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Speaker 1: What's up, Joel, Hello, my friend man.

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Speaker 2: This is an episode for all the folks out there

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Speaker 2: who might be driving to visit their parents right now

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Speaker 2: over the holidays.

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Speaker 1: If any on your family dynamic, you're either super pomped

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Speaker 1: or slightly hesitant.

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Speaker 2: Indeed, Yeah, our conversation last week actually with doctor Jay

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Speaker 2: got me thinking about this because we he presented the

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Speaker 2: fact that folks who don't have kids, how there are

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Speaker 2: other complications, other problems that have to be addressed, in particular,

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Speaker 2: when you are in your later years of life, you

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Speaker 2: don't have somebody there who's advocating for you. And bottom line,

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Speaker 2: if you are listening to this, you definitely you may

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Speaker 2: not have kids, but you definitely have parents and oh

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Speaker 2: is that how that works? Yeah, And it's important to

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Speaker 2: make sure that you've had somebody these harder conversations like

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Speaker 2: what does your parents like? What do their personal finances

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Speaker 2: look like? And if in your mind it's just like

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Speaker 2: this big box with a question mark on it, then

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Speaker 2: this is I think would be the episode for you.

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Speaker 1: Well, I think a lot of people, Matt, that is true,

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Speaker 1: Like there's the big box with the question mark and

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Speaker 1: you wouldn't touch it with a ten foot Pole a

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Speaker 1: Lah the Grinch and.

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Speaker 2: So you may not want to, but you're gonna be

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Speaker 2: forced to. But do you need to?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And this episode is all about how to do

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Speaker 1: that well without like poking the bear causing a fight.

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Speaker 1: How do you actually have those conversations in a productive

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Speaker 1: manner and bring up uncomfortable topics. So, yeah, this has

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Speaker 1: been a while since we created this episode.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this is this was a much younger Joel and

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Speaker 2: Matt who had this conversation with Cameron Huddleston. But we

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Speaker 2: hope you enjoy it.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to How to Money. I'm Joel and I'm Matt,

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Speaker 1: and today we're discussing having essential money conversations with your

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Speaker 1: parents with Cameron Huddleston.

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Speaker 2: That's right, Joel. Cameron Huddleston is an award winning journalist

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Speaker 2: with more than seventeen years of experi it's writing about

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Speaker 2: personal finance. Her work has appeared in Kiplinger's Personal Finance,

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Speaker 2: Business Insider, Chicago Tribune, plus many more, and she's been

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Speaker 2: all over TV too. She's appeared on MSNBC, Fox, and CNN.

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Speaker 2: Cameron has recently published her book Mom and Dad We

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Speaker 2: Need to Talk, which is all about having essential conversations

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Speaker 2: with your parents about their finances, and be sure to

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Speaker 2: stick around until the end of this episode so that

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Speaker 2: you can find out how you can enter to win

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Speaker 2: a copy of the book as well. So, Cameron, thanks

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Speaker 2: so much for joining us on this episode.

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Speaker 3: Thanks so much for having me.

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Speaker 1: All Right, So, Cameron, every week on the show, Matt

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Speaker 1: and I we have a beer. Today on the show,

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Speaker 1: we're drinking a beer called Fairy Nectar by Cross Train

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Speaker 1: Brewing Company, and big thanks to our listener Joey and

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Speaker 1: Omaha for sending it our way. So we intentionally drink

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Speaker 1: a beer on every episode because we think that even

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Speaker 1: while saving for the future and thinking ahead about your money,

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Speaker 1: we should also splurge in the here and now and

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Speaker 1: live life to the fullest. So what's your splurge? What's

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Speaker 1: your beer equivalent?

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Speaker 3: I have a couple of beer equivalents. One is certainly travel,

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Speaker 3: and I know people don't always think of that as

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Speaker 3: a splurge. They think of it as a you know,

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Speaker 3: a great part of life getting out there and seeing

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Speaker 3: and do things. And we have a goal of getting

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Speaker 3: our kids to all fifty states. So travel is one

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Speaker 3: thing that we're definitely willing to spend money on. And

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Speaker 3: then my two guilty pleasures that I think some people

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Speaker 3: might see as a splurge. One is home to core

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Speaker 3: Like I am, like such a huge fan of interior

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Speaker 3: design magazines and blogs, and I want my house to

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Speaker 3: look nice, So I will splurge on things that make

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Speaker 3: my house look nice. Now, because I'm a personal finance journalist,

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Speaker 3: I am strategic about my purchases. I wait for sales,

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Speaker 3: I look for a good deal, So I'm not out

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Speaker 3: there buying the most expensive sofa you can find. In fact,

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Speaker 3: I'm haggling with the store owner to get a good

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Speaker 3: deal on the sofa, which I've done with about every

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Speaker 3: piece of first nurture and rug and everything that I

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Speaker 3: have at my house. And so that's one thing I

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Speaker 3: spurge on. And then jewelry too, but I don't Again,

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Speaker 3: I don't buy really expensive diamond rings or diamond ear rings.

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Speaker 3: You know. All my nice stuff is stuff that I've

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Speaker 3: inherited that I could never afford on my own. It's

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Speaker 3: just you know, inexpensive costume jewelry that I like. And

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Speaker 3: these are the things that I these are my guilty pleasures.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's always nice to kind of get a window

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Speaker 1: into what people value. And I feel like this question

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Speaker 1: kind of kicks off things in a really interesting way.

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Speaker 1: And I love that you already brought up your ambitious

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Speaker 1: travel goals. Can you tell us kind of what your

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Speaker 1: goals are traveling with your family and then like, how

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Speaker 1: are you saving money on those travels?

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Speaker 3: I would say that I have three kids, and my

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Speaker 3: oldest two have been to more than half of the

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Speaker 3: states already. My youngest has some catching up to do, however,

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Speaker 3: and we got off track a little bit last year

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Speaker 3: because we didn't use our summer vacation time to visit

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Speaker 3: more states. We ended up going overseas, but that's because

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Speaker 3: my husband is a foreigner, so he went overseas to

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Speaker 3: see his family and tucked in a trip to Paris

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Speaker 3: and Dublin, Ireland on the way there and on the

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Speaker 3: way back to Ukraine. You know, I hate to say this,

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Speaker 3: but it was a little bit rough because we flew

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Speaker 3: into Paris and had what two or three days there,

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Speaker 3: and we got there in the morning, and my husband

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Speaker 3: was so determined to get our money's worth that we

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Speaker 3: I mean, we had to hit the ground running and

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Speaker 3: like start seeing from the moment we got there I

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Speaker 3: ended up falling asleep on a boat to or through

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Speaker 3: Paris because.

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Speaker 2: I was so exhausted. My kids are like, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: saw that.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. I know. My kids are like, mom, Mom,

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Speaker 3: you're asleep your mouth hanging out, but oh my god,

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Speaker 3: don't care. I'm so tired, you know. But we because

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Speaker 3: we do travel, we're always looking for ways to save

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Speaker 3: money on it. Like if we aren't using rewards points

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Speaker 3: from credit cards to pay for hotels to pay for flights,

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Speaker 3: we're we are searching and searching and searching for the

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Speaker 3: best deal on flights, on accommodations. We plan out our

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Speaker 3: itineries thoroughly to find dining options that fit within our budget,

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Speaker 3: looking for free and low cost things to do. We

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Speaker 3: spend a lot of time when we're planning our travels,

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Speaker 3: so we're certainly not fly by the seat of our

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Speaker 3: pants type of people. We put a lot of planning

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Speaker 3: into it just so we can make it fit within

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Speaker 3: our budget.

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Speaker 2: Nice as as far as seeing the country, see in

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Speaker 2: the US, are y'all flying to different cities and kind

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Speaker 2: of going on little little johnts there or are you

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Speaker 2: actually road tripping and taking like the RV kind of

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Speaker 2: doing that whole thing, because that's something I've been actually

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Speaker 2: thinking about doing in the near future. With my family.

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Speaker 3: We have flown to destinations and we have driven. We

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Speaker 3: have not done the RV. My husband wants to so badly,

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Speaker 3: like he really wants to rent one. He's talked about

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Speaker 3: buying one, and I'm like, no, we're not buying an RV.

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Speaker 3: Think about how many trips we could take for the

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Speaker 3: amount we'd have to spend for an RV. He's still

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Speaker 3: hanging on to that idea. I am not on board

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Speaker 3: with it. Even though I do like a good road trip,

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Speaker 3: I'm not super excited about the cost of an RV,

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Speaker 3: even if it comes to renting one, because I feel

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Speaker 3: like if we take our car stay in hotels versus

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Speaker 3: the cost of the RV, the rental cost, the gas,

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Speaker 3: I don't feel like we would actually come out ahead.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that can be true totally depending on how much

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Speaker 1: you use the RV. You know, whether how old the

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Speaker 1: RV is that you're buying, if you're buying one, stuff

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Speaker 1: like that. So I love hearing about your travels, but

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Speaker 1: I want to kind of start talking about the book

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Speaker 1: here in just a second. Before that, can you kind

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Speaker 1: of tell us about how you started writing about money

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Speaker 1: for a living, kind of what drew you into that.

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Speaker 3: I became a journalist right out of college. I was

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Speaker 3: a journalist a major, but I was just a general

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Speaker 3: assignment reporter at a daily newspaper and had no experience

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Speaker 3: writing about money or business. I didn't take a single

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Speaker 3: course on business or money, so I just happened to

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Speaker 3: fall into it. I had been a reporter for several years,

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Speaker 3: and in my late twenties I landed a job with

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Speaker 3: dal Jones Newswires as a business reporter and thought, I

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Speaker 3: want to stick with this line of reporting for a

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Speaker 3: variety of reasons. But because I had not taken any

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Speaker 3: business related courses during my undergrad years, I decided to

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Speaker 3: get a master's at American University. They had a program

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Speaker 3: where you could pick a specialty, and I chose economic journalism.

