WEBVTT - Questlove Supreme: Billy Porter Part 2 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.040 Quests Love Supreme is a production of iHeartRadio. 0:00:05.400 --> 0:00:08.320 What y'all, it's Layah and we are so proud to 0:00:08.360 --> 0:00:11.440 present part two of our recent conversation with Billy Porter. 0:00:11.880 --> 0:00:12.680 Now, before we get to. 0:00:12.680 --> 0:00:15.319 Business, please make sure you caught part one because in 0:00:15.360 --> 0:00:18.760 that episode, Billy speaks about his early days in Pittsburgh, 0:00:19.079 --> 0:00:21.439 working to prove himself as a singer and an actor, 0:00:22.079 --> 0:00:24.520 and some of the deep hardships he's overcome. 0:00:25.440 --> 0:00:28.200 And this conversation is what QLs is all about. 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:31.760 It is passionate, knowledgeable, and relatable and we really hope 0:00:31.760 --> 0:00:32.599 that you enjoy it. 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:34.680 Oh and while you're at it, please give. 0:00:34.600 --> 0:00:37.400 QLs a rating or a review or follow and send 0:00:37.440 --> 0:00:42.480 to a friend, because without you, there is no US. 0:00:43.400 --> 0:00:47.680 No Seriously, if y'all don't listen, there will be no US. Okay, 0:00:47.720 --> 0:00:51.640 now seriously, back to Billy Porter. Make sure you mbo 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:54.520 bladders and get your tissues. It's about to get real. 0:01:01.880 --> 0:01:06.399 My question to you and hyper aware to not ask 0:01:06.480 --> 0:01:08.960 you basic questions that you get twenty four to seven. 0:01:11.840 --> 0:01:16.039 But I am curious because I understand that one of 0:01:16.040 --> 0:01:21.160 my biggest dismays of the developments in the last four 0:01:21.240 --> 0:01:25.280 to five years, especially in hip hop. It's just the 0:01:25.800 --> 0:01:29.040 rampant amount of ignorance, which really makes me the fool, 0:01:29.120 --> 0:01:33.400 because if I think about it, it was there all along. 0:01:33.560 --> 0:01:37.199 But I think I've allowed myself to open my eyes 0:01:37.240 --> 0:01:43.160 to really see just how immersed in ignorance and misinformation. 0:01:42.520 --> 0:01:48.720 That we are. And my question is, do you feel. 0:01:49.960 --> 0:01:57.320 As a rampant homophobic mistreatment from your own people, from 0:01:57.560 --> 0:02:02.200 people that are not your people? Do you see progress happening? 0:02:02.280 --> 0:02:05.520 Or am I just naive with rose colored glasses that I. 0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:09.000 Mean, if I'm being honest, the expansion has been so 0:02:09.320 --> 0:02:14.880 beautiful to watch, even inside of the pushback. 0:02:15.720 --> 0:02:17.840 You know, my phrase is the change has. 0:02:17.760 --> 0:02:22.120 Already happened, which is why the pushback is so severe. 0:02:22.320 --> 0:02:26.680 You know, I think that what we as humans fall 0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:34.040 in the trap of is not focusing on learning history, 0:02:34.960 --> 0:02:39.560 because history shows us exactly what's happening. 0:02:39.240 --> 0:02:41.800 Right now with this Trump stuff. 0:02:42.480 --> 0:02:45.880 Right history shows us that this is what it will be. 0:02:46.720 --> 0:02:48.720 And every time we're unprepared. 0:02:49.919 --> 0:02:53.840 So until we learn our history and we're prepared for 0:02:54.040 --> 0:02:56.640 these moments and we're not cut with our pants down, 0:02:56.960 --> 0:02:59.320 it's gonna be the same. You know, I don't know 0:02:59.360 --> 0:03:01.079 if you you know, if you read songa hes He 0:03:01.320 --> 0:03:04.000 Coaches book We were eight years in power. 0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:05.640 That one. 0:03:05.840 --> 0:03:10.840 He predicted this, and nobody wanted to listen, and nobody 0:03:10.880 --> 0:03:14.040 wanted to hear about it, and nobody wanted to talk about. 0:03:13.800 --> 0:03:16.839 It, not even myself. This came out. 0:03:17.280 --> 0:03:20.120 That book came out right at the top of the 0:03:20.160 --> 0:03:24.120 second Obama and he said beware in that book. The 0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:30.360 general part of it was beware because there are repercussions 0:03:30.360 --> 0:03:35.960 for this that we're not preparing ourselves for. You know, 0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:39.360 the press still doesn't even know how to cover. 0:03:39.160 --> 0:03:41.400 That bitch, Yes, we will worry. 0:03:41.520 --> 0:03:43.200 Still don't even know how to cover him. 0:03:43.240 --> 0:03:50.840 Eight years later, and these industries are still selling humanity 0:03:51.800 --> 0:03:52.960 down the river. 0:03:53.560 --> 0:03:57.119 For ratings, for ratings. 0:03:57.400 --> 0:04:00.720 Yeah, you don't know that bitch is a liar man. 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:05.160 People were fired at the beginning of his presidency. 0:04:05.480 --> 0:04:10.120 Journalists on television were fired for calling him a liar. 0:04:11.520 --> 0:04:14.000 Every time he opens up his mouth. He's a liar 0:04:14.720 --> 0:04:18.680 every single time. And so for me to stay positive 0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:22.320 and stay you know, it's like, well, what do we do, 0:04:24.160 --> 0:04:28.239 What do we do to make sure that we're engaged? 0:04:29.640 --> 0:04:32.880 What do we do to stay engaged? I don't even 0:04:33.040 --> 0:04:36.880 know how sometimes how to have the conversation with people 0:04:36.880 --> 0:04:41.159 who don't vote. I don't know how to have this conversation. 0:04:41.760 --> 0:04:46.120 You know, it's like it's disingenuous. And it's the way 0:04:46.160 --> 0:04:50.640 that this even now that it's covered, it's like the 0:04:50.800 --> 0:04:55.720 press covers this like it's. 0:04:56.000 --> 0:04:56.640 A game show. 0:04:57.680 --> 0:05:02.679 Yeah, like it's a you know, it's like you all 0:05:02.760 --> 0:05:06.240 know that this is not new. Why are you presenting 0:05:06.279 --> 0:05:09.800 this material like it's not like it's new. None of 0:05:09.839 --> 0:05:14.400 it is new. Slavery was abolished and Jim Crow happened. 0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:17.240 Yeah, and if certain things happen in November, we will 0:05:17.279 --> 0:05:18.479 never get that history again. 0:05:19.200 --> 0:05:21.880 It's fine, we're gonna get We're gonna get there. We're 0:05:21.880 --> 0:05:24.200 gonna get there. But my question is have we learned 0:05:24.200 --> 0:05:27.720 anything because we got a black president and we sat. 0:05:27.480 --> 0:05:30.839 On our assets for eight years and ain't bomb box 0:05:31.320 --> 0:05:34.320 to fix everything. What are we gonna do this time 0:05:34.360 --> 0:05:35.280 with this power? 0:05:35.880 --> 0:05:37.360 I think right now. 0:05:38.480 --> 0:05:41.880 Black people are in a place where they're so exhausted. 0:05:42.480 --> 0:05:45.160 There's a thing in the gym called Jacob's Ladder, which 0:05:45.160 --> 0:05:49.039 I hate the most. You know, five minutes on Jacob's Ladder, 0:05:49.040 --> 0:05:51.800 you're like out, I can't think you know one, And 0:05:51.839 --> 0:05:54.200 I feel like that's where we are right now, even 0:05:54.240 --> 0:05:57.000 if it's to the detriment of our freedom. 0:05:57.520 --> 0:05:59.120 And what do you think our and what do you 0:05:59.160 --> 0:06:00.520 think our answers yourself? 0:06:01.520 --> 0:06:02.120 Exactly? 0:06:02.360 --> 0:06:05.080 Who were living on the field? And what if I 0:06:05.080 --> 0:06:06.280 don't give a fuck? 0:06:06.440 --> 0:06:08.479 Right exactly, I don't give a fuck. 0:06:10.600 --> 0:06:14.520 Keep calling to stay here if you're so fucking exhausted. 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:17.240 Everybody's exhausted. 0:06:18.960 --> 0:06:20.800 I was exhausted. I was marching against the park tide 0:06:20.800 --> 0:06:22.880 at six years old. Make make Lukin Day a. 0:06:22.880 --> 0:06:25.839 Holiday, and ship it gonna continues. 0:06:26.480 --> 0:06:31.560 Till the day we die. Look at John fucking Lewis 0:06:32.920 --> 0:06:38.240 from his deathbed. He was working. How selfish that is. 0:06:38.800 --> 0:06:40.240 But I but I will say, Billy, you work a 0:06:40.279 --> 0:06:43.279 little harder than most. And I'm wondering, friend, when the 0:06:43.320 --> 0:06:46.240 rest does come? Because to a mirrest point, I do say, 0:06:47.680 --> 0:06:48.880 you be in the fight a lot. 0:06:50.240 --> 0:06:50.760 You be inough. 0:06:50.760 --> 0:06:51.400 Here's the thing. 