1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,680 Speaker 1: Welcome into Unbreakable, a Mental Wealth podcast with Jay Glazer. 2 00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:08,840 Speaker 1: I'm Jay Glazer and this is weekend motivation. You all 3 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:11,000 Speaker 1: know that I just came back to my wedding, obviously, 4 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:14,040 Speaker 1: tall I've talked about for quite some time, but I 5 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 1: want to share a story and experience with me that 6 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:21,599 Speaker 1: happened at the wedding that will really, I think, resonate 7 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:24,319 Speaker 1: with a lot of people here mental health wise. My 8 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: entire life, I have like been in this wrestling match 9 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:32,239 Speaker 1: with the universe. Now not the whole universe, let me 10 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,240 Speaker 1: explain her. I'm a big god guy. I'm a big 11 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 1: believer that the universe conspires to help us. But my 12 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 1: whole life, my depression told me that I was unworthy 13 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,280 Speaker 1: of being loved. So I was always under the impression 14 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:48,319 Speaker 1: that there's some magical monster or thing or force, some 15 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:51,160 Speaker 1: dark force against me that was always going to prevent 16 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:54,600 Speaker 1: me from having my dream come true, which was being 17 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 1: loved and having love. So I either sought out relationships 18 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:01,520 Speaker 1: I knew would end, or if relationships are going well, 19 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:06,440 Speaker 1: I would sabotage them, because when you're convinced that things 20 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:09,080 Speaker 1: are against you and it's going to end, a lot 21 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:13,600 Speaker 1: of times the question of when that's going to end 22 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:17,760 Speaker 1: is way more painful than an ending. And I've talked 23 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:21,360 Speaker 1: to some guys who've you know, athletes who had drug suspensions, 24 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,120 Speaker 1: who are about to come back from their drug suspension 25 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:25,440 Speaker 1: and they use again, and it's just they have this 26 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 1: unworthiness also thinkuring, well, man, it's gonna happen again, but 27 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:31,840 Speaker 1: I'm going to speed up the inevitable. I'm gonna do 28 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:34,440 Speaker 1: it again instead of just saying, hey, I'm worthy of 29 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:37,120 Speaker 1: these good things, so I'm going to just let this happen. 30 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:39,320 Speaker 1: And that the same thing that's happened with me in love. 31 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 1: But as a result, I've been in this wrestling match 32 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 1: for all these years, even like, God, Universe, why are 33 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:48,280 Speaker 1: you letting this other thing in the universe happened to 34 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:51,880 Speaker 1: me when I was the one happening to me. I 35 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:55,640 Speaker 1: want you to hear that the monster that was me, 36 00:01:56,880 --> 00:02:01,640 Speaker 1: I was the monster. I didn't believe in that I 37 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:05,440 Speaker 1: could actually find this love until I really truly started 38 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:08,240 Speaker 1: diving in and working on the root of what was 39 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:13,160 Speaker 1: causing that, and really working on myself and showing this 40 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:16,760 Speaker 1: different side of vulnerability that I started only a couple 41 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:20,160 Speaker 1: of years ago with everybody here. So I've had this 42 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:23,040 Speaker 1: for fifty four years of my life. You know it's 43 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:27,760 Speaker 1: crazy again. Turned out, Rosie and that wife had the 44 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:31,880 Speaker 1: exact same thing. She called it a monster, and she 45 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,760 Speaker 1: saw it in a dream when she was eight years old, 46 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:38,240 Speaker 1: that this monster grabbed her hand in this dream and 47 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:41,360 Speaker 1: told her she'll never find love. Now she's always going 48 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,720 Speaker 1: to be the monsters, and over time, every time something 49 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:50,000 Speaker 1: bad happened, she started believing that dream was a dream 50 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,000 Speaker 1: that was gonna come true. Instead, it became a self 51 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 1: fulfilled prophecy. So for all these years, Rosie's had that 52 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:59,679 Speaker 1: same monster thinking, no, she's never going to find love. 53 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:02,880 Speaker 1: One of the most beautiful women in the world inside 54 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:05,440 Speaker 1: and out convinced she'll never find love. So here we 55 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,040 Speaker 1: are a gang, two of us doing all this work 56 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:11,840 Speaker 1: to get to this point. And even the month leading 57 00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:16,520 Speaker 1: up to the wedding, I started sabotaging. I started giving 58 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:19,720 Speaker 1: that monster a little bit too much power, too much voice. 59 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:22,560 Speaker 1: And luckily now we know to turn to a therapist, 60 00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 1: which we did with a couple therapists to help us, 61 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,720 Speaker 1: going in to get me to see that I was 62 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:30,320 Speaker 1: sabotaging and to get Rosie and I talk about together 63 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,680 Speaker 1: and I needed some help through it also, and she did. 64 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:35,880 Speaker 1: She was a great partner with it. So gang here 65 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 1: we are, finally sitting up there, about to get married. 66 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 1: My bride walks to the edge of the grass to 67 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:46,320 Speaker 1: start making her walk. The moment that walk began, I 68 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,640 Speaker 1: just started crying. How did she and we compare this 69 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:53,160 Speaker 1: what our feelings were after At that moment, the two 70 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 1: of us felt like we had slayed the monster. You 71 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 1: don't understand what that feels like after fifty four years, 72 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:04,680 Speaker 1: feeling like some magical dark forces against you, to know 73 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:06,400 Speaker 1: that you put it to bed, you killed it, you 74 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:10,400 Speaker 1: slayed it. It's done, it's over. And we made that 75 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:13,320 Speaker 1: choice later on in life to find this teammate to 76 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:16,800 Speaker 1: walk this walk together with forever. But the two of 77 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,720 Speaker 1: us had that same exact thing. It was so liberating, 78 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 1: It was so great to celebrate with or not just 79 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,920 Speaker 1: our love, but to put that monster to bed. But 80 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:28,600 Speaker 1: now that we look back at it, we've actually been 81 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:33,360 Speaker 1: able to look and say, how much of that it coincidence? 82 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,480 Speaker 1: How much was somebody else, but how much of that 83 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:40,039 Speaker 1: was us? How much were weath the monster? Believe him 84 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:45,680 Speaker 1: something that's not true, But we give it life. And 85 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 1: had I been able to take this version of Jay 86 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,800 Speaker 1: Glazer and talk to the version of Jay Glazer and 87 00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:54,479 Speaker 1: his teens or twenties or thirties or forties whatever, and 88 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,040 Speaker 1: have this conversation, say, dude, it's not real, it's not real. 89 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,280 Speaker 1: You're making it real. You're giving it life. We got 90 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:04,000 Speaker 1: to work through this together. Anybody who thinks something's against 91 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 1: you for love, it's not. It's just you. And there's 92 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:10,360 Speaker 1: ways to get through it. You've got to do the work, 93 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:13,680 Speaker 1: you've got to dive in. But Gang, the Monster's dead. 94 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 1: And it was I would say the best moment of 95 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 1: my entire life. Now I get to go on live 96 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 1: life with someone who we have both been in a 97 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:27,680 Speaker 1: battle with together and our loves been able to grow. 98 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:31,279 Speaker 1: Hope this helps you. It's never too late to find love. 99 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:32,719 Speaker 1: Let's keep walking this walk together.