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Speaker 3: Took economics courses business courses, and it helped that I

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Speaker 3: had a free tutor, my husband, who was getting his

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Speaker 3: doctorate in economics at the time. And yeah, it was

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Speaker 3: super aany and I was like, all right, if I

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Speaker 3: get stuck up at someone who can help me out.

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Speaker 3: That program lasted for a year and when I graduated.

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Speaker 3: I graduated into the beginning of a recession. It was

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Speaker 3: two thousand and one. The economy was starting to slow

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Speaker 3: and dal Jones had a hiring freeze, so I couldn't

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Speaker 3: get my job back there. Other places had hiring freezes

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Speaker 3: where I wanted to work, but Kiplinger's Personal Finance was

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Speaker 3: hiring an editor for its website, which was pretty new

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Speaker 3: at the time. I mean, this was two thousand and one,

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Speaker 3: and really web journalism, online journalism was a very new thing.

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Speaker 3: I had always written for print and really didn't know

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Speaker 3: much about writing for the web, and didn't know anything

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Speaker 3: about personal finance, but they took a chance on me

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Speaker 3: and I stayed with it. I really enjoyed it. I

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Speaker 3: still enjoy it, and I realized how much I have

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Speaker 3: benefited from the job. I didn't really know much about

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Speaker 3: personal finance before I got started writing about it, and

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Speaker 3: learned so much that has helped me in my everyday life,

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Speaker 3: things I probably would not have learned if I hadn't

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Speaker 3: gotten that job.

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Speaker 2: Better way to learn than just to get thrown right right.

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Speaker 3: Here and force yourself into it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, exactly. I like it. I want to hear

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Speaker 2: more about your book it's called mom and Dad, we

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Speaker 2: need to talk And just in a nutshell, can you

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Speaker 2: describe for our listeners just what your book is all about.

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Speaker 3: My book is encouragement for people adult children to have

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Speaker 3: conversations with their parents about their finances. I go through

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Speaker 3: the reasons why you need to have these conversations, how

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Speaker 3: to get over your fears of having these conversations, some

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Speaker 3: tips on starting the conversation, how to get through to

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Speaker 3: reluctant parents, what sort of information you need to gather,

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Speaker 3: and what to do if your parents refuse to talk

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Speaker 3: to you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, hey, Cameron, I'm actually in this book. I make

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Speaker 1: a little appearance, which is crazy cool. So thank you

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Speaker 1: for having me in the book. And I kind of

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Speaker 1: told my story about talking with my parents about money

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Speaker 1: and what that was like for me. So tell me

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Speaker 1: about the folks that told their story in this book,

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Speaker 1: Like what some of the most interesting things that you

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Speaker 1: heard from the people that you invited to participate.

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Speaker 3: I feel so fortunate the people are willing to share

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Speaker 3: their stories with me, because I got lots of great stories.

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Speaker 3: They ranged from people like you Joel, who had parents

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Speaker 3: who were very reluctant to talk about their finances. To

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Speaker 3: some people who had the conversation and were surprised by

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Speaker 3: how easy it was. You know, they had a lot

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Speaker 3: of fears about having bringing it up, and when they

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Speaker 3: actually did, their parents were really willing to talk to them.

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Speaker 3: And I found there were more people in that situation, fortunately,

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Speaker 3: than people in situations like yours where the parents were

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Speaker 3: reluctant to talk, which I think hopefully the readers of

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Speaker 3: the book are going to come away realizing that these

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Speaker 3: conversations are as scary as they think they might be,

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Speaker 3: and even sometimes when parents pushed back, if you are

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Speaker 3: patient and you continue trying, you can get through to them.

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Speaker 3: Probably my favorite story is this kind of worst case

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Speaker 3: scenario story what happens when you don't have the conversation.

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Speaker 3: I really don't want people to skip this chapter. I

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Speaker 3: interviewed a man named Doug Nordman, who is a super

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Speaker 3: financially savvy guy. He's a personal finance blogger and he's

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Speaker 3: written a book about money. It's geared toward military members.

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Speaker 3: He had not talked to his father before he developed Alzheimer's,

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Speaker 3: and his father ended up in the hospital for an

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Speaker 3: emergency surgery and then ended up in a nursing home

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Speaker 3: for rehabilitation for a while. Doug, who lives in Hawaii,

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Speaker 3: had to go to Colorado when his dad was getting

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Speaker 3: the surgery and ended up in the nursing home and

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Speaker 3: wanted to make sure his dad's bills got paid, but

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Speaker 3: he couldn't. He couldn't get access to his dad's bank

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Speaker 3: account because his dad had not named him power of attorney,

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Speaker 3: and so Doug ended up spending nine months and ten

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Speaker 3: thousand dollars going through the court process to get legal

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Speaker 3: access to his dad's financial accounts, And then he also

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Speaker 3: had to spend all this other money out of pocket

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Speaker 3: covering his dad's bills until he did get access to

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Speaker 3: his bat his dad's bank account. You know, and I

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Speaker 3: it's so important for people to realize that your parents

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Speaker 3: need certain legal documents before you can step in and

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Speaker 3: start making financial decisions for them or healthcare decisions for them.

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Speaker 3: If an emergency or wise is, you can't just go

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Speaker 3: to the bank and say, you know, hey, my dad

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Speaker 3: just had a stroke or my dad has Alzheimer's and

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Speaker 3: he's in the hospital, I need to sign his text

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Speaker 3: for them to pay his bill, because the bank is

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Speaker 3: going to say no way, not unless your power of attorney.

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Speaker 3: That story in particular highlights some of the things that

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Speaker 3: can go really wrong if you don't have these conversations

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Speaker 3: soon enough with your parents.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely highlights that necessity.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, and I'm sure some of those worst

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Speaker 2: case scenario stories like that, I mean, they're just eye opening,

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Speaker 2: right Cameron. So, I mean, why is it, though, that

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Speaker 2: you wanted to actually write the book. Was there a

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Speaker 2: sort of moment in your life and you realize that

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Speaker 2: this just needed to be out there or what was

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Speaker 2: it for you that kind of lit the fire under you?

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Speaker 3: It was my mom's situation. My mother was diagnosed with

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Speaker 3: Alzheimer's when she was sixty five and I was only

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Speaker 3: thirty five, and I had to step in and get

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Speaker 3: involved with her finances, and I had not had detailed

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Speaker 3: conversations with her before she started having memory problems. I

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Speaker 3: did talk her in to going to meet with an

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Speaker 3: attorney to update all of her legal documents, and this

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Speaker 3: was this was right around the time of the Alzheimer's diagnosis.

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Speaker 3: Her dementia had not progressed too far. She was still

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Speaker 3: competent enough to sign those documents. But because I had

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Speaker 3: not talked to her and had to start getting involved.

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Speaker 3: You know, trying to figure out someone's finances when they

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Speaker 3: don't have a clear picture of them themselves because they're

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Speaker 3: having memory problems was incredibly difficult for me. And I

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Speaker 3: was at a point in my life where I didn't

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Speaker 3: have any friends who were going through a similar situation.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I was thirty five years old.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you were young. Your mom was young to receive

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Speaker 1: that diagnosis. And then on top of just all the

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Speaker 1: emotions that you're feeling and the difficulty of processing this

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Speaker 1: change in your relationship with your mom, you're having to

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Speaker 1: sort out the financial piece too.

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Speaker 3: Right, And I didn't have anyone to ask for advice, like,

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Speaker 3: I had to figure this all out on my own,

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Speaker 3: even though you know, there were some things I certainly

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Speaker 3: knew that I needed to do as a financial journalist.

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Speaker 3: But several years down the road, when my friends started

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Speaker 3: coming to me and asking me for advice on how

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Speaker 3: to talk to their parents and they started having you know,

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Speaker 3: some of their parents were having issues with their own

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Speaker 3: health or memory. I realized that by sharing my story,

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Speaker 3: my experience, my mistakes in a book, I help other

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Speaker 3: people do what I had to figure out on my own.

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Speaker 3: And so that's what prompted me to write the book.

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Speaker 1: Well, I think hearing that story about you being thirty

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Speaker 1: five and your mom being sixty five, like that's so

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Speaker 1: young and that's so hard, But it makes me realize,

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Speaker 1: like I'm a thirty five year old sitting right here,

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Speaker 1: and so these things can happen at any time. And

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Speaker 1: the longer we prolong these conversations with our parents about money,

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Speaker 1: just the more likely that we might have to wait

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Speaker 1: through something even more difficult with our parents. So I

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Speaker 1: want to ask you camera, what do you think is

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Speaker 1: keeping most of us from having those hard conversations with

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Speaker 1: our folks, and how do we move past the fears

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Speaker 1: that we have like to get the conversation started.

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Speaker 3: There are a variety of reasons why people don't have

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Speaker 3: these conversations with their parents. For a lot of people,

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Speaker 3: they just don't realize that they need to be having

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Speaker 3: the conversation. And that was my situation. It wasn't that

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Speaker 3: I was afraid to talk to my mom about money.

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Speaker 3: I just didn't realize how important it was to have

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Speaker 3: the conversation. Even though I was and still I am,

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Speaker 3: a financial journalists. It just didn't dawn on me that

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Speaker 3: this was something I needed to talk to her about.

