? I loved my mother. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I've got old your mom. We're asking you if you

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<v Speaker 1>like someone that is a responsible adult. Is what it

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<v Speaker 1>sounds like to me. Yeah, I like her as a person.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if I see us with anything more

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<v Speaker 1>than that. There was excuse me, I have something to

0:12:41.559 --> 0:12:46.920
<v Speaker 1>stay here? Oh yeah, Pete. That's that's Maryelle on the

0:12:47.000 --> 0:12:48.720
<v Speaker 1>other line. She was supposed to wait till I called

0:12:48.720 --> 0:12:53.199
<v Speaker 1>her in, but uh yeah, she's she's there schedule. Yeah,

0:12:53.200 --> 0:12:55.440
<v Speaker 1>I guess she has things that she's got to do. Um,

0:12:55.960 --> 0:13:00.480
<v Speaker 1>what is this like? It's to put it back? Yeah,

0:13:00.520 --> 0:13:04.520
<v Speaker 1>it's a fun radio segment we do. All right, So

0:13:04.679 --> 0:13:08.160
<v Speaker 1>you're not calling me back because I have a calendar. Well,

0:13:08.480 --> 0:13:10.400
<v Speaker 1>I mean, when you boil it down that much, it

0:13:10.520 --> 0:13:14.120
<v Speaker 1>sounds really bad. I think the calendars just microcosm of

0:13:14.559 --> 0:13:17.480
<v Speaker 1>just maybe your lifestyle and my lifestyle are in different places.

0:13:17.559 --> 0:13:22.000
<v Speaker 1>You know what, wait, what is your lifestyle, Pete? I

0:13:22.040 --> 0:13:24.360
<v Speaker 1>don't understand. I mean, what would you prefer to see

0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:28.360
<v Speaker 1>on her walls? You know, not paper calendars, an antique

0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:32.679
<v Speaker 1>cat like an Avengers poster. It's crinkled up with no

0:13:32.920 --> 0:13:37.200
<v Speaker 1>frame on it. Sure, so, because I live my life

0:13:37.480 --> 0:13:40.839
<v Speaker 1>as an adult and you don't, this is why you

0:13:41.000 --> 0:13:44.160
<v Speaker 1>don't think we can hang out again. I don't understand.

0:13:45.040 --> 0:13:50.520
<v Speaker 1>I mean it sounds like you actually understand about perfectly. Mariel, Like, Wow,

0:13:51.080 --> 0:13:54.600
<v Speaker 1>she's adulting too hard for you. Pictures are a little much.

0:13:56.000 --> 0:13:58.280
<v Speaker 1>Everybody has different interests, Mariel, I mean, like, what are

0:13:58.320 --> 0:14:01.800
<v Speaker 1>you what are you feeling right now? I'm definitely not

0:14:02.160 --> 0:14:04.400
<v Speaker 1>thinking about going on a second date with him. I

0:14:04.440 --> 0:14:08.280
<v Speaker 1>mean he just sounds so childish. Yeah, here's me, Mariel, Like,

0:14:08.520 --> 0:14:10.800
<v Speaker 1>I haven't even been asking for a second date. I

0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:13.559
<v Speaker 1>feel like I've been cordial and nice. But I think

0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:16.040
<v Speaker 1>that if there's a vibe there, then you know we're

0:14:16.040 --> 0:14:18.040
<v Speaker 1>good to go. But there kind of hasn't been. So

0:14:18.840 --> 0:14:22.840
<v Speaker 1>we're not say opposite, right, you guys are very opposite

0:14:23.000 --> 0:14:25.480
<v Speaker 1>in this case. I'm not really sure. You could have

0:14:25.560 --> 0:14:28.240
<v Speaker 1>said something more in the text message. I've been texting

0:14:28.280 --> 0:14:30.240
<v Speaker 1>you and like, I mean, you could have at least

0:14:30.240 --> 0:14:32.640
<v Speaker 1>said like, hey, this isn't going to work out or something.