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:55.000 I have a song called I Can't sing this song again, 0:06:56.520 --> 0:06:59.760 and it's in and it's in response to a change 0:06:59.800 --> 0:07:00.400 is going to come. 0:07:01.920 --> 0:07:04.480 And here's what I think the issue is. 0:07:04.480 --> 0:07:05.560 Is it an answer to that? 0:07:06.240 --> 0:07:08.760 Yes, I can't sing this song again. 0:07:09.960 --> 0:07:14.840 I'm debuting it at Nancy Pelosi's luncheon, and it starts 0:07:15.040 --> 0:07:18.320 with a little bit of a recording of A Change 0:07:18.360 --> 0:07:20.640 is Gonna Come, and then it's like and then it 0:07:20.680 --> 0:07:23.160 goes into this, A change. 0:07:22.960 --> 0:07:25.720 Is gonna come. And the rhetoric that. 0:07:25.560 --> 0:07:30.520 We've learned for all of these years has led us 0:07:30.560 --> 0:07:38.480 to believe that we wait your turn, and we arrive somewhere. 0:07:39.760 --> 0:07:45.880 We arrived somewhere, and it's over. That is the sentiment 0:07:46.760 --> 0:07:51.360 of that song. To me, that is the sentiment of 0:07:51.400 --> 0:07:55.000 the of the civil rights movement. I don't think that 0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:58.480 it was on purpose, but I know for myself and 0:07:58.800 --> 0:08:03.400 I talk about Obama, it's like, oh okay, civil rights, 0:08:03.440 --> 0:08:08.560 Oh okay, gay rights, okay, we win. You know, marriage equality, okay, 0:08:08.680 --> 0:08:12.400 we win. You know, abortion rights, okay, we win. It's 0:08:12.440 --> 0:08:15.880 like you don't arrivee and the I say fight. I 0:08:15.880 --> 0:08:21.800 wish there was another word for it. The expansion, the involvement, 0:08:22.360 --> 0:08:23.520 the engagement. 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:24.840 That's what I'm looking for. 0:08:26.160 --> 0:08:30.760 The engagement of the people can never wane. 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:37.360 So if we know that going in, if we know that. 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:42.640 It's a fight until we die, then we approach it differently. 0:08:43.480 --> 0:08:45.280 Then we go, okay, I need to take a. 0:08:45.240 --> 0:08:48.800 Break right now, Okay, self, care for myself and I 0:08:49.240 --> 0:08:51.640 and I'll come back and so that we can, you know, 0:08:51.720 --> 0:08:54.960 like like staggered breathing when you sang in the choir 0:08:55.320 --> 0:08:56.960 and you had to hold a note for a really 0:08:57.000 --> 0:08:59.679 long time, and some people take a break and some people, 0:08:59.720 --> 0:09:02.640 you know, it's like da, you know. And I think 0:09:02.720 --> 0:09:08.160 our messaging, the messaging for years at least for me, 0:09:08.600 --> 0:09:11.040 is what I'm finding and as I dissect it and 0:09:11.120 --> 0:09:15.280 try to figure out how like, oh, we think we arrived, 0:09:15.280 --> 0:09:16.520 so it never arrives. 0:09:16.840 --> 0:09:17.760 I'm guilty of that. 0:09:18.480 --> 0:09:22.960 You remember, like November of two thousand and eight, like 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:26.839 we were all singing our version of can you see 0:09:26.880 --> 0:09:27.600 a brand New Day? 0:09:27.679 --> 0:09:28.160 Or whatever? 0:09:30.080 --> 0:09:31.079 And that's okay. 0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:34.080 For a week, I actually felt like I arrived in 0:09:34.120 --> 0:09:39.280 this utopian What we are basically saying is like we 0:09:39.360 --> 0:09:43.280 would like to experience not what whiteness feels like, but 0:09:43.440 --> 0:09:47.800 just the feeling of that level of freedom. 0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:50.680 Freedom, faiety, safety. 0:09:51.240 --> 0:09:55.760 And then by year two, once the unarmed shooting period started, 0:09:55.800 --> 0:09:58.240 and then I was like, oh, fuck, this is this 0:09:58.360 --> 0:10:02.040 is going back to the seventies and now we're in 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:04.520 the forties, the eighteen forties. 0:10:05.320 --> 0:10:11.000 Because our founding fathers, who everybody likes to hold up 0:10:11.000 --> 0:10:15.720 on a pedestal so much. She she she's fucking racist 0:10:15.800 --> 0:10:19.679 slave owners who built this country. 0:10:20.320 --> 0:10:22.480 On that yes. 0:10:23.760 --> 0:10:30.040 Period, the caveats, you know, the thing that I've learned 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:33.640 recently and just looking at how it all goes, it's like, so, wait, 0:10:33.800 --> 0:10:38.080 you mean to tell me that there's no oversight for stotus. 0:10:38.920 --> 0:10:41.120 That's our purpose, that's on purpose. 0:10:41.760 --> 0:10:46.840 If you can find the easter eggs in these documents, 0:10:47.440 --> 0:10:53.040 white men, you will be able to be in power forever, 0:10:54.080 --> 0:10:58.040 minority or not. What do you mean there are no 0:10:58.240 --> 0:11:03.199 term limits? What do you mean there are no termlinits? 0:11:03.280 --> 0:11:06.600 That means that the same old white people can stay 0:11:06.720 --> 0:11:07.400 in offense? 0:11:07.679 --> 0:11:09.280 It's like, what do you mean? 0:11:09.920 --> 0:11:13.280 The peaceful transition of power is not a fucking law? 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:18.480 What are you talking about? 0:11:18.760 --> 0:11:22.880 It's just the unfolding and the unpealing of the It's like, 0:11:23.000 --> 0:11:24.000 so what is it? 0:11:24.120 --> 0:11:24.520 For real? 0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:27.720 And I think that's where we are and what I'm 0:11:27.880 --> 0:11:31.320 happy about and what I'm pleased about, you know, because 0:11:31.320 --> 0:11:34.000 of course when they go low, we go high, of course, 0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:39.640 and because I'm over there again, we have to figure 0:11:39.679 --> 0:11:43.120 out what going high looks like in this new world 0:11:43.240 --> 0:11:44.880 or that's what we have to do. 0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:48.360 And we have finally found it. And her name is 0:11:48.400 --> 0:11:50.920 fucking Kamala. That's her name. 0:11:51.559 --> 0:11:52.040 I want. 0:11:53.840 --> 0:11:56.880 How to be in the games that we're in, not 0:11:57.000 --> 0:11:59.200 the game that we wish it would be, not the 0:11:59.280 --> 0:12:02.000 game that it should be, but the game that we're in. 0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:06.079 We have to be in this and she is the 0:12:06.120 --> 0:12:10.440 person for the moment, for this moment. She has risen 0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:11.280 to the occasion. 0:12:11.559 --> 0:12:14.520 She knows how to clop that and not just because 0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:17.160 what she looks like, because of what she's done. 0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:20.079 Yes, she does, Yes. 0:12:20.360 --> 0:12:23.640 Has run rampant all over the world for eight fucking 0:12:23.720 --> 0:12:29.200 years because everybody so oh and bipartisan, and that's not 0:12:29.280 --> 0:12:30.079 how they're playing. 0:12:31.280 --> 0:12:33.080 That's not what they're playing. That's not the game. 0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:39.520 We haven't been in the game for eight years. 0:12:40.920 --> 0:12:42.880 So, Billy, how does it feel now that your voice 0:12:42.960 --> 0:12:45.320 matters to this whole other world in that way? You 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:47.520 said you're going to be at the DNC, You've been 0:12:47.520 --> 0:12:50.480 at the White House multiple times? You know what does 0:12:50.520 --> 0:12:55.079 it feel like to be this activist of sorts? Activists 0:12:55.080 --> 0:12:55.680 no sorts? 0:12:55.679 --> 0:12:56.600 My bad, I. 0:12:58.600 --> 0:13:02.280 Don't know anything else. Once again, I'm a black saget 0:13:02.320 --> 0:13:02.880 in America. 0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:06.880 I have to fight. I don't have a choice. And 0:13:06.920 --> 0:13:11.000 I have to fight against my own people half the time, half. 0:13:12.400 --> 0:13:14.680 Against my own people all the time. I don't know 0:13:14.679 --> 0:13:17.600 if you saw all that bullshit on June. 0:13:17.280 --> 0:13:20.160 Teenths what what happened? 0:13:21.240 --> 0:13:23.320 So I was at the White House on June teenth 0:13:23.320 --> 0:13:26.719 in the morning, right, and you know, on the dais 0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:34.320 talking about solutions at the White House, right, inviting, right, 0:13:35.520 --> 0:13:37.160 go to the Juneteenth concert. 