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Speaker 3: So first of all, you might not realize it's important,

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Speaker 3: and I'm telling you right now that it is. Of course,

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Speaker 3: you might be afraid because you were brought up to

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Speaker 3: believe that you don't talk about money. My father told me,

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Speaker 3: you don't talk about money. It's impolite. And my father

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Speaker 3: was always very reluctant to talk about money. And he

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Speaker 3: died at the age of sixty one. I was twenty eight,

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Speaker 3: and he died without a will, and he was an attorney,

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Speaker 3: so he should have known better, you know. And if

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Speaker 3: I could go back, you know, I would have used

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Speaker 3: the opportunity to when I got married to say Dad,

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Speaker 3: I just got married. Do I need a will now?

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Speaker 3: And maybe that would have spurred him to write his

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Speaker 3: own will, you know. So your parents might have told

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Speaker 3: you you don't talk about money, and so you're afraid

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Speaker 3: to bring it up with them. You might be afraid

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Speaker 3: that your parents are thinking you're being nosy or greedy.

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Speaker 3: If I talk to them about their finances, they're going

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Speaker 3: to think I'm asking because I want to know what

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Speaker 3: I'm going to get when they die. I want to

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Speaker 3: make it very clear that these conversations need to be

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Speaker 3: about your parents' best interest. It's not about you. It's

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Speaker 3: not about what you hope to get. In fact, you

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Speaker 3: shouldn't even go into these conversations thinking that you're going

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Speaker 3: to get anything when your parents die. If they happen

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Speaker 3: to leave you money or property, then hey, that's just

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Speaker 3: icing on the cake. You know, you need to prepare

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Speaker 3: your own finances. You want to talk to them so

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Speaker 3: that you can first of all, figure out where they

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Speaker 3: stand financially, because it could impact your finances if they

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Speaker 3: are going to have to rely on you for support

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Speaker 3: because they haven't saved enough for retirement, or because they're

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Speaker 3: going to need you to provide long term care for

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Speaker 3: them because they don't have a way to pay for it.

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Speaker 3: This is something you need to know sooner rather than later,

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Speaker 3: so you can prepare your own finances. You want to

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Speaker 3: know whether they have essential legal documents a will, power

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Speaker 3: of attorney, living will, because if they don't and they

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Speaker 3: are no longer mentally competent enough to sign those documents,

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Speaker 3: it's too late and you could have to go through

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Speaker 3: court to get the legal right to access their finances.

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Speaker 3: And of course, if someone dies without a will, you

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Speaker 3: and your siblings could to end up in court battling

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Speaker 3: it out over who gets what, Letting them know that

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Speaker 3: you want to talk to them about their finances because

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Speaker 3: you want to be prepared in case of an emergency.

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Speaker 3: You want to have a plan all of you in

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Speaker 3: case they need long term care. Framing it in the

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Speaker 3: right way and letting them know, Mom and Dad, this

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Speaker 3: is about you. This is about making sure that I

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Speaker 3: know what your wishes are, that I make sure that

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Speaker 3: I can grant those wishes, that I know what sort

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Speaker 3: of care you want to make sure that you can

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Speaker 3: age comfortably. I want to have these conversations because you

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Speaker 3: took such good care of me, and if you ever

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Speaker 3: need me to help you, I want to be able

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Speaker 3: to do that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, obviously there's so much that goes into

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Speaker 2: it as far as the reasoning, the reason why behind

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Speaker 2: that we're having these conversations is so important to make

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Speaker 2: sure that we're framing it correctly, just like you said,

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Speaker 2: that we have the right tone and that we're presenting

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Speaker 2: it in just a healthy and proper way. And so, Cameron,

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Speaker 2: you just shared a bunch of reasons why we need

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Speaker 2: to be talking about this. We're going to take a

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Speaker 2: quick break, but after that we're going to dive into

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Speaker 2: just some of the specific topics that we should be

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Speaker 2: talking about as well as just how to go about

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Speaker 2: having those conversations.

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Speaker 1: All Right, we're back and we're talking with Cameron Huddleston

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Speaker 1: and the topic that we're covering today is having these

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Speaker 1: essential money conversations with your parents. So, Cameron, naturally a

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Speaker 1: lot of our minds probably go to one if our

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Speaker 1: parents don't have enough in retirement to last them, that

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Speaker 1: is a question. I think that's probably on the front

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Speaker 1: of our minds. But what are some additional topics that

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Speaker 1: might be easy to overlook that we should be discussing

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Speaker 1: with our parents.

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Speaker 3: A big one is long term care, because studies have

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Speaker 3: found that by the time if you have already reached

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Speaker 3: the age sixty five, there is a very good chance

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Speaker 3: that you're going to end up needing long term care

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Speaker 3: at some point in the rest of your life. It's

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Speaker 3: as much as like half of adults who reach age

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Speaker 3: sixty five, half or more are going to need long

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Speaker 3: term care. And what that is for anyone who's not

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Speaker 3: familiar with the term long term care is the care

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Speaker 3: that you would get. It can either be in your

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Speaker 3: home and assisted living facility a nursing facility care for

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Speaker 3: someone because you can no longer physically or mentally take

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Speaker 3: care of yourself, and it typically involves all activities of

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Speaker 3: daily living. It includes eating, bathing, dressing, everything, really, and

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Speaker 3: so many adults don't have any sort of plan for

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Speaker 3: long term care. They don't have long term care insurance

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Speaker 3: to pay for it. And people need to know. Medicare

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Speaker 3: does not pay for long term care, not the type

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Speaker 3: of care that you would get an assisted living facility

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Speaker 3: and a nursing home if it's actually long term care,

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Speaker 3: but not just you know, rehabilitation after a stroke, even

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Speaker 3: the care that you would get in home. Medicare does

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Speaker 3: not pay for that. Long term care insurance will obviously

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Speaker 3: if you have savings, it will pay for that. There

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Speaker 3: are a couple other different strategies. You can use. An annuity,

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Speaker 3: for example, a reverse mortgage can help pay for it.

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Speaker 3: Medicaid will pay for long term care, but you have

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Speaker 3: to have very few assets and very low income. So

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Speaker 3: it's really important to discuss with your parents. Hey, mom

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Speaker 3: and dad, you know I was just reading this article

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Speaker 3: about the real high cost of long term care. Did

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Speaker 3: you know that an assisted living facility or a home

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Speaker 3: health aid can cost four thousand dollars a month. And

437
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:51,159
Speaker 3: that's right now, you know, that's in you know, twenty

438
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,639
Speaker 3: nineteen dollars. You know, mom and Dad, you're only in

439
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,200
Speaker 3: your sixties now. By the time you're in your seventies

440
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:59,760
Speaker 3: or eighties, that cost could be a lot higher. I

441
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:03,040
Speaker 3: just want to know if you have any sort of

442
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:05,480
Speaker 3: plan for this. Have you thought about how you would

443
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:08,159
Speaker 3: pay for it? If you need this care? Have you

444
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:11,399
Speaker 3: thought about where you would want to receive care? And

445
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:13,720
Speaker 3: of course they're going to likely want it in their homes,

446
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:17,479
Speaker 3: because that's where most people want to receive care. Sometimes

447
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,119
Speaker 3: it's not possible. And if they say, well, you know,

448
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:23,040
Speaker 3: if something happens to me and I have dementia, or

449
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:25,440
Speaker 3: if I have a stroke and I'm in a wheelchair

450
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,800
Speaker 3: and I can't get around on my own, I need help,

451
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:30,119
Speaker 3: of course i'd like it in my home. Well, then

452
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:34,320
Speaker 3: the conversation turns to is the house that you're living

453
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:38,359
Speaker 3: in now set up to allow you to continue living

454
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 3: there if something were to happen to you. You have stairs,

455
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:42,879
Speaker 3: you have a two story house. How are you going

456
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,440
Speaker 3: to get to your bedroom? If you're in a wheelchair,

457
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:47,000
Speaker 3: how are you going to get in and out of

458
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:50,679
Speaker 3: the bathtub to bathe if you cannot move well on

459
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:54,360
Speaker 3: your own. So the long term care conversation is very important.

460
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 3: The housing conversation, do you want to stay in your house?

461
00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:00,359
Speaker 3: Can you stay in your house? You know, maybe it

462
00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 3: would be a good idea for you to downsize now.

463
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:04,879
Speaker 3: Then it'll free up extra money for retirement and you

464
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:07,399
Speaker 3: can do fun things like travel. You don't have to

465
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 3: put a negative spin on it. Certainly, the long term

466
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 3: care it's kind of hard to get around the fact

467
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:16,320
Speaker 3: that it's It is indeed a depressing topic no one.

468
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 3: No one wants to think about the fact that they

469
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,320
Speaker 3: might have to rely on someone else for support. But

470
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,920
Speaker 3: the house and conversation doesn't necessarily have to be as

471
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:27,640
Speaker 3: difficult talking to your parents about the benefits as opposed

472
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 3: to oh my gosh, Mom and dad, you really need

473
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 3: to move out of this giant house because I know

474
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 3: you can't afford the upkeep, and I know I don't

475
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,160
Speaker 3: want you calling me every day to mow your grass.

476
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,719
Speaker 3: And you know you don't want to make it negative.

477
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,639
Speaker 3: You want to focus on the positive aspects.

478
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so you mentioned like the potential of doing

479
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:47,359
Speaker 1: something like a reverse mortgage to fund long term care

480
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,640
Speaker 1: that's needed. You know, reverse mortgages of course fraught with

481
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,680
Speaker 1: fees and potential pitfalls as well. But on the other side,

482
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,840
Speaker 1: long term care insurance is so expensive and the costs

483
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 1: have risen so much in the las few years, so

484
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:04,159
Speaker 1: that's been a pitfall for folks too. What kind of

485
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:07,160
Speaker 1: cost are we talking about if mom and dad don't

486
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,560
Speaker 1: have a long term care insurance policy, and is that

487
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:13,359
Speaker 1: something that they should be considering even as the costs

488
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:14,399
Speaker 1: have risen so greatly.

