1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:03,720 Speaker 1: Spreading in with Becca Tilly and Tanya Red and I 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: heart radio podcast. Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in and 3 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:16,000 Speaker 1: you know, Tanya is off in St bart somewhere living 4 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,880 Speaker 1: her best life. And so it was like, I need 5 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:22,159 Speaker 1: a co host. I need someone that can hang. I 6 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:25,760 Speaker 1: need someone who's gonna chat with me, keep the conversation going, 7 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:29,320 Speaker 1: and I thought, who better than the one and only 8 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:34,479 Speaker 1: Kitlin Bristo. Your microphone is killing me right, that is 9 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 1: a comical tiny microphone, actually shocking. So normally we record 10 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:46,920 Speaker 1: in tanya studio and she has like a full setup 11 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:49,880 Speaker 1: for the radio show, so it's like, you know, Big 12 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:53,040 Speaker 1: Mike's equipment everywhere. But when she's not here and I 13 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:59,080 Speaker 1: do it remotely, I this shockingly has really good audio quality. 14 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:01,520 Speaker 1: I feel like to joke, like you got that out 15 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:05,240 Speaker 1: of like a Barbie box and it's just like, honestly, 16 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,400 Speaker 1: to make people laugh. I can't believe that thing works. 17 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:11,240 Speaker 1: That's very funny. No, Actually easting our Easton, who is 18 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:14,160 Speaker 1: our engineer, he was like, let me test the quality, 19 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:18,319 Speaker 1: and that sentence, He's like, it sounds great. So we've 20 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:21,560 Speaker 1: just kept in. It's really cute. I could totally see 21 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:25,120 Speaker 1: you with one. It's adorable and also like the you 22 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,200 Speaker 1: know how we started off in cell phone world, Well, 23 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:29,800 Speaker 1: I guess they started really big, but then we went 24 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 1: to the tiniest of tiny, little flip phones and it 25 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:34,920 Speaker 1: was like the smaller the better. Yes, that's what that 26 00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 1: microphone reminds me of, because now the microphones were podcasting 27 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:40,480 Speaker 1: like the size of your head. But you're just kicking 28 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:43,080 Speaker 1: it old school over there with a little baby mike. Listen. 29 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 1: I have always liked tiny things, like it was a 30 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:48,560 Speaker 1: thing in my whole life growing up. I liked miniature 31 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,560 Speaker 1: So honestly, this is a dream come true that I'm 32 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:54,480 Speaker 1: using this tiny mic and that it works like those 33 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:57,720 Speaker 1: videos like Britney Spears likes where it's like all those 34 00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 1: like tiny little um like Pollypop get size everything and 35 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:03,280 Speaker 1: it's like a little piece of toast and they toasted 36 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:05,560 Speaker 1: in a mini toaster and then have a little baby 37 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,320 Speaker 1: like knives just read butter on it and everybody seems 38 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:11,240 Speaker 1: to like that. I love it, and I like there's 39 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,639 Speaker 1: it's actually they have a full account. It's called Tiny 40 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,240 Speaker 1: Kitchen and they make all these things. So me and 41 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:21,040 Speaker 1: Bernie Spears definitely are on the same wave there yeah, 42 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 1: we're both from Louisiana and we like tiny things. We 43 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:30,440 Speaker 1: love to dance, and you love to tum. How are you? 44 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:32,880 Speaker 1: You just celebrated your birthday yesterday. I know that you're 45 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 1: probably feeling just chipper and ready to chat away today, 46 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:40,120 Speaker 1: but you know me, well, you know it's funny, is 47 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:44,080 Speaker 1: so yeah, thank you for the birthday mentioned because it 48 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:46,440 Speaker 1: was one of those birthdays where I actually didn't care, 49 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,840 Speaker 1: like it was one of those like, oh, it's just 50 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,760 Speaker 1: you know, like it's I feel like thirty thirty five, 51 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:53,880 Speaker 1: forty will be a big one, but thirty seven is 52 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:55,880 Speaker 1: one of those like, hey, I just don't really care. 53 00:02:55,919 --> 00:02:58,359 Speaker 1: I just wanted to be around like my family, and 54 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:00,720 Speaker 1: that's what we did, and it was it was really nice. 55 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,040 Speaker 1: But I'm at a point in my life and this 56 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:05,040 Speaker 1: is not a bregg this is actually embarrassing where I 57 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,919 Speaker 1: just I can drink so much wine and feel nothing 58 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,960 Speaker 1: the next day. So it's it's a blessing and a 59 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,760 Speaker 1: curse because then I'm like, well, might as well just 60 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:14,880 Speaker 1: drink a lot of wine tonight. Um. But you know, 61 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,040 Speaker 1: here we are. I was tired this morning, but I 62 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 1: feel good now. I'm on my second coffee and just 63 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:24,120 Speaker 1: just here feeling great. So okay, does that mean you 64 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 1: can drink as much as long as it's wine and 65 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:29,839 Speaker 1: you don't get hungover? Now I can do tequila gin, 66 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 1: no hangover. I rarely get hungover. Like it's Jason always 67 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:37,960 Speaker 1: calls me like an anomaly or a psycho, one of 68 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,000 Speaker 1: the two. But he is like, how do you do that? 69 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,160 Speaker 1: And he goes where does it go? Like? Where does 70 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 1: it go? I'm like, I don't know. It's not cool. 71 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 1: I'm not like, yeah, I could drink not get hungover. 72 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 1: I wish I did. I wish I got hungover because 73 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:54,119 Speaker 1: then it would just like limit me at least. Well, 74 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:58,040 Speaker 1: it is true because you're like so tiny, and the 75 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:01,880 Speaker 1: fact that your body can handle that without any repercussion 76 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:07,920 Speaker 1: is yeah, it's scary. Actually, I'm like, where does it go? 77 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 1: I'm not sure we should. I should be like a 78 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:14,520 Speaker 1: study that they do on like and then. And I'm 79 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:18,039 Speaker 1: always a little bit paranoid about like is my liver okay? Um? 80 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:19,719 Speaker 1: Because I also don't get like it's not like I 81 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,560 Speaker 1: go get sloppy drunk every night. I just do wine. 82 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:25,919 Speaker 1: I enjoy it cocktail. Um. But my mom is always like, 83 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:28,600 Speaker 1: can you please get your liver checked. And every time 84 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:33,359 Speaker 1: I do, they're like, doo good, it's great, everything's funcdating perfectly. 85 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:37,680 Speaker 1: I'm like, they're like, we don't understand, but it looks amazing. Yeah, yeah, 86 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 1: looks great liver. It looks like a new liver. Yeah. 87 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,840 Speaker 1: I don't know. It's so bizarre. I have this. I 88 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,840 Speaker 1: was looking through old videos the other day. I came 89 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:47,719 Speaker 1: I was trying to find videos of something and I 90 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:51,760 Speaker 1: came across the videos when we were at your I 91 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 1: guess it was it a condo and apartment. You state 92 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:56,360 Speaker 1: it for Dancing with the Stars, and it was when 93 00:04:56,360 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 1: we all did the rooftop dinner and for some reason, 94 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:03,080 Speaker 1: and the Greatest Showman was the choice of soundtrack that night, 95 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,400 Speaker 1: and you were singing to one of the dogs and 96 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,560 Speaker 1: you hauld like lifted his ear and you were like 97 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 1: singing the end of the slow song, the inspirational one, 98 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:18,880 Speaker 1: No no, no, it was for the world We're gonna 99 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:22,840 Speaker 1: make yeah yeah yeah, but you whisper it in his ear. 100 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:28,080 Speaker 1: I have the funniest videos from that night and you 101 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:31,320 Speaker 1: and Becca Becca kirl friend, we really went for it 102 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,800 Speaker 1: that night. What was that? Was that just a It 103 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,640 Speaker 1: was some start, we're celebrating something. What were we celebrating. 104 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:42,360 Speaker 1: Weren't we celebrating you being on Dancing of the Stars. 105 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 1: Maybe that was I don't know. That was really nice, 106 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,479 Speaker 1: but it was like a whole no, I swear it 107 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,599 Speaker 1: was something else because there was a sign and it 108 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,760 Speaker 1: was like it felt like my birthday but it wasn't 109 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:57,680 Speaker 1: my birthday. But it was so fun and um, we 110 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 1: definitely got in like trouble because of the COVID officers 111 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:05,880 Speaker 1: out there, but I remember being like, I remember actually 112 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:10,600 Speaker 1: a few days after that, I got a false positive 113 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:14,160 Speaker 1: COVID test and I thought my career on Dancing with 114 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:17,200 Speaker 1: the Stars was over because as soon as you test positive, 115 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:21,000 Speaker 1: you're out of the competition. And so I am driving 116 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:22,360 Speaker 1: down the street. I'm about to go to like a 117 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,920 Speaker 1: costume fitting, and they called me and say, hey, um, 118 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 1: Caitlin moved really bad news. You tested positive for COVID. 119 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,880 Speaker 1: And I just like turned white and thought I was 120 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,320 Speaker 1: gonna throw up. And I pulled over and I just 121 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,680 Speaker 1: started hysterically bawling, and I was like, but what, I 122 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:38,280 Speaker 1: don't feel sick, like blah blah, And They're like, Okay, 123 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,320 Speaker 1: there is like a really small chance that this is 124 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:44,920 Speaker 1: like a false positive, and they were like Vernon Davis 125 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,359 Speaker 1: had a false positive, so like, and I was like, 126 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,880 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, and I immediately drove to a walk 127 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,880 Speaker 1: in clinic and waited and I got tested and they're like, no, 128 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:56,159 Speaker 1: it says negative. And I had to have three negative 129 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:59,640 Speaker 1: tests to move forward in the competition. And this was 130 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,200 Speaker 1: like early on too, and I was just so scared. 