0:13:38.080 --> 0:13:39.680 I show up. I'm on the front row. 0:13:41.320 --> 0:13:48.040 It's me, the second gentleman, the vice president, the president, 0:13:48.440 --> 0:13:48.959 front row. 0:13:49.600 --> 0:13:53.880 M The next day they start dragging Joe. 0:13:54.640 --> 0:13:57.439 He's losing his mind because he was There was a 0:13:57.480 --> 0:14:01.840 picture caught of him like, oh yeah. 0:14:00.600 --> 0:14:02.360 He was listening to Patti LaBelle. 0:14:03.679 --> 0:14:07.360 He was watching Patty Labelle's sing a song and she 0:14:07.520 --> 0:14:10.319 hid a note and held it like she was twenty 0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:15.240 years old. And the whole audience was like, right, that's 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:19.320 the fucking picture you saw. That's how they've been dragging him. 0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:20.440 There's nothing wrong. 0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:21.960 With him, have them knowing said that? 0:14:22.680 --> 0:14:28.760 I remember, Oh, and yes, but he's not, you know, 0:14:28.960 --> 0:14:30.560 just like when he was trailing off. 0:14:30.960 --> 0:14:32.560 Remember when he was trailing. 0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:34.640 Off and they were like right, and then. 0:14:35.000 --> 0:14:38.200 Camera and he's talking to twenty mapel over there, right, 0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:44.400 Now the press has done this to the world for 0:14:44.600 --> 0:14:45.720 their ratings. 0:14:46.600 --> 0:14:49.200 So the next photo that I see coming up on 0:14:49.240 --> 0:14:53.440 my feet is me greeting the president by kissing his 0:14:53.520 --> 0:14:59.000 hand across the second gentleman across the Now they run 0:14:59.040 --> 0:15:03.120 that photo mm hmm with me next to a drawing 0:15:04.280 --> 0:15:10.520 of a slave kissing Abraham Lincoln's boom. 0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:13.720 That's oh title. Oh I guess we're in a Jordan 0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:14.760 Peele movie. Now. 0:15:16.080 --> 0:15:17.960 Now when you say they, you're saying the black prints. 0:15:17.960 --> 0:15:22.320 You're saying, yes, somebody black did it, Okay. 0:15:22.040 --> 0:15:23.600 But you know we're not a monoligue movie. 0:15:24.200 --> 0:15:26.160 No I know, no, no, no, no, that's what I'm saying. 0:15:26.200 --> 0:15:29.520 Some black people, not everybody. But I have to fight 0:15:29.800 --> 0:15:31.120 that side a lot. 0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:34.000 And what I said, and I looked at it, and 0:15:34.040 --> 0:15:36.520 you know, my motto is, I do not now, nor 0:15:36.520 --> 0:15:39.720 will I ever adjudicate my life for humanity and sound 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:41.280 bites on social media. 0:15:41.960 --> 0:15:45.040 I will never do it. There is no response to 0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:46.000 shit like that for me. 0:15:46.360 --> 0:15:49.280 However, as I was dissecting it, I'm like, so, what 0:15:49.320 --> 0:15:52.680 are you saying? What are y'all trying to say? 0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:54.200 Because at the. 0:15:54.200 --> 0:15:57.440 Time that this photo was that this drawing was drawn, 0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:03.960 the president at that time freed the slaves. We didn't 0:16:03.960 --> 0:16:09.080 have the three hundred years later. In that moment, he 0:16:09.280 --> 0:16:14.080 was thinking the man who freed him, oh, in that drunk, 0:16:15.120 --> 0:16:18.800 just as I was thinking, the man who we dragged 0:16:18.800 --> 0:16:23.560 out of retirement to save democracy. I will kiss that 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:26.520 white man's hand until I go to the goddamn grave. 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:30.240 What are you saying? What are y'all saying? 0:16:31.120 --> 0:16:33.440 Who cares? I actually lost in the room. 0:16:33.680 --> 0:16:36.480 Talking about solutions at the White House, and y'all over 0:16:36.480 --> 0:16:37.880 here clowning on the internet. 0:16:38.160 --> 0:16:39.360 That's the fucking. 0:16:39.080 --> 0:16:42.800 Problem, man, that's just static though it is. 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:47.080 But what but but what's really happening which no one 0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:48.280 will talk about but me. 0:16:50.160 --> 0:16:52.400 Is I was also in a multi colored caf taine 0:16:53.400 --> 0:16:57.040 address on the front row. 0:16:57.480 --> 0:17:03.920 Okay, okay, I'm a black, embarrassing faggot, That's who I am. 0:17:04.560 --> 0:17:07.240 So you're not. So it's actually not about that at all. 0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:09.520 No, No, you're about. 0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:12.200 I was never supposed to be elevated to the highest 0:17:12.280 --> 0:17:15.960 levels like that, Right, I'm supposed to stay silent in 0:17:16.000 --> 0:17:17.040 a closet somewhere. 0:17:18.160 --> 0:17:21.360 But it's certain things that we really know in our community, right, 0:17:21.680 --> 0:17:22.639 and others don't. 0:17:23.240 --> 0:17:24.600 And so my whole life. 0:17:25.680 --> 0:17:30.640 Yeah, it's my whole life. People with my family at 0:17:30.640 --> 0:17:34.800 the time, not anymore, but like you know, my community, 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:37.520 they would rather be a serial killer than a fact 0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:39.600 that's more acceptable. 0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:43.720 How were you able to reach your family in terms 0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:49.680 of I left, Oh. 0:17:48.760 --> 0:17:54.520 I left and they came back the mischief, I left. 0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:56.120 And they come back because you made it or did 0:17:56.160 --> 0:17:57.880 they come back because like some of. 0:17:57.840 --> 0:18:00.399 Them, some of them was before that. A lot of 0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:04.600 them were before that. My family was before that. You know, 0:18:04.840 --> 0:18:08.200 the church community that I grew up with, it. 0:18:08.240 --> 0:18:08.960 Was post same. 0:18:11.280 --> 0:18:16.199 I'm like, you're so transparent, you know, but it's you know, 0:18:16.240 --> 0:18:19.240 it's also interesting to talking about a certain group of 0:18:19.280 --> 0:18:19.800 black people. 0:18:20.000 --> 0:18:22.560 So during the George Floyd and. 0:18:22.520 --> 0:18:26.520 All of that stuff, you know, I got on line 0:18:26.520 --> 0:18:30.960 because here we were marching m and then I turned 0:18:31.000 --> 0:18:34.200 on my social media and a bunch of black people 0:18:34.200 --> 0:18:37.520 are beating up a trans girls in the seven eleven. 0:18:38.440 --> 0:18:40.720 You want to know why we don't have rights? This 0:18:40.760 --> 0:18:43.640 is why we don't have our rights. Until we do 0:18:43.880 --> 0:18:49.800 right by everybody, we will have nothing. Nobody's free till 0:18:49.800 --> 0:18:50.679 we're all free. 0:18:50.960 --> 0:18:54.080 Fuck y'all. You want to know why this is? 0:18:54.160 --> 0:18:56.240 Why do you think that that's something that should be 0:18:56.280 --> 0:18:58.280 handled within our community or do you think that. 0:19:00.160 --> 0:19:00.640 I do too? 0:19:01.160 --> 0:19:04.320 And I'm the one who's saying that, and they dragged 0:19:04.359 --> 0:19:07.280 me to hell for it. I don't give a fuck. 0:19:08.400 --> 0:19:12.480 It's the truth. Mind your own damn business if you 0:19:12.520 --> 0:19:13.080 don't like it. 0:19:13.520 --> 0:19:15.600 You never had no fear of telling your truth? 0:19:16.280 --> 0:19:18.320 Have you always been this out loud? Which which the 0:19:18.320 --> 0:19:22.360 way you feel? It's my mother even I'm talking about TV, 0:19:22.560 --> 0:19:24.080 because you know when you go to Hollywood, and I mean, 0:19:24.080 --> 0:19:25.320 I tease me about it, but. 0:19:26.280 --> 0:19:31.320 My mother was like that, there are consequences, Yes, there 0:19:31.320 --> 0:19:32.440 are consequences. 0:19:32.920 --> 0:19:37.119 I suffer consequences. You know. It's like they've let the 0:19:37.200 --> 0:19:41.200 queens in. They've let us in a little bit. 0:19:41.920 --> 0:19:42.280 M hmm. 0:19:42.720 --> 0:19:46.320 But the ones who are getting Marvel movies and shit 0:19:46.480 --> 0:19:47.080 don't talk. 0:19:47.600 --> 0:19:50.040 You're in Ryan Murphy world. So even that in itself 0:19:50.320 --> 0:19:52.560 is beautiful. But he's an out louder certain in his 0:19:52.720 --> 0:19:53.200 own way. 0:19:53.320 --> 0:19:55.040 So he's also a white man. 0:19:56.320 --> 0:19:59.639 I love him, Billy, And you know that straight people, 0:20:00.000 --> 0:20:03.040 do you not understand the happenings and the goings ons 0:20:03.240 --> 0:20:06.080 and the queer world with race in that way? Like 0:20:06.119 --> 0:20:08.080 you even saying that out loud people are like. 0:20:08.080 --> 0:20:10.200 They they're good. He gave you gay is good. 0:20:10.440 --> 0:20:12.400 You know, it's different. 