489
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 3: It's certainly something you should encourage your parents to look into.

490
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:23,160
Speaker 3: If your parents are still in their fifties, they are

491
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:26,480
Speaker 3: going to get a much better rate on long term

492
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,680
Speaker 3: care insurance than if they wait until their sixties. And

493
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,879
Speaker 3: certainly if they wait until their seventies, there's a good

494
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,760
Speaker 3: chance they can't even get it. They won't even qualify,

495
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:36,960
Speaker 3: they might have too many other health issues. If you

496
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,560
Speaker 3: are in good health, if you are in your fifties,

497
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:43,359
Speaker 3: it's going to cost you, and it is expensive, but

498
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:47,840
Speaker 3: it can cost you around two to three hundred dollars

499
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,159
Speaker 3: a month, and this could be for a couple with

500
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:52,760
Speaker 3: a shared benefit. My husband and I actually went through

501
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 3: the process recently of getting some quotes for long term

502
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:57,680
Speaker 3: care insurance, and we've decided we're going to wait a

503
00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 3: few more years before we sign up, because as it

504
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:02,600
Speaker 3: is expensive, there are a variety of ways to keep

505
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,040
Speaker 3: the cost down. But you could encourage your parents to

506
00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:08,639
Speaker 3: look into it and see if they could afford it,

507
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:10,680
Speaker 3: and they might say, oh, my gosh, three hundred dollars

508
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 3: a month, there's no way, but it's worth pointing out,

509
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:17,200
Speaker 3: if you can't afford three hundred dollars a month for

510
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 3: long term care insurance, how are you going to be

511
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 3: able to afford four thousand dollars a month five thousand

512
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:27,239
Speaker 3: dollars a month for the actual long term care. If

513
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 3: they're great with their retirement savings, or they have a

514
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 3: pension and they have a guaranteed source of income and

515
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 3: they've done a great job of planning for their retirement,

516
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 3: then there might be the funds there to pay for

517
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:43,120
Speaker 3: it out of pocket. If they own their house outright,

518
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:46,520
Speaker 3: and perhaps and this would certainly be harder if they're

519
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 3: two parents, because you don't want to sell the house

520
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:51,240
Speaker 3: and leave one parent without a place to live. But

521
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:53,879
Speaker 3: this is something I did with my mother because she

522
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:57,199
Speaker 3: and my father were divorced and she was living on

523
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:59,679
Speaker 3: her own, and she did not have long term care

524
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:03,360
Speaker 3: insurance parance, so I basically had to have a very

525
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 3: strategic plan for paying for her long term care. And

526
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 3: one of the first things I did is when it

527
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:10,920
Speaker 3: became obvious she could no longer live in her house,

528
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:13,760
Speaker 3: she moved in with me for a while. We sold

529
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:16,679
Speaker 3: the house and that was a source of money for

530
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 3: the long term care. There are some ways to pay

531
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:21,920
Speaker 3: for it. There are some ways to keep the cost down,

532
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 3: like moving your parent in with you, taking advantage of

533
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:28,440
Speaker 3: programs such as like adult day care services that will

534
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 3: keep Basically it's what the name suggests. I mean, it's

535
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:36,840
Speaker 3: daycare for adults, but it's only during the day. And

536
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:40,120
Speaker 3: if you've got a parent who has serious dementia or

537
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:44,880
Speaker 3: serious issues with mobility, they're going to need more extensive,

538
00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:48,639
Speaker 3: round the clock care, and that certainly can get a

539
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 3: lot more expensive. And unfortunately, most people's long term care

540
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 3: plan is a family member. It's a spouse, it's a child,

541
00:27:57,080 --> 00:28:00,159
Speaker 3: some other relative who has to provide that care, and

542
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,440
Speaker 3: that providing that care can be a full time job.

543
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:06,120
Speaker 2: So, Cameron, you mentioned like your parents were divorced and

544
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:08,000
Speaker 2: that your mom, you know, you had to kind of

545
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,119
Speaker 2: look after her, like, how does that actually change the

546
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:12,960
Speaker 2: conversation when your parents are separated like that? Do you

547
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 2: cover different topics because of that? Or is the timing difference?

548
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 2: How does that come into play.

549
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:20,520
Speaker 3: I don't think the timing is different at all. In fact,

550
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 3: if your parents do get divorced and you haven't had

551
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:30,440
Speaker 3: this conversation already, it's an opportune moment to have the conversation,

552
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:33,040
Speaker 3: you know, reaching out to mom or dad and saying

553
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 3: you know, I know this divorce has been very difficult

554
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 3: for you, but I really would love to sit down

555
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:44,000
Speaker 3: when you have a moment to talk about what things

556
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 3: are going to be like going forward, what sort of

557
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 3: plans you have now that you are alone, and how

558
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 3: I might have to play a role as you age

559
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 3: because there's no longer dad there or there's no longer mom,

560
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 3: you know, your spouse to help you out. I want

561
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 3: to know if you ever need me to help you,

562
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 3: what I need to know about your finances so that

563
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:10,880
Speaker 3: I can help you. It's life events are a great

564
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 3: opportunity to start these conversations, and certainly it is so

565
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:18,800
Speaker 3: imperative to have these conversations if your parents do get divorced,

566
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:22,360
Speaker 3: because there's a greater chance that the parent will rely

567
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 3: on the child for help as a age because they

568
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 3: no longer have the support from a spouse.

569
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:30,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was going to say, there's almost more pressure

570
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:35,040
Speaker 1: on kids with divorced parents because you're dealing with each

571
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:38,120
Speaker 1: parent individually. And I could see them relying on you

572
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,800
Speaker 1: a lot more because they don't have right their better

573
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,960
Speaker 1: half to relate to when it comes to saving for

574
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:48,240
Speaker 1: their future, thinking about long term care, thinking about their retirement.

575
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 1: So I got to imagine that those conversations become a

576
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:54,120
Speaker 1: little more difficult. I wanted to ask you, too, camera,

577
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 1: what about involving siblings in the conversation. Let's say you

578
00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:59,959
Speaker 1: have multiple siblings, or at least just one of their siblings.

579
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:04,600
Speaker 1: How do you involve your siblings in these conversations with

580
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 1: your parents about money and then, like, also, how do

581
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 1: you prevent arguments amongst each other during the process, because man,

582
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 1: we've all heard stories about siblings just getting caught up

583
00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:20,440
Speaker 1: in minutia and then arguing just intensely during that process.

584
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:24,320
Speaker 3: I think it's really important if you have siblings to

585
00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:28,320
Speaker 3: talk to them before you even have these financial conversations

586
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 3: with your parents. And I say this for several reasons.

587
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:35,760
Speaker 3: First of all, if you go to your parents and

588
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,560
Speaker 3: have the conversation with them about their finances and don't

589
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 3: even tell your siblings that you're going to be doing it,

590
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:44,120
Speaker 3: and then they get when that you've had the conversation,

591
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:47,120
Speaker 3: they might be angry. They might be resentful. You know,

592
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,880
Speaker 3: why did you do this without telling me? Are you

593
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:52,560
Speaker 3: trying to, like, you know, work your way in on

594
00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 3: mom and Dad's good side so you get all the

595
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:58,280
Speaker 3: money when they die. I mean, who knows you're trying

596
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 3: to be? I get it, I get it. You're the

597
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 3: oldest you want to step in and take charge and

598
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:06,000
Speaker 3: make sure you get everything. It could create resentment, It

599
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 3: could create anger, and it could cause a split among

600
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:12,719
Speaker 3: the siblings. Aside from avoiding any sort of resentment, you

601
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 3: want to get on the same page with your siblings.

602
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:19,480
Speaker 3: You want to discuss together the best time to have

603
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:21,920
Speaker 3: the conversation with mom and dad, the best way to

604
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,440
Speaker 3: approach it, whether you want to do it together. And

605
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:27,360
Speaker 3: maybe you're not the right person to be having the conversation.

606
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 3: Maybe mom and dad get along a little better with

607
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 3: your older brother or sister or your younger brother or sister,

608
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 3: and maybe it's the other sibling who should be initiating

609
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 3: the conversation. Talking to your siblings allows you to figure

610
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 3: out how you should best approach your parents, and it

611
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:51,560
Speaker 3: also allows you to agree on what roles you're willing

612
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:56,000
Speaker 3: to play in your parents' lives as they age. You

613
00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 3: might say, I live closest to mom and dad, so

614
00:31:58,320 --> 00:31:59,720
Speaker 3: I'm going to be the one to step up and

615
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 3: drive them to doctor's appointments and help them out if

616
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,640
Speaker 3: they need it. And you know your brother, your sister

617
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 3: who's better with money, maybe they're gonna be the one

618
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 3: who says, Okay, I volunteer to be power of attorney.

619
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 3: You know, if mom and Dad want to name me

620
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:15,000
Speaker 3: power of attorney, I volunteer to be the executor for

621
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:18,280
Speaker 3: their will because I feel more comfortable with the financial

622
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:21,600
Speaker 3: side of things. And maybe you've got another sibling who's

623
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 3: more comfortable, you know, stepping into the role of healthcare proxy,

624
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 3: the person who will make medical decisions for mom and

625
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:33,440
Speaker 3: dad if they are no longer able to so. Kind

626
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:36,760
Speaker 3: of hashing out these roles beforehand, so that when you

627
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 3: go to your parents you can say, you know, we've

628
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:42,560
Speaker 3: been talking. You know, we love you mom and dad.