131 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:06,160 Speaker 1: And then I had three, uh three negatives in a row, 132 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 1: so I wasn't positive and I was like, nobody even 133 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 1: look at me anymore. I am so in the zone 134 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,240 Speaker 1: and I just like stayed in my little apartment and 135 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:18,960 Speaker 1: didn't see anyone. It was awful. I actually think, yeah, 136 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 1: I think like I think that was the last time 137 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:23,520 Speaker 1: I saw you during that time out here, because it 138 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:27,520 Speaker 1: gone and nobody even come near me. I was so 139 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:29,880 Speaker 1: paranoid because, oh my gosh, if that journey would have 140 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,559 Speaker 1: ended for me early, I just I don't I probably 141 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 1: wouldn't be able to show up for this podcast today. 142 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:38,679 Speaker 1: I would still be like in a corner crossing over it. Honestly, though, 143 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 1: I mean, You've done so much with Dancing Went the 144 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 1: Star since then, and I felt like the tour well, 145 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:48,400 Speaker 1: I was laughing because, um, you and I talked about 146 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:50,560 Speaker 1: how you were on the back of the bus and 147 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:53,440 Speaker 1: how horrible the back is. But you feel like you're 148 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: like the queen or king because you get the big 149 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 1: room and it's like the worst spot on the bus. 150 00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:03,600 Speaker 1: It was like the bottom deck of the Titanic. Are 151 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:06,320 Speaker 1: you missing that? Are you missing like dancing and being 152 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,559 Speaker 1: on stage? I do? I miss it so much. I 153 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,560 Speaker 1: thought three months on a bus and dancing every day, 154 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,240 Speaker 1: I was like, I am going to be miserable because 155 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:18,080 Speaker 1: that's a lot of work. And then I knew how 156 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,080 Speaker 1: crazy it got on Dancing with the Stars, where I 157 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:23,920 Speaker 1: was just like emotionally and physically just beaten down. And 158 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,800 Speaker 1: so for that, I was like, this is like it's 159 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 1: going to be a dream. But after, you know, three 160 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 1: weeks of this, I'm going to be miserable. But I 161 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:32,800 Speaker 1: was like crying at the end when it was over. 162 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:35,959 Speaker 1: I didn't want to leave everybody. I like they felt 163 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:39,640 Speaker 1: like family. There was no drama. It was just like fun. 164 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:43,440 Speaker 1: Every single night. We played cards, we drank wine, we danced, 165 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 1: we went to the gym. We like all did everything together. 166 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:50,640 Speaker 1: And I enjoyed every second of it. Except for the bus, 167 00:08:50,679 --> 00:08:53,480 Speaker 1: but like I loved the bus, but I hated sleeping 168 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:55,920 Speaker 1: on it. But everything else was just like it's so 169 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 1: crazy because I, truly my whole life, thought that like 170 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 1: I would be dancing for my until I couldn't anymore. 171 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,520 Speaker 1: Like you know how athletes have to retire at a 172 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:07,360 Speaker 1: certain point because it just does so much damage to 173 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:09,840 Speaker 1: their body. Like that's how I thought my I'd retire 174 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,000 Speaker 1: at thirty five as like a dancer, and so the 175 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,960 Speaker 1: fact that I was thirty six and just like on 176 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:15,679 Speaker 1: tour with Dancing with the Stars, I was like, so 177 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:19,360 Speaker 1: get in Caitlin, like appreciate every moment, and I was 178 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,679 Speaker 1: so happy to be there. I was such a like 179 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:25,199 Speaker 1: they were even like we've never seen someone like want 180 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:26,960 Speaker 1: to be a part of Usually they want their own 181 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 1: dressing room and like kind of keep to themselves and 182 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:33,120 Speaker 1: do their own thing. And I was like I was 183 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,880 Speaker 1: like in on their zoom meetings with like Dancing with 184 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,000 Speaker 1: the Stars, acting like I was like part of the show. Still, 185 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:39,199 Speaker 1: it was so funny. I was like, you got to 186 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:40,800 Speaker 1: put it out in the universe because I want to 187 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:44,000 Speaker 1: host that show. That's my next dream. I'm like, please, please, 188 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:45,760 Speaker 1: I'm gonna put it out there. I'm like just acting 189 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:48,800 Speaker 1: like I'm already in well. I feel like you are 190 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,880 Speaker 1: the queen of manifesting. Like what did you have a 191 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:55,080 Speaker 1: moment where you were like this works for me? Or 192 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 1: was it like after a while you started thinking about 193 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,520 Speaker 1: things that you've always dreamed of and watched them happen 194 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:04,560 Speaker 1: like more like a reflecting and realizing it or is 195 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,960 Speaker 1: it hasn't always been like an intentional thing that you 196 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:11,280 Speaker 1: do know it is now. But I was manifesting, I 197 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,679 Speaker 1: think since out of the womb. Like I'm pretty sure 198 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,000 Speaker 1: I did it without even realizing I was doing. Yeah, 199 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,280 Speaker 1: I just I feel like I've been manifesting things. Um. 200 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:22,120 Speaker 1: I remember being twenty two years old. So I'm actually 201 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 1: on this tour right now. This is why I'm in Canada. 202 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:27,280 Speaker 1: I'm on a wine Women and well Being UM tour. 203 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:31,320 Speaker 1: I'm a keynote speaker and it's about manifesting and um, 204 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,120 Speaker 1: so I was thinking about this and I'm like, I 205 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:36,440 Speaker 1: truly have been manifesting before I realized it was a thing. 206 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:41,320 Speaker 1: And I remember being twenty two and my girlfriend Penny 207 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:44,360 Speaker 1: was with me and she goes, if you want to 208 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,720 Speaker 1: live your dream life? She goes. You just have to 209 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:49,800 Speaker 1: start off by writing things down things, she goes, and 210 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:52,199 Speaker 1: you can't dream too big, Like nothing is too big. 211 00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:55,000 Speaker 1: Write down anything you would ever want in your life 212 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,960 Speaker 1: and hang it in your mirror and look at it 213 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,560 Speaker 1: every day. And I was like, okay. So I sat 214 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,320 Speaker 1: there and she took pictures of me, and I still 215 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:04,800 Speaker 1: have these photos of me writing lists of things I 216 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:08,040 Speaker 1: wanted to do, and um, I didn't realize it. But 217 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:10,320 Speaker 1: I didn't realize it until I was about thirty four 218 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,320 Speaker 1: when she sent me this photo and said, do you 219 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:14,320 Speaker 1: know it's on this list? And I said, no, I 220 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:18,080 Speaker 1: forget and it was, Um. I wanted to be an entrepreneur. 221 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,600 Speaker 1: I wanted to start my own businesses. I wanted to 222 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:23,439 Speaker 1: have my own radio show, which I didn't know podcasting 223 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,200 Speaker 1: was going to be a thing. I wanted to be 224 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:28,480 Speaker 1: on TV. I wanted to have a Golden Retriever, and 225 00:11:28,559 --> 00:11:31,840 Speaker 1: I wanted to have, um a guy that drove a 226 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:35,240 Speaker 1: truck and liked country music. So I dropped the ball 227 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:38,120 Speaker 1: on that one, Jayson. It definitely it's not like driving truck, 228 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:41,080 Speaker 1: but that's you know, can't have it all, um. But 229 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 1: it was so interesting because I'm like holy crap. I 230 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 1: used to look at that every single day and I 231 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:48,040 Speaker 1: used to think about it. And even when I went 232 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 1: through like the roughest time in my life and threw 233 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:53,760 Speaker 1: a breakup, and um, everybody was like, oh, you know, 234 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:57,559 Speaker 1: like are you gonna do something, go to school or education, 235 00:11:57,679 --> 00:11:59,640 Speaker 1: and I was like, back to working at a restaurant. 236 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,880 Speaker 1: I just always in the back of my mind knew 237 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:03,920 Speaker 1: something was going to happen. And I was just like, no, 238 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:06,120 Speaker 1: I just know some something will happen for me where 239 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:09,520 Speaker 1: it's it's I've just thought about this for way too 240 00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:12,240 Speaker 1: long in my life. And then manifesting really became a thing, 241 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:16,360 Speaker 1: um where like now we all talk about manifesting and 242 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,839 Speaker 1: like you want to do it and believe it. But 243 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:21,600 Speaker 1: I mean even back when so I talked so much 244 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:23,960 Speaker 1: so I hope this is no, this is great. I'm 245 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:27,559 Speaker 1: like so fascinated by this. Okay. Um, So even back 246 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:32,480 Speaker 1: I think I was twenty three and my boyfriend at 247 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:35,679 Speaker 1: the time was snowboarding and I was home visiting family 248 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,400 Speaker 1: and I was so mad because he was not calling 249 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:40,800 Speaker 1: me and not answering my text messages, and I was like, 250 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,440 Speaker 1: what the hell is going on? And my girlfriend called me, 251 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,040 Speaker 1: and she said, you're gonna need to get back on 252 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:49,280 Speaker 1: this next flight. Um, your boyfriend is in the hospital. 253 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:52,960 Speaker 1: He's in a coma and he's been in this terrible accident. 