0:20:12.720 --> 0:20:13.320 It's different. 0:20:13.760 --> 0:20:14.320 It's different. 0:20:14.400 --> 0:20:18.960 And I and you know, stand for something or you'll 0:20:19.040 --> 0:20:20.040 fall for anything. 0:20:20.640 --> 0:20:20.879 M h. 0:20:21.880 --> 0:20:27.000 I will go to my grades standing for the things 0:20:27.040 --> 0:20:31.520 that I believe in, even if that means whatever that 0:20:31.560 --> 0:20:37.000 means for my career, whatever it means, because it's more 0:20:37.040 --> 0:20:39.640 important for me to do that. 0:20:41.000 --> 0:20:43.600 I'm a human being first, and I. 0:20:43.600 --> 0:20:47.080 Engage in the world as a human being, and you 0:20:47.119 --> 0:20:49.560 will respect me as a human being or get the fuck. 0:20:49.400 --> 0:20:51.200 Out of my way, yo. 0:20:51.280 --> 0:20:53.840 Talk Can you talk about real quick? When you were 0:20:53.920 --> 0:20:56.159 asked to be in the Little Richard Project? I am 0:20:56.200 --> 0:20:59.199 everything in the first what you felt and what you 0:20:59.200 --> 0:21:00.640 saw when you saw, what you felt when you saw 0:21:00.680 --> 0:21:03.879 the finished product. Because as you're speaking, I'm thinking of 0:21:03.960 --> 0:21:06.400 him and I'm just it's not a lot of people 0:21:06.400 --> 0:21:08.600 who can live out loud and chose to live out 0:21:08.600 --> 0:21:11.160 loud and then came back and it's a choice. 0:21:11.560 --> 0:21:14.719 Yeah, And like I said, there are consequences that come 0:21:14.760 --> 0:21:20.920 along with it, y'all. There are you know there are. 0:21:21.240 --> 0:21:27.760 It's okay, okay, I'm not changing. I've never changed. 0:21:28.040 --> 0:21:29.840 Can we still get our James Waltwin? Can we say, 0:21:30.119 --> 0:21:32.040 of course, okay, thank you, Okay. 0:21:31.960 --> 0:21:35.120 Of course, you know, but we got to get a greenlet. Okay. 0:21:35.240 --> 0:21:37.360 You know, there's a whole world right now. 0:21:37.520 --> 0:21:41.080 It's like all of the fallout from the strike. 0:21:42.080 --> 0:21:45.600 Yeah, you know, we're forty four, forty six. 0:21:45.440 --> 0:21:50.480 Percent back, forty six maybe forty six percent back, you know. 0:21:50.680 --> 0:21:54.199 And I breathed rarefied there. Don't think I don't know that. 0:21:55.240 --> 0:21:57.960 You know, film and television has dried up a bit 0:21:58.000 --> 0:22:01.399 for me in this moment, a bit, not completely, but 0:22:01.560 --> 0:22:01.920 a bit. 0:22:03.240 --> 0:22:05.320 I get to go and be in a broadma show. 0:22:05.640 --> 0:22:06.560 Who gets to do that? 0:22:07.520 --> 0:22:11.639 Y'all want to clown and call it me corny, But 0:22:11.760 --> 0:22:15.880 I get to still work in the business that I 0:22:15.960 --> 0:22:20.520 love because of this multi hyphenated human being that I 0:22:20.560 --> 0:22:21.119 am so like. 0:22:22.800 --> 0:22:26.359 I don't know. I feel for. 0:22:26.280 --> 0:22:31.160 The first time in a long time that I can 0:22:31.240 --> 0:22:31.840 take a breath. 0:22:32.440 --> 0:22:33.760 Reez, you deserve it. 0:22:34.600 --> 0:22:38.280 And are you scared to take a breath because I 0:22:38.400 --> 0:22:40.800 know that you feel you have to be on guard? 0:22:40.920 --> 0:22:45.240 Twenty four seven? Yeah, what is taking a breath? I 0:22:45.760 --> 0:22:47.800 never believed in vacations until. 0:22:48.000 --> 0:22:53.360 Vacation last year. Fifty you here, fifty. 0:22:52.640 --> 0:22:56.960 I took a vacation in twenty fifteen. I did, No, 0:22:57.040 --> 0:22:57.320 I did. 0:22:57.680 --> 0:22:59.840 It wasn't a wedding, you weren't, Okay. 0:23:00.640 --> 0:23:08.840 I never took a vacation either, vacation naps, Yes, I 0:23:09.080 --> 0:23:10.879 never took naps. Shout out. 0:23:11.080 --> 0:23:13.920 If I get to a place where it's too much, 0:23:14.359 --> 0:23:18.560 I'll lay right in my bed for two hours, like. 0:23:18.560 --> 0:23:20.240 I got to check out. You know. 0:23:20.440 --> 0:23:24.919 That's self care for me. I do my morning pages 0:23:24.960 --> 0:23:25.960 pretty much every. 0:23:25.720 --> 0:23:29.960 Morning, affirmations or well you write. 0:23:31.200 --> 0:23:34.720 Yeah, it comes from a book called the Artist's Way. 0:23:33.760 --> 0:23:40.120 I know, well, artists Way Way, and and I did 0:23:40.160 --> 0:23:41.840 it thirty years ago, and I've been doing it every 0:23:41.880 --> 0:23:44.160 ten years to just sort of research on myself. 0:23:44.840 --> 0:23:48.400 And I do those artists pages and that's my that's 0:23:48.440 --> 0:23:52.280 my daily meditation because they're supposed to be blurts essentially, 0:23:52.320 --> 0:23:53.320 you're just supposed to write. 0:23:53.160 --> 0:23:53.800 A long hand. 0:23:54.200 --> 0:23:56.000 But I've been doing it so long that I type 0:23:56.000 --> 0:24:00.439 them now. But it's like got to meditate for me 0:24:00.480 --> 0:24:02.119 in the morning. And I always feel better when I 0:24:03.080 --> 0:24:09.080 when I do that. Since Mom passed, I am trying 0:24:09.119 --> 0:24:13.720 my hand at Buddhism. Okay, I haven't been able to 0:24:13.840 --> 0:24:17.400 find a consistency in it yet, but my heart is there. 0:24:18.119 --> 0:24:19.680 And so I'm working towards it. 0:24:20.240 --> 0:24:24.840 I'm also meditating, you know, when I feel overwhelmed, I'll 0:24:24.880 --> 0:24:29.080 just sit down and breathe and medicine and it's it's useful. 0:24:29.280 --> 0:24:30.040 It's helpful. 0:24:30.960 --> 0:24:31.879 Was that really poortant? 0:24:31.920 --> 0:24:32.320 All right? 0:24:32.960 --> 0:24:33.200 Yeah? 0:24:33.359 --> 0:24:39.240 No, you know, because I can't sanity's importance. I can't 0:24:39.240 --> 0:24:42.520 be of use if I'm insane. Yeah, And I was 0:24:42.520 --> 0:24:44.760 put on this planet to be of use. I want 0:24:44.800 --> 0:24:48.960 to continue to be of use. And like you said, 0:24:49.080 --> 0:24:52.320 the activist part I am. You know, I came out 0:24:52.320 --> 0:24:55.160 in nineteen eighty five. We went straight to the front 0:24:55.160 --> 0:24:57.440 lines to fight for our lives during the age crisis. 0:24:57.560 --> 0:25:00.760 I don't know anything else. I don't know anything else. 0:25:00.840 --> 0:25:01.800 Can you pause here and it? 0:25:01.800 --> 0:25:01.919 Can? 0:25:01.960 --> 0:25:03.919 I just tell you I appreciate your truth in that, 0:25:04.280 --> 0:25:06.320 and I just want to tell you also, I was 0:25:06.400 --> 0:25:08.320 very excited to talk to you for all the reasons because, 0:25:08.320 --> 0:25:10.640 like I said, all the things I've watched you, I've 0:25:10.640 --> 0:25:13.800 listened and everything. But most importantly, I was excited to 0:25:13.800 --> 0:25:15.680 talk to you because you live in your truth about 0:25:16.000 --> 0:25:21.600 status and somebody very important to me has been living 0:25:21.760 --> 0:25:25.439 with this for twenty five thirty years, successfully beautifully living 0:25:25.480 --> 0:25:27.480 life out loud, and I can't wait for her to 0:25:28.119 --> 0:25:31.439 tell the world. But you, my friend, I was just 0:25:31.520 --> 0:25:33.439 in marvel of you living your truth and saying that 0:25:33.440 --> 0:25:35.720 out loud, and I can't wait, like I can't wait 0:25:35.760 --> 0:25:37.239 for her to do the same thing. But I just 0:25:37.440 --> 0:25:41.120 I want to thank you for that, because Billy, Billy. 0:25:40.840 --> 0:25:41.440 You're welcome. 0:25:42.040 --> 0:25:44.200 The thing about this business and the thing that I'm 0:25:44.200 --> 0:25:48.359 also grateful for that it took so long, right, Why 0:25:48.480 --> 0:25:49.440 is it take it so long? 0:25:49.840 --> 0:25:51.880 It took so long because I had to be ready. 0:25:53.280 --> 0:25:55.520 It took so long because I had to live a 0:25:55.600 --> 0:26:00.159 life where I could shoulder all of this stuff that 0:26:00.200 --> 0:26:05.679 I need to shoulder. I know what I represent, I 0:26:05.960 --> 0:26:10.000 know why I'm here. I can't do what I do 0:26:10.200 --> 0:26:13.760 unless I know it. You know, I was watching Oprah 0:26:13.760 --> 0:26:16.240 at one point a long time ago. I don't know 0:26:16.240 --> 0:26:19.680 if y'all remember, but like one year after about ten 0:26:19.760 --> 0:26:23.080 or twelve years or something, maybe fifteen, she came on 0:26:23.840 --> 0:26:25.800 and she said, I'm not doing any of that shop 0:26:25.880 --> 0:26:27.280 talk anymore. 