0:14:32.920 --> 0:14:35.080
<v Speaker 1>But you're acting childish and you just want to like

0:14:35.280 --> 0:14:37.560
<v Speaker 1>string me along or something like that. Yeah, see, that's

0:14:37.600 --> 0:14:41.160
<v Speaker 1>what adults do. He doesn't know how to do that. Mariel.

0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:43.920
<v Speaker 1>I feel like we're getting really into the weeds and

0:14:44.040 --> 0:14:46.680
<v Speaker 1>it's like, I don't think we're even there. Mariel. Yeah,

0:14:47.680 --> 0:14:52.280
<v Speaker 1>probably because you're acting like a man baby. I don't

0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:54.040
<v Speaker 1>really know what to say. I didn't mean they like

0:14:54.160 --> 0:14:55.760
<v Speaker 1>lie to you. I was just trying to be nice,

0:14:55.800 --> 0:14:57.840
<v Speaker 1>and I guess I should have been more upfront. Yeah,

0:14:57.880 --> 0:14:59.400
<v Speaker 1>she's trying to be nice and ghost you and I'll

0:14:59.400 --> 0:15:02.840
<v Speaker 1>talk to you again. Well, one day you owe someone

0:15:02.920 --> 0:15:05.040
<v Speaker 1>a million tacks. I don't think you do. But here's

0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:07.440
<v Speaker 1>the thing, Mariel to her defense, like, yeah, she may

0:15:07.520 --> 0:15:09.640
<v Speaker 1>have some cat things around her house, but she called

0:15:09.680 --> 0:15:12.280
<v Speaker 1>a really cool radio station to get you on the

0:15:12.400 --> 0:15:23.280
<v Speaker 1>phone radio And that's what I mean. And Mariel mentioned

0:15:23.320 --> 0:15:27.040
<v Speaker 1>to us Pete that you have a peloton that's an

0:15:27.080 --> 0:15:30.560
<v Speaker 1>old person exercise machine, but young people can't afford that.

0:15:30.800 --> 0:15:34.040
<v Speaker 1>That's why it has to be. I'll ride my peloton

0:15:34.120 --> 0:15:36.480
<v Speaker 1>in my full Spandex gear if I want. That's fun.

0:15:36.680 --> 0:15:41.080
<v Speaker 1>There you go Spandex to ride your peloton. You got

0:15:41.200 --> 0:15:43.360
<v Speaker 1>to have protective gear, the helmet at the glove he

0:15:44.080 --> 0:15:46.960
<v Speaker 1>do whatever fun. You put training wheels on your peloton too.

0:15:47.040 --> 0:15:50.760
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god. Okay, well, at this point, I don't

0:15:50.760 --> 0:15:52.640
<v Speaker 1>know how we could possibly save this, so I'm just

0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:55.400
<v Speaker 1>gonna ask Pete, would you like to go out on

0:15:55.480 --> 0:15:58.840
<v Speaker 1>another date with Mariel. We'll pay for it. She could

0:15:58.880 --> 0:16:02.120
<v Speaker 1>pencil it into her calendar on her wall. I'm going

0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:06.280
<v Speaker 1>to have to respectfully decline. I think you wanted the

0:16:06.360 --> 0:16:09.960
<v Speaker 1>day anyway, did you? Marry'all? No, I would not even

0:16:10.040 --> 0:16:13.960
<v Speaker 1>consider it. And Pete, I think you're going to have

0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:16.840
<v Speaker 1>to pay me back for dinner because since this isn't

0:16:16.840 --> 0:16:20.000
<v Speaker 1>going to work out, you owe me for the shrimp.

0:16:20.320 --> 0:16:23.240
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god. And I can guarantee you she has

0:16:23.240 --> 0:16:30.080
<v Speaker 1>a paper receipt to prove the price. Yeah. Brooke and

0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:31.240
<v Speaker 1>Jeffrey in the morning,