254 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 1: He was airlifted to the hospital. Um, he like tried 255 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,280 Speaker 1: to go off a jump and he was really good. 256 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 1: He tried to do like a backflip, but a little 257 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,840 Speaker 1: kid was coming through, so he panicked in the air 258 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 1: and ended up ended up landing on his head. And 259 00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:11,439 Speaker 1: so I was freaking out and I could not get 260 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,679 Speaker 1: a flight till the next morning. And so I was like, 261 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:17,319 Speaker 1: what can I do to like not think so negatively, 262 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,880 Speaker 1: to like put out positive thoughts? And my mom was like, 263 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:22,199 Speaker 1: why don't She had read the book The Secret. She goes, 264 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,000 Speaker 1: why don't you watch The Secret? I have it on 265 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,640 Speaker 1: a DVD. And I was like okay, And I started 266 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,640 Speaker 1: watching The Secret and it's all about like putting out 267 00:13:29,679 --> 00:13:32,560 Speaker 1: positive thoughts or like the law of attraction. And I 268 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:34,840 Speaker 1: just sat there and I wrote down like how he 269 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,120 Speaker 1: was going to be okay, And I just kept watching 270 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,760 Speaker 1: this movie that brought me so much comfort in like 271 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:43,960 Speaker 1: the power of positive thinking. And I got on that 272 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,880 Speaker 1: flight and I got there and he woke up and 273 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:51,199 Speaker 1: he was totally fine, and he like even made a 274 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:54,319 Speaker 1: joke he had tubes like up his nose and he goes, 275 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,480 Speaker 1: do I have like boogers in my nose? And I'm like, 276 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:59,040 Speaker 1: oh my god, they're tubes. But anyways, and it was 277 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,240 Speaker 1: just like in that moment, I was like, I'm going 278 00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:03,240 Speaker 1: to forever believe in the secret, and I'm going to 279 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:05,320 Speaker 1: watch these things and I'm gonna put out all these 280 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:07,719 Speaker 1: thoughts and I'm going to really immerse myself in the 281 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:11,920 Speaker 1: thoughts of like, um, like what that will look like. 282 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,640 Speaker 1: And I used to dream. I remember having a very 283 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,640 Speaker 1: vivid dream that I was going on The Bachelor, um 284 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:20,840 Speaker 1: and it was Ben Flannic what its name this season? 285 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:22,760 Speaker 1: And I was like fully in it. And I remember 286 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:25,080 Speaker 1: being in the I T M rooms and I would 287 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:28,000 Speaker 1: like felt it. And so when I got a call 288 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:29,400 Speaker 1: to go in batch, I was like, of course this 289 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:32,000 Speaker 1: is happening. And even before I went on Dancing with 290 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,000 Speaker 1: the Stars, I put a picture of a mirror ball 291 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:36,960 Speaker 1: in my mirror and I would see that, and so 292 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,600 Speaker 1: when I got the call or they said I was 293 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,960 Speaker 1: going on, I was like, oh my gosh. And then 294 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,840 Speaker 1: I would hold a Christmas ornament that was a mirrorball 295 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:45,720 Speaker 1: to go to sleep every night, and I would like 296 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,160 Speaker 1: picture what it was gonna smell, like like I could 297 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,200 Speaker 1: hear Tyras say in my name at the end, like 298 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:53,640 Speaker 1: this whole thing. I just like truly believe if you 299 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:58,320 Speaker 1: see yourself in these situations. And like, also, manifesting can't 300 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:01,600 Speaker 1: be used like we use the term anxiety or triggered anymore. 301 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:05,080 Speaker 1: Like we have to think of manifesting as also patients. 302 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:07,400 Speaker 1: I've been manifesting something since I was twenty two years old, 303 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:10,120 Speaker 1: and I didn't even know until it was in my thirties. Um, 304 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,480 Speaker 1: patients and a lot of hard work and putting yourself 305 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:14,440 Speaker 1: in positions to get to where you want to be, 306 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,840 Speaker 1: because um, you can't just write it down and then 307 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:20,000 Speaker 1: be like, come on, universe, the lap, like let it 308 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,840 Speaker 1: fall into the lap. Like it comes with a lot 309 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:25,040 Speaker 1: of hard work too. Well, it's kind of like, well, 310 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:28,000 Speaker 1: it's kind of like the um. Like I grew up, 311 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:32,600 Speaker 1: you know, very Christian and so like manifesting wasn't something 312 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:34,480 Speaker 1: that really anyway, Like I feel like it's kind of 313 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:37,480 Speaker 1: a newer term and something that people are talking about 314 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:39,400 Speaker 1: more really, like in the past couple of years, like 315 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:43,160 Speaker 1: you said. But um, I remember when I was at 316 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,680 Speaker 1: my old job before the Bachelor, and I never did 317 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,400 Speaker 1: any practices like this where I like wrote stuff down 318 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,480 Speaker 1: or put it out into the universe. And I mean 319 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,920 Speaker 1: I prayed, but that was not like an intentional yeah, 320 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:58,360 Speaker 1: but it was more like you know, yeah, I guess so, 321 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:01,000 Speaker 1: but it's just I guess like you're directing it too, 322 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:05,320 Speaker 1: I guess is the difference. Um. And so my old 323 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:07,560 Speaker 1: boss he was like, we're going to do a practice 324 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,200 Speaker 1: and we're gonna same thing that Penny said, like we're 325 00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:13,320 Speaker 1: going to write down everything and there's nothing too big, 326 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:17,000 Speaker 1: like if it seems totally out of touch or not realistic, 327 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:20,000 Speaker 1: it's fine, just write it down. And so I wrote 328 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:22,200 Speaker 1: and like at this time, I think I had traveled 329 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,640 Speaker 1: to Mexico on a cruise, like I had never traveled 330 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:29,200 Speaker 1: beyond like very close to home, and I had said, 331 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:32,120 Speaker 1: I wrote down I wanted to travel the world, and 332 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,200 Speaker 1: I never thought anything about it. And when I got 333 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,760 Speaker 1: when I got the call to go on The Bachelor, 334 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:41,240 Speaker 1: I thought, this is it, Like I'm going to travel 335 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:48,760 Speaker 1: the world. And an ironic twist the Midwest because it 336 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:52,000 Speaker 1: was during Chrismas season, and he was a farmer, and 337 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,520 Speaker 1: they wanted to see how we could handle a country 338 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:57,600 Speaker 1: living and we did go to Bali at the end. 339 00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 1: But yeah, it was like kind of funny because my 340 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:05,600 Speaker 1: mind like it worked. But that led to what my 341 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,920 Speaker 1: life is now, where it has been getting to travel 342 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,119 Speaker 1: and see the world. So I like fully believe in this, 343 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:14,000 Speaker 1: and I you know, I think some people think like, well, 344 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:16,720 Speaker 1: I've done that and it's not happening to me, you know. 345 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,760 Speaker 1: And I think you're talking about patients is such a 346 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:23,000 Speaker 1: big part of it, because even Tanya does like vision 347 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,960 Speaker 1: boards and stuff, and she's like, I look back on 348 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:28,359 Speaker 1: like vision boards from years ago, and I remember, like 349 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:30,360 Speaker 1: within the year I would look and be like, nothing's 350 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,959 Speaker 1: happening from my vision board. But now i look back 351 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,639 Speaker 1: at things from like five years ago and I'm like, 352 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:38,159 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, this happened. So it's there's so much 353 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:40,720 Speaker 1: patient like you you do forget that you wrote. That's 354 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,600 Speaker 1: why vision boards are so cool, because or journaling or 355 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,560 Speaker 1: anything that you can look back on and be like, 356 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,680 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I didn't even remember that in that moment. 357 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,399 Speaker 1: I felt this way, or I thought this, or I 358 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:51,639 Speaker 1: wanted this and now look at where I am. And 359 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,439 Speaker 1: that's why I always I always tell people with like 360 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:55,000 Speaker 1: you know they're going through such a hard time or 361 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,439 Speaker 1: a job transition or a breakup or anything. It's like, 362 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,360 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, please have all the patients and things 363 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,439 Speaker 1: down and see your life in a certain way. Because 364 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,320 Speaker 1: even if like how fast did the last two years 365 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:07,840 Speaker 1: go by? So if you think of something right now 366 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,960 Speaker 1: and you want to write it down in those like 367 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:12,600 Speaker 1: five years and five years, I think happens so fast 368 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:14,760 Speaker 1: and you look and look back on something that you 369 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:17,240 Speaker 1: really put out into the universe. And to your point, 370 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:20,560 Speaker 1: I think praying though, is like in my mind, it's 371 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,080 Speaker 1: just a different form of praying. Like to me, I'm 372 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,679 Speaker 1: praying to the universe, but the universe can be some 373 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:29,159 Speaker 1: people's God, like it's exactly you believe in that higher 374 00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:33,600 Speaker 1: power and you're either praying or you know, manifesting or 375 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,960 Speaker 1: I talked to the moon like a crazy lady like 376 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,760 Speaker 1: I genuinely go out there on a full moon or 377 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,520 Speaker 1: if I see them, I'll go out there and speak 378 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:42,919 Speaker 1: to it for an hour. And Jason's like, you're crazy, 379 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:45,639 Speaker 1: but it works, like He's like I look at this, 380 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:48,320 Speaker 1: and he goes, Um, Like, if I first met you 381 00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:49,840 Speaker 1: and saw you doing this, I'd be like, oh, I'm 382 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,879 Speaker 1: not sure about this one. He goes, put Now, I'm like, God, 383 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:55,959 Speaker 1: everything you've like talked to the moon about just happened, 384 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:59,560 Speaker 1: So I can't even make fun of you anymore. Yeah, 385 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,160 Speaker 1: you're literally like the queen of it. And I think 386 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:05,600 Speaker 1: you're right because you know, Haley, Um, we'll talk about 387 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,320 Speaker 1: like putting out into the universe, and we always talked 388 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:12,800 Speaker 1: about the similarities of praying, and it's like whatever you 389 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:18,479 Speaker 1: are your higher power putting it out there, and and um, 390 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:20,480 Speaker 1: like also the attitude you do it with, you know, 391 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,879 Speaker 1: I think there there's something about being grateful on top 392 00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:27,120 Speaker 1: of the patients and like accepting what is right now, 393 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,760 Speaker 1: and even if you're hoping for something new and something 394 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,760 Speaker 1: better and greater, it's like being able to have gratitude 395 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:37,080 Speaker 1: in the moment that you're in right now. It's that's 396 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:42,080 