629
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,080
Speaker 3: You took such good care of us. We want to

630
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:47,480
Speaker 3: return the favor. You know, we all have kind of

631
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:50,720
Speaker 3: figured out what we can do, what we're willing to do.

632
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 3: Of course, we want to respect what you want, but

633
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:56,720
Speaker 3: we want you to know that we've had these conversations

634
00:32:56,760 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 3: and we want to be able to help, and we're

635
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:02,240
Speaker 3: in this together. And you know that that can make

636
00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:05,280
Speaker 3: it easier for parents to feel comfortable talking to their

637
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:09,080
Speaker 3: kids if they know their kids are united and not divided,

638
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:12,120
Speaker 3: because you know, the last thing parents want to do

639
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 3: is see their kids fight. Now, like you said, in

640
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:18,680
Speaker 3: some families they are there is going there will be fights,

641
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:22,000
Speaker 3: like you, no matter how hard you try, you know

642
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:24,800
Speaker 3: your siblings might not want to do it your way,

643
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 3: and it shouldn't be just about doing it your way, honestly,

644
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 3: it should be we're having this conversation so we can

645
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:33,920
Speaker 3: figure out what's best for mom and dad. And agreeing

646
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:36,320
Speaker 3: when you sit down that this is all about what's

647
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 3: best for mom and dad might help limit the arguments

648
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:44,600
Speaker 3: and allowing everyone to have a say, and if you're

649
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:47,000
Speaker 3: the one who's calling the meeting with your siblings, you

650
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:49,240
Speaker 3: go last and let everyone have a chance to talk

651
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:53,640
Speaker 3: and not pass any judgment. And then everyone has their say,

652
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:56,040
Speaker 3: and at the end you speak, and then you try

653
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 3: to find some common ground, try to get on the

654
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:01,080
Speaker 3: same page with them, try to come to some agreement

655
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:02,520
Speaker 3: before talking to them.

656
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, it makes sense that you should include them on

657
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 1: the front end, but I love that strategy to get

658
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:11,320
Speaker 1: together before you end up having that conversation with your parents.

659
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 1: So we're going to take a break real quick, and

660
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 1: then we've got a few more things that we want

661
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,840
Speaker 1: to ask you, Cameron, And specifically we are going to

662
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,640
Speaker 1: talk about how to organize some of the information as

663
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:22,799
Speaker 1: these conversations occur, and we're going to get to that

664
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:27,200
Speaker 1: right after the break.

665
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:35,440
Speaker 2: All right, we are back in the break, and Cameron,

666
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:37,759
Speaker 2: I wanted to ask you because most folks they would

667
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:41,880
Speaker 2: rather talk about like sex or politics, literally anything else

668
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:45,279
Speaker 2: than have these money conversations, oftentimes with their parents. And

669
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 2: then sometimes it's too late because they're putting it off. Right,

670
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:50,279
Speaker 2: when do you feel that folks should start having the

671
00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:52,000
Speaker 2: conversations with their parents.

672
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:57,480
Speaker 3: Ideally these conversations should happen when your parents are relatively young,

673
00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:01,480
Speaker 3: and by that I mean you know, in their fifties

674
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:06,359
Speaker 3: would be perfect, when they're healthy, ideally before they've even retired.

675
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:09,640
Speaker 3: Now that means you know, you're probably in your twenties

676
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:14,400
Speaker 3: when you're having this conversation, and you're probably in your twenties, like, oh,

677
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:17,399
Speaker 3: my gosh, I don't even have my own financial act together.

678
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:18,960
Speaker 3: How am I supposed to go talk to my parents

679
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 3: about their finances.

680
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:24,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, you might not even have like started investing in

681
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:26,880
Speaker 1: a four one cave or anything like that. You probably

682
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:28,840
Speaker 1: don't even know what you're doing in your early mid twenties.

683
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:31,920
Speaker 3: But it's a perfect opportunity for you to have this

684
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:35,319
Speaker 3: conversation in a very natural way because you go to

685
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:39,279
Speaker 3: your parents asking for advice. Mom and Dad, I just

686
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,960
Speaker 3: started a new job. They are giving me a chance

687
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:45,320
Speaker 3: to set aside some of my paycheck for retirement. Should

688
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 3: I do it? And then your parents' response is going

689
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 3: to give you a clue as to what they've done.

690
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:53,360
Speaker 3: They might say, well, you know, I have a pension

691
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:55,919
Speaker 3: and I didn't have to worry about that, or yes,

692
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:59,319
Speaker 3: do it. I wish I had started saving sooner, or

693
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:01,880
Speaker 3: I don't know. I really I have a retirement account

694
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:04,439
Speaker 3: of work and I really don't even understand it. Their

695
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 3: response is going to give you some insight into what

696
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,920
Speaker 3: they've done with their own retirement planning. Or maybe you say, hey,

697
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 3: I just got married. Do I need a will? Do

698
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:16,640
Speaker 3: I need life insurance? And your parents might say yes,

699
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:19,839
Speaker 3: do it now, or they might say, gosh, you know,

700
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 3: I've been meaning to write a will forever, and that

701
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:26,400
Speaker 3: life insurance policy, I don't know it was a term policy.

702
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:28,319
Speaker 3: I don't even know if it's still in effect. So

703
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:30,880
Speaker 3: their answers are going to give you a clue to

704
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 3: what they've done. And when you're young, it makes sense

705
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:38,200
Speaker 3: to be asking them for advice when you're in your

706
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:42,040
Speaker 3: positioning that right right by the time by the time

707
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:44,719
Speaker 3: you're my age and you're in your forties, it would

708
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 3: be a little bit awkward to go to your parents

709
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:50,319
Speaker 3: and ask for advice because they might think, you know, oh,

710
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:53,960
Speaker 3: you should have this figured out by now. You're you're

711
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:55,880
Speaker 3: a grown up, you have your own kids. Why are

712
00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:57,200
Speaker 3: you asking me for advice?

713
00:36:57,560 --> 00:36:59,320
Speaker 1: Your husband has a doctorate in economics.

714
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 2: This figured out came exactly, don't you know? This.

715
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, because when you're young, you have a really good

716
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 3: opportunity to have these conversations without it seeming so awkward. Obviously,

717
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:15,840
Speaker 3: not all your listeners are in their twenties. That ship

718
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:19,600
Speaker 3: is sailed. But the thing is, don't wait. Don't wait

719
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 3: for your parents to start having health issues, don't wait

720
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:27,160
Speaker 3: for them to start showing signs that they might be

721
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:32,000
Speaker 3: having trouble getting by in retirement. The sooner you can

722
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 3: have these conversations, the better. And you know this personally, Joel,

723
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:40,440
Speaker 3: because sometimes it can take a while, we're talking years

724
00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 3: to get your parents comfortable enough talking about what can

725
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:50,840
Speaker 3: be a very sensitive topic. And if you wait until they're,

726
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 3: you know, in their late sixties, early seventies, and they're

727
00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:57,680
Speaker 3: reluctant to talk, by the time they finally might come around,

728
00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:00,480
Speaker 3: it might be because an emergency is for seeing them

729
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:02,920
Speaker 3: to talk to you, and you don't have things in

730
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:07,440
Speaker 3: place for you to actually legally get involve with their finances,

731
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:12,280
Speaker 3: legally make healthcare decisions for them. So don't wait. Commit

732
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:15,760
Speaker 3: yourself to having these conversations as soon as possible.

733
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:18,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, you referenced kind of my situation with my parents,

734
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:21,279
Speaker 1: and for sure, I got to say I'm willing to

735
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:23,759
Speaker 1: fall on the sword in large part on this too, I,

736
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 1: especially in my twenties, was a little more abrasive, and

737
00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:30,319
Speaker 1: I thought I knew more than I did probably and

738
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 1: didn't always approach the situation with care, with kind of

739
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:37,120
Speaker 1: that tenderness that I needed to, And so I think

740
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:40,000
Speaker 1: my parents probably felt a little. I don't know if

741
00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:42,319
Speaker 1: threatens the right word or what it was, but you know,

742
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:45,840
Speaker 1: like I mentioned to you too, Cameron in the book,

743
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:48,359
Speaker 1: like my parents and I are incredibly close, with this

744
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:51,600
Speaker 1: great relationship that's been built, you know, over over thirty

745
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:54,600
Speaker 1: five years that I've been alive, and so I certainly

746
00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 1: don't want to make it sound like it's been all

747
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:59,640
Speaker 1: difficulty my parents. We have this fantastic relationship. It's just

748
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:02,759
Speaker 1: that this area of money is so sensitive, and I

749
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:05,480
Speaker 1: didn't always approach it really well. So I want to

750
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 1: ask you, Let's say you are in your twenties and

751
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:10,440
Speaker 1: you're like me, and you're bad at beginning the competition.

752
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 1: Does it ever, does it ever help to have like

753
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:16,520
Speaker 1: a third party to come in and to help you

754
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:17,480
Speaker 1: start that conversation.

755
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 3: It certainly can help, especially if you have parents who

756
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 3: are reluctant to talk about money. You might ask a

757
00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:29,960
Speaker 3: family friend whom you know has had conversations with their children,

758
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:33,640
Speaker 3: or who has been really good about planning for their retirement,

759
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:36,000
Speaker 3: or they have all the estate documents that they need,

760
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:39,879
Speaker 3: getting them to mention something to your parents. You know, hey,

761
00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:43,040
Speaker 3: I talked to my kids. It's really great. You know,

762
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:44,960
Speaker 3: we're all on the same page. Now we have a

763
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:48,439
Speaker 3: plan for dealing with emergencies. You know, they know who

764
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 3: the power of attorney is, they know who the executor

765
00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:54,040
Speaker 3: or the will is. Getting a family friend, a relative

766
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:58,920
Speaker 3: if your parents are already working with an attorney or

767
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:03,799
Speaker 3: an accountant or a financial professional, reaching out to that professional.