0:26:27.359 --> 0:26:28.000 She didn't, and. 0:26:28.000 --> 0:26:32.199 Something dropped and she said, live your best life, and 0:26:32.280 --> 0:26:37.440 she turned into that person. You have to know what 0:26:37.480 --> 0:26:39.879 the purpose is so that you can sit in the 0:26:39.920 --> 0:26:40.679 fullness of it. 0:26:41.080 --> 0:26:43.080 I know what my power is, I know what my 0:26:43.080 --> 0:26:44.160 purpose is, and. 0:26:44.119 --> 0:26:48.679 I'm just grateful now that people are finally understanding it 0:26:48.760 --> 0:26:53.159 and seeing it. I had to come out as HIV 0:26:53.280 --> 0:26:55.720 positive to the world because I had to take the 0:26:55.840 --> 0:26:59.080 power away from the gotcha, gotcha press. 0:26:59.480 --> 0:27:02.960 Nobody had anything on me because I said it first. 0:27:04.080 --> 0:27:04.520 Now what. 0:27:06.240 --> 0:27:10.040 Right, This is a conversation I've been waiting for. Yes, yes, yes, 0:27:10.200 --> 0:27:11.280 I said it first. 0:27:11.520 --> 0:27:11.800 Yes. 0:27:12.480 --> 0:27:16.440 So there's no there's full transparency with me. 0:27:18.000 --> 0:27:23.320 And my life on purpose because people need to see 0:27:23.880 --> 0:27:31.040 all of it, the successes, the disappointments, the failures, the flaws, 0:27:31.280 --> 0:27:35.720 all of it. Jesus was not perfect. You know, we 0:27:35.840 --> 0:27:40.040 make dities out of people. We forget these people were human. 0:27:40.080 --> 0:27:46.440 Martin Luther King Jr. Was human. He cheated on his wife. 0:27:46.080 --> 0:27:48.680 Like a lot of men do. He is not a dity. 0:27:49.359 --> 0:27:50.680 He was a human being. 0:27:51.040 --> 0:27:54.879 That's what makes it better, because we're all human, and 0:27:54.920 --> 0:27:57.840 so when you can relate to somebody's humanity, then you 0:27:57.880 --> 0:28:01.480 can see, Oh, it's not over because I made it. 0:28:01.480 --> 0:28:04.840 It's not over because this didn't work out. I keep going, 0:28:05.280 --> 0:28:08.560 that person kept going, Yeah, you know, that's why I 0:28:08.600 --> 0:28:11.080 throw my hands up at the house. Yeah, I throw 0:28:11.160 --> 0:28:13.800 my hands up with my friends. I called my sister 0:28:13.840 --> 0:28:16.680 screaming and cried. You know, I don't throw my hands 0:28:16.760 --> 0:28:21.000 up for real, right, you know, Like that's the self 0:28:21.040 --> 0:28:24.760 care part too. The care part is me being able 0:28:24.760 --> 0:28:26.800 to call my sister and throw a fucking temper potential. 0:28:26.960 --> 0:28:30.520 Hell yeah, are you know, in the sense of the community, 0:28:30.560 --> 0:28:31.440 do you have a lot of kids? 0:28:31.440 --> 0:28:37.000 I feel like, well, I'm just gonna ask, like, are 0:28:37.040 --> 0:28:42.479 you fighting this battle isolated or do you have a 0:28:42.520 --> 0:28:46.600 community of people that you have in your corner or is. 0:28:46.560 --> 0:28:48.960 It there is a community that I'm a part of. 0:28:49.080 --> 0:28:52.200 And I'm so grateful before I talk about Broadway Cares, 0:28:52.240 --> 0:28:56.080 Equity Fights AIDS, you know, they they they were birthed 0:28:57.120 --> 0:29:00.440 out of the age crisis, and when I moved to 0:29:00.440 --> 0:29:04.280 New York City in nineteen ninety, they were just beginning 0:29:05.160 --> 0:29:08.800 and they taught an entire generation of us, a theater 0:29:08.880 --> 0:29:13.040 artist in particular, how to activate, you know. And so 0:29:13.240 --> 0:29:16.880 I've been a part of that community since I got here, 0:29:17.360 --> 0:29:19.280 and it's a large, far. 0:29:19.160 --> 0:29:22.240 Reaching activist community. 0:29:23.400 --> 0:29:26.480 So that's where I started, and I've picked up a 0:29:26.480 --> 0:29:27.960 lot of different people along the way. 0:29:28.640 --> 0:29:33.680 I have to be cognizant to not isolate. 0:29:34.600 --> 0:29:38.240 Okay, do you tend to shut down and shut in 0:29:38.360 --> 0:29:40.280 and I'm. 0:29:39.920 --> 0:29:40.960 Going through something. 0:29:41.400 --> 0:29:44.760 If I'm having a you know, a problem or an 0:29:44.800 --> 0:29:48.720 issue or you know, I will isolate, you know, like 0:29:48.880 --> 0:29:51.080 even with my mom passing in February. 0:29:51.760 --> 0:29:54.600 You know, it's like my friends. 0:29:54.360 --> 0:29:57.960 Are finally like, girl, come outside. 0:29:58.280 --> 0:30:02.160 Why haven't you come outside? Why haven't you called? 0:30:03.240 --> 0:30:05.200 You know, they call and chucking me. They're like, we 0:30:05.320 --> 0:30:06.320 know you're isolating. 0:30:06.480 --> 0:30:10.160 Come out, come out, come out, you know, because I 0:30:10.200 --> 0:30:12.000 get in a place where I feel like I don't 0:30:12.040 --> 0:30:16.920 want to be a burden. And so much of my 0:30:17.960 --> 0:30:21.720 trauma and what I deal with in my life has 0:30:21.800 --> 0:30:26.960 existed for so long and I continue to work through 0:30:27.000 --> 0:30:29.400 it and I continue to become a better person. But 0:30:29.440 --> 0:30:31.600 I feel like sometimes the people who've been in my 0:30:31.680 --> 0:30:34.280 life for thirty years plus, I'm. 0:30:34.080 --> 0:30:36.040 Like, y'all are tired of it. Yeah, I feel like 0:30:36.840 --> 0:30:40.040 y'all are tired of it. You know, I would never 0:30:40.120 --> 0:30:40.880 be tired of it. 0:30:40.960 --> 0:30:43.360 So I don't understand why I put that on other people, 0:30:43.880 --> 0:30:46.360 but like they have to be tired of this now. 0:30:46.320 --> 0:30:46.520 You know. 0:30:47.160 --> 0:30:49.120 So I have to work on that, you know, I 0:30:49.160 --> 0:30:53.040 have to work on like making sure that I reach 0:30:53.080 --> 0:30:56.760 out when I don't feel good and ask for help 0:30:57.040 --> 0:30:59.040 when I don't feel great. 0:30:59.200 --> 0:31:00.560 I have to do that on my own. 0:31:00.680 --> 0:31:02.480 You have to let others pour into you, because you 0:31:02.520 --> 0:31:07.960 are always pouring into others. 0:31:06.520 --> 0:31:10.520 During COVID, my trauma therapist, you know, because I suffered, 0:31:10.960 --> 0:31:13.080 you know, sexual abuse at the hands of my stepfather 0:31:13.960 --> 0:31:15.480 from the time I was seven to the time I 0:31:15.520 --> 0:31:17.360 was twelve. It's in the book I talked about, you know, 0:31:17.440 --> 0:31:19.520 like there's a lot of trauma. Lot, there's a lot, 0:31:19.600 --> 0:31:22.120 a lot of trauma. And you know, I say, the 0:31:22.160 --> 0:31:27.320 world stopped so that I could begin a real journey 0:31:27.800 --> 0:31:32.320 towards healing my trauma. And the first thing that my 0:31:33.400 --> 0:31:36.280 trauma therapist and I and I have to say, you know, 0:31:36.320 --> 0:31:41.880 the mental health profession and what and the strides and 0:31:42.040 --> 0:31:45.680 what is available for us to deal with our mental 0:31:45.680 --> 0:31:46.840 health blows my mind. 0:31:47.080 --> 0:31:48.040 It blows my mind. 0:31:48.400 --> 0:31:52.240 And she said, your biggest problem is that you have 0:31:52.360 --> 0:31:55.360 no self compassion. 0:31:56.000 --> 0:31:58.160 But everybody else that's a lot of us. 0:31:58.600 --> 0:32:02.680 Yes, that's the truth. That's the first three months, Oh 0:32:02.720 --> 0:32:04.400 God of work. 0:32:04.520 --> 0:32:07.080 I did four hours a week for about two years. 0:32:07.680 --> 0:32:10.560 It went down to two hours at about a year 0:32:10.560 --> 0:32:13.520 and three months. But the first thing she said was 0:32:13.640 --> 0:32:17.560 you have no self compassion and we have to work, 0:32:17.720 --> 0:32:18.960 I mean exercises. 0:32:19.160 --> 0:32:22.719 I had to listen to people talk about self compassion. 0:32:22.120 --> 0:32:24.400 In by ear and I have to go back to 0:32:24.440 --> 0:32:27.480 it even now today I have to remind myself, Oh, 0:32:27.520 --> 0:32:30.040 that's my non self compassion person talking. 0:32:35.560 --> 0:32:37.080 So this is what I want to know, because this 0:32:37.120 --> 0:32:40.200 is the question I asked myself. You know in twenty 0:32:40.240 --> 0:32:44.640 twenty one when Biden came into office and with the 0:32:44.760 --> 0:32:49.480 quick fast that you know, you saw how vigilant and 0:32:50.360 --> 0:32:54.960 fast the government was to respond to the global health 0:32:55.040 --> 0:32:57.040 crisis in a second. 0:32:57.640 --> 0:33:00.200 And when the numbers went down. 0:33:00.920 --> 0:33:03.600 I was thinking to myself, I'm like, wow, Like, why 0:33:03.600 --> 0:33:07.560 didn't this happened in the eighties when HIV was was 0:33:07.560 --> 0:33:07.960 was killed. 0:33:08.000 --> 0:33:10.440 Of course, I know what the answer is. I want 0:33:10.440 --> 0:33:11.360 to ask you. 0:33:11.200 --> 0:33:16.520 And it didn't happen with the last administration. Reagan and 0:33:16.600 --> 0:33:18.040 Trump are the same person. 