Speaker 1: another thing where I never, um journals. I did law 397 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,280 Speaker 1: was on The Bachelor, and then um, I really wanted 398 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,520 Speaker 1: I always wanted to get back into it because it 399 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,280 Speaker 1: seems like such a great thing to be like, Oh, 400 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:51,320 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go journal Um, but I'm I don't know, 401 00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:54,080 Speaker 1: I just hate using independent I like using pen and paper, 402 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,160 Speaker 1: but I get lazy after like tenments and like, yeah, 403 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,480 Speaker 1: my hand cramps. My hand cramps all the time. Um, 404 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:04,080 Speaker 1: but I that five minute gratitude Journal and I just 405 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:06,240 Speaker 1: like committed to doing it every morning and night. And 406 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,520 Speaker 1: then I was like, even after like three weeks, I 407 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,680 Speaker 1: saw a shift in myself. I was like, holy crapt 408 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,000 Speaker 1: three weeks of just feeling gratitude for things in them 409 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:16,080 Speaker 1: the amount that like, even the way I talked to myself, 410 00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:18,359 Speaker 1: the way I talked to Jason, the way I like 411 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:22,000 Speaker 1: approached to day was so different because you were constantly 412 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:23,879 Speaker 1: thinking like, oh, I gotta remember what I'm going to 413 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,359 Speaker 1: write down in the gratitude journal or this happened, and 414 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,280 Speaker 1: you're you're like feeding yourself with all the positive things 415 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:32,880 Speaker 1: through your day. Um, but so that you're thinking about 416 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,359 Speaker 1: it by the end of the night and it's the 417 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,800 Speaker 1: first thing you think about when you wake up. And 418 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,879 Speaker 1: I gotta get back into that because then when you 419 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:42,120 Speaker 1: travel and you forget it or whatever. But it's such 420 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,480 Speaker 1: an important thing to do every day, even if you 421 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:46,320 Speaker 1: don't write it down, even if you're just like you 422 00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:48,719 Speaker 1: wake up and before you scroll on your phone, be like, 423 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,080 Speaker 1: oh wait, I'm gonna stop myself. Let's think about three 424 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:52,840 Speaker 1: things I'm grateful for and then you can go to 425 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,359 Speaker 1: your phone or do whatever you gotta do. But it 426 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,480 Speaker 1: just shifts your whole brain for the day. I know 427 00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,200 Speaker 1: Haley is really good about journaling, like every night to 428 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:03,400 Speaker 1: read in journal, and even if it's like writing down 429 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:06,080 Speaker 1: just a few things like whatever happened during the day 430 00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:08,720 Speaker 1: or how she's feeling, I'm like so inspired by it 431 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:10,560 Speaker 1: because I'm the same way. I get like so lazy 432 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:13,199 Speaker 1: with it that I don't I'm like, that's the last thing. 433 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,600 Speaker 1: I'm gonna scroll TikTok instead. And I'm like, what if 434 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,840 Speaker 1: I use my time a little more wisely and like, 435 00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:22,560 Speaker 1: you know, did something kind of productive you could, I 436 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,160 Speaker 1: tell myself And maybe this is a big old lad 437 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:29,520 Speaker 1: I'm telling myself. But scrolling on, like you are the 438 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:33,440 Speaker 1: curator of your own media intakes, so you can decide 439 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:36,879 Speaker 1: what you're scrolling and seeing. Maybe not on TikTok, but 440 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:40,200 Speaker 1: like Instagram you can follow like inspirational accounts or people, 441 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:44,040 Speaker 1: but you know inspire you, and on TikTok, I swear 442 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:47,600 Speaker 1: I've got it where like I feel creative watching TikTok, 443 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:50,359 Speaker 1: I get like creative and I scroll and I'm like 444 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:54,480 Speaker 1: laughing and I'm happy and I'm being inspired by people 445 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:57,120 Speaker 1: there and I'm getting ideas. So I try and look 446 00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,840 Speaker 1: at it like that too, even though I'm like, we 447 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,760 Speaker 1: should all stop scrolling as much as we do, but 448 00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:03,879 Speaker 1: you can also look at it like you could be 449 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:07,399 Speaker 1: getting inspired of feeling creative by scrolling. You know, that's 450 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:11,160 Speaker 1: the insight that I needed to justify my actions. Yeah, 451 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:16,320 Speaker 1: you don't know it is true, though. I I watched 452 00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:19,919 Speaker 1: TikTok and it is. It's my algorithm, so random, but 453 00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:23,520 Speaker 1: it fits me. You know, like there's really funny stuff 454 00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:25,359 Speaker 1: that I'm like, I don't know if anyone else would 455 00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:27,600 Speaker 1: think this is funny. And then you know, there's a 456 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,800 Speaker 1: lot of things about faith and um kind of like 457 00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:34,840 Speaker 1: being open minded to hearing what other people think. And 458 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,360 Speaker 1: a lot of times I focus on people who are 459 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,680 Speaker 1: way smarter than me and who have done a lot 460 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,880 Speaker 1: more work than I have done in that area, in 461 00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:46,320 Speaker 1: any area, because I'm like I can learn from them. 462 00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:50,880 Speaker 1: And you know, TikTok's interesting because it's like who's actually 463 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,879 Speaker 1: legit and what they're teaching I don't know, you know, 464 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:58,040 Speaker 1: sometimes I because I often question them, like am I 465 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:02,120 Speaker 1: inspired by this? Are like UM influenced by this because 466 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:05,920 Speaker 1: it's what I want to hear? Or is it inspiring 467 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:09,399 Speaker 1: and influential because it's someone that I would seek advice from, 468 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:16,520 Speaker 1: and therefore what they're saying like inspires me or makes 469 00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:20,920 Speaker 1: you think deeper? You know, I know everybody on TikTok 470 00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:23,280 Speaker 1: seems to be a professional at what they do. And 471 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:26,280 Speaker 1: then you're like, is this just because you went viral 472 00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:28,280 Speaker 1: on one thing and now you're running with it, or 473 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:33,199 Speaker 1: like are you actually knowledgeable and going to um like 474 00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:37,080 Speaker 1: give me a new perspective? And you know, like it's 475 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,560 Speaker 1: it's scary and awesome at the same time, You're like, 476 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:42,720 Speaker 1: what am I feeding my brain? But also is it 477 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,200 Speaker 1: like putting me in the best place that I could 478 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:47,960 Speaker 1: be where I'm like, wow, I really learned from that today. 479 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,800 Speaker 1: But I think that's what's so scary about scrolling, Like 480 00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:55,520 Speaker 1: there's just so much out there and like I'm so 481 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,440 Speaker 1: into and we talked about this last time, like my 482 00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:02,600 Speaker 1: cycle or like even phases of like the moon or 483 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:05,360 Speaker 1: certain things and all of a sudden everyone is an 484 00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:08,440 Speaker 1: expert on astrology and all these things where I'm like 485 00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:11,199 Speaker 1: so overwhelmed by it, but I love it, and I'm like, 486 00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,720 Speaker 1: what information am I taking in right now? Because it 487 00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:17,720 Speaker 1: is a lot. Well, I want to talk about relationships, 488 00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:20,119 Speaker 1: including the one with social media, but we're gonna take 489 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:37,560 Speaker 1: a break and we'll be right back. All right, we're back, 490 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:42,359 Speaker 1: So I, um, I want to talk about relationship. You know, 491 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:47,840 Speaker 1: you and Jason wedding coming up and um, but because 492 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:49,840 Speaker 1: we just left off on the topic of social media. 493 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,639 Speaker 1: You're very open and honest about your relationship with social 494 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:57,399 Speaker 1: media and like when it causes anxious feelings and or 495 00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:00,760 Speaker 1: brings you down or makes you feel less, Stan, and 496 00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:03,520 Speaker 1: I love how open and vulnerable you are, and I 497 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 1: think it helps a lot of people to see someone 498 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:10,440 Speaker 1: who is so beautiful and successful and talented and someone 499 00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:14,240 Speaker 1: who has so much love and yet you still struggle 500 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:18,000 Speaker 1: with things that we all struggle with in a daily life. 501 00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:21,960 Speaker 1: And is there like, do you like, what's your relationship now? 502 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:24,919 Speaker 1: Because I'm curious, as you've gotten older, you've been in 503 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,800 Speaker 1: this like world for such a long time, and I've 504 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,280 Speaker 1: my relationship with it has changed a lot. But I'm 505 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:35,719 Speaker 1: curious where you are at with social media on this day. Uh, 506 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,880 Speaker 1: it really does depend on the day and where I'm 507 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:43,800 Speaker 1: at my cycle. Um. So true though, for real, because 508 00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:49,720 Speaker 1: I am I am just such a I don't I 509 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:51,800 Speaker 1: would have never said this about myself ten years ago, 510 00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:54,960 Speaker 1: but I'm such a go getter. And I'm like, I 511 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,760 Speaker 1: like being busy, but I also like taking time to 512 00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:00,760 Speaker 1: just like shut off and have my downtime. So when 513 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:04,440 Speaker 1: I went from like Dancing with the Stars to back 514 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,080 Speaker 1: to back film into the Bachelorette to the tour, I 515 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:10,679 Speaker 1: was like, good, I'm doing stuff. I'm like busy. Uh, 516 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,840 Speaker 1: this you know is like this is gonna sound really bad, 517 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,359 Speaker 1: but I'm like this looks good for my resume for 518 00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:18,480 Speaker 1: like what I want to do coming up, and like 519 00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:20,640 Speaker 1: if I want to get a housing role or whatever 520 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,000 Speaker 1: I want to do, I'm staying like I hate the 521 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:27,280 Speaker 1: word relevant, but like relevant like in a in a 522 00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:30,320 Speaker 1: world where that is my business. I need to stay 523 00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:34,560 Speaker 1: in certain positions to you know, keep being successful at 524 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:37,000 Speaker 1: my