768
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:08,600
Speaker 3: Of course, they cannot divulge any information about your parents'

769
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:13,120
Speaker 3: finances or legal situation to you, but you can ask

770
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:17,680
Speaker 3: them that they suggest to your parents that they share

771
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:22,200
Speaker 3: information with you, because you know, as their children, these

772
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:24,080
Speaker 3: are things that you need to know. You might have

773
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:27,640
Speaker 3: a clergy member, you know, your rabbi or the minister

774
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:30,600
Speaker 3: at your church, reaching out to that person and saying,

775
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:32,479
Speaker 3: you know, please, I would love it if you could

776
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:34,880
Speaker 3: talk to my mom and dad about how important it

777
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 3: would be to talk to me and my siblings about

778
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:41,640
Speaker 3: their finances. Getting that third party involved can be very

779
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 3: helpful because oftentimes your parents are going to take the

780
00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:49,520
Speaker 3: advice of a peer more so than they're going to

781
00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:51,400
Speaker 3: listen to their kids, because they still think of you

782
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:54,759
Speaker 3: as kids and that kid maybe who you know, broke

783
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:57,720
Speaker 3: the rules and stayed out too late and didn't listen

784
00:40:57,760 --> 00:40:59,719
Speaker 3: to them, And even though you're thirty five years old

785
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:04,280
Speaker 3: now unsuccessful, you're still their kid, and they don't want

786
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,960
Speaker 3: to listen to advice from you. It's much easier for

787
00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 3: it to come from someone their own age.

788
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:13,360
Speaker 1: Sounds like you just described Matt with all their.

789
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 2: Almost honestly, I was thinking about just me taking advice

790
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 2: from my kids. I'm like, I'm not ready to take

791
00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:22,360
Speaker 2: advice for my two year old Justine.

792
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:24,680
Speaker 3: But you think about your spouse too, Okay, You think

793
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:26,680
Speaker 3: about this, like, how many times have you been in

794
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:29,520
Speaker 3: a situation where you've told your spouse, hey, honey, you

795
00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 3: should do this, Hey honey, you should do this, and

796
00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:33,799
Speaker 3: then the friend comes over and suggest it, and then

797
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:35,799
Speaker 3: your spouse is like, do you know what someone so

798
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:37,560
Speaker 3: just said to me? I think we should do that,

799
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:39,719
Speaker 3: And you're like, I've been telling you that for like

800
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:43,799
Speaker 3: the past month. And it applies to your parents too.

801
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:45,880
Speaker 3: You know, you could say, mom and dad, let's have

802
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,880
Speaker 3: this conversation, let's talk. Can we talk about do you

803
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:51,000
Speaker 3: have a will? Whatever? And they're like, I don't want

804
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:52,839
Speaker 3: to talk about this. We're gonna talk about it later.

805
00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:54,839
Speaker 3: I don't want to talk about it. And then their

806
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:57,160
Speaker 3: best friend says it and they're like, oh my gosh,

807
00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:59,480
Speaker 3: Martha was just telling me about how she you know,

808
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:02,680
Speaker 3: recently updated her will and all her estate documents and

809
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:04,520
Speaker 3: tell the kids where they are. I think we need

810
00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:07,520
Speaker 3: to sit down and do this. So getting someone in

811
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:12,000
Speaker 3: else else involved might light that fire under your parents.

812
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:15,120
Speaker 2: There's a cameron. As we have these conversations with our parents,

813
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:18,520
Speaker 2: how would you recommend we go about organizing that information

814
00:42:18,719 --> 00:42:22,080
Speaker 2: and what should we include in these documents or files

815
00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 2: or however it is that we kind of gather all

816
00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:25,360
Speaker 2: the stuff together.

817
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,800
Speaker 3: Ideally, the more information you can get from your parents,

818
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:32,200
Speaker 3: the better. And if they are willing to sit down

819
00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:35,480
Speaker 3: and have conversations with you, you want to take notes.

820
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:39,520
Speaker 3: That doesn't mean you need to bring your computer along

821
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:42,319
Speaker 3: and you know, fire up the Excel spreadsheet, because that's

822
00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:44,520
Speaker 3: that can be more intimidating. It makes it look like

823
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:48,520
Speaker 3: it's a it's a business meeting, not a conversation where

824
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:51,440
Speaker 3: your parents can relact. And these and these conversations they

825
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:56,279
Speaker 3: should be relaxed because they can be awkward. But you know,

826
00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 3: let your parents know that you want to sit down

827
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:01,840
Speaker 3: and have the conversations. And is it okay if I

828
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:03,839
Speaker 3: take some notes because I don't want to forget this,

829
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 3: mom and dad, and it's so important and I want

830
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:08,200
Speaker 3: to make sure I get it right. And so you know,

831
00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:10,239
Speaker 3: if we're either going to say sure, or you could

832
00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:13,400
Speaker 3: just simply say, you know, mom and dad, I recognize

833
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:14,880
Speaker 3: that this might be a little bit awkward and you

834
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:18,319
Speaker 3: might feel a little uncomfortable telling me these details about

835
00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:22,400
Speaker 3: your finances. How about we do this instead. How about

836
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:26,120
Speaker 3: you write down the details of your finances for me.

837
00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:28,960
Speaker 3: You make a list of the accounts you have. You

838
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 3: make a list of the insurance policies you have, You

839
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:33,880
Speaker 3: make a list of the assets you have. Anything that

840
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:36,600
Speaker 3: you can think of, put it on the list. And

841
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 3: then more detail you can provide me the better with

842
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:42,759
Speaker 3: user names and passwords for online accounts, account numbers, the

843
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:44,799
Speaker 3: name of the bank where you bank, the types of

844
00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 3: accounts that you have at your bank, the location of

845
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:50,960
Speaker 3: the key to the house where the will is. You

846
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:53,080
Speaker 3: know who's your power of attorney, the name of your

847
00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:57,000
Speaker 3: actual attorney or your accountant. The more information you can

848
00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 3: put on this list for me, mom and Dad, the better,

849
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:02,880
Speaker 3: And then you put it someplace safe and tell me

850
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:06,239
Speaker 3: where it is in case I need to access it,

851
00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:10,120
Speaker 3: and we can even agree on the instances when I

852
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:14,239
Speaker 3: would be allowed to access this information. And this gives

853
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:17,320
Speaker 3: your parents control because a lot of times they're reluctant

854
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:20,080
Speaker 3: to have these conversations because they're feeling they're giving up

855
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:23,640
Speaker 3: control to you, and so you're letting them. I'm giving

856
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:27,080
Speaker 3: you control. You have the list, you have all this information,

857
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:28,799
Speaker 3: You tell me where to find it, and you tell

858
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:32,520
Speaker 3: me at what point I can access it, at what

859
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:35,320
Speaker 3: point you might need help and you might need my help,

860
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:38,319
Speaker 3: And so you're letting them maintain that control. But I

861
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:41,280
Speaker 3: do have on my website on Cameron Huddleston dot com

862
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:44,880
Speaker 3: a fill in the blank financial inventory that's free, and

863
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:47,080
Speaker 3: you can download it and give it to your parents

864
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:49,319
Speaker 3: and ask them to fill it out and store it

865
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:51,200
Speaker 3: someplace safe to make it easy.

866
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great. We'll totally include a link to that

867
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:56,000
Speaker 1: in the show notes by the way as well.

868
00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:58,160
Speaker 2: So I mean as far as these documents, right, like,

869
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:00,879
Speaker 2: how often, like you mentioned this earlier, think, but how

870
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:04,279
Speaker 2: often should you go back and update those Is this

871
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:07,400
Speaker 2: something that you should sort of revisit every six months

872
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,720
Speaker 2: every year, or you know, maybe like once every five years,

873
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 2: just to make sure that nothing major has changed. I'm

874
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:14,359
Speaker 2: curious about that.

875
00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:18,399
Speaker 3: I would certainly recommend you know that, if your parents are,

876
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 3: you know, open to these conversations and they're open to

877
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:24,479
Speaker 3: giving you this information, set a reminder for yourself once

878
00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:26,840
Speaker 3: a year to check in. Hey, mom and dad, I

879
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:29,040
Speaker 3: just you know, I just went through and updated my

880
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 3: list of accounts, and I just want to check in

881
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:34,080
Speaker 3: to make sure there haven't been any changes. Maybe you've

882
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 3: changed some passwords or user names, maybe you've gotten rid

883
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:40,279
Speaker 3: of an account that you no longer are using. Just

884
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:42,839
Speaker 3: update your list. If you've got your list, or if

885
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:45,160
Speaker 3: you've given it to me, anything that I need to

886
00:45:45,200 --> 00:45:47,440
Speaker 3: know about, just so that we're on top of everything,

887
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:49,920
Speaker 3: you know, set yourself a reminder and then talk to

888
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:52,440
Speaker 3: them about it. I actually have some friends whose parents

889
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:58,680
Speaker 3: give them an updated Excel spreadsheet every six months. They're

890
00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:01,160
Speaker 3: that on top of it, those those are the lucky few.

891
00:46:01,239 --> 00:46:01,880
Speaker 2: You know, sounds like.

892
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,960
Speaker 3: You know, those are the those are the lucky few.