0:33:18.720 --> 0:33:19.160 I get it. 0:33:19.280 --> 0:33:21.920 Reagan had a better suit and knew not to say 0:33:21.960 --> 0:33:26.640 the quiet part out loud. Sorry, sorry, Nicole Wallace. And 0:33:26.680 --> 0:33:28.720 when I see you, I'm gonna talk to you about that. 0:33:29.440 --> 0:33:34.479 Sorry, And she will take me your worshiping of Reagan. Sorry, 0:33:34.600 --> 0:33:41.000 David Jolly, sorry, yes, nobody, but y'all he wasn't good 0:33:41.040 --> 0:33:45.720 for nobody, But y'all, my people. 0:33:45.880 --> 0:33:49.160 Where are we now in terms of our relationship with 0:33:49.680 --> 0:33:54.640 HIV with the fight against the virus spreading? 0:33:55.040 --> 0:33:55.760 Like in terms of. 0:33:56.040 --> 0:33:57.200 HIV is manageable? 0:33:58.760 --> 0:34:03.280 The medication I take makes my T cells about one 0:34:03.360 --> 0:34:07.640 hundred to two hundred points higher than any of you. 0:34:07.640 --> 0:34:10.120 You're non detective, undetectable. 0:34:09.719 --> 0:34:12.720 Undetectable, but like, my T cell count is so high, 0:34:12.840 --> 0:34:14.640 I'm like the bionic man. 0:34:15.560 --> 0:34:17.040 Oh that's the shit. They ain't got a commercial for it. 0:34:17.080 --> 0:34:18.600 In Billy. That's something I ain't got a commercial. 0:34:18.680 --> 0:34:20.520 I've been trying to get a commercial for these. 0:34:20.480 --> 0:34:23.400 Those HIV mens usually have crazy side effects, like so 0:34:23.480 --> 0:34:25.560 now you got to be on a high cholesterol medicine 0:34:25.719 --> 0:34:29.000 or diabetes or yes, and you know. 0:34:29.200 --> 0:34:31.760 I literally just went on cholesterol. 0:34:32.640 --> 0:34:37.720 Medication to low dose because it's now recommended for people 0:34:37.800 --> 0:34:40.719 that it's not beat my cholesterol's time. But you know 0:34:40.840 --> 0:34:45.239 when you do, when you have these preventative measures, you 0:34:45.360 --> 0:34:49.120 live longer. That's why we're always fighting for It's not 0:34:49.200 --> 0:34:52.640 about once you're sick, it's about being able to understand 0:34:52.719 --> 0:34:54.000 before you get sick. 0:34:54.680 --> 0:35:00.960 And how accessible is it as far as. 0:34:59.320 --> 0:35:01.680 To us, what's that? Who's us? 0:35:02.400 --> 0:35:07.640 It's accessible to Americans, It's accessible to people who have 0:35:07.680 --> 0:35:11.360 medical insurance. It's accessible to people who live in cities 0:35:11.920 --> 0:35:16.440 who have programs like a DAT Because when I was diagnosed, 0:35:16.520 --> 0:35:19.800 I didn't have a job, I didn't have medical insurance, 0:35:20.200 --> 0:35:23.840 I didn't have anything. New York City had had adapt 0:35:24.320 --> 0:35:28.080 They paid for my medications. The actors fun broughtway cares, 0:35:28.080 --> 0:35:29.840 they stepped in, they made sure I was taking care of. 0:35:30.280 --> 0:35:33.759 So, you know, I'm one of the lucky ones. I'm 0:35:33.760 --> 0:35:34.680 one of the blessed ones. 0:35:35.040 --> 0:35:35.279 You know. 0:35:35.360 --> 0:35:39.560 I know there are communities that do not have this access. 0:35:39.920 --> 0:35:41.480 Yeah, oh oh, well that too. 0:35:42.560 --> 0:35:45.000 There are communities that don't have this access. 0:35:45.640 --> 0:35:51.120 I exist in communities that do, and I always try 0:35:51.160 --> 0:35:54.800 to make sure that I'm contributing and speaking. 0:35:54.960 --> 0:36:01.799 And I'm diabetic because my family, yeah you know. And 0:36:01.880 --> 0:36:04.920 the gift of that is I'm not the doctor every 0:36:04.960 --> 0:36:05.680 three months. 0:36:06.560 --> 0:36:09.200 I'm a black, fifty five year old man who goes 0:36:09.239 --> 0:36:14.560 to the doctor every three months. Oh that is a blessing. 0:36:15.200 --> 0:36:19.200 That was the gift because if I didn't have these issues, 0:36:19.600 --> 0:36:22.440 I would probably be less healthy than I am right now, 0:36:23.080 --> 0:36:24.880 because I would never go to the doctor if I 0:36:24.920 --> 0:36:25.120 did not. 0:36:27.200 --> 0:36:29.040 Black man, what is that? But y'all I don't get it. 0:36:29.080 --> 0:36:29.640 But that's okay. 0:36:30.280 --> 0:36:33.920 It's a certain thing, yo. 0:36:34.719 --> 0:36:35.000 I'll be. 0:36:36.719 --> 0:36:38.120 People that still believe in doctors. 0:36:38.160 --> 0:36:41.400 I got this two weeks ago to monitor my sugar. 0:36:41.440 --> 0:36:43.480 I got this two weeks ago to monitor my sugar. 0:36:43.680 --> 0:36:46.200 It took me two weeks. I just put it on today. 0:36:46.840 --> 0:36:48.279 It took me two weeks to just. 0:36:48.280 --> 0:36:55.240 Get Yeah, like until I came to tonight show Awesome 0:36:55.400 --> 0:36:58.960 look for real. Zara was shocked. She's like, when's the 0:36:59.000 --> 0:36:59.959 last time he'd been to the dinner? 0:37:00.160 --> 0:37:03.799 And I was like, dog nineteen seventy nine, like when 0:37:03.840 --> 0:37:04.839 I was eight. 0:37:05.239 --> 0:37:07.839 Well, dental is the hardest insurance too, So shout out 0:37:07.880 --> 0:37:08.520 to the elders. 0:37:08.920 --> 0:37:12.480 Ain't no assurance? Ain't you just go pay for it? 0:37:12.800 --> 0:37:13.560 I didn't even know. 0:37:13.960 --> 0:37:16.040 My assistant was like, you know, you could pay for 0:37:16.080 --> 0:37:18.200 some of this with your assurance. I said, YoY, I 0:37:18.200 --> 0:37:21.280 put it through because the last time I had an assurance, 0:37:21.440 --> 0:37:24.800 they just paid for cleanics and that was it. 0:37:25.000 --> 0:37:27.279 Right right right, Oh, I'm going through it right now. 0:37:27.400 --> 0:37:29.560 I don't have a whole two bus Billy, do you 0:37:29.560 --> 0:37:31.480 wish for us to talk about hiva. A's like we 0:37:31.560 --> 0:37:34.759 kind of do diabetes and how you know, perrymenopause is. 0:37:34.800 --> 0:37:35.600 Kind of thing. 0:37:36.480 --> 0:37:41.480 I feel like people still feel an uncomfortability, especially Yeah, yeah. 0:37:41.560 --> 0:37:46.320 Which is why I came out on the Hollywood Reporter 0:37:46.680 --> 0:37:50.560 to talk about it. Okay, and there's probably not a 0:37:50.640 --> 0:37:55.440 day goes by that somebody stops me and says, sake, 0:37:56.280 --> 0:37:59.520 thank you for saying it, thank you for stamping for us, 0:38:00.080 --> 0:38:01.800 thank you for that, and. 0:38:01.680 --> 0:38:03.680 Thank you and also thank you because, like I said, 0:38:03.680 --> 0:38:06.000 I'm a stand thank you for doing polls. 0:38:05.719 --> 0:38:08.040 And reliving that shit all over again. 0:38:08.200 --> 0:38:11.040 I was like, Billy is the oldest person probably on 0:38:10.640 --> 0:38:12.120 this cast and. 0:38:12.040 --> 0:38:14.800 He's reliving the eighties all over again. That's got to 0:38:14.800 --> 0:38:16.080 be traumatizing as fuck. 0:38:16.719 --> 0:38:18.040 Thank you for understanding that. 0:38:18.520 --> 0:38:22.160 And I didn't get it until COVID and my now 0:38:22.520 --> 0:38:26.879 ex husband called me a. 0:38:28.960 --> 0:38:35.440 What is that not a character actor? A method called 0:38:35.440 --> 0:38:36.319 me a method. 0:38:36.000 --> 0:38:38.880 Actor, and I was like, I'm a method actor. He's like, 0:38:38.920 --> 0:38:40.520 you're a little bit of a method actor. And I 0:38:40.520 --> 0:38:46.480 didn't really receive it until the COVID break. 0:38:46.840 --> 0:38:48.040 We were in the middle of. 0:38:48.239 --> 0:38:53.480 Filming episode one of season three, and then we were 0:38:53.480 --> 0:38:56.359 shut down and we went home for nine months, and 0:38:56.440 --> 0:39:03.000 during the trauma therapy, I realized, oh shit. 0:39:03.360 --> 0:39:05.400 Yes, like, what are you doing? What are you doing? 0:39:06.160 --> 0:39:11.480 I was so excited that somebody was taking me seriously 0:39:11.600 --> 0:39:12.280 as an actor. 0:39:12.680 --> 0:39:14.560 Yeah, I get it that. 0:39:14.680 --> 0:39:18.759 I didn't realize that literally every day I went into work, 0:39:18.800 --> 0:39:22.640 I was re traumatizing every day. 0:39:23.239 --> 0:39:24.520 How did you process it? Then? 0:39:25.040 --> 0:39:28.279 I wasn't processing in the moment, that's the issue. I 0:39:28.400 --> 0:39:30.720 was just happy to be working. But I was carrying 0:39:30.719 --> 0:39:34.040 it with me, and I was bringing it home and 0:39:34.080 --> 0:39:37.880 not really knowing that I was bringing home right, and 0:39:37.960 --> 0:39:41.160 not really understanding why there was a depress. There was 0:39:41.200 --> 0:39:43.799 a low grade depression that I couldn't shake, and all 0:39:43.840 --> 0:39:47.480 of that stuff. And so then when I went back, 0:39:50.000 --> 0:39:54.319 I said, you get three takes. Set these cameras up, 0:39:55.840 --> 0:40:00.279 capture this performance. Man, I'm gonna give you everything, but 0:40:00.360 --> 0:40:02.720 I only have three of them in me. I can't 0:40:02.920 --> 0:40:05.920 keep going and going and going, you know, Like the 0:40:05.960 --> 0:40:10.239 episode season two, I was sick in the bed in 0:40:10.280 --> 0:40:15.880 a hospital bed for like two episodes, and I forgot 0:40:16.160 --> 0:40:17.399 that I've never left the band. 0:40:17.440 --> 0:40:17.839 All day. 0:40:18.760 --> 0:40:22.040 I would make him bring lunch to me, bring me 0:40:22.120 --> 0:40:24.000 the food, Bring me the food. 0:40:24.200 --> 0:40:27.799 I need to stay in it. And I'm like, that's 0:40:27.800 --> 0:40:28.640 the method actor. 