podcast and this. And I had to really think 525 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:40,399 Speaker 1: about what success meant to me because I was like, 526 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:44,320 Speaker 1: is it overworking myself? Um? And I got really excited 527 00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:48,719 Speaker 1: to actually come off the tour to focus on just 528 00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:52,159 Speaker 1: my podcast, Do Edit and Spade and Sparrows. I was like, 529 00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:55,479 Speaker 1: those are my three like pillars where um, I need 530 00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:57,000 Speaker 1: to focus on and I like that. But then I 531 00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:00,520 Speaker 1: get on social media and I see people like because 532 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,600 Speaker 1: because obviously we're in a world where we are friends 533 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:05,360 Speaker 1: with people who are hosting and doing TV shows and 534 00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:09,360 Speaker 1: working so hard and you see all this and everyone 535 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:11,840 Speaker 1: thinks about this hustle culture and you see it on 536 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,280 Speaker 1: social media every day. So then I got home and 537 00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:16,000 Speaker 1: I'm like, this is gonna be so great. I'm going 538 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,560 Speaker 1: to have that downtime and I'm going to focus on 539 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:22,640 Speaker 1: my businesses and that alone should be enough because because 540 00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:25,240 Speaker 1: it is that, I see everybody doing all these other 541 00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:26,520 Speaker 1: things and I'm like, oh my god, why am I 542 00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:29,679 Speaker 1: not hosting the MTV Movie Awards and why am I 543 00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:33,000 Speaker 1: not getting this phone call to do this? And it's 544 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:36,280 Speaker 1: because I'm seeing it on social media and I and 545 00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:40,120 Speaker 1: I have like this weird thing where I love watching 546 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:44,320 Speaker 1: people succeed. I love it, um because I think it's 547 00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:46,439 Speaker 1: the coolest thing in the world to like live your 548 00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:48,879 Speaker 1: dreams and do these big things. And like, so when 549 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,639 Speaker 1: I saw Tasha hosting that I had this mixed feeling 550 00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:54,360 Speaker 1: of like, dude, we're supposed to host things together, why 551 00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:57,840 Speaker 1: am I not there, but also just being like, fully, crap, 552 00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,480 Speaker 1: good for you. That is amazing that you look beautiful. 553 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,880 Speaker 1: And then I started thinking like am I not enough 554 00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:08,040 Speaker 1: to get these calls? And like I had this like 555 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:10,960 Speaker 1: I don't know, my brain is sometimes where I'm like, 556 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:12,760 Speaker 1: aren't you supposed to be on my same team? And 557 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:16,960 Speaker 1: we aren't sometimes And it all comes from schooling, and 558 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:20,359 Speaker 1: so I have like that duality of being so happy 559 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:23,080 Speaker 1: for people and also wondering why I'm not getting these 560 00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:27,280 Speaker 1: same opportunities, um, which is just so silly. So it 561 00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:30,840 Speaker 1: really does depend on the day, but um, I think 562 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:34,840 Speaker 1: I just have to really remind myself that I'm doing 563 00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:37,720 Speaker 1: a lot and I should be so proud of the 564 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:42,000 Speaker 1: things that I have and I want to evolved as 565 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:45,160 Speaker 1: a businesswoman so much. I keep listening to podcast like 566 00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:49,080 Speaker 1: Bethany Frankel's inspires me so much, and because I'm like, 567 00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:56,320 Speaker 1: there's so much too, um, you know, not not looking 568 00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:59,240 Speaker 1: successful on social media, like being successful in your own 569 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:02,400 Speaker 1: brain and doing what love can be can mean being successful. 570 00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:04,520 Speaker 1: And I've had to kind of shift my perspective on 571 00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:07,600 Speaker 1: what success looks like to me, because it really is 572 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:11,120 Speaker 1: being happy in the things that I am doing, whether 573 00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:14,760 Speaker 1: that be like being president, in my relationship, being on 574 00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:17,280 Speaker 1: all these business calls for Spade and Sparrows, learning about 575 00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:20,800 Speaker 1: that like it doesn't mean a dollar amount or um 576 00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:23,080 Speaker 1: my social media following. Like the other day, I was 577 00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:24,920 Speaker 1: like freaking out that I was going to go drop 578 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:28,640 Speaker 1: down to under two million followers because brands are going 579 00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:30,480 Speaker 1: to look differently at me and I'm not going to 580 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:33,080 Speaker 1: see like not because I care about like who likes 581 00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:35,200 Speaker 1: me and who doesn't, of course, but not to that extent. 582 00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:38,520 Speaker 1: It like the numbers to me mean business. Um, and 583 00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:43,000 Speaker 1: so I might stop looking at that and always think 584 00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:45,480 Speaker 1: today of like, what does success mean to you? It's 585 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:49,600 Speaker 1: not that number, it's um, building that community that you 586 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:54,480 Speaker 1: have in your podcast, or being happy in your relationship, um, 587 00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:57,400 Speaker 1: focusing more on what you actually like love doing instead 588 00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:01,320 Speaker 1: of thinking about what you should be doing. So, um, 589 00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:04,440 Speaker 1: I think it's redefining and telling myself what success is 590 00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:08,200 Speaker 1: to me while scrolling social media. Yeah, I mean I 591 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:11,560 Speaker 1: think it's so. I don't think that there's I don't 592 00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:16,240 Speaker 1: think it's realistic to do what I mean we I mean, 593 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:19,160 Speaker 1: you do way more than I do in terms of 594 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:22,640 Speaker 1: like business, and you're much more of a go getter 595 00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:27,400 Speaker 1: than I am. But I am. So you're claimed not 596 00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:30,560 Speaker 1: a go getter. I'm really not, but I'm fine with it, 597 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:37,160 Speaker 1: um And I get things done. But I'm a grastinator 598 00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:39,960 Speaker 1: and not a go getter. Um. But I do think 599 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,320 Speaker 1: it's impossible to have the expectation that we're going to 600 00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:48,760 Speaker 1: be in this industry where everything, everything is about what 601 00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:52,360 Speaker 1: you're seeing on social media. And I think that what 602 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:55,400 Speaker 1: you have created in Spain and Sparrows and do at 603 00:30:55,440 --> 00:31:00,120 Speaker 1: it and every your podcast, everything you do is or 604 00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:03,400 Speaker 1: the longevity and like being a businesswoman and what has 605 00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:06,600 Speaker 1: a long term power and all of these things like 606 00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:09,200 Speaker 1: the hosting gigs and what other people doing. It's so 607 00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:11,760 Speaker 1: exciting and it's so easy to cheer on and go like, 608 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:14,480 Speaker 1: that's so awesome and I'm so happy for her, and 609 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,800 Speaker 1: I hope I get to do something like that one day. 610 00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:22,480 Speaker 1: But also being able to like be content in the 611 00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:25,680 Speaker 1: things that you're working on behind the scenes that's not 612 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:30,640 Speaker 1: like focused or shiny and new on social media exactly exactly. 613 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,160 Speaker 1: But I do think like sometimes we're really hard on 614 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:35,680 Speaker 1: ourselves of like I'm not going to compare myself. But 615 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:38,760 Speaker 1: it's like, listen, we're in a world where unfortunately it's 616 00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:40,920 Speaker 1: the name of the game, and I think it's finding 617 00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:44,239 Speaker 1: just like you said, finding that balance of I can 618 00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:48,680 Speaker 1: cheer her on and still aspire to get something like that. Yeah, 619 00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:52,760 Speaker 1: both feelings can exist and that's okay. And like even 620 00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:57,160 Speaker 1: if you're feeling like you're comparing, just look at it 621 00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:59,640 Speaker 1: through a different lens of comparison, like, oh, it's going 622 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:03,360 Speaker 1: to be inspiring instead of competitive, or maybe that can 623 00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:07,120 Speaker 1: like like you can be happy for them and also 624 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:08,920 Speaker 1: be like okay, and then what do I want to 625 00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,760 Speaker 1: do with this and like let it kind of motivate 626 00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:15,280 Speaker 1: you instead of break you down. Yeah, And we were 627 00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:18,520 Speaker 1: kind of part of, especially in the Bachelor world, like 628 00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:23,560 Speaker 1: the first round of like Instagram influencers to come off 629 00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:26,880 Speaker 1: of the show and so then as like every season 630 00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:30,320 Speaker 1: kept coming and girls were having more followers and more 631 00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,320 Speaker 1: instant success, it was like, oh my gosh, like it's 632 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:36,800 Speaker 1: you know, I'm gonna be forgotten And in my mind, 633 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:40,720 Speaker 1: I'm like it's fine, I'll find someboding else not go 634 00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:45,000 Speaker 1: get her mentality, just like it'll be fine. That's a 635 00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:48,280 Speaker 1: good mentality to have to because that's I've had a 636 00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:50,600 Speaker 1: little more of that. I know. Everyone just keeps getting 637 00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:52,440 Speaker 1: younger and prettier in the bachelor world, and I'm like, 638 00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:56,600 Speaker 1: I'm just getting older, and like, I know it a 639 00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:59,080 Speaker 1: stupid way of thinking, but it's I mean, we're all 640 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:02,960 Speaker 1: human beings that have the same insecurities and thoughts and everything. 641 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:06,320 Speaker 1: But yeah, that was crazy. I'll never forget you. And 642 00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:11,600 Speaker 1: I went out um after women Tell All, and I 643 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:14,520 Speaker 1: woke up the next day with so many more followers 644 00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:15,960 Speaker 1: just after one night because I think it got out 645 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:17,760 Speaker 1: that maybe I was going to be the Bachelor or something. 646 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:21,080 Speaker 1: I don't know, And then, um, why am I bringing 647 00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:23,120 Speaker 1: this up? Sean used to say to me, like, I 648 00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,480 Speaker 1: think you paid for your followers, and I was like, 649 00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:30,680 Speaker 1: asked Becca, I even I wish fun at Earth that 650 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:35,240 Speaker 1: night to be able to think, Yeah, she was not 651 00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:38,520 Speaker 1: buying followers. We were I don't know what we were doing, 652 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,040 Speaker 1: but she wasn't putting a credit card number and anything. 