893
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:08,440
Speaker 3: But you know, not all parents are gonna do that,

894
00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:11,439
Speaker 3: But you might be surprised, you know, your parents might

895
00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:13,799
Speaker 3: be much more willing to give you this information than

896
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:15,560
Speaker 3: you think, and you're making it out to be a

897
00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:19,080
Speaker 3: bigger the deal than it really is. But certainly setting

898
00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:24,440
Speaker 3: a reminder to remind your parents to update any list

899
00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:26,799
Speaker 3: of accounts that they have or to update you on

900
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:30,880
Speaker 3: any major changes, certainly would be a good idea. Just

901
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:32,680
Speaker 3: we haven't talked a whole lot about this, but I

902
00:46:32,719 --> 00:46:35,640
Speaker 3: really want to highlight the importance of those legal documents.

903
00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:39,600
Speaker 3: Like if the only thing that you can find out

904
00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:43,479
Speaker 3: from your parents is whether they have a will, power

905
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:45,759
Speaker 3: of attorney and a living will, which is also called

906
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:48,960
Speaker 3: an advanced healthcare directive, if that's the only information you

907
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:52,839
Speaker 3: could pull out of them, that's great because those documents

908
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:56,719
Speaker 3: are so important, you know, and it sounds like it's

909
00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:58,640
Speaker 3: something only rich people do when you talk about the

910
00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:03,160
Speaker 3: state planning documents, but these are documents everyone should have.

911
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:05,160
Speaker 3: You need a will to spell out who gets what,

912
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:08,360
Speaker 3: even if you don't have a lot, because your state

913
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:10,239
Speaker 3: has a will for you if you don't have your own,

914
00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:12,359
Speaker 3: and the state law is going to decide who gets what,

915
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:15,320
Speaker 3: and it might not be the person your parents want

916
00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:18,399
Speaker 3: to get the house or the car or whatever they

917
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:21,680
Speaker 3: leave behind. The power of attorney is a legal document

918
00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:24,759
Speaker 3: that lets you name someone to make financial decisions for

919
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:27,640
Speaker 3: you if you no longer can. So your parents need

920
00:47:27,680 --> 00:47:30,400
Speaker 3: to name a power of attorney. And again this feels

921
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:32,600
Speaker 3: like they're giving up power by doing this, but you

922
00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:35,719
Speaker 3: want to remind them, Mom and dad, wouldn't you rather

923
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:38,840
Speaker 3: pick the person who's going to make these very important

924
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:40,839
Speaker 3: decisions for you if you no longer can, than to

925
00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:44,359
Speaker 3: have a judge decide who's going to do it. Then

926
00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:46,640
Speaker 3: have someone step up and say, hey, I want to

927
00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:48,359
Speaker 3: be the one who's in charge, and they go through

928
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:51,480
Speaker 3: the legal process to do it. And then finally, the

929
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:55,319
Speaker 3: Living Will Advance Healthcare Directive lets you spell out your

930
00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:58,239
Speaker 3: end of life medical treatment that you do or do

931
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 3: not want, and lets you name someone one to make

932
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:04,600
Speaker 3: medical decisions for you. All of these documents have to

933
00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:08,040
Speaker 3: be signed while you are still mentally competent, so it's

934
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:11,359
Speaker 3: so important to have them. Ideally, you want to meet

935
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 3: with an attorney to draft them. If that doesn't fit

936
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 3: within your parents' budget, there are lower cost versions online

937
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:21,920
Speaker 3: as sites such as Nolo dot Com, Legal Zoom, Rocket Lawyer.

938
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:25,120
Speaker 3: You know, but you could offer if you are in

939
00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:27,640
Speaker 3: a financial position where you can afford it. You might

940
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:29,120
Speaker 3: even suggest that you want to give it to your

941
00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:32,160
Speaker 3: parents as a gift. You know, I did my will

942
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:34,279
Speaker 3: and my power of attorney and all my other estate

943
00:48:34,320 --> 00:48:36,680
Speaker 3: planning documents. Mom and Dad. I'm so glad I've done this.

944
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:38,760
Speaker 3: I'd love to give it to you as a Christmas

945
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:40,160
Speaker 3: gift this year. I'd love to give it to you

946
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:43,120
Speaker 3: as a mother's seak gift, a father's sdeake gift. Offer

947
00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:44,200
Speaker 3: it to them.

948
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:46,319
Speaker 1: That's a great idea, Cameron. I just want to say,

949
00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:48,319
Speaker 1: if anybody's thinking about getting me a will for my

950
00:48:48,360 --> 00:48:51,319
Speaker 1: birthday or Christmas, don't do it, because that's not what

951
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:55,759
Speaker 1: I want. Okay. And we did talk about wills actually

952
00:48:55,800 --> 00:48:58,480
Speaker 1: back in episode forty two, So if folks want to know,

953
00:48:58,719 --> 00:49:01,240
Speaker 1: even for themselves, if you're in your twenties or thirties

954
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:04,440
Speaker 1: and you've started a young family, the importance of wills

955
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:07,399
Speaker 1: for your own self and your own family are that's

956
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 1: a very important step to take, so you can check

957
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:11,160
Speaker 1: that out and we'll link to that in the show notes.

958
00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:13,440
Speaker 1: We have one more question for you, Kim, and by

959
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:15,719
Speaker 1: the way, Cameron, thank you so much for going over

960
00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:20,000
Speaker 1: those specific necessities, those legal needs. That really helps give

961
00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:23,440
Speaker 1: people a place to start on the right foot. But

962
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:26,799
Speaker 1: on that note, what one piece of advice do you

963
00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:29,040
Speaker 1: have for people to kind of get the ball rolling

964
00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:32,600
Speaker 1: in this direction If they've gotten information overload from this

965
00:49:32,680 --> 00:49:35,920
Speaker 1: conversation and they're like, where do I begin? Where do

966
00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:36,400
Speaker 1: they begin?

967
00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:41,400
Speaker 3: I know it is a lot of information. First, begin

968
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 3: by telling yourself that as scary as these conversations might seem,

969
00:49:47,200 --> 00:49:49,719
Speaker 3: they're probably not going to be nearly as awkward as

970
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:52,200
Speaker 3: you think they will be. You're probably building it up

971
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:54,279
Speaker 3: in your head to be something terrible. Your parents are

972
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 3: going to get mad. That is probably not going to happen,

973
00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:59,200
Speaker 3: especially if you have a good relationship with your parents.

974
00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:02,480
Speaker 3: First thing, get over the fear that you might have,

975
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:05,400
Speaker 3: because I can tell you that as scary as the

976
00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:10,279
Speaker 3: conversations might seem, the consequences of not having them can

977
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:13,839
Speaker 3: be a whole lot worse and a whole lot more

978
00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:16,760
Speaker 3: expensive for you. If you end up in court because

979
00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:19,440
Speaker 3: your parents didn't name a power attorney and you have

980
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:22,279
Speaker 3: to go through the legal process of becoming their conservator.

981
00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:26,279
Speaker 3: Get past your fears of having the conversation because it

982
00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:30,080
Speaker 3: is so important that you have it, and then figure

983
00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:32,800
Speaker 3: out what approach you want to take, whether it's using

984
00:50:32,840 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 3: a story about me, for example, whose mother developed Alzheimer's

985
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 3: at sixty five and I had to get involved with

986
00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:41,319
Speaker 3: their finances, and say, I listen to a podcast about

987
00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:43,800
Speaker 3: a woman who had to get involved with her mom's

988
00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 3: finances and she hadn't had conversations Mom and dad, let's

989
00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:50,839
Speaker 3: talk so this doesn't happen to us, or asking your

990
00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:54,120
Speaker 3: parents for advice, or you know, just simply telling them,

991
00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:57,200
Speaker 3: Mom and dad, I really want to have conversations with

992
00:50:57,239 --> 00:51:00,279
Speaker 3: you about your finances so we can be prepared. Get

993
00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:02,680
Speaker 3: over your fears and figure out the approach you want

994
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 3: to take, and then find the time to do it.

995
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,440
Speaker 3: Find the time when you can sit down have the

996
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:13,120
Speaker 3: conversation without being rushed. Should not be during the Thanksgiving

997
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:14,880
Speaker 3: meal or the holiday meal, because there are going to

998
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:16,920
Speaker 3: be other people there who don't need to be part

999
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:20,040
Speaker 3: of the conversation. Talk to your siblings get them all

1000
00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:23,400
Speaker 3: on board, but get over your fear, make your plan

1001
00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:24,239
Speaker 3: and do it.

1002
00:51:24,640 --> 00:51:25,960
Speaker 1: And we all know what the trip to Fan and

1003
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,839
Speaker 1: the Turkey would do to a conversation, you know, all

1004
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:29,880
Speaker 1: the energy out right.

1005
00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:32,040
Speaker 3: Or someone's being I had too much wine and then

1006
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:34,400
Speaker 3: things get out of hand and everyone starts yelling and

1007
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:35,920
Speaker 3: it's not a good scene at all.

1008
00:51:36,680 --> 00:51:39,279
Speaker 2: No camera. This has been an awesome conversation. We really

1009
00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:41,719
Speaker 2: appreciate you joining us on this episode. And where can

1010
00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:44,000
Speaker 2: folks find you? As well as your book.

1011
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:47,720
Speaker 3: You can find out more information about me about my book,

1012
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:51,920
Speaker 3: I've got resources for people to use with their parents.

1013
00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:55,040
Speaker 3: It's all at Cameron Huddleston dot com and there are

1014
00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:59,280
Speaker 3: links to Amazon, Barnes and Noble and the other places

1015
00:51:59,280 --> 00:51:59,799
Speaker 3: where you can.