0:40:29.400 --> 0:40:33.200 No, a mirror he was. It was like an altar. 0:40:34.560 --> 0:40:40.279 Okay, So I know an actor who almost ruined his 0:40:42.680 --> 0:40:49.440 relationship because he did a method role and didn't go 0:40:49.520 --> 0:40:53.359 through the ritual process of getting rid of it. There's 0:40:53.400 --> 0:40:58.200 a very specific process this actor goes through to get 0:40:58.280 --> 0:40:59.000 rid of a character. 0:41:00.080 --> 0:41:02.600 But because another. 0:41:02.200 --> 0:41:06.880 Project was like right around the corner, this actor didn't 0:41:06.960 --> 0:41:10.319 take the necessary eight weeks to do the thing that 0:41:11.200 --> 0:41:12.920 has to be done to get rid of the character 0:41:13.880 --> 0:41:17.160 and almost ruined his marriage and his family and everything. 0:41:18.239 --> 0:41:21.319 When you were finally finished with post, was there a 0:41:21.560 --> 0:41:24.680 ritual that you had to do in order to get 0:41:24.760 --> 0:41:25.600 rid of the character? 0:41:25.800 --> 0:41:28.560 Or like, what, how do you? How did you let 0:41:28.560 --> 0:41:29.319 it go? How did you? 0:41:29.480 --> 0:41:31.680 I don't know that it's a ritual. It wasn't. It's 0:41:31.680 --> 0:41:32.280 not a ritual. 0:41:32.320 --> 0:41:32.560 For me. 0:41:32.640 --> 0:41:35.279 You just let it go. I just let it go. 0:41:35.560 --> 0:41:38.600 I didn't do anything ritualistic to let it go. It 0:41:38.680 --> 0:41:39.319 was just over. 0:41:41.080 --> 0:41:42.960 So if you're not there doing it every day, it's 0:41:42.960 --> 0:41:47.840 over and to me, for me, and so it slowly 0:41:47.920 --> 0:41:49.720 dissipates and it's slowly gone. 0:41:49.880 --> 0:41:52.040 You know, I will say I didn't watch it. 0:41:52.920 --> 0:41:55.719 I mean I watched the first run when it happened, 0:41:56.920 --> 0:41:59.520 but I didn't return to it till like six months ago, 0:42:00.239 --> 0:42:04.080 and I had to go watch it for that, I 0:42:04.200 --> 0:42:07.040 am enough space that I needed to get into. 0:42:07.360 --> 0:42:11.399 So what was the process like reliving watching it through 0:42:11.400 --> 0:42:14.240 the new filtered Well, I had. 0:42:14.200 --> 0:42:20.360 Enough distance from it to understand my own power. I 0:42:20.400 --> 0:42:22.920 had enough distance from it to watch it and be 0:42:22.960 --> 0:42:25.520 able to you know, and be able to go, oh no. 0:42:25.640 --> 0:42:29.040 I deserve that because I went through a space where 0:42:30.239 --> 0:42:36.120 I had like, oh, I was a diversity winner. I 0:42:36.200 --> 0:42:40.839 won the Emmy as a diversity winner because that's when 0:42:40.880 --> 0:42:42.440 Hollywood was in woke mode. 0:42:42.760 --> 0:42:44.480 Right, I could see you. 0:42:45.120 --> 0:42:47.720 So I went through a time. 0:42:49.160 --> 0:42:52.160 Because so you didn't feel it was legit. You felt 0:42:52.160 --> 0:42:53.000 it was this well. 0:42:54.160 --> 0:42:56.640 Pray tell didn't exist until I walked in the ground. 0:42:56.920 --> 0:43:01.000 Right, So see the one they had already written the 0:43:01.040 --> 0:43:03.759 first four episodes, if you go back to season one, 0:43:04.960 --> 0:43:09.680 they had to fold me into it slowly, and so 0:43:09.760 --> 0:43:12.320 the first three episodes, I'm more. 0:43:12.200 --> 0:43:15.680 Of just the MC. I have a couple of scenes 0:43:15.719 --> 0:43:17.560 outside of it, but I'm just MC. 0:43:18.080 --> 0:43:21.960 It's episode four when I get the HIV diagnosis and 0:43:22.480 --> 0:43:26.360 it's guns a blazing, right and so. But but what 0:43:26.440 --> 0:43:29.600 was weird for me was that season two and season 0:43:29.680 --> 0:43:34.960 three I was the leaved with Blanca and I lost 0:43:35.000 --> 0:43:38.560 the Emmy to two white boys again, you know. And 0:43:38.600 --> 0:43:42.040 it was like, but that's what I deserved, Yeah, because. 0:43:41.800 --> 0:43:42.920 You gotta a season I didn't. 0:43:43.480 --> 0:43:44.440 I didn't feel like. 0:43:44.440 --> 0:43:49.400 I had deserved it for season one because I wasn't 0:43:49.560 --> 0:43:52.399 as much as I was in season two and season three. 0:43:52.640 --> 0:43:56.560 So my brain started to go there. And so then 0:43:56.600 --> 0:43:59.440 my manager and that's the self compassion thing, and so 0:43:59.520 --> 0:44:03.920 my manager was like, Billan, no, you won the Emmy 0:44:04.440 --> 0:44:08.200 for season one and two at the same time, because 0:44:08.280 --> 0:44:11.920 what happened was you came on in the summer for 0:44:12.000 --> 0:44:19.280 season one, you were nominated the following summer, while season. 0:44:18.920 --> 0:44:21.239 Two was Aaron got it. 0:44:21.800 --> 0:44:24.600 So they saw season one, but they were voting on 0:44:24.640 --> 0:44:30.200 your performance of season one ant and I'm like, oh, okay, 0:44:30.800 --> 0:44:32.920 but I had to go back to watch it. 0:44:34.360 --> 0:44:37.000 To go oh no, I was fierce. 0:44:37.400 --> 0:44:41.719 And in season one one two I was slaying in 0:44:41.800 --> 0:44:43.480 season one as well. 0:44:43.840 --> 0:44:45.719 I laid that shit right on down. 0:44:46.840 --> 0:44:49.480 I deserved it, but like I had to go back, 0:44:50.280 --> 0:44:52.239 like I had to talk to myself in the. 0:44:52.120 --> 0:44:57.000 Mirror and be like, you are enough, you deserved it. 0:44:57.400 --> 0:44:59.640 And then, you know, the great part about the thing 0:44:59.680 --> 0:45:02.239 I love about film TV that doesn't exist in theater 0:45:02.400 --> 0:45:03.360 is you write about it. 0:45:04.920 --> 0:45:05.480 The proof is. 0:45:05.520 --> 0:45:09.960 Right there, you know. And the impact the impact of 0:45:10.320 --> 0:45:13.279 TV versus the theater. Because that that birket a whole 0:45:13.360 --> 0:45:14.880 nother show on HBO. 0:45:15.160 --> 0:45:17.840 Right, were you allowed to have input for your character 0:45:17.920 --> 0:45:22.239 development in terms of telling them? So you talked to 0:45:22.239 --> 0:45:23.840 the writers and told me your life story. 0:45:23.880 --> 0:45:25.920 And I didn't have to talk to the writers, they 0:45:25.960 --> 0:45:28.160 already knew it. But yeah, I spoke to the writers. 0:45:28.360 --> 0:45:32.640 But I did get a call. I had done something. 0:45:32.680 --> 0:45:35.400 I can't remember what I did, but I had talked 0:45:35.400 --> 0:45:42.680 about my abuse, my sexual abuse, and Ryan knew about 0:45:42.719 --> 0:45:46.160 my family stuff and my church stuff. And he called 0:45:46.200 --> 0:45:49.480 me one day and he's like, would you be okay 0:45:49.560 --> 0:45:50.680 with us using. 0:45:52.040 --> 0:45:54.560 You know, your Mike and their mom's story. 0:45:55.120 --> 0:45:58.160 Yeah, it's like, are you okay us? Would you be 0:45:58.200 --> 0:46:00.480 okay with us using that? I'm like, isn't I the point? 0:46:00.920 --> 0:46:04.520 Yeah, let's go, let's pay but cut the check. 0:46:05.280 --> 0:46:08.320 Yes, of course. So season three, when I go home 0:46:09.160 --> 0:46:11.200 and tell my family that I have HIV. 0:46:11.440 --> 0:46:14.759 That's all. You know. There's a lot of it that's 0:46:14.840 --> 0:46:15.439 like real. 0:46:16.080 --> 0:46:18.560 You know, the step for the father that molested me 0:46:19.000 --> 0:46:21.680 that comes back like Angels in America in season two, 0:46:22.320 --> 0:46:26.560 and like that was from my life. It's such a gift. 0:46:26.840 --> 0:46:29.520 It really is a gift. You know, who gets to 0:46:29.560 --> 0:46:30.120 do that. 0:46:30.200 --> 0:46:31.520 Like you are. 0:46:31.800 --> 0:46:35.319 It took me thirty years, and look at what it was, 0:46:35.520 --> 0:46:38.520 Look at what it is when it comes around, like 0:46:39.080 --> 0:46:40.280 it's amazing. 0:46:40.480 --> 0:46:42.319 It makes that whole five seven year thing makes so 0:46:42.440 --> 0:46:43.359 much sense. 0:46:44.160 --> 0:46:47.560 You know. And my voice is different now. 0:46:48.600 --> 0:46:51.640 You know, I want you to go and listen to 0:46:51.719 --> 0:46:55.279 me pre as it refluctx and listen to me now. 0:46:55.560 --> 0:46:59.840 And what I find interesting is that people respond to 0:46:59.880 --> 0:47:04.240 my voice differently now, like they actually. 0:47:04.040 --> 0:47:05.960 Like my imperfections. 0:47:06.840 --> 0:47:07.239 I was. 0:47:08.920 --> 0:47:09.480 Is awesome. 