653 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:51,640 Speaker 1: I'll tell you that much. Good times. Um, speaking of nothing, 654 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:56,360 Speaker 1: what what's going on with the wedding planning? And I mean, 655 00:33:56,440 --> 00:34:00,320 Speaker 1: what is that something that you're like, are you someone 656 00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,200 Speaker 1: who's like had a dream and like vision envisioned your wedding, 657 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:06,840 Speaker 1: your whole life or is it's okay? I haven't either 658 00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:13,280 Speaker 1: ever thought about that, even when, um, you know knowingly 659 00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,879 Speaker 1: I'm going on the Bachelorette to get engaged at the end, 660 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:19,919 Speaker 1: I always pictured being engaged, but I never pictured like 661 00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:22,960 Speaker 1: what my wedding will look like, or like I never 662 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:25,880 Speaker 1: was that little kid that put on the like freaking 663 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,919 Speaker 1: pillow case on her head and was like I'm gonna 664 00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:31,279 Speaker 1: be a ride, Like I would never like that. Um, 665 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:34,520 Speaker 1: and this is so crazy, but I had a past 666 00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:37,520 Speaker 1: life progressor on my podcast to talk about like when 667 00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:39,279 Speaker 1: I was like in past lives and I don't know 668 00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:42,360 Speaker 1: if this is true or what a bunch of bs, 669 00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:44,719 Speaker 1: but it was, like she said, in all of my 670 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:47,680 Speaker 1: past lives, like I've just wanted to have my own 671 00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:50,480 Speaker 1: voice and like go against the grain, and like I 672 00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:53,240 Speaker 1: would stand on a street in like the seventeen hundreds 673 00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:57,480 Speaker 1: and like be called the witch, and like that's probably 674 00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:01,000 Speaker 1: not exactly how the story went, but like it was 675 00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:03,560 Speaker 1: in all of my life, I've wanted to just be 676 00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:07,120 Speaker 1: this independent person who had my own voice and like 677 00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:12,680 Speaker 1: just went against what society told me to do. And 678 00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:16,840 Speaker 1: so I'm like, even in this world, I'm like, what 679 00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:20,239 Speaker 1: does marriage mean? Because if you go back into like 680 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:24,360 Speaker 1: where it originated, it was like a man owning a 681 00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:30,600 Speaker 1: woman and like to me, I'm like I hate that. Um. 682 00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:33,919 Speaker 1: But also Jason is very much like Mr. Traditional, where 683 00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:37,000 Speaker 1: he's like, you go to school, you get your education, 684 00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:41,359 Speaker 1: you get married, you have children, um. And so we're 685 00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,960 Speaker 1: so different in that way where he just pictures, you know, 686 00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:46,480 Speaker 1: this wedding and this big wedding, and he's actually got 687 00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:48,319 Speaker 1: me excited to have a bigger wedding and do this 688 00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:51,040 Speaker 1: because he's always envisioned it and I'm like sure, and 689 00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,000 Speaker 1: then once we talk about it, it gets exciting. But 690 00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:56,399 Speaker 1: I'm just never you know, I've just been like, can't 691 00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:58,759 Speaker 1: we just say we're married? Like I want, I want 692 00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:00,440 Speaker 1: to be with you forever? Can I just call you 693 00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:02,319 Speaker 1: my husband and we can have a party, But like, 694 00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:04,879 Speaker 1: do we have to sign these papers that say like 695 00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:09,000 Speaker 1: and I just I go back to where marriage originated 696 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:14,359 Speaker 1: and I get all like feminist on everyone because I'm like, now, um, 697 00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:18,759 Speaker 1: So it's been interesting because you know, obviously I know 698 00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:21,759 Speaker 1: we're going to get married, and I just keep thinking, 699 00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:23,879 Speaker 1: like what does that mean? And I have to really 700 00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:26,480 Speaker 1: just tell myself, like my definition of marriage can be 701 00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:30,320 Speaker 1: different from where it all started. And so when it 702 00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:32,839 Speaker 1: comes to wedding planning, Jason, Jason is usually a really 703 00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:35,320 Speaker 1: good planner, but we're both just like, and this is 704 00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,160 Speaker 1: something we really need to work on in our relationship. 705 00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:39,279 Speaker 1: And I've talked about this on other podcasts or my own, 706 00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:42,880 Speaker 1: but we're so career driven, the both of us, that 707 00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:46,120 Speaker 1: we forget to put each other first in our relationship first. 708 00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:50,080 Speaker 1: We kind of put it second, um, because we are 709 00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:52,399 Speaker 1: both just so focused on what we need to do, 710 00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:55,640 Speaker 1: and sometimes we're like, wait, we should probably get back 711 00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:58,120 Speaker 1: on the same page and like make our relationship a 712 00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:01,040 Speaker 1: priority because we can see ourselves drifting sometimes or not 713 00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:03,640 Speaker 1: being like as close as we used to be. And 714 00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:05,480 Speaker 1: when you're not as close as you used to be, 715 00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:08,560 Speaker 1: are on the same page, still obviously in love, but 716 00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:11,480 Speaker 1: just on different pages. You don't think about planning a 717 00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:14,239 Speaker 1: wedding and you're not gonna down and like do all 718 00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:17,759 Speaker 1: these things to you know, And we've tried to set 719 00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:19,759 Speaker 1: a date, and we've tried to find a venue and 720 00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,400 Speaker 1: wedding planning is a lot harder than I thought it 721 00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:24,400 Speaker 1: was going to be. Um, even though we have a 722 00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:29,080 Speaker 1: wedding planner. But it's like if you if you say 723 00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:32,520 Speaker 1: something like to a vendor or a venue or something, 724 00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:34,560 Speaker 1: you add the word wedding onto it, they're gonna like 725 00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:38,200 Speaker 1: triple quadruple the price of it. And then Jason gets 726 00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:41,120 Speaker 1: so mad because he hates being taken advantage of and 727 00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:44,319 Speaker 1: he's such a budget or. And it's so funny because 728 00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:47,120 Speaker 1: then we just get so discouraged through wedding planning when 729 00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:50,279 Speaker 1: it should be really fun and exciting, and we find 730 00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:53,480 Speaker 1: it really discouraging and annoying, and we feel taken advantage 731 00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:56,840 Speaker 1: of by people, and it just like has been putting 732 00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:00,200 Speaker 1: not a hold on it, but like slowing it down 733 00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:03,360 Speaker 1: when we should, you know, And especially because I just 734 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:06,719 Speaker 1: turned thirty seven yesterday, so I'm like, I really want 735 00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:08,879 Speaker 1: to have a baby, so you know, if Jason wants 736 00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:23,120 Speaker 1: to get married first one, I'm like, I don't care. Yeah, yeah, Okay, guys. 737 00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:27,279 Speaker 1: We just recap a very major episode Beverly Hills and 738 00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:32,439 Speaker 1: nine o two now and it is juicy. Dylan's dad 739 00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:36,440 Speaker 1: is trying to steal its money, Brenda is crying over Dylan. 740 00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:40,600 Speaker 1: David is about to drop Steve as his manager. Looking 741 00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:44,120 Speaker 1: back at these episodes is honestly so fun, and it's 742 00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:46,520 Speaker 1: even more fun to look back with our fans, who 743 00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:51,080 Speaker 1: we usually remember more than we do for we love 744 00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:55,200 Speaker 1: your feedback, so keep it coming. We read all your comments, 745 00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:58,319 Speaker 1: and we appreciate your love so much. You guys, so 746 00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:02,880 Speaker 1: join us every week for new episode recaps and special guests. 747 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:06,600 Speaker 1: Listen to nine O two one, OMG wherever you listen 748 00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:14,879 Speaker 1: to podcasts. Traditions are so hard because there's a lot 749 00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:17,440 Speaker 1: of beauty and tradition. You know, there's a lot of 750 00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:23,480 Speaker 1: sentiment in tradition, but there's also that feeling that I 751 00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:28,520 Speaker 1: also get to where it's like, is am I participating 752 00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:32,160 Speaker 1: in tradition because it's what is expected expected of me 753 00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:35,680 Speaker 1: from society? Or is this something that I want to 754 00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:39,560 Speaker 1: experience in my own life? And um, you know, there's 755 00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:41,920 Speaker 1: things that Haley and I both agree on and then 756 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,920 Speaker 1: things where we're like different, you know, have different opinions 757 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:48,880 Speaker 1: or views on and um, I do think that the 758 00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:52,320 Speaker 1: being both of you being career driven is interesting because 759 00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:55,640 Speaker 1: Haley is definitely like super career driven, like she like 760 00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,800 Speaker 1: she loves to work, like she considers work with a hobby. 761 00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:02,919 Speaker 1: I'm like, well, I don't understand. So I'm like give 762 00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:05,319 Speaker 1: me attention, like I need attention. And sometimes it's like 763 00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:09,680 Speaker 1: having that conversation of like, hey, I want to be 764 00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:12,360 Speaker 1: as like I want you to be as excited about 765 00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:15,200 Speaker 1: like date night as you are about work, you know, 766 00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:17,640 Speaker 1: And it's like finding that balance and so I totally 767 00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:19,600 Speaker 1: get that, and I don't think people talk about that 768 00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:23,799 Speaker 1: enough to where it's like normalized that. Sometimes it's so 769 00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:29,000 Speaker 1: important to have a moment where you reconnect and like 770 00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:32,080 Speaker 1: get back on the same page and because then everything 771 00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:36,120 Speaker 1: everything in life kind of like flows better, especially in 772 00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:39,399 Speaker 1: this world when people are so invested in your relationship 773 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:43,000 Speaker 1: and you know, people have waited so long to hear 774 00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,480 Speaker 1: about your relationships and now they probably want to know everything. 