1016
00:51:59,680 --> 00:52:02,200
Speaker 1: Buy the book. Awesome, Cameron, thank you so much. This

1017
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:04,520
Speaker 1: has been a great conversation. We really appreciate you joining us.

1018
00:52:04,719 --> 00:52:05,080
Speaker 3: Thank you.

1019
00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:08,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks Cameron. All right, Joel Man, that was so good.

1020
00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:10,920
Speaker 2: What a great conversation. Which is funny to say about

1021
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:13,520
Speaker 2: something that isn't always the brightest topic. I remember when

1022
00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:16,160
Speaker 2: we did our episode on wills. Anytime we talk about

1023
00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:19,520
Speaker 2: something that is about end of life care or insurance,

1024
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:21,680
Speaker 2: bad situations, it's kind of a downer, but man, this

1025
00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:24,400
Speaker 2: was actually a really encouraging conversation and I'm glad we

1026
00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:25,759
Speaker 2: were able to talk with Cameron about this.

1027
00:52:25,920 --> 00:52:28,239
Speaker 1: Well. I think a lot of people there's this trepidation

1028
00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:30,680
Speaker 1: to even get started, right. It is such a difficult

1029
00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:32,640
Speaker 1: thing to say, I'm going to talk to my parents

1030
00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:34,880
Speaker 1: about their money and their future and their retirement and

1031
00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:37,640
Speaker 1: long term care. But I think Cameron gave us some

1032
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:40,120
Speaker 1: of the tools to get started and some of the

1033
00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:43,120
Speaker 1: motivation of why it's important and how it's going to

1034
00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:45,799
Speaker 1: help us and our parents at the same time. So

1035
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:48,000
Speaker 1: it was really good stuff. Yeah, I totally agree.

1036
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:50,240
Speaker 2: Man. So for you, what was your big takeaway?

1037
00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:53,120
Speaker 1: I think my big takeaway was the fact that, you know,

1038
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:55,840
Speaker 1: my parents are are in their mid sixties, but I

1039
00:52:55,920 --> 00:52:58,000
Speaker 1: still need to get a handle on some of these

1040
00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:01,799
Speaker 1: specific documents and whether they have them, what state they're in,

1041
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:04,600
Speaker 1: And that's a conversation. You know, We've had other conversations

1042
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:07,760
Speaker 1: about retirement in the future and how they're doing getting

1043
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:11,000
Speaker 1: ready for retirement, but I haven't gotten the power of attorney,

1044
00:53:11,160 --> 00:53:12,480
Speaker 1: and I don't know if they have a will, and

1045
00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:14,560
Speaker 1: so that's on my to do list for the coming

1046
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:17,600
Speaker 1: weeks to kind of start to have those specific conversations

1047
00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:19,960
Speaker 1: and drill down and see where they're at in those regards.

1048
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:22,080
Speaker 1: What about you, What was the big takeaway for you

1049
00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:22,360
Speaker 1: in this?

1050
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:24,880
Speaker 2: For me, I thought the biggest takeaway that I gleaned

1051
00:53:25,080 --> 00:53:27,719
Speaker 2: was for our younger listeners, for them to start these

1052
00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:30,520
Speaker 2: conversations with their parents when they're young, maybe fresh out

1053
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:34,160
Speaker 2: of college, and to start building this sort of culture

1054
00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:37,120
Speaker 2: of talking about these things. Right, this shouldn't be something

1055
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:40,000
Speaker 2: that is never talked about until you're in a tough situation.

1056
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:43,400
Speaker 2: This could instead be a healthy dialogue. And in particular,

1057
00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:45,080
Speaker 2: I just loved what she said about going to your

1058
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:46,160
Speaker 2: parents for advice.

1059
00:53:46,320 --> 00:53:46,640
Speaker 1: Me too.

1060
00:53:46,719 --> 00:53:49,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you start learning about maybe what to actually

1061
00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:51,080
Speaker 2: do in life. But you kind of start seeing what

1062
00:53:51,120 --> 00:53:53,239
Speaker 2: they're doing, and some of that might be good, some

1063
00:53:53,280 --> 00:53:55,479
Speaker 2: of that might not be so good. But you start

1064
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:57,319
Speaker 2: kind of gauging the temperature of the water a little bit.

1065
00:53:57,640 --> 00:53:59,960
Speaker 2: But what a great way to have these smaller conversations

1066
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:03,120
Speaker 2: sooner that feel just more casual. I think that's how

1067
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:05,200
Speaker 2: I would have liked to have approached it, maybe when

1068
00:54:05,239 --> 00:54:07,440
Speaker 2: I was fresh out of college. As it is, I

1069
00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:09,840
Speaker 2: actually can't really remember when I started having these conversations

1070
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:11,799
Speaker 2: with my parents, but I know for a lot of

1071
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:14,040
Speaker 2: our younger listeners that that could be an amazing way

1072
00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:15,280
Speaker 2: to just start that dialogue.

1073
00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:17,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, it feels sneaky like a fox to

1074
00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:20,319
Speaker 1: ask for advice and then get the conversation rolling that

1075
00:54:20,320 --> 00:54:22,960
Speaker 1: way like the smart kind of way to approach it.

1076
00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:25,040
Speaker 1: You know, people love being asked for advice, and so

1077
00:54:25,160 --> 00:54:27,800
Speaker 1: if you approach the conversation in that way, you'll find

1078
00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:29,920
Speaker 1: that the doors just open a little bit easier. So

1079
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:31,480
Speaker 1: it makes a lot of sense. All right, man, Let's

1080
00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:32,920
Speaker 1: get back to the beer that we had on the show.

1081
00:54:33,120 --> 00:54:35,360
Speaker 1: While we were talking with Cameron. We had a brewery

1082
00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:39,160
Speaker 1: called Fairy Nectar IPA by Cross Strain Brewing Company. This

1083
00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:42,000
Speaker 1: beer was donated to us by Joey in Omaha. And

1084
00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:42,839
Speaker 1: what do you think this beer?

1085
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:45,320
Speaker 2: Man? I am a huge fan of this beer. I

1086
00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:48,520
Speaker 2: thought this was really fantastic. It was incredibly balanced and

1087
00:54:48,600 --> 00:54:51,520
Speaker 2: so it didn't quite taste like an old school IPA,

1088
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:54,280
Speaker 2: but it also wasn't full on New England style hazy

1089
00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:56,319
Speaker 2: ipa either. It was just really balanced. I love the

1090
00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:58,400
Speaker 2: hot bitterness that came through, But I also really liked

1091
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:00,520
Speaker 2: there's some juicy notes coming through as well. But how

1092
00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:02,000
Speaker 2: about you, man, what were your thoughts on this beer?

1093
00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:04,319
Speaker 1: Yeah? To me, I agree, this wasn't old school. This

1094
00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:07,160
Speaker 1: wasn't completely new school. It was kind of like the

1095
00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:11,400
Speaker 1: cool kid, but the effortlessly cool kid, right, And so

1096
00:55:11,520 --> 00:55:13,880
Speaker 1: it was a really good beer. It was even bodied,

1097
00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:16,879
Speaker 1: it was fresh, had these nice aromas, and I thought

1098
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:19,719
Speaker 1: I had this nice little greapefruit vibe going on, which

1099
00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:21,440
Speaker 1: I love in a good ipa. So I thought this

1100
00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:23,799
Speaker 1: was a really really good beer. And so big thanks

1101
00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:25,440
Speaker 1: to Joey for sending it our way. Man, we really

1102
00:55:25,480 --> 00:55:26,000
Speaker 1: appreciate it.

1103
00:55:26,080 --> 00:55:27,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks so much, Joey.

1104
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:29,120
Speaker 1: All right, Matt, that's going to be it for this episode,

1105
00:55:29,160 --> 00:55:32,560
Speaker 1: and we are giving away a couple copies of Cameron's book, Yeah,

1106
00:55:32,560 --> 00:55:34,960
Speaker 1: Mom and Dad, we need to talk and a lot

1107
00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:37,879
Speaker 1: of our listeners could use the in depth, long form

1108
00:55:37,920 --> 00:55:40,839
Speaker 1: advice in Cameron's book. And so the way to get

1109
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:44,239
Speaker 1: entered into that drawing is to follow us on Instagram.

1110
00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:46,160
Speaker 1: All you have to do is click that follow button

1111
00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:49,000
Speaker 1: and then send us an email at Howtomoneypod at gmail

1112
00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:51,600
Speaker 1: dot com by Friday at noon and you will be

1113
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:55,400
Speaker 1: entered into that drawing. We'll announce the winners on Monday's

1114
00:55:55,400 --> 00:55:56,960
Speaker 1: podcast a week from today.

1115
00:55:56,840 --> 00:55:58,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, Joe, And to find us on Instagram, just search

1116
00:55:58,800 --> 00:55:59,520
Speaker 2: how to Money Pod.

1117
00:55:59,719 --> 00:56:02,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. And if you already follow us on Instagram, that's

1118
00:56:02,160 --> 00:56:04,839
Speaker 1: cool too. You are already entered in, but we still

1119
00:56:04,840 --> 00:56:06,440
Speaker 1: need that email from you letting us know.

1120
00:56:06,520 --> 00:56:08,719
Speaker 2: That's how you get entered exactly. Yeah, So that's gonna

1121
00:56:08,719 --> 00:56:10,239
Speaker 2: be it for this episode. Man. We'll have our show

1122
00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:13,000
Speaker 2: notes up per usual at how some money dot Com

1123
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:16,279
Speaker 2: and Joel Until next time, Best Friends Out, Best Friends Out,