0:47:09.800 --> 0:47:15.839 My voice was perfect, not a bad note, center of 0:47:15.880 --> 0:47:21.879 the pitch every moment, never a crack, never nothing. And 0:47:21.960 --> 0:47:26.200 now you know, it's like I finally got to the 0:47:26.200 --> 0:47:29.360 place where I'm like cool with it. Jones later, my 0:47:29.480 --> 0:47:32.760 voice teacher, she was she got me back to being healthy. 0:47:33.440 --> 0:47:36.960 You know, those adjectives don't even describe like Patty and 0:47:37.120 --> 0:47:39.239 and Arika and all of them right like they were 0:47:39.320 --> 0:47:42.400 even in their moments of mistake. It was still genius, 0:47:42.400 --> 0:47:46.759 but they had moments where by educator's check criteria it wasn't. 0:47:47.040 --> 0:47:47.920 Yeah. 0:47:48.000 --> 0:47:51.840 So I'm leaning into this voice because I can smoke 0:47:51.920 --> 0:47:55.480 weed and great and nobody cares. 0:47:59.719 --> 0:48:00.080 This. 0:48:00.080 --> 0:48:01.480 This is what I gotta say. 0:48:02.800 --> 0:48:07.640 And I sound like a broken record to our listening 0:48:07.680 --> 0:48:11.600 audience with QLs. But it's weird, Like I feel almost 0:48:11.600 --> 0:48:15.160 guilty having this platform because like I don't even consider 0:48:15.400 --> 0:48:17.719 a media source more than I consider it as a 0:48:17.840 --> 0:48:20.640 legit way for me to learn about people. 0:48:21.280 --> 0:48:23.920 Yeah, and learn about myself. 0:48:28.760 --> 0:48:34.839 The commonality that we've made today with you sharing how 0:48:34.920 --> 0:48:42.279 you feel about not achieving the space that you want 0:48:42.320 --> 0:48:46.960 to be in your music takes my breath away. And 0:48:47.000 --> 0:48:50.359 thank you for sharing that, because that's not something that 0:48:50.400 --> 0:48:52.239 I would you know, I'm one of those people that 0:48:52.320 --> 0:48:55.560 look to go the masters of everything, you. 0:48:55.520 --> 0:48:58.239 Know, like that you never know. 0:48:58.960 --> 0:49:00.560 Look, I'm shocking people this week. 0:49:01.040 --> 0:49:05.720 Steve has actually achieved the impossible. 0:49:06.239 --> 0:49:10.960 So as this recording and Steve suggested it so. 0:49:12.400 --> 0:49:17.040 Casually, I didn't realize the trap, not the trap that 0:49:17.320 --> 0:49:20.560 I fell into. So I do have a fear in life, 0:49:21.000 --> 0:49:26.719 and that fear is playing jazz. You know, it's not 0:49:26.760 --> 0:49:30.680 that I don't have the ability to do it. And 0:49:30.760 --> 0:49:33.920 I think in general, Black people in general have a 0:49:34.000 --> 0:49:40.279 fear of being vulnerable, either emotionally vulnerable professionally vulnerable, and 0:49:40.440 --> 0:49:42.600 jazz is such well. 0:49:42.600 --> 0:49:45.840 I think music in general is a vulnerability. 0:49:46.080 --> 0:49:49.040 But I do notice that I tend to only be 0:49:49.080 --> 0:49:53.000 in situations that I'm allowed to control, right and in 0:49:53.000 --> 0:49:57.960 this very particular situation, I can control my ten bandmates. 0:49:58.160 --> 0:50:01.799 I can, you know, like I know my music like 0:50:01.840 --> 0:50:04.480 the back of my hand. But when so, you know, 0:50:04.880 --> 0:50:11.799 when I did Steve's project for his label, yes, Sugar Stee, Yes, 0:50:11.920 --> 0:50:15.319 when I did my project for his label, you know 0:50:15.440 --> 0:50:17.920 that that was one thing getting through the actual recording 0:50:17.960 --> 0:50:20.040 of the album. When he's like, all right, we're gonna 0:50:20.040 --> 0:50:23.480 do six shows at the Blue Note, I agreed to it, 0:50:23.520 --> 0:50:25.480 but it was so far in the future that you know, 0:50:25.480 --> 0:50:28.680 I wasn't it. I'm shocked that I didn't find a 0:50:28.680 --> 0:50:35.560 way to sabotage myself, you know. And so I did 0:50:35.640 --> 0:50:37.640 those six shows last night. And that was one of 0:50:37.719 --> 0:50:43.960 my biggest fears in life, like playing that level of musicianship. 0:50:44.719 --> 0:50:47.400 I don't know, because again I tended to beat myself 0:50:47.480 --> 0:50:49.080 up way more than I should. 0:50:49.760 --> 0:50:50.560 Yeah, and. 0:50:52.040 --> 0:50:55.560 For some reason I got through it. So yeah, Steve, 0:50:55.600 --> 0:50:57.440 this is a friendship movement with us, and we've known 0:50:57.480 --> 0:50:58.240 each other for. 0:50:58.080 --> 0:50:59.080 Twenty five years. 0:50:59.440 --> 0:50:59.880 I love that. 0:51:00.960 --> 0:51:03.239 Thank you for taking me out of my fear. But 0:51:04.040 --> 0:51:07.400 you know what I'm saying to you is, you know, 0:51:07.640 --> 0:51:10.280 thank you. I know that when we tend to share 0:51:10.360 --> 0:51:14.040 our stories, whatever our backgrounds are, we might think that 0:51:14.080 --> 0:51:16.800 it's for naught or you know, is it the tree 0:51:16.800 --> 0:51:18.160 that falls in the forest. 0:51:17.800 --> 0:51:19.280 That no one receives or whatever. 0:51:20.080 --> 0:51:22.400 Yeah, but I believe it is definitely one of the 0:51:22.440 --> 0:51:29.440 most important episodes of Quest Love Supreme that we've we've taped, and. 0:51:28.480 --> 0:51:29.560 I want to thank you for that. 0:51:30.680 --> 0:51:33.080 Thank you for having me. It really really means the 0:51:33.080 --> 0:51:33.560 world to me. 0:51:35.120 --> 0:51:37.440 You know, the fact that you you know, because I 0:51:37.680 --> 0:51:41.040 hold you in such high regard, and. 0:51:42.560 --> 0:51:45.520 You know it's cool. I feel cool. You make me 0:51:45.520 --> 0:51:51.520 feel cool. I appreciate that, and I don't always feel cool. 0:51:51.400 --> 0:51:59.400 See guys, and I'm not awkwardly matrix dodging. 0:52:00.000 --> 0:52:02.840 I want to say that no more. I'm truly done Duncan. 0:52:03.239 --> 0:52:06.680 I'm world famous for ducan compliments and all those things 0:52:07.920 --> 0:52:10.279 I felt non deservant of it, but I know for 0:52:10.440 --> 0:52:15.319 I appreciate it, and I am manifesting for you and 0:52:15.400 --> 0:52:20.239 for me. I think the overall lesson that we can 0:52:20.239 --> 0:52:26.759 collectively learn is that inherently we feel as though we 0:52:26.920 --> 0:52:31.279 are enough as human beings. Because I will admit to you, 0:52:31.360 --> 0:52:36.319 I'm I'm very allow that overachievement in my life. Of course, 0:52:36.520 --> 0:52:40.760 you know, my dad was a world famous backstage dad, 0:52:40.800 --> 0:52:45.600 and you know so I'm certain that the people pleasing 0:52:45.640 --> 0:52:47.880 thing of me and the overchieving thing of me, it 0:52:47.920 --> 0:52:50.680 has a lot to do with it, you know, trying 0:52:50.719 --> 0:52:51.600 to make. 0:52:51.480 --> 0:52:52.280 My dad happy. 0:52:54.040 --> 0:52:56.879 But I will say that for our sakes, I hope 0:52:56.880 --> 0:53:00.520 it happens. If it does not happen, and I don't 0:53:00.520 --> 0:53:03.560 believe in manifucking myself if it doesn't have it, I'm 0:53:03.600 --> 0:53:07.719 fine with that personally myself, for you, I hope that 0:53:07.800 --> 0:53:10.440 we find satisfaction and safety. 0:53:10.560 --> 0:53:14.480 Everybody find satisfaction and safety on this call and listening 0:53:14.560 --> 0:53:16.000 to this interview, and freedom. 0:53:16.040 --> 0:53:17.359 Not just Billy in quest love. 0:53:17.600 --> 0:53:21.400 We must all achieve these levels of self compassion and 0:53:21.440 --> 0:53:22.480 love for ourselves. 0:53:22.560 --> 0:53:24.319 Right there, you go, Thank you. 0:53:25.120 --> 0:53:27.240 Well, I'm gonna let you enjoy your dinner. 0:53:27.360 --> 0:53:27.680 Jolley. 0:53:27.680 --> 0:53:29.400 I thank you very much. I wanna be. 0:53:29.440 --> 0:53:33.680 Having me, thanks for having me on Paid Bill, New 0:53:33.719 --> 0:53:37.400 Paid Bill and this Quest Love Thank you. Bill is 0:53:37.400 --> 0:53:40.520 supported for everything and we'll see you guys on the 0:53:40.520 --> 0:53:41.040 next career. 0:53:41.440 --> 0:53:44.240 Thank you all right, Thank you bye. 0:53:46.080 --> 0:53:47.640 Thank you for listening to Quest Love Supreme. 0:53:47.760 --> 0:53:50.400 This podcast is hosted by a Mere quest Love, Thompson, 0:53:50.760 --> 0:53:55.000 Layah Saint Clair Sugar, Steve Mandell, and myself unpaid Phil Sirman. 0:53:55.239 --> 0:53:58.480 The executive producers are Mere just Walk into the Goddamn 0:53:58.560 --> 0:54:03.080 Room Thompson, Sean and Brian Calhoun. Produced by Brittany Benjamin, 0:54:03.160 --> 0:54:06.400 Jake Payne and Liiah Sinclair. Edited by Alex Conroy I 0:54:06.440 --> 0:54:09.680 Know Alex Conen. Produced for iHeart by Noel Brown. 0:54:20.640 --> 0:54:23.520 West Love Supreme is a production al ihearten Radio. 0:54:27.680 --> 0:54:31.000 For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit the iHeartRadio app, 0:54:31.200 --> 0:54:34.240 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.