775 00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:50,719 Speaker 1: And it's like, I think it's so um hard to 776 00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:53,760 Speaker 1: talk about the hard times because you're like do people 777 00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:55,520 Speaker 1: want to hear that or do they want to hear 778 00:40:55,560 --> 00:40:58,399 Speaker 1: the fairy tale of like how great everything is? And 779 00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:01,239 Speaker 1: because I'm such a book and I just talk about 780 00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:05,080 Speaker 1: everything and people think like, oh my god, You're like 781 00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:08,680 Speaker 1: I'll probably here later, Like you stop putting your career first, 782 00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:11,280 Speaker 1: and then they'll start, you know, like people will blame 783 00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:14,880 Speaker 1: me for not getting married. And when you put everything 784 00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:19,520 Speaker 1: out there, everyone has an opinion and and obviously like 785 00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:23,239 Speaker 1: they're allowed to because I'm putting everything out there, so 786 00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:25,239 Speaker 1: they're allowed to either agree with me or not or 787 00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:28,239 Speaker 1: you know whatever. But then you hear about it all 788 00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:32,760 Speaker 1: and then you start questioning everything that you're doing. But yet, Wow, 789 00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:34,520 Speaker 1: I really lost my train of thought there. What was 790 00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:38,120 Speaker 1: no just talking about being on the state well, talking 791 00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:44,279 Speaker 1: about like normalizing, Yeah, normalizing like that sometimes like all 792 00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:49,000 Speaker 1: relationships go through such ups and downs, Like there's like 793 00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:52,760 Speaker 1: maybe zero point zero one percent of relationships that maybe 794 00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:57,520 Speaker 1: just are so compatible and like smooth sailing, but like 795 00:41:57,560 --> 00:41:59,960 Speaker 1: that is so abnormal and like good for those people, 796 00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:04,200 Speaker 1: that's amazing, but that's so not normal, and so for me, 797 00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:07,600 Speaker 1: I think it's always and Jason's kind of like, hey, 798 00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:10,680 Speaker 1: can you like maybe not overshare all of our problems 799 00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:13,960 Speaker 1: and unlike? But that's important to me because um, I 800 00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:16,960 Speaker 1: don't like putting out a perfect image of what relationships 801 00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:20,960 Speaker 1: look like or having all good times like it is. 802 00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:23,080 Speaker 1: I think it is important to talk about not being 803 00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:24,960 Speaker 1: on the same page and how that's okay, and that 804 00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:26,839 Speaker 1: it doesn't mean that it's the end or it doesn't 805 00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:29,480 Speaker 1: mean you guys have problems. It means that you're probably 806 00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:32,799 Speaker 1: normal relationship that are that's going through something. And you know, 807 00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:35,720 Speaker 1: it's been three and a half years for us and 808 00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:40,960 Speaker 1: we were like incomplete bliss and honeymoon phase for so long, um, 809 00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:43,520 Speaker 1: and then it was like back to back work work 810 00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:48,120 Speaker 1: work and being gone um. And the same thing for him, 811 00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:50,480 Speaker 1: like he's doing like he had his head down working 812 00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:52,200 Speaker 1: on a book for so long and then he's out 813 00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:54,319 Speaker 1: on a book tour and I'm here and we're both 814 00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:57,480 Speaker 1: just always gone that like that's bound to happen in 815 00:42:57,480 --> 00:43:00,719 Speaker 1: a relationship where you're like, wait, where are we at? 816 00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:03,799 Speaker 1: And go on with us and like we have been 817 00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:06,759 Speaker 1: going through like a tougher time because of that, And 818 00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:12,000 Speaker 1: I'm like, but that's also okay, Like it's and yeah, again, 819 00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:15,920 Speaker 1: I just think it's okay that even when you said, like, hey, 820 00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:18,680 Speaker 1: I wish you would like give the same excitement to 821 00:43:18,719 --> 00:43:20,960 Speaker 1: a date night as you do to work. Like I 822 00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:23,319 Speaker 1: say that to Jason all the time, and he'll you know, 823 00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:25,040 Speaker 1: point right back at me. And be like do you 824 00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:28,200 Speaker 1: know like who you are and what you're doing. I'm like, 825 00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:30,560 Speaker 1: I'm like, put your phone now, why are you working? 826 00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:32,760 Speaker 1: All you care about his work? And he's like, dude, 827 00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:38,000 Speaker 1: you literally haven't been home in a year. I've been working. 828 00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:41,839 Speaker 1: And I'm like, shit, that is so me. Like We'll 829 00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:45,400 Speaker 1: be doing something and I'll be on my phone just scrolling, 830 00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:47,840 Speaker 1: and then I'll be done scrolling and Haley will be 831 00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:50,160 Speaker 1: on her phone and I'm like, excuse me, and she's like, 832 00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:55,560 Speaker 1: You've literally been on your phone this whole time. So yeah, 833 00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:59,440 Speaker 1: it's it is interesting. And I have a question for you, because, 834 00:43:59,719 --> 00:44:02,200 Speaker 1: m do you ever see on TikTok? I guess people 835 00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:05,000 Speaker 1: call them like we we grew up calling them like 836 00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:08,200 Speaker 1: turn offs. But is there anything Jason does like regularly 837 00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:11,480 Speaker 1: that he gives you the yeah, Oh my god. I 838 00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:13,839 Speaker 1: think sometimes we drive each other nuts with that kind 839 00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:19,560 Speaker 1: of thing, because um he first of all, people know this, 840 00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:23,600 Speaker 1: but I have misophonia where sounds really triggered me. Um 841 00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:27,920 Speaker 1: Like if somebody SIPs coffee, I'm like I might hate you. 842 00:44:28,520 --> 00:44:33,640 Speaker 1: Um or like like snoring really really triggers my misophonia, 843 00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:38,200 Speaker 1: and he snores so loud that I am actually so 844 00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:40,319 Speaker 1: turned off that I just will stare at him while 845 00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:43,960 Speaker 1: he's staring and go like, oh, like because it just 846 00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:46,879 Speaker 1: like triggers that misophonia in my brain where I get 847 00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:54,440 Speaker 1: like unreasonably rag and and I think, yeah, so I 848 00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:57,000 Speaker 1: would say the snoring or the noises that like, he's 849 00:44:57,040 --> 00:45:01,919 Speaker 1: also like got a deviated set them. There's something we're 850 00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:04,640 Speaker 1: just like the breathing sounds. I'm like, I feel like 851 00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:09,319 Speaker 1: I'm a monster because of how you are. Yeah, I'm like, 852 00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:14,239 Speaker 1: why am I so enraged right now? From a sound? Like? 853 00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:20,280 Speaker 1: Is that normal? Um? But yeah? Also Instagram Jason gives 854 00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:29,080 Speaker 1: me the ick plays elaborate. Who's the guy that's like 855 00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:34,799 Speaker 1: does the selling like a the like um, like a 856 00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:38,320 Speaker 1: freaking like what is that? Like an infomercial? Like a 857 00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:44,240 Speaker 1: oh there's more Like That's how I see on Instagram 858 00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:47,440 Speaker 1: is always like let me tell you something, blah blah blah, 859 00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:50,400 Speaker 1: and then we've got this and I'm like, oh gosh, 860 00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:54,160 Speaker 1: like like Instagram Jason is like so on, but like 861 00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:58,000 Speaker 1: the real Jason, I'm like, oh, I love the real 862 00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:00,520 Speaker 1: Like so the Instagram Jason just it's like he's like 863 00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:04,520 Speaker 1: an infomercial, always trying to sell me on something, and 864 00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:07,520 Speaker 1: I'm like, let's just let's just reel it in a 865 00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:13,080 Speaker 1: little bit. Does he notice? Yeah, about himself. He told 866 00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:14,640 Speaker 1: me to mute him on Instagram. He's like, why do 867 00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:16,600 Speaker 1: you just mute me? Because all I could go through 868 00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:19,080 Speaker 1: his story and I'll be like, Ah, it's just so much, 869 00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:21,480 Speaker 1: It's so much, but it's his thing, and it's yeah, 870 00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:24,680 Speaker 1: he really is like that, even if it's just not 871 00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:28,080 Speaker 1: on Instagram, Like, he just gets so passionate about things, 872 00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:30,160 Speaker 1: so I can't be annoyed at it. But also I 873 00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:33,880 Speaker 1: can because I'm human being who lives with this person 874 00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:36,279 Speaker 1: and the things are obviously going to drive you nuts. 875 00:46:36,320 --> 00:46:40,439 Speaker 1: But yeah, Instagram, Jason, the miss aphonia thing is real. 876 00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:43,279 Speaker 1: The other day, I did like the cutest TikTok where 877 00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:45,160 Speaker 1: I was I don't know if you've seen the trend, 878 00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:48,000 Speaker 1: but it's like where you ask your significant other like 879 00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:49,839 Speaker 1: what day of the week do I remind you of? 880 00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:52,040 Speaker 1: And the whole thing is that there do you want 881 00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:54,360 Speaker 1: them to say a Sunday? Because there's a song lyric 882 00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:57,320 Speaker 1: of this guy being like you remind me of Sunday? Whatever. Yeah, 883 00:46:57,640 --> 00:47:00,239 Speaker 1: So I asked Haylee and I'm like, have the owned 884 00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:03,759 Speaker 1: facing me so you don't see her. And I was like, hey, 885 00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:05,080 Speaker 1: I was like, what day of the week to I 886 00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:07,680 Speaker 1: remind you of? And she was like she does not 887 00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:09,920 Speaker 1: even watch She's like not on TikTok at all, and 888 00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:14,920 Speaker 1: she was like, um, Sunday and I smile. But the 889 00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:17,600 Speaker 1: noise that my mouth made when I smiled, I was like, 890 00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:23,920 Speaker 1: I can't boast no, because I literally was like I 891 00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:26,880 Speaker 1: can't post it because I also missing voting and I 892 00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:30,319 Speaker 1: couldn't do that to anybody else. Get it, I know 893 00:47:30,360 --> 00:47:35,880 Speaker 1: exactly talking to what it's like. We call him smile pops, 894 00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:39,719 Speaker 1: and I hate it. I hated it. So I was like, well, 895 00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:41,800 Speaker 1: that's gonna have to live in the drafts and maybe 896 00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:45,000 Speaker 1: I'll silence the sound or something. I want to see 897 00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:47,440 Speaker 1: that because it was probably the most genuine little smile 898 00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:52,520 Speaker 1: that's she said, Sunday. That's the right answer. I feel 899 00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:58,960 Speaker 1: like me like Tuesday, because like, wait, what is my 900 00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:03,520 Speaker 1: justification to this? I feel like Mondays. He I feel 901 00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:06,440 Speaker 1: like Mondays. He likes like he's like, let's get motivated. 902 00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:10,480 Speaker 1: It's the start of the week. Let's where Tuesdays like 903 00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:12,839 Speaker 1: his Monday, where he's like Tuesday's kind of annoying because 904 00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:14,560 Speaker 1: it's like not on day yet, that's not like close 905 00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:16,879 Speaker 1: to the weekend. It's like it kind of annoys him. 906 00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:19,640 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm like a little like annoying sometimes 907 00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:22,000 Speaker 1: to him, where he's like half the time he called 908 00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:23,640 Speaker 1: me a Tuesday, and then half the time he might 909 00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:25,880 Speaker 1: call me a Sunday again, depends on where I'm at 910 00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:30,400 Speaker 1: my cycle. The cycle thing is so real though, and 911 00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:34,960 Speaker 1: you know, like them when I whenever I'm on Instagram, 912 00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:39,160 Speaker 1: and I find myself feeling like really sensitive to things 913 00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:42,879 Speaker 1: that like aren't even rude, you know, they're just like 914 00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:46,880 Speaker 1: statements or something like some of the other like last 915 00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:52,240 Speaker 1: month was like I don't like your your eyebrows and 916 00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:55,120 Speaker 1: it was just like an opinion, which like it wasn't 917 00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:57,240 Speaker 1: even I mean, it wasn't like nice, but it wasn't 918 00:48:57,280 --> 00:49:01,680 Speaker 1: like horribly mean. I've gotten way work, and I was 919 00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:04,920 Speaker 1: just like, I'm getting off Instagram. I'm not doing social 920 00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:07,279 Speaker 1: media anymore, and I was like, why am I reacting 921 00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:11,759 Speaker 1: like this? And then I have remembered she's coming, Oh yeah, 922 00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:16,520 Speaker 1: she's on her way. It's it's actually it's just such clockwork. 923 00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:19,120 Speaker 1: And I always say, like you'd think at the age 924 00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:21,160 Speaker 1: of it's hard for me to say, thirty seven, now, 925 00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:23,080 Speaker 1: that's so weird. At the age of thirty seven, you 926 00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:26,040 Speaker 1: would think like, well, kayline, you've been dealing with this 927 00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:31,200 Speaker 1: for however many years, like like over like twenty five years, 928 00:49:31,239 --> 00:49:32,920 Speaker 1: you've been dealing with this. You would think at this 929 00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:34,759 Speaker 1: point you can like really take a look at your 930 00:49:34,760 --> 00:49:37,560 Speaker 1: calendar and be like, yeah, okay, and this is what 931 00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:40,160 Speaker 1: it is. But you're always like, no, that's not what 932 00:49:40,160 --> 00:49:42,400 Speaker 1: it is. This is really how I'm feeling, and you 933 00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:45,960 Speaker 1: want to like deny that it's like PMS because you're 934 00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:48,040 Speaker 1: like no, because you don't want it to take away, 935 00:49:48,080 --> 00:49:51,760 Speaker 1: like dismiss how you're actually feeling. You're like, literally, excuse 936 00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:55,319 Speaker 1: I want this to be that's how I feel. You're 937 00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:57,319 Speaker 1: like want to be an excuse you want you don't 938 00:49:57,360 --> 00:50:00,759 Speaker 1: want to like be excused of being cho You're like, 939 00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:04,000 Speaker 1: let me just feel how I feel without a reason 940 00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:06,080 Speaker 1: for it. Yeah, this is who I am right now, 941 00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:08,000 Speaker 1: and it's not I'm not going to take this back. 942 00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:11,880 Speaker 1: I mean it. And she's not pretty, but she's real, 943 00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:15,239 Speaker 1: but she's really not she's real, but she's really like 944 00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:20,000 Speaker 1: she's not herself. She's really yeah, she's real, but she's 945 00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:23,319 Speaker 1: not herself. She's um like the devil kind of takes 946 00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:25,120 Speaker 1: over your body for a couple of days, and I 947 00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:27,319 Speaker 1: feel that's how I feel. I feel like something comes 948 00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:30,279 Speaker 1: into my body where I turn evil for about three days, 949 00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:34,520 Speaker 1: even to myself. I mean to myself, I mean to 950 00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:38,680 Speaker 1: other people, I'm grumpy. I'm so irritable to the point 951 00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:42,759 Speaker 1: where I'm like, what happened yesterday? Something happened yesterday? It 952 00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:45,840 Speaker 1: was like my birthday answer and my mom said something 953 00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:48,760 Speaker 1: and she said so, and I was like, oh, so 954 00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:51,200 Speaker 1: it's so, Mom, just say so, like why are you staying? 955 00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:53,720 Speaker 1: It look so? And then I was like, oh, Sally, 956 00:50:53,920 --> 00:50:58,239 Speaker 1: my periods coming. It turns me into a person that 957 00:50:58,320 --> 00:51:03,000 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not need to not be around anybody 958 00:51:03,239 --> 00:51:06,759 Speaker 1: who I love. At least I swear Jason plans his 959 00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:11,319 Speaker 1: trips around my period, because I've got emails that go 960 00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:18,759 Speaker 1: out to him from my app that you do. I 961 00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:21,880 Speaker 1: think sometimes you book trips around my period where you're like, 962 00:51:21,920 --> 00:51:29,680 Speaker 1: I am, hey, Jason, he just came back from workout 963 00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:31,920 Speaker 1: and happened to walk in at the time where I 964 00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:33,920 Speaker 1: was like, I think he planned trips aroout my period 965 00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:39,600 Speaker 1: and then he's like I heard that. I'm like, You're like, 966 00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:42,920 Speaker 1: but do you do? But do you? I like, so 967 00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:45,200 Speaker 1: right now, I'm like, at that time is coming, so 968 00:51:45,239 --> 00:51:47,080 Speaker 1: it storms are bruin and I'm just gonna let that 969 00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:54,319 Speaker 1: one go. Storms of bruins. Um, Okay, we're coming to 970 00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:57,799 Speaker 1: an end. But where where? Where can people find you? 971 00:51:57,840 --> 00:51:59,560 Speaker 1: What are you doing? What do you want people to 972 00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:02,879 Speaker 1: know about? Right now? I am honestly, I have never 973 00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:04,520 Speaker 1: worked so hard at something in my life as I 974 00:52:04,520 --> 00:52:06,680 Speaker 1: have with Spade and Sparrows. We are really trying to 975 00:52:06,719 --> 00:52:09,040 Speaker 1: get into retail right now and things are going really well. 976 00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:12,760 Speaker 1: So I just want everybody to follow Spade and Sparrows 977 00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:16,280 Speaker 1: on Instagram. We're one of the most followed wine brands 978 00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:20,560 Speaker 1: out there, which I'm like so proud of because it's again, 979 00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:24,080 Speaker 1: I just love a community. I love people coming together 980 00:52:24,120 --> 00:52:26,800 Speaker 1: and like, even if you don't drink wine. Um. Also 981 00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:30,120 Speaker 1: please if you struggle with addiction with alcohol, please don't 982 00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:33,880 Speaker 1: follow my page because um, I just don't like triggering anybody, 983 00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:38,480 Speaker 1: and I feel like people do get you know that way. Um, 984 00:52:38,600 --> 00:52:40,520 Speaker 1: But it's so I've just worked so hard at it 985 00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:42,600 Speaker 1: and it's so fun and I'm so proud of my team. 986 00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:45,960 Speaker 1: And um, we're just having really big conversations with like 987 00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:51,840 Speaker 1: Target when I got him obsessed with her little fluff face. 988 00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:55,840 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Um so Spade and Sparrows. Um also 989 00:52:55,960 --> 00:53:00,880 Speaker 1: do edit. We're always dropping new UM edits and launching 990 00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:03,120 Speaker 1: fun things. We did a Pride edit this or for 991 00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:05,600 Speaker 1: the month of June. We're still in dude, yeah for 992 00:53:05,760 --> 00:53:09,440 Speaker 1: June and that was so fun. And then also my 993 00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:13,520 Speaker 1: podcast off the Vine. Um, I just podcasting is one 994 00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:15,640 Speaker 1: of my favorite things to do, just because I love 995 00:53:15,719 --> 00:53:18,840 Speaker 1: genuine conversation and we don't do it enough with people, 996 00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:20,880 Speaker 1: and it just happens to be my job where I'm like, 997 00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:22,600 Speaker 1: I get to put my phone down and have such 998 00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:25,719 Speaker 1: a nice conversation with like you or someone that I 999 00:53:25,719 --> 00:53:27,840 Speaker 1: would never have a conversation with ever in my life. 1000 00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:29,560 Speaker 1: But I'm going to just like be in the moment. 1001 00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:32,520 Speaker 1: And um again, that Facebook group, I know you have 1002 00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:35,320 Speaker 1: a great Facebook group to a bunch of just amazing people. 1003 00:53:35,400 --> 00:53:39,440 Speaker 1: So um yeah, all those things, just a few things 1004 00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:44,560 Speaker 1: here and there. She's dabbling in, dabbling in a few things. Well, 1005 00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:46,719 Speaker 1: I just have to say I love you. I've loved 1006 00:53:46,760 --> 00:53:49,120 Speaker 1: you from the moment I met you when we were 1007 00:53:49,160 --> 00:53:52,880 Speaker 1: on the Bachelor together, and it's so cool, Like I 1008 00:53:52,960 --> 00:53:55,000 Speaker 1: always felt like I knew you were going to do 1009 00:53:55,080 --> 00:53:59,120 Speaker 1: so much, but I don't think I ever You were incredible, 1010 00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:03,440 Speaker 1: and I think that the more time goes by, the 1011 00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:06,759 Speaker 1: more you're like so in touch with yourself and who 1012 00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:09,040 Speaker 1: you are. And I think that's what makes you so 1013 00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:11,720 Speaker 1: special and that's why people love you and have continued 1014 00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:14,879 Speaker 1: to follow you. So UM, thank you for filling in 1015 00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:18,879 Speaker 1: and some one, and let me just say the same 1016 00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:21,000 Speaker 1: to you. When I met you, I'll never forget you 1017 00:54:21,040 --> 00:54:23,520 Speaker 1: had ugg boots and shorts. The next morning you were 1018 00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:25,680 Speaker 1: wearing ug boots and shorts and like a baseball like 1019 00:54:25,719 --> 00:54:28,440 Speaker 1: three quarter length tea, and I was like, she's so 1020 00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:30,520 Speaker 1: funny and cute and smart, and I just feel like 1021 00:54:30,560 --> 00:54:32,560 Speaker 1: we're going to be friends for a long time and 1022 00:54:32,600 --> 00:54:35,759 Speaker 1: we have been. And I'm so proud of you and 1023 00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:38,480 Speaker 1: just so happy for you, and I just love chatting 1024 00:54:38,480 --> 00:54:41,080 Speaker 1: with you. And thank you for having me fill in today. 1025 00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:44,359 Speaker 1: I it was an honor, truly. I love you so much. 1026 00:54:44,800 --> 00:55:02,239 Speaker 1: I love you all right. Thank you so much to 1027 00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:06,200 Speaker 1: Caitlin for filling in for Tanya, and UM also I 1028 00:55:06,239 --> 00:55:09,360 Speaker 1: wanted to talk about this and I forgot, but I 1029 00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:13,239 Speaker 1: did try to watch ships Creak again this week um 1030 00:55:13,239 --> 00:55:15,239 Speaker 1: while I was sick, and I want to talk about 1031 00:55:15,239 --> 00:55:17,840 Speaker 1: that with Tanya when she's back next week. And also 1032 00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:21,480 Speaker 1: we want to say thank you to the fabulous v 1033 00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:24,799 Speaker 1: I P partners from My Heart Radios Wango Tango the 1034 00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:30,160 Speaker 1: perfect gifts for summertime. 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Plus the perfect snack 1042 00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:04,040 Speaker 1: at your summer barbecues and parties, Mary's Gone Crackers and 1043 00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:07,640 Speaker 1: Rob's Backstage Popcorn. Rob is a longtime pal of the 1044 00:56:07,719 --> 00:56:11,320 Speaker 1: Jonas Brothers and they know good popcorn. We love you guys, 1045 00:56:11,360 --> 00:56:16,560 Speaker 1: have a great weekend. We will be back next Monday. Bye.